The Charity Committee 2013

7/23/2019 The Charity Committee 2013

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I pulled away in my motor, leaving Delroy standing with

his prick in his hands, and me with a few hundred grand in the

boot, knowing I had to act fast before the shit hit the fan, and

that there were still some loose ends that needed to be tied up.

Over the previous years I had consolidated mine and

Longshanks' Soho properties into various offshore shell companies,

run through a mindboggling web of fake frontmen, bent briefs and

hookey accountants. !here were also numerous freeholds we owned

around the "anning !own area, which although didn't bring in much

in the way of revenue, had longterm investment potential.

I had made up my mind that I could afford to swallow the

#ast #nd stuff and leave it to Longshanks but considered Soho to

be mine. !here were also some other bits and pieces in $righton

that needed attention, before I got on a plane and fucked off to

%merica, in order to get my shattered nut back to some semblance

of normality.

Luckily I had been prudent enough to keep my $righton

bolthole &uiet to all but a close few pals, so I gunned my motor

towards the coast with my head buing like a hornets nest. (irst

thing I suspected was that I probably wouldn't make it past the

cashsniffing drug dogs at )eathrow or *S "ustoms carrying a

suitcase full of shitstinky crooked dough, so I belled celebrity

Soho tailor, +ark 'owelly' owell, who had in the previous month

laundered a hundred grand for me and Longshanks through his -est

#nd shop. owelly had been gifted fifteen grand on top for the bit

Copyright Horace Silver 2013. All rights reserved


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of graft and was ust waiting for the sayso on what to do ne/t.

-hen he answered the blower I told him to ask no &uestions but to

go straight down to the %merican #/press building on 0egent Street

and purchase a hundred grand's worth of *S Dollar travellers

che&ues via their e/press pick up system.

I then drove down to a storage warehouse ust off the %12

near )aywards )eath and rented a small unit, pulled out about ten

grand in cash from the drug fuck, stashed the balance in the unit,

then fucked off down to $righton, where I packed a small suitcase

full of clobber, pulled three different passports from my wall

safe, donated all my furniture and spare clobber to another pal,

then fucked off up to London, where I booked into a hotel ust

down by icadilly "ircus.

I reckoned it would be a day before Longshanks got proper

on my trail but I wasn't sure because I didn't know what Delroy's

story would have been once he went back to him emptyhanded and

without me. I also doubleguessed Longshanks may have tortured him

or even topped him, and to be truthful at the time I couldn't have

given a rat's arse but I still knew I had to work &uickly. Later

that afternoon I hooked up with owelly while also getting a

message out to a man called 3ary O/ley to meet me straightaway.

3ary 'Little !ich' O/ley had been my righthand man in

Soho for a few years. -hen I first met him in the early eighties,

he weren't much more than a heavilytattooed former football thug

with a taste for stabbing rival fans up their sphincters with



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garlicdipped knives, and also pulling his strides down and waving

his bollocks about when pissed. %nd even though I knew you

couldn't polish a turd I tried to help him get his act together.

%s I worked my way up Soho's criminal ladder I gave Little

!ich the ob of collecting rents and debts and generally minding

off the gaffs me and different Soho firms took over. )e did a

pretty good ob with only the occasional tug for slashing donuts

across their mooeys when there was no need for violence.

I also had to sort him out on the sartorial front as at

that time he was strolling about in sheepskin ackets and sporting

a crafty combover on the barnet front. %fter pointing out to him

that the secondhand south London car dealer look weren't cutting

it in the -est #nd, I sent him to the barbers for a number one

shave, after which I took him round to owelly's tailor shop,

where he had a little bo/suit knocked up, complete with bum

freeer acket and a pork pie hat. 4ow the only problem was he

was a deadringer for %le/i Sayle, but it was a step in the right

direction and gave us a chance to shout at him '*llo, 5ohn6 3otta

4ew +otor' which used to give him the right fucking ig.

Little !ich had often pulled me to one side through the

years saying he wanted to be made a partner. )is chance had

arrived. -e met up in the bar of the hotel where I was staying,

and over a bottle of bubbly I told him that not only was I sick of

Longshanks' pointless violence and paranoia but that he'd also

fucked me over with a large amount of dough in order to buy the



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#sse/ mansion he was now living in. I then offered Little !ich an

e&ual share of all Soho revenues, telling him all he had to do was

keep a low profile when I fucked off to %merica for a while, carry

on collecting the rents until the storm blew over, and wait until

Longshanks turned his greedy aundiced eyes back to the skanky

shithole of "anning !own, where he first crawled out of.

