Tapping for Children Workbook - Dr. Kim...

Copyright © 2015, Dr. Kim D’Eramo

Self-Healing for Children Through EFT Tapping

Kim D’Eramo, D.O. www.DrKimD.com

This workbook and its associated audios are intended for parents and child caretakers to use for themselves and with

the children they love.

Audios, bonuses and other free resources can be accessed at: www.TappingKids.com.

Your questions, experiences and comments will be eagerly addressed at: [email protected]

I wish you well with your endeavors for ideal health, and look forward to serving you!

-Dr. Kim D’Eramo


Introduction:

The National Institute of Mental Health reports that 1 in 8 American children suffer from anxiety. That’s an estimated 9.3 million kids. Most go untreated or are treated with medications that can have harmful side effects. This can lead to lifelong challenges, educational problems, increased risk of substance abuse, and even chronic illness as an adult. Often, however, anxiety can be easily addressed at a young age and prevent years of future suffering.

The stress chemistry associated with anxiety is the major underlying cause of most every chronic medical illness most Americans die from: Cancer, Diabetes, Heart Disease, Obesity, and other illnesses. Long term anxiety is also associated with childhood depression and suicide. Anxiety causes impairment in school and work performance, and can lead to social and developmental impairment. For these and other reasons, it is extremely important to address and reverse childhood anxiety as early as possible.

Medical management may at times be indicated to manage symptoms of anxiety, however our current medical system is limited in identifying and addressing root causes that underlie symptoms.

The best approach is one that includes the diagnosis and treatment of acute symptoms as well as removes underlying cause. EFT Tapping has been found to do both, and is an excellent adjunct to medical management.

How do I know if my child has a problem with anxiety?

There are 3 Questions parents can ask to determine whether a child may have an anxiety disorder:

• Is your child more shy and withdrawn than other children his/her age?


• Is your child more worried than other children his/her age?

• Has your child had any significant illnesses, traumas or other incidents that could be thought to induce stress?

It is normal for young children to have some degree of anxiety when around unfamiliar people or settings, however, typically a child can be distracted from these feelings. If your child is unable to leave you, has experienced a traumatic event, continually focuses on unwanted thoughts or feelings or is compelled to repeatedly perform rituals in order to feel more at peace, you want to consider that your child may harbor anxiety.

If your child has undergone hospitalization, physical or emotional trauma, or a significantly stressful experience he or she may harbor anxiety even if there is no other evidence. It is worth having a conversation with your child to get information about how this event has been processed to see if they are managing significant amounts of stress and experiencing anxiety.

Consider that your child may have anxiety if he/she:

• Worries excessively about things • Is hard on his/herself or strives for perfection • Avoids social events or conversations • Has experienced a traumatic event • Continually focuses on unwanted thoughts or feelings • Is compelled to perform rituals in order to feel better • Is unable to leave you or is highly distressed for long

periods when you leave • Refrains from speaking in certain situations or is

excessively shy • Has an irrational fear of a specific object or situation • Has had a traumatic event in the past

If any of these sound like your child, EFT Tapping to release anxiety will powerfully change your child’s experience of themselves and their life. Even if you suspect your child may have a small degree of anxiety, Tapping is an excellent way to alleviate this and prevent overt problems from developing.


Why use EFT Tapping for kids with anxiety?

Anxiety is one of the most common mental disorders experienced by children as well as adults. If not sufficiently treated, this can create physical disease, impair socialization and prevent healthy maturity and development.

Anxiety is also one of the symptoms most easily addressed using EFT Tapping. EFT Taping is safe, free from side effects, and can be used as an adjunct to any medication, procedure, or other healing modality.

Typically, results are immediate and often there is complete resolution of symptoms when used correctly.

How do children typically exhibit or express anxiety?

