The Fuddler May 2012
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Transcript of The Fuddler May 2012
Page 1
When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!
A ppermanent nail colour that lasts for weeks without wearing or chipping. That strengthens
and promotes the growth of your own nail. With over 80 different Colours including French.
Permanent Nail Colour & Manicure ££25 Extensions - Gel Sculptures ££35 Permanent Nail Colour on Toes ££15
Gift Vouchers Available
01525 860688 117 Clophill Road, Maulden
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FROM CHEESEMANS PHARMACY
We apologise for any inconvenience caused due to important refurbishment work
taking place over the next 2 weeks or so.
We assure you that the Pharmacy will be open throughout and a continuous service
will be provided as normal.
We thank you for your understanding and co-operation.
CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL Tel: 01525 402173
NEED AN ELECTRICIAN?NIC-EIC Registered
All electrical work Testing and Certification
Free Estimates AMPTHILL
ELECTRICAL SERVICES
01525 632921 07977173452See our ad on p 5
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40 Yrs experience Fully Insured Special Rates for OAPS!
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FED UP WITH THE HEADACHE OF
BOOKKEEPING?
If you are a small business or sole trader contact:
Vanessa John AICB CB.Cert BUSINESS IN BALANCE businessinbalancebookkeeping
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Tel: 07976 307411 …. for a friendly,
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As always a great big welcome to this super sunny Fuddler which we very much hope you’ll enjoy. There’s lots of fun and nonsense inside plus details of local events. Also of course there are those all important messages from our advertisers which please
do look carefully through as we all know by now ‘Whatever you need - you’ll find it in The Fuddler!’ The excitement is building here in Fuddlerland as we shortly celebrate a whole decade of Fuddling!!! If you would like an ad please ring Martin on 01525 841434.
Sharman LawS O L I C I T O R SIncorporating Sharman & Trethewy
The Solicitors who care for you,your family and your business
1 Harpur Street, BedfordTelephone: 01234 30 30 30
Email: [email protected]: www.SharmanLaw.co.uk
88 Dunstable Street, AmpthillTelephone: 01525 750 750
Page 2
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33, RUSSELL DRIVE AMPTHILL
With Summer not far away, isn’t it time you considered replacing those doors and windows? Or maybe a new conservatory to enjoy. Don’t compromise on style - call into our showroom and see our stunning range of doors and windows including “The Composite Door”.
No window or glazing job too small.
We are pleased to offer our special lunchtime menu in
addition to our newSpring restaurant menu.
Page 3
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On the 25th August this year, local lass Donna Elmore is taking part in a sponsored Skydive in aid of Macmillan Cancer Support in memory of her Dad Michael (Eddie) Elmore of Queens Road Ampthill. Donna’s target to be raised is £1,000 and all the money will go to Macmillan as she has funded the jump herself. As she says ‘I know times are hard at the moment but w i th CANCER now touching 1 in 3 people, this is a fantastic cause! To pledge anything you can afford, please go to www.justgiving.com/Donna-Elmore. ‘Thank you for any support you can offer, it means a lot to me!’
You are invited to the Queen's Diamond Jubilee 'Thanksgiving Service' to be held at: St Andrew's Church, Ampthill on 27th May 2012 at 6.30pm with a peal of bells at 6pm.
Ampthill Choral Society are holding a concert on 26 May at 7.30 at Ampthill M e t h o d i s t C h u r c h Programme: Folk Songs by Vaughan Williams and Merrie England – words by Basil Hood Music by Edward German. Tickets £7 available on the door. Drinks on sale after the concert
The Ampthill Singers are delighted to announce that they will be making their biggest ever charity donation following a very successful 2011. Last year’s efforts will allow us to make a donation of £2750 to The British Heart Foundation, which was chosen in memory of one of our founder members who passed away early in 2011. The money was raised by means of our two Annual Concerts in November, collections during performances Waitrose and several other engagements with local organisations. Each year the members chose one or more charities to support and those chosen for 2012 are Cancer Research UK and Keech Hospice Care. Work is just starting on this year’s show, our tenth, having been formed in 2003. To mark this anniversary, this performance will be a selection of the favourites from the previous nine shows. We now have around 40 members and meet every Tuesday evening at 7.30pm in Ampthill Methodist Church. If anyone enjoys singing, can vaguely hold a tune and would like to join a friendly group (we get a tea break for extra chatting), we guarantee that you will receive a warm welcome. Please feel free to contact us via our email address [email protected] or tel: 07735 317639
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Bio Sculpture Gel Nails: Hands £22.00 Toes £17.00 Special offer - Book together
Hands & Toes £35.00 Rockstar Glitter Toes £20.00 Kooky Toes £20.00 Mini Pedicure £18.00
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LIDLINGTON CAR BOOT SALE
*****************
EVERY SUNDAY & BANK HOLIDAY MONDAYS APRIL TO SEPTEMBER
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For details of times and prices visit our website www.lidlingtoncarboot.co.uk
01525 405598 rec. msg.