Little !ich almost bit my hand off, telling me he would

recruit his brother (at %ndy, along with some of his old pals who

used to graft with old time London gangster 5oey yle, a former

associate of the 7ray !wins. Satisfied with Little !ich's

affirmation of loyalty I took him to my -est #nd lock up which

held all the paperwork for the Soho properties and some others

besides. %fter further briefing him fully and instructing him

clearly not to go on any meets whatsoever with Longshanks, I met

up with owelly and together we went to the %merican #/press

building, where I picked up the *S dollar travellers che&ues,

signed them and stuffed them into a money belt.

I then booked a first class ticket on an early morning

flight to San (rancisco and waited until it got dark before

driving back down to $righton. Once there I destroyed a small

nightclub belonging to me and Longshanks that sat right on

$righton beach itself. !hen I went to another building we owned in

another part of the same town which contained a )ardcore porn

cinema on the ground floor and a knocking shop upstairs. I then

fucked that building up as well, along with another couple of



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buildings before having it on my toes to a five star hotel ne/t to

)eathrow, where I booked a room and proceeded to get fucking

hammered while toasting the first steps of a new ourney.

%fter a first class 8irgin %tlantic flight I breeed

through *S "ustoms with no problems, although I had to fight hard

to keep myself together, what with all the grief still churning up

the cogs in my still gangsterfucked brain. I had rightly shafted

one of the heaviest gangsters in #ngland but me feeling ustified

didn't matter as I knew there would be some severe fucking

ructions going on back in $lighty. I was also very concerned about

Longshanks using his I0% connections to try and hunt me down

whilst in the States.

%s soon as I left San (rancisco airport I rented a

nondescript motor and hit the road, ust as the sun was going

down, trying to work out how I was going to cash over one hundred

and si/ty thousand *S Dollars worth of travellers che&ues, without

drawing suspicion from the (ederal authorities, or some fucking

addy hellhound who could be on my trail. It hit me straightaway.

Sin "ity6 !he sort of dough I was carrying was fuckall to that

gaff, so I put the pedal to the floor of my motor and hit the

interstate, making it to Las 8egas in about ten hours.

Once there I booked into a pucker hotel on the Strip,

shitted and showered, put on a class whistle and set about going

into the casinos to cash the paperwork. 4ot wanting to draw too

much attention to myself I done the lot over four or five days



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with not a single plucked and shaped eyebrow raised. 4ow there was

another problem. I was sitting on a shitload of readies which I

couldn't afford to lose, so on about the fifth day I strolled into

a local -ells (argo bank, opened up a safe deposit bo/ and spent

the ne/t week or so going in and out of it to top up the bo/.

It then began to slowly dawn on me that I had made it out

of the hellhole that my life had sunk to since becoming partners

with Longshanks. +y body began to finally unwind with all the

heartache and grief began seeping from my body and brain like pus

from a boil. I booked myself into another hotel, one with a top

floor suite, pulled open the floortoceiling glass doors, and

under the starry desert night cried like a baby, as I sucked in

the cool crisp air while looking out over the city's buing neon.

(or the ne/t few days I hit the craps tables, bars and brasses,

and began to kick back and have a fucking blast. It felt like

being reborn and given another chance at life. If I have to be

honest I was never really in the criminal game for the dough, it

was the bu of committing crimes that was the turn on.

On further reflection I felt nothing but revulsion for the

fucking animal that was my e/ partner, alongside his

embarrassingly gaudy mansion with its revolting marble floors,

7ing !ut d9cor and badly maintained lawns, all of which had been

purchased with the dough of his supposed best friend. :ou can

spend as much as you like Longshanks but you can't buy class. :ou

truly are #sse/ royalty. % scampiinabasket slag6



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lus the delusional cunt thought that his mansion was the

total bollocks, whereas we used to take the piss out of him behind

his back by calling him 5ed "lampett and whistling the theme tune

from !he $everly )illbillies whenever we drove up to him on a

meet. !he slippery cunt knew he was doing a wrong 'un when he

bought it, that's why he never told any of his firm about it till

the deal went through.

I remember going over there when he first moved in and he

had the electricity meter wired so he wouldn't have to pay the

heating bill for the indoor swimming pool. (ucking freeing in the

winter the gaff was as well. %nd because the clueless cunt had no

ensuite bathrooms in any of the bedrooms we used to ust piss in

the vanity sinks whenever we stayed there. %nd the first time he

came round to my Docklands pad and saw my bidet he thought it was

for birds to wash their 5ack and Dannys in.