There are 3 ways children typically present:

1. Physical Symptoms: Children do not typically complain of “anxiety.” They often somatize their anxiety, meaning that instead of experiencing it emotionally, they experience it in their body in the form of physical symptoms. Sometimes a stomachache, headache, or pain in the body is the result of anxiety.

The child’s persistent physical symptoms frequently cause parents to seek medical treatment by a physician who may find “nothing wrong” with the child. However, unless the underlying anxiety is addressed, symptoms will continue and can worsen.

2. Social Fears: A second way children present with anxiety is with social withdrawal or social fears. Shyness is often seen as just a personality trait; however, this can also be an indication of anxiety. Children may avoid social situations and prefer to stay home. They may also clingy behavior and complain that they do not want to be left alone by parents. Sometimes the child may experience physical symptoms when confronted with social situations such as a party or a sporting event, which precludes them from participating in the event.


3. Behavioral disorders: A third way children present with anxiety is with behavioral challenges or anger outbursts. When children are difficult to communicate with, or exhibit fits that are uncontrollable, there may be underlying anxiety that has not been dealt with. These circumstances must be handled very carefully to make the child feel safe expressing what is going on.

NOTE: Children with severe symptoms may be given medical diagnoses such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Panic Disorder, Separation Anxiety, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, among others, depending on what symptoms and events have been involved. EFT Tapping can be of massive value to help address any of these disorders. It is not, however, a substitution for medical evaluation and management. Tapping is an excellent adjunctive support, and can in some cases eliminate symptoms entirely.

What is the best way to approach a child with EFT Tapping?

The best way to approach a child for EFT Tapping is to make it fun and interesting to them. Kids want to feel better, so if you let them know what’s in it for them, they are very often game!

Kids are also very intuitive with Tapping. They tend to connect in their bodies more easily when introduced to a method to do so, and they tend to use it on themselves more naturally than adults.

Here are steps to follow:

1. Introduce this new idea. Say something like: “I’ve been learning a new way to calm myself and make my body feel great at any time! Do you want to try it?” Then show them the points to tap on their body. Explain that these are special areas that send new information to calm their body. Let them get used to the points and learn the areas to tap.

2. Ask them how they are feeling. A good place to begin is with the physical body and any physical sensations. Ask the child if they have any pain, feel tired, or are bothered and annoyed by anything


going on at school. Kids will typically bring up their MPI “Most Pressing Issue” and you can begin there.

3. Tap using their exact words for the first round or two. Even if you are aware of underlying issues, refrain from bringing the tapping to that level for the first round or so until the child gets comfortable with tapping and with sharing these things with you.

4. Ask them how they felt during the tapping. Have the child check in with his/her body. Ask if anything felt strange, or if any ideas or sensations came up.

5. Proceed with another round of tapping on what came up, OR introduce suggestions for the child to tap on.

6. Suggest practice. Let the child know that he/she can use this tool at any time on his/herself to calm their body and switch a bad mood, focus more clearly or enjoy their day more fully.

How do I know what to tap on?*

• Start where you are: Always begin with where the child is now. Even if you are aware of an experience or event that triggered the anxiety, or an underlying concern your child has, ask him/her to express their understanding and begin with that.

• Establish trust and safety: Children must feel a sense of safety and trust in order to open up emotionally so be mindful not to push them to go deeper with emotions before they are ready to share.

• Begin by connecting with the physical body: Begin tapping on physical sensations they have expressed, such as “this feeling in my belly,” or “this pain in my head”, then see if deeper emotions come up like “I don’t like feeling this way.” -OR begin with an experience or idea your child is expressing displeasure with, such as “He took my things,” or “My teacher is so mean.” Emotions will come through later.


• Then go to emotions: Tap on any emotions that come up: frustration, dislike, anger, and sadness may be expressed in other ways, so be on the lookout for them during the tapping.

• Introduce affirmations: Once you feel like the child has connected with his/her emotions and tapped on them, you can begin to release them and add positive affirmations such as: “I want to feel better about this,” or “I want to feel confident at school and enjoy myself.”

