ISSN 2284 – 6549 ISSN–L = 2284 – 6549

Editor-in-Chief: Simona Mihalca

Editors: Andreea Albulescu Ruxandra Sevastin Casiana Constantin Delia Cocoș Michela Sereni Zaharia Rareș Andreea Osu Nina Moskowitz

Cover design: Andrada GalanDesign: Andrada Galan

We reserve the right to select the submissions received be-fore publishing.

Contact:www.teen.artout.roteen@artout.ro

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR 4. Simona Mihalca

INTERVIEW 6.Troy Donockley (Nightwish)Forever Still (Maja Shining) 14.

OUR DECADES IN THE SUN 22. Zaharia RareșCasiana Constantin 26. WARM AND BLISSFUL 32.Nina Moskowitz

WE ARE THE STORY OF US 36.Michela Sereni

HOW CHILD-PARENT 40.RELATIONSHIPS EVOLVE Andreea Osu

Dress Codes, Rape Culture, 45.and Unenlightened AmericaSofia Burton

BOOK REVIEW 48. Simona Mihalca

Christmas Magic? 54.Andreea Albulescu

Cristmas Fair 56. Delia Cocos

Winter Traditions in Bucovina 60.

LETTER FROM THE

EDITOR

December means many things to many people, but for many rock fans such as myself it meant the month when we would finally get too see Nightwish live in Bucharest. It was an event like no other, and surely we decided to dedicate this issue to them. What other song could be more fitted to December, holidays, Christmas and family time if not Our Decades In The Sun?It’s such a personal song for the band, and Tuomas in particular, talking about parents, the relationship with them and how they will remain with us even when they are not here anymore.

“I climbed off your backNot so long ago

To a blooming meadowTo a path you’d made for the

lightest feet

MotherI am always close to you

I will be waving every time you leave

Oh, I am youThe care, the love, the memories

We are the story of one

FatherI am always close to you

I will be waving every time you leave

Oh, I am youThe care, the love, the memories

You are forever in me”(Nightwish – Our Decades In The

Sun)

4.

Sometimes it takes feeling other people’s emotions in order to understand yours. That is why so many of us dwell in books, movies, songs or even quotes. Emotional intelligence is something that has to be learned and developed, something that lets you gather real-life examples from everything around you. This is just an example that speaks for a great number of people.

Still, not everyone has the fairytale family we are used to believe in, not everyone has our chances or our point of views. Things will always be more than they seem. It’s a delicate topic that requires our analysis, our panoramic view.

What better time to think of family and what it leaves us with then December, the time of holidays and supposed inner peace?

Do enjoy our family-themed articles, our special Christmas pieces and, of course, a Nightwish interview with none other than Troy!

Editor-In-Chief Simona Mihalca

OUR DECADES IN THE SUN

5.

Troy Donockley

interview

You cannot think of symphonic metal without putting Nightwish first and foremost, a band with such exquisite songs, a band that has made history and continues to be endeared by so many. They bring so much through their music and lyrics, they are a beacon of hope and inspiration for so many. Yet again, you cannot think of Nightwish and not think of all it’s been through as a band and all it had to go through in order to be here, the 6-men (5 men and a woman) band that headlines the biggest festivals out there. It was that line-up that made it this December to Bucharest, in a long-awaited concert that proved once again why Nightwish is Night-wish.One of the reasons why Nightwish is Nightwish today is Troy Donock-ley, the British master of uilleann pipes, low whistles, bodhran, bouzouki, guitars and vocals. We have had the chance to catch up with him and let him tell us more about himself, about the band, about music and touring.

6.

1.

Troy Donockley

Simona Mihalca: What did you first think when Tuomas showed you the concept for this album?

Troy Donockley: Well, it was a concept very close to us both and based in subject matter of great interest, so i was naturally excited. And still am...

Simona Mihalca: Wid you happen to disagree with him on anything, whether ideologically or artistically? How was that re-solved?

Troy Donockley: It’s a very unusual thing, but we had no disagreements. We understand each other perfectly well.

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interview

S.M: What was the most unexpected thing for you that followed the release of Endless Forms Most Beautiful?

T.D: I think it’s that we weren’t hammered so hard by “offended religious people”. It’s really encouraging because it says a lot about our fans. They are generally an open minded lot and simply love the road on which the band travels, no matter where it goes.

S.M: When joining Nightwish, either the first time as a touring member or more recently as a member, did you ever fear the Nightwish fandom, which is known to be mean and cutthroat?

T.D: Personally? Not at all, no. I only care about the opinion of those who know me. It’s very unhealthy to do otherwise.I have had a wonderful, positive experience with the fans because the real fans are there for the music. Of course, there are some weird people out there who follow the band for, shall we say

‘warped’ reasons and can be terribly nasty and ignorant, but they are in the minority and must be laughed at. And are.

S.M: What were your favourite Nightwish songs before joining the band and what are your favourite songs now?

T.D: Er, i think from the past it would be “Dark Chest Of Wonders” because it was the first thing i heard and i loved the title. But in the present it has to be “The Greatest Show On Earth”.

S.M: Is there something you haven’t had the chance to play live from the old or new Nightwish songs yet but would like to try?

T.D: Yes, probably “The Siren”. But i do look forward to the resurrection and renewal of some of those very old songs....

8.

