Synthesis Weekly – September 8, 2014

SEPTEMBER 8. FREE, FREE, FREE!

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We have a couple scene reports in case you missed the recent 1078 show featuring Pageant Dads, Heartwarmer, and Belda Beast, or the Butcher Shop theatre festival, AND we have a quick interview with guitarist Jason Rivera of Portland’s Gaytheist to get you ready for their upcoming show at Monstros on Sept. 10th.

Get it? Blaze ONE? Like you’re blazing one? Like one joint of weed? Whatever. Catch up with Blaze—he’s got the dope on tour life, what’s up with Pyrx, glass blowing, new albums, and his upcoming show at the Senator on Sept. 12th.

This Week... Columns

by Bob [email protected]

Immaculate Infection

by Zooey [email protected]

Comical Ruminations

by Eli [email protected]

Productivity Wasted

by Logan Kruidenierlogankruidenier.tumblr.com

Supertime!

by Anthony Peyton PorterFrom The Edge

by Mona TremeConsider the Platypus

GaytheistPreview

Pageant DadsButchershop

Scene Report

by Koz [email protected]

Kozmik Debris

PAGE 18

PAGE 7

PAGE 8

PAGE 4

PAGE 5

PAGE 16

PAGE 7

PAGE 20

PAGE 17

PAGE 18 & 19

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PAGE 22

PAGE 21

by Amy [email protected]

Letter From the Editor

Scenes of Past & Future

Blaze1

Free Cultureby Alex O’Brienamateurzen.com

Publisher/Managing EditorAmy Olson

[email protected]

Creative DirectorTanner Ulsh

[email protected]

Entertainment EditorAlex Light

[email protected]/submit-your-

event/

DesignersLiz Watters, Mike [email protected]

DeliveriesJoey Murphy, Jennifer Foti

Contributing WritersZooey Mae, Bob Howard, Howl, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Eli Schwartz,

Mona Treme, Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff, Jon Williams, Crown, Alex

O’Brien

PhotographyJessica Sid

Vincent Latham

NerdDain Sandoval

[email protected]

AccountingBen Kirby

Director of Operations Karen Potter

Owner Bill Fishkin

[email protected]

The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8

Productions and the Synthesis.The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email [email protected]. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your

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For 20 years The Synthesis’ goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions,

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Volume 21 Issue 3September 8, 2014

4 SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM SEPTEMBER 8 2014

Crazy Lips Sewn Shut GuyWhat a week. I came down with a rough summer cold, then I pulled a muscle behind my knee, so to spare it I did all arm stuff at the gym, resulting in some sort of shoulder-pocalypse, then this morning I rolled over in bed just in time to have my cat jump from the window directly onto my face. I’ve basically had it with trying in general. So, instead of having opinions about stuff this week, I’m just going to tell you a random story.

I was 24, and had just left my long-term boyfriend who I’d lived with in San Francisco; the road I thought I was on had just dissolved under my feet, and I was left with a big mess of issues to put together into a new life. I came back to Chico and took a job at this little head shop called Sunshine Imports, selling tapestries and incense and glass pipes and such.

I was always about the rebound when it came to breakups, and my immediate return to dating resulted in some comically ill fitting matches. At this point I was on the tail end of my hippie days, which meant I was at the iteration of eclectic “ethnic” textiles, imported silver jewelry, and waist-length dreads in elaborate updos. After a few whatever dates with Every Generic Tattoo Guy and Socially Awkward Music Store Clerk, I stumbled across this guy who was weird enough to actually hold my interest.

I first met him at a Halloween show held in what was then the Zocalo Room (now the Synthesis office, which is probably why I’m thinking about it). He was part of a live piercing exhibition, having his lips sewn shut, blood trickling out of the corners of his mouth. It was fascinating. Also, I was drunk. But really, it was a crazy thing to watch, and he was so calm about it.

We wound up running into each other a lot and I developed a comfortable fantasy-crush on the imaginary version of him, which eventually led to “let’s hang out sometime”—Chico-speak for “I would like to do the sex with you.” I went to his place over near 6th and Ivy with all sorts of giddy visions of the exotic.

The apartment was a mish-mash of devil woman blacklight posters and the smell of sour laundry, scattered with unwashed dishes and unopened mail. He ordered a pizza from Domino’s, and explained to me that he didn’t actually like their pizza, but they were the only place he could write bad checks to that didn’t charge a fee if it took a couple days to clear. He actually seemed a little nervous, and started showing me all his things—like ten seconds of every death metal, black metal, and doom metal album he had so he could explain to me the difference. He had a lot of albums. Somehow that segued into him telling me about his roommate’s vomit fetish (dude was way into vomit sex), followed by a casual mention of the domestic violence charges his ex-girlfriend (also named Amy, how fun!) had filed against him. She was crazy, obviously. He still had her bike though, did I want it?

by Amy [email protected]

Letter From the Editor

PET OF THE WEEK

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I’d been carefully watching Battlemage’s early access beta closely, as the premise immediately appealed to me, as it did to many. “Play the first game where the Mage is a total badass!” the description proudly proclaims. The idea the creators hoped to realize was an awesomely powerful magic user, with all the power and razzle-dazzle that mages have in various RPGs and other genres, but with none of the irksome limitations like mana, a common name for spell resources, or tabletop RPGs’ oft-used “spells-per-day” system. When given a choice of what kind of character to play, the magic user is often the most powerful, but the frailest, and can only use so many spells before they need to rest. The term often used in gaming is “glass cannon,” a character capable of dishing out much, much more than they could ever take.

Battlemage is founded on rejecting the principle of the shackled mage. It wants a mage that feels like a walking dynamo of arcane energy, smashing aside legions of opponents with arcs of fire and waves of undulating kinetic force. It has, unfortunately, failed miserably in this goal.

The titular mage of Battlemage is referred to only as “The Dragon,” and is supposed to be some sort of champion magic-powered murder machine of a mysterious old man, who has given you the power you need to defeat the eeeeevilll Count who goes around murdering random citizens and raping various people’s daughters, and is also somehow the head of a secret society of evil necromancers. The story is best described as a string of tropes tied onto the gameplay to help it float. But what should I expect? They never advertised the game for its storyline. I came here to turn minion hordes into pink mist with thunderstorms shot out of my palms.

On the basic mechanical front, the one which hooked many fans with its promise of hands more magic than those of Jerry Rice, Battlemage is hardly any better. The Dragon can only equip one spell at a time, and can only select from a pool of up to three elements to determine the base of the spells at any time. For a game made to unshackle the mage, the game has a huge amount of limitations. Spells do hardly any damage unless held and charged, and even basic run-of-the-mill minions take multiple hits to take down, making the mage feel less powerful than the average swordsman. Much of the game is spent running away from enemies, who already run faster than the player can, and with only a limited number of short-range teleports, the player often is overwhelmed due to their slow casting speed. Ultimately, it comes off feeling like a sluggish, repetitive shooter lacking in the satisfaction of quick, precise engagement of the enemy.

