135

The hiddenmessagesmanagers send

Managers can enhance theirunderstanding ofcommunication among peopleby attending to images,settings, and body language

Michael B. McCaskey

If a manager in an organ-ization talks ahout mak-ing an "end run," whatis he saying? Is he seeinglife in the organizationas a game; is he seeingit as hazardous and mayhenominating himself for ahero role; or is he merelysaying he's going all theway with a project,regardless. The truth iswe don't know what he'ssaying. It is all too easyboth to interpret themetaphors others use tofit our own meaningsand to ignore the factthat metaphors have idio-syncratic meanings thatshould he listened to.The author describes threeways managers conveymessages about them-selves and the ways theysee the world. He en-courages the reader tosee these ways—theirmetaphors, office settings,and body language andtones that accompany theirspeech—as means of com-municating. Just asspeech or mathematics,these are languages thatcan he learned. With skillin them, a manager cansee or hear what is reallygoing on when peopletalk, what hidden messages

we are sending all thetime. The author givessome hints on what tolook and listen for intrying to understandothers, but he warnsagainst simplistic inter-pretations: all messagesoccur in context.

Mr. McCaskey is associateprofessor of organiza-tional behavior at theHarvard Business School.His current area of re-search involves howmanagers cope with ill-defined situations. He isfinding that nonverbalcommunication andimagery are tools fordealing with ambiguity.

Photographs hyThomas Wedell.

In the course of an ordinary day, the typical generalmanager spends an extraordinary amount of timemeeting and talking with people. Part and parcelof a manager's communication are the imagery, theplace, and the body movements that he or she uses.Images, setting, and body language are not just ad-juncts to communication. They carry the messages;and indeed, in some cases, they are the messages.As such they are tremendously important to a man-ager. Yet managers often pay only haphazard atten-tion to them or, worse, presume that they are notgifted in these areas. The truth is we all use theseways of communicating—whether we are aware ofthem or not. The gift is in knowing what is beingcommunicated.

Like mathematics, French, and accounting, theseare languages that ean be learned. With intel-ligent practice, for example, a person can leam toread and to speak "place"—that is, to understandthe symbolic, territorial, and behavior-influencingaspects of physical settings. Imagery, place, and bodylanguage rarely provide definitive information; butthey do provide a manager with a way of knowingthat is not available through other message channels.With skill in these languages, a manager can developinstincts and a good "feel" for a problem that makesadditional appreciation of its subtleties possible.

If managers pay close attention to these featuresembedded in their everyday work life, they willenhance their awareness- of communicating withothers. In this article, I will present some ideas forunderstanding and practicing the languages and will

Aathoi's note: I would like to thank Luise Cahill Dittrich for her help onan earlier version of this article that appeared in Anthony C, Aihos andlohn ]. Cahario, Interpersonal hehaviot: Communicasion and Uniicinandin%in Relationships lEnglcwood Cliffs, N.J.: Prcnticc-Hall, 197H)-

136 Harvard Business Review November-December 1979

indicate the right direction the reader can take tolearn more on his or her own.

Managers' words 8k their images

A senior vice president in a large New York bank istalking about the group he formerly worked with:"You hit the bird cage and everyone is on a newperch. People are always moving there. People moveso fast, and they—whew! I got out of there beforeit all came down."

The imagery is very graphic and tells a lot aboutthis man and the world he lives in. If you couldlisten to him a little more, you would not be sur-prised to learn that he does not have a traditionalbanking background. He sees himself as an entre-preneur and feels that, while most of them are at-tractively dressed and schooled, the other executivesin the bank don't have any fire in their guts. Enmasse [he doesn't see them as individuals] "they"are "birds," which suggests he thinks they are pretty,caged, and—quite likely—fragile. One can sense therelief this man felt when he moved to a part of thebank where he could be active, be himself, beentrepreneurial.

When you pay close attention to the words otherpeople use, you notice that most people draw char-acteristic verbal pictures of themselves and theworld around them. The imagery and metaphorsthat a person most frequently uses can be clues tounderstanding the world he or she inhabits. Thesevivid kernels of speech are drawn from the sportsworld, from literature, from religion, and from otherfields of personal interest or background. The imag-ery shows what's valued, what's feared, and whatthe speaker's behavioral rules are.

Consider the following examples of imagery:> "It's like a fugue, everyone has a different part

to play."> "What we do here is drop back five and punt."> "I am prepared to wait until hell freezes over."> "One more snide comment, and I would have

exploded."