“ (our fans) are generally an open minded lot and simply love the road on which the band

travels, no matter where it goes.

“

9.

interview

S.M: How is the tour life treating you? Especially in winter, so close to the holidays?

T.D: Oh it’s always great. It’s always summer. We are that extremely rare beast - a band with no conflict and rampant ego’s so we tend to have a splendid time in our own company. That said, after almost five weeks, it’s definitely time to go home!

S.M: The last time Nightwish was in Romania was in 2009. Quite a lot has changed since then. What were your expectations coming to Romania and what do you think now, after a concert and a day spent in Bucharest?

T.D: I love the atmosphere of Bucharest and our audience is lovely. It makes me want to explore Romania; something I intend to do soon.

10.

S.M: We heard that you have begun filming for a DVD. Have you settled for a format or a concert to be filmed?

T.D: Yes we have. We recorded two shows, one in the USA and one in Finland and we will be recording our show at Wembley arena too.

S.M: What was the moment when you felt proudest to be in Nightwish?

T.D: When I realised that our audience consisted of men, women and children from the age of 8 through to 78.I was very thrilled and proud.

S.M: : If you were to describe each Nightwish member with a word, what would be that?

T.D: Family.

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interview

S.M: What is the most important life lesson you’ve ever had to learn?

T.D: That the curse of ‘self-importance’ must be uncovered and destroyed, moment by moment.

S.M: : Like anything else in today’s society, the music industry has developed a never-before seen speed, sometimes to the detriment of music itself. What do you think are some of the songs, not necessarily rock ones, of the last years that might outlast their years and time and be remembered in the future? Present company obviously excluded.

T.D: That’s a great question but not one i can easily answer. I feel the “golden age” has long vanished and personally i hear nothing but blandness in most of the current music scene, but it will come again. I’m an optimist.

S.M: What would be something about you that you wished more people understood?

T.D: I don’t know all that much about me myself!

12.

13

by Simona Mihalca

14.

SM: You are set to release your first full-length album in January. What would you say this album means to you personally and what are your expectations about its release?

MS: I’m positive it’s gonna go down great! We’ve already gotten a lot of positive reviews of the album, and I’m sure our fans are going to be just as happy with it. I’m happy with everything we’ve done with it, it’s completely honest and from the heart, and I think the listener can sense that. It has been fun making a concept album and releasing it in parts, I think it has only added to the experience as well as given the audience new music more frequently.

SM: What do you think is the biggest risk you’ve taken with this album?

MS: Just going rawer in general. We didn’t want it to be too polished this time around, and I feel like it has made the album even more honest and open taking a more stripped down approach to the sound.

SM: How extensive do you want or expect to be touring afterwards? Any place you’d really like to see?

MS: We’re mainly focusing on Europe in the spring and summer, but we have talked about doing something different and maybe hitting the States with acoustic shows and house shows next fall.

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We want to go everywhere, and there are people asking us around the world when we’ll come to their city, and I’m positive we’ll make it happen in good time. Everyone can still suggest their cities online at www.foreverstill.dk/tour and, most importantly, help us get there by spreading the word in their area.

SM: Speaking of touring: who takes care of your cats while on tour? :)

MS:My sister has been kind enough to pop by! I have two cats, so if it’s only a weekend tour they can keep each other company most of the time, and she’ll only need to stop by once. I make it work for now!

SM: Your songs are so deep and powerful, but more than often tragic. How hard is it for you to tap into such dark and personal themes, both when composing and performing?

MS: I suppose it’s what’s most natural and I never have to think about it.

To us, as well as a lot of listeners, the music is a sort of therapy, which

is why it often comes from a place of hurt. When you confront it you

make it a strength instead of a barrier, and doing so can be an exit

wound for all the emotions that’d otherwise boil over.

SM: Do you wish to open a bigger debate about topics life

through your music? There is so much

stigma attached to mental illness in our

society.

MS: To me it’s personal and I want it to help

people on a personal level. I know a lot of

people who come to us and say that the music

helps them when they’re feeling bad. That is comforts them into knowing that somebody else

feels their pain and that it gets better. That’s the main goal. If it opens up debate about mental health and similar, I’m happy to

bring attention to that as well and take the discussions that comes

with it.

16.

“We didn’t want it to be too polished this time around, and I feel like it has made the album even more honest and open taking a more stripped down approach to the sound.

“ Maja Shining

17.

SM: Who are the singers or bands who have had the biggest impact on you, from a little girl who started to sing until now?

MS: It’s hard to say, because to me it’s all so subconscious and it depends so much on the mood I’m in. The same goes for the type of music we write. The bands that have hit me the hardest are never the ones with the biggest shows or the most amazing singers, but the ones who had an emotion in their songs that I could connect to. When I was very young I was looking for more females in rock, but they were really hard to find since they never got as much media attention as the guys. I want to change that and be available to young girls who might not think there’s a place for them in the boys club of rock and metal. These days I’m listening to Placebo, A Perfect Circle and Flyleaf.

SM: Tell us more about your road as a musician. What made you decide to take up singing and even screaming? How did you first end up in a band?

