Mean GirlsMean GirlsAn exploration of girl bullyingAn exploration of girl bullying

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By :Steven VittoBy :Steven Vitto

Behavior SpecialistBehavior Specialist

What Is Bullying?Bullying in its truest form is comprised of a series of repeated intentionally cruel incidents, involving the same children, in the same bully and victim roles.

The BullyThe Bully

Traditionally, when we have thought Traditionally, when we have thought about the word “bully,” we generally about the word “bully,” we generally think about a boy.think about a boy.

It is increasingly evident that girl It is increasingly evident that girl “bullies can be just as harmful but “bullies can be just as harmful but usually operate in a subversive usually operate in a subversive manner”manner”

Girl BullyingGirl Bullying

Why would girls bully different thanWhy would girls bully different thanboys?boys?

We live in a society where girls are We live in a society where girls are supposed to be “polite” and “passive.”supposed to be “polite” and “passive.”Our society conditions girls to respond to Our society conditions girls to respond to threats by either internalizing them or threats by either internalizing them or responding subversively.responding subversively.As a society and culture, we have shaped As a society and culture, we have shaped the topograhy of girl bullying.the topograhy of girl bullying.

Vitto, 2007

““The scars of The scars of being bullied being bullied

last a life time” last a life time”

They believe the lie that it’s They believe the lie that it’s just a just a normalnormal part of part of growing upgrowing up

Only 25% of students report that Only 25% of students report that teachers intervene in bullying teachers intervene in bullying situations while 71% of the teachers situations while 71% of the teachers believe they always intervene believe they always intervene

•bullying occurs once every seven minutes

•on average, bullying episodes are brief, approximately 37 seconds long

•the majority of bullying occurs in or close to school buildings

•most victims are unlikely to report bullying

•only 25% of students report that teachers intervene in bullying situations, while 71% of teachers believe they always intervene

RESEARCH ON BULLYINGRESEARCH ON BULLYING

Sometimes girls join in with the bully to avoid becoming her next Sometimes girls join in with the bully to avoid becoming her next target!!target!!

How common is bullying?How common is bullying?

Nansel et al. (2001): Nansel et al. (2001): national sample of 15,600 national sample of 15,600 students in grades 6-10students in grades 6-10– 19% 19% bullied othersbullied others ”sometimes” or more often ”sometimes” or more often

9% bullied others weekly9% bullied others weekly

– 17% 17% were bulliedwere bullied “sometimes” or more often “sometimes” or more often 8% were bullied weekly8% were bullied weekly

– 6% reported bullying 6% reported bullying andand being bullied being bullied “sometimes” or more often“sometimes” or more often

JAMAJAMA 2001;285:2094-2100 2001;285:2094-2100

Victims of girl bullying often internalize their pain Victims of girl bullying often internalize their pain and may harm themselves before reporting the and may harm themselves before reporting the bully to their parentsbully to their parents

Definitions

Bullying occurs when someone with more power tries to hurt someone with less power using physical or emotional strategies over and over. Not isolated incidents.

Play vs. BullyingPlay vs. Bullying

Usually friendsUsually friends Not friendsNot friends

2 or more2 or more May be group vs. oneMay be group vs. one

= power, even if = power, even if Unequal powerUnequal power

adjustedadjusted

Smiling, friendly,Smiling, friendly, Laughter, scorn Laughter, scorn

laughter or neutral Sad, depressed, cryinglaughter or neutral Sad, depressed, crying

Why Care???Why Care???

1 out of 4 kids is bullied1 out of 4 kids is bullied1 out of 5 admit to bullying1 out of 5 admit to bullying7 % of 87 % of 8thth grade students miss school each month due to bullying grade students miss school each month due to bullying100,000 students carry guns to school.100,000 students carry guns to school.80% of bully altercations end up in a fight.80% of bully altercations end up in a fight.Adult intervention 4%, peer intervention 11%, no intervention 85%. Adult intervention 4%, peer intervention 11%, no intervention 85%. Many students recover from bullying but a percentage don’t. That Many students recover from bullying but a percentage don’t. That percentage may keep the scars for years or exhibit negative behaviors percentage may keep the scars for years or exhibit negative behaviors including violence.including violence.Between 1992 and 2008 there were Between 1992 and 2008 there were OVER 400OVER 400 violent deaths at violent deaths at schools.schools.Strong correlation between being a bully and having a criminal record Strong correlation between being a bully and having a criminal record in the future. in the future. Victims often have difficulty with focusing in class, high anxiety and Victims often have difficulty with focusing in class, high anxiety and stress (Bullyproof research project, 2005)stress (Bullyproof research project, 2005)

