The Globe Volume X - Issue 3

IH WINS ICAC QUIDDITCHreport on page 8

Monday October 17, 2011 Issue 3 Volume X

Globe TeamcontentsEditorJonathan Ware

Sub-EditorFiona Robertson

DesignShannon Boland

PhotographyShannon BolandSita IndrianiKristina LowLindsay RenFiona Robertson

ContributionsSimon DallChantelle DobunabaHenry Yap

RegularsRebecca DuttonLillian MukisaJess O’Brien-ChurchJonathan Regan-BeasleyFiona RobertsonRichard Toh& the Student Club Committee

The Globe is published weekly by Jonathan Ware on behalf of the International house Student Club.The material here is edited but uncensored and therefore the views expressed here do not reflect those of the editor.

Please share your ideas, your opinions, your ads and your skills with us by emailing us at [email protected]

The Globe acknowledges the Wurundjeri people as the traditional owners of this land. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.

© 2011 The Globe. all rights reserved.

International House241 Royal ParadeParkville, VIC 3052AUSTRALIAihouse.unimelb.edu.au

2 The Globe: october 17 2011

pages 4-5report:Valedicts’ Dinner

page 6-7IH Day 2011

page 8-9 ICAC Quidditch:Muggles Beware

regularspage 3 The Top Two Editor’s Edictpage 10 Ask The SCC Sexy Single Gossip Goatpage 11 Occupy Melbourne Ask the Doctorpage 12 Photo of the Week Quotes Trivia Box

the top two

editor's edict

The Globe: october 17 2011 3

bec & Richard

JOHNNY WARE

Hello fellow IH’ers.So another epic week is passed and RMIT students are finally finished with uni and saying hi to SWOTVAC. Do they even go to uni normally?In the chaos of this week P & VP have forgotten what on earth went on and when, but there are a few memorable aspects that need to be mentioned. Valedicts was awesome. Hats off to the organisers, per-fomers, speech makers and everyone who made it a great night. It was topped by an epic after party courtesy of the organising skills of Jack and Jyosheel (could it be that Jyosheel is more of a party boss than Jenna and Billy?? Perhaps the 2012 ball will give us the answer!!) and I believe was enjoyed by all. IH day on Saturday was amazing. Students, tutors and PC reverted back to their childhood selves in order to enjoy

Oh hey there readerThis week, and therefore this Globe, has been jam-packed full of IH goodness for you all to devour. However instead of writing a straight recap of the events, I’m go-ing to start using my Editor’s Report to award Honourable Mentions to People of the Week. There are no specific criteria for these awards, and they will definitely change from week to week, but if you feel the urge to make my job just that little bit easier don’t hesitate to offer suggestions on either the IH Globe or the IH Students of 2011 Facebook Groups. The first Person of the Week, subtitled The “Mad-Organising-Skills” Award goes to Jenna M-G for the raddest, most fun-filled IH Day since … since well last year really. The combination of a jumping castle, a Slip’n’Slide, a LaserTag set and an awesome Halloween Partay was the perfect recipe for one day IH will not forget for a while.

a bouncy castle, lazer tag and slippery slide. We were serenaded in the courtyard by the lovely Jeremy, then for those willing to brave the sun/rain/wind/heat/cold we were treated to an epic afternoon of Quidditch. I’m pretty sure there is more violence in Muggle Quidditch than there ever would be in real Quidditch. The Halloween Party was pretty hilarious with some debut dance moves from a certain tall and talented young man. The new student club ran their first ever GM on Sunday night and offer their congratulations to all newly elected members. But who cares about GM when there was O-Week auditions? WOW! What a talented bunch we have here!! Thats all your P & VP can remember at this stage so we will say good bye for now. Don’t forget to come and chat to us about anything you wish!Bec & Richard

The next Person of the Week is a fine young lady who was the only IH girl to complete the full centurion on Saturday. I’m awarding the “I’m Still Standing” Award to Tessa Emery for her courage and strength in the face of adversity ... in her case, the adversity was 100 beer shots in 100 minutes.Honourable Mention must go to PC, our “Slip’n’Slider of the Week”. Although I did not experience the magic of his dives onto that soapy mat, I have heard they rivaled even the most graceful of swans.“Man of the Match” this week is a tie between Juan (for his moves with the fairer sex at Valedicts) and Alex Wade (for his phenomenal moves on the dance floor Saturday night at the Halloween Party).Finally, the “Let’s Start From The Top” Award must go to Zi Ai, Mike Buick, Ji, Mahadi and Dionne for their valiant ef-forts whilst the IH sound system crumbled around under the pressure.