MS: I’ve liked singing since I was a little girl. Like, I’d be singing solo in Christmas plays when I was around 5 and I’d often sit outside on the swing by myself and make up songs or on the way home in the car. I started in a girls choir when I was 11 and onto musical theater and rock music starting around age 15, which was what took my heart. I went to a music school at 17 and decided to find a band when I got back from there. Screaming was a natural extension of the music I make with Forever Still. I write the music with Mikkel, and early in the process we decided to try it out, as we both found it to make a lot of sense connecting that to the emotions in the music. That’s the same reason we use it very scarcely, since it’s a very powerful emotion - if it’s overused it loses its power.

SM: If you could play with any singer or band or have them play with Forever Still, who would be the biggest wish?

MS: I think a lot of bands would be super cool to work with!

18.

I’ve always thought that if we were going to do a collab or duet with someone, it’d be more fun with a male fronted rock band, since I like the dynamics of female and male vocals. A Perfect Circle, Nothing More or Bring Me the Horizon would all be fun to do something with to mention a few.

SM: You previously said that you considered working in musical theater, since you had an inclination for not only singing, but acting and dancing. Would you still like to do that one day?

MS: I still enjoy musical theater, and I do enjoy acting and dancing as well. But with musical theater you’re only projecting others emotions and you don’t get to be a creator. With Forever Still I’m able to make something from scratch and have it come from my emotions and experiences and I can create something that is in direct correlation with my taste without compromises. That’s something musical theater never will be able , and it doesn’t have the same nerve.

Working in musical theater takes a lot of hard work, practice and determination, and I believe you need to work with what you’re most passionate about and make that your no. 1 priority. I’ve never wondered if I made the right decision.

SM:Obviously, since those days you have gathered a lot of experience. How nervous are you now when going on stage?

MS: I’m never nervous when going on stage. I’m always excited when going on stage and I love playing shows, but I don’t get any nerves. We have spent a lot of time rehearsing and getting good at what we do, so I’m very confident when going on stage and determined to give the audience an amazing live experience.

SM:You have such a big following on social media, always making sure to talk to your fans and let them see you for who you are. Do you ever think there comes a line between fans and friends or a point from where you need to take a step back?

19.

MS: Yes, we do spend many hours every day speaking with our fans and we’re incredibly happy to be able to have this kind of connection - it also makes it truly special when we finally meet them at our shows. We do see our fans as friends and the other way around, and we do try to get back to as many people as possible as well as engage in each others lives. I don’t see much difference between fans and friends, I only wish there were more hours in the day so I’d have more time for everyone.

SM: What is the best concert you have ever been to? Anyone you still haven’t seen but really wish to do so?

MS: Oh that’s really hard, I don’t have a no. 1 favourite, even though I have many great concert experiences. A Nightwish concert with Tarja in 2005 will always hold a special place in my heart since it was my first real rock/metal show. It was also one of the first bands I discovered with a female lead when I was 13, and this tour was the last one with Tarja in the lineup. I’m glad I didn’t miss it!

SM: Who is the last person you asked for an autograph?

MS: I think it was Emilie Autumn when I was 16 and visiting Berlin, and I was lucky that she played there that very week. It was my first time seeing here and it was a great performance with awesome theatricals and lots of fun and games. They had time for a meet and greet with everyone after the show - and she told me I had pretty eyes!

SM: Since the holidays are right around the corner, do you have anything you’d ask Santa for? What about New Year’s Resolutions?

MS: I could really use a wireless microphone since we jump around a lot and I usually get my chord wrapped up in something or trip in it. I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. If there’s something you wanna change, do it today and not until some social norm tells you to do so.

courtesy to : official Forever Still Facebook page21.

22.

What have we known under the sun? What have we done together? We have known love, we have known pain and sorrow, we have known happiness and sadness. We have known them together. In fact, I have never really known yours. You have known mine for me, and even stronger than I did myself. You were always there, always asking, always listening, always with the right advice. Never tired, never bored, never careless. When I would be sad, you would be the one not to sleep. When I would be happy, you would be the one to dance with excitement. What have I done? What have I said? What have I understood? Nothing. Exactly.

The saddest thing – I now know what it’s like. My turn has come to fall in love, to care for someone else more than I care for myself, to sacrifice all of my pleasures to make someone else happy, and to bathe in their tears of joy. But I have never thought of you. From the first day, right by my side, right behind my back, feeding me, like the roots a tree, protecting me, like the thorns a rose, keeping me alive while consuming yourself, like the wax a candle.

At some point, I will take my turn to have a child, the same way you have, and to make him the center of my universe. I don’t know if I will be as good as you have been for me, but I will try, I can promise, at least to honor you and make you proud.

Someone once said: “Stop planting flowers in the yards of people that aren’t going to water them.” “What a selfish principle!” you thought as you dug yet another hole into the ground to put in the biggest white rose you could come upon. Then you went on to removing a patch full of dahlias you had planted only two days before that were now dry, dead, no longer pink, but a midnight sky blue. And you seemed happy. You never asked me why I didn’t water them. Not once. You never complained and never stopped. Sometimes I would feel proud that my yard looked so attractive, yet I would never come to thank you.

Now there are no more flowers in my front yard. They have not been wasted because now I understand.

by Zaharia Rareș

our decades in the sun

What breaks my heart is that now, I cannot plant flowers in your yard anymore. Now, when I want to, I have to resign to planting them in front of your gravestone. Yes, I am watering these ones. Sometimes I am afraid not to drown them. I have never brought a bottle of water, or a bucket. I don’t need one because I am watering them directly from myself, with my tears. Because of you, I have spent the most beautiful decades in sun. It is my time now to realize the sky is not sunny. It’s full of clouds and rainy. It was you who was painting it blue. It was you who was drawing the sun in the corner of the page, the way you taught me to do it when I hadn’t even lived a decade in months.

