THE CRAZYNERDS:

For A Fistful Of Dollars

Part I

By

Written by:

C.P. Kemabia & Chris Lyttle.

Based on:

THE CRAZYNERDS_created by C.P.Kemabia

All rights reserved @2013

INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY #1 - DAY

It’s a free period. PAUL LENORE (11), JONATHAN BAXTER (12)

and ADRIEN DESKENE (11), while stowing their books in their

respective lockers, are having a small chitchat time.

JONATHAN

(Annoyed)

Man, we’ve been cramped up in this

school for like 10 periods now. And

yet, we have a two-hour literature

class coming up. I mean...Really

what kind of schedule is that?

PAUL

That’s more class I’ve ever seen

you attend in a day.

JONATHAN

Well, trust me, if I had somewhere

else to go at this time of the day,

I would.

(Cooling off.)

Oh God. I’m hopeless.

ADRIEN

There’s plenty of places to go

during the day? Homeless people got

it figured out. Why, don’t you go

find out what they’re doing since

you hate school so much?

JONATHAN

(Aggravated/Serious)

I don’t think you realize the

gravity and the seriousness in my

situation. My grandma is onto me

about ditching school all the time.

Now, I can’t go home before seven

without her getting suspicious. I

lost my fake ID so I can’t go to

the Strip Club for happy hour

lunch. The theater will be

screening a faggy movie this

afternoon. And on top of that, I

can’t even go to the park because

of the Little Creepers. I think

they want to beat me up for what I

pulled on them a while back.

PAUL

(Skewing his eyes up)

What? You screwed over the Little

Creepers?

2.

ADRIEN

(To Jonathan)

Sometimes, you’re so full of shit,

my friend.

JONATHAN

Whatever. It was as not that bad as

it sounds anyway. But still, I’m

stuck with you guys for the next

couple hours.

At the same time, ALICIA PRESCOTT getting across the same

hallway, corrects him.

ALICIA

Make it three hours. We’re a

chapter behind on a school program.

JONATHAN

(pissed)

MOTHERFUCKER! This can’t be

happening. This CAN’T BE

HAPPENING!!!

JONATHAN slams his locker and walks away with anger in

display. PAUL catches up with ALICIA and starts an

indistinct conversation. ADRIEN sees IRVY DELAWARE (11) as

she discusses with SYLVIE CAPPUCINE (11) down the hallway.

His heartbeat’s speeding up at the sight of IRVY DELAWARE,

his lifelong love interest.

ADRIEN decides to go and have a talk with her. Walking up to

their levels, he overhears fragments of conversation.

INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY #2 - DAY

SYLVIE

(Horrified)

This is... this is bad. This is

really bad!

IRVY

(Alarmed)

Okay. You don’t have to remind me.

I know it’s bad.

SYLVIE

What the hell were you thinking,

IRVY? You could’ve gotten hurt, or

killed someone by wrecking your

parent’s car!

3.

INSERT CUT: ADRIEN SLIDES UNNOTICED ALONG A NEARBY WALL AND

PRICKS UP HIS EARS.

IRVY

I know. But they’re out of town.

And the car was just sitting there.

It was too tempting.

SYLVIE

Right. Look where that got you.

IRVY

That’s great. You way too sound

like my mother. Why don’t you

suggest something helpful, instead

of playing the moral queen high

atop of her pedestal, judging all

the people like me!

SYLVIE

Look, I’m not judging you. You just

need to figure out what you’re

going to do.

IRVY

The worst would be to have the

insurance company involved in all

this.

SYLVIE

Why not?

IRVY

Because they’re sticklers for

rules; and any expenses they cover

is gonna come back on my parents if

they find out it was me.

SYLVIE

Oh, dear! I don’t see a way out of

this.

IRVY

There is one. I have to come up

with the cash and to pay for the

repairs myself.

SYLVIE

(Relieved.)

It’s settled, then. You just might

get away from this after all.

A beat of a nervous silence hangs in the air.

4.

SYLVIE

Come on, what’s the punchline?

IRVY

(Confused)

The what?