Perhaps the one bright side of this game is an in-depth, interesting crafting system that allows you to mix various spell components with modifiers and an element, allowing for your own customization. It could have been more interesting with cross-element casting, or combination of spell status-effects, but I feel guilty offering even constructive criticism to the one bright point of an otherwise disappointing game. The beta build received good reviews, but the final release only prompts prayers that the developers will see the light.

Battlemage

by Eli SchwartzProductivity Wasted

BIG IDEAS, PUNY MAGES

PHOTOS BY JESSICA SIDOn The Town6 SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM SEPTEMBER 8 2014


No Touching

Spiedkiks

by Zooey [email protected]

Comical Ruminations

Today is my birthday. I’ve reached the last year of my twenties, and for the past few weeks I’ve been wanting to do an inventory, of sorts, of things I’ve learned in my (almost) three decades on Earth. Last week I sat down and tried to do exactly that, but I ended up just staring at the blinking cursor for an hour then slowly sinking into a disappointment nap. Since then I’ve been able to actually come up with a few things I’ve learned, but I’ll let you be the judge of exactly how helpful or applicable they might be to your own life.

1. On Eyesight: I was a bit late in becoming a member of the glasses-wearing crowd. I should have been wearing them a few years earlier, but up until about six months ago I had always assumed that the ability to see clearly past about a half block away was just not possible for human eyesight. This has led to a lot of mishaps, usually wherein I don’t recognize people until they’re really close and have (in their mind) been ignoring them. After getting glasses I’ve learned two main things; no one will warn you how much it sucks to wear glasses in the rain, and it’s not smart to let anyone else try them on, lest they stretch them out and as a result they’re forever slipping down your nose.

2. On Restaurants: The other night I had a stress dream that I was back working in a restaurant that I worked in from ‘05 – ’10. All those familiar feelings of anxiety came rushing back in a head cloud of 86’d menu items and “water with no ice.” Guys, for the love of Desmond Llewelyn, please be nice to servers.

Aside from another staggering attempt to mold measly words into representations of oceanic waves of sound, I must also share a bit more wonky terminology regarding the variety of liberal licenses. Considering that this column is known as Free Culture, allow me to devolve and digress into the near-legalese behind that phrase for a moment.

The Free Culture Foundation was inspired by the GNU Project and The Free Software Foundation, and began as FreeCulture.org on April 23rd, 2004. Over subsequent years, they developed a Free Culture standard. By definition, Free Cultural Works must allow for public use, study, sharing, and adaptation. In addition, these works (optionally) may only require two conditions be met: Attribution and Share Alike. There are varieties of licenses provided by Creative Commons which conditionally prohibit commercial use and/or derivative works (adaptation), for example, which do not fit into Free Culture. On top of all this, one can fire up their trusty interweb box and read up on the overlapping definitions of Copyleft and Copyfree if they are so inclined. Onward.

The most poignant release in my recent memory that fits the strict, definitive standards of “free culture” and “tasty morsel” is Spiedkiks’ Little Smartphone People from March of this year.

Spiedkiks—a Cologne, Deutschland duo—were allegedly aiming to brew something downtempo “in the first place,” but I challenge anyone to listen to this album sitting down. From the opening track, “Disco Bunny,” you know this subversive bunch is here to party.

Skillful intertwingling ¹ of electronic and analogue instruments (i.e. Moog, Trombone, Violin, Turntables, Vocals, Drums) in addition to a deep roster of guest talent make for a deeply layered mix. Let me single out a few exceptionally heavy punches: “One Hot Finger Lickin’ Minute” gives us a quick prime example of Spiedkiks’ brand of synchronized cacophony. Anthemic energy fills “Freckles &

Don’t snap your fingers at them, and no touching. I know this is a novel thought, but there’s actually no need to touch someone’s lower back while you’re ordering. And if you’re the type to run to Yelp to whine after an establishment runs out of bacon or you feel the server wasn’t ecstatic enough while bringing you your food and drinks, then at least make an effort to post to Yelp when you have a positive experience as well.

3. On Success: The older I get, the more I start to feel more sure that no one actually feels like they have it “together,” whatever that means. I feel fairly confident that the conventional norms and markers of a life lived “successfully” of marriage and children are most likely not in the cards for me, and that’s totally fine. I find that I’m happier bungling along, identifying my own markers of success and not comparing myself to others.

There you have it, the three small things I’ve learned in 29 years. I’m sure I could probably dredge up a few more, like to always keep the cap on a bottle of Lonestar, and that it’s totally acceptable to think Timothy Dalton is the best Bond. (I said it. I’m not sorry). Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to fire up The Living Daylights and pour myself a birthday drink. Cheers.

Hairslides” for a while, after which the rhythm repetitively breaks down into beautiful little fractal fragments, gathering entropy, then returning to the ocean to coalesce. “Selfie @ The Zoo” features violin leading a chorus of haunting vocals dabbling into Near East territory. “Sundowner” earns a place near and dear to my heart for heavy utilization of the boisterous trombone. “Helicopter” rocks in a hard, primal fashion and reeks of the familiar angst of awaiting impending upheaval.

Professional arranging and production skills abound on Little Smartphone People. In order to ensure they would have as much fun making the album as listeners do when the needle drops, Spiedkiks rang up remote and local connections Johannes Hehrmann, Justus Heher, Dominik Berlin, Mr. Goodbar, Kurt from Suso, Shazalakazoo, and Jero Castella to help in actualizing this album, which itself is a testament of a growing community of creators of free cultural works.

¹ verb - To connect together in a complex way; specifically, to compose of one another’s components.

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License. To view a copy of this license, visit creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

LITTLE SMARTPHONE PEOPLEREC72.NET

Free Cultureby Alex O’Brienamateurzen.us


You may know him as the owner of smoke shop chain Blaze ‘N J’s, or as the owner of Blaze1 Clothing, or as the

esteemed glass blower responsible for Blaze1 Glass, or as the lead singer of reggae group Pyrx. You’d be right in all cases.

Blaze just released two solo albums this year on April 20th, Just Sayin and Fresh Out The Box, and toured the country as a supporting act for Devin The Dude and Berner. I suppose I could (should?) have featured Atmosphere this week… But “intelligent” rap bores me, and weed doesn’t. Blaze and I enjoyed some of Cali’s finest and talked shop: about music, business, what makes a song a hit, and some more subjects that I don’t clearly remember.

I do remember his blue snapback with his own logo emblazoned (heee) in neon green, his gravelly voice that punctuated most statements with a “yaddimean,” and my voice that kept stumbling and halting as it tried to form the questions I’d written up earlier.

Let’s talk about the show. September 12th, Berner, you, San Quinn, Senator Theatre.

