THE ESSENTIALSTHE ESSENTIALSOF MANHOODOF MANHOOD

all young men must masterPrinciples and Practices

Landon Roddenberry

Note from the Author

Gentlemen, I want to go ahead and congratulate you on making it to the rst

page. Might seem weird to say, but you have already done what most young men

will never attempt - taking a step toward improvement.

Now, I will not promise that this small book will change your life or that you will

feel better about yourself upon completing it. In fact, there is a good chance that

the following pages will reveal some areas of your life that you are not very proud

of. I will promise you however, that if you take these principles to heart and make

an honest effort to practice the suggested techniques, you will drastically

improve your lifestyle and grow as a man.

This book is written as a collection of ideas and principles aimed at preparing

the young man for manhood. So please, share it with other young men who are

struggling to find their footing in life.

If you are still reading then I assume you are prepared to put in the work and

dedication required for manhood. I want to wish you all the best of luck and offer

my help whenever you may need it.

All the best,

-Landon

Note from the Author

The Problem

We have a problem on our hands. We, as a nation, are losing our men at an

alarming rate. Regardless how you feel about climate change, nuclear deterrence,

or preserving the most recently discovered organism, I wish to argue that losing

our men is far worse of a dilemma. If the issue is not resolved, there may not be a

nation worth saving from war or the impending climate change. So, how are we

losing our men and what exactly is causing such an extermination in America? It

requires us to both jump into the history of our nation as well as the history of

ourselves as men. The truth is uncomfortable, but is necessary to analyze if we

are to find the root causes of our failings.

June 6th, 1944 - 18 year old young men were storming the beaches of

Normandy. These young American soldiers knew that they had little chance of

surviving the next few moments after the troop carrier door opened. Immediate

machine-gun re laid down by the Germans met each pounding heart as they all

charged the fury. A great many of these German bullets found their targets in the

American soldiers.

For a fortunate few, however, the ght would continue until they managed to

destroy the mighty Nazi regime and reclaim Europe under the ag of freedom.

Those that survived the war would return home to their families and a nation in

need of rebuilding after a crippling depression. So what did they do? They each

picked up a hammer and rebuilt the United States into the superpower we are

today. If you haven't heard of these men before, allow me to introduce you to the

Greatest Generation.

Fast-forward 70 plus years and 18 year old young men are storming the

university safe-spaces and mental health clinics because someone hurt their

feelings or they “can’t handle” themselves. These emotional bullets manage to

impact most, if not all, of their targets directly in the heart. We, instead of

charging the source, are all retreating, tail tucked and whimpering all the way to

our therapist in hopes someone can make us feel better.

The Problem

The Problem

For a fortunate few, we manage to make it to “manhood” without shattering

like a snow ake and we proceed to search for all the ways society can provide for

us and cater to our every need. Our expectations are such that because we were

born, we somehow deserve to be successful and feel like we have purpose. Or, at

the very minimum, we believe that someone should support us if we chose to not

work. Have you heard of these men? It’s us, the Millennials.

Now, let’s take a moment to point out some of the major differences in the two

populations just presented:

1. They were tough and we are snowflakes.

2. They found purpose and we find excuses.

3. They had a vision and we have complaints.

4. They wanted to give and we want to receive

Are you getting the picture? The modern man is a disgrace to the great men

that came before us. As harsh as this is, it is not entirely our fault. We were dealt

a bad hand. Allow me to list some of the unfortunate principles we grew

accustomed to in our developing years:

1. We were born in an age of relative peace.

2. We were born into an era of instantaneous gratification.

3. We were born into the comparative nature of social media.

4. We have been conditioned to place our con dence in something other than

ourselves and we lack respect in all capacities.

The Problem

The Problem

All of these factors have contributed to our failure as men. I, however, wish to

place special emphasis on number four. Con dence and respect. Most all of the

young men I talk with eventually admit to lacking a real inner assurance about

themselves, something I call young con dence. A lack of con dence precedes a

very slippery slope. Allow me to illustrate:

Loss of con dence -> loss of identity -> diminished passions -> broken

relationships -> failed social skills -> acceptance of alternative lifestyles (gangs/

drugs) -> eventual failed life.

Besides con dence, we nd that most young men also lack of respect. Just like

con dence through, a lack of respect comes just before a similar slippery slope. It

goes something like this: No respect for themselves > no respect for elders,

women, or children > acceptance of current state > settling for poor jobs and

poor lifestyles > failed communities > failed nation.