SYLVIE

How much is the repair going to

cost you?

IRVY

One thousand dollars.

INSERT CUT: ADRIEN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN DISBELIEF AT THE

HEARING OF A THOUSAND DOLLARS.

SYLVIE

Okay... Now, you’re shit out of

luck!

IRVY

Yeah. I know but I talked to a

mechanic anyway. He can fix the car

before my parents get back if he

has the money by tomorrow.

SYLVIE

But how in hell...

The girls are interrupted with the arrival of PAKHUR SALEM

(11). He’s holding a class book.

PAKHUR

Hi guys...

(Addressing IRVY)

Hey IRVY, you’re still on for

studying together after school,

rite?

IRVY

(Embarrassed)

Oh, shoot!I’m sorry PAKHUR, but the

timing is not good .

PAKHUR

(Whining)

Come on! Pleaaaaazzzz, IRVY. You

gotta help me. The final exam is

coming up soon and I really need to

get my grades up. Seriously, my

future depends on it.

5.

IRVY

I’m sorry but I can’t help. You

see, I have this big fat money

problem that needs a quick

resolution or else, I’m gonna have

what’s coming to me.

PAKHUR

Hum? What...what is going on?

IRVY

Long story short, I have a

thousand-dollar car repair bill to

pay by tomorrow. And I don’t have a

clue to where to get that kind of

cash on such short terms.

PAKHUR

What happens if you don’t meet the

deadline?

IRVY

Oh boy, I’d rather not think about

it.

SYLVIE’s eyes catch the golden lettering of the Book’s title

which PAKHUR holds in his lefthand: THE MONEY MAKER’s

JOURNEY.

INSERT - POINT OF VIEW SHOT - A CLOSE UP OF THE BOOK FRONT

COVER.

SYLVIE

That "get rich quick" manual you’re

holding there wouldn’t by any

chance have a plan to get her out

of this mess, would it?

PAKHUR

(Holding the book up to his

nose for a self-consideration)

Hum... I’m just halfway through it.

But yeah, it helps one develop a

mind frame for leadership and

success, which I’m out of practice.

SYLVIE

Heck.

Despair heavily accentuates on IRVY cheerhless face. PAKHUR

spots the accentuation.

6.

PAKHUR

(Back to IRVY)

So, you’re in deep trouble, huh.

IRVY

Big time.

An idea crosses PAKHUR’s mind. He buys it. But somewhat

undecided.

PAKHUR

Alrite...Alrite..Okay. Hum, just

gimme some couple hours and I’ll

come up with something, alrite?

IRVY

Alright.

PAKHUR

I gotta go now. I talk to you guys

soon.

PAKHUR breaks away from the girls and bows out.

SYLVIE

Don’t lose hope IRVY. I’m gonna get

the girls together so we can

formulate some ideas of our own.

SYLVIE walks out the frame. At the same time, ADRIEN ready

himself to being at his best look and then, comes into play.

IRVY abruptly frowns to his coming as if trouble was coming

to her.

IRVY

(Mumbling, upset)

Oh,no!

ADRIEN

Heh heh. Oh yeah.

IRVY

What do you want?

ADRIEN

(Smart-ass)

I couldn’t help but overhear what

you were speaking of earlier and I

couldn’t help but become

overwhelmed with a heartfelt

concern.

7.

IRVY

Oh so what? Now you eavesdrop on

other people’s conversation and

offer your two cents? please...

ADRIEN

(Smiling obediently)

Oh... Actually, I just wanted you

to know, if there’s anything,

anything at all, that I can do to

help, command and you’ll see my

hands set to task.

IRVY

(Sarcastically)

Unless you’re gifted with your

hands about materializing a grand

right now, they’re of no use to me,

and so are you. So peace out.

With her patience wearing thin, IRVY dumps ADRIEN in the

hallway and treads slowly on to her classroom.

ADRIEN blinks with amusement as though the rejection is

anywhere near shaking down his self-confidence.

He knows love doesn’t come easy.

INT. ADRIEN BEDROOM - SAME AFTERNOON.

