Tamed and Loved

7/31/2019 Tamed and Loved

1/46

TamedandLoved"Whatarethesegrades?"AnotherYelanscolding."Youhaveeyesdon'tyou."Ianswered."Don'tbesmartwithme."Shesaidsternly."I'mnotbeingsmartaboutit.I'mmerelystatingtheobvious.""XiaoLang.Yourretortsarealmostaspatheticasthesegrades.NowIknowyoucandobetterthanthis."Sheraisedthepapertoeyelevel."Youwilldobetter.""Isthatall?"Hereyeswiden,sheloweredthepaper."Whenhaveyoubecomelikethis?"Hervoicelosingit'spower."Whenyoudecidedtocontrolme."Ilefther,sowhatifIwasrude...itdoesn'tmatter."Youdidn'thavetobesorudewithher."Meilinsaid,sheleanedagainstmydoorframe."WhosaidIwasrude."Iwalkedpasther."Itwasn'tbeingrude,itwastellingthetruth.""Ihopesomebodycantameyou,evenifitisn'tus.""Tame?IsthatwhatIamnow,ananimal?"Shedidn'tanswerback,Ishutthedooronherface."Idon'tknowanymore."Shewhispered,itwasquietbutloudenoughformetohear.WhydidIevencomehereanyway?IstoodonthebranchofthetreeinthebackofTomoedaHigh.Iwatchedasthestudentsmingle,disgustedasboysshowedaffectiontotheregirls.

"Howcananybodybeinlove?It'saninsulttoaman'spride,anotherreasonformentolookweak.Allsacrificedforawoman,eveniftheycanneverhaveher."Thestudentsrushedintoclassasthebellrung.Mightaswellskip.Ijumpedoffthetreeandlandedswiftlyontheground.Iheardascreambehindme,Iturnedaround.Awomanwasontheground,herfacehiddenbehindherbookbag."Youcandropthedefenseact,it'snotlikeI'mgoingtohurtyou."Shelookedupfromherbookbag,sheopenedhereyes."I'msorry,yousurprisedme."Shesaid,Icouldn'tseeherface,itwashiddeninshadow.Iwalkedtowardstheschoolgatewhenshespokeup."Um,I'msorry,butcanyouhelpmefindRoom219?I'malittlelost."Myhomeroom.Soshe'sjustanewstudent."Justgototheoffice."Isaid."Idon'twherethatiseither."Shesaid,ahintofembarrassmentinhervoice.

Isighed."IguessthatmeansI'mgoingtoclass."Ipulledthedooropen,lettingitslamintotheframe."Youdon'thavetoopenitwithsuchforceLi."Mr.Himako."Idon'thaveto,butIdidanyway."Thelookinhiseyemighthavescaredoffanystudent,itdidn'taffectmeonebit."Whydoyouevenbothercominghere?"Hedidn'taskitasaretoricalquestion,hewantedmetoanswer,hewantedtoknowhimself.Slighttensionfilledtheclassroom."Ano?"Iturnedsideways,thegirlstoodthere,theclassandtheMr.Himakostaredatherinquestion."Youare?"Mr.Himakoasked,thegirlstraightenedherposture."I'mtheTokyointern."Theteachersmiled.

"Ah,yes.Ms.Kinomoto.Youmaycomein.""I'msorryI'mlate,Igotlost."Theytalkedforafewminutesthenheturnedtotheclass."Class,thisisyournewEnglishstudent-teacher,Ms.SakuraKinomoto.SherecentlycameherefromTokyoUniverstiytotrain.IhopeyouwelcomeherheretoTomoeda."Theclassweregivingsilentjudgementonher.She'sateacher?Shelooksmuchyounger."Hello.It'sapleasuretomeetyouall.Ihopewegetallalongthissemester.Sorry,ifIgetclumsyorforgetful."Shesmiled,thestudentspassedher."Ms.Kinomotoyouwillstartyourclassnow,Li."Heturnedtome."Sinceyou're


2/46

here,youshouldsitinyourseat."Iwalkedpasttheseatsintothelastrow,theseatwheretherewerenolights,adarkcorner."Okay,class.Let'sbegin."Thewholetime,Ikeptmyeyesclosed.YetnomatterhowhardItried,Icouldn'thelplisteningtoher.Hervoicewassosoft,clearandlight.Itwassoothingtome,Iclosedmyeyesandheardhersound,notreallyherwords.Whentheclassended,Istayedthere,studentswalkedouttogetlunch.What'sthepointofgettingoutifyou'recomingback."WheredidIputit?"Ms.Kinomotolookaroundherbookbagforsomething.Shesighedassheleftitonthefloor."Lostsomething?"Shejumpedup."Youdogetsurprisedthateasy.""Sorry,Ididn'tknowanybodywasstillintheroom,theyusuallygostraighttolunch.""Ifyoulearnedanything,itsthatI'mnotthesameaseverybodyhere."Isaid,shesmiled."Ofcourseyou'renot,nobodyisthesameasanother,we'reallunique.""DoyouevenknowwhatI'mtalkingabout?""Youweretalkingaboutsomethingelse?"Shetiltedherhead."Nevermind."Igotupandwalkedpasttheseats.Shewasrightinfrontofme,Ilookedupstraightintohereyes.Emerald."Howoldareyou?"Curosityovertookme."Youdon'tlookold.""I'mtwenty."Fouryearsolder."Howdoessomeoneyouragebecomeastudent-teacher?""Ineededtodoaousidejobinordertograduate,Iwasgoingtobeateachera

taKindagarten,buttheymixedupthepapers,soI'mhere."Shelookedaround."It'snotbadthough.Thistownisstillthesame.""You'vebeenherebefore?""IusedtoliveherewhenIwaslittle,butImovedtoTokyolater."Sheturnedtome."Wherewereyouborn?""HongKong.""China,Iknewit."Shesoundedproudofherself."ButwhywouldyoumoreovertoJapan?""Iwastryingtorunaway."Isaidquietly."Fromwhat?"Hervoicewavered."Nothing."Imuttered,sheknewthatshewasn'ttoaskanymoreaboutit."Whatisyourname?""Whydoyouwanttoknow?"

"Well,Iamtheteacher,Ineedtoknowatleastonenamebytheend."Toanyotherteacher,whetherastudentornot,Iwould'vescoldedthemorturnedcoldtowardsthem.Withher,andthatsmile,Isaidmyname."Li.SyaoranLi.""Syaoran."Shemuttered,tryingitout.Howwhatisthathermerelysayingmynamemademyhearpoundalittlefaster,thatthewayshesaidwasdifferent,thatitwasspecial."Youshouldcallmebymylastname,you'renotthatclose."Shewastakenback."Okay...Li."Thatnamewasdifferent.Whenshesaidit,noringwasadded,itwasn'tanythingspecial.Itwasn'tmyidentity,itwasthenameofthefamilythatwantedcontrol.Tomanipulateeverypartofmylife,nothingwasspecialthere."TellI'mskippingtherest.""W-why?"

"Heonlywantedmeheretomaketheclassnotlookbad.Nowthatit'sover,I'llleavenow."Iturned."Ano?Whereisthecafeteria?"Sheasked."Ilostmylunch.""Youloseeverythingdon'tyou.""Sorry."Shemuttered."I'lltakeyouthere,butthenI'mout."Shenoddedandfollowedme.WhyamIevenhelpingheranyway?Icould'vejustsaidnoandleftfaster.Somehow,IknewinsidethatIcouldprobablyneversaynotoher,Irefusedtolistentothatthough."Here."Wewererightacrossfromit.


3/46

"Thankyou."Shesaid,Iwalkeddownthestairsoutsidetheschool."Idon'twanttomarryher!Haven'tIrepeatedmyselfenough?"Ibangedondesk,mymotheracross."Youhave,butyouhavetomarrythisgirl.Youwould'vehadachoice,butinyourstate,theeldersdon'tthinkyouwillbeabletofindsomeonesuitabletobeyourwife.""Sothisslutis!""XiaoLang.Youhavesaidbeforeyoucan'tloveawoman,sowhynotjustmarrythisgirlandruleovertheclan."Yelanstoodbesidethewindows."Whataboutyourdaughters,they'remorethancapableofrunningthisfamily.""Womenaren'tallowedtoruntheclan.""Youhave.""Iamonlyastand-inuntilyoubecomeofage.""Thenstayone,youhavedoneagoodenoughjob.""Theelders-""Whattheelderssaymeannothingtome!"Ithrewthewoodenchairacrosstheroom,shatteringintopieces."Whattheysayisconsideredlaw.Thisisn'tjustaboutyou.Youhavetogiveup-""I'vegivenupmyentirelifetotheLiclan.Ifyouhaven'tunderstandmother,I'vealreadygivenupenough."Yelantensed,hereyeslowered."Xiao-""Understandthis,Ineverwantedtobepartofthisfamily.""Youdidn'thaveachoice."

"Istilldon'thaveachoice."IwalkedoutofthedoorpasttheworriedMeilin.Theydon'trespectme,sowhyshouldIdorespectthem?Iwonderedintothepark,thepenguinparkempty,usuallykidswouldcrawlaroundhere.Thecoldmust'vemadethemgostraighthome."It'snoteventhatcold,thoseparentsworrytoomuch."Myparentswouldjustleavemeouthere.Iwalkedovertothesakuratreeneartheback.Unliketherestofthepark,someonewasthere.Sheturnedaroundandsmiledatme."Hello,Li."Ms.Kinomotosaid."Shouldn'tyoubehome?""I'dratherbehere,it'sbeautiful."Shesmiledatme,thewindpickedupandraisedherhair.I'dhavetoadmit,shewasattractive.Hercream-coloredskinglowedbythesunlight,hersparklingemeraldeyes,hersoft-pinklips.Herclothestightaroundherebody,aroundhercurves.

"Itis."Isaid,shesmiledatme."Sohowcomeyou'rearen'thome?"Sheasked."That'sthereasonwhyIcamehere.""Istheresomethingyou'rerunningawayfrom?""NomatterwhereIgo,Icanneverrunawayfromthem.""Youcan'talwaysrunaway,sometimesyouhavetofaceit."Shesaid,sheleanedagainstthetree."Ihave,butIdiditforsolongI'mtired."Ileanedbesideher."Thenrelax."Sheturnedtome."Thenwhenyou'reready,tryagain."Shesmiled,shelookedatherwatch."Ihavetogo,Ihopeweseeeachothertomorrow."Shewavedherhandandwalkedaway.Iwatchedher,therewasalightskipinherstep."Hope?"Whywouldshewanttoseemeofallpeople.It'sprobablybecauseshe's

ateacher.Thatwasthenicestthingshecouldthinkoftosay.Ifeltdisappointed.That'sall,there'snobodywhowouldactuallywanttoseeme.DoIgoin?JustafewmorefeetandIbeinsidetheschoolcampus.Ishould'vejuststayedhome.Thebellrung,insteadofgoinginIturnedrightonacorner.What'sthepoint.Iturnedanothercorner,andhitsomebody."Sorry."Thereshewasagain,Ms.Kinomoto.Sheregainedherbalanceandboweddown."Youshouldwatchwhereyou'regoing.""Sorry."Shelookedup."Hasn'tschoolstarted?""You'relate."Shecheckedherwatch.


4/46

"We'rebothlate."Sheranpastme,shethenstoppedandturnedtome."Aren'tyoucoming?""Idon'tusuallycometoclass.""Oh,okay."Shesoundeddisappointed.Whyshouldshebe?Sheturnedaroundthecornerfrommysight.Ihaven'tgonetoschoolinthreestraightdays,sowhydidIgetthesuddenurgetogo?Andwhysoearly.Itwasatleastanhourbeforeschoolstarted.Nobodywashere,noteventheteachers.Atleastthere'snobodyheretoaskquestions.Iwentupthestairsintotheclassroom.Nobodyelseishereeither.Iwentinsideandclosedthedoorbehindme."Who'sthere?"Somebodyasked,Itensedalittle.Iturned,Ms.Kinomotojumpedupfromunderthedesk."Whatwereyoudoingdownthere?""Lookingformypen.Idroppedaroundhere...Holdon..."Shelookedatme."Whatareyoudoinghere?Ithoughtyoudon'tusuallygotoclass."Shesaid,itwasmorelikeatease."Ijustfeltlikeit."Shesmiled."I'mgladyoudid."Sheturnedaroundandlookedthroughherbookbag.Ifeltmycheeksgetwarm,Whywouldshesaysomethinglikethat?"Shouldn'tyouhaveasuitcaseorsomething.Withthatbookbag,youlookmorelikeastudent.""Well,Ialreadyhaditforschool,Idon'twanttowastemoneyonsomethingI'llonlyusefornineweeks."Sheturnedandsatdownonthedesk."Idon'tthinkyou'reallowedtodothat."

"Ican'tsitonthedesks.CanI?"Ishrugged,shejumpeddownandwenttotheback."Thisiswhereyousitright?""Yeah."Shesatinit,shestretchedherarmsandlayedherheadonthedesk."Whatareyoudoing?""IwokeupsoearlysoIwon'tbelate,butI'msotired.Night."Sothat'swhyshe'sheresoearly.Butwhat'sthepointifyou'regoingtosleepanyway.Isatintheseatacrossher.Iwasplanningonskipping,butIguessnowthatmeansIhavetowakeherup.Shewasstillsmilingeveninhersleep."Howcananybodysmilethatmuch?"Ididn'tleavethatentiretime,Ididn'tfindherboringatall.Iexaminedeveryfeatureonherface,intheparkshehadthatsweater.Butnow,shehadasimpleshirt,herbodywasn'tbusty.Shewasn'ttoosmalleither,shehadtheperfectbody."Li?"cameintotheroom."Whatareyoudoinghere?"