*NOTE: the most important way to be of value to your kids and help them with anxiety or anything else in life is to be present in your body!!! If you are not present in your body, you carry your own level of anxiety and this alone will trigger your child. Breathe deeply, feel your body and keep part of your attention on your own body as you connect with your child. This is the best way to know what to tap on, and to feel the shifts as they occur.

How is tapping with a child different from tapping with an adult?

-Children are generally far more intuitive than adults. They are closer to our natural human state of connection with the body. Closing ourselves off to our emotions is a learned behavior and we have been living in a society that encourages this, and has encouraged our disconnection. Children have not had the same extent of this training, so they naturally connect with their body and their emotions. They have, however, typically learned not to let others know about it, so they must trust you and comfortable with you in order to share. Once you establish trust, however, by maintaining a loving, non-judgmental attitude, children will often open and shift very very quickly.

-Children typically have fewer layers to the problem or illness they are experiencing. With adults, there may be several layers that comprise a medical or emotional problem, and it may take a few


sessions before things entirely clear up in their health and outer life. However, children have not had years of this trauma building up in their life, so things are often much simpler, even when symptoms are extreme.

Typically, after I have a single session with a child, they experience relief of symptoms and learn to use tapping to care for themselves.

How do I create a tapping script?

Here is my strategy for creating a tapping script:

When I interview a patient for tapping, I write on a paper and create 3 categories:

Physical - Emotional - Mental

These are the Physical Symptoms, Emotions, and Thoughts/Events they have relative to the problem or illness we’re addressing.

As they talk about their experience of illness, I enter what they say into one of these categories. For example: “I always get sick and can’t make plans socially” is a thought. It’s an idea about what is going on. So this goes into the “Mental” category because it’s a thought.

“I’m worried that I’ll never get better” is an emotion, so I’ll write “worry.” If they say: “The pain is in my low back and worse when I bend forward,” I put that under physical, because it’s part of their physical experience of the problem.

You can do the same with your child to get clear on what you’re tapping on, however, I do not recommend writing things down in the beginning! Just let your child express as you play with this new tool and navigate his or her world together.


Here is the format and questions to get clear and find what to tap on:

Physical –How does your body feel? Are there any sensations, pain, fluttering or tiredness? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Emotional -How do you feel about this? Are you frustrated, angry, worried, lonely…? (See what intuitively makes sense to you.) ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thoughts/Events –What happened? What does it mean to you? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Once I’ve created this list, I know what to tap on. The process is simple. Here are the basic steps:


Steps for EFT Tapping with a Child

§ Find the “MPI” (Most Pressing Issue) by asking the child what’s bothering them and using their own words

§ Ask the child to tune into their body and tell you how much it bothers them from 1-10 (10 being most severe)

§ Use “setup phrase” on karate chop point 3 times (optional)

§ Use “trigger phrase” on Tapping points (see video and chart)

§ Breathe in and breathe out together with child § Retest by asking child to tune into their body and

see if they feel better, then scale severity from 1-10 § Ask the child how they feel now and if anything

came up (ideas or feelings in their body) § Tap on next MPI and repeat

Why is it important to tap on myself if my child is experiencing challenges?

I highly recommend tapping on yourself FIRST before introducing this to a child. Your energy –mental/emotional state – directly impacts your child and the people around you. Children are very sensitive to our energy, especially the energy states of their parents. Many adults live in a state of chronic anxiety, rushing from place to place, overworking, and overwhelmed with managing family, finances, health, and life. This does not serve our children (or any aspect of our life!)

The best thing you can do for your child is to address and clear your own anxiety and other lower emotional states. If you are frustrated after a long day at work, tap on the way home, or as a ritual before you walk into the door. If you are experiencing challenges in your relationships, tap to clear the stress and create harmony. If you are


overwhelmed with being a parent, with working, with life in general…I guarantee your kids are feeling it and will react. Save them the stress and take care of yourself! When you nurture and clear yourself, you really do heal the world.