Add all of these issues together and we can derive a very simple equation that

predicts failure... or success.

(PURPOSE) + (PASSION) + (VISION) + (CONFIDENCE) + (RESPECT) =

GREATNESS

So, back to our larger issue. We are losing men, everyday, to a downward spiral

that follows a loss of con dence, respect, and any of the aforementioned

variables. This of course is very bad news. However, we, as a nation and as a

generation, do not have to accept the odds placed before us. We do not have to

live empty, hopeless lives and be known as the generation that failed. We can be

better. We can be great. I believe we will be the next “Greatest Generation”

The Problem

Who's the Man?

We've all heard this question before, “who is the man?”. The Pop-culture has

many de nitions for a man ranging from the super macho all the way the timid

nerd. So, what is a man really? The Oxford dictionary tells us that a man is “an

adult human male”. This is about as dry and hopeless as it gets. Strangely enough,

however, the fth de nition that Oxford gives is something like this “A person

with the qualities associated with males, such as bravery, spirit, or toughness”.

Big difference, huh? I'm certain that throughout our lives, we have all been told

how we should act and who we should be as a man.

Perhaps you've been under the impression that we are all free, oating

snow akes who can become whatever we want. The truth of the matter is,

however, that if you were born a male you were meant to be a man.

Understanding this at a fundamental level is the most important realisation of

your life. You are a man. Take a moment to let the fact sink-in. Now, let’s explore

that a little more to find who we really are and who we were designed to be.

Before we get too far, I should mention that we are in no way establishing that

men are superior to women. We have the utmost respect for women and their

speci c strengths, but wish to distinguish that we are more “separate and equal”

than we are just “equal”. For now, though, we are discussing men and only men.

Have you ever wondered why you naturally have larger muscles than girls, or

why you have more of a tendency to ght than your sister does? The answer is

simple, you are supposed to. Unfortunately, our educational systems have done a

fair job of extinguishing the ery inner spirit all young boys tend to have and

replaced it with a “sit in your seat and do your work” mentality.

Who's the Man?

Who's the Man?

At a young age, we are taught that being rowdy is bad and that ghting is

wrong under any circumstance. If too many young boys buy into this, we raise a

whole generation of would-be-men who approach everything with a non-violent,

passive mindset. This is where we fall apart. If no men stand for what is right, and

no men fight for what is true, we, as a generation and nation, will fade into a era of

darkness.

From another angle, let’s take a look at the younger interactions we had with

our female counterparts. Before you were told that girls don't need you to open

the door for them and that women don’t require their seat to be pulled out, did

you ever have the urge to actually make a nice gesture for a girl you had a crush

on? This isn’t an old faded-out tradition. Its real, and your younger self knew that

it was real. Unfortunately however, our “progressive” society has done its best to

extinguish the innate instincts we possess which cause us to pursue and care for

women.

Now, with those dismal images in mind let's take a moment to readdress the

question of man. Are we simply the male version of an adult human or are we a

full half of humanity, designed to be warriors, leaders, and lovers. I want each of

you to decide for yourself and to really take the time to address this issue. Your

life and the future of humanity depends on it. And, if you’ve never been told

before. “You are the MAN”.

Who's the Man?

Young Confidence

One of the greatest risk we will ever take is placing ourselves before our peers,

completely, as ourselves. By this, I mean allowing others to see us for who we

really are. Forcing ourselves into a revealing light demands that we intrinsically

inspect our core being, a fancy way to say we have to self-re ect. It is intimidating

and it is no small task. Regardless of how you feel, however, we are required to do

just that. How do we manage such a task? The answer lies in our past when we

were about 5. It is called young confidence

Remember when you were sure that if you could jump off the roof of your

house and ap your arms, you would y? The only reason you decided you

couldn't was because your mother or father told you so. This, of course, is a very

extreme example, but the concept is very clear. More recently, can you remember

how you felt on the first day back to school? Remember how nervous and lost you

felt until you found your friends again?

Now imagine how you would feel if you could not rely on your friends to bring

you company or status. Here is the connecting piece, we allow others to dictate

our assurance levels and decide how we really feel inside. Before we were told

we had limitations or that being alone is necessarily bad, we had the con dence

of Kings. Our aspirations were high and our determinations were set. So where

did it go, and how do we get it back?