"DoIneedtohaveareason."Hislipsthinned."Whoisshe?"Hepointedtothegirl."That's,shefellasleep."Helookedatmestrangely."Ididn'tdrugher."Atthatmoment,shewokeup."Isschoolstartingalready?"Sheaskedme,sherubbedhereyes."Inabouttenminutes."Mr.Himakosaid.Shejumpedfromherseat."Mr.Himako,I'msorry,Iwastakinganaphere.""It'salright,wedon'twantourteachertofallasleepwhileteachingdowe?"Hechuckled.Igotupandwalkedpasthim."Wheredoyouthinkyou'regoing?""Home.""Yousaidyoudidn'tneedareasontobehere,sothatmeansyoushouldn'thaveareasontoleave."Iglaredathim,Iwentbacktomyseat."Youhavetomoveformetostay."Ms.Kinomotobrushedpastme,butthatslight

touch,Icanfeelmybodywantingtoholdher.Whythough?"I'llbeouttogetthenotesfortodayMs.Kinomoto,andLi.Don'tthinkaboutleaving."Heclosedthedoor.Webothstoodquiet."Areyougoingtoleave?"Sheasked,Icouldn'tseeherface,butshesoundedsad."Youwantmeto?"Soshewantsmegone.Sheturnedtome,hereyeswide."No!That'snotwhatImeant,Imean...thatyousaidyoudon'tusuallylisten,soIthoughtyouwouldjustleave."Sheloweredhereyes."I'llstay."Shelookedupatme."Unlessyoudon'twantmeto.""Iwantyoutostay!"Shecoveredhermouth,sheblushed.Iraisedmyeyebrowat


5/46

her."You-""GoodmorningMs.Kinomoto."Onegirlsaid,shecameinthroughthedoor."Goodmorning.TellMr.HimakoI'llbeintherestroom."Sherushedoutwithoutevenclosingthedoor.Whatwasthatabout?Itwasnowlunchtime.Doingthissameroutineeverydayisboring.Isatinthecornerbetweenthetwostairs,girlswouldgivemetheoccasionallook.Iignoredthem.ThenIheardthosefootsteps,regulargirlshadthosehardsannoyingsteps.Maybetheywantedtobeheard,evenifnotheardbythereownraspyvoices.Thesefootstepswerelight,Imemorizedthem,Imemorizedhereveryfeature.Ilookedupandwatchedasshedescendeddownthestairs,herhandontherail.Shestoppedinthemiddleandstaredatme."Youeverheardthatstaringwasrude."Shehidhereyesunderherbangs."Sorry."Shewalkeddown,sheturnedthecornertothenextstairs,herfootwentbehindtheother.Herbodylowered,somehowinthenextfewsecondsIgrabbedherwaistandpulledherback."Youalright?"Shenodded,herlegsintertwinedwithmine,myarmsaroundherwaist,hereyesstaringintomine."Um..."Shetriedtomove,herfaceendedupcloser,sheblushed,wemovedclosertoeachother.Hereyeswiden,sheliftedherselfup,herchesthoveringoverme.Howwouldyouactinthatsituation?"Sorry."Shefixedhershirtandturnedquickly,runningdownthestairs.Igotupandwatchedher.WhydidIwanttokissher?Istilldo...Theweekendcamein,Icouldn'tgotoschoolbutIdidn'twanttostayhomeeither.Iwonderedaroundthearea,furtherout.Iwalkedthroughthetree,thefore

stthatsurroundedapartofTomoeda.Iheardvoices,whydoesitsoundfamiliar?Iwalkedclosertowardsthesound,auburnhairseen.Istayedhiddenbehindthetreeandwatchedasshesmiledandmovedaroundthebushes."IthinkIfoundsomeoverhere."Shesaid,Iheardaman'schuckle."That'snotitatall."Themanhadblackhairandbrowneyes.Hewasatleastafoottallerthanher."Doyouevenknowwhatitlookslike?""Thenwhydidyouaskmetolookforit?""Iregretitnow."Shepouted."Meanie."Shereallyisachild."Ididn'tmeanit,wehaven'tseeeachotherinyearsIthoughtweshouldcatchuponthings."Shesmiledathim."I'vemissedyou,Touya."Shehuggedhim."Metoo,Sakura."Hehuggedherback.Iwalkedaway,Ididn'twanttoseeanythi

ngelseatthatpoint.Soshealreadyhadsomeone,whydoIcare?Whydoesmyhearthurtthismuch?Threedayspast,thatimagestillinmymind.Whowasthatguy?Howdoessheknowhim?Whydoesthiskeepbotheringme?Iwalkeddownthehallway.I'matschool,andIdidn'tevenbothertogotoclass.Herfacepoppedupinmymind,Iwantedtoseeher...howpatheticIam!Ibangedagainstthewall,itwastheendoftheschoolday.Iwalkedupthestairstothesecondfloor.Iopenedthedoortomyclassroomandrighttherewasher.Shewasholdingpapersinherhands,sheblushed."Hello,Li."Shestuttered.Iwalkedpastherintotheclassroom."Wereyousick?""What?"Sheturnedtome."Youweregoneforawhile,Ithoughtsomethingmust'vehappenedtoyou."

"TheLisaren'tknowntogetweakthateasy.Especiallytoasimplecold.""O-ohokay.Thenwhywereyou-""Ididn'tfeellikeitalright.WhodoIhavetoexplaineverythingtoyou.It'snotanyofyourbusiness!"Myhandswiftlypasther.Thepapersfloatedaround,theycoveredherface.Whentheylandedontheground,atearfellonthefloor,Ilookedupatherfacethatwashidden."I'msorry."Hervoice,asobbreakingthrough.Shebendeddownandpickedupthepapers.Twomoretearsfellontheground.Isighedandbendeddown.Shestoppedmovingherhands."Ishouldn'thaveasked,itwasn'tinmyplaceto-"


6/46

"It'salright-""No!Itwasn'tI'msorry-"Icuppedhercheekandclosedinonherlips.Theyweresosoft,itwasamazinghowmuchpleasureitgaveme.Ifelthertenseup,butsoonrelax.Ipulledherbodyclosertomine,Iwipedthetearthatwasstillonhercheek.Ipulledaway,hereyesopenedslowly."Yousaysorryalot."Sheblushed,shegatheredtherestofthepapersandstoodup."Whowasthatguywithyoutheotherday?"Iasked,confusiononherface."Guy?""Thatguyyouwerewithintheforest."Shethoughtforamoment."Theonewithblackhair.""Touya?"Sheasked."Whydoyouwanttoknow?"Ipassedmyfingersthroughmyhair."Idon'tknow,Ijustsawyoutwo,andit'sbeenbotheringme.Imean..."Ibangedthedesk."Nevermind,it'snotmybusiness."Iwalkedpasther."He'smybrother."Ilookedbackather,sheturnedherhead."Justincase,youwantedtoknow.We'vebeenseparatedforfouryears,Iwastakeninbymymom'ssideofthefamily.Mybrotherwaswithmydad,webothcouldn'taffordtoseeeachotherorevencontact."Shepattedthepapersdown."SowhenIcamehere,wemetupand...yousawtherest.""Yougetalongwithyourfamily."Isaid."Ilovethem,myfamilycaresaboutme.""Myfamilydoesn'tcareaboutme,theyonlycareaboutusingme.Tolistentotheredemandsandpassthem,tomarryarichslutwhothinksshehasitall.Toha

veeverypartofmylifecontrolledbythem,tonotevenhavethelifeIwanted."Ileanedagainstthedoorframe,Iwatchedherfrombehind,thesunlightlitherbody.Iwantedtoholdher...evenifshepushedmeaway."Ithinktheydocare."Shesaid,"Theymaynotshowit,buttheydoloveyou.Theycan'talwaysletyoudowhateveryouwanteveniftheywantedtoo."Iwould'vetoldheroff,tellherthatshewaswrong.ButIcouldn't,Ialreadymadehercryonce,Idon'twanthertocry.Especiallybyme...WhydidInotanswerherback,wasitbecauseIknewshewasright?Hervoicehypontizedme,helpingmeseewhatIwasn'tseeing."Alrightclass-"paused,Iopenedthedoorandcloseditbehindme.Theclasscontinuedtostareatme."What?"Theyallbrokeoutoftheretrance,coughed."Li...whatareyoudoinghere?"

"Whatdoesitlooklike."Ianswered."Ithoughtyoumight'veskippedout.""Ididn'tfeellikeit."Iwalkedtothebackandsatonmyseat.Isatback."Youain'tgoingtoteach?"Heclearedhisthroat."Alrightclass..."Iclosedmyeyes,Ipaidnoattentiontohisvoice."NowI'llpassoutthepopquizzesyoutookyesterday."Theclassgroaned,Ileanedbackinmychair."Hira,youcantryharder...Asakigoodjob...Li..Yougoteverythingright..."Thewholeclasslookedatme,Ishrugged."Idon'tneedit,throwitaway."Hestraightenedupandwenttothenextstudent.Ilookedatthefront,shewassittingonthecorner.Shesmiledatme,Ilookedawayfromher."Alright,nowgotolunch."Theclassleftincludingtheteacher.Shewalkedovertomeandsatintheseatinfrontofme.

"Gettinglunch?"Sheasked,Ishookmyhead."Idon'tlikebeingaroundthere."Imuttered,shesmiled."Youlikecomingtoschoolnow?"Sheasked."Yeahright.""Thenwhydoyoucome?""...Idon'tneedtotellyou,doI?"Sheshookherhead."No,ofcoursenot."Afterschool:IwaswalkingdownthehallswhenIsawherstrugglingtryingtocarryahugebasketofflourandpapers.BeforeshelostgripIliftedthebasket.


7/46

"You'renotthatstrongyouknow?"Isaid,shenodded."Theartgradeteacherneededsomehelpgettingthistoherroom.IsaidIcouldhelp."Shesaid,Imovedthebasketinsidetheemptyroomandplaceditonthedesk."Don'tdothingsyoucan'tdo."Isaid,shenodded.Shewasabouttomovethepaperswhensheslippedgrabbingthebasketofflouralongwithher.Ahugepowdersmokewaseverywhere."Youarereallyclumsyaren'tyou?"Isaid,thesmokestartedtoclearup."Nowdoyou..."Shelookedupatme,athinlayerofflourwasoverher,thepapersrightunderherstickingtoherlegs."Great...Icannever-"ShewasinterruptedasIplacedmyhandovermymouth,Istartedtoshake."Whatareyou-"Ireleasedmyhandandstartedtolaugh.Shedidlookfunny.Ilandedonthegroundholdingontothetable.IfIdidopenmyeyes,Iwould'vesawthatshewasblushing,andtriedtocleanuptheflouronher.Istoppedlaughinglongenoughandlookedather."Youlookedfunnyyouknowthat?"Sheblushed."Youlaughed..."Shesaid,Icamebackintomysenses."Holdon,I'llgetsomewetpapertowels.""Youdostupidthings."Isaid,Igaveherthepapertowels,shestartedtocleanherselfup.Whenshewasdone,Isawasmudgeonhercheek."Missedaspot."Iplacedmyhandonhercheekandwipeditoffwithmythumb.Shelookedatme.

Weweretooclose.Ipulledaway,shegotupandstraightenedup."I'lltellherwhathappened."Shesaidwalkingoutoftheroom.Isighed.IfIdidn'tpullaway...Ihavetobemorecarefularoundher.Forthenextfewdays,Iwatchedherasshetaughttheclass.Ialreadyknewthelanguagesowhatwasreallythepoint?GrowingupasaLi,yougrewupmemorizingeverylanguageintheworld.It'sapain,butitdoeshelpeveryonceandawhile."Readpage79through82andtranslateit.Thatwillbeyourhomeworkdonextweek.Anyquestionscomeaskme."Theclassleft.Sherelaxedandwalkedovertome.

"Howmanylanguagesdoyouknow?"Sheasked."Toomanytocount."Iraisedmyeyebrowather."Why?""Nothing,youjustpasseverytestwith100.AndsomeotherwordsIhaven'teventaughttheclassyet.""There'snothingelseformetolearn."Imuttered."Thatcan'tbe,eventhesmartestofpeoplelearnsomething."Shesaid.MyclanwouldmakesureIkneweverything.Whatdoesshemeanbythat?Whatelseisthereformetolearn?Great...justgreat...Ithrewthephotosintothetrashbin.Allofthemgirls,snobbybustystuckupgirlswhospenthalfoftheirlifeonshoppingandcosmeticsurgery.

"BeingaLiisn'tabenefit,it'sacurse."Imuttered."There'snotevenoneinthereIwouldevenconsider.""Whatwasmymotherthinking?"IwalkeddownthehallintothebackwhenIheardtheirvoicesoutsidetheoffice."YesIunderstand-""Idon'tthinkyoudo.Heneedstofindabridenow-""Westillhavetime-""Yousaidthattwoyearsagothatyouwouldfindasutiablebrideforhim.Wedon'tseeanyimprovement.""Heislookingoverthephotosaswespeak-"


8/46

"Thatisn'tenough.Youhavetoforcehimto-""Iwillnotforcemyownsonintoanyofthis!I'verushedhimsincehewasyoung!Idon'twanttolosehim..."IwalkedawaybeforeIheardanythingelse.Thoseeldersknownothing.Ican'tstandthem.BeforeIwasoutofearshotIthoughtIheardher."EventhoughIalreadyhave."Iwalkedoutofthehouse.Itwasn'talwayslikethis.Iusedtobehappyaroundmymother.Shewouldalwayssmile,tellstoriesandplayaround.Theelderskeptpersteringthough,eventhoughmymotherwastheheadoftheclan.Shedidn'thavecontrolasonemight'vethought.SortoflikeCongresscontrolsthepresident,sheismerelytheface,thefront.Theeldersheldher,controlledeveryone.Istartedtopullawayfromher,weslowlygrewapart.Iwouldtrytolistenatfirst.Trytoreasonwithher.Thatdoesn'twork.Istartedtotalkbacktoher,argue.Iknowsheisn'ttheoneatfault.Ican'ttakeitoutontheelders.SoItookitoutonher.Madthatshecouldn'tchangetheserules.Stopthemfromtakingovermylife.Peoplewantedmylife.I'dgladlyexchangeit.

Iwalkedintotheparktorelax.Itwasmyonlyplacetoreallyescape.Itwasclose.Therewasanotherplace,butIdon'tfeellikegoingthereatthistime.AsIwaswalkingtothetreeInoticedshewasthereagain."Whatareyoudoinghere?"Iasked,shelookedupatme."Thistreeisyours?"Ishookmyhead."No,it'sapublicpark."Isatdownbesideher."Ican'ttellyouwheretosit.""Youcan,youjustchoosenotto."Ileanedbackagainstthetree."Doyouliketotwistmywordsaround?""That'snotwhatI'mdoing...I'mfindingtherealmeaningbehindwhatyousay.""Ithinkthat'scalledtwistingyourwords."Shetitledherhead."ThenIguessIwasdoingthat."Shesaid,hersmilegrewwide.

"Doyoulovetosmile?Or..."Sheopenedhereyes."WellIdon'twanttobeangryallthetime,Idon'tlikefeelinglikeI'museless.Ithurtswantingpain."Shelookeddownatme."Whydoyoufeelangryallthetime?"Iopenedmyeyes.Ialwaysseemangry...IgrewupfeelingthiswayIdon'tknowhowelsetofeel.There'shasn'tbeenareasonformetosmile."I'mjustam.Noteveryonecanbehappyallthetimelikeyou."Hersmilefaltered."Actuallytheycan,theyjustsometimesdon'twanttoshowitcausethey'reafraid."Iraisedmyeyebrow."Afraid?"Shenodded.

"Andalso...notallofthemhavefoundtheirreasontosmileyet."Shelookedupatthesky."Youhaven'tfoundyourreasonyet?"Hereyesreflectedinnocence.Asheraura.Ihaven'tfoundmyreasontosmile.Unless..."Imight'vefoundone."Iwhispered."Areyoujusttryingtomessupor..."Wewerebothinaroom,kidswererunningaroundeverywhere.Shewastryingtohelpthisonegirlgluepapertogether,akidbumpedintoherthoughandandthetopfell.Thegluespilledeverywhere.