For you, life was a race against time, a race to help me as much as you could and to win my love and attention before you drew your last breath. You didn’t make it, because of me. I am sorry, mom! I am sorry, dad! I was foolish, I was blind, I was disrespectful. I loved you, but I didn’t show it. I am sorry!

This is my story. You! Yeah, you, the one that reads it! Don’t let it be the same for you! Go hug your mom! Go talk to your dad! Your most beautiful decades were under the sun, with them, because of them! They are the first and the last people in the world to want all of your good, the only ones that have planted flowers in your yard every day, no matter the circumstances. Don’t let it be too late. Plant some for them as well. Raise the sun on their sky! Pass the decades beautifully! Cherish and love your parents!

“Your most beautiful decades were under the sun, with them, because of them!”

24.

26.

by Casiana Constantin

This issue is about gratefulness, especially about why we should be grateful to our parents for keeping us ”under the sun” in our early years. It is also a matter of self-respect.

The first fact I want to bring to discussion is that there is no perfect parent. Some parents may be too strict, some too permissive, but none of these denotes a correct attitude.

If you have strict parents, this might influence you in various ways: not being permitted to go out at night or to have outcast friends which can lead to different situations.

The good things are getting good grades in school and that getting accustomed to learning properly, in an organized manner, with a schedule and a good sense of time. Maybe some of you, controlled kids were even delighted to learn and maybe it was easier for you to choose your path, to find what you like.

The bad thing is that when some of these children with rigid parents get older, because of not having any idea of other types of people apart from their classmates they can easily be taken profit of morally or financially. Another mistake some children can make is acting too ”free”, being too much like a teenager in their 20s. They could be like a dog who got rid of its leash for the first time, which could put them in serious danger.

Alcohol problems can occur: young girls could have their telephones stolen or if they go to a club by themselves and they blackout men can pretend to be their friend or relative and take them home or even worse. Boys can also be affected: they can also have their things stolen or engage in violent conflicts, supported by their new ”bad-ass” friends.

Who knows which category of kids is more exposed to drug using? The ones with permissive parents who can try drugs from 12 to 18 quit or continue to use them.

OUR DECADES IN THE SUN

I guess this is related to one’s sense of reality and addiction, which can hardly be determined because of being related to many facts influencing one’s brain and affectivity levels.

Do not be afraid, having permissive parents is not better for you either. If teenagers are able to do whatever they want in their teen years, no matter if we talk about being permitted to go to parties or having money for a group of 5 per day that does not necessarily mean they make the best decisions or have the best friends you can imagine. Moreover, some of them go through too many experiences too fast for them to understand what is really happening with their lives.

Last but not least, it can be harder to fit into society or to decide which part of it you want to represent, to get involved in. The kids with permissive parents are more susceptible to being late, having no plan or not being able to follow a schedule.

The only good thing that can occur having “friendly” parents is that you can become really mature, responsible for oneself or even being able to take

care of yourself, to protect yourself from others which could want to abuse your innocence.

Most of the times, having curly hair makes you want straight hair and vice-versa, but this cannot apply to the types of parents mentioned. I cannot imagine how a parent can treat you both of these ways, that would make your mom and/or dad look absurd: just imagine that your are allowed to go to the mountains for a week with your weirdest friends and the next week you get punished for getting a low grade. Probably your parents are just trying to be better to you than their own parents, to correct some misleadings in their childhood (in the case of permissive parents) or just enforcing what made them the respectable persons they are today (in the case of strict parents).

No matter what you think now, even at the end of this issue, only time will tell that no matter how pleased or desolated you are concerning your present lifestyle it is or it will be just up to you to reach your goals and to make your demons surrender.

28.

“ [...] it will be just up to you to reach your goals and to make your demons surrender.

“

29.

Remember that if you take a look at today society, successful people can have any type of parents. It was only their choices, their guided interest to a subject, their decisions and their own will that made them be someone others admire.

The second fact I want to discuss is the matter of respect and gratefulness. Respect is hard to gain, as long as you are not respected you can’t be expected to respect. There were some moments when even our parents mistreated theirs.

One thing is certain: deep inside you have to be grateful about your parents: no matter the type they fit they made you the person you are: all your achievements were possible due to them.

Even if you are frustrated or successful the more you can do to improve your life is because of them. In the end you only want to become at least as good or better than them.

30.

31.

The light streaming through the window was always the first thing I noticed. When I crawled into your bed like it was a mountain and burrowed in the sheets between the two of you, I was safe, hidden from nightmares and monsters. Waking up hours later, the sun would shine through the cracks in the blinds, and I would feel warm and blissful.

The sun disappearing was always the last thing I noticed. When you tucked me in to my little bed, in my room with pink walls, I was still so awake, so alive. You would point to the window and say it’s dark outside. I would sigh and reluctantly agree. You would tuck the covers under my chin, kiss my temple, and I would feel warm and blissful.

During the day, all I wanted was sun. Clouds were the annoying acquaintance you just couldn’t shake. Rain was a dreaded enemy, keeping you from your happiness. I couldn’t play outside in the rain. We couldn’t play outside in the rain.