I have worked with thousands of patients in groups and I’ve included some ways to support you with this below.

Homework for Parents and Caretakers:

The most important factor in your ability to help a child using Tapping is that YOU are in as clear a state as possible. That means using Tapping to clear your own physical/emotional/mental triggers is of utmost importance! Even this step alone can create results for your child where he/she no longer exhibits symptoms. I have seen this very often in my practice working with adults.

Here are some comments made by people I have worked with regarding the behaviors of people around them:

“This is amazing. My 4 year old’s night terrors have disappeared. Our communication has improved tenfold! I didn’t realize until now how my negative and chaotic energy was impacting my kids. Truly amazing work with Dr. Kim!” –Sharna D.

“My sweet little Tyler (he's 4) was having multiple night terrors every single night for about two weeks. Some nights he'd be up as many as 5 or 6 times. I knew he was responding to my fear, because no matter how brave I pretended to be, the terror I was feeling permeated the entire house. After doing this work with Dr. Kim, he hasn't had a single one since. He's been sleeping peacefully all night, not even getting up to pee. I'm so grateful!” –Juliet B. “My relationship with my husband is completely different and I keep having all these really positive things happening for me. It is just amazing. Thank you, Dr. Kim!!” Lisa S.


“Prior to this work, I'd consistently dealt with anxiety that brought negativity into my business, my marriage, and my interactions socially. This work eliminated overblown anxiety from my life and replaced it with confidence. The advancements in my business and my relationship are a direct result of this work. I recommend working with Dr. Kim to anyone who wants to get more out of life.” -Clay R

Do the work on yourself! It will pay off in spades in your own life, and in the life of your child! I am here to support you with this and welcome your questions. Just email me at [email protected].

Here are steps to clear your own state prior to addressing your child:

Go to DrKimD.com/FreeTools for my “Instant Elevation Technique” video!

1. Breathe: Feel your body and breathe deeply. Even just 3 deep breaths can get you present in your body, but begin with at least 10 so that you practice and become adept

2. Feel your body: Focus on how you feel referent to your child, (or anything else coming up in your life.) If you are worried about your child, for example, this fear or concern creates anxiety in your own body.** The field your body emits directly and continuously affects your child!!! You MUST take responsibility for feelings of fear, powerlessness, anger, or frustration that are coming up referent to dealing with your child or your child’s challenges.

**NOTE: As a parent myself, I know these emotions can be powerful and overwhelming. I am thankful to have had tools to release lower emotional states so that I do not pass them on to my child. I highly recommend you seek any support you need with this. It is even more important that treating your child. I am available and have created programs to support you with this!


3. Find and rate your MPI (Most Pressing Issue) from 1-10, 10 being most severe.

4. Tap: If you are unclear and just know you are worried about your child, begin there.

a. Tap on physical symptoms you have or things you are dealing with. Headaches, tension, a messy house, are all part of your physical experience of the stressor.

b. Tap on the emotions: the worry, the concern, the fears, the overwhelm, the powerlessness….all of it.

c. Tap on the events: the doctor telling you your child needs to be on medications, the time when he/she melted down screaming and you didn’t know what to do, the time when you were so tired and did something you wish you didn’t do, the pain the child is having….etc.

4. Breathe: Breathe in and out a BIG breath! I cannot emphasize enough the power of the breath. I’ve taught entire sessions just talking about the anatomy, neurology and mechanics of how our breath cleanses and heals our body. Make sure you use it often!

5. Rate your MPI again: your 1-10 intensity may have decreased, increased, or stayed the same.

a. If the intensity has decreased, great! See if you can get it to a 3 or below.

b. If it has increased, great! You have dug up deeper emotions that are the root cause of your challenge. This is what you want to tap on next.

c. If you are exactly the same, try again…but it is likely that you need to go deeper with Step 2 and feel into your body more fully so that you can really connect with your MPI and move it!!