9/46

"Youjustlikemakingamess."Imuttered,howIgothere.Idon'tremember."Youdidn'thavetocomehere."Shesaid."You'reright."Isatintheseat,onekidwalkeduptome.Ilookedathimwaitingforhimtodosomething."Gonnastandthereandwatchme?"Helaughed."Isaidsomethingfunny?""Youhavechocolateinyoureyes."Hesaid,Ilookedathimconfused."What?""You'reeyesarechocolate."Inoddedandthenknewwhathewastalkingabout."That'smyeyecolor."Icroucheddown."It'snatural.""Oh...sohereyearen'tcoveredinleaves?"Heasked,pointingtoher."No,shehasemeraldcoloreyes."Ipointedtothenecklacetheotherhad."That'semerald.""Ah!That'saprettycolor!"Shelookedoveratus."Makingafriend?"Sheasked,Igotup."Idon'tknow."Isawthekidpullmyshirt."Yeah?""Shehasprettyeyesright?"Heasked,IlookedoveratSakura.Shedoeshaveanicegleam.Aslightsparkle.It'slikeyoucanseethroughthem.Andloseyourselfinthem."Neah?"Ilookeddownathim."Yeah,shedoes.""Nowthatwasn'tsobadwasit?"Sheasked."Itwasn'tbadforme,itwasn'tforyou?"Iasked."Ofcoursenot,Ilovechildren!"Sheexclaimed,throwingherhandsup.

"That'swhyyoudecidedtobeateacher?"Shenodded."Yes,andonedayIwanttohavekidsofmineown!I'llbuythemclothes,feedthem,tellthemstories,playwithth-""You'regoingtoadopt?"Iasked,shefurrowedhereyebrows."No,I'mgoingto...wellyouknow."Sheblushed."Unlessyouwantaonenightstandyoushouldprobablyfindsomeonetodate.Youknowaboutthedatingprocessright?"Shenodded."Idatedwithsomeguys,noneofthemwerereally...well...Ididlikethembutitwasn'tamorethanfriendslike."Shesaid."IwanttomarrysomeoneIlove.Notbecauseoftheirmoneyorlooks.""...Themarriageisn'treallythatgreat."Shelookedatme."Whatdoyoumean?"Sheasked."Imean...Yousee..I'vebeengettingforcedtomarrysinceIwasborn.Iwasexp

ectedtomarrysomeoneofhighclass.Andgivethestupideldersanotherpuppettheycancontrol."Isaidbitterly,thatwasbasciallyit.TheguyhastomarrysomeoneandproduceadescendentoftheLiclan.Andmarryinggirls,thewaytheyareis...Atleastmyownmotherwasn'tlikethat.Mysistersareannoying,buttheyhavegoodjudgementonwhatguystheywanttodate.Theyhaveachoice.AndIdon't."Wow,Iguesspeoplewouldn'tlikemarriageeitheriftheyhadtobeforcedintoit."Shesaid."Soyoudon'tbelieveinlove?""Love?"Iasked.Ithoughtaboutit."Itmightexist,butitmightnotbeforeverybody.Ifyoudolovesomebody,whe

ntheyhurtyou.It'soneoftheworstpains..."IcoughedbeforeIsaidanythingelse."Youwillhavesomeonetolove."Shesaid.Shelookedconfident."Youbelievethat?""Yes,Ijustknowyou'llfindsomeone!"Shesaid,shesmiled."Idon'tthinkIwill."Isaid."Don'tthinklikethat.Nextthingyouknow,you'llfindsomeone.It'snothard,wellitmightbe...Justdon'tlooktoohard.""WhatifIalreadymissedit?"Iasked."Ifyoutwoaremeanttobetogether,youwillbe."


10/46

"HowwouldIknowIaminlove?"Shesmiled."You'lljustknow."Shesaid.Know...Idon'tthinkI'llknowlikethat,Imightnothavetolookthathard.Iguessthenextdayfewdaysshehasbeentalkingtomemore.Wealwaysseemtomeetinthepark.HowisitthatIfeelmorerelaxedaroundher.AsifIcouldatleastbemyselfaroundher.EventhoughI'mafraidtodoso.She'soneofthosepeoplethatyoucanactlikeanything,andshe'llstillacceptyou.Toacceptsomeone...likeme."Areyousomesaintorsomething?"Iaskedheroneday,shelookedupatme.Shewassittingontheseatontheteacher'sdesk.Iwassittingonthedesk."Asaint...noI'mnot."Shesaid,Iraisedmyeyebrow."Yousure?""Why?"Sheasked."Thewayyouact,youarejust...tooniceandlookwayyoungerthanyoudo.""ThewayIlookastodowithbeingasaint?""No...it'sabenefit."Isaid,shesmiled."Peoplestillmistakemeforateenager."Shesaid,gradingsomepapers."Mostwomenwouldwantthat."Isaidbitterly,thosegirlsweremadeofplastic.Fake."Well,Iguessyoudon'tappreciatethingswhenyoudohaveit."Shesaid,lost

inthought.Ididn'tappreciatethingsinmylife.Iwasyoung,thinkingitwouldalwaysbelikethis.Iwaswrong."Youokay?"Sheasked,Iblinkedtwice."Yeah."Isaid,roundingmyshoulders."Really?""Don'tworry,I'mfine.Iwasjustthinking."Shenoddedandwentbacktograding.Youhavetohavesomeflaw.Somethingwrongwithyou.Beinglate,notfindingyourway?Thosearen'thugeflaws.It'sdifferent.

Youcan'tbeperfect,andyouaren't.Youarereallyclosetoit.Tooclose."Haveyoueverdoneanythingwrong?"Iaskedher,itwasthenextday.Weseemtobetalkingmoreandmorerightafterschool."Whatdoyoumean?"Sheasked,sittinginoneofthestudent'sseats."Imean,haveyoueverdonesomethingwrongthatmadeyouwanttobeagoodperson.Karma?"Shetiltedherhead."Iprobablydid.""Probably?"Iasked,sheclosedhereyes."Idon'tremember."Shetried.Scrunchinghereyes."Don'thurtyourself."Imuttered,sheopenedhereyesandblushed."Nobodyisperfect.Evensaintshavedonesomething,eventhesmallestthing."S

hesaid."Iguessso."Shesmiled."Yousayweirdthings."Isaid.Shealwaysanswersbackwithsomethingthattakessomethought."Ido?""Iguesswithagethere'snowisdom."Shepouted."I'mold?""You'reolderthenme."Isaid,slightlychuckling.Sheblushed."You'reinhighschool,we'reonlyafewyearsapart."Shethenlookeddown,thinkingbeforeshelookedupatme."Wouldyou..."Ileanedintowardsher,tryingtohearher."Wouldyoustillhav


11/46

etalkedtomeifIwassomenormalteacher?""Normal?"Shenodded.Ifshewasold,ifshewasthirty?Thetypetowearsuitsandnothaverealrelationshipswithherstudents.Havingkidsathome,aringonherfinger..."Maybe...maybenot."Shenodded,alittlemorehappy."AndifIwassomestudent?Likeastudenthere."Shesaid.Whyissheevenaskingthesequestions?"Ifyouwerethesame,thenIwouldprobablytalktoyou.It'smaybe,Ican'tguaranteeeverything."Shenoddedandgotup."Okay."Shesaidwalkingbacktothedesk."Alright..."Isaidconfused.Aftershewasdonewewalkedoutoftheschooltogether.Wedidn'tsayanythinguntilIheardherstomachgrowl.Ipausedandlookedather."Hungry?"Iasked,sheblushedasshenodded.Isighed,"Fine,let'sgototheplacedowntheblock."Wewalkedthere,herhandswereoverherstomach.Likeshewastryingtomakeitbequiet."We'rehere."Itwasasmalltakoyakicart,aguywearingaapronwasturningoverthesmallbrownballs.Ilookedoverather."Youliketakoyaki?"Shenodded."Twoordersofit,please."Isaid,theguynoddedandturnedoversomemore."Fivedollars."Shelookedinsideherpockets.Shegasped."Iforgotmymoney-""I'llpaydon'tworry."Isaid,sheloweredhereyes.

"Yousure?"Inodded."Thankyou,I'llpayyouback.""It'snotmuch,andIdon'tlikehavingsomeonebeingindebtedtome."Shenodded.Theguygaveus,Inoticedwehadanextraorder."Umsir,yougaveusoneordermore."Hesmiled."Idon'tseemuchguyspayingfortheirgirlfriendswithoutsayingsheoweshim.Andyoupaidforherwithoutaskingforthat.I'mimpressed.Miss,you'reveryluckytohaveapartnerlikehim."Icanfeelmycheeksgetred,sameashers."Uh,we'renotdating...We'refriends."Shemuttered.Ithurtwhensaiditthough.Eventhoughitwasthetruth."Ohsorry,youtwolooklikeacouple.Andyoutwodomakeanicecouple."Weblushedharder."Thanksforthefood."Isaid,webothwalkedovertothepark.Weatethefood,

theblushdidn'tleavehercheeks."Thatwasawkward,neah?"Shenodded."Hethoughtthatwewere...""Toldyou-youlookyoung."Imuttered.Shesatontherocknearher."You'reupsetthathethoughtwewereacouple?"Shewidenhereyes."No!Notatall!Imean..."Sheblushedassheateanothertakoyaki."Thendon'tactsodown,itwasjustamistake."Isaid,Iwasalittlemad.Shedidn'tseeustogether.Shedidn'teventhinkaboutit.Shedidn'thavetobethatupsetaboutit.Iammad,Ineedtocalmdown.WhatdoIexpect?Thatshe'lltelltheguywewereone?

Ican'texecptthat...ThatwhydoIcare?IguessIcan'tstandyou.Thatwasn'twhatIwasthinking.ItwasthatstupiddreamIhadlastnight.Shewasthere.Worthless.Iwasn'tthere,yetIseenher.Sayingthesethings.Weak.


12/46

Icouldn'tstandit.Iwokebreathingharder.Whatdoesshereallythinkofme?Pathetic.Ibeenwonderingthatthewholeday.Duringschool,Iwalkedstraightoutofthere.Ikepttryingtofindcluestohowshereallyfelt.Nothingcaughtmyattention."Youokay?"Sheasked,itwasthenextmorningbeforeschoolstarted.Ilookedstraightintohereyes,allIsawwasconcern."I'mfine."Imutteredlookingawayfromher.Isawhertiltherhead."I'mfine."Irepeated.Shenoddedslightlybeforewalkingbehindthedesk,straighteningthepapers."Doyou..."Isaid.Sheraisedherhead."Doyouha-...forgetit."Shefurrowedhereyebrows."Whatwasit?""Nothing...I'mleaving."Isaidwalkingoutoftheroom."Okay..."Shesaid,Iwalkedoutoftheroom.IguessIcan'treallytakeit.Iwanthertoacceptme?Ineverwantedanyone'sapproval.Notevenmyownfamily.Yetwithher.Why?Idon'twanthertohateme.Ortodislikeme,IguessIshouldn'tcare.YetIdo.Whatiswrongwithme!Ibangedthewallbesideme.Itwasthethemiddleoftow

n,surroundedbyconcretewalls."Ifeelsopathetic."Imuttered,Islumpeddownthewall."Why?"Ilookedup,shecroucheddownbesideme."Whydoyoufeelpathetic?""Noneofyourconcern."Imuttered,sheloweredhereyes."Iknowthat,IworryalotaboutthingsthatIhavenothingtodowith."Ilookedawayfromher."Alotofpeoplegetmadatmefordoingso.""Thenwhydon'tyoustop?"Iasked,stillkeepingmygazefromher."Ican'thelpit."Shesaid."Youcan'tbeworryingaboutpeoplethatyouhavenothingtodowith.Ifyouarenotinvolved,youshouldignoreit."Istated."It'snotthateasy."Shewhispered,Igotup."Itiswithpractice."Isaid,walkingawaywithmyhandsinmypockets.Shefollowedme."You'refollowingmewhy?"

"Sorry."Shesaid,Ishrugged."It'sapublicplace."Imuttered,sheranabittocatchuptome."Youcouldstillpushmeaway."Shesaid,Ishrugged."Dowhatyouwant."Asmallfrownformedonherface."Areyoumadatme?"Sheasked,Istoppedandslowlyturnedtoher."No,I'mnot.I'mjustinabadmood.Itdoesn'tmeanI'mmadatyou."Isaid,shesmiled."Okay..."Shestillwalkedbeside,wehaven'ttalkedtoeachotheratall.Yetitfeelsright.Iwantherthere.Why?"WhatdoyouwantnowMeiLin?"Iasked.Shewasstaringatmeintently."Well?""Nothing,justwondering."Shesaid.

"Justsayit.""It'snothing.""Nobodyneverhasanythingtosay."Imutteredgettingup.Walkingupthestairstomyroom."Whatareyougoingtodo?"Sheasked,Ipausedandlookedather."Dowhat?"Iasked."ImeanabouttheElders,theywantyoutomarrysoon.Oratleasthaveafiancee-""Doesitmattertome?"Isaid."Itshould."


13/46

"Itdoesn't.""Thenwhydoyoualwaystalkbackwhenwegetintothatconversation-""CauseI'mtiredofyouguyswantingmetodecide!Itshouldn'tmatterIdon'thaveachoice-""Yesyoudo!Ifyoufindsomeone-""Itwon'tmatter!EvenifIdofindsomeone,they'llgetsomeoneelseformeanyway."Isaidbeforerunningupthestairs.Itistrue,doeseveryonehereIreallygotachoice.Yeahright.Iseethroughtheretricks,there'snochoice.Theygivemetherechoiceofwomen,thosegoodenoughtobemywife.Ican'tevendate,anynormalpersonhereisn'tgoodenoughforme.Andmedatingsomeone,whatifIdoenduplikingher?Thenitwouldhurtmore.SoIignoreallgirls,andtheiradvances.IgetrepulsedbytheonesthatactlikethegirlsIseeinthephotos.ThosethatIwouldgiveachance,Istillsayno.IknowMeiLinmightmeanwell,Ijustcan'tstanditanymore.Ican'tpickoutofthem,they'reallthesame.Mightaswelllettheeldersdecide.Achoicedoesn'texistintheLiclan.Possession.Control.Iwantitout,Idon'twantanyofit.Schoolseemstobemyonlymeansofescape.Thereistheparkandthatotherplace.EventhoughI'msurroundedbypeople,Iwaitforthemtoleave.Thenwhenth

ecoastisclearIwalkovertoher.Sometimeswedon'ttalk,Ijuststandthere.Ijustfeelmorecalmhere,she'sworthit.Thenifwedotalk,thenit'seitheraboutnothingorsomethingI'mhavingaproblemwith.Ifshehassomethingelsetodo,Icomewithher.Sheneversaidno.Shealwayssmile.SometimesIwouldn'tdoanything,Iwouldjustleanbackandwatchher.Whethershe'splayingwithkids,cookingorreadinsomething.Iwouldcomewithher.Ifeellikeherstalker,exceptsheknowsI'mthereandtakesmewithhersometimes."Whatareyoudoingnow?"Iasked,anhourafterschool."Well,Iwasgoingtothebookstoretoreadtothekidsthere.Wanttocome?"Sheasked."Whynot..."Imuttered,followingherouttheschool.Isometimesfeellikeher

personalassitant,atleastsometimesIfeellikeI'mneeded.Whenwearrivedthere,itverysmall.Insidethough,itwaslong.Tallwallsofbooks,asmallcounterinthecornerandcushionsonthefloorwithasmallchairinfront."Nakao!"Shesaid,walkingovertothergirlinglassesbehindthecounter.Shehadlightbrownshoulderlengthhair.Aroundtwenty,whichwasprobablyherage."Sakura."Nakaosaid,huggingher."It'snicetoseeyou.""Metoo.""Alright,thesessionstartsintenminutes.Areyousureyouwanttodothis?""It'sjustreading.I'lldoit."Shesaidhappily."Alright,youmaywantabiggerchair."Nakaosaid."I'mfine."Shesaidwalkingovertotheseat.Isatdownbesideheronthefloor.