I just know it’s gonna be big; Berner sold out Sacramento two nights in a row. I didn’t know his following was that big ‘til I went on tour with him.

What’s his big song?

He’s just got so many songs dude. He’s got a song with Wiz Khalifa, with Chris Brown…

Well, what’s your favorite of his?

I like “Smoke Clear.” “The Wax Room,” too.

What about your favorite tracks on your solo album?

“Round And Round.” It’s progressive, and it’s got a dope drop in it.

What do you mean by progressive?

It doesn’t sound like other songs, but when you hear it, it still sounds dope, and fresh. It’s not TOO weird.

You just cut a track with Berner called “Packboys.” What’s it got that isn’t on your solo record?

[Berner and I] made that song on tour. It’s a double entendre. Packboys could be like your crew, your pack, or it could be work, you know what I mean. The difference

between that song and my album? [scratches his chin for a second]

First of all, The Mekanix made the track. They’re big in the bay; they probably make 50 percent or more of the hits out of the bay. The beats for them, I mean. So I got the track from them. When I was writing “Packboys,” I wanted it to hit a lot of people. It could be international; the lyrics are big. It’s very bay-ish. Has that sound to it. Whereas with my music, I just do what I want—I don’t think about bay area, east coast, or whatever.

At what point in your career with Pyrx did you start thinking about a solo project?

[Pyrx] lost a drummer 2 years ago—we were doin’ really big shows, like Reggae On The River and shit; things were getting really hopeful. With bands it’s difficult to keep everybody together—maybe somebody has an alcohol problem, or someone’s getting a wife, or whatever. So we ran into that, and that was the second time we’d gotten so far in the game and had something set us back.

I produce all [the Pyrx] records and engineer them, it was something I was already doing. Plus, I don’t put a

BLAZE1T A L K S S H O P

O n H i s S o l o C a r e e r, G l a s s b l o w i n g , a n d C o l l a b o r a t i n g W i t h B e r n e r

B y H o w l


lot of the hip-hop into Pyrx albums; it’s more of a reggae/hip-hop thing. So [the solo project] is an outlet for that. I wanna make something that I don’t have to depend on someone else to perform.

I’ve been back and forth from New York to LA, and the Bay, and Jersey, working with different producers, really trying to involve myself in people who are doing bigger stuff than I am. Kinda absorbing what they’re doing.

I was working with this guy named Commissioner Gordon in New York, and he’s got so many platinum records that a lot of them are shoved in the corner of the studio, not even on the wall. He found and produced Amy Winehouse, that was one of his major artists. He done Fifty Cent, Mary J. Blige, all the East Coast stuff.

What’ve you been learning from these bigger producers?

Mostly just about sitting on the record. Listening to it, then sitting on it for a couple weeks, then coming back and hearing it. Also, listening to it with different people; listening to it with bigger executives in the room. Like, I’ll have a record, but then I’ll listen to it with different people, and that same record will sound TOTALLY

different to me. You don’t even have to talk about it. All of a sudden you hear [stuff to change], and they don’t even have to tell you! But they’re really sayin, “Do you hear that?” without even sayin’ it. It’s really humbling.

I went out there with a friend to mix a song we’d done, “World Peace,” with Commissioner. The second day I was there, he was wanting to sign me, so I stayed a couple weeks to work out a deal. Three months later, I stayed there for another three weeks and worked on a bunch of records with him.

Have you toured on the solo stuff yet?

Yeah, I just put two albums out on 4/20, and right after that I went on tour with Devin The Dude and Berner for a thirty day run. It was kind of a test run—I hadn’t released my album on iTunes yet or anything, ‘cause I still wanted to make sure everything was right with it. So we’re finishing it up now. I think E-40’s gonna come on “Jus Sayin” for a verse, then I’m gonna put “Packboys” on it too, when I release it.

That was your first tour going solo, not with Pyrx.

How’d that go?

I brought my drummer and guitarist from Pyrx to back up the tracks. We opened almost the whole tour, but some of the shows were for 1200 people, so you didn’t really feel like you were opening. The smallest show we played on that tour was for 200 people.

I hadn’t got to play this music on anyone, and it was the ultimate test. It’s a cold crowd: They’d never heard of me, never heard my music. So if I got them reacting to my music right away, I know I got something good going.

We had a thing we would do—we’d play one song, stop, then I had a bunch of five song EP’s and I’d say, “Who wants a CD?” and fuckers would just run up to the stage. They’d be stuck there. We dropped a super dope track, we baited ‘em in with a CD, then they were stuck. It was cool. When you’re out there, and no one’s heard of you… if they like you, and you give them a free CD, they’re like “Okay I’ll fuck with ‘em.” Otherwise it’s always a standoff for the first two or three shows, before they become a fan.

So we were sellin’ shirts, along with the full length album. A slow night

for us, we’d make like 300 bucks at the merch booth.

How would you say you measured up in the eyes of the audience on this first tour?

It’s gotta be about 70 percent, 80 percent of them, that I just assumed they liked me ‘cause they shouted, or put their hands up. Maybe others liked me, but just weren’t very active, I dunno. It was really cool, gave me the strength to keep doin’ it, see what do. Keep riding the wave.

What’s next for you and Berner?

I just signed a seven song deal with him. All singles. We’re going to publish an album, then put the singles out one at a time, then I’ll probably put two of those seven on the new album I’m working on.

Right now I gotta figure out the marketing side of this business… Then I need to get a single, too, and just push it. The people I talk to in the business, they’re like, “Yo, they’re not gonna fuckin’ know who you are ‘cause of your album and shit, they’re gonna know who you are cause of one or two fuckin’ songs, then they’re gonna come listen to your albums. So you got

“GLASS BLOWING

AND PRODUCING MUSIC ARE

REALLY SIMILAR,

‘CAUSE THEY TAKE 100%

FOCUS.”


this shit backwards. Just focus on pushing one or two songs.” As an artist you want to get your album done, so I just put out two albums, ‘cause I don’t want it all just to sit there! But at the same time, whatever your single is, you gotta make sure that shit’s right. You’re going to put money and time into promotin’ that shit, and you want people to like what they’re hearing.

When do you think you’ll land on that single? That solid gold shit?

I dunno, it’s crazy, I feel like we’re really close to it… I dunno how you answer that. That’s the fuckin’ million dollar question to every major label. I seen so many stories on that… With Katy Perry and “I Kissed A Girl,” she stomped her feet about making her label put that out as her first single. [The label guys] weren’t trying to do that, they thought it was too much, but it blew her the fuck up, dude.

You got public radio, but that’s all back-end deal shit, then you got college or community radio, you could break through those channels, but I’m just now starting to understand it all. I just hired this Internet nerd team that understands statistics and blogs; there’s a lot to this shit, to get your record hot without mainstream channeling. Once I learn that stuff more, then I’ll have a better answer about when that big song will happen for me. “Fire” is a pretty big hit, I think, and “Block Is Hot” is big… [The guys I worked with on that

track] want me to go to Jamaica and shoot a video. That’s another thing, I don’t wanna put a lot of money into making a video unless the song’s gonna be a hit. I notice these days, people will put out the song, see if it hits real big, then they’ll put money into a video.