Happy devouring of this issue,Johnny Ware xo

The Valedicts Dinner is the 4th for-mal dinner held by International House every year to honour those long-term IHers who are leaving our hallowed halls.

To any other IHer this might just be another chance to dress up in fan-cy clothes and get drunk, however for 49 of us, Thursday night was be more important than that. The dinner marked the end of a very memorable and important chapter of our lives. After our 3 year jour-ney together, this would be our last hoorah at International House, celebrating the friendships we’ve formed, the experiences we’ve shared. and the love we’ve made.

The night began like any other; pre-drinks in the JCR; people get-ting seated; procession with weird music; JM welcoming us and say-ing the International House Toast. Then Natasha Prewett and Jess Boyce sang the national anthem while Hanwei He played the piano.Howard Khoo was invited to give an in-depth and insightful speech about the business world and tips on how to succeed. Many of us lis-tened intently as we enjoyed our macaroons; some of us found this to be a good opportunity to start (and also finish) our wine.Sophie, Simon, and Ken then took us down Memory Lane with their hilarious yet heart warming reflec-tion speech, reminding us of all the disgusting and amazing times we have all shared together.

It was all very much a blur from then on for me. I remember Xavier Tan being as red as he gets and Juan, sexy as he is, calling out for each nation followed by the tra-ditional Yam Seng toast which I’m sure lasted at least 5 minutes (They failed to say ‘To Fraternitas’ but we forgave them). I remember the beautiful video that left every bit-tersweet. I remember being given a Goblet that said ‘Please return so we can get it engraved’ as Jane read out our aspirations. As per tradition the valedicts per-formed the Fresher Dance of 2009 to the song ‘Oh Hot Damn’. Some of us found the need to improvise and started shuffling. I tried to dance, but the wine bottle was in the way. I think, I vaguely remember Tamra telling me to stop drinking and keep dancing! The comment was ignored.To my surprise I found a video of Tash, Emily Kong, Danielle Williat, and Sarah Ong performing their rendition of ‘Everybody’s Chang-ing’ in my phone. I had assumed it didn’t happen (and I didn’t re-member it happening T.T) be-cause I messed up the sound stuff (woops). As everyone knows, their performance was just as expected, exceptional.Unfortunately, that is all I remem-ber from that night, but it is more than enough for me to call it an amazing one. Everyone involved certainly did an awesome job at making it happen, especially Sarah who was stressing out till the very end and only had 20 minutes to prepare of the night!Finally, I would like to say, IHers of 2009 rule. Be jealous freshies, be very jealous!! :P

Henry Yap writes about what he can (and more importantly what he can’t) remember about last Thurs-day’s Valedictor Dinner.


report: Valedicts’ Dinner

expose: IH Hires A Jumping Castle, Immaturity Ensues


8 The Globe:oc tober 17 2011

icac quidditch: muggles bewareThe ever-voyeristic Chazza Dee recaps the sole time she got to yell angrily at active participants of an ICaC event.

On the comedown of what was es-sentially IH’s illicit drug bender (the example used figuratively and for metaphoric purposes of course), we find ourselves wandering what even happened at ICAC’s better events: ICAC QUIDDITCH. Let me take you on a journey of exceeded expectations, lost voices and inap-propriate yelling.