Bullying brings out the dark side of the human spirit

Bullies: Who are they

Need powerEnjoy others sufferingLittle empathyDefend themselves by stating

they were provokedDefiant toward adultsAntisocialCalm flat affectAverage studentsAverage to high self esteemExcited about their own

behaviorSmall network of friendsSuccessful at hiding behavior

VICTIMS OF GIRL BULLYING OFTEN KEEP IT TO THEMSELVESVICTIMS OF GIRL BULLYING OFTEN KEEP IT TO THEMSELVES

What causes bullying?What causes bullying?

Family FactorsFamily FactorsPoor supervisionPoor supervision

Lack of warmthLack of warmth

Modeling of aggression at home Modeling of aggression at home (parent to parent, or parent to child)(parent to parent, or parent to child)

Older siblings who bullyOlder siblings who bully

Witnessing of spousal batteringWitnessing of spousal battering

Individual FactorsIndividual Factors

TemperamentTemperament

Active and ImpulsiveActive and Impulsive

Physical StrengthPhysical Strength

Superiority ComplexSuperiority Complex

School FactorsSchool Factors

Lack of Supervision during Lack of Supervision during unstructured timesunstructured times

Denial of the problemDenial of the problem

Type of interventionType of intervention

ClimateClimate

Community Building EffortsCommunity Building Efforts

Passive VictimsPassive Victims

Have lots of emotion.Have lots of emotion.

Rarely tell because they think it will Rarely tell because they think it will make it worse and don’t think adults make it worse and don’t think adults can help.can help.

Sensitive and cry easily.Sensitive and cry easily.

Pushovers.Pushovers.

Lack social skills.Lack social skills.

Are chosen last.Are chosen last.

Don’t invite attacks.Don’t invite attacks.

Bullying: Emerging FrontiersBullying: Emerging Frontiers

Bullying video gameBullying video game

Cyber bullyingCyber bullying

A focus on awareness A focus on awareness and preventionand prevention

Cyber BullyingCyber BullyingKowalski & Limber, 2005Kowalski & Limber, 2005

25% of girls and 11% of boys had been cyber bullied 25% of girls and 11% of boys had been cyber bullied at least once.at least once.13% of girls and 9% of boys had cyber bullied 13% of girls and 9% of boys had cyber bullied someone else at least once.someone else at least once.Who did the cyber bullying?Who did the cyber bullying?– student at school (53%)student at school (53%)– didn’t know (48%)didn’t know (48%)– friend (37%)friend (37%)– sibling (13%)sibling (13%)

Annual Meeting of the Am Annual Meeting of the Am Psych Assn Psych Assn 2005, August2005, August

CYBER BULLYING CAN BE JUST AS CRUEL AND THE OFFENDERS CYBER BULLYING CAN BE JUST AS CRUEL AND THE OFFENDERS CAN BE ANONYMOUSCAN BE ANONYMOUS

Bullying MythsBullying Myths

Only occurs in large cities and Only occurs in large cities and is gang related.is gang related.Caused by large class sizes.Caused by large class sizes.Occurs mostly outside of Occurs mostly outside of school.school.More pervasive in upper More pervasive in upper grades.grades.Most bullies are insecure with Most bullies are insecure with poor self esteem.poor self esteem.Bullying is a result of poor Bullying is a result of poor grades.grades.Bullies are only aggressive Bullies are only aggressive toward peers.toward peers.Only boys are victims.Only boys are victims.

More Myths about BullyingMore Myths about Bullying

Girls are usually bullied by girls.Girls are usually bullied by girls.Bullies can change by kindness Bullies can change by kindness or punishment.or punishment.Peer mediation is effective with Peer mediation is effective with bullying.bullying.Bullying behavior disappears Bullying behavior disappears with age.with age.Bullies are unpopular.Bullies are unpopular.Teachers can do nothing to stop Teachers can do nothing to stop bullying.bullying.

Tell an adult whom you can trust !!!Tell an adult whom you can trust !!!