How do you balance your work, with running the smoke shop along with the music?

Well, I’m the CEO of all these companies—Blaze1 clothing, Blaze ‘N J’s, Blaze1 glass, and the Blaze1 record label. When it comes down to the shop, I meet here with my management team once a week, and we stay on top of everything else through phone calls, email, etc.

I’ve just been in the studio. Last two years, people have been jokin’, “Aw, Blaze retired from blowing glass.” What was happening was, people would order these pieces from me, and these headies would take me a week to make. [“Heady” in reference to glass means a lot of details, bro. More intricate, artful glass requires more skill; makes more money.] Then if one breaks, I have to put another week into it! And that’s two weeks, out. And people would wait six months—it’s not uncommon to wait six months for a super heady piece. Even with tattoo artists or something—if you’re in demand, you’re in demand. It’s not uncommon.

So it would take a bunch of time for people to get these pieces from me. It was just taking too long, dude. I’d get way too back-ordered, and start to feel hella bad. It makes me look like I don’t give a fuck, and that’s not what I’m about. So I just stopped taking orders about a year and half ago, ‘cause it was the only way I was gonna get my album done.

Glass blowing and producing music are really similar, ‘cause they take 100 percent focus. You know what I mean, every little detail. They’re similar like that. Especially if you’re tryin’ to make hit records. Like, you could make B-sides all day long, but that shit don’t really matter… Some of those are my favorite songs, other artist’s B-sides records… But you need those one or two BIG songs, where everyone’s like, “Fuck, did you hear that song?” that everybody wants to play. I think if you don’t get to that level, you’re still missing something.

See Blaze1 perform live at Senator Theatre on September 12th with Berner and San Quinn. Also featuring Chain Gaing, GThizz, Cody G, and DJ Lil50. $20 presales at Blaze ‘N J’s, or $24 at the door. Doors open at 7pm.

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WE ARE LOOKING FOR CONTESTANTS TO BATTLE IT OUT IN DUFFY'S 25 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

GONG SHOW ON SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 27TH AT 8:00PM.

What's a GONG SHOW? Hungry amateurs will compete in a talent contest

that will be judged by a panel of local celebrities. If the act is so bad that the judges can't bear to watch it, they have the power to hit the gong and send the

performer or performers off the stage. If they are not gonged, they move forward in the competition where they can win incredible prizes sponsored by none other than Duffy's Tavern. We are searching for that perfect act -there is no boundary! Dance,

song, performance, strange tricks, anything goes as long as you don't get GONGED!

Performers need to sign up at Duffy's before Tuesday, September 2 at Duffy's Tavern.

337 MAIN ST.• 530-343-1745


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134 BROADWAY ST, CHICO, CA I 530.893.5253



KEITH GREENINGER

CHICO WORLD MUSIC FESTIVAL

COME ALIVE

LED ZEPPELIN IV

THE RENDEZVOUSThe award winning singer songwriter comes to Chico to celebrate his newly released album Soul Connec-tion with a band of seasoned veterans: Billy Payne from Little Feat on keys, Hutch Hutchinson and Ricky Fataar from Bonnie Raitt’s band on bass and drums, and Randy Ray Mitchell from Warron Zevon’s band on the guitar. He sounds a lot like all the other folk/coun-try songwriters, but his voice is uniquely his own, with an earthy soulfulness suffusing his notes. I’ll just say that again: “suffusing.” Tickets are $22 through chicotickets.com, doors open at 6:30pm.

CHICO STATE CAMPUSThe annual festival returns to its home on the front lawns of Chico State’s Laxson Auditorium. On Ensem-ble, playing at 2pm and 5pm, is a Los Angeles-based taiko drumming group. Kartik Seshadri is landing in Chico to educate y’all on the wonders of the sitar. Led Kaapana, George Kahumoku Jr., and Uncle Richard are Grammy winning players of Hawaiian music. This is a FREE day for YOU, and it goes from 10am-6pm.

LOST ON MAINThe festival life takes over Lost On Main for a night, thanks to that epic man Johnny Dutro. Luminar-ies from Venice Beach, will be headlining. They’re self-proclaimed hip-hop emissaries of peace, and their live band/hip-hop/funk fusion will help you find your dance with ease. Also featuring Soul Union, vendors, and live art by David Selkirk. $10, 9pm.

BMU AUDITORIUMThe latest front-to-back album tribute night hosted by Uncle Dad’s Art Collective finds its biggest venue yet in the BMU. One of Led’s greatest albums, played track by track by some of Chico’s greatest talent. Art-ists include Everybody In Outer Space dance troupe, The LoLos, Bogg, Aubrey Debauchery & The Broken Bones, The Shimmies, and more. Advance tickets at University Box Office are $8 general, $5 students. 7pm

Monday, September 8th

Saturday, September 13th

Thursday, September 11th

Saturday, September 13th

This Week Only...BEST BETS IN ENTERTAINMENT

SUBMIT YOUR EVENTS [email protected]


Ongoing Events: 8 Monday The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pmChico Art Center: National All Media Juried Exhibition. 10am-4pmChico Womens Club: Prenatal Yoga. 5:30-6:30pmDownLo: Pool League. 3 player teams, signup with bartender. 7pm. All ages until 10pmJanet Turner Museum: Inhabitable: The Sense Of City. 11am-4pmMaltese: Open Mic Comedy or Mu-sic, alternates every week. Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11:30pmThe Tackle Box: Latin Dance Classes. Free, 7-9pmUniversity Art Gallery: “Flip The Script” by Pablo Cristi. 9am-5pmUniversity Bar: Free Pool 6-8pmYoga Center Of Chico: Sound Healing w. Emiliano. Breathwork, Meditation, Healing.