A recurring use of metaphors might suggest that aperson sees life in the organization as a game or isfatalistic about outcomes. Metaphors can also reflectan optimistic, a pessimistic, or even a confused out-look. Think of your own metaphors. Can they be

characterized as earthy, poetic, or violent? Taken incontext, words in metaphor can be clues to howanother is feeling, to what he or she views asimportant.

Another major point about the verbal environ-ment of managers is that words are symbols, themeanings of which can vary greatly depending onwho is using them. This point is troublesome, be-cause it seems so obvious and at the same time con-tradicts an assumption we usually make in oureveryday behavior. I have talked with managerswho assume that words are entities and that com-municating with another is essentially a process oflogically ordering those entities. They direct all theirefforts toward getting the words right and presentinga logically structured train of thought in order topersuade.

Much of the communication between two people,however, implicitly involves sentiments and feel-ings. These feelings are attached to the differentexperiences that words connote for an individual.A typical conversation bumps along without eitherparty paying close attention to the different experi-ences and, therefore, the different meanings that liebehind the words. We tend to assume that we areall referring to the same thing when we say "theboss," "a good report," "a viable alternative," and"a workable solution," but most likely we are not.

As you examine misunderstandings between twomanagers, you will often find that what fouls thechannels of communication is their mutual assump-tion that they are using the same words to meanthe same things. A division vice president and gen-eral manager of a large eonsumer products companywas in the early stages of trying to inculcate a teammanagement style for his top group of managers.At one meeting his marketing vice president asked,"Who is driving the bus?"—implying that no onewas. This was a clear metaphor based on familiarexperience, probably made stronger by the activeconnotation of "driving" and the echo of "bus" inthe word husiness. However, the seemingly clearquestion sparked off heated disagreement. The se-nior executive heard the marketing vice presidentsaying he was uncomfortable that there would notbe one person in charge. That was not at all whatthe division vice president had meant to convey byteam management.

What makes communication problematic is thatpeople fail to recognize the personally distinctiveways in which others use words. As Fritz Roethlis-berger puts it, "As a result, we fail to notice the dif-ferences, and we read into our experiences similar-ities where differences exist."'

Hidden messages 137

Keeping the differences in mind, try listening toconversations somewhat differently from usual. Youmight hear the following three features of the verbalenvironment:

D Does the person use concrete or abstract words?Different people are comfortable with differentlevels of abstraction. Some people use vivid, concreteexpressions; others favor "-ism" and "-ion" wordsthat describe states and conditions. A "concrete" lis-tener might simply reject out of hand—and notbother listening to—someone who talks at a moreabstract level, and vice versa.

n Does the person joke and kid a lot? Joking isone of the few ways some managers permit riskystatements to be made. American managers especial-ly allow each other greater leeway in delivering ahard truth if it is packaged as part of a joke.

D Does the person say "I" or "we" more often?With whom does the person identify? For whatgroups is he or she willing to say, "We need to . .."?In addition, a speaker who uses the royal or editorial"we" to refer to an action that he or she has ob-viously performed alone (royalty and editors ex-cepted) can sound pompous.

The emotional baggage that words carry shows upin other ways as well. In an aerospace company,two managers disagreed about the best way to ap-proach top management for renewed funding of apromising research project. On the one hand, thegroup research director wanted to "provide a menuof options." He wanted not only to give some choicesbut also to specify the range without dramaticallyposing the stakes. By using the word menu he wassaying, in effect, "After all, everybody has to eatsomething—the question is what."

On the other hand, the project manager wantedthe company to "bite the bullet." He wanted tochallenge top management to do it right [that is, toput big funding behind the project) or not to do itat all. Complete with overtones of the American.Wild West and palpable dangers, his phrasing de-picts a situation in which a big step—even thoughpainful or risky—was necessary for the long-runhealth of the project. In this case, both managersare using words as emotional flags; their phrasingexpresses very different sets of assumptions, values,and readings of company mission and philosophy.

