The April Fool: NaPoWriMo 2016

By: T.C. Harrison

Published by T.C. Harrison at Smashwords

Copyright 2016.

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This book is available in print at most online retailers.

ISBN-13: 9781311225825

Works by the Author

Musings of a Blerd, Self-published, 2015

April Showers Always Bring Musical Flowers, NaPoWriMo 2015

“The Musical Mechanism”, Grayhaven Comics The Gathering Anthology: Time Travel/Faith,

2014

“Uirusu”, The Sirens Call eZine, August 2014 Issue #16 Apocalyptic Fiction

Poesy Rainbow: NaPoWriMo 2014, Self-published, 2014

The Unconsciousness of An Ethiopian Princess Attack On Love, Self-published, 2014

Where My Imagination Takes Me A Collection of Short Stories and Flash Fiction, Self-published,

2014

“ New Possibilities and Partnerships : How Superman Partnered Academics and Comics at

Seminole State College Library ,” Florida Libraries Journal, Florida Libraries Association, Fall

2013

The Unconsciousness of An Ethiopian Princess College Days of Future Past, Self-published,

2013

“Tzedek: The Forgotten Ones,” Grayhaven Comics The Gathering Anthology: Crime, 2013

“Willehmina Kings of Thieves: Never a Dull Moment,” Grayhaven Comics The Gathering

Anthology: All Women 2, 2013

‘ Defect : Light to Combat the Darkness ,” Womanthology: Heroic, IDW 2012

“June,” Womanthology: Valentine’s Day Special, Golden Gate Studios, 2012

“Don’t Let the Light Go Out,” Womanthology: Holiday PDF, Golden Gate Studios, 2011

A Few Words

Greetings and salutations dear readers!

The time has arrived once again for another entry in my NaPoWriMo series. This my third year participating in the month long challenge of writing a poem each day for the entire month of April. I always look forward to NaPoWriMo as I feel each year my writing improves and the poems that I produce are a testament to that, I hope so anyway.

Speaking of hope, for a while now I’ve been really just in a state of despair. Until recently I’ve felt lost not knowing what my purpose is supposed to be on this earth. There have been many things that I’ve been interested in, ideas that I’ve been excited about, and when I set out to do them nothing ever goes anywhere, there’s no support and I give up on them and feel like a failure.

Steven Pressfield, author of The War of Art calls this thing that keeps us from doing what we long to do, the naysayer within, resistance. Right now, I’m in the midst of learning how to deal and overcome resistance. I’m also restarting the journey of discovering my vocation. I’ve had many false starts but now I feel that I’m on the right path, a new sense of hope has come over me.

During this month I turned 34, Prince passed away and Beyoncé released her sixth album titled Lemonade. The visual album is described as “a conceptual project based on every woman’s journey of self-knowledge and healing.” Lemonade was something that I truly needed to hear and see especially as a black woman-if you didn’t know despite the description, this album was created with black women in mind, it was made for us.

After listening to Lemonade, writing these poems, and just hearing and reading encouraging words, I feel renewed and ready to continue on. As I close out this section let me say a few words of thanks to the following:

● To Hashem for giving me the ability to write and for helping me in all aspects of my life.

● All of the women in my family, past, present and future. Thank you for your fortitude and strength, your love and courage, your vulnerability and weaknesses, intelligence and wisdom, wit and humor, your beauty, and so much more. I will turn the lemons I was given into lemonade because of you.

● My mother Alicia and my sister Dorothy: I love you both very much, thank you for your encouragement, your support and for having my back when no else has.

● Finally the readers: Thank you for your support, I hope you enjoy this book.

Now let’s get in formation.-T.C.

Day 1

The April Fool Was naive to think They could change theWorld by studying to Become a doctor.

The April FoolWas silly to Believe the onesThey called friendTruly understood the Meaning of the word.

The April FoolWas so gullible to Think they could fallIn love three timesAnd not be Devastated each timeTheir heart broke.

The April FoolWas stupid to Trust that their Writing would improveWhen all it did was falterEven more with time.

...In spite of all theirTrials and tribulationsPast, present and future...

The April FoolChooses to remainStubborn in their questTo discover their vocation, And accomplish their Goals along the way.

The April FoolRefuses to give up And surrender as their

World continues to Shatter around them.