9 Tuesday 100th Monkey: Fusion Belly Dance mixed-level class, with BellySutra. $8/class or $32/month. 6pmOpen Mic plus showcase by local musicians. 7pmChico Art Center: National All Media Juried Exhibition. 10am-4pmChico Women’s Club: Yoga. 9-10am. Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm. Followed by Capoeira, $3-$10. 7:30-8:30pmCrazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke. 21+DownLo: Game night. All ages until 10pmHoliday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-10pm Janet Turner Museum: Inhabitable: The Sense Of City. 11am-4pmLaSalles: ’90s night. 21+Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-Close

Panamas: Tropical Tuesdays ft. Mack Morris & DJ2K. 10pmStudio Inn Lounge: Karaoke. 8:30pm-1amThe Tackle Box: Karaoke, 9pmUniversity Art Gallery: “Flip The Script” by Pablo Cristi. 9am-5pmUniversity Bar: Free Pool 6-8pmWoodstocks: Trivia Challenge. Call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts 6:30pm

10 Wednesday The Bear: Trike Races. Post time 10pmChico Art Center: National All Media Juried Exhibition. 10am-4pmChico Women’s Club: Afro Brazilian Dance. 5:30-7pm DownLo: Wednesday night jazz. 8 Ball Tournament, signups 6pm, starts 7pmDuffys: Dance Night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. $1, 9pmThe Graduate: Free Pool after 10pmJanet Turner Museum: Inhabitable: The Sense Of City. 11am-4pmThe Maltese: Friends With Vinyl! Bring your vinyl and share up to 3 songs/12 minutes on the turntable. 9pm-1amPanamas: Game Night. Prizes & Spe-cials. Free to play!The Tackle Box: Line Dance classes. Free, 5:30-7:30pm. Swing Dance classes. Free, 7:30-9:30pmUniversity Art Gallery: “Flip The Script” by Pablo Cristi. 9am-5pmUniversity Bar: Free Pool 6-8pmWoodstocks: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts at 8pm

11 Thursday The Beach: Live DJ, no cover, 9pmThe Bear: DJ Dancing. Free, 9pmChico Art Center: National All Media

Juried Exhibition. 10am-4pmDownLo: Chico Jazz Collective. 8-11pm. All ages until 10pmThe Graduate: Free Pool after 10pmHas Beans Downtown: Open Mic Night. 7-10pm. Signups start at 6pmHoliday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 8pm-mid-nightJanet Turner Museum: Inhabitable: The Sense Of City. 11am-4pmLaSalles: Free live music on the patio. 6-9pmMaltese: Karaoke. 9pm-closePanamas: Buck night and DJ Eclectic & guests on the patio. 9pmQuackers: Karaoke night with Andy. 9pm-1amUniversity Art Gallery: “Flip The Script” by Pablo Cristi. 9am-5pmUniversity Bar: Free Pool 6-8pmWoodstocks: Open Mic NightYoga Center Of Chico: Ecstatic Dance with Clay Olson. 7:30-9:30pm

12 Friday The Beach: Live DJ, 9pmThe Bear: DJ Dancing. Free, 9pmCafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg. 11amChico Art Center: National All Media Juried Exhibition. 10am-4pmCrazy Horse Saloon: Fusion Fridays, the best country, rock, oldies, 80s & top 40. Country dance lessons 9-10:30pmDownLo: ½ off pool. All ages until 10pm. Live Music, 8pmDuffys: Pub Scouts - Happy Hour. 4-7pmThe Graduate: Free Pool after 10pmHoliday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party. 8pm-midnightJanet Turner Museum: Inhabitable: The Sense Of City. 11am-4pmLaSalles: Open Mic night on the patio. 6-9pm

Maltese: Happy hour with live jazz by Bogg. 5-7pm. LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pmPanamas: Jigga Julee, DJ Mah on the patio. 9pmPeeking: BassMint. Weekly electronic dance party. $1-$5. 9:30pmQuackers: Live DJ. 9pmSultan’s Bistro: Bellydance Performance. 6:30-7:30pmUniversity Art Gallery: “Flip The Script” by Pablo Cristi. 9am-5pmUniversity Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

13 Saturday The Beach: Live DJ, 9pmThe Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pmCrazy Horse Saloon: Ladies Night Dancing. 10pm-1:30am DownLo: 9 Ball tournament. Signups at noon, starts at 1pm. All ages until 10pmThe Graduate: Free Pool after 10pmHoliday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. 70s and 80s music. The Molly Gunn’s Revival! 8pm-midnightJanet Turner Museum: Inhabitable: The Sense Of City. 11am-4pmLaSalles: 80’s Night. 8pm-closePanamas: DJ Eclectic on the patio. 9pmUniversity Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

14 Sunday Dorothy Johnson Center: Soul Shake Dance Church. Free-style dance wave, $8-$15 sliding scale. 10am-12:30pmDownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with ev-ery $8 purchase. All ages until 10pmLaSalles: Karaoke. 9pmMaltese: Live Jazz 4-7pm. Trivia 8pmTackle Box: Karaoke, 8pm

New & Exciting:9 Tuesday Sierra Nevada Big Room: Dustbowl Revival. $17, 7:30pm10 Wednesday DownLo: Pat Hull, Julian Ruck, Olivia Awbrey (PDX), Katie Barrett. Free, 8pmMonstros: Gaytheist, Teeph, Los New Huevos, #whitegirlwasted. $5, 8pm11 Thursday Blue Room: S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders. $10, 7:30pmChico Theatre Company: Barefoot In The Park. $12 children, $20 adults. 7:30pmDownLo: Lisa Valentine And The Unlove-ables, Chico Jazz Collective. Free, 8pm.LaSalles: Happy Hour with Los Papi Chulos. 6-9pm12 Friday Blue Room: S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders. $12 advance, $15 door, 7:30pmChico Theatre Company: Barefoot In The Park. $12 children, $20 adults. 7:30pmChico Womens Club: The Laugh Is Back comedy showcase hosted by Bob Back-strom. $10 adv., $15 door, 7pm. Second show for $5 at 10pm.DownLo: Jeff Pershing Benefit Show.Harlen Adams Theatre CSUC: Centen-nial Pipe Organ Series Recital. Donations accepted, 7:30pmLaSalles: Happy Hour with Pat Hull. 6-9pmLatin Heat Friday. 9pmLaxson: Funkadesi. $16 adults, $10 stu-dents, 7:30pmLost On Main: Talking Heads tribute Naive Melodies, Swamp Zen. $8, 9pmMaltese: Caravan Of Glam (Portland Queer Cabaret). $10, 7pm13 Saturday BMU: Uncle Dad’s Art Collective presents Led Zeppelin IV. $7 students, $10, 7pmBlue Room: S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders. $12 advance, $15 door, 7:30pmChico Theatre Company: Barefoot In The Park. $12 children, $20 adults. 7:30pmLaSalles: Happy Hour w. O.B.E. 5:30-8pmLost On Main: Funk Trek, Sofa King. $5, 9pmMaltese: Ugly As Hell, Black Fong. $5, 9pmSilver Dollar Commercial Building: Chi-co Reptile Show. $7 adults, 10am-5pm14 Sunday Blue Room: S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders. $12 advance, $15 door, 7:30pmChico Theatre Company: Barefoot In The Park. $12 children, $20 adults. 2pm

EAT. DRINK. PLAY.

Find Out How you Can Play Pool for Only $1/Day! 319 Main Street (530) 892-2473

LESSONS, LEAGUES AND TOURNAMENTS!

GREAT FOOD!

LIVE MUSIC!

PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAMFACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHYOn The Town


by Bob [email protected]

Immaculate Infection

Labor Day has come and gone—the unofficial end of summer, but today still feels plenty warm. I’m sweating a little as I sit out here on the porch and write this. The thirst for beer struck early today. I’m halfway through a can of Natural Light and it’s only twenty after ten. No place to go and nothing to do. Stiv is sitting out here with me. She’s a cool, petite black cat. Stiv recently realized that so long as she acts like she owns the place she can come into the house and the dogs won’t eat her. She’s been taking full advantage.

Fall Crops

Trish tells me it’s the right time to start sticking garlic in the ground; also lettuce, greens, beets, carrots, and other root crops. I’m feeling pressure to work on the Death or Glory though before I can even think about gardening. That project has been great, but, for better or for worse, I will be happy when it is behind me.

Watermelon Wine

I started a three gallon batch of watermelon wine the other day. I picked up a humongous melon at Julia’s fruit stand in Dairyville, deseeded it, chopped it into chunks, placed the chunks in a nylon straining bag, and then

Prisoners Can Make a Pretty De-cent Hooch

mashed it to juice and pulp. The mixture goes into a 5-gallon plastic bucket and to that I added hot water, citric acid and tannin, and about six pounds of sugar. Twenty four hours later I added the yeast, covered the bucket, and right now it is fizzling and bubbling away by the wood stove.

After the initial fermentation settles down I will remove the nylon bag with the watermelon pulp in it and transfer the remaining liquids into a glass carboy—basically a water cooler type jug. That gets fitted with an airlock that allows the carbon dioxide generated by the fermentation process to escape, while preventing air, and contaminating bacteria, from getting into the wine. Then you let it sit for a long while, weeks or months depending on how long it takes for the particles in the wine to settle and the liquid to clear. Transferring it from one carboy to another using a siphoning hose helps it clear further, and when the wine is as clear as can be, then it get bottled, corked, and stored in a cool place until it’s time to drink.

That aging process is sort of mystifying to me right now. Some wines can be very drinkable after only a few months, in others it can take several years for the flavors to emerge and temper. So far as I can tell, the darker wines generally take a lot longer to age than the lighter ones do.

Hey, experimentation is all part of the process, and the alcohol is mostly generated within the first few weeks. Even if it tastes like hell it will do the trick. Prisoners can make a pretty decent hooch.

THE END OF SUMMER HAS COME, IT’S TIME TO PLANT FALL CROPS, AND THE MAKING OF WATERMELON WINE.

PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAMFACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY On The Town


by Mona TremeConsider the Platypus

There are many legends about that fantastic creature known as the redhead. Contrary to what some silly scientist might tell you, most of them are true, especially the more dire ones. I know this because I happen to be a redhead. So, today I thought I’d use this bit of Synthesis real estate to clarify what’s really up with gingers.

Is your hair really that color?

WAT. It’s crazy how often I hear this one. Sure, there are a lot of faux gingers out there trying to snag a bit of glory, but it’s kind of obvious that I’m a natural. I mean, blue eyes, dappled see-through skin that burns easily? Um, DUH.

I’m a daywalker, possessing some human traits in addition to the redhead ones. Because of them, my hair did start showing hints of mousy plain Italian brown along with the encroaching silver several years ago. For a while I replenished my natural color with the blood of virgins… and then I moved here. Virgins in this town? Yeah, right! You depraved horndogs barely stay clothed and/or upright long enough to have breakfast! So these days, I use the blood of defeated enemies. (Tip: it also goes great in a smoothie!)

Is it true that redheads steal souls?

Yep. Lacking one is the only thing that a redhead could possibly be jealous about, and of course we take that shit to 11. One night long ago at a Soulless Ginger convention, we collectively agreed to go out into the world and snare what we were so cruelly denied. The mark of success was to be the freckle, and we spread the story that they were actually “angel kisses” to dissuade mortals from thinking they represented anything sinister.

“Bullshit,” you may say. “You get freckles from being in the sun.” That’s just happy coincidence. See, in order to steal a soul, you have to be within line of sight of your victim. People are outdoors much more often in the summer, and in sunny climates. So if a friend of yours has more freckles in August than they did in March, that just means they’re a good hunter.

My pastor says red hair means you’re one of Satan’s minions.

Hey, why the judging? It takes a lot of effort for a redhead to not burst into flames or start swearing in frenzied backwards Latin whenever we cross a church threshold. Give a little credit, yeah? Besides, “minion” implies Satan is like our boss or something. He swings by for a beer once in a while, and we always get together for Christmas. But he is an attention whore, so I can see where you’d think he was running things.

Gingers are hot-tempered, right?

Okay, this one isn’t true. I am one with the Universe. Life is beautiful and sacred, and it is meant to be lived gently as we tread softly on this good earth.

When’s Kick A Ginger Day this year?

At the start of Six Weeks in Fucking Traction Season.

Uh… I mean… Ommm……

A Ginger Answers Your Questions


Pageant Dads, Heatwarmer (WA), and

Belda BeastTuesday, September 2nd, 2014, at 1078

Gallery

BY HOWLPHOTO BY TARA JOHNSON

Tonight was to be my first time seeing Pageant Dads at an actual concert (and not at an awards show, or a variety show or something, where their sets tend to be sort-of choreographed comedic trainwrecks), and I was excited. But first, we have Belda Beast.

Right off the bat, you notice some veterans in their line-up: Zach Zeller, who’s spent a fair amount of time as an acoustic singer-songwriter (see his music video “It Was True” on YouTube), and Jeff Cole from Monk Warrior, who was playing lead guitar.

This Redding rock band was really solid, and they maintained a nice sense of motion, but they didn’t offer very groundbreaking songs. These were four great musicians that weren’t taking enough creative risks for my taste—amazing drumming though, and I loved it when Zach would scream. More of that, please!

Through most of Heatwarmer’s set I was gone getting sto— I mean, doing journalism (see page 8). I came back an hour later from a very enlightening interview, in an uplifted state perfect for music appreciation, but I only caught this Seattle band’s last two songs.

I was immediately struck by their warm, fuzzy tones, coming out of a nice keyboard, a nice guitar, and a drummer who didn’t use the snare very much, preferring to make large splooshy sounds with these huge crash cymbals of his. The singer/guitarist sounded less like a rock vocalist, and more like some annoying uncle reading children’s books out loud.

It left a weird taste in my mouth. Heatwarmer’s music was so good though, that I could (almost) forgive the buzzkill vocals. There was a fucking mindblowing dual keyboard/guitar solo that had me hallucinating colorful shapes floating through space. I was thankful to experience these guys live, all weirdnesses aside.

As mentioned before, I was used to seeing Pageant Dads sets that imploded before they could really begin, for comedic purposes, to fantastic effect. Tonight they played so many actual songs, front to back, that I was forced

to actually evaluate them as a band—turns out they’re pretty damn good. Really solid math rock that gets really heavy, and really trippy, with occasional hit-or-miss vocals. You probably aren’t surprised to hear of their awesomeness—anything where Alex Coffin and/or Gavin Fitzgerald are given free rein tends to become amazing. “Baby Momma Drama” was the best track, with a climax line that went something like, “No baby momma, no momma drama! Simple!”