Truthfully, it never left. We as men have just allowed it to be suppressed and

replace it with objective and external forms of pride. As we grew older, our minds

became more realistic and less accepting of our natural state. In order to rectify

the dis-equilibrium we looked for new ways to validate ourselves in the eyes of

others… never ourselves.

Some of the more common examples of validation include an attractive girl

standing next to us, our recent score in sports, our new brand-name clothing, or

how many dudes consider us a friend. Subtract all these things and we are left

with nothing to hide behind and nothing to rely on except ourselves. Gentlemen,

your young confidence must be enough.

Young Confidence

Young Confidence

Now that we know where it is, the task becomes regaining that which was

“lost”. Rediscovering your young con dence will take time and a consistent effort.

There can be no shortcuts to this, as it will only delay the full effects. To simplify

the process however, follow these simple steps on a daily basis.

1. Spend at least 30 minutes alone each day doing something productive

excluding school/ work related.

2. Engage in conversation with at least one person who is not in your friend

group

3. Look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud “I am con dent in my abilities

and aspirations”

4. Anytime you notice yourself becoming nervous about being alone; Stop,

remind yourself that you are con dent on your own, and count backwards

from 5. (This is a proven tactic to trick your brain into accepting a new

behavior)

Practice these 4 exercises each day for 1 week and then record in a journal

how your overall con dence has improved. Continue this process for at least 3

weeks and then reflect to see where you are in your journey.

Young Confidence

Looking for Passion

How do you feel when you rst wake up in the morning? What are the rst

thoughts that run through your mind? If all you can think about is how much you

hate the mornings and how comforting the bed looks, you’re probably lacking a

good dose of motivation. I know, not everyone is a morning person and not

everyone has to wake up with a smile on their face. But, if nothing excites to you

to get out of bed, you are missing out on one of the greatest gifts we have as

human beings - a sense of passion. If you feel like you have lost your re or that

you’ve never found it, start to practice these three exercises to gain some

perspective. After all, the only way to change your attitude is to inspire yourself.

1. Analyze others

Absolutely no one is born knowing what they are passionate about. If we were,

life would become mundane and likely boring. We are, however, born with two

eyes and ears gifting us the ability to perceive the world. This is how every great

man began, as a young boy watching and listening. If you allow yourself to resort

back to that younger state for a few moments, I think you will nd some passion.

The rst step is to write down 5 individuals whom you look up to. Please note

that you must be inspired by their lives in order for this to work.

The second step requires some deep thought. Under each name, write down

speci cally what you admire about that individual and what they do for work and

enjoy in their free-time. Now, the third step. Analyze. Take a close look at each

name with their associated characteristics and search for the connections

between each name. Once you nd some similarities, write these at the top of the

page. Give it all an honest effort, and the words at the top of the page are, or

relate to, your passions.

2. One week of Journaling

Looking for Passion

Looking for Passion

Journaling is never given enough credit. We could write an entire book on the

bene ts of recording your thought on a regular basis, but most of us guys aren’t a

fan. I get it. Journaling makes us look emotional and like we need “to just talk

about it”. Throw some tissues and perfume on it all and were basically girls…

Don’t buy it.

We as maturing young men need a way to better understand our desires and

needs. The best way? Get out a journal. Seriously, give yourself one full week of

journaling every day and then decide if it works or not. When you journal, make it

a point to record your overall feeling about the week, what excited you, what

annoyed you, and what you are continuing to think about. I would encourage you

to not simply think about your school day, but instead reach outside the

classroom and recount the activities before and after school. Oftentimes,

inspiration lies in the least likely places.

3. Read and Do, Everyday

I know that you have all been told, in some capacity, that reading is good for

you. It sounds simple and it is. Reading not only increases your learning capacity,

but also provides a sense of inspiration that is difficult to gain elsewhere. The fact

is that reading on a consistent basis has been shown, by research, to increase

levels of dopamine (the feel-good chemical in your brain) and stimulate the brain.

Combine them both, and you have a recipe for inspiration.

If you need some book recommendations, check out our reading lists here. The

other half of this exercise involves actually getting out of your regular routine

and try new activities. Of course, you may feel uncomfortable at rst. But, I can

promise that the more you try, the sooner you will run into your passions and the

sooner you will enjoy living. The key in this exercise is having a willing and open

attitude toward the new experiences. Never let yourself become stagnant.