Emotional flag waving can, however, be a real im-pediment to discussion. When a manager assigns apejorative word (such as a 'Casanova/' "brown

1. Fiitz |. Roethtisberger. Management and Morale (Cambridge, Mass.:Harvard University Press. 1941), p. y8.

2. Roethlisberger, Management and Morale, p, 100.

nose," "Commie") to another's point of view, he islabeling that person. In labeling, a person is using aword to stop or impede thinking; it represents aquick put-down. Without making an effort to under-stand the other's meanings, a person using a labeloften cuts off any thoughtful response. If the labelis couched in a witty jibe, the offended party mayfind it particularly difficult to continue the discus-sion in terms of the issues. A manager who is a thirdparty to such an exchange can play a valuable rolein identifying the labeling for what it is and in re-stating the matter for continued discussion.

Another important aspect of the verbal environ-ment of managers is questions. Why are they so im-portant? Questions often contain assumptions thatnot only frame the problem in a certain way butalso tend to force its resolution to confonn to theimplicit assumption.

In the example used earlier, one executive asked,"Who is driving the bus?" As I indicated, the ques-tion as phrased contains the assumption that oneperson should be doing the driving. But it also con-tains the assumption that anyone else is a back-seatdriver, which is bad enough in a passenger car, butfrightening in a busload of back-seat drivers. Bothassumptions are antithetical to a team managementconcept. From the division vice president's point ofview, that was the wrong question to be asking, andhe was savvy enough to make the assumption in thequestion explicit and to challenge it.

But aren't there other aspects of questions thata manager needs to attend to? Well, yes. Questionsare not always what they appear to be. Some, like theone I just posed, are really disguised statements.Gestalt psychologist Fritz Perls would sometimes re-fuse to answer questions that patients put to him.He thought of them as traps, inviting him to be thepower figure. He wanted people to acknowledgetheir own power and to face up to the statementsthey needed to make without hiding behind themas questions. In addition, Roethlisberger has notedthat some (perhaps many) questions are so silly theydon't deserve to be answered.^

Yet in the United States, people feel obliged toanswer a question, even though answering shoulddepend on whether the question is a good one,whether it is posed at the right time, and whethera person wants to answer. You might find it reveal-ing to pay attention to the questions you and othersask in conversations. See how many of the questionsare really statements. A question is not as simple asit seems.

Finally, in considering how people reveal them-selves through the words they use, look out for

138 Harvard Business Review November-December 1979

"either/or" thinking. Some people habitually framediscussions in these terms: something is either rightor wrong; you are either with me or against mc; ajob is either good or bad.

Studies of the development of the mind havefound that either/or thinking characterizes the earlystages of a young adult's development. In time, mostpeople discover that life is multidimensional anddoes not fit into two neat categories. Under stress,however, one can return to dichotomized thinking;it becomes time to "throw the crooks out" withoutinvestigating either whether they really are crooksor whether throwing crooks out is the most appro-priate response. It is much easier to stereotypethe opposition—and let thinking and efforts to under-stand end there—than it is to search for a more com-plex truth.

When you hear yourself or another manager dis-cuss a situation in either/or terms, you might ex-amine whether a two-value framework is, in thatsituation, posing false choices. There may be waysto synthetically create a new solution that incorpo-rates something of both sides. The discussion thenmoves from thinking in either/or terms to thinkingin both/and terms.

Words and imagery provide clues to the meaningsand the important values, assumptions, and experi-ences that lie behind a person's choice of words.Next I examine how the place and character of aphysical setting can influence communication be-tween two people.

The reader might look at the accom-panying photographs of otficespaces and try Io read what theoccupants are saying about them-

selves and about the kinds ol inter-actions with others that they areinviting.

Ttte Editors

The office Si place of business

Depending on who they are and what kind of inter-actions they want with others, people use physicalspaces in distinctive ways. Yet it often happens thatboth the receiver and the sender of messages aboutplace are unaware of what is being communicated.A manager who becomes a little more thoughtfulcan better read what people are saying through theiruse of place. Managers can also examine their ownphysical settings to see if their arrangements influ-ence behavior in ways that serve their ends.

The first thing to understand about place is thatit represents territory. Animals mark off the rangeof their territory and defend it against intruders, andso does the human animal. Fences, doors, andboundary markers of all sorts separate what belongs

to one person from what belongs to the rest of theworld. Boundaries give security and privacy, protect-ing one from unwanted encroachments by others (atleast boundaries make the statement that they areunwanted). For example, after a heavy snowfall insome Boston neighborhoods, people will claim astheirs the part of the street they have shovelled forparking. While the car is away, they will mark theirclaims with chairs or trash cans and strenuouslyobject should anyone try to move in on "their spot."