Warm and Blissful

32.

But then, being inside wasn’t so bad. We curled up by the fire, hot chocolate in hand, blankets as jackets, a movie on that we’d seen a million times. I would snuggle in with you two, drowning out the sound or torrential rain, and I would feel warm and blissful.

This year, the sun has come and gone, and the rain clouds have begun to move in. Yet, as I grow older, and you grow older, and as the weather changes, some things do stay constant:

1. You two are the first things I think of when I see light come through my window. 2. You two are in my head as I climb into bed and get under the covers.

3. You two are the people I want to have walks and picnics with when the sun shines across the land, just like old times.

4. You two are my inspiration for stay-in days in the winter.

5. You two make me feel warm and blissful.

As time passes, so do we all as people. But as the year draws to a close, we can stop for a moment and think about everything we’ve travelled through: where we came from, where we are, where we could be going. We can also think about everything we are thankful for.

I am thankful for the nights by the fire, the days in the sun, the night time cuddles and morning snuggles. I am thankful for the people who love me. I am thankful for you two, the greatest parents, who grew up with me, no matter what the weather.

Enjoy those who make you feel warm.

Enjoy those who make you feel blissful. I know I will.

Happy holidays, and happy new year!

by Nina Moskowitz

34.

“I was finally free to hug another part of me that had always been there, visible yet unseen by my own self.”

36.

We are the story of one

by Michela Sereni

To honour thy father and thy mother is a very well-known mantra, if you have been raised by Catholics. Or even if you haven’t, probably, since it’s one of the most ancient and rooted principles in the history of our World. It cuts both ways and can be a great, deep sign of respect, but also a chain that introduces you to a old-and-hard-to-break thoughts-cycle, especially when you’re close to abusive parents.

However, blood is not the only bonding method. The Wonderful Internet and its almost-total lack of sources has led me to believe that the famous saying “blood is thicker than water” has changed its meaning over time (the original, rumour has it, would have been “the blood of the convenant is thicker than the water of the womb“): history and linguistics books apparently have no trace of this process, unless you count That One Popular Dash Post on Tumblr as a valuable sign of it, but I’ll consider it true because I it better fits our current society.

Biology has been the biggest player for centuries; however, my personal tendency is to prefer choices over given information. If there are multiple paths and you decide to take that very one, instead of any other, well, that feels a bit more like commitment than genetics, to me.

What’s rarely said about dysfunctional families is that you might very well be sitting in the middle of one. Not under every aspect, not at its core, but a problematic one nevertheless. Parents are just people who happened (decided?) to have another, younger, smaller, person: they make as many mistakes as anyone else, generally speaking – only they carry around a tiny creature that will get influenced by their acting and words. We’re shown violent images on the TV, and we know mother shouldn’t beat their kids; we read of extremely abusive, hatred-filled speeches shouted by fathers to their sons, and we’re taught that’s not how it’s supposed to go.

37.

Sadly, as for everything else, the two opposite poles of the same scale contain endless, terrible steps in the middle: those are rarely spoken of, they’re slippy and harder to grasp. Even more arduous to notice when they’re around you.

I’ve found it confusing and, leaving the mental illness-related complexes out, it has led me to a perpetual state of perplexity: as a member of the family, I felt I was the only one allowed a valid report. Was I? Or was I too influenced? In parallel by contrast, was someone from the outside world able to properly comment mechanisms that could only affect a person soaked in them night and day? Are things as bad as they feel, or as good as they appear? Are we okay? Are we not? Is anyone, at all? Since I’ve never been spoiler free, I’m giving away my answer right now: I still have no clue, as for now.

In my years of psychotherapy and other kinds of treatments (a path hard to point out and crumbling as you pass by), it became clear that my Oh-I-Am-So-Over-It-I-Was-Just-An-Angsty-Teen-In-Middle-School behavior was quite untrue, nothing more than yet

another polished layer of subconscious lies I had been telling myself in order to survive.Among other things, the crack between me and my parents was showing in my relationships with other adults and myself. The balance is uneven, through to this day, and I swing from feeling detached or cool with it all (accepting my parents have flaws, accepting we have been thrown together by chance and that nobody’s guilty if we’re from totally different seas) to going back and believing in the mandatory love (which brings with itself a suitcase filled with duty, fake sense of devotion and blame, in my case).

Truthfully, with hindsight, I can tell I’ve been looking for a maternal figure since I was around 5: usually this role would fall upon teachers, but anyone that felt warm, faithful, stable to me was a nice candidate. That’s the kind I root for and look at with heart eyes emojis: people who have The Orange Aura aka people who feel like home and apple pie. Mothers. Indeed, it was hard to admit, easier to sigh in relief as I was finally free to hug another part of me that had always been there, visible yet unseen by my own self.

38.

I’m almost 20, and still looking. The journey is far from over. But I’m lucky enough to have found many different Mothers I can count on and identify with: it will come to an end when I’ll be able to either find it within me, or cope with the idea of that blank page being, in fact, blank, with no need to be written upon. Because that’s who I am, too.

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40.