Looking for Passion

Looking for Passion

No one will ever tell you what your passion is, just like no one can make you

excited about a new day. All of your inspiration must come from within and you

must learn to be intentional about nding it. The world doesn't owe you a happy

life and, as unfortunate as it may seem, your life is entirely up to you. Make it a

priority. Honestly, you cannot afford to put it off.

Looking for Passion

Finding Purpose

According to several studies that analyzed our generation (the Millennials), we

lack purpose. To paraphrase Simon Sinek, Millennials are searching for jobs and

careers in which they one, feel like they're making a difference and two, can

sustain a sense of purpose. Resultantly, Millennials are dif cult to motivate and

in time, end-up quitting their jobs. This in turn, causes its own problems and can

drive and economy downward. All of this can be prevented and remedied by

simply learning how to nd your “purpose”. The following 5 steps will give you a

head start on your journey.

1. Understand that you have value to offer

Each of us, regardless of what you believe, were given a set of gifts. Sometimes

these gifts are called talents or natural-skill. All of which, serve as a medium by

which we can add value. If you are someone who doesn’t believe they have any

gifts, take a moment to look back on your life and zero in on the moments when

you felt proud. Analyze that moment and nd what it was, speci cally, you were

doing that triggered your pride. Find that, and you’ve found your gift! Please note

that simply because you found your gift, this does not guarantee that you will be

the best. Let this serve as motivation to improve upon your talents daily. Do not

let this discourage you.

2. Look for places to use your talents

Once you’ve discovered what you have to offer the world, it’s time to get some

practice. One of the easiest ways to gain some eld work is to offer your talents

to others, free of charge. Offer to play your instrument for a church or begin

writing for a school or local newspaper. You should take every chance you have

to exercise your abilities and skills. This is one of the more important steps in the

process. The more you practice the use of your talents the more you will learn

about yourself. As a word of caution, however, I will urge you to play the long

game in this step. By this, I mean give yourself some time to struggle, fail, and

eventually succeed. This step can be very disheartening if you expect quick

results.

Finding Purpose

Finding Purpose

3. Ask the hard questionsAsk the hard questions

Probably the most avoided step in this process is taking moments to review

your progress and ask yourself the hard questions. Am I truly enjoying this? Am I

adding value to others? In what ways can this translate into a career? How can I

serve others better? All of these questions will take some time to answer so be

sure to carve out enough space in your week to review your progress. Honestly,

not every gift has the capacity to sustain you nancially. If this is the case,

consider taking a job which will allow you to sustain yourself while still allowing

time for you to improve your skill set.

4. Look for the opportunitiesLook for the opportunities

This is the step where you begin to see a larger picture. Once you have

discovered, practiced, and reviewed your gifts it’s time to look for your “Purpose”.

You purpose is found where your gifts meet hard-work and intersect

opportunity. While you are grinding away, improving what you do best, be on the

lookout for the subtle opportunities what will inevitably come your way. I’m not

suggesting that a million-dollar contract will fall in your lap, but I will promise that

if you look for opportunity around you as you continue to practice, you will find it.

5. Take risks and be open to changeTake risks and be open to change

Steps 1-4 can be performed perfectly and still result in a discouraged heart if

you do not implement the 5th and nal step. Once you begin discovering the

hidden opportunities around you, be bold enough to take the risks and give it

your best. Now, of course, life can and will happen. Situations and people will

change. This is where you must be open and accepting of the alterations and learn

to view them more as new opportunities than unfortunate setbacks. After all,

innovation and progress cannot happen without change.

Finding Purpose

Finding Purpose

I urge you all to take the time to walk through these steps and give the process

the time, energy and devotion it deserves. Honestly, you can’t afford to put this

off. Your life and our future depend on you taking action and being intentional

about nding our purpose. I will promise that the journey will not be easy, but I

know that none of us want it easy. We’re men after all.

Finding Purpose

Building a Vision

Every year, more and more men essentially give up on themselves. No, I do not

mean suicide, but rather a death of the soul. You see, all young boys create

aspirations for themselves as they’re growing up. This is only natural and so very

important to the development of every great man. Obviously, not every guy sticks

to the same plan. We deviate, adapt, and recreate. The Wright brothers didn’t

plan to be the rst men to y a powered aircraft by building one glider and

repeatedly jumping into the wind. They changed paths, scraped ideas, and

recreated until their vision - ying - was a reality. If you are struggling to create a

clear vision for yourself, take a moment to run yourself through these next 3

steps.