Longshanks also fancied himself a bit of an interior

designer, although every gaff he put his touch to ended up looking

like inside of a gypsy caravan, even going so far as sticking

plastic covers on the D(S sofas. )is new gaff soon ac&uired the

moniker of the ikey alace. !hink Donald !rump meets 7eith Lemon

after a bad acid trip with $e from )appy +ondays. !here was pink

wallpaper and marble floors everywhere, and he had a guard dog

with long toenails that got inside the house one day, and the

marble was so slippery that the dog ended up ust running on the

spot with its fucking legs going a million miles an hour, as if it



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were stuck on a gym treadmill.

%fter a short while the the fake shine of Las 8egas began

to lose its lustre. lus I really didn't want to stay in a gaff

built solely to fleece dopes of their dough, because I knew I'd be

one of those dopes and blow every fucking shilling I had there in

a matter of months, so I decided I needed to head west to L%.

!he "ity of %ngels was a gaff I knew well and was a place

where I also knew some old pals of mine were living, although I

hadn't been in contact with them for a few stretch. % day or so

later I hit the road, and although I was thousands of miles from

London, paranoia soon set back in and I started to get as twitchy

as a schiophrenic at pill time, looking for hitmen in my rear

view every five fucking minutes.

I needed some protection, and so on spotting a housesied

hoarding advertising a three day gun show on the outskirts of the

city, I thought I would try my luck. I parked up my motor and

walked into a warehouse full of rightwing peckerwoods and

doomsday preppers, salivating over rocketlaunchers and fully

automatic rifles, while eagerly waiting %rmageddon. %fter making a

few discreet en&uiries about purchasing a handgun I realised I

would not be able to buy anything without an %merican ID.

%s I walked back out to my motor I was stopped by a

redneck sporting a $illy 0ay "yrus mullet who asked me if I wanted

to buy a gun. I e/plained to him my predicament to which he

replied it weren't no problem in the land of the free. %n hour



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later I climbed back in my motor packing a Smith and -eston .2;

snubnosed revolver with two packs of bullets and a twoshot

Saturday 4ight Special that fitted nicely in my suit acket

pocket. % thousand dollars the lot.

Once again I felt safe, although I did curse my insecurity

for pushing me into the madness of now being in the *nited States

in possession of two felony offences while driving on a desert

highway towards a new life. !he road I was driving on cut straight

through a succession of shitkicker towns and I followed it all

the way until I could drive no more, finding myself confronted by

a wall of blue acific Ocean at the beautiful beach town of Santa

+onica. It seemed as good as place any to plot up and have a

butcher's around.

-ithin a month I'd tracked down an old pal of mine and

former hitman, 7iller 7en. 7en had acked in the murder game and

was running a successful business knocking out syrups for

superstars from a &uiet little setup ust down from 8enice beach.

(rom the outside of his gaff you couldn't tell he made wigs, which

was the way it was supposed to be and sort of reminded me of my

early Soho days, in the fact that you'd get all these wellknown

male actors pulling up outside his parlour with baseball caps

pulled down low over their heads. !hey'd then take furtive glances

around to make sure noone had spotted them before creeping inside

the door while staring down at the ground. Once inside they'd have

their bald spots tonced over with one of 7iller 7en's weaves



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before slipping back out and having it away back to the safety of

the )ollywood )ills.

%s time slipped by I was keeping in intermittent touch

with Little !ich who told me that the initial storm had passed and

everything was settling down nicely. )e also let me know he was

regularly topping up my secret "hannel Islands bank account with

cash deposited via a system I had set up in Soho's "hinatown. %s

everything seemed to be going sweet, I got myself an %merican

social security number, and after opening a number of bank

accounts, stuck a deposit down on a condo in Santa +onica,

furnished it and set about trying to set something new up to start

earning a straight living.

It weren't long before I hooked up with another pal I

hadn't seen for donkeys, a tealeaf by the name of inch, who told

me over morning coffee on 8enice beach that he was earning a

reasonable crust as an actor. !he first name he stuck up to me who

he had worked with was %l acino, although I wasn't convinced,

until he took me round to another coffee shop in Santa +onica a

week later, and sure as shit there was %l acino sitting at a

table in a pair of sunglasses knocking back espresso after

espresso.

acino gave inch the nod which left me well fucking

impressed as more names rolled off his tongue.

'5ack 4icholson, De 4iro, Duvall6 I've worked with them

all, $illy.' )e told me, although being a film buff I'd seen all



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their work and couldn't remember seeing inch's mooey in any of

them.

