The Gift of Self
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Transcript of The Gift of Self
![Page 1: The Gift of Self](https://reader038.fdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022103016/55621e78d8b42af6668b45da/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
The Gift of Self
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Developing self-concept in kids.
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Poker Chip
Analogy
The more
you have
,
the more
you’ll
risk.
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Poker Chip
Analogy
And kids
need to
take
RISKS
to grow
.
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Don’t worry about creating a
self-absorbed narcissist.
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That’s not going to be a
problem.
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of elementary school boys agree with this statement: I’m happy the way I am.
67%
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of elementary school girls do.
60%
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By high school, the numbers
change.
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46%BOYS
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29
%GIRLS
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Self love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self neglecting.Shakespeare. Henry V.
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9 in 10 girls say that media and the fashion industry want them to look like her.
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We can build self-concept in kids.
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And it’s actually not that tricky.
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Here are the keys.
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Key No. 1: They must have an unshakeable belief in their inherent worth.
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One needs something to believe in, something for which one can have wholehearted enthusiasm.
Hannah Senesh
““
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One needs to feel that one’s life has meaning, that one is needed in this world.
Hannah Senesh“
“
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Here are some ways to help
with that.
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serv
e othe
rs
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I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know:
“
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The only ones among you who will be truly happy
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are those who will have sought and found how to serve others.
“albert schweitzer
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Write to th
emselves
about how th
ey
overcame tough
situations.
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Develop
growth
mindset
*READ CAROL
DWECK’S BOOK
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HELP
THEM
FIND
THIS
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WRITE LUNCH BOX
NOTES AND
GET-WELL MESSAGES
(BOTTLE OPTIONAL).
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Key No. 2: Help them recognize that they accomplish things of value.
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READ “THE HOBBIT”
MASTEREDALGEBRA
PARENTS READ TO ME
READ BOOKS
WITH NO PICTURES
READ CHAPTER BOOKS
LEARNED TO READ
WILL READ “WAR &PEACE”
LIKED TO SINGSILLY SONGS
STARTEDPIANO
LESSONS
GOT BETTERAT
SIGHT-READING
GOT A KEYBOARD
&PLAYED
GOT MY OWN
IPOD
WILL PLAY“TRAUMEREI” &
LEARN LEFT HANDBETTER
LIKED TO SORT TOYS AND
PLAY GAMES
BEGIN TO LOVE
FRACTIONS
MULTIPLY&
DIVIDE
LEARNED TO DO
BASIC MATH
WILL TAKEAP
CALCULUS
CREATE TIMELINES OF SKILL DEVELOPMENT
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CREATE APRIDE LINE
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“I WAS PROUDOF MYSELF WHEN I…”
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DEVELOPPRIDEIN THINGSTHAT ARE
SPECIFIC
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DEVELOPPRIDEIN ACTIONS
NOTQUALITIES
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DISPLAYSUCCESSSYMOLS
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KEEP IN MIND:
ONEMAN’S
ANOTHER MAN’S
=
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Key No. 3: Help them connect with others.
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PEN PALS*TRY POSTCROSSING.COM
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KEEP PETS
(ALIVE)
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HELP THEM FIND FRIENDS.
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EVEN JUST ONE.
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Key No. 4: Help them understand the role of practice and effort.
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IT AIN’T EASY, AND DON’T LET ‘EM
THINK IT IS.
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If they think it should come
easily because they are smart,
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they will become discouraged and begin to doubt
themselves.
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Our doubts are traitors, and
make us lose the good we oft
might win by fearing to attempt.
William Shakespeare
Measure for Measure
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Teach them the role of deliberate practice.
*see work of Anders Ericcson
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I can golf every
weekend and not
get better.
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To get better,
I have to
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be motivatedto improve
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getimmedia
tefeedback
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perform the sameor similar tasks.
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again and again
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try the samething different
ways
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not expect toenjoy thepracticeitself all ofthe time
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That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved. Emerson
““
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Key No. 5: Teach themto trust their intuition.
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Blink…
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and you
don’t miss it.
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this
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paid
$10,000,000
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for this.
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now they
![Page 64: The Gift of Self](https://reader038.fdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022103016/55621e78d8b42af6668b45da/html5/thumbnails/64.jpg)
think it might be
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fake.
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Oops.
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Trust your gut.
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Key No. 6: Know the perils of praise.
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DANGER! PRAISE FOR BEING NOT
DOING AHEAD!
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When you praise everything, you’re really praising nothing.
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If you praise, doit for things theydo, not who theyare.
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Praise effort, not perceived ability.
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Say, “I’m noticinghow hard you’re working on that.”
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Not, “You’re so smart.”
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Now you have these.
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Please feel free to use them on any kid you meet.
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Click here If you want toknow more.
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Credit LoveThis presentation was inspired by 100 Ways to Enhance Self-Concept by Jack Canfield. Although I read the very old edition, a newer one is available. Several of the ideas contained here are tweaks of ideas in this book.
The ideas regarding Ericsson’s work and the importance of intuition were inspired by Malcolm Gladwell’s books Outliers and Blink, respectively.
Photo credits:All photos except those noted below are from iStockPhoto & sxc.hu.Slide 15 – TotallyFred (Flickr)Slide 38 – Erik Plomp: www.ervaarmarketing.nl Getty – Jelson25 (Wikipedia user)Kouros – Dorli Burge