1. Know what you are passionate about

We’ve already talked about the importance of nding your passions. Once you

know what gets you excited, take some time to rst, write it down and second,

record at least three courses of action that you can take today. The courses of

action, or COA’s, need to be directly involving you passion and leveled in reality.

By this, I mean creating some short term goals surrounding your passions that

you can knock out of the park in a short amount of time. This step is the spark

that lights the small re of accomplishment, a necessary occurrence that propels

you into step two.

2. Creating a future you

I know I’ve mentioned the dopamine cycle before, but I think it’s worth

mentioning again. Every time you complete a task, nish a book, or concluded an

intense workout, your brain releases the dopamine drug. Similar to an addictive

substance, when you trigger the dopamine cycle in your brain craves another

shot and repeating the action becomes a much easier. That spark you lit in step

one is the rst dopamine cycle and will drive you to into developing a future

picture of your life.

Building a Vision

Building Vision

After the high you get from killing those short term goals you set for yourself,

your brain is primed for inspiration. Get out a pen and get excited because you’re

about to write down your future. Believe me, this is super motivating and will

pump you up, but don’t be afraid of coming off the high. Part of the process is

uctuating between reality and what reality could be. It’s in between the waves

where true inspiration is found.

3. Playing the long game.. To win

So, you have leveled some short term goals, injected the inspiration drug and

you're full of ideas and energy. Get ready, because here comes the marathon.

Think long-term. Every great man has created, and continues to create long term

goals. I know these can be a bit trick simply because we understand so little about

our future. The key here is to dive in head rst. Don’t go nuts trying to create the

next Bitcoin, but don't be afraid to stretch yourself a bit either. Generally, shoot

for both goals that seem attainable, and a few that scare you. By choosing COA’s

in this manner, you provide yourself with some realistic ideas while still feeding

your inspiration and motivation.

Give these 3 steps a go and allow the vision to form itself. As a word of caution,

do not become frustrated with yourself during the process. Failures and

disappointments will come, the way you handle them determines the type of man

you will become. Take control of your life and make it happen for yourself.

Building a Vision

Getting Serious

Nothing is more frustrating than someone not taking us seriously. Know what

I’m talking about? You know when you’re around some older men or a group of

unfamiliar guys and you try to add some value to the conversation? You speak

and they all look at you like you’re ve years old. You could have recited a section

from Plato’s Republic or MLK’s “I Have A Dream” speech and their reactions

would have been the same. Any idea why? Believe it or not, their reactions have

nothing to do with what you said and everything to do with how you carry

yourself as a man. Below are 5 easy steps you must master if you want to be

taken seriously.

1. Use an authoritative voice

This is a tricky one for some guys simply because they were not endowed by

their Creator with a bold demanding set of pipes. However, we all have the

capacity to be louder than we are on a normal basis. To make it easy, try to cough

a couple times. Notice how your chest and stomach tighten? That muscle is called

the diaphragm and is responsible for making you LOUD. Next time you want to

interject a comment, simply breathing in deeper and use your diaphragm to force

your words at your audience.

2. Dress like you mean business

This seems like a no-brainer for most of us. Unfortunately however, proper

attire is one of the most disregarded concepts among young men. Now, I’m not

going to tell you how to create an out t. If you want to learn that skill, check out

our style page HERE. Speci c clothing does not matter as much as the type of

clothes you wear. Stay away from super trendy items and avoid sloppy style such

as jeans with holes and t-shirts with distasteful images on them. Instead stick to

classic-looking styles and clean cut jeans and shirts. When in doubt, ask yourself

if James Bond or John Wayne would be cough in your outfit.

3. Use a Power Stance

Getting Serious

Getting Serious

This one is de nitely an acquired art. The power stance is simply the way in

which you stand in front of the group when you want some respect. All the big

CEO’s are masters of the power stance and use it strategically to make deals in

their favor. The Power Stance is performed by standing with your feet at least

shoulder width apart, you chest lightly pumped out, and your eyes slightly

narrower than you would have them normally. Then, roll your shoulders back and

either cross your arms or make a fist in one hand and grasp it with the other hand,

pinning them rmly at about stomach height. This is a Power Stance, use it

wisely.

4. Use strong eye-contact

I’m sure your parents or your teachers have told you over and over again how

important eye contact is. Truthfully, it is. However, there is a correct an incorrect

way to manage eye contact. Using “strong” eye-contact will help you drive home

your point while not appearing like a pigeon on acid. Strong eye-contact consists

of random moments of eye contact with an individual at the end of your main

points. You should make strong eye-contact about 10-15 percent of the time and

use the other 85-90 percent to scan your audience in a non-orderly fashion.