"You'rehappy?""Yes!Ican'twaittoread."Shesaid.Ilookeddownatherhands."Idon'tusuallyreadtootherpeople,butdon'tyouneedabook?"Shehitherselfonthehead."Iforgot.""We'reinabookstore,sopickone."Isaid,shethensmiledatme."What?""Howaboutyoupickabook."Iraisedmyeyebrow."Excuseme?""Pickone."Shesaidhappily."Me?"Shenodded,IstaredatherforawhilebeforeIgotup."Fine."Ilooked


14/46

aroundthebookstoreandwenttooneside.Ilookedfromonesidetoanother."Theyalllookthesametome."Imuttered.IwasabouttogiveupwhenIsawonebookthatcaughtmyeye.Itookitout.Itwasadarkbluebookwithwhitestarsandlightblueclouds.Awhiteribboncomingoutfromthebottom.ItreadinwhitelettersRubiesoftheSkybyKrishnaVeataKrishnaissanskritforblackandVeataisCambodianforwind.BlackWind?There'sagoodchanceit'snotthisperson'srealname.Well,itlookslikeachildren'sbook.IwalkedovertoherandhandedherthebookasIsatdownandlayedmyheadonthecushion.Thekidswerealreadytherestaringather,smiling.Sheopenedthebook."RubiesoftheSkybyKrishnaVeata...OncelongagotherewasakingnamedYamahaka.Hewasanicegentlerulerofhisvillage.."Iclosedmyeyesandrelaxedwithmyhandsbehindmyhead.Hervoicewasrelaxing,soothing.Itwassoft,eventhoughIcouldn'tseeher,Icouldtellshehadthatpeacefulexpressiononherface.Iwasn'tsurewhatshewassaying,Ididn'ttryhardtodoso.Iwisheditlastlonger."Theend."Shestated."Thatwasshort."Imuttered."Ireadforaboutfifteenminutes.""That'sshort."Isaid,shelaughedalittle."Hadanicenap?"Sheasked,Ishrugged."Areweleavingnow?"Iasked."Ifyouwant."Shesaid.

"Itdoesn'tmattertome."Shesmiled."Okay,causethekidswantedmetoreadanother."Shesaidsmiling."Thengoahead."Isaid,slightlyhappymyself."Ilovedthat!"Sheexclaimedafterthesessionwasover."Youdid?"Shenodded.Itwasnowsunsetandwewereheadinghome."Doyouevergetsickofchildren?"Sheshookherhead."Weird."Isaid,shepouted.'That'sabadthing?"Sheasked."No,it'sjustweird."Isaid,mostgirlslikeyouwouldhavethereownkidsbynow."Andyou'regoodwiththem."Imuttered."Theyseemtolikeyoutoo."Shesaid,Igrowledasshegiggled."Thosekidsliketobotherme."Isaid,shesmiled."Really?"Ilookedather.

Thosekidswereplayingwithme,aftershereadabooktheywouldaskmeweirdquestions.OneevenaskedifIwasavirgin...howdoesakidknowaboutthatstuff?Theyhitmewiththebooks,dancedaroundmeand-"Thosekidssaystufftheyshouldn'tbesaying."Sheblushed,Irememberedittoo.Oneofthekidsevenaskedifshewasmywife...WhenIsaidno,theysaidmygirlfriend.IkeptsayingnoandsingingthatK-I-S-S-I-N-Gsong."They'rejustkids."Shesaid,Isighed."Doesn'tmatter."Isaid.Ifeltmycheeksgetalittlewarmertoo."Ineedtogovisitmydad,canI?"Sheasked,Iraisedmyeyebrowather."Youdon'tneedmypermission.I'lljustgohome."Probably.

"Okay..."Shesaidasshewalkedtheotherway.IstayedthereuntilsheturnedacornerandIdidn'tseeheranymore."Igohome?"Iaskedmyself,IkeptwalkinguntilIsawmyhouse."Nobodyseemstobehome."ImutteredbeforeIputthekeyinthegateandwalkedinside."Thisplaceistoobig."Imuttered,ittookawhiletogetinside."Lostmykey."Isaidbeforegoingtotheside,walkingtothetalloaktree.IclimbedfrombranchtobranchuntilIreachedthetop.Iwalkedacrossitandjumpedontothewindow.Iwentinandflickedthelightswitchopen.ItookoffmyjacketwhenInoticedthepapersonmydesk.Ilookedthroughthepapers."Moregirls."Imuttered,Ilookedaroundforthelighter,Iplacedthephotosi


15/46

nthebinandputitonfire."Onewaytogetridofit."IclosedthelighterandwalkeddownthehallwhenInoticedthedoortotheofficewasopen.Iopeneditmoreandwalkedin,ithasn'tbeencleaninawhile.Iwalkedtothemarbledesk,thepaperswereonit."Somanyphotos..."Isaid."Ican'texactlysettheentireroomonfire."Isaid.Onepicturecaughtmyeye.Itwasagirlwithlongblackhairandblueeyes."Don'ttellmeshe'sconsideringthisone."Thisgirlwasoneoftheworst,shepushedothersawayfromme,stalkedmeandtriedto...Ishuddered,Idon'teverwanttomeetthisgirlagain.Ipickeditupandrippeditdownthemiddle."Ifit'sgoingtobeanygirls,atleastnotthisone."Isaid,Iwalkedoutanddownthestairs.IrelaxedonthecouchwhenIturnedonthetelevision.Thebellrung,Iwalkedoverandopenedthedoor.Thereshewas."Whatareyoudoinghere?"Iasked."I'msorry,Iwaswalkingovertomydad'swhenIfoundyourkeyinmybag."Shesaid,takingoutthekeyfromherbag.Itwasattachedtoagreenstring,asmallwolfshapedcharmandaanothercharmwithmynameinchinesecharacters."It'sanicekeychain."Shesaid,Itookit,myhandslightlytouchedhers.Shewithdrewitquicklyandsteppedback."That'swhatIwasherefor,so...IguessI'llgonow."Shesaidassheturnedaround."SeeyouonMondayforschool."That'sright,it'sstilltheweekend.Iwishshewasherethen.Ishookmyhead.WhatamIthinking?

Iwatchedherasshewalkeddownthelane,herwalkwasdifferent.Othergirlswereswingingtherehipsfromsidetoside,hadtheirheadhighupandstickingouttherebuttandchest.Insteadshewalkedwithherhipsmovingslightly,herheadwasstraightforward.Shedidhavesomecurves,herbodywasnicelybuilt.DidIjustcheckoutmyteacher?Islappedmyselfinthehead.I'vegonenuts.Ineedtoquitthat.Iclosedthedoorandsatonthecouch.Great,andIstillthinkofherlikethat.Sheisbeautiful,verybeautiful.Iwasinthekitchenofmyhouse,Meilinwaseatingramenstaringatme."Yes?"Shesquintedhereyesatme."Areyouokay?"Sheasked,sheputherhandonmyforehead."Why?"

"Youseem...happier?"Shethengavea'Oh!'look."What'sbeengoingon?"Sheasked."Nothing.""Isitaperson?""..."Shesmiled."Isitsagirl?"Sheteased,thenherimagecameintomymind,Iblushed.Itriedtoturnanywaybutshewentinfrontonofme."Oh!Soitisagirl!"Shesmirked."Idon'tknowwhatyou'retalkingabout."Sheshookherhead."Yeah,you'reright.Youandagirl,whatwasIthinking."Shesaidsarcastically."Evenifyoudidlikeagirl,sheprobablybereallymeanandug-""She'snotlikethatatall!"IblushedrealizingwhatIjustsaid,Ifellintohertrap.

"Sodoesthatmeanshe'spretty?"Ishookmyhead,shefurrowedhereyebrows."She'sbeautiful."Iwalkedawayfromhersmile."Shemustbe,andreallynice.Whoknewyoucouldfindyourtamer...Ineedtomeether."ImetupwithMs.Kinomotoatthepark,wemeettherealot.Ithoughtsomebodywaswatchingus,butwheneverIlookedaroundnobodylookedtherewayovertous.IknowI'mnotbeingparanoid,thereissomebodywatching,butIdon'tcarerightnow.TheonlyoneIwatchedwasher.IwassurethoughthatIsawapairofrubyeyes,Ishruggeditoff.Itwastheendofclassfortheday,Igotsomebreadfromthecafeteriaandwal


16/46

kedovertotheclassroom,IwasrightoutsidethedoorwhenIheardthevoices,onewasherandtheotherwasMeilin.Whatisshedoinghere?"Soyourateacherhere?Youlookreallyyoung."Meilinsaid."I'mjustatemporaryinternhere,Ineededajoblikethisinordertograduate."Ms.Kinomotosaid."Isee,youlikeTomoeda?""Yes,Ido.Peopleherearereallynice."Ialmostchuckled,shesoundedlikeachild."Doyoulikethestudents?""Yes.""Whowouldyousaywasyourfavorite?""W-what?"Shestuttered."Isthereonestudentyoureallylike?Likemaybethenicestgirl,orcutestboy...""W-well...""Youdon'thavetoanswer.Ijustwantedtoaskyouaboutmycousin.SohowisSyaorandoinginclass?""He'sdoinggreat.He'sreallysmart."Shesoundedreallyhappysayingthat."Whatdoyouthinkabouthim?""Thinkabo-""Imeanishenice,rude-""He'sreallykindtome,he'sreallysweet."Iblushed."Kind?Sweet?Nowthat'sadifferentSyaoran.Buthowdoeshelook?""Look?"

"Imean,ishegood-looking,ugly,soandso.""He'snotugly!Imean..."Whattheheck?"Yeah,he'sgood-looking.Maybethat'swhyhe'ssococky."Hey."Hecangetanygirlhewants.""Yeah...""Excepthe'sdoesn'twantanyofgirlsthatwegivehim,histypeofgirlwouldbe...be...somebodylikeyou.""Me?"Whatdoesshethinkshe'ssaying!Andtoher!"You'dbetheperfectgirlfriendforhim."Meilinsaid."Well,Idon'tthinkLi-""Li?YoucallhimLi?"Meilin'svoiceboomed."Hetoldmetoo..."Hervoicegotquieter."Thatguy!"Meilinbangedthetable.

"Ano-""It'sfine."Meilintookahugebreath."It'sfine,well,I'llbegoingnow.""Bye.""Bye."Sheopenedthedoorandturnedquicklytotherightmissingme.Isighedandwalkedin,shewasblushingwithherhandsoverherheart."Whatareyoudoing?"Shejumpedandstaredatme,shelookedbackdown."Nothing."Shelookedoutthewindow."Anythinghappen?"EventhoughIknew,Iwantedtoknowwhatshesaidaboutit."Justameeting."She'ssortofhonest."Alright,here."Itossedthebreadovertoher."Idon'twantitanymore.""Thankyou."Shewasstillblushing.Mystupidcousin."Riya,pleasecomeuptotheboard."Shesaid,itwasthenextdayofclass.Shesatdownintheseatandtookabreath.Shelookedpaler,weaker,shelosther

balancethismorningwhenIcamein."That'sright,youmaysitdownnow."Shewentuptotheboard,sheswayedabit.Shewrotethings,Igotupandwalkedtothefront,thewholeclassstaringatme."Li,whatareyoudoing?"Mr.Himakosaid,Ms.Kinomotolookedbackatme,Iputmyhandtoherforehandandoneonmine."Iwasright,youaresick."IlookedatMr.Himako."Ishouldtakehertothenurse,shehasafeverrightnow.""Letmesee."Hecheckedonherforeheaed."He'sright,youshould'vetoldmeifyouweren'tfeelingwell."Shelookeddownatherhands.


17/46

"Sorry,IthoughtIcouldbeokayuntiltheendoftheday.""Alright,let'sgetyouthenurse.""I'lltakeher."Helookedatmeindisbelief."You'lltakeher?""It'snottoditch,Icould'veleftearlierifIwantedto."Isighed."Look,justletmetakeherthere,thenursecouldtellifIdoanythingelse.Andbesides,Idon'tthinkweshouldbewastingtimearguing."Hethoughtaboutit."...Alright,butIwillhearformthenurse."Inoddedandwalkedheroutoftheclassroom.Whenwereachedthestairs,Iliftedherupandcarriedherbridalstyle."Whatareyou-""Ifyouloseyourbalancenow,thenitwon'tbejustthefeverbotheringyou."Hercheeksgotredder.Sheleanedherheadagainstmyshoulderandclosedhereyes.ThewalktherewasharderformethanIthought.Myarmswantedtokeepherholdinglikethis,herbodywaswarm,herbreathingonmyneck.Icouldkissherrightnow,butthatwouldbetakingadvantageofher.Iforcedmyselfnottolookather,toholdmyselfbackfromdoinganything.Wefinallygottotheinfirmary."Nurse?"Nobodyanswered,Ilookedaround,noonewasthere."Great,theonlytimeforhernottobehere."Iclosedthedoorbehindme,andwentbehindthecurtain.Iplacedherinthebed,herhandclungtomyshirt.Iplacedmyhandonhersandmovedit.Iheldherhandinmines."Evenyourhandfeelwarms."Iputherhandoverherstomach.Sheopenedhereyes.

"Li."Shetriedtogetup."Youshouldn'tbedoingthat.""ButI'm-""You'renotconvincinganyone."Ipushedherdownonthebed,mybodyhoveringoverhers."Includingme."Myfaceafewinchesaboveher,oureyesmet.Ilostmyselfinthem,Iinchedclosertoher.Herhandswereoneithersideofher,Ididn'tgivemuchofachanceforhertobreakfree.Mybreathgotcaughtinmythroat,herbreathinggotalittlefaster.Hereyesclosedveryslowly,Iinchedmore,barelyafewcentimetersaway."Hello?"Aladyasked,Ijumpedawayfromher,thenursecameinandpulledthedrape."Yes?""Shegotsick,soIcarriedheroverhere."Isaid,thenursecheckedoverher."Isee,shehasaslightfever,youshouldheadhomeandgetsomepropercare.D

oyoulivealone?""Yes,butIhaveabrotherwhochecksonmefromtimetotime."Thenursesmiled."Well,Idon'tknowhowyou'llgethome-""I'lltakeher."Isaid.Thenursefurrowedhereyebrowsatme."You?""Yesme."Shewastakenback."Idon'tthinkyou'recapable-""Um..."Ms.Kinomotointerrupted."Mybrotherisstillatwork,sonoonecantakemehomerightnow.""Well...Iguesshecanifyoutrusthimtodoso."Shenodded."Itrusthim."Istaredoverather.Shetrustsme?Imightknowhernow,butcanshetrustmethateasy?