Page 4
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“The Fuddler” i s pub l i she d by MDA Publications and printed by Fidelity. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. No part of this publication may be copied in any form or by any means without written permission of the Publisher. Copyright MDA Publications.
Like to book an ad, or ask about our absurdly low rates please ring Martin on
Across: 7 Certainly, 8 Broom, 10 Endanger, 11 Reside, 12 Once, 13 Tolerate, 15 Cherish, 17 Envelop, 20 Primrose, 22 More, 25 Walnut, 26 Tiny Tots, 27 Faith, 28 Continued
Down: 1 Penny, 2 Strain, 3 Ringlets, 4 Clarity, 5 Preserve, 6 Condition, 9 Oral, 14 Charlatan, 16 Ruminate, 18 Nominate, 19 Section, 21 Oath, 23 Rating, 24 Strew
On behalf of everyone at
We extend a massive thank you to everyone who supported our new
premises launch raffle. We raised a staggering
£520.86 forKeech Hospice Care
Thank you!
LT Building & Designs Ltd Property Maintenance Specialists
01525 840300 www.ltbd.co.uk [email protected]
All aspects of property maintenance carried out to a high standard including carpentry, plumbing, brickwork, decorating, window & door repair/replace and kitchen fitting.
Free quotations, no job too small, family run local business
Times to suit you. 1st assessment FREE -
45 mins lessons ALL AGES
For further information contact Guy on 07811 364 328
LORD DEE’S PONDERINGS I was chuckling to myself as, despite
Nanny’s admonishments concerning the perils of enjoying a tipple, I again enjoyed a toast to Her
Majesty on the occasion of her birthday.
I will certainly do the same for the Diamond Jubilee celebrations.
I am sure the late great Check-It-Out and my old mate Duster would
have approved. Ciao
A BRIANISM I was going shopping but I looked out of the
window and the drought was too
severe so I thought I would wait.
Page 5
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ALWAYS USE AN NIC EIC REGISTRED ELECTRICIAN
AMPTHILL ELECTRICAL SERVICES01525 632921/07977173452
Email: [email protected]
Here at Ampthill Electrical Services, Chris is always happy to provide you with a free estimate for any workrequired. He will also help you to make informed choices that will not only save you on the cost of anyinstallation, but most importantly on long term running costs.
Electrical safety is paramount to Chris, and he keeps fully up to date on all the amendments and changes toCurrent Regulations. He is annually assessed by the NIC EIC who inspect his work, and check Certification tomake sure that he is fully compliant.
Most people do not realise the importance of having their electrical work Registered with the Local Authority.When you choose Ampthill Electrical Services you can be sure that your work will be Fully Certified and coveredby an Insurance Backed NIC EIC 10 year Warranty.
Please telephone Chris Hackett for a free no obligation quote or advice
www.ampthillelectricalservices.co.uk
Page 6
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Here’s another of Marjorie’s fine crosswords for our entertainment
X
E
T
S
I N
V E
E
Sandra’s been busy again looking through her big book of words (dictionary?) and brings us the word below. (Nothing to do with the crossword.) Just look at the hexagon and see whether or not the word jumps out at you! (Answer at the bottom of the page if it doesn’t!)
