John: Warning, if you overreact to villains and heroes in gruesome fights, this movie is not for you. (The Adventures of is shown in white, MorphoMan is shown in goopy letters and Water Boy is shown on screen in watery letters) Narrator: One time, there lived two ordinary men named John and Robert. They lived the ordinary life of an ordinary Joe. But they wanted pizzazz. (Robert and John shown in cafeteria) John: To the meatloaf away! (Both shown walking)

John: To the broccoli away! Oh, make sure you give Robert some extra. (John walks; Robert stays behind but comes eventually) Cafeteria Lady: Here you go! (Now Robert is walking) John: To the potatoes away! Robert: Would you cut that out? For good Gods sake, this is the 6th lunchtime youve done this! (Shown walking again) John: To the table away! (They both walk one last time) Robert: I have never felt so happy in my life! You twisted little twit has said that nutshell

phrase of yours for a week now! You should be ashamed of yourself. (Camera focuses to a villain with a gun who shoots a green ray, then focuses back to John and Robert who get zapped) Narrator: But suddenly, they were zapped to a nearby high school. Now, I guess you have a lot of questions about this movie. Why does John go Away? Why are they at the high school? Those and many others will be answered later. (Robert and John shown at principals office) Robert: Why the heck are we here, young whippersnapper? John: I think were gonna become principals. Woo-pee! (John and Robert take turns saying Woo-pee!)

(A principal come in with an ice cream cake) John: Hello. Whatcaya doin? And who are you? Principal: Im this school principal. John and Robert (simultaneously): Why did you bring an ice cream cake? Principal: Why, Im retiring. Narrator: Now, do you wanna know how they got here? (Camera focuses to a crowd of kids which say Yeah!) Narrator: Too bad. (Kids say Aah!) Narrator: OK, here it goes. (Kids say Yahooey!) Narrator: Geez, OK. They got shocked by an evil villain named X across the street, who was

trying to use his mind-melting gun two days in a row. Now what happened is that he made a horrifying mistake of trying to use a synthetic weapon without letting the C-2X906 super-bimflimanatrix drive of their beebleflux-capacitating zossifyer cool down, thus creating a sub-paradoxical dimensionalistic altercon-shift, which opened up a hypergoogliphonic screen door into a sub-omnivating ultrazinticular bio-nanzonoflanamarzipan. For you losers, morons, idiots, and retards; in scientific terms, he screwed up. John: My head almost went boom-boom after that. Boom Man: Did somebody say boom? (A big explosion on screen happens) Boom Man: Oh yeah, I forgot the other one.

(Another explosion happens) Robert: So, were principals? Principal: Yep. (A kid with a tie and flat-top comes in) Robert: ALARM! ALARM! We got an intruder! Run for your lives! The kid: Good lord, I only was in here to grab my textbook when I forgot it. John: Hey, who are you? The kid: Im Bruce. John: Hey, how old are you? Bruce: 15. Narrator: Now, we meet Bruce Johnson. He will become a very important contributor to John and Robert. Hes a nerd, but can be funny too.

(Bruce, the principal, John and Robert, and a mysterious man are shown at a table) John: So, youve learned any good life lessons? Principal: Sure. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But if you dont have water and sugar, eat the lemon, and the rind will give you diarrhea. Remember that from Dinner from Schmucks? Bruce: Oh great, now were saying dorky things from movies. I got one. A million dollars isnt cool. You know what is?John: You? Bruce: Nope, a billion dollars. Ha-ha, remember that from Inception? Robert: Heres one: If you dont wear a shirt, youll get quoted like Jacob from Twilight like

this: Doesnt he own a shirt? Ha-ha, thats from Twilight. The last part, anyway. John: Oh ho-ho, heres one. If you screw up, youll get hit in the head by a vampire with a baseball bat. Thats what I made up. (Camera shown at the mysterious man known as X) X: Hello! Bruce: Why are you here? Giving us free refreshments? X: NOOOOO! Wonder why Im here? Anyways, have you ever seen this? (Shows a mind-melting gun, the one we talked about earlier) All 5 except X: You were the one who got us here in the first place.

Bruce: Oh and why does it smell like mold, greasy dishwater, and tennis shoes, you DOONBOFA? X: Dont you see? This is my hideout where all 10,000 of my minions are. Narrator: OK, if you realized it, I mentioned X earlier. Amazingly, the mind gun is actually the one we talked about earlier. Look closely. (Replay when John and Robert get zapped by X) Principal: But why is it a school? X: Ya see its not. I made it like a school so people would ask for jobs. But then they will be sucked in my tube of clones! John: Im leaving. Robert: Me too. Principal: Me three.

Bruce: Me four. X: Hold on, you little suckers aint going anywhere. John and Robert: ATTACK! Bruce: This is gonna get ugly Im out of here. Principal: So am I. (John and Robert charge and get into a grueling fight) John: Hey, can we see that gun again? X: What? You want to see me with this? OK. John: Aah! Lets escape. Robert: OK. (Robert and John go with Bruce and the principal to a vault) Bruce: I got this. Dr. Dre-2001.

Computer: Password correct The 3 adults: How the heck did you do that? (Robert is shown going for a drive) (X sneaks in) John: Why are you in here? (X shows a magical glass ball at Robert) John: Can we see that? X: OK. (X throws magic ball at John) John: Ouch!!!!! (Car is shown in mid-air) X: Bye-Bye! (Car crashes upside down) John: Its amazing! I survived! (Robert is shown unconscious)

John: Aw no... (We are now at a hospital; "I Need a Doctor" song is playing) John: How hes doing? Doctors: Im afraid to say this, but theres a 95% chance hes dead. (John follows Robert from the first room to a giant room with lab tubes and TVs to a quarantine tube to an exercise room) Robert (faintly): Who am I? Doctors: Youre names Robert. You survived our tests! Youve actually survived. Robert: Wait a minute; I am Water Boy, the amazing superhero who can amazingly talk with sea creatures.

John: And I am Morpho-Man, the awesomest superhero of all because I can transform into anything. John and Robert: And we are SUPERHEROS! (Both start exercising vigorously) John: I feel like a million bucks! Robert: I feel like 2 million! John: I feel like 3! Robert: 4. Doctors: Please, dont be hopeless idiots. (John and Robert are shown at a contest with a lot of people) Contest Man: Now, this mighty fine computer is yours if you can guess how many gigabytes of storage space it has.

(Camera focuses to a big computer called M.O.D.O.X) M.O.D.O.X: M.O.D.O.X activated. What would you like me to do? Backscratching you is one of my over 5,000 options. Baffled Cowboy: How many gigabytes are in that computer? Contest Man: Whats wrong with you? Anyways, youll... Pedestrian #1: OMG, 50 Cent is in the building! Ha-ha, haha, ha-ha, ha-ha! Contest Man: ...have 24 hours to put in your guess. 24 Hours Later... Contest Man: OK, the winner is... John Trebecca! Got it exactly with 2718 gigabytes.

(John and Robert start breakdancing) Back at home... John: Ooh, heres an invitation... Robert: You are invited to a special event. John: A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity Robert: To party like its the end of the world. John: With music, food, games and more! Robert: Party begins at 8 sharp. John: A.M. or P.M.?

Robert: P.M. DUH!!!!! Since its already 10:30 it has to be P.M. you twit. John: (Quietly) Oh, thank you.