I’m certainly not going to lie, at first ICAC Quidditch presented itself to myself as the opportunity for a free barbeque and to check out the tal-ent (if you have to ask what sort of talent, you have none) at Ormond; but what started as a show of side-line support ended in my basking in the glory of IH’s inevitable tri-umph against evil. There they were, dressed in robes – a rookie error made on behalf of the team in their first match against Queens (sorry to farewell Phil T’s bond on his robe), and ready to start what would be-

come our first undefeated streak in sporting history. Quidditch is a sport, if you disagree, you can bite the weenie. The Harry Potter score was blasted from overhead speak-ers, the whiff of sizzling processed meat and ‘vegetarian’ patties in-filtrated our nostrils, atmospheric excitement overwhelmed me and I was overcome with the need for what would be the beginning of a series of very important pep talks.

For those of you who did not at-tend, I commiserate for your ab-sence during one of the greater collections of words I have ever yelled violently at a surrounding circle of people – even rivalling one unfortunate incident with a game of **** **** Goose ... Sadly, this pep talk was not documented, but for those who were not present, it was the beginning of what will con-tinue to be: Chazza’s Chance To Yell Things Angrily At People Who Vol-unteered To Be Yelled At And Call It A Pep-Talk.

There is much to say about the tac-tics game itself that ensued, but in summary, our first pool match can be described like this: “It was like

Qu***s got a punt in the c**t, one that destroyed any future hopes for procreation.”

Other irrelevant things happened following this win; including the official handover by the IH P*nda of the bamboo-bolt and my suc-cessful attempt to play Harry Pot-ter dub**ep over the speakers. Our second round match against St Mary’s was the battle of Asian vs. Asian, IH vs. that insanely fast guy that was everywhere all the time. Fired up from a pep-talk of catalytic proportions (DRAGONS OF THE SKY, MATTER OF PRIDE, FROM BOYS & GIRLS TO WITCHES & WIZARDS etc. etc.), IH d*minated with our persuASIAN power and shunned Mary’s like the Weasley’s inexplicably dumped Percy from their family. (WAS THAT NOT AWKS TO ANYONE ELSE?)

It was then that we found ourselves in the semi finals of the QUIDDITCH WORLD (Intercollegiate) CUP! I feel that the next series of events would be best described in my own inter-pretation of linear, enjoy.Game begins -> IH pwns -> Ormond are aggressive -> Chazza and John-


icac quidditch: muggles beware

NOTE: I have taken the liberty to censor my-self. I’ve also exercised the right to censor other words I found offensive or too dirty.

ny yell at Ormond for being aggres-sive -> other spectators awkwardly watch Chazza and Johnny yell in-appropriately and confuse players -> Chazza and Johnny are not even drunk -> Snitch is released, Nathan runs -> Snitch appears -> Nathan does not -> Nathan gets lost for 10 minutes -> Ormond are f*lthy rats who switch their Seekers -> Chazza and Johnny yell about this -> a re-voltingly skinny and hideous dog runs across the field and everyone pauses to watch in disgust -> Na-than tackles the snitch, pulls down his shorts and accidentally fondles test*cles whilst attempting to find the actual ball (no pun intended) -> IH wins because Orm**d are Cheater-McCheat-Faces -> the weird skinny d*g is still skinny and still roaming around the field -> Chazza makes it known (via yell-ing) that the skinny d*g is malnour-ished and its presence is counter-productive to functioning without v*miting.

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN.I will not undermine the grand pre-miere of my final pep talk, expect-ed to be released in the upcoming week on Facebook, by telling you

details of it in this article. As far as I am concerned, the only people worthy of experiencing said pep talk were pres-ent for its live presentation. For antici-patory purposes, imagine the final pep talk as the best pep talk you have ever witnessed. It is not cliché, it is punny and it contains course language and violence (I may or may not have been holding a weapon at the time). The following DID NOT happen:- IH lost.- Nathan got naked.- Chazza and Johnny stopped yelling.- Sophie Wade started a brawl against the Newman team captain and de-clared that Newman should be re-ferred to as Poo-man.

The following DID happen:IH WON M*THERF***ERS!