%fter digging a little deeper it turned out that inch was

only a spearchucker in the movies, and although the names he had

mentioned were in films he had worked on, being only an e/tra he

had never even seen any of the stars on the set, let alone done

any acting with them. It didn't really matter, at least he was

having a go and seemed happy, which was more than I was, even with

all the readies I had wrapped around me.

inch went on to tell me that since he had known me before

I had become totally introverted and suspicious and that I needed

to free myself from within. It sounded like a lot of 4ewage

southern "alifornian bollocks from a man that now spent his time

swimming with dolphins and chanting the chakras. )e also told me

he was taking ongoing acting lessons up in )ollywood and reckoned

it would be a good idea if I came along to get in touch with my

innerself.

I had nothing to lose and nothing else to do, so the ne/t

thing I knew I was three weeks into +ethod %cting classes with a

cray old bird who had starred in si/ties slasher movies and even

had a part in the 3odfather. So there I was in the class with

about ten other hapless cunts, no shoes and socks on, eyes closed

and a gun stuck down the back of my strides, while pretending to

be a tree swaying in the breee, when the door flew open and in

steamed this homeless looking bloke who had been watching us



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through the door's window.

'I'm paying you motherfuckers thousands of bucks and

you're teaching my daughter this fucking bullshit6' )e screamed.

I recognised the face and voice straightaway. It was $rad

Dourif the actor of $illy $ibbit and "hucky doll fame. !hat sealed

it for me. If "hucky thought that pretending to be tree was a load

of old bollocks then who I was I to argue. I put on my shoes and

socks and walked out of the class with inch in tow, telling him I

weren't cut out for the acting game. 4e/t thing I know he'd talked

me into catching a plane with him to 4ew :ork to take some more

acting lessons with a bloke called 5ack -alter.

')onestly this geeer's proper, $illy,' he said. 'lus I

got a personal recommendation from %l acino himself.'

I weren't convinced. I'd already spent nearly a month

trying to channel my inner Deniro but all I'd managed to come up

with was +r !umble. 4evertheless I was up for the challenge so off

we went.

%fter arriving in the $ig %pple we booked into a hotel and

then spent sometime sightseeing before starting lessons with 5ack

-alter. %bout a week into classes I still didn't have a fucking

clue what was going on and my acting was still about as realistic

as Spotty Dog from the -oodentops. I was longing for a way out.

rovidence came in form of a prim and proper little bird of about

nineteen with a whiny +innie +ouse voice. -e were all sitting in

the acting class one day and she asked 5ack -alter how she could



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become a better actress. )e looked at her with a cynical smirk and

growled.

'3o out and get fucked up some6'

It was the best advice I'd ever heard. I bid farewell to

inch, boarded a plane back to Las 8egas, booked into a five star

hotel and spent the ne/t week getting fucking hammered with any

prospective acting career well and truly binned.

%nother eighteen months flew by as I put down some roots

in southern "alifornia while still keeping in intermittent touch

with Little !ich, who told me everything was still sweet and he

was happy now that he was copping a nice few &uid without having

to sell drugs. +eanwhile I'd been dipping my toes in various small

ventures, and was also keeping myself afloat by having a trusted

pal raid the drug cash stash in my $righton lockup, and send it

over in twenty grand parcels of travellers che&ues. %s the ne/t

si/ months approached I felt secure enough to consider my first

trip back to #urope, in the form of flying to 5ersey, in order to

pick up the takings from my -est #nd properties. !hat's when

things started to sour.

I had belled Little !ich on our secret number but there

had been no answer, so I left a message on his voicemail. Still no

reply. Starting to get suspicious I left another message letting

him know I was on my way to the "hannel Islands.

%fter landing at 5ersey airport I was making my way

through "ustoms when I got a strong tug by the authorities which I



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Old $ill stranded.

Once in Saint )elier I made my way to the )ong 7ong and

Shanghai $ank to check my account. +y worst fears were realised

when I realised that that slag Little !ich hadn't topped it up

with fuck all. I was fucking fuming and it was all I could do to

bite my lip and not go garrity and start smashing up the gaff

while understanding that I had to act fast to salvage whatever may

be left of my Soho criminal empire. I rushed straight to a travel

shop and tried to book a flight to #ngland but there was nothing

leaving till the ne/t day, so I made my way to a hotel booked in

and decided to get some shut eye.