I suppose it’s my duty here to relate the Dads’ latest

misadventures as well as their music, for you sad saps who were foolish enough to be absent. So, their truck broke down on the way out to Burning Man, and fate brought a new friend into their lives, to fix their vehicle, and elevate their souls. The five of them partied hard on the side of the highway for a half hour, until their new friend mistakenly drank some lighter fluid meant for fire dancing, ate some too-old pasta, and died. At the end of the concert, they did a poi dance in honor of their deceased friend, then brought the corpse out and set it on fire.


It’s Saturday, June 7th, 2014. I’m at Wasted Space in Downtown Salt Lake City. It’s Day 4 of Crucialfest, an all-out showcase of the best that underground heavy music has to offer. Bands like Red Fang, Helms Alee and Cult Leader are headlining the shows, and a slew of little-known-to-better-known regional bands are taking the stage all day, everyday, for four days.

A gentleman gets on stage wearing high-waisted slacks with suspenders, a button-up white shirt, and a fedora to boot. He’s accompanied by one of the most metal drummers I’ve ever seen and a bass player that could have been picked out of the grunge era. This is Gaythiest. They are not metal. They are rock and roll at its finest. They begin to play their tunes at a frantic yet calculated pace, with well thought-out power chord rhythms, powerful drums, and tight bass lines. Gaythiest soars through a half-hour set leaving the crowd of 50 or so (including me) wanting more.

Portland’s Gaythiest—Jason Rivera (guitar), Tim Hoff (bass), and Nick Parks (drums)—has been around since 2011, and they tour whenever time permits them to. They happen to be coming to Monstros on September 10th. I had a chance to speak with Jason about Gaythiest.

Gaythiest. Why?

JR: “I was blurting out names and it seemed original. I’m gay and an atheist. I was like, “This is perfect.” Tim and Nick loved it. Seemed to fit what the band was going for.

Your lyrical content has a broad, socially conscious and self-aware theme, while also being humorous. Is that on purpose? Or just what you felt at the time?

JR: It usually takes a while to get it all together. It’s humorous on purpose. I find most things absurd, and it works its way into what I’m singing about.

Do you set out to make lyrics first, or does the music take precedent and you meld the

For those of you who are uninitiated, the Butcher Shop is one of those uniquely Chico events—unique, even, among all the other uniquely Chico events. It’s an alchemical combination of several things you may be familiar with: biking in the fading golden light of a late summer evening, sitting out on the grass under the emerging stars, shifting uncomfortably while you watch inappropriately young children running unsupervised through a crowd of half drunk adults while an actor shouts FUCK into a microphone several times… In essence, it’s a festival of locally written and produced theatre, music, and dance, and it’s a gathering place for lovers of the incredibly weird. It happens annually over Labor Day weekend out on Estes Road off the end of Normal Avenue.

For those of you who are familiar with the Butcher Shop but couldn’t make it out this year, allow me to offer you my experience and opinions, which you are free to adopt as your own for future conversations:

This year was a little different, presumably because it was “Presented by Slow Theatre,” Denver Latimer’s (prominent member of the founding family of both this festival and the Blue Room Theatre) latest project. The theory behind “Slow Theatre” involves a lot of workshopping and research and discussion of scripts from concept to stage, among “ever widening circles of our community to promote critical dialogue.” Maybe that had nothing to do with the firmer emphasis on political commentary and the occasional drift toward, well…

This year’s theme was “A Crack in the Climate.” Our rapidly-approaching-desperate

lyrics to them after?

JR: Usually the music comes first, and the melody, and then the lyrics come. And with more time, I fine tune, then Tim will chime in with back-up vocals.

What are some realizations or revelations you’ve had being in an underground band that tours and records as often as you do, most likely with your own money?

JR: Figuring out ways to keep our day jobs so that we can afford to make a go of it. We’ve been really lucky going out and making enough to make it worth it. The first tour we had our van break down, but since then it’s been better. We haven’t gone out for more than two weeks at a time, but that’s the next thing.

What’s your goal and mission as an underground band?

JR: Just to continue playing and making it work. I don’t know—it’s hard to take a band not too seriously, but seriously enough to keep going and having fun. It’s been working so far.

Gaythiest will be playing with locals Teeph, #whitegirlwasted (members of Badger, Mom and Dad) and Los New Huevos (members of Zabaleen, the Nogoodnix, Severance Package) on September 10th at Monstros at 8pm. It’s a mere $5. All ages. Come get that ‘za son.

drought played a major role, as did fracking, endangered species, activism, splitting the state, and Faustian bargains with the Prince of Darkness who will offer you all indulgence while robbing you of your very soul.

There were some segments that basically went with a rhetoric-pageant to stroke the ideology of the crowd (Yay, you TELL that Oil Man you care more about future generations than you do about money!) rather than having fun with theatre, during which my attention started drifting more toward the drunken conversations of the people around me (I get bored easily). For the most part, however, the serious themes didn’t overshadow the character that made me fall in love with this event in the first place.

What is that, you ask? I love the silliness. I love seeing top notch actors who’ve captivated me with their words and their presence—who’ve made me think or cry or hold my breath in anticipation—getting together and playing caricatures in bizarre plotlines, making bawdy jokes, shamelessly enjoying themselves. I love the unpredictability of the collaborations between artistic thinkers. I love the massive community that comes out to enjoy it, the feeling of having this special experience in common. I love the music, the perfectly ironic songs that the band, Dave the Butcher, uses to stitch all the plays together. I love the whole scene of it.

A final word of advice for those of you who plan to go next year: arrive early enough to get a good spot if you want to really experience the theatre, bring something to sit on, and pack your own ice cream sandwiches because nobody told me they wouldn’t have them this year and I was really bummed.

Gaytheist Comes To Monstros September 10th

A Crack in the Climate Butcher Shop 2014

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Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo

Koz McKev is on YouTube, on cable 11 BCTV and is heard on 90.1FM KZFR Chico. Also available by appointment for personal horo-

scopes call (530)891-5147 or e-mail [email protected]

SEPTEMBER 8, 2014BY KOZ MCKEV

The first couple of days this week are dedicated to the full moon in your twelfth house, and all of its Pandora’s Box sort of activity. The moon goes into Aries late Tuesday afternoon through Thursday afternoon. It will feel good to be steering your own ship. Mars moves into your ninth house Saturday afternoon, bringing a new sense of ad-venture. Taking risks will feel good again. Sticking close to home this weekend may be a good idea, as econom-ic opportunities will present themselves to you. Partici-pate and be helpful.