For people to have a sense of "their own" and"home" seems quite important. Basketball teamslike UCLA and Notre Dame are especially tough tobeat when they have the home-court advantage.Home is familiar, predictable, and mine. The im-portance of having one's own territory shows up ina study of communal space in Coventry, England.Contrary to what one might expect, those familiesthat had their own yards fraternized more than thefamilies who shared a communal yard.

In analyzing this finding, one commentator sug-gests, "In suburbs and small towns, people are morelikely to talk across their backyards if the propertyline is indicated by a fence. Because this boundaryhelps them maintain territoriality, it actually bringsneighbors closer together." '' This observation ecboesRobert Frost's famous line, "Good fences make goodneighbors."

The importance of place as territory shows up inthe office as well. When a boss and a subordinatemeet, whose office do they use? If the boss is sensi-tive to place as territory, the purpose of the meetingwill decide the question. To conduct an adversarydiscussion, to emphasize hierarchy and authority,or to give directions, the boss should hold the meet-ing in his or her office. If, however, the boss wantsto reach out to the subordinate—to have a conversa-tion more on the other's terms-he or she mightwell consider traveling to the subordinate's office.

I know a manager who took the territoriality ofoffice to heart. Just before beginning a tough nego-tiation session at another manager's office, he man-aged to sit in the other's big, ostentatious chair. Hemade light of his sitting in it by remarking on thefeel of the chair as he swiveled from side to side. Thesecond man was sufficiently discomfited by this un-usual tactic that he lost the home-court advantage.3. David Dempscy, "Man's Hidden Environment," Playboy, May 197a, p. loS.

Hidden messages 139

140 Harvard Business Review November-December 1979

Hidden messages 141

142 Harvard Business Review November-December 1979

Hidden messages 143

144 Harvard Business Review November-December 1979

At the same time that place defines territoriality,other features of the setting also influence behavior,including the amount and type of interaction amongpeople. Thomas Allen at MIT has studied com-munication patterns in R&D offices. He finds thatbeyond a distance of 25 or 30 yards personal inter-action drops off markedly.^ This suggests that amanager should physically locate together peoplein the organization who have the greatest need totalk to eaeh other. If you are starting up a new team,locate core members close together, even if thismeans sacrificing status space for some memhers.When younger managers understand the dynamicsof propinquity, they may try to locate their officesnext to the boss's.

A manager can use the spaces in his or her officeto influence the character of interactions there. Forinstance, many managers set up their offices withtwo different areas. In one, the manager talks acrossa desk to a person seated at the other side. Such anarrangement emphasizes the manager's authorityand position. A subordinate is likely to feel thathere the boss exercises a home-court advantage. Ina second area, chairs are grouped around a coffeetable or are placed at right angles to each other.Because this arrangement signals a willingness todownplay hierarchical differences, it encourages freerexchange and perhaps more sociable encounters.

Managers in a Iarge financial services company Iknow are perfect examples of how people displayinstinctive reactions to physical settings. They havea marked preference for using one of four conferencerooms, which are all alike except for the tables.Three of the rooms have rectangular tables that canbe moved into squares or U-shapes; the fourth andmost popular room has a round table. For reasonshaving to do with the culture and norms of thisorganization, the managers much prefer to workwith each other around the round table.

Physical settings can be used in other ways tocontrol interactions among people. A buyer for anelectronics company housed in a building thatlacked an elevator deliberately located his office onthe third floor. A salesperson coming to the recep-tion desk on the first floor would invariably he toldthat the buyer "could see you immediately." Thesalesperson would then trek the 40 steps to thebuyer's office and, while still out of breath andsomewhat disoriented, be greeted by the buyer.'' Inthis case, physical setting was designed to controlthe interaction, beginning it on terms that put thesalesperson at a disadvantage.

The impact these arrangements have on peopleis consistent with what cultural anthropologists have

observed concerning people's sense of personal space.Edward T. Hall has studied how people in differentcultures vary in what constitutes a comfortable dis-tance for talking. His research shows that while theEnglish and Germans stand farther apart than Ameri-cans when talking, the Arabs and Japanese standcloser together. Hall also identifies four hasic dis-tances for interaction: intimate space [touching to18 inches); personal space (18 inches to 4 feet);social space {4 feet to 12 feet); and public space (12feet and beyond)."