I was awoken about three hours later by a posse of lod

standing around my bed, some of the carrying yoggers. !hey

instructed me to get dressed and while doing so read me an order

they had obtained from a local magistrate which in essence was an

order banning me from the "hannel Islands. One of the pigs then

growled at me.

'-e don't want your type here.'

!hey then handcuffed me and hustled me through the foyer

of the hotel with everyone staring at me. %lthough feeling

embarrassed and humiliated I was also thankful on learning that I

was being loaded onto a flight leaving that very afternoon. lod

ferried me straight through the main gate of the airport without

getting out of the motor and drove it all the way to the waiting

plane which was parked up and ready to take off. !hey then hustled



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me up the steps with all the passengers craning their necks for a

gander as I was then brought on board. %fter having my handcuffs

taken off I was informed by the lod in charge never to return,

and spent the whole of the plane ourney paranoid as fuck, while

wondering if I was being set up in some way for a proper nicking

or e/ecution by my old firm.

%fter working through a strategy I made my way straight to

Soho the same afternoon. $y sheer good chance it was a +onday

which I knew would the ideal day to ambush Little !ich as +ondays

were rent days. I plotted up near a telephone bo/ in 3reat

-indmill street and sure enough, the shortarsed, badbreathed

&uisling turned up, and entered a premises where me and Longshanks

had two brasses grafting in two flats above a tattoo parlour.

%fter about five minutes he came out and I had a little chuckle on

noticing that the muggy cunt was carrying a leather clutch bag. I

called out his name and he turned and had a litter of fucking

kittens before legging it up the road with me in tow telling him

nothing was going to happen to him and that I ust wanted to talk.

I finally managed to calm him down and we went for coffee,

where first of all he tried to convince me he had gone into

partnership with Longshanks at his own behest, but as I probed him

deeper he began to crack before breaking down and sobbing that he

had done as I had told him and kept a low profile but that owelly

had inadvertently lured him to a meet with Longshanks at his

tailor's shop. )e said that no sooner had he had walked through



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the front door then Longshanks hit him on the chin, dragged him

into the stock room, sat him on a chair and then threatened him

with having sulphuric acid poured over his head. )e told me he

rolled over straightaway.

'(air enough' I said. '!hat's why I gave strict

instructions to you not to go on any meets.' $rains of a fucking

rocking horse6 I then asked him why he had not answered my phone

calls and he told me that Longshanks had told him he was supposed

to tell me that I was not allowed to phone #ngland ever again. I

couldn't believe what he had ust said to me so I asked him to

repeat it word for word. Longshanks' actual statement went as

follows.

'!ell that %IDSridden, cokeheaded poof, I said he's not

even allowed to ring this country.'

')e's the one that needs to have an %IDS test,' I sneered.

'"unt's fucked more people than a crack whore. Listen, that slag

ain't ablo #scobar. )e's ust a "anning !own guttersnipe on the

make. 4ow tell me about the "hannel Islands. )ow come I got a tug,

seeing as you was the only cunt who knew I was going there


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especially when he told me that Longshanks had stuck him on less

wages than what I used to pay him.

'I made you a fucking partner,' I said. ':ou was copping

grands a week and now Longshanks is wanking you off with shirt

buttons. -hy did you tell me you could handle it, if you

couldn't


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companies until I showed him the ropes.

On another downside I was stunned by $ernie Silver's

betrayal as I had always afforded him the utmost respect. (inding

out that he had fucked me over was a bitter pill I had no

intention of swallowing. !hrough discreet en&uiries I had heard

that he hardly any longer visited the -est #nd and had settled

back down with his e/missus 5oan and retired to his farm in Derby

which was run by his son 5oe. )owever, I guessed $ernie was still

a keen golfer and so phoned around some courses where he lived and

simply asked if '$ernie was about' knowing he would be using at

least his real first name. -ith no luck in finding him at any of

the gaffs I turned my attention to his farm with the intention of

recruiting a couple of pals to help me kidnap him and hold him for

ransom until his family paid me for my losses.

5ust as I was putting the kidnapping plans into operation

I received a call from an old pal of $ernie's saying that $ernie

had heard I was looking for him and so had scheduled a meet in the

Sportsman's "lub casino in +ayfair. %s soon as we met I tumbled

Little !ich had been lying to me, as $ernie went on to tell me

that Little !ich had told him I had gone to %merica and left all

my business in his hands. $ernie had no reason to doubt him

because I had often used Little !ich as a gobetween in regards to

dealing with $ernie if ever I wasn't about. I outlined my problems

and $ernie insisted he did not recognise Longshanks as having

anything to do with the properties we had with him.