Down: 2 Concur (5) 3 Academic (7) 5 Devoured (5) 6 Critical (7) 7 Flower stalk (5) 8 Enticement (5) 9 Bashful (5) 14 Gaelic (4) 16 Vanished (4) 18 Body of attendants (7) 20 Exalt (7) 21 Tree (5) 23 Creepy (5) 24 Bury (5) 26 Aroma (5) 28 Accurate (5)
Across: 1 Howls (5) 4 Muscular (5) 10 Pirate (7) 11 Entirety (5) 12 Hymn (5) 13 Advantage (7) 15 Water jug (4) 17 Classify (5) 19 Asinine (5) 22 Paucity (4) 25 Performer (7) 27 Canoe anag (5) 29 Small boat (5) 30 Mimic (7) 31 Below (5) 32 Jokes (5)
Extensive
1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9
10 11
12 13 14
15 16
17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28
29 30
31 32
*Maintenance *Drainage *Driveways
*Landscaping *Fencing *Patios
Contact: Andi Brackenridge T: 07789 681252Email: [email protected]
J HELECTRICAL
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Tel: 01525 280176 Mob: 07759 240 414
Garage Door Solutions LtdYour local garage door expert for:
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All makes & designs available 24 Hour repair service No call out charge All work guaranteed Free quotations
Call us now on: 01525 721615 / 07761 093468
Website: www.garagedoorsolutionsltd.co.uk Or see the yellow pages
3, Woodcock Walk, Flitwick, Bedfordshire, MK 45 1RD
Page 7
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Ampthill CelebratesAmpthill Celebrates
Queen Elizabeth’s Diamond JubileeQueen Elizabeth’s Diamond Jubilee
Monday 4 June 2012Monday 4 June 2012 Ampthill ParkAmpthill Park
Celebrations & Activities
Gates open 1 pmGates open 1 pm
>> 1pm to 5pm ‘A Children’s Family Picnic’ 1pm to 5pm ‘A Children’s Family Picnic’ Bring your own Bring your own picnics and enjoy the entertainment, music, games and races. picnics and enjoy the entertainment, music, games and races. Fairground rides and bouncy castles.Fairground rides and bouncy castles.
>>5 pm ‘A Parade of Uniformed Organisations’ 5 pm ‘A Parade of Uniformed Organisations’ led by the led by the Town Band. Town Band.
>>6 pm Evening onwards enjoy ~6 pm Evening onwards enjoy ~
Real Ale Tent & London Bus BarReal Ale Tent & London Bus Bar
Four Live BandsFour Live Bands
Spectacular FireSpectacular Fire--Work DisplayWork Display
Pig Roast & Food StallsPig Roast & Food Stalls
Lighting of Ampthill’s Beacon (1 of the 2,012 lit across Lighting of Ampthill’s Beacon (1 of the 2,012 lit across the United Kingdom!)the United Kingdom!)
For more information contact Ampthill Town Council For more information contact Ampthill Town Council 01525 404355 01525 404355
Page 8
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Benedictus of the ‘9Tails’..........
Poor Benedictus…….at long last after waiting patiently in the solace of time the wind is in the east with a clear night sky save for one single star so now he has the chance to find once again the key of 100 turns. However, cruelly Benedictus is hampered still further by Meerkat’s apparent lack of imagination to find a path for his ‘tails’ to continue…he is fearful he will now be lost to time itself and that is a terrifying thought.
Not even a recent journey to stay with Brother Meerkat seemed to help. Even the wonderful idyllic scenery of the Worcestershire and Gloucestershire countryside failed to ignite the fire of imagination. The powerful and majestic presence of the proud and stately Malvern Hills and the gentle curves of the quieter Chilterns with the meandering flow of the river Severn, so much a part of that journey, failed this time to uplift the spirits for writing. Meerkat seemed lost to time herself with the temporarily paralysing of the brain! But, not all is lost;
something very recuperative must have happened because on her return Meerkat was having a cup of coffee with a friend when suddenly the match was lit and the fire ignited....very strange that because the conversation was quite weird and totally off the wall. Her friend was telling her about the time recently when she was pouring what she thought was oil over her roast potatoes only to find it was orange juice and on another occasion wondering why she could not get on with the starch she was using whilst doing the
ironing…well of course not…it was furniture polish! Worrying is the fact that this is the friend who, at a very exclusive mature age a couple of Christmases ago, found much pleasure in her Christmas present of an electric saw! Well that did it…something triggered those sleepy brain cells, for the imagination is now in full swing and wait!… . lo o k ! . . . t h e r e g o e s Benedictus…can you see him?...no?...come on, try. There he goes scampering at full speed up the path to the little church…on and on until…….
Copyright reserved
01525 404334
ALL BRICKWORK AND REPAIRS
PLUS REPOINTING No job too small
Please ring Joe
Servicing Spares Repairs ON ALL MAKES OF MOTORCYCLES
Reasonable Rates Experienced Mechanic
Motorcycles always wanted in any condition - parts or whole
• • •
• •
Page 9
When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!
37 Church Street Ampthill
MK45 2PL Office: 01525 841736 Open 09.00 to 12.30 Affiliated to the C.I.U.
Managed by the community for the community
Pop in this May 2012 and have a look, if you like what you see fill in a
membership form. Its £10 annual fee plus £3
for C.I.U. card which allows access to all C.I.U. clubs in England, Wales & Scotland. Ask at the
bar
Your membership allows you access to the CHEAPEST BAR in AMPTHILL Automatic invitation to all its social functions plus preferential rates for
hiring rooms
We’re across the road from St. Andrews Church with a large free car park for members and
their guests. We cater for Weddings, Birthdays,
Christenings and Wakes and support local charities with free
facilities.