ADRIEN is holding a last-minute crisis meeting with JONATHAN

and PAUL.

ADRIEN

Thanks for coming guys.

JONATHAN

I still don’t get why you had us

bring our moneyboxes.

ADRIEN

I’ll get to the point: IRVY’s in a

deep mess.

PAUL

How deep?

ADRIEN

Very deep. I wouldn’t have called

this meeting otherwise.

8.

JONATHAN

(Scoffing)

Great.

At the same time, the SOUND of a small four-legged creature

landing on a hard platform discontinues the conversation.

The pet MEOWS.

All eyes drift off to the only window of the bedroom. It’s

open.

INSERT CUT: OUTSIDE, A SHORT-COATED ALLEY CAT, WEARING A

COLLAR AROUND THE NECK, PROWLS UPON THE WINDOW LEDGE. THE

CAT TENDS TOWARD ENTERING.

PAUL

Oh, you have a cat now?

ADRIEN moves to the open window.

ADRIEN

(Closing the window to keep

the cat out)

Nope. Probably the neighbor’s

As ADRIEN moves back to where he was in the first place, the

camera closes up on the cat kept outside.

ADRIEN (V.O)(CONTD)

Where was I? Right. IRVY recently

made a mistake and now, it’s

getting right back at her.

The closeup stops when a surveillance device, a kind of

chip-size toy speaker microphone, is revealed to be clipped

sideways to the collar.

INTER-CUT:

EXT. STREET _ PARK BENCHES - AFTERNOON

INSERT SHOT: P.O.V. (POINT OF VIEW SHOT)- THROUGH

BINOCULARS, WE HAVE A ZOOMED-IN VIEW OF THE PERCHED CAT.

HAROLD HOFFMAN

How’s the cat doing?

The voyeur, HORACE HOFFMAN (11), cuts eye contact with the

animal and moves close to... HAROLD HOFFMAN (11), his evil

twin-brother and mischievous partner in "crime".

9.

HORACE HOFFMAN

He’s in position.

The whole time, feeds of a recorded conversation transpire

in the background.

ADRIEN (V.O)(CONTD)

And to keep it away, to make it

disappear for good it’s gonna take

money. Lots of money.

Sitting on a park bench, the twin brothers, geared up with a

recreational kid radio transceiver and a high-end laptop,

covertly monitor ADRIEN’s conversation.

HAROLD HOFFMAN

(Smiling naughtily)

Now, I’m sure you’re glad I talked

you into following those fuckers

around.

HORACE HOFFMAN lets hear A MEAN LAUGH while the transceiver

keeps spitting out distorted but recognizable voices:

PAUL (V.O.)

How much money exactly?

ADRIEN (V.O)

A thousand dollars.

HORACE HOFFMAN

Yes. And I’m gonna enjoy this.

ADRIEN (V.O)(CONTD)

But we must act quickly. Meaning

before tomorrow comes up to

maintain the cover-up.

BACK TO:

INT. ADRIEN BEDROOM - AFTERNOON.

JONATHAN

We?

ADRIEN

(Emotions overflowing)

Yes. God only knows what might

happen if her parents ever find

out. She could be grounded forever.

And I, I won’t see her again.

10.

JONATHAN

Wait a minute. What are you talking

about?

ADRIEN

(Agitated)

No! I won’t let that happen, you

understand! I WON’T LET THAT

HAPPEN.

PAUL

(Settling him down)

Okay, okay. So, what do we do?

ADRIEN

The idea is to pool our savings and

then brainstorm to supplement the

difference. This is a top priority

mission, guys. The utmost yet. Any

questions?

PAUL

(To ADRIEN)

Let me get this straight. You are

asking me to give away my

hard-earned four-year savings which

I was going to use for

post-apocalypse survival gear, so

your precious girlfriend won’t be

under house arrest over a bad

blunder she’s accountable for?

A beat of silence.

ADRIEN

Yes.

JONATHAN

As a reminder, IRVY’s not your

girlfriend. For all I know, she

doesn’t even care about you.