With chairs at right angles people can more easilymove into each other's personal space. When a deskis placed between two people, the interaction shiftsfrom a personal space to a social space. The contentand nature of communication between two peoplechange markedly when they move from one spatialzone to another. As a result of furniture arrange-ment, then, people often do become more distant—in both senses of the term.

The physical setting also influences behavior be-cause it symbolizes the status of the occupants.Managers sense this, and one sometimes sees terrificbattles fought over physical space in organizationsas members vie for the visible manifestation of amore subtle and elusive phenomenon—power andinfiuence. John Dean noticed this in his first daysat the White House:

"As Bud and I went past the offices of WhiteHouse staff members, I noticed furniture and filesbeing moved. The White House, far more than anyother govemment office, was in a state of perpetualinternal flux. Offices were constantly exchanged andaltered. . . .

"Everyone jockeyed for a position close to thePresident's ear, and even an unseasoned observercould sense minute changes in status. Success andfailure could be seen in the size, decor, and locationof offices. Anyone who moved to a smaller officewas on the way down. If a carpenter or wallpaperhanger was busy in someone's office, this was a suresign he was on the rise. Every day, workmen crawledover the White House complex like ants. Moversbusied themselves with the continuous shuffling offurniture from one office to another as people movedin, up, down, or out. We leamed to read officechanges as an index of the internal bureaucraticpower struggles."4. Thomas f. Allen, "CommunicAtion Networks in R&D Laboratories," H»>DMantigemeni, Vol. i, igjo, p. 14.

5. Luise Cahill Dittrich, "The PaycholoRy ot Place," ICCH ()-476-o8fi, distributedby the Intcicollcgiatc Case Clearing House, SulJiets Field, Boston, Mass. on6 i .

6. Edward T. Hall, The Hidden Dimension (New York; Doubleday, 1965).

7. John W. Dean ni . Blind Ambition (New York: Simon fk Schuster, H»76|.

Hidden messages 145

By White House standards Dean's first office wasshabby. When he complained, he was told it wasonly temporary, that Haldeman hadn't decidedwhere to put him yet: "I did not have to be toldwhat was happening. I was being tested and myperformance would determine what I would get. Iwas at the bottom of the ladder, and instinctively,I began to climb." '

From the manager's point of view control overpersonal furnishings enhances power and authority.Or, depending on how he uses his office, the man-ager can emphasize other values that he considersessential to the high performance of the company.

Ken Olsen and the other top managers at DigitalEquipment Corporation have built one of the mostsuccessful minicomputer companies in the world.Their offices in an old mill are far from grand.Sometimes separated by plywood partitions, the of-fices are faithful to the simple. Spartan beginningsof the company. These arrangements send very clearmessages to the managers and to visitors—hard workand what is functional are important at DEC. Somemay disagree with the DEC managers' choices nowthat they are so successful, but, regardless, theyreveal the range possible in using physical space tosupport and convey the essential values of the or-ganization.

Although it's easier to see when visiting anotherorganization, you might tour your own and look atthe messages you send by your use of physical space.Try touring it as if it were another company. Howmuch of the space (and information) is locked up?Are files, phones, and offices fastened shut? Howcarefully do differences in the size, location, andfurnishings of offices mark status?

Look at the bulletin boards. If they are extremelyneat and if notices must be initialed, employees willfeel less free to scrawl their own notes or to put upcartoons. Is there a coffee um or somewhere elsethat serves as a "watering hole," or are people iso-lated from one another by the office layout? Aninformed reading of place can reveal a Iot abouthow tight a company is, how hierarchical, how rulesconscious, whether individual expression is en-couraged, and what the company values.

Most individuals set up their office spaces to en-courage certain types of interaction and, consciouslyor not, to send messages about themselves. When Ienter a person's place for the first time, I oftenlook at how much he or she has personalized itwith pictures of family, mentors, friends, or favoriteplaces. How much does that person declare abouthimself? Who are the special people, what kinds ofthings does he enjoy having around?

When you first walk into an office or a home,notice the textures. If the person had a choice, didhe use tactile fabrics, long-haired rugs, coverings thatinvite a vistor to run a hand over them? This personmay be signaling a desire to "be in touch," to inter-act at a closer distance. Or are the surfaces clean,polished, and smooth? Does the owner seem toprefer orderliness, to keep interactions at more of adistance? You might look at your own spaces in thesame way and try to read the messages that othersmight find there about you and your preferred stylesof interacting.