Day 2

Me and Graves Part 2

Eight years have passed Since we first met and It’s been one hell of a Struggle

Dealing with the symptomsOf your existence-The loss of weight despite My constant eating, the tirednessAnd weakness, the increased irritability-And the consequences thereafter-Jealous folks who gained weight no matter What they tried to stop it, the embarrassment and Shame, feeling bad after snapping at someone-Has become second nature.

The frustration of finding a specialist, And paying for the ever increasing in Price medication has become routine.

So now after all of that, learning yesterdayThat methimazole finally brought balanceAnd you’re under control makes me glad.

I just have to wait four months to Find out whether or not I’ll meetYour cousin hypothyroid

Day 3

Beautiful

Most days I don’t feelBeautifulNo matter What they say

It’s me who findsThe words that Bring me down

My mind scuttles Through the deep Abyss, searching,Over thinking, analyzing,Wishing and hoping

That I won’t bring meDown today.

-Inspired by Christina Aguilera’s Beautiful

Day 4

To be myself Is to renounce The chains and standardsSociety’s placed upon me

To be myself Is to forge myOwn path throughThe bland normalRegular ones that Have never appealedTo me

To be myselfIs to let it all goNot holding back Any longer, turningAway and slammingThe door of lives Picked out by others Not caring what theySay

To be myselfIs to brave the Storm as it rages on,Telling those who Want me to be Perfect so long

The cold never bothered me anyway...

*Inspired by Disney’s Frozen’s “Let It Go” bySongwriters Robert Lopez, Kristen Anderson-Lopez, and Emanuel Kiriakou*

Day 5

Hey Tuesday Blues,It’s nice to meet youGrumpiness, you’re More than welcome Too.

Exhaustion, annoyancePlease come on in andWe’ll let this weekly miserableParty start again.

Sore left leg, sore right armCramped fingers, oh Please I insist, You must linger.

Sadness and despair Please rise up from the Place you were hiddenIn my mind down there.

So when I leave workAnd endure the drive Home I can return to My bed that I’ve alwaysRoam.

Tuesday Blues,It’s nice to meet you, butWhy always overstay your Welcome do you?

Day 6

When you’re lateYou become like theWhite rabbit, nervouslyScurrying about, Muttering some nonsenseAbout an important date

When you’re lateYou look around atYour fellow humans Running the rat raceAs you and wonder Why you’re so behind

When you’re lateYou begin to believeThat you’ll never Catch up and Start to wonder Why you evenBelieved the hypeIn the first place And give up After trying for So long

When you’re lateThe mountaintop You’re trying to reachAppears to slip furtherAnd further away and the Taunting of your enemies-Real or imagined-rise like The ever approaching tideEmerging first as a whisperUntil their an encroaching Buzz in your ears

When you’re lateYou curse fate and Finally decide to Abandon all hope,

Love, lust, faith And dreams, untilYou have nothingLeft to fight for

When you’re lateYou crawl out of The primordial Abyss that wasReserved for you And you get backUp again, neverWorrying aboutBeing late and Accepting the Fate that you And only youCan now make

When you’re late...

Inspired by the Thirty Seconds to Mars song Alibi

Day 7

Live and learnIs what I strive To do

Living in ignorance is easyBut living in knowledge is hardThe struggle is real to Conform and bend to the Will of others but I won’t kneel

It’s a daily temptationTo give up and throwIn the towel but I Pick it back up Every time

Living is simpleBut living my lifeAs I see fit is a Challenge that I eagerly accept

For so long I’ve Stood on the sidelinesWatching the same oldGame, but now... It’s my time

I march headlong intoThe unknown as I rebelDaily chanting my creed

No, I’m not backing downNo, you can’t count me outNothing in this world isGonna stop me now

Lyrics from Not Backing Down by Blanca featuring Tedashii

Day 8Love comes and goes in allOf its forms: Eros, Ludus,Storge, Philia, Pragma,Mania, and Agape.

I’ve become acquaintedWith each and have watched themLeave during the manyPhases of my life.