6. Repeat steps 2-5: Feel your body and see what else is coming up during the tapping (ideas, thoughts, emotions.) Find your next MPI


and tap until you are at a 3 or below before tapping or spending time with your child.

Note: I have created a video teaching you my “Instant Elevation Technique.”

Go to DrKimD.com/FreeTools for that free video!

BONUS Homework:

Schedule tapping into your daily routine. Plan times when you will tap. During the drive to school is a great time to do this with your children. You can each tap on what you are concerned with and what you hope to experience in your day. Tap until there is a feeling of certainty and eagerness about this outcome.

Another great time to schedule tapping is before you come home to be with your children at the end of the day. Often we neglect our inner state when transitioning from one activity to another. We end up carrying stress from work into our family lives and home. A great way to support yourself is to use EFT Tapping at the end of your day before you engage your children or family. Tapping helps you to clear your day and fully present to your family or other evening activities.

Tapping Scripts to Do With Children

Visit www.TappingKids.com for free videos of how to Tap with children!

1. For a child with Physical Symptoms:

• Ask child to rate intensity of symptoms from 1-10 (10 being most severe)


• Say 3 Clearing Phrases while tapping Karate Chop point. Tap through things the child is aware of and talking about.

“Even though my body doesn’t feel good, I choose to let all of this go now.” “Even though I’m hurting, I choose to feel good instead.” “Even though I have this pain, I choose to let it all go and relax.”

• Now, tapping the central points with the trigger phrase:

“This pain in my body” “The way I feel right now” “I don’t like it” “I feel bad” “My head hurts” “My stomach feels funny” “This feeling in my body” “This problem I’m dealing with”

• Then breathe, and retest intensity 1-10.

• Ask the child what has come up through tapping and see if there are events, emotions or feelings he/she has about this physical symptom, then tap on those.

“I don’t want to feel like this” “I’m bummed” “It’s yucky and annoying” “I don’t know why I feel this way” “I’m worried I might not be able to have fun” “I know right when this started” “and now I’m still feeling bad” “I’m upset about all of this”

• Breathe in and breathe out together, and reassess how child

feels.


• Add an affirmative round once child has improvement.

“I already feel better” “I know my body just needs some attention” “and I can give it that” “I can give my body what it needs” “and it will feel better” “My body is my friend” “and feeling my body is the way to connect” “I always love being in my body” “even when it feels bad I can listen and feel better”

2. For a child with a social fear or who is feeling emotionally upset in any way:


• Say 3 Clearing Phrases while tapping Karate Chop point. Use the child’s own words.

“Even though I don’t want to go with the other kids, I choose to love and accept myself fully.” “Even though I want to stay home, I choose to just let that be and relax.” “Even though I don’t want to do this, I love myself and choose to be at peace.”


“I don’t want to go” “I’m afraid of what might happen” “I didn’t like that last time” “The other kids all looked at me” “I don’t want them to see me like that” “I remember what happened” “That was terrible” “Please don’t make me go”



• Ask the child what has come up through tapping and see if there

are more fears, concerns or any anger present, and tap on this. If there are other thoughts or events that relate to this, tap on that too.

“I know what happened last time” “I remember the whole thing” “I didn’t want to be there” “I felt really scared” “No one was there for me” “Everyone made fun of me” “I hate them” “I am so embarrassed”


feels.

• Add an affirmative round once child has improvement.

“I already feel better” “I can share what I’m feeling” “and I feel better” “It’s okay to share how I feel” “Everyone feels that way sometimes” “My body is always there for me” “Feeling my body is good for me” “It’s good for me to open up and share” “and give my body what it needs”

3. For a child with a behavioral challenges or anger outbursts. Note: it is best to have a conversation about Tapping and practice using the points prior to using it during an acute episode.