What Are The Effects Of What Are The Effects Of Bullying?Bullying?

Effects For VictimsEffects For Victims

Lots of correlational evidence that bullying Lots of correlational evidence that bullying is associated with depression, anxiety, is associated with depression, anxiety, health problems, poor school health problems, poor school performance, truancy, even suicideperformance, truancy, even suicide

Longitudinal research also suggests long-Longitudinal research also suggests long-term damage to peer relations, including term damage to peer relations, including intimate relationshipsintimate relationships

Effects For BulliesEffects For Bullies

Sadly, some bullies seem to Sadly, some bullies seem to gaingain status and status and popularity in the short-termpopularity in the short-term

Others, especially “bully-victims”, are the most Others, especially “bully-victims”, are the most unpopular children of allunpopular children of all

In the long term , bullies may get locked into In the long term , bullies may get locked into anti-social behaviour patterns and are much anti-social behaviour patterns and are much more likely to more likely to – Continue to bully into adulthoodContinue to bully into adulthood– Commit crimes, especially violent crimesCommit crimes, especially violent crimes– Abuse alcohol & drugsAbuse alcohol & drugs

Sugar & Spice?Sugar & Spice?

Little girls are taught that it’s Little girls are taught that it’s much prettier to be nicemuch prettier to be nice

Result = covert forms of Result = covert forms of aggression – aggression – Relational Relational Aggression (RA)Aggression (RA)

Relational Aggression is…Relational Aggression is…

Emotional violence and bullying behavior Emotional violence and bullying behavior focused on damaging an individual’s focused on damaging an individual’s social connections within the peer social connections within the peer group.group.

RA is “conditional RA is “conditional

friendship”friendship”

Mixed MessagesMixed MessagesOur culture tells girlsOur culture tells girls

You should be sexy but not sluttyYou should be sexy but not slutty

You should be independent but you’re You should be independent but you’re no one w/o a boyfriendno one w/o a boyfriend

Wiseman, Wiseman, Queen Bees & WannabesQueen Bees & Wannabes

Types of RATypes of RA

Covert Aggression – indirect or hidden Covert Aggression – indirect or hidden acts of aggression, excluding, social acts of aggression, excluding, social isolationisolation

Proactive – the means for achieving a Proactive – the means for achieving a goal. For example, a girl may exclude goal. For example, a girl may exclude someone to maintain her own social statussomeone to maintain her own social status

More Examples of Relational Aggression:More Examples of Relational Aggression:

Spreading RumorsSpreading Rumors

Verbal InsultsVerbal Insults

Teasing Teasing

IntimidationIntimidation

Eye RollingEye Rolling

TauntingTaunting

Manipulative AffectionManipulative Affection

Three-Way CallingThree-Way Calling

Cyber bullying – Girls Cyber bullying – Girls are twice as likely to are twice as likely to participate in cyber-participate in cyber-bullying than are boysbullying than are boys

The Realm of Teen Royalty The Realm of Teen Royalty from from Queen Bees & WannabesQueen Bees & Wannabes

The Queen – charming to adults.The Queen – charming to adults.

Can out-argue everyone, including Can out-argue everyone, including adults. Her friends do exactly what she adults. Her friends do exactly what she wants.wants.Manipulatively affectionateManipulatively affectionate

No responsibility for hurting othersNo responsibility for hurting others

Seeks revengeSeeks revenge

May be arrogant, materialistic, selfish, superficial May be arrogant, materialistic, selfish, superficial

Value & self-esteem tied to what she hasValue & self-esteem tied to what she has

Right and wrong = loyalty & disloyaltyRight and wrong = loyalty & disloyalty

SidekickSidekick

**22ndnd to the Queen to the Queen

*May be a victim/target*May be a victim/target

*Gets her power by supporting the *Gets her power by supporting the QueenQueen

*Sees the Queen as her authority *Sees the Queen as her authority figure telling her how to think, feel, figure telling her how to think, feel, act, dress…act, dress…

The Gossip The Gossip SecretiveSecretive

Good communicatorGood communicator

Perception of being a good listener and Perception of being a good listener and trustworthytrustworthy

Appears to be friends with everyoneAppears to be friends with everyone

Needs to feel importantNeeds to feel important

An actressAn actress

Uses confidential information to improve Uses confidential information to improve her positionher position