"Alright,youmaytakehertoherhouse."Inodded,shewalkedoutoftheoffice."Let'sgothen."ShestayedawaketheentiretimeIheldher,herbangshidhereyes.Iopenedthedoortoherapartment."Howcomeyoulivealone?"IaskedasIlayedheronthecouch."MybrothermarriedwhileIwasawayandhastwins,andmyfatherliveswithhimtoo.Idon'twanttobeaburdenonthem,somyfriendlendedmethisapartment.""Youokaylivingbyyourself?"Sheclosedhereyesforamoment.


18/46

"Yes...I'mokay."Iwalkedovertothekitchen."Where'syourmedicine?""Thesecondcabinetonyourleft."Ilookedthrough,IfoundthebottleandlookedoveritbeforeInoticedthepictureonthecounter.Awomanwithlonggrayhairandgreeneyes."Who'sthis?"Ipickeditupandshowedittoher.Herfacelitup."She'smymother.ShediedalongtimewhenIwasthree.""Sorry."Shesmiled"It'sokay."Iopenedthebottleandtookaspoon,itwaslikefeedingachild.Themedicinemadeherfellasleep."Howcananybodylooksobeautiful?"Itouchedhercheek,itwasstillwarm.Ihoveredrightoverher,Imovedherbangsfromhereyes.Iplacedasoftkissonhercheek.Iwasabouttoleave,whenherhandgrabbedmine.Hereyeswerestillclosed."Iwon'tleaveyou."Iplacedmyheadrightnexttohers."I'llneverleaveyou."Iopenedmyeyes,thelightbreakingthroughthecurtainsonherwindowmademesquint.Ilookedaroundandstudytheplace.Thisisn'tmyhouse,it's-Ifeltsomethingmoveunderme,Ilookedatthesource,shehadherarmsaroundmyneck,herbodyrightunderme."Howdidwegetintothisposition?"Iaskedtonooneinparticular.Imovedherhands,andgotupfromherslowly.Tryingnottowakeherup.Thenexthourshewokeup,rubbinghereyes."I'msotired."Shetriedtogetup,insteadshefelloffthecouch.

"You'renotamorningpersonareyou."Isaid,sheblushedlightlybeforegettingupquickly."I'mnot."Shesaid,"I'llgetready."Shewalkeddownthesmallhallway."Youstilldon'tlookbad."Imuttered.Weendedupwalkingtoschooltogether."You'resureyou'reokay?"Iasked."Yes."Shelaughed."That'sthetenthtimeyouaskedme.""I'monlyasking,Idon'twantyoufainting."Shesmiled."Thankyou."Iturnedawayfromher,mycheeksfeltwarm."Itwasnothing.""Modest."Shemuttered,hervoicewithslightamusement."Anybodywould'vehelpyou."Idon'tthinkthere'sonepersonwhowouldn'twanttohelpyou.

"Butyouwerethefirsttooffer."Sheteased,thecoldcrispwindliftedherhair.Thesunlighthighlightedherskin,Isshealwaysthisbeautiful?"Li."Myshoulderstensed,theonlypartIhatedwaswhenshecalledmethatname.IknowItoldherto,Iregretit."HowdidyouknowIwassick?Nobodyelsesayanything.""It'snotlikeyouwerereallyhidingit.AndIwasn'tgoingtosayanything,butyouweregettingworse,soIjust...""Youarenice."Shesaid."Youdon'tsoundsurprised."Ifurrowedmyeyebrows."BecauseIalwaysknewyouwerenice."Sheruffledmyhair,itfelt...nice.Whensheloweredherhand,Iunconsciouslybroughtmyhandtohers.Herhandwassmallcomparedtomines,warmandsoftskin.Islowlyfeltaroundherhand,holdingontoherwrists.

"Yourwristsaresmall."Isaid,assoonasIletgo,shewithdrewitquickly."We'rehere."Shesaid,theschoolgateappeared.Whenwewentinside,Irealizedthatnearlytheentirestudentbodywaswatchingus.Wordswerespreadingquickly,Itriedtoignoreitbuttheremurmuringgrewlouder.Shedidn'tseemtonotice,butshedidhavetowalkfasterwhenIdid.Ididn'twanttointhecenterofalltheirstares.Ineedtoescape."Youwalkreallyfast."Shesaid,pantingslightly.Inthehallwayneartheclassroom."Sorry.""It'salright,atleastI'mnotlate."Shemuttered.


19/46

DuringlunchtimeIwasgoingtogoupstairs.Ididn'twanttohearanymoreofthesepeople.Somehow,whattheguysweretalkingaboutreachedmyears."She'ssohot!""Yeah,man.HowI'dlikeapieceofthat."Anotherslut."Toobadshe'solder."Whatthe?"Dude,haven'tyouheard?Olderwomenhavemoreexperience!"Older?"Youright,insteadofteachingmeEnglish,shecanteachme-"Iwasn'tgoingtoletthatguysfinishwhathesaid.Hecouldn'tsayanymoreafterIpunchedhim.Hisbodylayedontheground."Whatwasthatfor!"Hisfriendscamearound,Istoodinastance."You'regonnaregretthat.""Tryit.""Suspended!SuspendedXiaoLang!Howcouldyou!"Yelanyelled,Ileanedbackagainstthechair."AreyoulisteningtowhatI'msaying?""Unfortunely,yes."Isaid,hereyeslowered."Youshouldn'tbetakingthissolightly.Thosestudentsyouhurtareinthehospitalwithsevereinjuries!Anyoneofthey'reparentscandecidetosue-""Goaheadandletthem.Idon'tcare.Theydeservedit.""Whatcouldtheydotoprovokeyoulikethis!"Ilookedoverather."TheyweresayingsomethingsIdidn'tlike.""Itdoesn'tmatterwhattheysaid-""Itdoestome!"Istoodup,lettingthechairfall."Iwasn'tgoingtoletthemtalkaboutherlikethat!"Yelanfroze,shefurrowedhereyebrows."Her?"Shestraightenedherposture."Whoisthisshe?"Myeyeswidened.

"Nobody.""Oh,really?""It'snoneofyourconcernwhosheis.""Sothereisagirlinvolved."Thecornersofhermouthcurvedslightly,Imentallyslappedmyselfinthehead.Ishould'vejuststayedquiet."Alright."Mightaswellgiveup."Fineitinvlovesagir...awoman."Shecockedhereyebrow."Isee...Shemustbeveryimportanttoyou."Iblushed.Sheturnedtowalkoutofthedoor."Howwouldyouknow?"Iasked,hersmilegrewwideratme."Foranybodytocauseyoutoloseyourcompursurehastobe."Hersmileddidn'tfadeandshewalkedout."Iwon'tpunishyouanymore.Sinceitwasforanoblecause."Shechuckled.

"Great,Icanhandleherinabadmood,butwhenshe'slikethis."Isighed.Iheardthedoorbellrang,butIjustwentstraighttomyroom.Ilayedinmybed,thinkingovertheeventsinmyhead.SoIstoodupforher.She'snice,nobodyshoulddecidetotakeadvantageofher.Herinnocenceisoneofthegreatthingsabouther.Iwanttoprotecther.That'swhatIwanttodo.ButIalsowanttoholdher,Idon'tanyoneelsetohaveher.Whenherbrotherwasthere,Ididn'tknowhewasherbrother.IwasrelievedwhenIheardthat,ifthatwassomeotherguy...then...Ineedtoclearmyhead.Iwalkeddownstairs,Iheardtwovoicestalkinginthelivingroom."Isee.Astudent-teacher,you'reveryyoungtobeone."Whoisshetalkingto?"Thankyou."She'shere!Irantothelivingroom,thereshewas.Yelanonthec

ouchoppositeofher,drinkingtea."M-ms.Kinomoto,whatareyoudoinghere!"NowI'mstuttering,mymothermustbehavingafielddayrightnow."Icametoseeifyouwerealright,Iheardyouweresuspended."Shesaid,"Whathappened?""I..."Ican'teventhinkstraightanymore."Ijustgotinafight,it'snotabigdeal.""Oh,okay.IguessI'llleavethen."Shegotupbutmymotherstoppedher."WaitMs.Kinomoto,howaboutyoustayherefordinner.""Mother."Igrowled,shesmiled.


20/46

"Areyousure?"Sheasked,mymothernodded."I'dliketogettoknowyoubetter."Iwishshewasstillmad."Thefoodwasreallygood."Shesaid,Iwalkedhertoherhousethatnight."Howcomeyoudidn'teat?""Ididn'thavetheappetite."Imuttered,HowcouldIwithmymothermakingobvioushintshowperfectyouareandwhatagoodinfluenceyouaretome."You'remotherisverynice,andbeautiful.""Beautiful?"Ishookmyhead."Wellsheis."Wereachedthedoor,shelookforkeyswhenshedroppedherpurse."Youreallyareclumsy."Isaid,shesweatdropped."IguessIam."Isighedandhelpedher.Shefoundherkeysandopenedthedoor,puttingallthematerialsinherpurse."Wouldyouliketocomein?"Iwalkedpastherandsatonthecouch."Wouldyoulikesomethingtodrink?""Whateveryouhave."Ianswered."Youcouldwatchsomethingifyouwant."IturnedontheTV,nothinginteresting.Justboringnewsandhostswithdryhumor.There'snothinggoodtowatch.Ilookedoverather,herhairinahighponytail,flippingupanddownalongwithherbodyasshetriedtoreachthecupsontopofthecabinet.Itwasn'tabadview,Iwasdisappointedwhenshefinallyreachedit."Hereyougo."Shehandedmeacupoftea,astemwasfloatingtothetop.Shesquealed."Whatareyousquealingabout?"Iasked,hersmilegrew.

"Don'tyouknowwhatthatis?"Icockedmyeyebrowather."Astem?"Shelaughed."Ifastemfloatstothetop,itmeansgoodluck!"She'shappyoverthat?"Youbelieveinthat?"Shetiltedherhead."Youdon't?""I'llbelieveitwhenIseeit.""AndnowitistimeforthemovieSawIII."Thenewscastersaid,Iheardascreamrightnexttome."Whatareyouscaredof?"Iasked."Idon'tlikehorrormovies."Sheputherhandsonheears."Changethechannel!"Ismirked."AndwhatifIdon't?"Shepouted."Please."

"Ifeellikewatchingit."Sheclosedhereyeswhenshesawthescreen."Please."Hervoicewasclosetobegging,Isighed."Fine."IchangedthechannelanditplayedHouseofWax."AHH!"Shescreamed,sheburiedheadintomychest."Yougetscaredeasy.""It'snotmyfault."Shemurmured,theguyinthemoviescreamed,sheburiedherhead."Pleaseturnitoff.""Idon'tfeellikeit."I'mhavingfunteasingyou.Shegroaned.Myheartskippedabeat.Shecan'tmakethatsound."Canyounotgroanlikethat?""Thenturnitoff."Iclickedontheremotreturningitoff."Isitoff?""Yes."Shelookedup,andsighed.Sheturnedherheadup.Herfacerightnexttomine,timefrozeforthatverymoment.

"I-"Shecouldn'tsayanymore,hertasteofstrawberries.IwishIcandothiswheneverIwant,tokissherthisway.Myhandswerebehindonherback,Ifeltherhandsreachuptomyneck,brushingthroughmyhair.Westayedthatwayforafewminutesuntilwebothneededtobreathe.ShelookedmoreperfectthanIhaveeverseenherbeen.Herchestrising,hereyesbarelyopened,herlipsrosypink."You'rebeautiful,youknowthat."Iwhispered.Hercheeksturnedred,sheliftedherselfup."I'msorryforthat."Shesaid,Igotupfromthecouch."I'llgetgoing,later."Isaid,Iwalkedoutofthatapartmenttryingtokeepm


21/46

ycool.WhenIreachedthenextblock,Ifelldownagainstthewall,tiltingmyheadupwards."Shewasright,itdidgivemegoodluck."Forthenexttwodays,she'sbeenavoidingmyeyes,morenervousthanusual.Ididlikethatkiss,butifthiswasthepriceforit.ThisisnotwhatIwanted.Igotsotiredofit,Iconfrontedherafterclasswasover."Areyoumadatme?"Iasked,shejumped.Herhandwentoverheart.Shewidenhereyesatme."Oh,youscaredme."Shesaidquietly."Areyoumadatme?"Irepeated,shelookedattheground."No...I'mnotmad."Shepulledastandofherhairbehindherear."Idon'tthink...Imean...Wecan'tdo...""Justtellmewhyyouwon'ttalktome.""It'sbecause...We'renotsupposetobeinthatkindofrelationship.Iamonlyyourteacher,Icanbefriendswithmystudents.ButIcan't...""Isthattheonlyreason?"Hereyessquinted."Imean,Iunderstand.It'snotlikeI'llmakeyoudoanythingwithme.It'snotlikeIwanttoholdyou-"That'salie."Orkissyou-"Iwanttokissyoueveryday."Maybeit'sjustaphase-"It'snotaphase."Butwhateveritis,it'llstop.Iwon'tdoitanymore."NomatterhowmuchIwantto.

"Socanwejuststillbe..."I'lldoanythingtobenearyou."Stillbe..."EvenifitmeansthatIcan'tbethatclosetoyou."Friends."Friendsisn'twhatIwant,butI'lldoanythingforyou.Because..."O-okay...Let'sbefriends."Shesaidquietly,hersmilewassmallbutinnocent.IknewthenthatI..."Ihavetogetgoingnow."Shesaid,walkingoutthedoor."Bye."Ileanedagainstthechalkboard."Don'ttellI'mstartingtofallinlovewithyou...""You'llgetsickagainifyoudon'twearajacket."Iwarnedher."Fine,fine.I'llwearit."Sheputonherpinkjacket,theautumnwascloseto

winter,thewindblewhardertoday."Youshouldbemorecareful.Whatifyoucatchanotherfever?"Shegiggled."Li,youworrytoomuch."Ireallywishedshewouldn'tcallbebythatname."Wherearewegoing?"Sheasked,earlierIaskedhertocomewithme.Ihaven'ttoldheryet."You'llknowlater."."Youcan'ttellmenow?"Shesaid,hervoicesoundedmuchyounger.Ipattedherhead,shewasatleastafewinchesshorterthanme."Youmaybeolder,butyouactlikeachild."Isaid,shepouted."I'mnotachild."Shecrossedherarms."Really?"Isaidsarcastically.Ireallyamdifferentaroundher."I'mactuallyyoursuperior!"Sheexclaimed."Keeptellingyourselfthat."Shepunchedmyshoulderlightly.

"Howlonguntilwegetthere?"Istopped,shelookedupatme."We'realreadyhere."Shelookedaround,thereweredeadtreesclusteredtogether,weedsandagrayauraaround."Wherearewe?"Sheasked.Iwalkedtowardsit."We'regoinginthere?""Don'tjudgethingsbythereappearance."Isaid,shehesitatedbeforeshefollowedme.Wewererightthroughthemiddlewhensheheardthecaracklingoftwigs.Shepushedherselfclosertome,Itriedtothinkofsomethingelse,butIfeltallmysensesfocusonmyback."Youcanlookaround."Isaid,sheslowlymovedawayfromme.Shestudyedtheland,shejumpedupanddown.