Also: It is especially important in this case that you are free from your own charge of emotions, and have sufficiently tapped out any frustration, overwhelm or resentment for what you are dealing with as a parent. This will make an enormous difference in your ability to stay calm and present while your child releases emotions that would otherwise be difficult for you to hear.


• Say 3 Clearing Phrases while tapping Karate Chop point. Focus on the anger or behavior at hand.

“Even though I am really angry, I choose to open and be at peace.” “Even though I don’t know what to do with myself, I choose to honor my body and relax anyway.” “Even though I can’t help acting this way, I am ready to love and accept myself fully.”


(Please note that at times harsh language may be beneficial. When we express language of anger while tapping, we are opening up deep spaces within to be released. If your child uses harsh language, you might consider allowing it here for the purpose of allowing self-expression. I have often seen this reverse the need to use this type of language in the future.)

“I am so angry” “I don’t know what else to do” “No one will listen to me” “This world sucks” “I hate everyone” “I will never forgive you” “Everyone is always trying to make me do what they want” “and I don’t want to do any of it”



• Ask the child what has come up through tapping and see if there are more fears, concerns or anger present, and tap on this. If there are other thoughts or events that relate to this, tap on that too.

“I’m still really upset” “I don’t really want to let anyone in” “No one deserves it” “I’m just so angry” “For all the things that have happened” “It’s not okay” “It’s not okay that any of these things happened” “I will never let it go”


feels.

• Add an affirmative round once child has improvement. In this case, a child may express remorse, which is a positive sign, however you must allow them to release that too so they do not hold onto self-blame. Continue tapping until there is self-love and self-forgiveness as well as a sense of ease with others.

“I feel a bit better now” “I’m glad I let that out” “It’s been really hard for me to carry that” “and not be able to share it with anyone” “I know I act crazy sometimes” “and just go nuts on everyone” “But it’s just because I’ve been so mad” “and holding that all in” “I’m glad there is space now for me to let this go” “and be free from all of that burden” “I don’t want to act like that” “but I had no other way” “now maybe I do” “There is space for me to let it out” “and not hold all of this in” “I will look for ways to be patient with myself” “and create the space to feel free”


FREE Bonuses:

I’ve created free resources for you and your children:

1. Video training series for how to explain tapping to a child and how to use it for yourself to improve your relationship with your child.

2. Tapping video for children. Watch this with your child to introduce your child to tapping and teach them how to use it on themselves.

3. Audio download meditation for your child to listen to before bed to release anxiety and sleep peacefully.

Go to www.TappingKids.com and enter your name and email for access to all bonuses as well as continued support from me.

I am also available to address questions, and would love your feedback!! Just email [email protected] now and we will connect soon!

Blessings for you and all of the children in your life.

Be well! -Dr. Kim

Kim D’Eramo, D.O. is a physician, speaker, and bestselling author of “The MindBody Tool Kit.” She is board-‐certified in Emergency Medicine physician, and trained at Emory University’s Grady Hospital in Atlanta. She attended medical school at University of New England College of Osteopathic Medicine, where she also completed fellowship training in Osteopathic Medicine, Medical Gross Anatomy and Neuroanatomy. Dr. D’Eramo healed herself from a chronic illness doctors told her would be life-‐long and require medications. She now teaches internationally, to empower patients with tools to immediately reverse symptoms and activate the body’s healing capacity. Dr. D’Eramo has researched for


decades the pathways through which the body heals itself and has formulated this into multiple tools that can be used anywhere to repattern the brain, send new messages to the body, and restore ideal health physically, emotionally and mentally. Dr. D’Eramo conducts online group training programs, and speaks nationally to doctors, medical students, and the general public for training in MindBody Medicine. Dr. Kim has appeared multiple times on local and national television as well as multiple media publications. Receive your free MindBody tools today at: DrKimD.com.

Tapping for Children Workbook - Dr. Kim...

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