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!here were four buildings all told in which I had dealings

with $ernie, alongside another building in 3reen's "ourt, which

was e/clusively mine and Longshanks and which was run via an Isle

of +an company and administered by front men in 5ersey. %ll of the

buildings had brothels on the first and second floors with varying

se/ businesses on the ground floors and in the basements.

$efore taking any further action I got word to Little !ich

and told him I planned on causing a stir in Soho but was prepared

to leave things be and fuck off back to %merica, if Longshanks

were to agree to pension me off for an inde/ linked grand a week,

no &uestions asked, and he could even keep all the east London

properties we shared. % few days later I got back an answer.

'!ell that &ueer cunt, I'm gonna bury him6'

So I went to work. !he first thing I did was go around to

$ernie's properties and change all the locks. !hen I sent written

notification to all the tenants that no more money was to be

handed over to Little !ich. Instead it was to be paid into an

offshore account administered by me. !his was done my means of a

solicitor's letter pinned to all the doors.

% few days later my brief received a letter from

Longshanks' brief, who was now also acting for Little !ich, and

claiming his client to be the sole owner of all the businesses

that were really mine. 4ot only did Little !ich have all my

paperwork but he also had access to the various aliases and

company names used in all the properties. It had now become clear



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ust what a duplicitous little 5udas cunt he had become.

In order to bring things to a head I once more offered a

deal to let Longshanks have the lion's share with me keeping a

pension and agreeing to stay out of the way. I got a further

message from him via an intermediary in the following words.

'4o deal will be ever be done with that %IDSriddled coke

head cunt. :ou tell him from me, If he fucks off back to %merica

now I'll spare his life, if not he's fucking dead6'

(ollowing that response my ne/t move was to meet back up

with $ernie where we discussed our options. $ernie wanted no

violence attached to his properties, so we settled on an agreed

plan. I got my brief to write to Longshanks' brief to confirm that

Little !ich was still claiming to be the sole owner and proprietor

of the four Soho properties and he sent a letter back saying that

he was.

% few nights later I accompanied a photographer and

private eye around to all of the properties where they collected

evidence of all the sordid business taking place. -ith $ernie's

connivance I then complied a dossier and sent it to $ernie's

brief, who was also in the coup, claiming my rightful ownership

and informing him that the properties were being used for illegal

purposes by Little !ich, namely that of porn and prostitution, and

were therefore in breach of the properties' legal uses, as

stipulated in both the freehold and leasehold covenants.

Once $ernie's brief received the dossier he issued 'cease



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trading' inunctions against Little !ich and all four buildings,

effectively closing them all down. 4ot long after that my brief

received a letter from Longshanks' brief asking for a meeting to

iron things out but by then it was too late for a deal, as I'd

already agreed with $ernie Silver that restarting the businesses

would be probably bring nothing but grief with Longshanks in the

long run.

$ernie subse&uently brought in a bloke called Scotch 5ohn

and between us we worked out a deal where he paid me off a nice

whack and took over the four buildings for himself. I shook hands

with $ernie, wished him well and we went our separate ways, ob

done. $efore I left, $ernie also told me that a year after I had

fucked off, he had heard that Longshanks had led Little !ich and

owelly by their noses like stray mongrels through the streets of

Soho and paid visits to cafes and watering holes I used to

fre&uent. Once there, and at Longshanks' prompting, the two broken

bitches slagged me off no end to people that had the utmost

respect for me. I thanked $ernie for the information and noted

down their treachery before parking it up in the back of my brain

to sort out later.

-ith $ernie Silver's four properties now out of

Longshanks' grip it left only 3reen's "ourt to deal with and I

soon received word through the criminal grapevine that Longshanks

was now on the warpath having lost thousands of pounds per week in

relation to Soho. Of course, being a psychopath he wouldn't take



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the blame himself, and so I knew Little !ich would be sweating

like a cheese sandwich in cellophane, having to e/plain how he

lost four premium porn properties on the turn. I felt in fine

fucking fettle and was now planning my ne/t move but the elation

didn't last long.

*sing Little !ich as a 5udas ig Longshanks had tracked

down a pal of mine who weren't a criminal but had helped me out on

a few things over the last couple of years. %fter luring him on a

meet they kidnapped the poor cunt and took him to a slaughter in

east London where, as a warning to others not to help or harbour

me, Longshanks cut off the fingers on one of his hands one by one

with a pair of garden Secateurs. 7nowing there was no way I could

go to war against Longshanks, his si/ brothers and untold cousins,

I had to start thinking outside the bo/ to slow him down.