22/46

"It'sbeautiful!"Ismiled,Iwashopingshewouldfeelthisway.Ifyoupassedthegraytreesyougetthestillgreentrees,alakecoveredinice.Thelittlehintsofsnowoutlinedthetrees,therockstheremainingflowersglisteninthesunlight.Onerosestoodout,afewfrozendroplets,theleaveslowered."Wow!Ineverbeenherebefore."Shetwirledherselfaround.Whywatchthem,whenIcouldwatchher?"Soyoulikeit?"Isatdownonthetree,thegroundwascold,butIdidn'twanttobestandingallday."Yes!"Shetouchedtheicylake."It'sreallycold.""Youshouldstayawayfromthere,orelseyou'llfallin."Shebackedaway,buttrippedoverarockandfellontheground.Thesnowwasontopofher,afewdropletsfellonherjacket."Clumsy."Imuttered.Shestoodupembarrassed."Iknow."Shewalkedovertowardsme,shesatrightinfrontofme.Afewfeetmore,I'dbeabletoholdher.Irestrainedmyhandstomysides."Howdidyoufindthisplace?"Sheasked,hereyesstillwatchingthescenery."IfounditwhenIwasrunningawayfromhome."Sheturnedtomequickly."Youwhat!"Shenearlyscreamed,herfacewasveryclosetomine.Iraisedmyeyebrowather."Isthatabigdeal?"Iasked."Runningawayisabigdeal!Youshouldn'tdothat."Ichuckled."Fine,fine.Iwon'tdoitagain."Iruffledherhair."Iwasrunningaway,whenIfoundthosetrees.Ijustpassedthroughthem,Idon'tknowwhyIdidit.ButIdid,andIdon'tregretit.""Good,andyouregretrunningawayright?"

"...Iguessso."Imuttered,sheturnedaroundsatisfiedwiththeanswer.Thewindblew,sherubbedherarms."You'restillcold?"Shenodded,"Itoldyoutobringawarmerjacket."Shelaughed.ShestoppedwhenIpulledherback,herbodyagainstmine,herheadonmyshoulder."Whatareyou-""Iwon'tdoanything,don'tworry.Ijustdon'twantyoutocatchacold,orpneumonia."Shetensed,hershoulderssoonrelaxed.Afterawhile,Ifelthermoved.Ilookeddownandsawshefellasleep,herarmsaroundmywaist,whenthewindblewagain.Shesnuggledagainstmychest,hereyesshotclosed.Iplacedmyarmsaroundher,myheadtouchingherforehead.."IfonlyIcoulddothiswheneverIwant."Isaidquietly.Iclosedmyeyesandheldhercloser."Iloveyou."Iwhispered,Ifellasleepalongwithher,savoringthemoment.I

didn'topenmyeyesuntilwewokeuplater,ifIdidn'twakeherup,Iwould'venoticedasmallsmileonherlips."Wonderwhat'sgoingon?"Iasked,theguyswereallstaringatsomethingcomingfromthefrontoftheschool.Iwasinsidetheroom,Sakuralookedonbesideme."Maybesomebodycaughtthereattention."Shesaid."Doesn'thaveanythingtodowithme."Shesmiled."Schoolisabouttostartsoon."Shesaid,Iwalkedovertotheback,thestudentsstartedcomingin.MaybeIshouldcomeearlier.WhydoIhaveabadfeelingabouttoday?Soontheclasswasfull,wenttothefrontandclearedhisthroat."Class,wehaveanewstudent."Ididn'theartherestofwhathesaid,Iclosedmyeyesandrelaxed.Iheardthedooropen,theguyswhistled.

Soanewgirl?Bythewaythey'reacting,itshouldbeahotone."Anythingyouwouldliketosharewiththeclass?"Heasked."IcamefromtheUK.AndfromwhatIsaw,Japanisaverybeautifulplace.Ihopetomakefriendshere."Shesaid.Wait...thatvoicesoundsfamiliar.Iopenedmyeyesandlookedatthegirlinthefront.Myeyeswiden."Notyou."Imuttered,theclasslookedatme.Ididn'tcare,whatwasthisgirldoinghere?"IseeyouknowMs.HitomiKeira.Andsinceyoudo,youwillescortheraroundtheschool."


23/46

"I'mnotdoingthat.Picksomeoneelsewhowantsto."Isaidbitterly.Theclasswidentheireyes."Youshouldn'tberudetooutnewstudent.""I'llacthowIwantto-toher."Iwalkedoutoftheclassroombeforesendingheraglare.Shemerelysmiledback.Islammedthedoorbehindmeandwalkeddownthehall."Ican'tbelieveshe'shere!"Thatgirl,shewastheoneinthephotoIrippedinhalf."Outofallthegirls,shecame."Imuttered.Ihitthewalluntilmyhandstartedtobleed."Whyisshehere?""Youseemmad."Iheard,itwasnotlunchtime.IwalkingbacktotheroomwhenHitomiwasrightbehindme."Keira."Imuttered."YouknowyoucancallmeHitomi."Shesaid,Igrowledandwalkedahead."Whyareyoubeingsomean?"Shewined."Stayawayfromme."Isaid."YouknowIwon't."Itrytogetawayfromherwhenshepushedmetothewall,herhandscrawlingupundermyshirt."Quitit."Isaid,shesmiled."Youdon'tlikemytouch.""No."Itriedtopryawayfromherwhenshegrabbedmychinandkissedme.Ifeltlikethrowingupatthispoint.Herlipswerecrackly,herskinwasrough.Shetastedawful.ShepulledawaybeforeIcouldpushher.

"Ano..."Webothlookedatthesource.ItwasSakura."Sa..."Shebowed."I'msorryfordisruptingyou."Shesaidassheturnedquicklyandwalkedaway."Wa-"Shekissedmeagain,Ipushedherawayfromme."Don'tdothatagain."IsaidasIwalkedawayfromher."Whyisshesoimportanttoyou?"Hitomiasked.Ididn'thearher,orseehersmirk."Hey."Isaid,"Hey!"Shedidn'tstop."HEY!"Sheturnedanothercorner.Irantothere,shewasn'tthere."Wheredidyougo?"IaskedasIsighed."Great...justgreat."Imuttered,walkingdownthehallway.Thisisn'tgood.She'sbeenignoringme.Ikeepwaitingforafterschoolandbeforeschool.Andevenlunch.Sheleftassoonastheothersleft,Icouldn'tcatchupwithher.She'sbeenavoidingeyecontact,andpassingoutpapershasnowb

eenarandon'sstudentjobs.Shedoesn'tevenstoptotalkwhenthepeopleleave."Thisismessedup."Imuttered,andwhat'sworstisthatthisHitomihasbeenfollowingmeeverywhereIgo.Talking,flappinghereyelashesandtryingtoseduceme."ThisisnothowIwanttospendit."Imuttered,IwantedtobewithSakura,Ijustdon'thaveachanceto.Itriedtocornerherwhenshecameoutofthecafewhereshewasorderingcoffee.MyluckthatHitomicamein."LookingformeLi?""Stayawayfromme."Isaid,shesmiled."Youknowyoudon'tmeanthat.""Ithinksityouwhodoesn'tthinkImeanthat."Shefrowned."Youknowyouwantme."Ipushedheraway.Shehuggedme.Thenthedooropened.

Whydoesshealwaysseemeinthesekindofsituations?"Wait."Sheranoff,Hitomiheldontome."Don'ttouchme."Isaid,IknewSakurawasoutofmyreachsoinsteadIwentbackhome.WhenIwentupstairs-"HaveyoumetHitomi?"Mymotherasked."Howdoyouknowshewashere?"Iasked."IwastheonethatinvitedhertoTomoeda.""Youwhat!""Whydoareyouangry?Youshouldbehappy.""HowshouldIbehappy!"Iyelled,sheglaredatme.


24/46

"Don'ttakethattonewithmeXiaoLang!Itriedtobeniceandbringherheresinceyoulikedher-""Wheredidyougetthatideafrom?"Iasked."Irecountedmypictures,herpicturewastheonlywasgone.SinceyouweretheonlythereIassumedyoutookit.""Towhat?Makeashrineoutofher?"Iaskedsarcastically."Iassumed-""Don'tassumeanything!That'stheworstthingtodorightnow!YouassumeIlikeher,shethinksI'mplayinghardtogetandSakruaisignoringmethankstothatslut!TheonlyreasonIeventookherpicturewastoripitinhalfcauseIcouldn'tstandher!"Iyelled,Ididn'tfidgetwhenshestartedtoshake."I'msorry..."Shesaid."Don'tapoligize,thedamagehasalreadybeendoneYelan."Isaidwalkingupthestairs.Itdoesn'tmatterrightnowwhatshethinksrightnow.WhatIcareaboutisSakura.Idon'twantYelantoapoligizebecauseitshedidn'tdoitonpurpose.Imadetwowomeninmylifecry.Ifeellike...I'mjustpathetic.Ineedtofixit.Pleasedon'tleave,don'tleave.Irepeatedinmyhead.Itwasrightafterschool,Iwasonthebranchofthetree,waitingforhertocome.Ithensawafigurecomealong,Icouldtellitwasherfromfaraway.Heraurawasstillaround,i

tjustwasn'tthesamethough.Itwasmoresad."Now."Imuttered,Iwalkedovertoherfrombehindandpulledhertotheothersideoftheschool,whereitwascoveredintrees."What-"Shethenlookedupatme."Li?"Shethenlookeddown."Ihavetogo-""Don'tstartthatstuffwithme."Isaid."IneedtotellyouthatwhatyousawwithHitomi-""Idon'tneedtoknowyourrelationshipwithher.It'snoneofmybusiness."Shetriedtowalkaway,Igrabbedherandpulledhersothatshewasclosetome.Veryclose."Look,youhavetolistentome-""No!Iwon't!"Isawtearsform,comingdownhercheeks."Letmego-"Istoppedherandkissedher.Imissedthetasteofherlips,thedeliciousstrawberrytaste.Iheldontoher

waistwithmyhands,pullingherclosertome.Sheplacedherhandsonmyshoulders,kssingmeback.Herlipsweresoft,hertouchwassmooth.Ipushedhertothetree,myhandsstoppingherfromhittingthetree.Webothstartedtofallslowlytothegrass,herbodyrightundermine.Herarmsaroundmyneck,oneofmyarmsmovingupanddownonherback,theothersupportingherhead.Hermouthopenedabit,Itooktheopportunityandplacedmytonguein.Shehestiatedbeforedoingthesame,shemoanedsoftly.Westayedthatforawhileuntilwebothneededtobreathe.Wesighedineachother'smouth,Ilookedather,hereyeswerestillclosed."Amazing."Iwhispered,sheopenedhereyesslowlyandstaredatme."Li?""Don'tcallmethat."Isaid,shefurrowedhereyebrows."CallmeSyaoran."Shenodded,beforeIkissedheragain.Iwantedher,Iwantedtodothiseveryday.

Ifinallyknewthen...Ifellinlovewithyou,andmyfeelingswon'tchange.Letmeloveyou,Iwantyoutoloveme.IfonlyIknewthatthecoastwasreallyclear,theblueeyesstaredatusfromthetree."Youshouldreallydothisinprivate."Shemuttered."Iloveblackmail."Shemuttered.Holdingaphotoinherhands."Syaoran...Syaoran?...SYAORAN?"Ijerkedawake,notthatIwasasleep.Iwasinthecouchofmylivingroom,Meilingwashoveringoverme."What?"Iasked,shesquintedhereyes.


25/46

"Something'swrongwithyou.You'vebeenspacingoutmorethanusual."Shesaid,Iraisedmyeyebrow."Whatdoyoumean?""Youseriouslydon'tknow?"Shesighed."Whatever,IwasactuallygoingtotalktoyouaboutAuntYelan."Ifroze,sheloweredhereyesatme."Whatyousaidtoherreallyaffectedher,she'sbeenreallymoodylately-""Whatdoesthathavetodowithme?""YouknowverywellwhatthismeansSyaoran.Youhavetoapolgoizetoher-""Can't."Isaid,shestoppedandwidenedhereyes."Whynot?SheisyourmotherIunderstandshedidsomeoffendyouand-""It'snotthat."Shesteppedforwardclosertome."Thenwhatisitthen?Whatcouldpossiblystopyoufromsayingalittlesorryforbeingajerkandnotconsideringanyone'selse'sfeelingsbutyourown?"Sheyelled,shetookabreathandcalmedherselfdown."Ican'ttellherI'msorrybutIdon'tmeanityet."ShewasabouttoprotestwhenIplacedmyfingeronherlips."Idon'tdothat,whenIdoapologizeImeanit,anddon'teventrytoforcemeintoitcauseifIdoshewillbemorehurt.Shewon'tthinkImeantitatall.""Thenact."Shesaid."She'llseerightthroughthat."Shefurrowedhereyebrows."How?""Easy,she'smymother."Iwalkedpastherandupthestairs."Youaretoonicesometimesthatitscaresme."Meilinsaid,Ismirked."Pleasedon'tignoreme."Isaidtomyself,Iwalkedintotheclassroom,shewas

n'tthere."Great..."Iwalkedoutandupthestairs,Isoonreachedtherooftopandopenedthedoor.Thesunrisewasstarting,itlookedbeautiful.Iwalkedoverandleanedontherailing.It'sweird,IwouldsometimesthinkaboutjumpingoffthisthingjustsoIwouldn'thavetogetmarried.Togetawayfrommytroubles.Toescapetheclutchesofmyfamily.Now,Ijustthinkofsomethingelse,someonemorebeautifulthanthatsunrise.Someonemorepurethanthelightsnowthatwasoverthemountains.Iwanttokissheronemoretime.Shedidn'tstopmefromkissingheryesterday.Shetastedsogood,holdingher.Ifeltlikeprotectingher,tokeepherawayfromeverythingelse."Thinkinaboutme?"Igrowled,Iknewitwasn'ther,shewouldn'thaveansweredlikethat.Andhervoicedidn'tmakemecringe.

"WhatdoyouwantHitomi?"Iasked,Iturnedaroundandwalkedtothedoor.Shestoppedmefromopeningithalfway."Move.""Notuntilyoubecomemyboyfriend.""WhatmakesyouthinkIagreetothat."Shesmiled."Youeverheardofbribery?"Sheaskedinahighpitchedvoice."SoIbribeyouwithmoneytostayawayfromme?""Quitetheopposite,Ihavecertainthingsthatwouldforcetobecomemyboyfriend,andsoonmyfiancee.""You'retryingtomakemesick?"Shegiggled."You'resofunny."Shesaid,Itriedtoopenthedoor."Move."Shelaughed."Why?Togobacktoyourlittlegirlfriend?"Istoppedandlookedather."HowluckywasItohappentobepassingthroughandfindyoumakingoutwiththeteac

her."""Whatdoyoumean?""Youthoughtyouwerehidingit?"Shelaughed."Iamsojealousofthatteacher,shegetstohaveyouwithouteventrying.Mustbedesperate,ormaybesomehowholikeslittleb-"Ipushedheragainstthewall."Don'tyoudareinsultherlikethat,especiallyinfrontofme."Istatedbitterly,Ididn'ttrytohideit.Ihatedheratthatverymoment,somethinginmyguttoldmeitwasjustthebeginning."Youcan'tthreatenme."Shesaidsmirking,"Ihavesomeveryintertestingphotostheprincipalmightlike,andmaybeeventhepolice."Shesmiled.