You’re in a very good space these days. Your heart is open to good news. Your creativity feels as if it’s been rekindled. The moon will be in Taurus Thursday night through Sat-urday night. You are ready to move things forward and take them to the next level. Venus transiting your fifth house gives you a greater appreciation for the arts as well as an appetite for love and play. Mercury transiting the sixth house renews your interest in health and service. Patience needs to be prac-ticed, as you are anxious for things to be done with.

You are more conscious as to what you need in love. You feel more creative and your imagination is being acti-vated. Late Saturday night through Sunday will feature a Gemini moon. Be aware that there are two sides to every story. Know your history. Be aware of things that your par-ents and grandparents have been through. Monday’s full moon will bring a lot of activ-ity in your tenth house of ca-reer, talents and skills. Having a deep knowledge of who you are will lead to better work opportunities.

Curiosity is a funny thing. As we reach adolescence and enter the young adult world, it’s important to us to know exactly what is going on in the world. Fads, fashion, and the latest gossip seem to fall in this category, as well as news about, science, politics, and art. Be curious about the things that are worth explor-ing. The full moon teaches you to go toward spiritual heights versus mundane depths. Friday and Saturday will be good for socializing. Sunday it will be best to lay low and recover. Keep in mind the things that make a good foundation for living.

Exploring and expanding your personal values is what is happening to you this week. The full moon may make you painfully aware that you don’t have it all. Surrender to a less attached and less egotistical attitude, and you are likely to come out with flying col-ors. Mercury moves into your third house, helping your un-derstanding as well as you communication to advance. Be aware of the gifts that you bring to the table. Show your talents and skills but remain grounded. Sunday is your best day for being social and see-ing friends.

At this point you are the center of the universe. Clear headed thinking and critical analysis are your specialties. It’s easy to get too caught up in your personal values this week. The full moon inspires love af-fairs, marriage, romance and diplomacy. Keep a cool head as people get involved with their own personal emotion-al drama. The weekend looks good for travel, education and exotic experiences. Be more of a peace keeper and less of a buzz kill. Work on your ability to move with the needs of oth-ers as well as your own.

As humans we all have our blind spots. This is a time when the unseen world is just as important as the seen world. We all share good and bad karma. If you were only good people would find you somewhat boring. You are conscious of the potential to heal and make things right. Financial difficulties will be-gin to improve. The full moon finds you working hard and demonstrating teamwork. Late afternoon Tuesday through late afternoon Thurs-day are best for balancing out the challenges that others have presented to you.

Loners often miss out on rec-ognizing the person that can be a good friend. Good peo-ple are all around you. Your energy level remains high through Saturday when Mars enters your second house of possessions and finding a voice. Monday’s full moon will inspire playfulness, cre-ativity, and being in your heart. Friday and Saturday are good for negotiations and romance. Encourage friends to do things outside in nature with you. Pay attention to what your dreams and sub-conscious might be telling you. Keep an open minded attitude.

You’ve had some challenges and triumphs all at the same time. The full moon is bound to bring up old emotional is-sues. This is a time when your comfort zones will be tested. Knowledgeable friends seem only too quick to give you advice. Tuesday afternoon through Thursday afternoon is best for creative projects, working with children, or just doing the things you love. Saturday afternoon Mars en-ters your sign and gives you that extra kick in the pants needed to get things done. Sunday is best for romance and chilling out with a loved one.

Bad luck can easily turn into good luck. Own your tri-umphs as well as your disap-pointments and learn from them. Make an effort to move your social standing in a pos-itive direction for the next several weeks. Honor your teachers and the people who have helped you out. The full moon activates your neigh-borhood, siblings, friends and the world of education. Friday and Saturday are best for creativity, love and play-fulness. Sunday, take the time to do the work that will get you through the week with ease.

Expecting to be able to con-trol a situation during this time will require help from others. It’s easy to be jealous of what other people have. Guess what? The story of your life and their life isn’t over yet. Even lucky people face diffi-culties in a span of time. Be thankful for what you have. With that said, be sure to lock your valuables during the full moon. Miscreants are likely to be thieving and making a mess of things. The energy of your social life gets revved up over the weekend. Sunday will be easier for relaxation and having fun.

Many people would like to en-gage with you. The week starts strong with a full moon in Pi-sces. Take advantage of the positive and conscious energy around you. Stay true to what your goals and ambitions are. Don’t be sidetracked by other people’s promises or threats. Your ability to be a good lead-er is coming. Lead by example. The weekend looks good for short excursions, neighbor-hood gatherings, and doing the things you feel passion-ate about. Find new ways to display the love that is in your heart.

Libra Scorpio Saggitarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces

22 SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM SEPTEMBE 8 2014

by Anthony Peyton PorterFrom The Edge

NeverAt this stage of my life, the number of things I realize that I’ll never do steadily increases. I don’t know when I began to notice the deadlines that were slipping past except it was years ago. Some things could still happen, and I’ve given up anyway, as a precaution I suppose.

By the time I discovered bicycle racing it was already too late for me to be in the Olympics. I won’t be a sprint or points or road race champion. I’ll never run a 4-minute mile either, or a 10-minute mile for that matter. My six-and-a half-minute mile will have to do.

I’ll never play for the N.B.A. or the N.F.L. or the the N.H.L. or major league baseball. I’ll never win Wimbledon or the Masters. I’ll never get a black belt in anything but a thrift store. I’m probably never gonna climb a mountain, unless I could do it over a period of weeks.

I’m never gonna win a Nobel prize or save a child from drowning or rescue a damsel in distress. I’m never gonna be with a woman more than twenty-two years. In fact, I may not be with another woman at all, a most depressing thought since I seem to be part dog.

I’m not gonna be a hero to anybody, although I realize that the phenomena I know about are few and probably trivial.

I’ve forgotten his name now, but soon after we moved to Chico, I took a workshop with a guy who talked about people wearing metaphorical sunglasses that filtered out some wavelengths of electromagnetic radiation, so that we simply aren’t aware of some things. I’ve discovered enough of my filters to think that I’ll never know about all of them. Giving up on perfect knowledge is a

relief and seems to go along with a willingness to accept whatever shows up without any particular expectations or prerequisites for happiness. Following a star doesn’t mean you expect to get there, just that you’ve picked a direction.

I’ve also abandoned the idea of being a grandfather, which not long ago was a life goal for me. Grandfatherhood is clearly beyond my influence, much less control. Our eldest son recently became a father, but that doesn’t count. Although I call him my son on Facebook, that’s only because there’s no “stepson” option, and he and I have long been clear that he has a father, and it ain’t Anthony.

I’m also never gonna win an Academy Award for anything, having stumbled on those possibilities way too late to start such a journey.

I don’t suppose I’m ever gonna explore much beyond my inner life or discover anything important past my eyelids, which seems to be quite enough, thank You very much.

And I’m never gonna get used to Janice not being here. I try now and then, and occasionally I think I’m moving on, but only for a little while. Sometimes it seems like she’s everywhere, but mostly she’s just not here with me.

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