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THE BUS STOP

CHARACTERS: An old lady

A robber

A student

A policeman

The street. An old lady is at the bust stop, looking impatiently at both sides of the

street, trying to read the notice where the numbers are. There appears the robber

(play music accordingly) showing intention to rob someone (he hides, tip toes, walks

quickly and stops to look behind his shoulder, etc). Then, he suddenly bumps into the

old lady.

SCENE 1

Old lady: Excuse me.

Robber: Yes?

Old lady: The 44.

Robber: The 44?

Old lady: Yes. The number 44 bus. Does it stop here?

Robber: I dont know.

Um.3940414243 No, it doesnt.Old lady: Pardon?

Robber: The 44 doesnt stop here.

Old lady: Oh, good.

Robber: Pardon?

Old lady: I said oh, good. Im very pleased.

Robber: What do you mean?

Old lady: I dont want to catch a 44.

Excuse me again.

Robber: Yes?Old lady: The 46.

Robber: The 46?

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Old lady: Yes, the number 46 bus. Does it stop here?

Robber: Do you want to catch a 46?

Old lady: um Yes.

Robber: 42, 43, 4545A, 45B, 45C, 46. Yes, the 46 stops here.

Old lady: Oh, good.

Robber: Ah, there comes a 46 now.

(A bus passes very fast)

Old lady: It didnt stop!

Robber: I know.

Old lady: But you said the 46 stopped here. Youre telling lies!

Robber: No, Im not. That one was full. Ah, here comes another one.

Old lady: A number one? I dont want a number one, I want a number 46.

Robber: I didnt say A number one. I said Another one. Another number 46.Old lady: Oh, I see.

Robber: This one will stop.

(Another bus passes very fast).

Old lady: It didnt stop!

Robber: I know.

Old lady: Excuse me again.

Robber: No!

Old lady: Pardon!

Robber: No, the 47 doesnt stop here

Old lady: No, no, no.

Robber: or the 48, or the 49, or the 50!

Old lady: No, you dont understand. I want to ask you a question.

Robber: Oh. Yes?

SCENE 2

Old lady: Are you a doctor?

Robber: What?

Old lady: Are you a doctor?

Robber: No, Im not.

Old lady: Are you sure youre not a doctor?

Robber: Yes, I am.

Old lady: Oh, you are a doctor!

Robber: No; Im sure I am not a doctor!

Old lady: Oh, what a shame! You see, Ive got this terrible pain in my back.Robber: Well, Im sorry. I am not a doctor. I am a robber.

Old lady: A what?

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Robber: A robber a thief.

Old lady: Teeth? No, no, not my teeth my back. The pains in my back. My teeth

are all right.

Robber: No! I didnt say teeth. I said thief. Thief robber. I am a robber. Look

heres my card.

Old lady: (reading) Sam Poskins. Robber. Banks a specialty. Oh my! Youre arobber.

Robber: Thats right.

Old lady: Help!

Robber: Whats the matter?

Old lady: Police!!

Robber: Stop it!

Old lady: Murder!

Robber: Look be quiet. Its all right. I rob banks. I dont rob people. And I

certainly dont rob old ladies.Old lady: Old ladies!

Robber: Yes.

Old lady: Old ladies! Im not an old lady. Im only 92.

Robber: Well, I dont care if youre 92 or 192. I am not going to rob you.

Old lady: I dont believe you.

Robber: What?

Old lady: I dont believe you are a robber.

Robber: Well, I am.

Old lady: No, no, no impossible.

Robber: What do you mean?

Old lady: Youre too small.

Robber: What do you mean Im too small? I am not too small.

Old lady: Yes, you are. Youre much too small.

Robber: No, Im not. And anyway, Ive got a gun. Look!

Old lady: Oh, yes. Youve got a gun.

Robber: Thats right.

Old lady: Help!

Robber: Its all right. Its not real.

Old lady: Not real?Robber: No.

Old lady: You call yourself a robber! Youre too small, your gun isnt real, and you

cant rob a 92-year-old lady at a bus stop!

Robber: All right, all right, all right! Ill show you. I will rob the next person who

comes to this bus stop.

0ld lady: Oh, good!... Look, here comes someone.

Robber: Right. Watch this.

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SCENE 3

Robber: Excuse me.

Student: Yes?

Robber: Put up your hands.

Student: Im sorry. I dont speak English.Robber: Oh. Er give me your money.

Student: What?

Robber: Your money!

Student: Money?

Robber: Yes money, money, money!

Student: Ah! Its not Money. Its Tuesday.

Robber: No, no, no. I didnt say Monday. I said money. Money!

Student: No. I told you it isnt Money, its Tuesday. Look its in this book.

Money. Tuesday.Robber: What is this book? English for all situations. Oh, god!

Um At a restaurant On a train Ah, yes this is it. Unit 16:

The robbery. Good. Look. Here. Dialogue 1: Give me your money!

Student: Aah, money! Um are you trying to rob me?

Robber: Yes, I am.

Student: Are you a robber?

Robber: Yes, I am.

Student: I will call a policeman.

Robber: No, you wont.

Student: Yes, I will.

Robber: No, you wont. Policemen are like buses. You can never find one when you

want one.

Student: No, youre wrong. Theres a policeman standing behind you.

Robber: Ha, ha! I dont believe that!

SCENE 4

Policeman: Now, whats going on here?

Robber: Oh. Er well

Policeman: Right. You can all come with me to the station.

Robber: Oh, no!

Student: Oh, yes Unit 17: The Police station.

Old lady: Station? I dont want to catch a train. I want to catch a number 46 bus.

Policeman: Not the railway station, madam the police station.

Old lady: Oh, the police station! Yes, I know. Its very near my house. Come on,

everybody!

THE END