26/46

"Youlittleb-""Eheheh."Shemovedherfingerfromsidetoside,pushingmeaway."I'mtheonewiththephotos,Icantellyouwhattodo.Nottheotherwayaround.Unlessit'sinourhoneymoonnight.""Yeahright."Isaid."Wellthatisplanned,wegetmarriedandhavekids.It'swhat'sexpectedoutofyou.""Idon'tplanonhavingkids."Imuttered."AndifIdo,themotherwon'tbeyou.""Youcan'tsayno."Shesaidproudly."Won'tyourmotherbesoproudwhenshefoundsoutyouproposedtome.""...You'rejusttryingtomakemehateyouaren'tyou.""Notatall,youjusthavetolearntodealwithme."Shepushedherselfonme,sheplacedherarmsaroundmyneck."Aren'tyougonnakissmesenseless?""Idon'tgoforthingsoflesservalue?No."Ipushedherawayandopenedthedoor."Youhavetobemyboyfriend!"Shebellowed."Beingyourboyfrienddoesn'tmeanIhavetoriskmypride."Ireplied,shefumed.Shedidn'tstatetheguidelines.Shemayhavethepuppet,butsoonI'llbetheoneholdingthestrings."That'sallfortheday,class."Sakurasaid,theclassfiledout.IwasgoingtowalktowardsherwhenHitomistoppedmeinmytracks."C'monXiaoLang!Wehavetogotorooftopandhavesomealonetime."Shewinkedatme,Iturnedawayfromher.Shethenlookedather."Oh!Ms.Kinomoto,Idid

n'tknowyouwerehere!""Y-Yes..."Sakurastuttered."Asyoucansee,we'redatingnow.ItwasXiaoLang'sidea,heaskedmeandclaudoIhadtosayyes.""Claudo?"Sakuraasked."You'retheEnglishteacherandyoudon'tknow?Itmeansofcourse."Hitomisaidthoughitwasobvious."It'sSpanishyouwerejustsaying."Isaidbitterly."I'msorryI'mnotassmartasyouare."Shesaidseductively.Istartedtowalkout."WaitupXiaoLang!Sheesh,men,wanttogetstraighttothefun."Irolledmyeyesather,beforeweleftItriedtomouthtoSakuraIwasn'tapartofthis.ThatIwantedtobetherewithherinsteadofthisone.Instead,shelookedawayandbowedherheadonthetable.

IthoughtIsawherbodystarttoshake."Whatdidyoudothatfor?"Iaskedangry,shesmiled.ThereisonlyonepersonIlovetoseesmile,anditisn'tthegirlrightinfrontofme."Whatdoyoumean?Iwasjustspreadingourloveforeachother.""Love?Isayhatred."Shegiggled."Iloveitwhenyou'rejoking."Iwalkedawayfromher."Youknowyoucan'tstopmeaslongasIhavethosepictures,you'remine.""KissmeandI'llbruiseyourfakelipsfromyourface."Shewidenedhereyes."Itoldyou-""Iheardyou,buthowaboutIknockyououtsohardsothatyouwon'trememberit,"Shemovedasteppedback."Youknowwhat,Ilikebadboys.""Youdidn'thearmywarning.""Ohplease,there'snowayyoucaneverdothat."Icursed,shewasright.ButI

remember,therewerecertainloopholes."That'sanethicnotamoral."Iwalkedawayfromher.Ineedtogetridofherfast.Buthow?Istoodrightoutsidethedooroftheclassroom,waitingforhertocome.Icameextraearlyjustincase."Can'twaittoseemeXiaoLang?"Icursedundermybreath.Thereshewas,thecauseofallmymisery."Ican'twaittogoblind,soIdon'thaveto."Isaidback.Shelaughed,herlaughwassohorrible.Itsoundedlikescreeaching."Thenyouwon'tbeabletoseethebodyIhave."Sheswayedherhipsasshewalk


27/46

edovertome,undoingthebuttonstohershirt."Ionlyhaveonequestion."Shesmirked."Whatisit?"Shesaid."Letmeguess,amIstillavirgin?""Ialreadyknowtheanswertothatwhore."Shepouted."Imeanttoask."Shesteppedclosertome."Howmuchdiditcostforyourbody?"ShegapedatmeasIwalkedout.IhadmyeyesclosedwhenIranrightintoher."Sorry."Iopenedmyeyes,thereshewas."Sakura."Iwhispered,shelookedupatme."Syaoran."Shesaid,whenshe'ssaysmyname,it'sasifsheaddsaspecialringtoit."IwastryingtotellyoulasttimethatI'mnot-""XiaoLang!"Icursedagain,Hitomiwalkedoutoftheroom,allthebuttonsundoneonhershirt."Quitflashing."Iordered.Shewinkedatme."Don'tworry,Ionlydoitforyou.""Liar."Imuttered.",youcomesoearly!"Hitomisquealed."Wellthen,c'monXiaoLang,let'sgosomewhereelse."Istompedawayfromher."Helovesplayinghardtoget!"Okay,Icouldn'tgettoheratall.ThatHitomigirlfindsawaytostopme.Tryingtokissme,seduceme.EveryguyhermightthinkI'mtheluckiestmanintheworld,withthemostbeautifulangelonmyrightarm.Iwasintheexactopposite,Ihadthisslutwhothinkssheownsme.It'scompletetorture,ifshewasn'tsopossesive,Imight'veevenbeennicetoher.Shedi

dn'tdothat,andevenifshewas.IstillwantSakura,IwouldliketheluckiestmanifIhadheronmyrightarm,tobeabletokissherwhenIwant.Toholdherandkeepheralltomyself,itmaybeselfish,butIcan'thelpit.Ishould'veskippedschoolthatday,andnevercome.MaybeIneverwould'vefallenforher.I'mkiddingmyself,IknowIwould'velovedher.Iwon'tstoplovingher."I'mgoingout!"Icalledout,Yelanlookedupatmefromthekitchentable."Whatisitmother?""IheardsomenewsthatyouandHitomiaregoingout."Ipausedandtriedtokeepstolid."Andyouaskedherfirst."Meilinspitoutthejuiceshewasdrinking."Hitomi?Thatwhorewhotriedtostalkyouandfollowyouintoyourroomandalmostranoverus?"Shescreamed.

"Meilindonotinsulther,sheishisgirlfriend."Igrowled.Theybothstaredatme."What?"Iaskedthem."Whydidyoujustgrowl?"Yelanasked."Idon'tneedtoexplainmyself."Istated."XiaoLang-""Don'tworrymother,I'llgoalongwiththisschemeuntilIgetthephotosback."Imuttered."Whatdidyousay?Icouldn'thearyou."Yelanasked."Nothing,I'mout."Isaid."Wait!"Iclosedthedoorbehindme."Pleasebehome."Iwhispered,Iknockedonherfrontdoor.Nooneanswered,Itriedagain.Stillnoone."Iguesssheisn'thome."Iwasabouttoturnaroundw

henIsawher.Except...shewasn'talone."Wereyoututoringtoday?"Themanasked,hehadshortbluehairandsapphireeyesbehindroundglasses.Hewasaroundherage,butthatwasn'twhatwasworryingme.Whoisthisguy?"No,Iwasn't."Sakurasaid.Istraightenedup."Iwasactuallygoingtoaskyouforsomehelpwiththislesson,butsinceyouhave'company.'I'llbeheadingoutnow."Iwalkedpastthem.IwalkeddownthestairsandheadedtotheplaceIshowedherbefore,Iregretdoingthatnow."Syaoran!Wait!"Istopped."Syaoran."Ifeltherhandonmyshoulder,myshould


28/46

erdidn'trelax."Holdon.Whatyousawbacktherewasn't-""What?Youdon'tneedtoexplainanything!Idon'tneedanupdateforeveryboyfriendyouhave."Shewalkedrightinfrontofmewithfierceeyes."That'swasn'titatall,andwhataboutyou?YouandHitomigirldidn'tstopgoingatitduringschool!"Sheputherhandoverhermouth."Yougotitallwrong,youdon'tunderstandanything."Imutteredwalkingpasther."Youdon'tatall."Shesaidback,Ididn'tstoptolookbackather.What'sthepointofdoinganything?What'sthepoint?Iwasusetodoingthis,cuttingschool.Inevercaredaboutit,butnowtheseurgestogoback.ButhowcanInow?SheandIaren'texactlyonspeakingterms,Irestrainmyselffromrunningintothatschoolandholdingherinmyarms.Nottoletanyoneelsehaveher,butitseemstoolate.Isighedasecondtimelayingonthebed,theonlygoodthingthatcameoutofthisisthatIdon'tgethoggedbythatHitomigirl."Syaoran."Igrowledasmycousinopenedthedoor.Sheclosedandwalkedovertome."WhatdoyouwantMeilin."Isaid,shelookedatwithworriedeyes."Syaoran,youhaven'tbeentoschoolinaweek.Ithinkyoushouldgoback.""Youdon'tknowwhatyou'resaying."Imutteredgettingup."Whatdoyoumean?"Sheasked."IknowwhatI'msaying,youhaveto-""IknowMeilin.Butatthispoint,Idon'tthinkIshouldgobackuntilaweekfromnow."Imuttered.Eightweeksshehasbeenhere,soshe'llleavesoon...

"Doyoureallylikeher?"Sheasked."Dependsonwhoyou'reaskingabout."Isaid."YouknowwhoImean,Ms.Kinomoto."Shesaid."Iwould'vethoughtyoutwobetogetherbynow."Shesaid."Hearwhatyou'resaying,ateacherandherstudent."Iansweredback,shecringed."And?"Sheasked."LookSyaoran,ageshouldn'tmatter.Iseetheconnectionbetweenyoutwo.AndIknowyoursisterswouldloveher."Shesquealed."Ican't,andevenifIdid.Theelderswouldn'tapproveofit."Meilinleanedinononehip."Sincewhendidyoucarewhattheeldersthought."Shesaidwithhervoiceinaprofessionaltone."Idon't,butIknowtheirguidelines."

"You'vebrokenthroughthemtoo."Shesaid."Knowingyou,somethingelsehappened."Hereyeslowered."Yeah,butIcan'tdoanythingaboutit.AndevenifIcould,thesituationwouldn'tgetanybetter."Iputonmyjacket."I'llbeheadingout,withyoutalkingIcan'tstay.""Hey!"ShethrewapillowatmeasIwalkedoutoftheroom."Hemaybenice,buthecanbemean.""Therereallyisn'tareasonanymoreisthere?"Iaskedmyself,Iwasrightoutsidetheschoolgate.Itwasalreadyafterschool,lateevening.Iwalkedinandlookedaround,theschoollookedveryempty.Iwalkedinthroughthehallwayandwalkedupthestairs.SoonIreachedtheclassroom,Iopeneditexpectingittobeasemptyastherestoftheschool,butIsawherlookupatme."..."Isaid,sheloweredhereyes.

"Li."Ifeltmyheartclenched.IkeptmycompusureasstillasIcan,itwasprovingharderthanitsounded."Schoolalreadyended."Shesaidsoftly."Iknowthat,Ididn'texpectanyonehere."Ireplied.Shenoddedbeforeputtingthepapersawayinherbag."Rushingtoyourboyfriend."Isaid,shelookedupatmewithhereyebrowsfurrowed."Boyfriend?"Sheasked."Don'tactdum.YouknowwhoI'mtalkingabout."Shelookeddowninthought."Idon't..."Shesaid.Iraisedaneyebrow."Thatguy!Theonewithbluehairandglasses."Shelookedupatme.


29/46

"Eriol?Heisn'tmyboyfriend,he'smycousin'shusband."Shesaid,Ifroze."What?"Iasked."He'smycousin-inlaw.Iwasshowinghimaround."Shesaid."Areyoudatinganybody?"Iasked,sheblushed."No...I'mnot."Isighedinreliefandranmyfingersthroughmyhair."Ican'tbelieveit..allthistime...butIstillcan'ttellyouanything..."ImutteredinChinese.Shetiltedherhead."Excuseme?"Sheasked.Isighedagainandwalkedslowlytowardsher."DoyouthinkthatHitomiandIaretogether."Isaid,shelookeddown.Askingallthesequestionsaren'tsomethingIusuallydo.ButIcan'thidefromtheconflictforever.IntheweekIwasgone,IhadsomequestionsIneededanswer.Hopefullynow,Icangetsomeanswers."Doyou?"Iasked."I-I..."Sheturnedaround."Idon'tthinkIshouldbeansweringthat."Shesaid."Youcan'tignoreit."Isaid."Justanswerit."Iplacedmyhandonhershoulder."I.."Iturnedheraroundandfacedher,afewinchesfromeachother.Sheblushed."I-I.""Answer."Isaid,shetriedtolooksomwhere."Yes...Ithoughtyouweretogether."Shemovedmyhandsandwalkedpastme."Holdon."Igrabbedherarmandcorneredhertothewall."Youdon'tunderstandwhat'sgoingonandyou'regoingtolisten."Shelookedawayfromme.Isighed."Sheforcedmetometodateher,she'llprobablyfindawaytomakem

eherfiance.""Howcansheforceyou?"Sheasked,stillkeepinghereyesawayfromme."Rememberwhenwe..afterschool...we.."Shedidn'tgetit."Whenwewereinthetrees."Sheblushedadeepcrimsonred."Shetookapictureofus,shetoldmethatifIdidn'tpretendtobeherboyfriendshewouldshowthepicturetotheprincipalandmaybetothepolice."Sheloweredhereyes,sheblinkedonceandlookedupintomyeyes.Iclearedmythroat."AndIdidn'twantyoutoget...into.."Wewerebothgettingclosertoeachother."Trouble...Idon't...wantanythingtohappen..to..you."Itwasonlyafewmilimetersaway,Icanfeelherwarmbreath,shewasbreathingfaster.Mybodypushedherbodyagainstthewall,Iletmyhandslowerdowntoherhipsandpulledhermoretowardsme."Iwanttoholdyoulikethiseveryday."Imurmuredintoherear.Icanfeelherbodyrelaxintomyarms,herarmsfeltupmychestandwentdowntomyabdomen,

outliningmyabs.Ifelthercheekagainstmine,Ithenplacedmyforeheadagainsthers."Iwanttobewithyoueveryday."Shelookedstraightintomyeyes."Syaoran."Shewhispered,Icouldn'trestrainmyselfanymoreandkissedher.Evenaweekseemslikeyearstomerightnow;sheopenedhermouthininvitationandIplacedmytonguein.Ifeltherclutchmyshirt,Imoanedasshebecamemorepassionate."Sakura."Iwhisperedbackinthemiddleofthekiss.Sheplacedherarmsaroundmyneckwithherhandsrunningthroughmyhair.Imovedmylipsdownhercollarbone,shesighed,Inibbledherear."Syaoran."Shegiggled,Ismiled."AndIwanttokissyoulikethiseveryday."Isaid,sheblushedlightly,asmallsmileonherlips.