5. Make a vision of yourself

We've been over this already, but I want to be clear - making a vision for

yourself is not pretending to be someone else. This tactic is employed by almost

all successful men and remains one of the only ways we can become the best

version of ourselves. Making a vision for yourself involves imagining your own

person from an outside perspective, participating in life the way you would if you

had no personal constraints. The constraints I am referring to are of course

mental barriers such as a lack of con dence, courage, or discipline. The rst step

in overcoming them is to imagine yourself in a life without their presence. Once

you’ve done this several times, begin taking steps towards the idealized image

and before you know it, your vision becomes your reality.

Getting Serious

Getting Serious

And that’s it, gentlemen. The 5 easy steps to being taken seriously. Go and give

them your best shot, practice them everyday, and inspire others to do the same.

As a last piece of advice, remember, “If you want to be taken seriously, start

taking yourself seriously”.

Getting Serious

Earning Respect

Have you ever been frustrated with a teacher or parent because you felt they

were not “getting you”? Believe me, it is very normal and an important part of

your journey in becoming a man. Now, please understand that this is never an

excuse to disrespect your parents or an elder, but rather a lens for us to better

understand our newly acquired feelings. The whole “not getting me” feeling is

actually a spin off a very real and growing need as a young man. The feeling we

are actually craving is called respect, and we want it now. Unfortunately,

however, very little is ever given without rst earning it. Let us take a look at the

best ways you, as a young man, can earn respect.

1. Respect yourself

The rst and probably most important step in this process is learning how to

respect yourself. Many of you, I’m sure, were taught from an early age to respect

your parents and elders with very little emphasis is placed on respecting yourself.

In many ways, this concept goes back to learning how to be taken seriously. If you

want to be taken seriously, you must rst take yourself seriously. The same

applies to respect, if you want it from others you need to provide yourself with it

first.

Of course, your personal respect level can manifest itself in several different

ways. From deciding what to eat to choosing your out t for the day, almost every

action you take correlates to the amount of respect you have for yourself. The

easiest way to observe your personal respect level is to record how you spend a

normal day while documenting how you talk about yourself to others. Do you

regularly degrade yourself by saying “I’m an idiot” or “It’s just the way I am”? If so,

you need to immediately cut those statements out of you normal speech. This will

likely take some time and dedicated practice.

2. Have a clear vision

Earning Respect

Earning Respect

I understand that this step may be overused. Having a vision for yourself is a

concept that is repeated over and over in much of the self-help literature. For us,

however, the vision concept serves to provide a basis of understanding for who

we are and where we are going - not just a group of words to make you feel

better. If you have ever been in conversation with someone, asked what your

plans are, and your response was something like “I don’t know, college I guess”,

then you need to develop your own vision. I understand that plans change and

very few people stick to the same course they set when they were twelve, but

there is great value in setting speci c goals early in life. People respond to young

men who know what they want and how they are going to get there. They will

respect you.

3. Never complain

Be honest, no one likes a complainer. It is a sad way to live and accomplishes,

well, nothing. As bad as complaining is, more and more young men are adopting

this negative attitude and becoming cynical toward every aspect of life. If this is

you, try a little exercise called thankfulness. Everyday write down one new thing

you are thankful for and think about it throughout the day. You will be surprised

the difference you see in your world. When others begin to notice your attitude,

their respect levels skyrocket. They being to see you as a young man who is

mature enough to realise what he has been given and how fortunate he is. Some

people call this “being the change you want to see”, I call it being a man and not a

child.

4. Mean what you say

The old saying goes, “mean what you say, and say what you mean”. Never

before have men failed so miserably at this. Everyday, more and more men are

cascading down into the majority-pool of individuals who have no backbone and

refuse to take a stance on any large issues. In many ways this turns into

complacency which continues into apathy - very problematic. You never hear of

any great men or leaders who consistently changed their minds on important

issues... because there aren’t any.

Earning Respect

Earning Respect

People respect those who make informative decisions, then double-down and

act on those decisions. If you struggle with making decisions, the best way to

improve is to practice. Begin your day by making a plan, then consistently follow

through with the tasks. Repeat this for a few weeks and your brain will rewire

itself and begin following your lead instead of opposing it.

