Ten Things for Parents to Know About Teenagers

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Understanding teenagers and wellbeing with Nicola Morgan Up-to-date science, classroom materials, advice, books and more: www.nicolamorgan.com

Transcript of Ten Things for Parents to Know About Teenagers

Page 1: Ten Things for Parents to Know About Teenagers

Understanding teenagersand wellbeing

with Nicola Morgan

Up-to-date science, classroom materials, advice, books and more: www.nicolamorgan.com

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www.nicolamorgan.com•Today’s blogpost on my website:•Handouts, free downloads, links

•Books:

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Ten Things I’d Like Parents to Know

About Adolescence

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1. It is not a modern phenomenon

It’s a natural, biologically driven, universal, necessary and positive

developmental stage

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2. The aim is separation

Explains conflict, change and the power of peer pressure

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3. The prefrontal cortex develops last

And isn’t fully developed until the mid-twenties – sorry!

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Prefrontal cortex vs limbic systemPrefrontal cortex (pfc):• Control: reason, logic, prediction, analysis, impulse control,

moral values, decisions

Limbic system (including amygdala): • Emotions + instinct:Reactive, impulsive, motivating

Amygdala

PFC

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Consequences Strong amygdala/limbic system vs weak prefrontal cortex•Affects emotions: • volatility and control

• Impulse control • Empathy•And risk-taking

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4. Sleep patterns change

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Double whammy of sleep change:• Greater sleep need• Adolescent “body clock” acts differently:• Switches melatonin ON later at night• But switches it OFF later in the morning

• Lots of advice on my website

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5. Teenage stress has significant differences

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They have some different stressors

•Perfect storm of change

•A regular schoolday is a catalogue of stress: pressure to concentrate/perform + friendship/peer group issues + self-consciousness

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And “new” stresses1. Exams: higher pressure, frequency + stakes

2. Internet and social media: • Highly appealing/addictive• Pressure to conform with tribe – “FOMO”• Biological drive to share personal info risk• Distraction: “Continual partial attention” (more later)

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The downsides of stress are the same

1. Cortisol build-up: sleep, mood, immune system, control (words+actions), focus, performance

2. “Preoccupation”• Think about brain “bandwidth”: every thought/action

requires bandwidth• Teenagers very vulnerable: intrusive, negative thoughts

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6. Teenagers are no better at multi-tasking than we are

• If part of focus is elsewhere, cannot perform 100%• (But certain non-cognitive tasks can be done together)•We do not improve at multi-tasking• Those who practise distraction most are most

distractible• Attempting to multi-task causes cognitive stress/cost

The Organized Mind by Daniel Levitin

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7. So social media a two-fold problem for teenagers

1. Biologically drawn to social media through peer pressure2. Yet prevented from doing best work as continually

distracted

• Educate; strategies; modelling; motivation – “Self-control”

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8. Resilience is damaged by over-protection•Resilience: ability to bounce back •Must face and discuss scary, difficult things•Must learn that we can control own growth – praise

effort more than talent•Must learn to bounce back after failure – make

failures feel small and temporary•Be a safety-net parent, not a helicopter parent

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9. They know a lot about a lot but…

Very little about a lot of other things!

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Daily relaxation is not luxury: it helps performance

1. Instant breathing/relaxation technique – my website

2. Daily “downtime” – different, varied and deliberate

3. Perspective – “This too shall pass”; “You are not alone”; “Talk” – and emotions are normal + healthy

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10. Teenagers who read daily for pleasure…•Do better at school and afterwards•Have higher self-esteem•Understand themselves and others better•Have greater knowledge and vocabulary•Have a perfect strategy for managing stress• Engagement; escape; reduce stress chemicals

• See my website: “Readaxation”

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For you today:• Three chances to win: signed Deathwatch (set in GWC) and The

Passionflower Massacre (rare out of print edition), a Help! Teenager! tea-towel + a USB stick loaded with ebooks, Mondays are Red, Sleepwalking + The Passionflower Massacre• AND three chances to win a copy of Study Skills• To enter, buy a book tonight and put your name in the hat. Six names

will be picked at random. The school will contact you if you’ve won.

• Good luck!

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Understanding teenagersand wellbeing

with Nicola Morgan

Up-to-date science, classroom materials, advice books and more: www.nicolamorgan.com