"Tooseeyouthisbeautiful..."Iwhispered,sheblushed.Myhandscuppedherface,shedidn'tstopme,sheclosedhereyes."Toloveyoulikethiseveryday.""Syaoran!"Hitomiscreamed,throwingherselfonme.Igroaned."Aroused?""Youwish."Isaidwalkingawayfromher.SheheldontomyarmasItrytopryherawayfromme.Iwaswalkingtotheschoolhallway,Idecidedtocomeback."Butyoucameback,must'vebeentorturenothavingmethere."Shesaid,giggling."Itwasparadise."Imuttered,Iranupthestairsnotcaringthatshecouldn'tcatchup.


30/46

"Waitup!"Shecalledout."Idon'twaitonpeople,Imakepeoplewaitonme."Isaid,Ifinallyreachedtheclassroom."Youhaveanotherroom,gothen."Shepouted."Youdon'twantme?"Sheaskedinaseductivevoice."Finallynoticed."Isaid,sheglaredatme."Ihave-""YesIknow.TheretheveryreasonI'mnotbeatingyoutoapulprightnow,youmightbeagirlbutthatwon'tstopme."Isaid,shewidenedhereyes.Iwentinsidetheroomandwalkedtothebackandsatinmyseat.Fiveminutesbeforeclassstarted,Isighedandsatback.Iopenedoneeyeandwatchedhersetupthepapersinherbookbag.Shepausedandlookedatthroughthecornerofhereye,asmalltintofblushonhersheeks.Shesmiledandcontinuedtoworkthroughthepapers."Letusnowcontinuewithclass."Mr.Himakosaid."Doneyet?"Iaskedher,sheblushedasshelookedupatme.Itwasafterschool,andfinallywewerealone."Patienceisavirtue."ShesaidinEnglish."Patiencetakesuptoomuchtime."Imuttered.Shegiggled."Okay."Shesaid,IwasabouttowalktothedoorwhenitsuddenlybangedopenedrevealingaveryhappyHitomi."Ithoughtyouleft."Isaid,clenchingmyfists."WehavetogonowXiaoLang,theelderswantustogotoyourhousenow."Shesaidclappingherhandstogether."Eldersarehere?"Iasked.

"Yes!They'regoingtoarrangeourweddingandhoneymoo-""Wedding?Whatareyoutalkingabout.I'mnotgettingmarried."Isaid,Ifurrowedmyeyebrows."Yesyouare!"Sheexclaimed."Towho?"Iasked."Whodoyouthink?Me!"Shesaidsmiling.Igrowled."Ineverproposedtoyou."Isaid."Yesyoudid?See."Sheheldoutherhand,anengagementringonit."Ididn'tbuythis,youdid.AndyoutelltheeldersIproposedtoyou."Shesmiled."Andyou'reusingthephotostomakeme.""Whateveryousay,nowcomewithme."Iglaredather."Oh!,stillhere."Ilookedbehindandsawhershiftthroughthepapersinherbag."Yes,Ihavetogonowthough."Shesaid,shewalkedoutoftheroom.Beforeshe

shutthedoorshelookedatmewithhereyeslowered."I'llwait."Shewhisperedwalkingout."Wait!"Hitomipulledmyarm."Youcan'tfollowher,you'recomingwithme."IcursedinChinese."Don'tbemean,afterallyougotyourselfintothismess.Howaboutthis,assoonasyouannounceourengagement,Igiveyouthephotosandthenegatives."Ipausedandturnedtoher."Promise."Isaid,shenodded."Ofcourse."Shesaid."Doyouwanttogothen?""Fine.""Yes,I'llmarryher."Isaid,Iwasinfrontoftheelders,allwearingrobesthatcoveredtheirfaces."Whydoyouask?Doyounotapprove?""Wedoapprove,youhavemadeawisechoiceXiaoLang."Oneofthemsaid.

"You'retheonlyoneswhothinkso."Imuttered."Whatwasthat?""Nothing.Iwillnowleaveforyoutoarrangetheceremonies."Ibowedandlefttheroom."Ican'tbelieveIdidthis."Imuttered."ButthisiswhatIhavetosacrafice."Isighedandwalkeddownthehallwaytothelivingroom."YouhavedonewellXiaoLang,youhavemademeproud."Yelansaid,Ibowed."Iknewyouwould,soIwasrightallalong.SurrendingmyselftotheLiclanistheonlywaytomakeyouproudaswellastheelders.""Surrending?"Yelanasked.


31/46

"Isthereanothertermofit?UntilthenI'llleave."Isaidwalkingupthestairs."ButyouaretheonewhoproposedtoHitomi.Didyouonlydothissotheclanwouldleaveyoualone?""Ithasnothingtodowiththeclanatthispoint.Ionlyrealizedit'sbenefitslater."Isaid,notfacingher."Thenwhyareyoudoingthis?"Sheasked."Mother,sincewhenhaveIevercaredaboutmakingtheLiclanproud?"Iwalkedupthestairs."Thenwhy?"Sheasked."XiaoLang...""Youhaveyourway,Itoldtheelders."IsaidtoHitomi,whowassittingonmybed."Getoffofmybed."Iordered."Youdon'twantmeonit?"Shelayedherselfdownandrevealedmoreofherbody."No,you'recontaminatingmybed."Ithrewheroffmybed."You'resomean."Shewhimpered."Youwelcome."Isaid.Shecrossedherarms."Hmph!Oncewearemarried,I'llhavetoteachyousomemanners."Shewinkedatme."Ihavelearnedthem,butIonlyusethemtosomeonethatdeservesrespect."Iopenedthedoorandpushedherout."Ican'twaittillthisisover.ButnowIhavetotelleveryoneaboutit."Imuttered."Butitisallworthit.""Liclan!WeareheretoannouncetheengagementofoursuccessorXiaoLangLitoHitomiKeiraoftheKeiraclan."ThepeoplealllookedasIwalkedinarmandarmwithHitomi.

"Areyouhappynow?"Imuttered.Shesmiled."Ofcourse."Shesaid.Webothwalkedinfront,Ibowedtotheclanwhobowedback."IamheretoannounceandandconfirmmyengagementtoHitomiKeira.AndacceptmyplaceintheLiclan."Isaid,theentireroomwasdeadsilentsotheyheardme."WeareproudofyouXiaoLang."Onemansaid.Inodded.Theroomstartedtalking,IthenturnedtoHitomiandwalkedheroutoftheroom."Wanttorusheh?"Sheaskedwithagiggle."Doyouhavethephotos?"Iasked."Andthenegatives?""Sincewearegoingtogetmarried,it'sokay."Shepulledanenvelopeoutofherpocket.Igrabbeditandthrewitintothefiretorch."Isthatallofit?"Iasked.

"Yes."Ismiledandwalkedout."Whereareyougoing?""Idon'tneedtotellyou.""AsyourfianceIhavearighttoknow.""Youarenolongermyfiance."Istated."What?Butyoujust-""IknowwhatIdid.AndnowIwillsaythatourengagementisoff.""Youcan'tdothat!"Sheyelled."What'sstoppingme."Sheglaredatme."There.GoodbyeKeiraandnevercomenearmeagain."Iwaswalkingthroughthewallmaze,itwasnownineo'clock.Thenightwascool,itbecamecolderwhentheraincamecrashingdown.Ididn'tspeeduportrytoescapefromtherain.IlettherainwashawayanyfearsordoubtsIhadbefore.

Ifinallyreachedthedoorwaytoherroom,Iknockedonittwiceandwaitedforananswer.ThedooropenedrevealingawetSakura,withatowelaroundhershoulders.Abitofsteamcameoutfromthebathroomacross.Shegavemealook-overandopenedthedoorwider.Iwalkedinandwalkedtohercouch.Shewenttotheclosetandthencameouthandingmeadrytowel.Itookoffmyjacketandpattedonmyshoulderswiththetowel.Inoticedshewasstaringatmeintently."Issomethingwrong?"Iasked,sheblushedandlookedaway."Nothing."Shesaid.Iraisedaneyebrowandcontinuedtodrymyselfup.Iputthetowelonthetablebutshestoppedme.Shepickedupthetowel."Holdon,you'restillwet."Shesaid,Ilookedatherassheusedthetowel.Sh


32/46

epatteditonmyneck,downtomyarms.ShethenwenttodrymycheekbutIgrabbedherhandbeforeshewentanyfurther.Hereyestraveledfromourhandstomyeyes.Icouldn'thelpmyselfanylonger,Ileanedforwardandkissedher.Sherespondedandkissedmeback,shewassowarm.IknewIwasmuchcolderbecauseIjustcamefromtherain.Soonwestoppedfromourshortnessofbreath.Sheleanedherheadagainstmyshoulderandsighed.Ileanedbackonthecouch,withheroverme.Shedidn'tmovefromourposition,Iplayedwithstrandsofherhair.Iplacedanotherkissonherlips,shesmiledandplacedherarmsaroundmyneck.Oneofmyhandsunderherheadandtheotheronherhip.Isoonpulledawayandplacedsoftkissesdownherneck.Ilookedbackather.Shesmiledatme,andthenshenuzzledherheadagainstmyneck.Ichuckledandlookedatherform.Shewassobeautiful,theglowofhercream-coloredskin,everysinglestrandofherhairperfectlyplaced.Herincredibleemeraldeyes,asmallsparkleshined,andhernowmoistsoftpinklips.Iheldherclosetome,notwantinganyoneelsetohaveher."Dideverythinggookay?"Sheasked,herheadundermychin,withhereyesclosed."Yeah,Ialsogotthepictures.They'redestroyednow,andshehasnomoreproof."Sheclutchedmyshirt."Youdidn'thavetodothatforme."Shewhispered."Ifyouhadsaidthatearlier,Iwouldn'thavechangedmymindeitherway."Isaid."Haven'tyouseenhowstubbornIcanget?"Shegiggled."ButnowIhavetotelltheeldersthatIbrokenupwiththatgirl."Imuttered.Shelookedupatme

,worryinhereyes."Don'tworry,theycan'tdoanythingtome.I'mtheirpuppetafterall."Isaid,shesnuggledclosertome."CanIaskyousomething."Isaid,shenodded."Whenyousaid'I'llwait.'Whatdidyoumeanbythat?"Iaskedher,sheblushedandtriedtohideherface."YingHua..."Shefurrowedhereyebrows."YingHua?"Sheasked,Ismiledandkissedherontheforehead."ItmeansCherryBlossominChinese."Isaid,shesmiled."You'resobeautiful."Imuttered,sheblushed."Youstilldidn'tanswermyquestion."Isaid.Sheblushedacrimsonred."I-I...Yousee...IsaidthatbecauseIwillwaitforyou...and.."Shelookeddownembarrassed.Iheldontoher."Imean...Yes,Ididn'tlikethegirlwhowaswithyou...Itdidn'tfeelright.AndIonlywantedyoutobewithmeand..nowIsoundsoselfish."Shemumbled,fidgetingwithherhands.Ilayedbackonthecouc

handpulledheralongwithme.Sheblushedbutdidn'tmoveawayfromme.Herheadnearmyneck,myarmsaroundherwaist."WouldIsoundselfishifIsaidthesamething?"Iaskedher,sheclosedhereyesandmurmured."No...""Good,causeIwantyouonlytomyself."Imuttered,Iwasn'tsureifsheheardmeornot.Soonwebothfellasleep.Nextmorning:Thebeamsofsunlightcomingfromthewindowweresobright,Ididn'twanttoopenmyeyesbutIcouldn'tkeepthemcloseeither.Islowlyopenedmyeyesandlookedatmysurroundings.IrealiziedthenthatIsleptinherapartment,Ifeltsomeonestirbesideme.Ilookedrightnexttome,thereshewasholdingontomewithherarms.Herheadundermychin.Itseemedthatnomatterwhattimeofdayornight,shewasalwaysbeautiful.Igentlystrokedherfacedwiththebacko

fmyhand."HowdidIevermanagetofindsomeonelikeyou?"Iaskedmyself,shesnuggledagainstme."Syaoran..."Shemurmured,hereyesstillclosed.Ismiled,Iwonderhowitwouldbetowakeupeverydaywithherbesidesme.Iblushthinkingofthat,thatiswayintothefuture.AfutureIhopedfor,notafutureIwasguarranteed."Syao..."Shemurmured,shestirredbeforeopeninghereyes.Shelookedupatmeandwidenedhereyes."You'rehere?"Shecriedout.Iraisedaneyebrow.Sheblushedandlookeddown."Forgot?"Shenodded,"Doyouregretanything?"Shelookedupatmeandthenhug


33/46

gedme."No."Shestated."Isn'ttodayThursday,thatmeansschool."Imuttered.Sheshookherhead."There'snoschooltoday,ortomorrow."Shesaid,Ididn'taskwhy,aslongasIgottospendmoretimewithher."Sowhatareyougoingtodotoday?"Iasked,shesmiled."Thebookstoremyfriendruns."Shesaid.Shegotupreleasedfrommygripandwalkedintoherbathroom.Isighedandlookedoutthewindow.Theeldersmust'vefiguredoutbynowwhathadhappened.IncludingmymotherandMeilin.IthoughtIwould'vebeenmoreworried,butIfindmyselfnotcaringatall.TheonlythingIcareaboutrightnow,isthegirlIwasjustholding.Buttheelderswouldn'tseeitmyway,mymothermightapprove.Mycousinprobablyevenshoutforjoy,buthowwillitturnoutnow?Bookstore:"I'mhereNakao!"Sakuraexclaimed.Sheranin,Iraisedaneyebrow.Sheactslikeachild,runslikeoneandsometimestalkslikeone.Sometimesit'shardtobelievethatI'mevenyoungerthanher.Iwalkedinandthensatnearthechairs,theoneshewhereshereadstothekids."Iseeyoubroughtyoufriend."Nakaowhisperedteasingly.IlookedawaypretendingIcouldn'thearthem.IglancedbackandwatchasSakurablushed."IssingleSakurafinallygone?"Nakaoaskedwithasmileonherface."Ihopeso."Sakuramumbledback,Nakaosquealed."IhavetotellTomoyo!"IsawSakura'seyeswidenandgrabbedNakao'sphoneoutofherhands.

"Youcan't,she'llgoallcrazyandthenbringoutallthedressesandthen..."Sakurashuddered,wasthis'Tomoyo'reallythatscary?"Fine...butyouwon'tbeabletohideanythingfromherforlong.Shemightalreadyknow,shecould'veputabugonyouwithoutyouknowingitlikelasttime."Sakurawidenhereyesandpattedherclothes.Isighedandleanedbackonthecushion."Well,you'reabitearly,anhalf-an-houractually.Youcanhelpwatchthecashregister,Ineedtolookforsomethingintheback."Sakuranoddedandbehindthecounter.Nakaowenttotowardstheback.Istoodupagainwhenthedooropened.Twoguyscamein,staringatSakura."Yes?"Sheasked."MayIhelpyou?"Theguysshooktheirhead."We'lljustcheckingthingsout.""Yeah,toseeifanythingcatchesourinterest."Ididn'tlikethewaytheywere

lookingather,IhadafeelingtheywereonlyheretocheckoutSakura.Isatbackdowntokeepwatch,the

Tamed and Loved

Documents

Transcript of Tamed and Loved