5. When you speak, make it count

I’m sure you all know the dudes who one, feel the need to talk non-stop and

two, have no lter for their words or thoughts. Pretty annoying right? Well, in

many cases, these guys have been us before. We lose large amounts of respect

when we allow it. When in a conversation, especially one with more mature

people, the best course of action is generally that of caution. Gauge the group for

a moment and decide how serious the dialogue is, then listen and practice the 80-

20 rule.

Offer you input 20 percent of the time while allowing others to speak for the

remaining 80 percent of the conversation. Research shows that the less you

speak the more people are willing to pay attention when you do. When that

attention does fall on you, be prepared with some words that are valuable and

focused. Like most everything we have discussed, this also takes some practice.

Your parents are a great group to being practicing on, but for more eld

experience, engage your teachers at school.

I understand that respect is hard to give and sometimes even harder to gain.

The key in all of this, lies in our willingness to be coached and determination to

grow and learn. Strive to be better than you were the day before and continue to

work toward your vision. Make time to practice these steps every day and respect

will follow. I already respect you.

Earning Respect

Everyday Leadership

Whether or not you want to accept it, you are a leader. You were designed to

lead, gifted from birth, and chosen as an individual. Now, before we get too far, I

want to assure you all that women can be, and de nitely are, excellent leaders.

However, ladies are not the focus here at Gentleman’s Look.. the guys are. With

that out of the way, let’s dive on in. Why are you a leader? The simple answer is

“that’s the way you were made”.. The desire to lead is an important part of our

DNA as males and honestly, we can’t really help it. Take a look at the biology. Our

general, larger stature and larger muscle mass only make sense if we were

designed to protect our females and children from harm. And, as I’m sure you all

know, the act of protection often correlates with the act of leadership.

If you need help understanding, take a moment to think about the presidency.

The President of the United States is responsible for leading the country as the

Chief Executive while also protecting the people as the Commander in Chief of

the Military. Getting the picture now? While we are not governing a nation, we

can still implement these next 5 actions to practice our gifted nature and help us

grown into the leaders we are designed to be.

1. Discipline Yourself

Maybe you’re thinking that self-discipline seems like an entirely different topic

for discussion, and you would be right. Discipline is one of the key elements of

being a man that often goes unspoken - partly because there is a lot to cover and

partly because the element itself is no small task. Disciplining yourself involves a

dedicated effort to constantly improving while forcing yourself to “do the hard

things”. It doesn’t sound great because it’s not. However, if you are truly

committed to entering manhood and ful lling your role as a leader, discipline is a

must.

Everyday Leadership

Everyday Leadership

Our nation is in desperate need of committed young men who have a backbone

and are preparing to lead. That kind of calling can only be ful lled by those who

are developing themselves to be disciplined leaders - men who take charge and

are willing “do the hard things”. If you want to learn more about how to be self-

Disciplined, check out The Art of Self-Discipline Course on our website.

2. Make Decisions for Yourself

Here is the part that requires you to really grow up. Making decisions on your

own. Now, of course you should honor your parents - especially if you still live

under them. But, it’s time for you to start making some impactful choices without

your Mom telling you what to do. Some ideas to consider might be deciding how

you want to spend your weekend (given that you’re not planning to party the

whole time), deciding on the colleges that you most want to pursue, or simply

deciding to clean your room or dorm when it gets dirty. The more you practice

making decisions like these, the more your self-discipline strengthens and the

easier it becomes to lead yourself in a mature manner.

3. Take Responsibility

I know that many of us have heard that great leaders take responsibility for

both the good and the bad. In practice, taking full responsibility is no small order.

Leaders fail at this all of the time and, in all likelihood, they failed because they

never practiced taking responsibility in their personal lives. Do not let this be you.

Everyday of your life, make a point to carefully review the events that took place

with the intent to nd where you were responsible. If there was a moment in

which you were at fault for a poor outcome, address the individuals involved and

claim ownership of the failing. Not only will you earn their respect, but you will

also inspire the others to help you x the issue instead of spending hours casting

blame. If you are not willing to take responsibility for your actions you are not

prepared to lead yourself or others.

Everyday Leadership

Everyday Leadership

4. Learn to Care for Others

A clever little saying goes “people don’t care how much you know until they

know how much you care”. While it may sound a little soft, there is still a lot of

truth to be gained here. All too often, we become so focused on our goals and

ambitions that we we forget about our fellow man. One of the largest pillars of

true leadership involves taking a genuine interest in those you are leading. I’m not

suggesting that we need to befriend everyone we come in contact with. I am

suggesting that we make a point to engage those around us, asking them how

they are doing, and honestly offer our assistance.