I contacted a wellrespected ournalist, who was at that

time writing for a weekly London listings magaine, gave him the

lowdown on what was happening, and he stuck in a small article in

his magaine. % couple of weeks later he called me and gave me

some disturbing information that he had come across after doing

some of his own investigative work.

It seems that the "lub S&uad had carried out a routine

check of the brothel in 3reen's "ourt and had found a pair of

fifteen year old schoolgirls grafting there as prostitutes. I was

fucking devastated. I had always made sure when I was in Soho that

we ran a clean show and kept well away with anything underage. I



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had been out of the frame for two years and now it appeared

Longshanks had schoolgirls punting out their poor little pussies

for peanuts, while the psychopathic slag was driving around #sse/

giving it the fucking big 'un and pretending to be a bona fide

businessman.

I was also furious that Little !ich had been seen going in

and out of the gaff on a regular basis, rightly reckoning that

people might still associate me with the premises. On further

digging it also transpired that Little !ich had signed over the

title deeds of the property to an offshore company owned by

Longshanks but administered by his brief.

I needed to distance myself publicly from the gaff as

&uickly as I could, so I got the ournalist to run the story about

the schoolgirls, while also naming Longshanks as the new owner.

Once it had gone into print I had copies printed up, umped on a

motorbike and in the dead of night scattered thousands of them

outside his #sse/ mansion and throughout the local village. I also

painted a sign on the tarmac outside of his mansion with the word

NONCEand an arrow pointing at the front gate. I then headed down

to "anning !own and dropped the same leaflets through the streets

there.

% few days later my brief received a )igh "ourt inunction

via Longshanks' brief, attached to which was a written statement

signed by Longshanks (that I still have in my possession to this

day)in which he accused me of being a very sick and dangerous man



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who had committed a number of very serious crimes in and around

the London area. In the same statement Longshanks also detailed

some of the alleged crimes, one of which carries a mandatory

sentence of life imprisonment. !hat was it for me. London's number

one villain had grassed me up via a civil court in an attempt to

stop me revealing that he was poncing out schoolgirls at his Soho

brothel.

Despite the legal proceedings I still knew I had to be

careful as I'd heard he was desperate to track me down and have me

e/ecuted, and I believed the inunction to be a ploy he put into

operation, if ever he managed to get to me, by then sticking his

hands up and saying he was ust an honest businessman doing

everything by the book. 4ot only was there the 3reen's "ourt

property left to be sorted out between us but there was also some

nice up and coming real estate in the "anning !own area that I had

shares with Longshanks in. I decided to get out of the country for

a while to plan my ne/t move and so caught a flight back to

Dublin.

Imagine my surprise when a few weeks later I read in a

copy of a London evening newspaper that 3reen's "ourt had been

firebombed, by according to the newspaper report, a gang of

+altese pimps. In the article it stated that unknown assailants

had kicked open the ground floor of the premises and thrown in a

firebomb which almost killed four people on the upstairs floors.

I needed to know more, and so after about a week I phoned owelly



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at his tailor's shop, hoping he would be able to furnish with me

with some more details of the actual firm who carried out the

attack. Instead of being forthcoming with any information he

sounded very evasive and nervous and asked me a series of strange

&uestions. It was then that I sussed that the slag was recording

our conversation. %fter cutting the conversation short I decided I

would one day have to pay the cunt a visit for potentially trying

to stripe me up at what was obviously at Longshanks' behest.

% month or so later I was back in London to sort out some

unrelated business when I decided to drop in to see owelly at his

shop. I walked in and asked the bloke who worked there where the

slaggy plastic gangster cunt was. )e looked at me, shit his pants,

then legged it out of the shop. +y anger overcame me and I made a

foolish mistake, in that I spotted a bottle of bleach on a nearby

table, and poured it all over owelly's brand new Soho Summer

"ollection.

0ealising my error I had it out of the shop sharpish and

headed back to my safe house out in the sticks before slipping

back over to Dublin. It must have been a week or so later when my

brief phoned me in a bit of a panic asking me if I could account

for my movements the previous (riday. I told him I had been to the

cinema and then a restaurant with some friends in Dublin city

centre. )e went on to e/plain that owelly's tailor shop had been

subect to an arson attack and that subse&uently owelly had

visited -est #nd "entral police station and made a statement



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against me saying that he believed I was the arsonist.