How CHild-Parent relationsHiPs evolve

by Andreea Osu

It is believed that the relationship children have with their parents are the most genuine, primordial, important and, last but not least, one of the most important bonds we experience throughout our lives. This kind of strong connection has its own path, often interrupted by periods when its members it tend to not get along so well, but all these “fall-outs” do is polish their relationship. It happens in 3 mighty stages:

1.The “admirer” stage:

Oh, the sweet innocence of childhood. This happy period, when parents see their little “creation” as a bundle of joy, when skies are always blue regarding their bond.On the one hand, the child gets a strong admiring image of the parent. He or she looks up to them, believing their parents are the most wonderful people in the whole world and they are almighty and they will do absolutely anything for them. These superheroes, as they view them, would move the mountains, would gather the oceans, the meadows and the entire night sky, all in a bundle you can fit in the palm of your hand. Children feel protected by them and always seeks their attention or help in times of need.On the other hand, from the parents’ view, they get to experience childhood’s trials and riddles through their child’s eyes. All their curiosity and overawe gets transferred directly into their own minds, the result being that these grown-ups, as they call themselves, realize that being young and curious is still impregnated deep in their souls, thus they start reviving those feelings all over again. So, parents becomes the admirers himself, as they get to learn so much from this tiny human being. While their children discover the world for the very first time, the parent discovers it more and more, deeper and deeper, along with their child’s primal unravelling of its mysteries.

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Those being said, I would like to share with you this magnificent quote:“Sometimes when you pick up your child you can feel the map of your own bones beneath your hands, or smell the scent of your skin in the nape of his neck. This is the most extraordinary thing about motherhood - finding a piece of yourself separate and apart that all the same you could not live without.” Jodi Picoult, Perfect Match

2.The “overwhelmed” stage:

Also referred to as the rebellious stage. Now is the time when the parent-child relationship begins to shake.The teen has become autonomic. The notion of autonomy includes self-determination and self-regulation. The adolescent starts questioning everything he is told, from the feedback he gets from outsiders to his own feeling and beliefs. He/She is feeling like there’s a trick being played on them. Their whole mentality and certitude begins to fall apart piece by piece, only to be reconstructed from the base. The huge pressure applied on the teen is that they are aware that what they choose at this very moment is going to affect their character and personality their whole lives. This leads to loss of selfness, which makes them feel unaware of their own actions. They will feel like everyone is stressing them out, including their parents, who go from superheroes to just another burden in their path. Teenagers tend to withdraw from their mothers and fathers, so they can become who they are meant to be without being influenced by them.Parents, on the contrary, feel the need to become closer to their offspring by constantly pushing them to do and achieve things they may not want to, without realizing that they mentally hurt the teen. They obviously don’t do it on purpose, this is just how they approach the situation. The secret is that they are absolutely frightened themselves of the new stage in life their child experiences.Teens and parents of teens have admitted that they would like to do something in order to improve their relationship with one another. They have also admitted that they are not feeling ready to do so. Their reasons? Maybe it is commodity or fear of worsening the situation.

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3.The “understanding” stage:

Here is the stage when children begin to understand their parent’s reasons or motives for acting their way. It’s the stage when the earlier called “children” become adults. They accept widening their mentalities and mending the bond, they become more tolerant and they start admiring their parents all over again. After they notice that mom and dad were right from the very beginning they come into being acceptant of their beliefs and morals.If you find yourself on shaking ground in your relationship with your parents, always remember that it does get better. You only need to give them a chance to help you, acknowledging this is all they ever wanted to do.It may have been a long run, a bumpy road full of obstacles and drags, but it will always eventually get better. Always.These being said, we can all agree that this path you and your parents have been through has benefits on both sides: while you evolve and explore the unknown, they also grow along with you and find out things they didn’t even know about their own selves. Of course you couldn’t have realized it when you were little, or maybe you haven’t learnt it by now (and there is no shame if you haven’t, as long as you will keep it in mind from now on), there is one thing you will always need to remember when it comes to parents: you must take care of them as much as they take care of you.

Social Watch

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Dress Codes, Rape Culture, and Unenlightened America

by Sofia Burton

Sexism isn’t what everyone says it is. It’s not always in the form of socioeconomic inequality or job-associated risks. It is, however, your mother screaming at you in the morning because what you’re wearing “provokes” the school, even though it is within the written dress code. She also tells you that she “doesn’t like you riding the train like that,” when clothing doesn’t matter in terms of sexual or verbal assault. In fact, assuming so is blaming victims and perpetuating rape culture. When a person goes through assault, it’s never their fault. To assume so is inadvertently excusing their abuser and what they did, even if it wasn’t meant to do so. Furthermore, what someone wears is not going to protect them from “low lives and perverts.” Because they take what they want no matter what their victims are wearing, consequently making clothing irrelevant.

While dress codes and the older generation have a tendency to be sexist, what’s not recognized is how unenlightened their actions are. The famous Enlightenment philosophe, John Locke, believed in natural rights to life, liberty, and property. In addition, Voltaire had the ideas of separation of church and state and freedom of religion. These are the fundamental ideas that America was built on. Obviously, not all of those are intertwined with dress codes. But, it relates. A nation that once had some of the most progressive laws and principles in the Western world has developed into a society that deems certain pieces of fabric and skin as inappropriate. How unenlightened are we when we gladly televise, promote, and glorify things like war and the killing of foreign civilians, yet throw a fit over a girl showing 4 inches of thigh or a boy wearing a loose tank top?