““Don’t tell I told you this but…”Don’t tell I told you this but…”

The FloaterThe Floater

Moves freely between cliquesMoves freely between cliquesPretty – but not Pretty – but not tootoo pretty prettyNice but not too sophisticatedNice but not too sophisticatedAvoids conflictAvoids conflictHigher self-esteemHigher self-esteemIs respectedIs respectedDoesn’t try to rule but has influenceDoesn’t try to rule but has influenceDoesn’t want to exclude othersDoesn’t want to exclude othersNot socially competitiveNot socially competitive

The BullyThe Bully

Defiant, outspoken, toughDefiant, outspoken, tough

Cruel to weaker peopleCruel to weaker people

Usually covert bullying – cursing at or Usually covert bullying – cursing at or about other girls, about other girls, accidentallyaccidentally bumping into bumping into or hittingor hitting

Uses physical violence more than Uses physical violence more than relational aggressionrelational aggression

The BystanderThe Bystander

Neither aggressor or targetNeither aggressor or target

Has to choose between friendsHas to choose between friends

Peacemaker Peacemaker

Difficulty saying “no”Difficulty saying “no”

May want to go unnoticed but has access May want to go unnoticed but has access to the popular groupto the popular group

WannabeWannabe

GossiperGossiper

PleaserPleaser

All her opinions come from the QueenAll her opinions come from the Queen

Won’t go against groupWon’t go against group

Will do almost Will do almost anythinganything to be a part of to be a part of the groupthe group

Often gossiped about & used by the Often gossiped about & used by the QueenQueen

The Target The Target

Feels helpless & excluded like a loser Feels helpless & excluded like a loser or a nobodyor a nobody

IsolatedIsolated

Appears defensive in order to shut Appears defensive in order to shut people out & mask hurtpeople out & mask hurt

Girls within group may become a target Girls within group may become a target if they question someone of perceived if they question someone of perceived higher social statushigher social status

Feels humiliated from rejectionFeels humiliated from rejection

Feels exposed and vulnerableFeels exposed and vulnerable

May try to change herself in order to fit May try to change herself in order to fit in.in.

Invisible Problem GirlsInvisible Problem Girls

Hidden problem = lack of resources, Hidden problem = lack of resources, supportsupport

Typically, girls’ problems don’t threaten Typically, girls’ problems don’t threaten learning environmentlearning environment

Is a ‘good’ school high excluding or low Is a ‘good’ school high excluding or low excluding?excluding?

Responses to interpersonal Responses to interpersonal violenceviolence

Bullying Bullying → self-exclusion→ self-exclusion

Interpersonal violence can escalateInterpersonal violence can escalate

Girls value social networks – exclusion Girls value social networks – exclusion from group a powerful form of violencefrom group a powerful form of violence

Professionals under estimate academic Professionals under estimate academic and social impact of inter-personal and social impact of inter-personal violenceviolence

Health Consequences of Bullying Health Consequences of Bullying (Fekkes et al., 2003)(Fekkes et al., 2003)

Bullied Bullied Not bulliedNot bulliedHeadacheHeadache 16%16% 6%6%Sleep problemsSleep problems 42%42% 23%23%Abdominal painAbdominal pain 17%17% 9%9%Feeling tenseFeeling tense 20%20% 9%9%AnxietyAnxiety 28%28% 10%10%Feeling unhappyFeeling unhappy 23%23% 5%5%Depression scaleDepression scale

moderate indicationmoderate indication 49%49% 16%16%strong indicationstrong indication 16%16% 2%2%

Pediatrics Pediatrics 2003;144:17-222003;144:17-22

Passive TargetsPassive Targets

Tend to…Tend to…Be quiet, sensitive, cries easilyBe quiet, sensitive, cries easilyBe insecure, anxiousBe insecure, anxiousBe physically weaker than peers (Be physically weaker than peers (boys)boys)

Be afraid of getting hurtBe afraid of getting hurtBe lonely and depressed Be lonely and depressed Yield easily to bullyingYield easily to bullyingLack the ability to use humor to defuse conflictLack the ability to use humor to defuse conflictAssociate more easily w/ adults than peersAssociate more easily w/ adults than peers

Provocative Targets tend…Provocative Targets tend…

To have difficulty reading social To have difficulty reading social signalssignals

To be disliked by adults, including To be disliked by adults, including teacher teacher

Why Don‘t Targets Tell?Why Don‘t Targets Tell?