(urther en&uiries by my brief revealed that owelly had

attended the Old $ill shop accompanied by Longshanks' brief to

make the false statement against me. So there it was. Longshanks,

Little !ich and now owelly were all using the same brief and all

engaged in a conspiracy to try and have me fitted up and lifted

off the streets.

%fter speaking to my own brief I then received word from

$ernie Silver saying that he needed to speak to me urgently and

that it would be in my best interest to meet up with him at the

0%" club in London with some Old $ill pals of his from back in the

day. I umped on a plane and flew straight to London and over high

teas the pigs briefed me that they knew it wasn't me that set

owelly's shop alight as they already had a suspect.

!urns out Little !ich had been spotted by some bloke

sitting up at opposite open window having a sly fag. !he dopey

little Singing 0inging !ree dwarf cunt had pulled up in an

adacent side street, in I kid you not, a car that was registered

to him. )e then poured a can of petrol through owelly's letter

bo/, set it alight then fucked off. !he bloke at the window took

down Little !ich's number plate and called the Old $ill himself.

$ernie's pig pals then went on to tell me that they

believed some sort of pressure had been put on owelly by

Longshanks to attend the cop shop with his brief in order to press

charges against me. !he two pigs on the meeting then asked if I



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would meet up with their pals conducting the owelly turn out and

I figured, why not, seeing as that dirty grass cunt Longshanks had

already made a statement against me in the )igh "ourt, and had now

tried to have me fitted up for arson, as well as having me tugged

by the authorities in the "hannel Islands. %s far as I was

concerned the gloves were off.

I made my way to a meet the ne/t day with the two Old $ill

at a cafe near Scotland :ard, sussing straight away that they were

the fucking heavy mob. %s I sat at a table opposite them I noticed

a mobile phone laying on the table and emitting a flashing red

light which I suspected was there to secretly record any

conversation we might have. I was right. %bout twenty minutes into

the meet, after spieling them some tales about drugdealings,

punishment beatings, protection rackets and the like, one of the

slippery cunts mentioned the double murder of a pub accountant and

his bird that happened out in #pping (orest, and suggested that I

had used an alias that was being investigated by murder s&uad

detectives on the case.

I told them I had no knowledge of the alias they

suggested, adding that I was willing to talk further but I would

only do it in the presence of my brief. I had the sneaking

suspicion that I was being set up as a fucking patsy for the bit

of graft and was being given enough rope to hang myself. In the

event I called a halt to the meeting and went straight to see my

brief, and he suggested I fuck off for a while while it all calmed



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down, so I flew back to Dublin then onto the States and got back

to sorting out a means to getting a steady straight living and

settling down to my new life on the -est "oast.

%bout si/ months later I received news that Longshanks had

put a firm of builders into 3reen's "ourt and it had been rebuilt

on the hurry and was now back in the porn and brass business. $ut

it weren't all bad news. % month after the building reopened I

was informed by a pal that a gunman had entered the basement in

the early hours, while it was operating as a shebeen, and fired

off a volley of shots at Little !ich. *nfortunately the

treacherous &uisling escaped via a fire e/it and instead some old

shitcunt he was souvering copped the bullets meant for him. (or

Soho Old $ill it was the final straw. % few days later they raided

the gaff and shut down the ground floor and basement by sticking a

cessation order on it.

(rom my sunny hideaway I took stock. I had all but

succeeded in kicking Longshanks out of Soho, and now all he had

left was a brothel on the two upper floors of 3reens "ourt, which

couldn't be shut as two of the birds grafting there had been able

to prove that they were living in the flats, as well as grafting

them, which meant a long legal process to evict them. $ut on the

positive side I had snuffed out all his other -est #nd earnings by

about ninety per cent and stuck his moniker all over a London

newspaper.

!here was more good news. I heard a little while later



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that after the 3reen's "ourt shooting Little !ich was too shit

scared to back to Soho and Longshanks was blaming him for the loss

of earnings and face. So Little !ich was now piggy in the middle

between me and Longshanks. %nd with any gangster grief it's always

the piggy in the middle that cops it first. I knew then that

Little !ich's days were numbered and that one day Longshanks would

throw that particular little piggy to the big bad wolf.

So all in all things weren't too bad. )eavy Old $ill were

chomping at the bit for a piece of Longshanks, Little !ich was on

his toes, owelly was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and I

was sitting in a beach bar in southern "alifornia knocking back

Long Island Ice !eas.

THE CHARITY COMMITTEE IS NOW AVAIA!E IN "A"ER!AC#

The Charity Committee 2013

Documents

Transcript of The Charity Committee 2013