As a word of caution, never pretend to care about someone whom you do not.

Humans were endowed by their Creator with strong dose of common-sense and

easily pick-up on insincerity. If you do not practice this you will lose all credibility

as a leader and a man, and you will have a hard time recovering your lost

reputation. Care for others. Life is a team sport and we’re all on the side of living.

5. Create a Strong Vision for the Group

One of the most common threads among successful leaders involves making a

clear vision for your team or organization. A strong vision provides a future

picture or idealized reality for which the group can work towards achieving. Steve

Jobs, Martin Luther King Jr., and Elon Musk all built a vision that propelled their

company or movement forward. Want to know how they did it? They practiced…

on themselves. You see, all successful leadership stems from rst mastering the

ability to lead oneself. Once you are rmly set in the vision you have for yourself,

you can begin to establish visions as a leader.

You are all leaders, whether you believe it or not. It’s a natural gift, but it will,

like so many before you, continue to go unused if you do not begin developing it

now. The actions you take today will determine the success or failure of your

tomorrow. Make every moment count, and please, take this seriously. We are

depending on you.

Everyday Leadership

Self-Discipline: The Art

Discipline. The hallmark of a young man who is prepared to grab life by the

throat. This is not the kind of discipline your Dad demonstrated when you talked

back, but the type all great men possess - self discipline. Self discipline involves

controlling your emotions, diligently working towards your goals, and resisting

the inherit temptations all young men face. It’s de nition sounds like it sucks, and

to a degree it might. Most everyone who practices self discipline will often deny

themselves many immediate pleasures. They do this, however, so they can build a

better life for themselves in the future - they Think Big. Unfortunately, like most

things, we have to work very hard to develop such an admired trait. So how do we

get there? We begin practicing the Art of Self-Discipline.

1. Making the Decision

“Making the decision” is all about getting you started. The initial moments of

practicing discipline are always the hardest. You know how you just can’t start

that research paper for class? It’s so tough because you have conditioned

yourself to be indecisive and avoid responsibility for a long as possible. And,

when you do nally start the paper, its out of fear because you know it’s due in

the morning. The same idea applies to grown adults in the workplace as they sit in

their cubicle, twiddle their thumbs, and wait for the lunch break. You life will

continue to be a replay of the same concept for the rest of your existence unless

you make the decision. The decision to no longer accept a lazy attitude and a

decision to begin practicing self discipline immediately.

2. Adopting Structure

The minute you decide to begin, the race is on and everything is competing with

you and grappling your time. All of a sudden, the television is playing your

favorite show, the newest version of Madden drops, and all of your friends are

planning to go out. Temptation quickly rises and you are left defenseless… unless

you adopt some structure.

Self-Discipline: The Art

Self-Discipline: The Art

I’m not saying that you need to join the military, but you should at least nd a

way to block of your time and format your day. This can be as simple as writing

down the tasks you intend to accomplish and a time frame in which to complete

them. The rigidity of a schedule or planner provides you guard rails that will keep

you on track when the inevitable temptations come. Your time is the most

valuable asset in your possession, and you only have a fixed amount available.

3. Learning to Say “No”

Unfortunately, your planner will not be powerful enough to guard you against

every temptation and distraction. You will have to learn to simply say “no”.

Learning to deny a temptation or distraction is very similar to the rst principle of

“making the decision”, the initial action is always the hardest. The good news, is

that the more you practice, the easier it becomes. This is just like working out.

Give a consistent and determined effort and you will experience results. Your

decision making muscle (aka your brain) will begin to more easily accept the

concept of "no" and will instead, actually start to produce dopamine when you

succeed. In other words, you’ll feel a lot better about yourself.

The art of self-discipline has been around for centuries and practiced by all

great men we read about today. Discipline must be practiced and mastered if you

are looking to be taken seriously and truly want to be successful. Install these 3

principles into your life, and watch the magic happen. You will be impressed with

your accomplishments and how you feel.

Gentleman's Look

Where to Find More

Continue your JourneyGentleman's Look is designed to build and equip young men for

manhood. For more information check out our website and

recently developed courses.

Learn more

The Art of Self-Discipline CourseThe Art of Self-Discipline Course

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