Free WiFi
Look out for our add in the Fuddler for Beer Festivals and Wine tasting experiences Recognised by CAMRA for our cask ales
Free WiFi
We’ll have the SKY Ultimate Package
To view on our large T.V. in the bar
& 5’ x 5’
Projector screen in HD
in our large lounge
Large Lounge Bar
Page 10
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By Julio Van Peebles 1) Has anyone ever been called Perce Hill? 2) Are actress Halle Berry's parents elderberries 3) How can you warm the cockles of your heart? 4) Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? 5) Why do banks use both sides of the page for your statement to save paper, and then send a pointless page with it?? Julio’s Top Tip : A sombrero in a bin liner makes an excellent hands free umbrella !!
With Jimmy The Voice This month we see that JTV has been playing with his carpentry set again! He says that he has built this pile of blocks ....
But we think that he is imagining things again and that it is not a possibility! But what do you think?
Many Congratulations to Amy and Carl on the birth of baby Jago on the 18th April.
Lots of love Auntie Jenna and Uncle Mitch xxx
21st May Happy Birthday
Jilly! xxxx
‘I fink I can control the cellar now and I am pretty handy at first aid too!’
Happy Birthday to Emily for the
12th May
Specialists in all aspects of PLASTERING.Also a HANDYMAN SERVICE Available.
Please call Alan:01582 663307 ~ 07961 936561or email: [email protected]
Page 11
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Babs was busy working in her office, typing a long list of reports. Suddenly she stopped typing, took a sheet of blank paper to the photocopying machine and proceeded to make ten blank copies. She then returned to her desk and continued typing. One of her colleagues watched in amazement and asked what she was doing. ‘I was out of typing paper and you told me to use copier paper instead.’ replied Babs sensibly.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. If you smile when things go wrong - you already know who you are going to blame. My friends husband is so silly that the only way she can get him to take exercise is to hide the remote control.If you want to retain privacy in a railway carriage, sing a selection of songs from shows. Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. If you need self help books to tell you what to do with your life - you’re missing the point. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? If you get divorced make sure you have custody of the money. Concentrate on the present and the future will take care of itself. Remember there are plenty of fish in the sea it’s just that most are flounder. If space is a vacuum, who changes the bag? 1 Inner ear, 2 JRR Tolkien, 3
1955, 4 Fish, 5 Waves, 6 Vulture, 7 Patricia Cornwell, 8 Nimes, France, 9 Indiana, 10 Ava Gardner
1. Where would you find ‘The Semicircular Canals’?
2. Who wrote ‘A Middle English Vocabulary’?
3. In which year was ‘Rock Around the Clock’ written’?
4. What is a ‘Miller’s thumb’? 5. I f you su f fe red f rom
‘Cymophobia’ - what would you fear?
6. ‘Venue’ is the collective term for which creature?
7. Who created ‘Dr Kay Scarpetta’?
8. Where did the material ‘Denim’ originate?
9. In which US state is there a town called ‘Surprise’?
10.By which name is ‘Lucy Johnson’ better known?
Learn the fascinating art of
Enquiries: Tel: 01525 634052
No Special Clothing
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Everyone Welcome
In Flitwick Special Beginners
Classes For Children and Adults
Starting Monday 7th May at 6.00pm
and every Monday thereafter Flitwick Leisure Centre
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CALL 24/7 FOR A FREE QUOTE OR ADVICE
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Page 12
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CANCER (June 22-July 23) Your love life appears to be a bit on the shaky side. Is it because you refuse to back down? You can’t always have things your own way. LEO (July 24-August 23) If you believe strongly enough that you can achieve what you want to - then you will. The difficult part is making the decision. VIRGO (Aug 24-Sept 23) Your life should not consist of only work. There is time for relaxation but, quite simply, you have to take the time to create it. LIBRA (Sept 24-Oct 23) Grab those ideas that are flitting about in your mind and write them down before they escape! That way you might carry some of them out. SCORPIO (Oct 24-Nov 22) The planetary aspects look very positive for those born around the middle of the month. Long distance travel is strongly indicated. SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23-Dec 22) It takes a brave person to stand their ground while others may be doubting you. All should turn out as you hope but you may have to listen to others.