Body language & paralinguistics

Like physical settings, body language and paralin-guistics convey important messages that color, sup-port, or contradict the words people use. They sendnonverbal messages, although in the case of paralin-guistics [which includes the tone of voice, pacing,and other extralinguistic features that surround talk-ing), they can involve sounds.

A project director in a huge aerospace companycalled a meeting of higher management people whosupported his research project. Consonant with theoft-expressed company policy of commercially ex-ploiting advanced research work, he wanted themto fund development of a new product internally.Early in the meeting, as he began to outline thesizable costs involved, he sensed their disapprovalfrom facial expressions and body postures. His in-tuition told him that if they were asked to make anexplicit decision on the project, it would be nega-tive. So he ehanged his line of argument and beganstressing the possibilities for external rather thaninternal funding of the project. And he assiduouslyavoided asking for a funding decision at that time.

This type of nonverbal communication and ad-justment occurs every day in business, but frequentlyit goes unnoticed. Messages that are key to a situa-tion—but that participants feel cannot be publiclyor verbally acknowledged—are sent through thesechannels. Because nonverbal messages are ambig-uous and subtle, one can readily reinterpret or denythem. Paradoxically, such messages can be safer andtruer precisely because they are not precise. In theaerospace company, both the project director andhigher management had their own reasons for keep-ing the communication ambiguous.

146 Harvard Business Review November-December 1979

Several books have appeared lately in the popularpress that claim to remove the ambiguity from bodylanguage. They offer a single translation for manyfacial expressions and body postures. For example,arms crossed against the chest "means" that the lis-tener has closed his mind to what the speaker issaying. This kind of simplistic interpretation is anunfortunate misuse of the scholarly research onnonverbal communication. No gesture has a single,unvarying meaning. The researchers have stressedthat the meaning of any gesture depends on culturalnorms, personal style, the physical setting, what hasgone before, and what both parties anticipate forthe future.

Even when the person and the context are fairlywell known, one should be cautious in interpretingbody language. Recently I was walking down a com-pany hallway with a staff person of a Iarge manu-facturer. We passed and exchanged greetings with aman named Jim who was just coming from a meet-ing where he had learned of his new assignment.His face was sagging, and his walk and carriagelacked their usual briskness.

Later at lunch we spent several minutes comparingour readings of lim's nonverbal behavior, searchingfor alternative explanations, and wondering whateach possibility might suggest for the department'sfuture. Interpretations like this should be madecautiously and tentatively. We might find out, forexample, that )fim was suffering from the fiu—andthat was the main source of his nonverbal behavior.

Keeping in mind that nonverbal languages areuseful (because they are ambiguous) and the needfor interpreting meanings within context, let us seehow a manager could learn to read nonverbal lan-guages with greater understanding. For many, theface is the most obvious conveyor of feelings—soobvious, in fact, that we have the expression, "Itwas written all over his face." Some research in-dicates that facial expression, along with tone ofvoice, accounts for more than 90% of the com-munication between two people. The dictionarymeaning of words, then, accounts for only about10% of the communication.^

The best way to improve one's reading of facialexpressions is to watch soundless videotape or filmof people's faces as they talk. Watch for raising orknitting of the eyebrows, widening of the pupils,flaring or wrinkling of the nose, tightening of thelips, baring or clenching of the teeth. To take oneexample, dilating pupils tend to mean that the lis-tener is interested in what you are saying; con-tracting pupils suggest he or she does not like whatyou are saying.

But reading a facial expression is a complex pro-cess because a face often shows a mixture of severalfeelings at once, matching the mixture of feelingsthat the person may be experiencing inside.

Eye-to-eye contact is one of the most direct andpowerful ways people communicate nonvcrbally. InU.S. culture, the social rules suggest that in mostsituations eye contact for a short period is appro-priate. Prolonged eye contact is usually taken to beeither threatening or, in another context, a sign ofromantic interest. Most managers are aware thatthey look directly at individual members of an audi-ence to enhance the impact of their presentation.Some, however, are not aware of how important eyecontact is when they are listening. A good listenermust be physically active to show good attention.

Among whites in the United States, the generalrule is that the speaker in a conversation shouldfind a way to break eye contact and look away. Thelistener shows attention by spending relatively moretime looking at the speaker. Because it makes itharder for the speaker to continue, communicationdifficulties arise if the listener looks away too often.Knowing the impact looking away has can help amanager signal how much longer he or she wishesthe other to continue speaking.