ADRIEN

Well, you should know better. Now,

she’s just unresponsive to my

affection, but that’s okay. Because

one day, I’ll get her to like me.

JONATHAN

So you say.

11.

ADRIEN

You guys still need convincing, I

get it. But desperate times call

for desperate measures. And you all

know how much she means the world

to me. So the question is: are you

with me?

ADRIEN makes his point of looking at JONATHAN and PAUL in

the eye.

JONATHAN

Of course I won’t let you down.

PAUL

I’m in.

ADRIEN

Cool. Now it’s all sorted out,

let’s see what we’ve got.

Both JONATHAN and PAUL empty their moneyboxes, unfolding a

small mount of coins.

ADRIEN

(To PAUL)

So, that’s it? You saved only 15

bucks in four years?

PAUL

Well, the world won’t end for

another what... fifty years to say

the least. I have plenty of time to

accumulate my funds.

JONATHAN

Wrong. The Mayas predicted it for

2012.

PAUL

The who?

JONATHAN

The Mayas. Haven’t you seen the

movie?

PAUL tilts his head in disbelief at the question.

JONATHAN

If it’s any consolation, no

survival gear you would’ve wasted

your money on is going to prevent

you from going to hell.

12.

ADRIEN is done counting each provisions.

ADRIEN

(To all)

All in all, with each of your

savings added to mine...

(ADRIEN pulls a red pig-shaped

thrift box and get it emptied)

...we end up with...

(ADRIEN does the math using a

calculator)

43 dollars and change.

JONATHAN

Well, we’re far from being close.

INTER-CUT:

EXT. STREET _ PARK BENCHES - SAME TIME

While HORACE monitors the conversation, HAROLD is busy with

the laptop.

JONATHAN (V.O.)(CONTD)

How are we gonna get a hold of 957

dollars?

PAUL (V.O.)

If only we had a clue.

INSERT SHOT: (P.O.V.) THE LAPTOP SCREEN DISPLAYS A WEB PAGE.

ONLY A "SEND EMAIL" REQUEST IS GLIMPSED ACROSS THE PAGE. THE

MOUSE CURSOR MOVES ON TO A "YES" BUTTON.

HAROLD HOFFMAN

Hmm... How about this?

HAROLD CLICKS on the button.

BACK TO:

INT. ADRIEN BEDROOM - SAME TIME.

An EMAIL ALARM echoes across the bedroom.

PAUL

(To ADRIEN)

Eh, sounds like you just got an

email.

ADRIEN proceeds to check his email box on his desktop.

13.

ADRIEN

Guys, check this out.

INSERT SHOT: THE SCREEN DISPLAYS A PAPER HEADLINED: "A

LUXURIOUS BURIAL". IT ALSO READS: "EVEN FOLLOWING HIS RECENT

PASSING, BILLIONAIRE MR. POWELL STILL MANAGES TO MAKE A BIG

FUSS ABOUT HIM FROM THE AFTER-LIFE."

IN THE ARTICLE BODY, BOTH AN ELDERLY MAN’S HEADSHOT AND A

FANCY COFFIN CASE PHOTO JUMP OUT.

ADRIEN (V.O)(CONTD)

According to this article, this man

has bought a way too costly coffin

to be buried in.

JONATHAN

That’s one way to carry your

fortune to your grave.

PAUL

Who sent the email?

ADRIEN

Oh, it’s just a spam.

Suddenly ADRIEN is struck by an idea. He smiles at his

friends.

ADRIEN

(Excited.)

Guys, I think I’ve got an idea.

JONATHAN

Oh God. I have a bad feeling about

this.

ADRIEN

(Pointing at the desktop

screen)

Look. The answer’s here, right

under the nose.

The Bedroom door opens, letting GEORGES(6), ADRIEN’s kid

brother, in.

GEORGES

(To PAUL and JONATHAN)

Hey fellas.

(To ADRIEN)

ADRIEN, have you seen my red piggy

bank?

14.

Both PAUL and JONATHAN look ADRIEN out of the corner of

their eyes.

DISSOLVE TO BLACK.