CAPRICORN (Dec 23-Jan 20) Slowly does it. If you rush into anything without due consideration you could run headlong into a wall. Accept advice given freely. AQUARIUS (Jan 21-Feb 19) Try to stay calm after the news you receive is not quite what you were expecting. There will always be another day. PISCES (Feb 20-March 20) Don’t worry about finances too much. Occasionally it does us all good to throw caution to the wind - as long as you do it cautiously. ARIES (March 21-April 20) After your recent birthday you probably feel a little older. No worries - wisdom comes with age - invest your cash carefully. TAURUS (April 21-May 21) There is a move afoot! Could be home or job but things look very positive indeed. Don’t rush headlong into a situation you can’t get out of. GEMINI (May 22-June 21) That old obstinate streak seems to be coming to the fore again. Just back off a little and you will find the compromise was well worth it.
We are a family run business who have been working in the motor trade for over 40 years
Total Fleet Care Unit 5, Vass Industrial Estate,
Station Road, Ampthill, MK45 2RB
Telephone: 01525 405055 Mob: 07821 179619 / 07891 282689
Web: www.totalfleetcare.com
DISCOUNT MOTs IN AMPTHILL
Plus ... Servicing and repairs for all types of vehicles
Free local delivery and collection Bodyshop Tyres and exhausts Courtesy car available Discounts for Pensioners Vehicle recovery service
Dunstable Street Ampthill Tel: 01525 403319
email: [email protected] Engine & Tender - Bar
THURSDAY NIGHT IS ... ALE NIGHT
£2.50 a pint!
Monday 4th June Join us for a Jubilee Garden
Party with BBQ
Sunday 20th May QUIZ NIGHT - Cash Prizes!
OPEN MIC NIGHT Thursday June 7th
Please pop in for details
17th May
Spanish Grand
Prix 1.00 pm
27th May
Monaco Grand
Prix 2.00 pm
19th May Champions
League 7.45 pm Watch it
here!
ALL LIVE SPORTS SHOWN If it’s on -
it’s on here!
Plus selected wines at £10.00 a bottle every day!
Saturday 26th May 3 LEGGED CHARITY BEER RACE
Open 10.00 am for breakfast rolls then register from 11.00 am
Page 13
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This is the time of year, I hear the people cheer, Yes they’re right - summer is here.
So to help the children enjoy the sun, We have a new range of toys come in,
To help increase their fun. We have toys for girls and toys for boys, footballs,
paddling pools, bubble sets, water guns to help them have a bit more fun,
All we need now is that nice hot sun. We also have a great range of lollies and ice creams too,
Displayed by the door all ready for you. A new range of adult and children’s books have
also just come in We have received so many we have just managed
to fit them all in. Good news for customers on the way
So let me tell you about big savings on newspapers that starts today.
We are running a great newspaper offer, where you get 6 weeks free delivery to your door,
So for more information please contact our store. So come to Martins and have a good look around,
Oh and I’ve just remembered to tell you we are still selling 2ltr cartons of milk for only £1.
YOUR LOCAL MARTINS NEWSAGENT 17 CHURCH STREET AMPTHILL
01525 404096
The Green ManChurch EndEversholtMK17 9DU
Telephone – 01525 288111Website www.greenmaneversholt.com
THE QUEEN’S DIAMOND JUBILEE CELEBRATION
Saturday June 2ndCome and join us for our
‘CROWNS & TIARAS’ party!Kings and Queens throughout
the ages is the theme Fancy dress is most welcome
but not obligatory
LIVE BAND Starts at 8.00 pm
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Call: 07917 727 265 or 01234 768 706Email: [email protected]
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Page 15
When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!
Page 16
Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com
With Flora the Explorer Sometimes, air crew make an effort to make their in-flight announcements a bit more entertaining .... ‘As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.’ From a Airline employee: ‘There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.’ After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant got on the PA and said, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tyre smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.’ Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: ‘We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.’ After landing: ‘Thank you for flying with us today. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.’ ‘Last one off the plane must clean it.’ Thanks for those Flora - please send us more!
To book an advertisement in our next edition please ring Martin on 01525 841434
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TRY BEFORE YOU BUY(DARTS ONLY)
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- Darts & Accessories- Pool / Snooker Cues & Equipment- Chess- Backgammon- Playing Cards- Dominoes- Cribbage
Page 17
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Memory Foam Mattresses Direct from the manufacturer
at trade prices!
WWW.COMFORT MATTRESS.CO.UK
At Comfort Mattress we manufactureand distribute high quality
Memory Foam mattresses locallyfrom Shefford.