Shame Shame

Fear of retaliationFear of retaliation

They don’t think anyone They don’t think anyone CANCAN helphelp

They don’t think anyone They don’t think anyone WILLWILL help help

Identify the targetsIdentify the targets

Watch for:Watch for:

WithdrawalWithdrawalApathyApathyUnexplained illnessUnexplained illnessFrequent visits to school nurseFrequent visits to school nurseMissing belongingsMissing belongings

Lasting Effects on the TargetLasting Effects on the Target

Lower self-esteemLower self-esteem

Higher rates of depressionHigher rates of depression

Effects Bullying has on SchoolEffects Bullying has on School

Interferes with learningInterferes with learning

Fear and disrespectFear and disrespect

Perception of apathyPerception of apathy

There are…There are…

Supporters – Supporters – Don’t take an active Don’t take an active part but support bulliespart but support bullies

Passive Supporters – Passive Supporters – Like but don’t Like but don’t openly support the bullyopenly support the bully

Disengaged Onlookers – Disengaged Onlookers – Watch but Watch but don’t take a standdon’t take a stand

Possible defenders: Possible defenders: Dislike the Dislike the bullying & want to help but don’tbullying & want to help but don’t

Effects of Bullying on WitnessesEffects of Bullying on Witnesses

Afraid Afraid

Feel powerlessFeel powerless

Guilt Guilt

Diminished empathy Diminished empathy

Do you think the school you’re at makes much Do you think the school you’re at makes much difference to where you end up in life or what difference to where you end up in life or what kind of person you become?kind of person you become?

““Well it does. I think so. Because different Well it does. I think so. Because different schools attract different sorts of people, schools attract different sorts of people, and they also I think help mould you into and they also I think help mould you into sort of beliefs and that sort of thing.”sort of beliefs and that sort of thing.”

(male, year 12 student, 1999)(male, year 12 student, 1999)

Research and evidenceResearch and evidence

““... people always ask you what you ... people always ask you what you want to be when you grow up, and I want to be when you grow up, and I just have no idea...”just have no idea...”

““...sometimes you say it because you ...sometimes you say it because you don’t really want to go into it…”don’t really want to go into it…”

[extracts from 12 to 18 Project interviews, 1994 and 1995][extracts from 12 to 18 Project interviews, 1994 and 1995]

Most victims do not report bullyingMost victims do not report bullying

Feelings of shameFeelings of shame

Fear of retaliationFear of retaliation

Fear that adults can not or will not protect Fear that adults can not or will not protect the child in the setting where the bullying the child in the setting where the bullying is taking placeis taking place

Who are the victims?Who are the victims?

Tend to be quiet and shyTend to be quiet and shyTend to be passive Tend to be passive Lack confidence in physical abilities Lack confidence in physical abilities and strengthand strengthPoor or deviant social skillsPoor or deviant social skillsA subgroup who are “provocative” (i.e., A subgroup who are “provocative” (i.e., they can be both bully and victim)they can be both bully and victim)Difference in appearance or abilityDifference in appearance or ability

What are the long term What are the long term consequences for the victim?consequences for the victim?Tend to be unhappy childTend to be unhappy child

Often try to avoid schoolOften try to avoid school

Suffer from fear and anxietySuffer from fear and anxiety

Low self esteemLow self esteem

High incidence of suicidal or self-High incidence of suicidal or self-destructive behaviordestructive behavior

Ways to Stop Bullying?Ways to Stop Bullying?Don’t frame reporting as tattlingDon’t frame reporting as tattling

Provide good supervisionProvide good supervision

Provide effective consequences for bulliesProvide effective consequences for bullies

Provide social and interpersonal skill trainingProvide social and interpersonal skill training

Provide ongoing community buildingProvide ongoing community building

Creating a supportive and inclusive Creating a supportive and inclusive environmentenvironment

When do you intervene?When do you intervene?