For example, in situations where the boss wishesto hear out the subordinate, he or she should becareful to provide the encouragement of eye atten-tion, head nodding, and occasional "uh huhs" asthe other is speaking. Even without saying words, amanager is sending nonverbal messages about thedepth of his or her understanding and the degree ofempathy.

The unspoken norms about patterns of eye con-tact do differ among racial groups. For blacks orChicanos looking away does not necessarily meanthe same lack of attention that it might mean amongwhite speakers. A young white businessman learnedthis lesson in his first year of managing a subsidiaryin a predominantly Chicano community. He wasreprimanding a clerk named Carlos for a repeatederror in record keeping. As he tried to discuss thematter, Carlos kept averting his eyes. The manager

8. Albert Mchr.ibian, "Communication Without Word*," Psychology Today,September 1968, p. 51,

9. Erving Coffman, Frame Analysis: An Essay on the Organization 0/ Ex-perience (New York: Harper & Row, 1974), p. 541.

10. W,S. Condon and W.D. Ogsion, "A Segmentation of Beh.ivinr," Journalof Psychiatric RMeaich, Vol. 5. rij67, p. u i ; and Alhcrt E. .Scheflcn, HowBehavior Means (Garden City, N.Y.: Doubledjy, 1974).

M, Ray L. Birdwhitscil, Kinesics and Context (PbilaJelphiaT University ofPennsylvania Press, 1970).

12. Frederick Erickson, "Catekecpin^ and ihc Melting Pot: Interaction inCounselling Encounters," Harvard iducalionai Review, Vol. 45, FebruaryI97S, p. 44-

Hidden messages 147

became angry and said, "Look at me when I'm talk-ing to you." The young stock boy tried to establisheye contact but could not maintain it for long.

To the manager, this signaled disrespect and pos-sibly defiance. For the stock boy [following his owncultural norms), it would have been a sign of dis-respect to maintain eye contact with a boss whowas reprimanding him. It was only after Carlos be-came extremely discomfited that the manager real-ized that Carlos's behavior was not meant to com-municate disrespect. Thus patterns of nonverbalcommunication are highly variable among differentcultures and groups, and one should be cautious ingeneralizing too broadly. Assuming that everyonefollows the same rules can lead to misinterpretations.

The paralinguistic features of speech offer anotherpowerful means of tuning in to another's feelings.How is something said? Paralanguage includes toneand quality of voice, pitch, pacing of speech, andsounds such as sighs or grunts. Managers can treatparalanguage as the music of communication—toobserve how a person's voice tightens or catchesat difficult passages or rushes and soars at momentsof high emotion. Surprisingly, one can often hearthe voice of another better without accompanyingvisual information. Because verbal messages can bedistracting (an overload) or contradictory to themusic of paralanguage, we do not attend as closelyas we might to this valuable data source in face-to-face meetings.

Managers should notice pauses and silences aswell as the pacing of speech. Silences can have awhole range of meanings. At one extreme, peopleuse them as a weapon or tactic to close a sale or toseek agreement—waiting until the other is discom-fited enough to make some concession toward theirpositions. Used another way, a pause in the con-versation can be a valuable gift that allows the otherperson time to consider carefully his or her thoughtsand feelings- The nonverbal behavior a person usesduring the silence can help convey whether he orshe intends one or the other effect.

One special type of pause is the filled pause, inwhich the speaker uses a sound such as "uhhh" tofill the spaces between words. Sociologist ErvingGoffman notes that filled pauses are used to "pro-vide continuity, showing that the speaker is still inthe business of completing a reply even though hecannot immediately muster up the right words toeffect this." " A filled pause is a signal that preservesthe speaker's right to talk since it says, in effect,"Don't interrupt. I'm still talking."

The hidden messages of body language and para-language do not have to be the same as the verbal

ones; and, in fact, a one-to-one correspondence isunlikely. But in situations where full and open com-munication is the aim, the nonverbal messagesshould add to the verbal ones in ways that are rea-sonable and trustworthy. When a person is com-municating well, the body language moves in con-cert with the words. Smaller movements such asdropping the head, the hands, or the eye's gaze marka pause, emphasize a point, or express some doubtor irony in one's speech. To mark larger transitionsin thought, the speaker will change his body posi-tion altogether.'** Nonverbal behavior, then, servesas punctuation for the verbal messages being sent.