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Dress codes violate not only the individual right to expression, but Constitutional property rights. Speaking for the adolescents of America, our bodies are our property. Not the school’s, and not authority’s. Dictating what should be worn directly infringes on that, and is an unfixed ill in the system. Even if it is meant to prepare us for the corporate world of professionalism and modesty, it’s unnecessary. Firstly, we’re in high schools, not at the offices of Wells Fargo or Goldman Sachs. But more importantly, an individual’s worth is not based on solely their appearance, and as previously conveyed, to take away the right to express yourself under the guise of “modesty” is unenlightened. It’s sad and pathetic for America to be this conservative about how its citizens express themselves, and truly demonstrates how spineless and offended most of the older generation is. Because of their refusal to move forward, the future generations are being persecuted in an unnecessary, aggravating, and oppressive way.

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“[...]an individual’s worth is not based on solely

their appearance, [...] to take away the right to express yourself under

the guise of <modesty> is unenlightened.

”

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Book Reviewby Simona Mihalca

Powered by Editura Litera

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Our final review of the year brings a very interesting selection of books. As always, we want to give you

options, show you something fun, something to read, something to learn.

The Look Book – Ținuta Perfectă pentru orice ocazie

The book by Nina Garcia does exactly what is promises, it gives you tips and tricks on how to achieve the perfect look. It can be your best friend, one filled with illustration, advice and many, many fun parts.“What should I wear today” is a question almost everyone faces constantly, especially us, girls. There is so much importance put on what to wear and how to wear, the obligation to adhere to society’s norms and yet create your own style. Now you have some help for that. As the author says “Style is about fun. True style is not about having a closet full of expensive and beautiful things - it is instead about knowing when, where, and how to utilize your collection.” You can take her word for it. After all she’s been the Fashion Director at Elle, now doing the same for Marie Claire, all while being a jury member of Project Runway.

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The only thing we love more than love stories are stories about love, stories that transcend their character and deal in universal truths. That is the case with The Girl With Glass Feet, a book taking you to the remote & snowbound archipelago of St Hauda’s Land. Over there can you find not only magical winged creatures and albino animals but also Ida Maclaird, the main character of the book, the girl who is slowly turning into glass. All that started when she came to these realms to visit and now she has returned in search for a cure. This book is like a fairytale, a poetically beautiful fairytale. Yet it’s more reminiscent of the original fairytales, with the flow of the writing and the very detailed descriptions. We do recommend you read it this winter

Fata cu picioare de sticlă

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There is no shortage of disasters in the world, that’s why we must be prepared for them. First of all, this is a book for smart people. Still with us? Good! It follows Blue Van Meer, just your regular American teenager. Or is she? With her mother having passed away when she was 5 and an eccentric father who moves around from city to city, she is not one of us per say. Their close relationship sparked her interest in new adventures, in savant quotes, literary history and quantic physics. What normal 15 year old doesn’t like quantic physics?Obviously, the status quo has to be broken when Blue finds the dead body of her favourite teacher. The disaster. You will now have to follow her apply all she has learn and go deeper into science, literature, politics, movies and piece everything together.

Curs special de fizica dezastrelor

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We sure do love psychology. How else can you find out who you are and what the world around you is? There is so much that psychology can explain and so much that can leave you wanting answers. This is a crash course, showing you the fundamental ideas, written in an accessible language to make everyone interested in discovering what it has to say. Whether you have read into the subject before or this is your first try, you have something to learn from it. More than that, you have something to make you think, to make you wonder! What makes us human, what makes us unique and yet the same? What triggers us and what‘s the limit between the conscious and the unconscious? Now you can find out!

Psihologie – idei fundamentale

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Happy Holidays!

Isn’t it wonderful how the atmosphere suddenly changes around Christmas? The city looks as it usually does, until one day, when an explosion

of colours occurs and everything seems to turn into a dance of lights and joy. People start decorating their home and you can hear carols

almost everywhere you go. Even the family’s Grinch starts laughing, singing and sharing

happiness with those dear to them.

Isn’t that a little bit strange?

Over one of my favourite cups of tea, I find myself meditating about this whole “Christmas

Magic” thing. What makes this winter holiday so special? Is it the presents? Could it be the smell

of oranges and cinnamon (I swear there’s no Christmas without them)? Is it the excitement

we see on our friends’ and family members’ faces?

Maybe it’s a mix of all of the above. Still, I find it very interesting that such simple things can turn

some ordinary days into pure magic.

Christmas Magic?

by Andreea Albulescu

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Therefore, there has to be something more – something greater than we can see.

It’s the time we spend with our dear ones, both

friends and family. It’s the warmth and the inner peace that fill our hearts. It’s the smell of

Christmas that we sense only during this time of the year. It’s the “I’m coming home” feeling for

those living far away and the hope of making the others just as happy as you are.

Basically, these Christmas feelings exceed the

ones we go through on a daily basis, since they are a sum of emotions, that perfectly blend into

a glaze which covers our hearts, making them look more like Christmas cakes (with cinnamon

and oranges, of course).

This strange, yet beautiful phenomenon of getting “Christmassy” is, without a doubt,

the “most wonderful time of the year”. Unfortunately, since it cannot be completely

explained through science, we have to think of it as something magical that makes all the efforts and sweat put into finding - or making (for the more crafty ones) the perfect gifts to wrap and

place under the Christmas tree worth it.