Well, technically we tied first place with even goal points and had both Seekers catch the Snitch at the same time. But IH won with regards to spirit, vulgarity and vol-ume – in true IH style. Here is a collection of other things that happened in list form (be-cause I like lists):- It rained. - the Harry Potter score was played to add dramatic tension to real life events.- Dave O’Sullivan got the last sau-sage (interpret that however you like).- Chazza lost her voice.- Matilda Broe was physically abused by a wand. (fact, not hyper-bole)

1. I don’t know. They were all so good I can’t pick just one. If I had to though, it’d prob-ably be Shannon, Kate and Mati’s one - they were awe-some!!2. I don’t really watch Harry Potter .. or read, full stop.

1. Ryan and Brian - because it was unexpected but abso-lutely entertaining.2. Cedric Diggory (aka Rob-ert Pattinson) - he was pretty cute in his pre-pasty-vampire/crazy-fangirl/twilight days


ask your scc

Sita CAROLINACommunications Officer

MEL ROSIERGeneral Member for GC

Gossip Goat here, your one and only (hardly) source into the scandalous lives of International House’s elite.

Spotted: Last Monday a certain Ms T posted on Facebook wanting in-formation on purchasing blow-up dolls. Careful now T, public forums are not for those kinds of requests!

It would appear that quite a few of you shook yo’ booty and ‘got down at dirty’ at Valedicts’ and the after party. Special mention goes to our favourite Mexican who is rumoured to have wooed three of the ladies with his dashing good looks and dance floor charm, and highly com-mended goes to B-man, who has been said to have hooked up- not one, not two, but five times with A, whilst also having two other girls on the side. Oo la la, careful now, play-ers, too many love games and some-one is going to get hurt.

Spotted: Baby W, the new captain of the dance floor, on Saturday night at the last party of the IHSCC calen-dar year. Grinding up on just about every single attendee of the party, baby W definitely shocked and awed in a fashion not out of place at a Hal-loween party.

Now as the semester begins to wind down and everyone shackles them-selves to their studies in the hopes of a pass, please don’t forget your dar-ling Gossip Goat, and make sure you make every day rumour-worthy.

You know you love me,XOXO, Gossip Goat.

Sexy Single

Those long, elegant limbs that dance their way into your heart. That voluptuous red hair that temps you with every curl. The giggle that sends your heart into flutters – oh you know it, you’ve got a crush on Miss Shannon Boland.

This creative whirlwind has proven that she is indeed a great force to be reckoned with. She can choreo-graph a routine for just you and her that will cause you to tumble at her gracious feet. Right where she wants you. She can draw you a picture so beautiful, it will cause you to break down into tears, sobbing on her shoulder, with her arms around you. Right where she wants you. She can dress so magnificently that you will be overcome with joy, run to her and embrace her. Again, Miss Boland’s got you right where she wants you. Oh Shannon! How do you continue to manipulate us so? Why won’t you just let our hearts be? Already they ache from your teasing mind games. You are not an easy one to capture…But, for those out there amongst the IH community that might dare wrangle this vivacious vixen, here’s some advice that might come in handy when you try to woo the lass. She believes that savoury is the best flavour of Shapes. She welcomes quotes from Black Books and A Very Potter Musical and will probably be enamoured with you if you try them out on her. And if you share with her a love for Disney Pixar movies, well then, I think there’s a good chance she may marry you on the spot. So, IHers, heed my advice and try to lure in the wonder that is Shannon Bo-land. But be warned, she may very well break your heart.

Gossip Goat

columnsFiona Robertson provided this

week’s questions:1. what are you fave O-Week

Audtion and why?2. if you were at the Hogwarts Yule

Ball, which wizard would you go for?


columnsoccupy melbourne?

with Jonathan Regan-beasleyask the Doctor

with lillian mukisa

Offering Primary Health Care in Rural Communities

Primary health care (PHC) is the ‘very basic’ health care given to individu-als at the first contact with any health system (usually more appreciated in rural communities, yet is a part of us everywhere). Primary health care links health systems to sectors other than health in an effort to promote health and prevent disease.

Community health workers (CHW)play a major role in achieving this. An example of this linkage is seen in the involvement of faith-based organisations or donor-bodies that work with health-related initiatives, to promote health, usually in rural communities.