In moments of great rapport, a remarkable patternof nonverbal communication can develop. Twopeople will mirror each other's movements—drop-ping a hand, shifting their body at exactly the sametime.^' This happens so quickly that without video-tape or film replay one is unlikely to notice themirroring. But managers can leam to watch for dis-ruptions in this mirroring because they are dramat-ically obvious when tbey occur. In the midst of talk-ing, when a person feels that the other has violatedhis expectations or values, he or she will often signaldistress. If norms or status differences make it un-wise to express disagreement or doubt verbally, thenthe message will be conveyed through nonverbal"stumbles."

Instead of smooth mirroring, there will be a burstof movement, almost as if both are losing balance.Arms and legs may be thrust out and the wholebody posture changed in order to regain balance.̂ ^Stumbles signal the need to renegotiate what's beingdiscussed. The renegotiation occurs very rapidly andsubtly and often through nonverbal channels. Man-agers who are aware of stumbles and what they meanhave an option open to them that unaware man-agers do not. They can decide whether a givensituation could be more effectively dealt with byverbally discussing it.

As with other languages, a manager can increaseskill in sending nonverbal messages through intelli-gent practice. One helpful approach is to isolateand study one channel at a time. Because moreinformation comes through several channels thanone person can handle in a face-to-facc encounter,for purposes of learning a person should try to latchon to one set of details at a time. Isolating a chan-nel allows one to appreciate more fully the com-plexity and richness of each channel.

For example, one way managers can increase theirlistening skills and sharpen their appreciation ofbody language is by replaying videotapes of theirown and others' behavior or by watching television

148 Harvard Business Review November-December 1979

without the sound. Listening to audiotapes and hear-ing the music of paralanguage is also instructive.

The nonverbal channels often convey messagestoo sensitive for explicit verbal communication.Since the messages are subtle, ambiguous, and oftententative, they must be read with caution in orderto realize their potential richness. These hiddenmessages reinforce or contradict what is proclaimedverbally and thus can aid an aware manager inmaking sense of a situation.

we make, communicate to others about us and in-fiuence others with regard to us. Whether we areaware of it or not, our interactions with people willbe affected by what they learn about us tbroughour imagery, settings, and body language-and bywhat we learn about them through theirs.^

Reading the messages

One of the ways a manager can develop skill in allthree languages is to work in a small group. It'soften instructive for managers to try out proposedsolutions to a managerial problem by playing roleswhile others watch. The observers will often be sur-prised at how quickly they can tell if one of therole players is feeling under attack or is trying tomislead the other. Even though a role player thinkshe is hiding his discomfort or impatience, observersread the hidden messages quite clearly, although therole players themselves may not be aware of them.

Two lessons emerge. First, for those who are un-comfortable with the idea that they may be givingthemselves away, it is very difficult to censor thesemessages. They "leak out" one way or another.Trying to censor them only increases the confusionof signals and diverts energy tbat could better bedirected toward understanding what is going on.Second, body language, paralinguistics, and imageryare always part of an interaction. The messages arethere to be read. With practice a manager can in-crease skill in reading and sending these messages,even to the point of being able to attend to themwhile in the middle of a specific situation.

In summary, none of these three languages alonegives a clear-cut message about the people usingthem. But cumulatively they can form the basis forimpressions and hunches to be checked out throughfurther inquiry. Our physical settings, like theclothes we wear, the words we utter, and the gestures

Eilitors' notc\ We are graicful to Minis, Levin, Cohn. Glovsky and Popeo(pP- 1.1̂ ). MO. Ul); Data Resources, Inc. (p. 141), anJ Thoriidikc, Doran,Paine &. Lewis, Fnc. (p. 14)] for allowinfi us to phutugiaph the officespaces that appear in this iiniclc.

Harvard Business Review Notice of Use Restrictions, May 2009

Harvard Business Review and Harvard Business Publishing Newsletter content on EBSCOhost is licensed for

the private individual use of authorized EBSCOhost users. It is not intended for use as assigned course material

in academic institutions nor as corporate learning or training materials in businesses. Academic licensees may

not use this content in electronic reserves, electronic course packs, persistent linking from syllabi or by any

other means of incorporating the content into course resources. Business licensees may not host this content on

learning management systems or use persistent linking or other means to incorporate the content into learning

management systems. Harvard Business Publishing will be pleased to grant permission to make this content

available through such means. For rates and permission, contact permissions@harvardbusiness.org.