Sonia Azad

J. Harrell

76-101 Interpretation & Argument Section GG

19 March 2014

Word Count: 906

Etiquette Now

Etiquette plays a big part in culture yet few people realize the full impact it has on

everyday life. Etiquette is fundamental in all social situations across culture, social classes, and

even informal interactions. Though people do not explicitly think about these social rules, it does

not exclude a person from taking part in following these unspoken rules. In recent times,

etiquette has been questioned as the world is globalized and different etiquette rules questions the

correctness of theirs. Most people’s attitude toward etiquette can be separated into the adapters

and traditionalists. Adapters believe in changing etiquette as the situation changes whether it is a

different location or the social norms changing as the era changes. Traditionalists take side with

keeping their personal etiquette the same regardless of culture shift or the people they interact

with. Both parties make excellent points in why their point of view of etiquette works better in

certain social interactions. Regardless of a person’s opinion, no one is exempt from etiquette.

In today’s society the world has become very close in contact with each other through the

economy, new technology, and easier traveling methods. It is easy and affordable compared to a

few decades ago for a person to take a plane to the other side of the world and immerse

themselves in new cultures including new foods and traditions. The problem is, does a traveler

have to pick up their etiquette? In Fisher’s article for The Atlantic, “Welcome to America, Please

Be On Time”, Fisher talks frankly about American etiquette rules travelers need to be aware of

when they visit the country. Fisher points out these social rules from, “a few of the many

English-language tourist guides” implying that knowing the etiquette of the country is very

important for the visitor if there are already multiple guidebooks. Adapters of etiquette would

embrace these guidebooks when traveling to foreign countries. Following the etiquette of a

country is considered polite especially since there could be consequences such as offending a

native. In contrast, some people believe that when traveling, their native country’s etiquette is

what should be kept. Traditionalists of etiquette have multiple reasons to why their etiquette is

appropriate regardless of location or culture with the main reason being that their etiquette is

more courteous. Bagehot brings up an excellent example in, “The tricky business of leaving a

lift”, where he questions, “Why is it so hard to be friendly in Britain English?”. Bagehot talks

about how in America, it is a social norm to give a friendly “good day” when leaving an elevator,

but in Britain the riders of an elevator do not acknowledge each other. Traditionalists could argue

that this American etiquette rule would be an excellent addition to other countries etiquette

because it is better than the Britain’s etiquette rule. There is a fine line between integrating native

etiquette into another culture’s etiquette and encroaching on their societal rules. The

Traditionalists have very few cases where their etiquette would be more appropriate, and with the

risk of offending natives, change is sometimes not worth it.

Etiquette rules can vary among social classes within a culture and cause clashes among

groups similar to traveling to a new country. Even though there are very few differences in

etiquette between social classes, lets say for example the rich and poor of America, the small

differences can cause embarrassment and the person will stick out like a sore thumb. Judith

Martin addresses this controversy in her book “Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct

Behavior” when someones questions the point of different groups having different etiquette

rules, possibly just so they can exclude outsiders. Martin counters the complaint by at first

agreeing, yes, “if you were to attend a function, . . . , you probably wouldn’t know the etiquette

rules,” but continues by pointing out that, “if any of those people attended your function, they

probably wouldn’t know the rules by which you operate”. Martin’s statement support Adapter’s

reasoning that you should change etiquette when necessary especially since change is a two-way

street. It’s respectful to follow other people’s etiquette rules when in other people’s environment

regardless of moving up or down in social rank. Martin’s statement applies to all when she says

“you should make an effort to learn [the etiquette]”. The risk of embarrassment sticks out like a

sore thumb though to Traditionalists. “Embarrassment, a possibility in every face-to-face

encounter”, as iterated by Erving Goffman in his paper “Embarrassment and Social

Organizations”. It happens when a person is uncomfortable or unfamiliar with the social situation

he is in and can be caused by other people. Embarrassment is a very likely possibility when

interacting with people of different social ranks. While etiquette may not be used to exclude

outsiders, Traditionalists believe that the feeling of being an “outsider” causes embarrassment.

[add more here]

New technology has introduced new social situations which brings up the question of

how to create social rules and norms if there is no previous situation to base it off. The internet

has taken over the world in a storm in a great way by connecting information from thousands of

places in a matter of seconds and becoming a mix of cultures, but what is considered kind to one

person could be seen as rude to another.

[Traditionalists v.s. Adapters when new situations are taken into account. Ex: Internet,

what would traditionalists/adapters do in this situation? Which would work better?]

Works Cited

1. Bagehot. "The Tricky Business of Leaving a Lift." The Economist. The Economist

Newspaper, 12 July 2010. Web. 21 Mar. 2014.

2. Fisher, Max. "Welcome To America, Please Be On Time: What Guide Books Tell Foreign

Visitors to the U.S." The Atlantic. Atlantic Media Company, n.d. Web. 21 Mar. 2014.

3. Goffman, Erving. "Embarrassment and Social Organization." JSTOR. The University of

Chicago Press, Nov. 1956. Web. 21 Mar. 2014.

4. Martin, Judith. Miss Manners: Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. New York, NY:

Warner ., 1985. Print.

5. Preece, Jenny. "Etiquette Online: From Nice to Necessary." Communications of the

"ACM47.4 (2004): n. pag. Web. 21 Mar. 2014.

6. Tuttle, Steve. "'Down in Front!': A Few Pointers for Baseball's Worst Fans." The Atlantic.

Atlantic Media Company, 16 June 2012. Web. 20 Mar. 2014.