PHC services in rural communities offer services like family planning, first aid and management of com-mon illnesses, health education, home visits, maternal and child care,data collection, record-keeping and monitoring, among others. The provision of these basic health care services, especially to rural commu-

nities, suggests that there is im-proved equity and access of health care, which would have otherwise been too far away and these local people would not afford those ser-vices.

PHC promotes community par-ticipation in public health and eco-nomic development. Health edu-cation is promoted in schools, in religious gatherings, home visits and women gatherings, thus in-volving all communities to partici-pate in community health promo-tion and selfdevelopment.

Family planning, nutrition and bet-ter parenthood planning programs are integrated into health service delivery in clinics and home visits, as a way of building trust among the community members. These increase people’s trust and confi-dence in addressing reproductive health issues. These CHWs bring about the integration of reproduc-tive health services into health sys-tems in rural communities and pro-viding the required case referrals to the main hospitals.

The key people that are trained and later used in these (rural) communi-ties, so as to effectively deliver these health services, are called commu-nity health workers. Therefore; the WHO describes community h ealth workers as “…members of the com-munities where they work, selected by the communities, answerable to the communities for their activi-ties, supported by the health sys-tem but not necessarily a part of its organisation, and having shorter training than professional medical workers”.gym). Therefore, people need more sensitization about the importance of physiotherapy to im-prove lives.

Hello there, Jon here with another ultra-conservative rant about “them damn commies” currently protesting in Inner-city Melbourne. Well not re-ally. Over in my 7th or 8th “home away from home”, New York City, some not-so-happy chaps have been protest-ing the massive influence the top 1% of wealth-holders have on the other 99%.

Fair point, I say. You can’t run a decent campaign any more without taking donations from large corporations, which are, in effect, run by the said 1%. And this happens while you’re paid a measly $7.25 an hour. But I do won-der how relevant this is in Australia, a country with the highest minimum wage and unemployment benefits in the world, alongside low unemploy-ment and high participation rates.

Look, I’m the first to admit that our system is far from perfect. But have areal consideration of the alternatives before taking to our streets en masse. Basic economic theory tells us that, with exceptions, people will not work without incentives. Higher redistribu-tion of wealth means less incentives for the innovators of our world, mean-ing less productivity, less taxes and less redistribution for the little guy.

So have a think about that while I go and apologise to my fellow Greens members for this article. Bye for now.


quotes

1. What protest that began in New York has spread worldwide?

2. Which Spice Girl nearly got deported from Aus-tralia due to a visa mix-up?

3. Which remake of a classic 70s crime drama TV series has been can-celled due to flagged ratings?

4. The name of the Liberi-an-flagged container ship stuck on a reef off New Zealand?

5. Australian medical research has revealed that people born in this day and age could live up to the age of ….?

6. The product that Mex-ico may now sell to the US?

7. The Jewish pilgrimage festival that is currently taking place?

8. What did the bill that was passed this week (that affects the biggest economic reform in this generation) concern?

9. Which Australian actor is rumoured to be slated as the next James Bond?

10. Which Australian airline admits to having lost an unaccompanied minor in their airports last month?

TRIVIA ANSWERS: 1- Occupy Wall Street. 2-Scary Spice (Mel B). 3- Charlie’s An-gel. 4-Rena. 5-150 years old. 6- Water. 7-Sukkot. 8- Carbon Tax. 9- Hugh Jackman. 10- Qantas.

“If I could get these cookies from every kid on the plan-et, I’d totally be Santa when I grow up.”

Dani Shaw raving about CaterCare biscuits

“I can’t do maths.”Ben Gray

“That’’s what she said.”Johnny Ware bringingfemale objectificationto a whole new level

“I felt really small in the Or-mond toilet cubicle.”

An intimidated Nadine Sullivan

“Too cold for you to keep her. Too hard for you to leave her. Who’s that chick?”photo by Tom Seah

We are always looking for new and exciting contributors to join our regular team of columnists, editors and all round fancy people. Email us at [email protected] or find Johnny Ware (usually in N401, or if it’s a Sunday night then in the computer lab till late ... very late)

trivia boxpicture of the week:

Facebook.com/IHGlobe

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