The Art of Friendly Persuasion
description
Transcript of The Art of Friendly Persuasion
J. Suzanna LaurentAssociate Fellow
STC First Vice President
Director-Sponsor Region 5
Bylaws Committee Manager
120 Sessions, Programs, Workshops
35 Leadership Articles Published
Region 5 Conference Manager
Distinguished Chapter Service Award
Oklahoma Chapter Achievement Award
ABWA Top Ten Business Woman of U.S.
Our Agenda Today
What is influencing and why does it matter?
Do you have high Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?
Evaluating your influencing style and what it means
Push and pull levers
why does itmatter?
What is
influencing,
and
What is influencing?
Successful influencing means:
Getting a result that meets the
legitimate
needs of both sides!
What is influencing?
Consider these situations:
Asking a boss for a raise
Presenting your side of the story
Dealing with a team member who is underperforming
Persuading a colleague to accept your ideas
Why does influencing matter?
Because organizations
are managed
differently now!
How is management different?
The middle manager disappeared
Lean is mean
The rise of the customer
Working across organizations
The death of authority
Control is pointless
Leadership in modern,
successful organizations is
about persuading,
not about telling people
what to do or giving orders
What makes
an exception
al manager tick?
Influencing and Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
What makes outstanding
performers?
A study done by the Bell Labs
“think tank” at Princeton
How do you know when your influencing is successful?
It meets the legitimate needs of
both sides
It gets results that stick!
influencingstyle?
What is YOURYOUR
typical
Typical influencing styles
Style A: Dominance
Style B: Partnership
Style C: Others First
Style D: Bargaining
Style E: Withdrawing
Style A: Dominance
Put your own needs first and take less heed of the needs of others
It means speaking up, for example, for a cause that you support
Let others know where you stand Use when there isn’t time for debate
Style B: Partnership
Place a high value on collaborative approach
Outcome meets the needs of all sides Listen to other views Creates long-term relationships Goals defined and important to both
Style C: Others first
Place the needs of others high Lose-win style Helps develop other’s confidence Unselfishness in preserving relationship Does not involve deeply held values Creates harmony
Style D: Bargaining
Compromise style, give and take Usually a short-term relationship Goals may be unclear 1970s industrial relations—neither side
can identify common ground Style for a natural troubleshooter
Style E: Withdrawing
Danger in making hasty decision without enough information
Able to raise doubts about any proposed solution
May see dangers others don’t see Style for naturally cautious influencer
How can you improve your influencing skills?
We can tame the savage
“persuasion beast,”
but like a jungle safari,
that change can be scary!
The “pull” skills of influencing
Creating rapport
Genuine listening
Asking questions
Creating rapport
Body language says it all Negative Positive Mismatching and matching the other
person
Genuine listening
Put your effort into understanding the other person first
Be prepared to be influenced before you try to influence the other person
Asking questions
Lots of questions
Open-ended questions
Closed questions
The “push” skills of influencing
Asking for what you want
Saying “no” when appropriate
Giving feedback
Asking for what you want
Formula for making requests Use the person’s name State your request in a straight-
forward manner, using the word “I” Explain why you want it
Asking for what you want
Formula for making requests, cont’d.
Invite their comments and solutions
Ask what resources are needed to make the request happen
Agree on the length of time
Saying “no” when appropriate
Formula for saying “no” Acknowledge the person’s right to
make the request Say “no” straightforwardly Explain your feelings; then give your
reasons Suggest an alternative
Giving feedback
Feedback is not the same as
criticism Giving effective feedback
Receiving feedback
To be effective at giving feedback,
you must also know how to receive feedback well
Let’s review YOURYOUR
questions
Resources
Golden influencing tips on what to do
and NOT to do
Reading list
Amanda Bradley
Within our reach lies every pathwe ever dream of taking.
Within our power lies every stepwe ever dream of making.
Within our range lies every joywe ever dream of seeing, and
Within ourselves lies everythingwe ever dream of being.