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Here’s more great photos of readers abroad! To the left our readers are at Queen Hatshepsut’s temple in The Valley of the Queens Egypt. Below is Vanessa Horn enjoying a beer and her Fuddler at Tofino which is on Long Beach, west coast of Vancouver Island. If you have any pictures of a Fuddler being read abroad p l e a se s e nd t h e m t o [email protected]
Home made Italian Food Vegetarian Dishes Birthdays
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Tel: (01525) 404666
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Saturday 26th May sees the famous Ampthill 3 legged beer race which raises a tremendous amount of money each year for the Gambia and local charities. The event starts at the Engine and Tender pub in Dunstable Street, Ampthill where the lovely Louise will be preparing breakfast rolls from 10.00am before the registrations from 11.00 am. The race starts at 12.00 when the competitors have to complete a challenging course around the pubs in Ampthill culminating in a huge party at the Wingfield Club in Church Street, Ampthill. If you would like to take part sponsorship forms are available from the pubs in Ampthill or alternatively you could download a form at www.ampthillthreeleggedrace.com. You’ll also find full details on posters which are now displayed around the town. If you have not been involved or seen this annual spectacular event you should go along and watch the proceedings. It’s a great deal of fun and well worth supporting.
Fancy a dip? The lovely Woburn Lido in Crawley Road, Woburn opens on May 21st and is open every day from 10.00 am till 7.00 pm until the end of August. You can take a dip for £7.00 for adults and £4.50 for children or perhaps a family day ticket for £20.00. Senior Citizens also pay £4.50 but Senior Citizens also enjoy a free swimming concession before midday. Woburn residents may also obtain a season ticket.
36 Dunstable Street, Ampthill Telephone 01525 634857
THANK YOU!!We are now South Beds Camra
Pub of the Year 2012
ANDBedfordshire Camra Pub of the Year 2012
Russell & the team
And don’t forget our 12 real ales and real ciders!
We didn’t want to shout about it but in July The Fuddler will be 10 years old!! To celebrate a
whole decade of Fuddling we will be creating a very special edition! So, to book your ad space please
ring Martin on 01525 841434
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Another reader has kindly forwarded this delicious sounding recipe to us: SAUSAGE BACON AND
LEEK CASSEROLE For 4 people you will need: 8 pork sausages from your local butcher 8 rashers of streaky bacon 1 large leek 1 tbsp cooking oil Gravy (either your own or simply use gravy granules and a couple of beef stock cubes) Something gentle to slurp whilst slaving over the hot stove! Firstly heat up the oil in a frying pan and fry sausages
until golden brown. Remove from pan and set to one side. Chop up the bacon and leek and add to pan and gently fry until cooked. Remove from pan and drain excess oil. Then chuck the sausages, chopped bacon, leek into an ovenproof casserole dish, cover with gravy and cook gently in a preheated medium oven for about 30 minutes or so to allow the flavours to infuse. (Also works well in a slow cooker.) Serve either with creamy mashed potato or if you are really hungry - cauliflower cheese!
‘To my darling husband, Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the drive. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home from the supermarket, and when I turned into the drive I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the truck fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car. I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.’
Now turn to page 22 ...
True extracts from CVs sent to prospective employers 1.‘Finished eighth in a class
of ten.’ 2.‘Reason for leaving last
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salesperson of the year.’ 4.‘References none. I’ve left
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May 12th A very Happy
Birthday to Simon
Happy Birthday to ‘Smithy’ for the
17th May!
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Page 21
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AMPTHILL PLASTICS CELEBRATE THEIR 1ST YEAR AND THE SUCCESS OF THE
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Page 22
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Hello! I wonder if you recognise me? I am an actress currently appearing on your television screens in a very well watched legal type US programme, the name of which sometimes gets confused with another show! Answer at the foot of the page.
Julianna Margulies - The Good Wife
With Ann, Robin & Son, Here’s even more of the daft answers that games how contestants come up with when faced with the pressure of the cameras!Something that comes in 7's: ..................................... ‘Fingers’ A type of cut: ................................................................ ‘Skull’ Something you keep in a garden shed: ................ ‘A gardener’ A song with moon in the title: .................. ‘Blue Suede Moon’ A character from Little Red Riding Hood: ...................... ‘Hansel and Gretel’ Something you might find in a garage: ...........‘A grand piano’ Something you hide in your socks when you go swimming: ... .................................................................................‘Your legs’ A popular TV soap: .......................................................‘Dove’ A way of toasting someone: .................................‘Over a fire’ A yellow fruit: ............................................................‘Orange’ An occupation where you need a torch: .................‘A burglar’ A wild animal that's native to Britain: .........................‘A bear’ An animal with horns: ................................................. ‘A bee’
(from page 20)
With Dave (Theo) Saurus A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory. Oh Dear! But thanks!