Love comes and goes butTo love and know thyselfIs the most important thingTo learn in the game ofLove

Day 9To love and know thyselfIs to believe that you canDo what you set out to doThat even when you haveNo warning sign, no alibi,Fading faster than the speedOf light, after taking chances,Crashing and burning thatWhen you fall apart you canGet back up again

To love and know thyselfIs to discover the dailyBeauty of who you whoAre on the inside and outNo matter what people sayTo love and know thyselfIs to grow and changeInto the person that you’reSupposed to be and NOTThe person society assignedYou

To love and know thyselfIs to explore and discoverThe dark and the light,To not leave yourselfBehind ever again,To die braver thanMost

Day 10I dodged a bullet When I met my first loveAfter he broke my heartMultiple times, it took a whileTo get over him

Now he’s married While he serves out his Prison term...he won’t get Out until he’s 40

I dodged a bulletWhen I met my last boyfriendTen years younger than meAt the time, it was our loveOf comics and anime that Brought us together whileHis immaturity tore us Apart

Now I know with absoluteCertainty he’s a racist andA misogynist loser...thanks Obama

Day 11ConfusionFloods the mindWith a swath of Portraits, soundsThoughts, and Feelings...

A beautiful disasterThat one can only see through Words and actions

Day 12Where you’re going The roads will beDifficult, bent out of Shape, stretched beyondTheir limits

Some might be Blocked by walkersTrapped in muddy pitsWhile others may leadTo battlefields gracedBy orcs and dragons

Others may end upNowhere or lead to The badlands, Outworld,The gates of Hades, or Oblivion

The journey to yourDestination will leaveYou at times battered And broken, you may Lose faith and curseThe day you were born

In your quest for yourVocation, just rememberThat no matter where the Roads take you, no matterHow strenuous your journey Will be-for no journey worth Taking is ever easy-there is At least one individual, who Has got your back for the longHaul

Whether in person or in spiritThey’ll be there, when othersAbandon you and your quest, They’ll be there cheering you On, telling you off when Needed, giving you

Constructive criticism, Listening and comfortingYou when you need it most, And celebrating with you When you’ve reached the Mountaintop

Day 13Overstuffed stomachFilled to the brimWith a delicious lunchTwo beef and cheeseBurritos and four cookies-Two chocolate chip and twoPeanut butter-all downed with gulps Of refreshing H20...

I regret nothing.

Day 14

To the creepy old man at work:Every time you enter and Announce your presence, I cringe at the sound of Your voice as I look Around for a placeTo hide away and keepBusy

While appreciate your Service to this countryAnd think you might justBe harmless, I don’t Appreciate your complimentsThat often times end with“If I were a younger man,I’d...” Nor do I appreciate Your constant calls and visitsTo my coworkers and I

Overall I find you annoyingAt best and at worse creepyAnd what I’ve heard about You proves that my gut Was right all along...

Day 15

“Go west young gal.”The Golden State whispersAs it calls out to me, begging Me to return to the state of my Childhood, before I was snatchedAway by worriment of earthquakes andDriven cross country to the SunshineState where I now remain trapped By bad memories and stagnation

Cali I wonder where I would beHad we not remained in youProtected by your beautifulCoastline, with its salty windsBuoyant waves and brown Sands

Would I had become the Doctor that I was supposedlyPredestined to be? Would myFriendships be real, true, strongAnd many?

What path would life had Taken me if we had remainedIn the sunshine state with A bomb ass hemp beat, whereWould I have planted my feet?

“Go west young gal.” My old friend beckons Me to return and I so Desperately want to But the chains are stillTight, slowly thoughLink by link they beginTo rust and soon I’ll Leave my bondageIn the dust

Cali soon we’ll meet again...Day 16

Let me see The real youLet me hear Your true voiceSo I’ll know whoYou really are

I’ll do the same So we can bothFigure out whetherThis is worth pursuingOr not in order to not Waste any of our Precious time

Day 17

I dreamed a dreamThat felt so realYet also made noSense

And yet I wasApart of the actionFor the entire lengthOf it, never a bystander

But the abrupt awakeningMade me forget what tookPlace and like C3PO I canOnly see tiny bits and pieces

I need a red arm To help me to Never forgetAnd always Remember

Day 18

The long stretch of roadUninterrupted by traffic lightsAnd stop signs is the best kindOf road there is

It’s where your imagination Can for a brief time run freeAs the wind sails through Your car cabin while the Sounds of the radio, Cd/tape/mp3 player

Boom and echo Throughout the windingHighway, carrying their Message on the fumesOf the automobile angels

Day 19Small black breastsSoft like pillowsA medium-small slightlyPlump butt

Hairy legs in theFall and winterStubbornly shaved in theSpring and summerOr not at all