Now that my cup of tea is almost empty, it’s time to put my Santa Hat on and start doing

some serious shopping. Oh, I’m already humming carols…

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Christmas Fair

I was walking in the park and laughing with my friends when we decided to go to the Christmas

Fair. We heard great things about it, we have never been there and since it was December, we thought it would be a great idea to go there and

have some fun.

When we got there, we felt bewildered, over-awed and circumspect, all of them at the same time. There were colourful fairy lights every-

where and even a beautiful Christmas tree in the centre of the fair. My friends and I stopped walk-

ing so we could entirely admire the fairy lights and also take a few pictures of them.

We made our way into the Christmas Fair, we bought a map and we found out that the fair was divided into three big sections. The first sec-tion was the one with the ornaments. We slowly approached it and then we walked through every single shop that was in that area. There were tree

ornaments, fairy lights and even hand-made decorations. Everyone was unusually polite with each other and we left that section with four bags

full of decorations for our houses.

The next section we wanted to visit was the one with the presents. We were very excited to see

what presents we could find for our families and our friends.

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After going in more than four shops, we realised that there were presents for all types of people, it was unbelievable what a wide range of pres-

ents was there. We spent at least an hour in that section, we just could not decide what presents to get for our families, all of them were wonderful.

Even thought we were exhausted, we decid-ed we would still want to visit the last section of the Christmas Fair, the one with restaurants and fast-food shops. After walking around for a few minutes, we realised that there was food from at

least fifty countries from all over the world. It was crazy! There was food from China, India, Mexico and so many other countries. There was a restau-rant for every country so you could taste tradi-

tional food from any country that you would like.

After discussing with each other, we decided we would want to go in the Chinese restaurant as we have never eaten Chinese food before. We felt a bit unnerved given how we did not know if we made the right decision. After only five minutes

of waiting, our plates were ready. At first, we took only a small bite to see how the food was like, but

then we couldn’t stop eating. It was one of the best meals we have ever had in our lives!

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After one more hour of chatting and having fun with my friends, we started to realise how exhausted we really were and we decided to go

back home. Even thought we did not go again at that Christmas Fair that year, in the next years,

we were always the first ones to visit it, trying out different foods, buying presents and admiring the

amazing ornaments.

by Delia Cocos

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WINTER TRADITIONS IN BUCOvINA

by Ruxandra Sevastin

Bucovina is my home. Bucovina is the most beautiful region in Romania. At home, we celebrate each Holiday like we participate on a contest and we need to impress the jury. Although winters are really cold, joy and happiness are a part on everybody’s life. Every village in Bucovina has its own traditions and customs to welcome Christmas and New Year. Those traditions are combined into a whole and spread all around the city of Suceava.

Now… let me tell you something about Bucovina’s Winter Holiday Traditions.

At home we follow the rules of Christ-mas by the book. Folk customs and winter traditions belong to the spiritual culture. These customs have a deep and significant impact in social life and families.

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The winter traditions begin on 6th December (St. Nicholas’s Day) and they last until 6th January (St. John’s Day). In that month, almost everyone is decorating their houses with lights and cinnamon pepper. Around Christmas, it’s custom to return borrowed things because it’s bad luck to enter the New Year with loaned stuff.

On the morning of Christmas Eve, women go out and throw rice to feed the wild birds preventing them not to harm the spring trees. They also put a brick in the oven, believing that this is the way to keep the snake away from the family. The snake symbolizes the evil, anger and fights. In the same morning women hid the knives and forks so the house will be full of healthy babies.

Another tradition that is still used nowadays is that of predict the weather for the next year with the help of an onion. How is it done, you ask? We cut a large juicy onion in two equal halves, from top to bottom. Then we separate the two parts into twelve layers and arrange them in a plate. These twelve layers symbolize the months of the year, starting with January. We place a teaspoon of salt in each onion cup, andin the morning we have some layers covered with water and some of them with no water.

Those that have water represent the rainy months and those without water mean that the months will be dry. This method, I must admit, sometimes works out perfect. Haha.

The tables are full with fruits, bread, red wine, peas soup, garlic soup. Nobody is allowed to serve until the arrival of the priest. The priest is invited in to bless the dishes, the house and the people living inside. Another important moment on this day is decorating the tree. The Christmas tree is a symbol of a long and prosperous life. While decorating the tree, everybody is singing carols and welcoming children who are coming to spread the word: “Baby Jesus is born!”. When the caroling is over, we pay the young singers with fruits, money and knot-baked bread. It is custom in Bucovina to visit the unmarried girls. While caroling, if the girl thinks someone from the group is cute she will invite him for a talk.

In Bucovina, we are thought to believe in the ancestors’ spirits; it is said that on Christmas Day they are coming back to life. The ancestors mean us no harm. To remember them, we wear masks and costumes. The popular ones are The Bear, The goat, The doctor, Horsemen, Old Woman and Old Man.

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We like spending time with our families all over the year, but since many of us are living, studying or working in other cities, when we get together on Holidays we have a lot of fun like there is no tomorrow.

If you ever get the chance to visit Bucovina don’t miss a second and buy a ticket. Bucovina is amazing in rain or sunshine. There is always a reason to have a drink, to laugh and have a good time. Bucovina isn’t all about Monasteries. It also stands for great people and fantastic food.

Merry Christmas to all of you and a Happy New Year!

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