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OFFICE: SMART Motorcycle Training
38, Kings Road, Maulden, Beds MK45 2DT
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Redborne School, Ampthill, Beds MK45 2NU
Don’t forget Town Hall Antiques in Woburn. A wide variety of Antiques, the biggest stock of
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‘P.S. Your girlfriend called.’
Page 23
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Answers by email to [email protected] or on a postcard to The Fuddler, PO Box 756 Ampthill Bedford MK45 2WZ Answer next month!
With Lauren Louella Boughalls Hello again everyone and a massive thank you to all who correctly identified last month’s picture as Woburn, taken we believe in the early 1900’s. Unfortunately I have not got room here to name every person who sent an answer in but again thanks and congratulations to everybody. Now on to this month’s poser. Algi and I have not done much cycling of late with the torrential rains but we did find this photograph of a rather unusual roof arrangement in our files. Do you recognise where it could be?
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I NEED A CO-DRIVER TO CROSS
THE GIBSON Alice Springs to Well 35 on the Canning Stock Route 1976 and back
Day 6 Some time after leaving the rusting truck, we returned to another “milestone in the sand\”, this time is was almost a real milestone, we had noted it on the way out but now, in a more relaxed mood, we stopped. It was a stone cairn that must have taken quite a while to assemble, marking a point where two tracks crossed, Lodged in the top of the pile of stones was an old tin box, like we used to get loose tea leaves in. Inside was a small notebook and a small pencil,
the note book contained the obvious, the names and dates of previous folk to pass this point, There were quite a few but Piccadilly Circus, it was not. Gerry added our details to the list while I stood on the Land Rover bonnet and did a 360 degree pan with my Super 8 movie camera, ending with a “Lap dissolve” of the setting Sun ready for the next shot to follow. Of course I had no idea what that next shot would be. It turned out later to be quite a fortuitous decision as the next shots on the movie camera fitted in extremely well with the theme of the trip. We were lighter and closer to home; we avoided several of the problems we met on the way out. As an example, you will appreciate that these
tracks are not in regular use. Sometimes you will find a substantial bush almost a small tree growing in the middle of the road, this does suggest that no one has been here for a while! On one occasion we found the track had been seriously eroded because a monitor lizard had made her home in the middle of the track. But the worst problem occurred when a flash flood during a rare thunderstorm had destroyed the “real” track and created what appeared to be a new real track, it is hard to describe but this could lead to a point where the track would take you gently down a narrow valley to a dead end, as if a JCB had dug a narrow trench going down say, 10 feet over the course of 70 feet
along, and then just forgotten to dig a way out. The point is that we found several such problems on the way out and knew where to expect some of them on the way back. We made good time. BUT! we had lasted for six days on the food and water we left with and had planned to replenish supplies en-route! At the point where we decided to make what we hoped would be our last bush camp we had less than TWO pints of fresh water left and very little food. I used my half of the water to make a nice strong mug of tea and Gerry had another Vesta Curry, he was a tough guy.
Prof Reginald V Q da Ghama IPA With kind permission of Jim Barr
Building Preservation Specialists Damp Proofing Woodworm Treatments Dry / Wet Rot Treatments Basement Waterproofing
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Page 25
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All Ampthillians who enjoy a fun night out and at the same time welcome an excellent chance of winning pots of money are invited to get themselves to Parkside Hall on Saturday 19th
May at 7.30 to do battle with hordes of frogs! But don’t worry guys - these frogs are definitely friendly and non-reptilian! So many of you had such a great night out at the last Frog Racing Event that we are going to do another! Each Frog Race is sponsored by local businesses and masses of local people are buying frogs to race on the night. Frogs are only £1 each and you have a 1 in 8 chance of winning a fiver! All proceeds are going towards this year’s Ampthill Festival and Gala so every one in Ampthill will benefit. To get your tickets for this event or to buy some frogs please contact Belinda on 07880 734148 or Jill on 07840 932930 or just pop into the Cottage Bakery on Dunstable Street. If you would like to promote your business with sponsorship give Belinda or Jill a ring. **Remember Festival Dates for your Diaries: AmpRocks Friday 29th June; Proms in the Park Saturday 30th June, Gala Day 1st July. We also have a very warm welcome for any volunteers who want to help with all or any of the above. Ring Jill Rose on 07840932930/[email protected] and keep checking our website on www.ampthillfestival.co.uk
Ampthill Festival is holding its annual Boules competition this year on Saturday 16th June. The exciting difference this year is that it is being run in conjunction with the Beer Festival at Ampthill Rugby Club. The Boules will start at 2.30 and is open to anyone who wants to compete – novices as well as experts. Hopefully, visitors to the Beer Festival will take the opportunity to take a break between pints and have a ‘fling’ and those who have come for the tournament will taste a few pints between ends! Watch out for the posters and June’s Fuddler for more details. Any questions or queries ring Jill on 07840932930.