Long locs first cut Really short then Completely shaved offAll together

Intense and focusedEyes that stare into Space and oblivionShielded by blackGlasses that continue To subtly slide off The black nose they Reside on

A squeaky, babyish, Doesn’t talk loud Voice often exitsThe round mouthWhose lips are Often colored in Either black, ruby red,Violet red, Purple, Yellow,Silver, pale gold, greenPink, orange, brown, orBurgundy lipstick dependingOn the day

Wearing clothes theyFeel comfortable inIn style or not-for theyDon’t care-accompaniedBy attire such as

Earrings, a watch (Usually their Wonder Woman one),And oftentimes a hat

Their oval sized headDonning headphonesPlaying anything from Janet, Rage Against the Machine,Thirty Seconds to Mars, Lauryn Hill, SWV, TLC, Lil Kim, Nicki Minaj, Azealia Banks, Nirvana, Tupac, Biggie, Janelle Monae’Radkey, Foo Fighters, The Skins,Straight Line Stitch, Rihanna, LolawolfAnd more...

Such is the case of Me, Myself and I

Day 20

I’m going in a new directionTraveling on roads createdSolely for me

I have a new dedicationSorting through the Crap as I look for myOwn vocation

Leaving behind all of the Things that have heldMe down

The friends who’ve neverSupported me, the onesWho wanted to changeMe to their liking, and Abandoned me whenI refused

For years now I’veStruggled saying Goodbye but I mustCut ties in orderTo survive

When the nights are coldI’ve got that fire in my soulI don’t need a hand to holdJust the unrelenting beat that’s In my heart keeping meAlive, because it’s just meMyself and I, riding soloUntil I die

Lyrics from the song Me, Myself & I by G-Eazy feat. Bebe Rexha

Day 21Today we met sorrow And for a while we’ll feel painCause you were snatched from usUnderneath the purple rain

Death crowed “two thousand sixteen Party over, oops out of time.”But we all know the music continuesUp there in heaven with you, ChynaBowie, Natalie, and company Laughing and partying like its 1999

Inspired by the songs Purple Rain & 1999 by Prince

Day 22

Celebrate Mother Nature From her green ripe fieldsBearing food to the crystalClear views of her lakes and Seas

Witness her powerful winds, Torrents of rain and her Thunderous applause

Bask in her holy sunlight And be blinded by its raysAs they emit life and deathOn a whim

Depending on her mood You can embrace her clearSkies or hide in fear when They’re dark and cloudy

Embrace the cornucopia ofHer sounds broadcasting Live 24/7 from her junglesDeserts, rainforests, valleysArctic tundra and more

Take all of it in,The smells, sounds,Tastes, and touch...

For it may be gone In an instant...

Day 23Beautiful and majesticNoble and kindCreative, gay and weirdShimmering as it fallsDown on meThe musical notes ofAn afrofuturistic worldSummon me to my Seat at the table whereMy brothers and sistersMeet to share, discuss,And enlighten each otherWith lessons of love, hopeEncouragement, knowledge,And empowerment

This is my purple rain

Day 24The lemonade stand Welcomed me as I nearedThe end of the sidewalk

Seeking relief from the Ever insidious heat, I Handed my money to theOwner of the stand who In turn handed me a tallCool glass of purple Lemonade

The drink was not tooSweet nor too bitter, butRather just right for me

As the drink began itsTrip from my mouthAnd towards my belly, itCooled my parched throatAnd refreshed my mind asTook me on a journey fromIntuition, denial, apathy, accountability,Reformation, resurrection, and Back to hope, I felt renewed

More prepared for the future, I thanked the owner and continuedOn my way, now shaded andProtected from the ever increasingHeat, ready with the women of My people who came before, who arePresently in the struggle, and Who are arriving from the futureTo get in formation

-Inspired by the visual album Lemonade by Beyoncé

Day 25Stagnant stifling, Unable to be freeStuck in a hellNot able to haveAny creativityA mind lost Trapped in the Squalor of just Settling and Accepting Society’s fateWandering aimlesslyIn the darkNot finding anyLight to guide You

Hopelessness FrustrationMisplacing the Will to fightAnd go onTrying to reachUp and grab ontoThe lifesaver Branch that Moves fartherAnd farther awayWith each reachingAction as the husksOf those who had Gone on their ownPersonal destinationsAnd failed, hittingRock bottom attemptTo pull you into theBottomless pit of Despair

Day 26In a dimly blue lit Cave hewn from A rock a man entered And discovered Large oval shapedObjects, one of which Opened right beforeHis very eyes as heKnelt down to furtherInspect the specimenThat lay before himHis curiosity at what Was unfolding kept Him in a trance...

Later that evening At the dinner table Surrounded by hisFellow comrades In arms talking, Laughing, and carryingOn like a team wouldThe man felt just Fine until suddenlyHe began to chokeAt first his friendsThought that was The case until theMan began to Convulse in pain

His chest palpitatingAnd moving with Such force untilA curious lookingCreature burstForth and quickly Fled from the bloodyMid-sized hole it hadJust emerged fromLeaving a distraughtAnd speechless Audience in its wake

As for the man, Needless to sayHe ate somethingThat disagreed withHim

Day 27I miss your windingCoastal roads, your Brown soft beachesYour western windsAnd your salty seas

I miss your redwoodForests, your hillsAnd oftentimes Shaky groundsAnd your summerFog

I miss your L.A. vibeThe cities of OaklandCompton, Watts, theHollywood hills, the Vineyard dotted Countryside, the Small but welcomingFeel of Eureka, andThe myriad of valleys

I miss your laid backBeach goers and surfersYour dazzling and messed Up Celebrities and yourRegular everyday people

Basically what I’m Trying to say is I miss you California...

One day I’ll come Back to you

Day 28It’s exhausting tryingTo be someone other Than who you are

By doing so, youLose yourselfIn the primordialAbyss of self-hateEmbarrassed of the who, Where, and what origins Instead of embracing the Uniqueness that is you

By putting on a Life model decoy You are giving up on Everything you are Underneath, not even Realizing it is yourActions that define and Determine your fate

In order to reclaimThat which you have lost,You must once again Lose yourself but this time in The music, in the moment Owning it and never letting go For you only get one shot Don’t miss your chanceFor this opportunity onlyComes once in lifetime...

Stick to being yourselfBecause quite franklyEveryone else is taken

Lyrics from Eminem’s Lose Yourself (Soundtrack Version)

Day 29They tell me that I’m prettyBut when I look at other people,All I see are my flaws

They say I’m a good writerBut what I produce on paperNever measures up

They say I can do anythingBut when I try I’m alwaysBlocked

They encourage my endeavorsBut when I start bringing themInto existence, the support’s Never there

They tell me that we’re friendsBut when hangout time comes Around, like Homer Simpson They slowly back away into a Neighboring bush

They always tell me untruthsBut I always accept them as truth They show me who they really areBut I never believe them

Day 30

Hope has finally arrivedIn my heart and is here To stay permanently

In the midst of all of thisChaos and uncertaintyOf this thing we call life, Hope remains steadfastStubbornly refusing to leaveMy mind, body, soul and spirit

Because of this I now revisit my Goals for the futureDistant and nearby,Hard work, blood, sweat, tears, And faith are requiredI know they can be met

Though the future is not setAnd the outcome unknownI now possess the knowledgeHanded down from my ancestorsTo determine my own fate

With their wisdom and Empowerment I can doAll things, faith, hope, And love strengthening me

Fear, apprehension, Disillusionment, and Failure still stand in myWay handing me lemonsBut I continue forwardWith my best foot firstJust in case, making My way listening andFighting, creating lemonadeMoving forward towards My destiny...Hope has finally

Entered my heartAnd is here to Permanently stayNever ever to leaveAgain

Inspired by Beyoncé & James Blake’s song Forward

About the Author

T.C. Harrison is a writer originally from Eureka, California presently residing in Central Florida who writes about music, poetry, comics, anime, TV, movies, writing, fashion, food, love, life, & wherever their imagination takes them.

They continue to work on poems and stories that they hope to publish. You can find T.C.’s writings at GonnaGeek.com where they write news stories and a column titled “Musings of a Blerd;” Moviepilot.com, and the underground/mainstream pop culture blog Uncanny Pop, where T.C.is the co-creator and editor.

Follow T.C. Harrison over at their blog: https :// musingsofablerd . wordpress . com / and like their Facebook page: https :// www . facebook . com / ATaleofPoesandfire