Your chance to be Ampthill Festival Queen 2012! The selection for the Queen and her Princesses is on May 19th at 9.30 am in the Methodist Church Room. We are looking for girls who can smile and wave as they lead the parade on 1st July.
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What’s on at The Queens Head ...
The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee Celebrations
2nd - 5th JuneThere’s loads of ‘stuff’ going on at The Queens! Too much to list here but you assured of plenty of fun and surprises, maybe a little music and of
course a great range of beers to taste! Please pop in for details.
QUIZ NIGHT EVERY WEDNESDAY9.00 pm - no entry fee and everyone welcome
SUMMER LADIES DARTS LEAGUEMeeting here for the season - please ask for details.
SUNDAY LUNCHESDelicious Roasts served all day
PRIVATE PARTIES CATERED FORPlease ask for details
REAL ALESUp to 8 real ales available for your enjoyment.
CATCH THE LAST OF THE DAY’S SUNSHINE!On our sunny side patio (when the rain stops!)
Page 26
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Here’s a little more whimsy and interesting tales and facts from the pen of Montgolfier: The most expensive afternoon tea in the country is now £85.00 and is in London. (Includes a glass of champagne.) Fuddlerland tea rooms and garden centres are a lot cheaper - do try them. There are 15,000 microscopic hairs in each of out ears. They don’t re grow and once they’re gone - they’re gone. A bit like my head. On having a chicken meal one person said ‘This is a big leg - is it one of the back ones?’ Do you know I’ve never yet seen a four legged chicken. As a good lad I have now removed my hosepipe and stowed it away. But I have put a one foot piece of hosepipe on the tap to save spilling water if I want to fill a container. Can I still be done for using a hosepipe? There doesn’t appear to be anything about how long a pipe can be. One foot or one mile? What has up to now been referred to as accidents on motorways and roads will in future be called incidents so that someone will be held responsible. The reason you see avenues of Lime trees leading up to country houses etc is because lime trees can be cloned and will all look the same in size and height. Did you know that all words in Japanese end with ‘N’ or a vowel? My friend Miles is nothing to do with distances Another newspaper misprint: The police officer stopped him for not riding a motorcycle while wearing a helmet.
Tel No: 0790 185 3737 Email: [email protected]
81 High Street, Cran eld, Bedford, MK43 0DP
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Page 27
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Here’s a bit more nonsense that I’ve just come across: Look at the following:
COD2MV110b Can you see what it means? If not look at the bottom of the page!
Turn the page upside down and look at the word in a mirror!
I wanted to impart a message to my reader that I have not been able to write my normal column this month as I have been to far away places in search of adventure. However you will be pleased to know I shall return next month!
MOREGHOSTLY
GOINGS ON! By Lissie Early in the 1900’s a great knight in armour is said to have been seen riding his horse along the road from Ampthill to Millbrook. The apparition, luminous in the mist, appeared before the eyes of several astonished travellers on the road! Soldiers on sentry duty at the gates of Ampthill Park declared that this knight was seen to descend from the hill where the castle once stood in the park and move slowly towards the road, where it disappeared in the direction of Millbrook.
Lissie
With Al B. Suppin
In English pubs, unruly customers were told to mind their own pints and quarts and settle down – and so began the phrase "mind your P's and Q's". (Another explanation is customers were being warned about the potency of the beer. At 'freehouses' where people could make and sell their own beer, there was less control on the alcohol content.) Saint Arnold, a bishop born in 580, is considered the patron saint of beer. He encouraged people to drink beer instead of water during the Plague. Indeed, the Plague suddenly disappeared once his word spread (though some suggest because beer was boiled in the brewing process, it would have been safer than water, which had previously spread the infection.) When Saint Arnold died in 640, the citizens of his hometown carried his body from Remiremont to Metz for reburial in their church. On this journey, another miracle occurred – when the weary porters stopped to share their only mug of beer, they discovered the mug never ran dry. Historians report that during the Middle Ages, when monks were brewing their beer in their monasteries, each monk was allowed to drink 5 quarts of beer a day.
Our grateful thanks once again Al!
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