Is the relational aggression…Is the relational aggression…SevereSevereTraumaticTraumaticOngoingOngoingInvolving a power imbalanceInvolving a power imbalance

If the answer to any of these is “yes” If the answer to any of these is “yes” then definitely intervenethen definitely intervene

Prevention is More Effective than Prevention is More Effective than InterventionIntervention

Clear limits regarding unacceptable behaviorClear limits regarding unacceptable behavior

Encourage caring behaviorEncourage caring behavior

Regular classroom discussionsRegular classroom discussions

Inform parentsInform parents

School-wide expectations School-wide expectations

Older grade girls ambassadors for Older grade girls ambassadors for younger gradesyounger grades

Encourage journaling about feelingsEncourage journaling about feelings

Mapping – Have students draw a map of Mapping – Have students draw a map of the school and identify areas that are the school and identify areas that are safest and not so safesafest and not so safe

Have students trace hand. OnHave students trace hand. On

each finger write the name of a each finger write the name of a

person they can go to for helpperson they can go to for help

StaffStaffBe a Be a M.O.D.E.L.M.O.D.E.L.

MModel appropriate behaviorodel appropriate behavior

OObserve girlsbserve girls

DDon’t ignore behaviors (call them on on’t ignore behaviors (call them on everything – eye rolling…)everything – eye rolling…)

EEmphasize difference between reporting & mphasize difference between reporting & tattlingtattling

LListen empatheticallyisten empathetically

HA HA SOHA HA SO

Give Targets a protective shieldGive Targets a protective shield

HH – – Help Help ((Know when & how to get help) Know when & how to get help)

A – A – Assert YourselfAssert Yourself ((I-messages)I-messages)

H – H – Humor Humor (turn a difficult situation (turn a difficult situation into a funny one) into a funny one)

A – A – Avoid Avoid (Know when to walk (Know when to walk away)away)

S – S – Self Talk Self Talk (positive messages)(positive messages)

O – Own It O – Own It (agree with the putdown (agree with the putdown in order to make light of it; the ability to in order to make light of it; the ability to laugh at oneself)laugh at oneself)

Practice, Practice, Practice…Practice, Practice, Practice…

In the mirrorIn the mirror

I-MessagesI-Messages

Compliments Compliments

Positive self-talk Positive self-talk

Tone Twisters Tone Twisters

Bully: “Go to h_ll!”Bully: “Go to h_ll!”

Target: “Go to Disneyland!”Target: “Go to Disneyland!”

Bully: “Shut up, Moron!”Bully: “Shut up, Moron!”

Target: “Have a hot fudge Target: “Have a hot fudge

sundae, sundae, Gorgeous!”Gorgeous!”

Make a commitment to…Make a commitment to…

Treat ALL people with respect, Treat ALL people with respect, especially when the act their worst especially when the act their worst

Not take mean comments seriouslyNot take mean comments seriously

Talk only to the good part of Talk only to the good part of people people

Refuse to listen to or Refuse to listen to or

repeat gossiprepeat gossip

And the Witnesses???And the Witnesses???

There are NO innocent There are NO innocent bystanders bystanders

Tell the bully that Tell the bully that you don’t like what you don’t like what

they are doing!they are doing!““I don’t like it when you I don’t like it when you call me that name. call me that name. Please stop it!”Please stop it!”

““I like you better when I like you better when you’re not so mean!”you’re not so mean!”

““Quit it, before I tell Quit it, before I tell someone!”someone!”

If this doesn’t work then…

Find protection in numbersFind protection in numbers

You either:You either:

Go and join a group of Go and join a group of friends!friends!

OrOr

Ask a group of friends if Ask a group of friends if they would help stop the they would help stop the bullying!bullying!

OrOr

Join in a group game!Join in a group game!

If this doesn’t work If this doesn’t work then…then…

If Nothing WorksIf Nothing WorksAsk forAsk for

What to do if you see someone What to do if you see someone being bullied: being bullied:

Get friends together and TALK to the Get friends together and TALK to the bully by letting them know that bullying bully by letting them know that bullying is not accepted at your school.is not accepted at your school.Don’t cheer the bully or stand around Don’t cheer the bully or stand around and watch. Bullies usually like and watch. Bullies usually like attention for power. attention for power. Let kids know that bullying is not cool Let kids know that bullying is not cool at your school. at your school. Find someone to help stop it.Find someone to help stop it.

Teach Witnesses Teach Witnesses ResponsibilityResponsibility

Empathy Empathy

Offer target supportOffer target support

Offer target a Offer target a respectablrespectable way oute way out

Leave the area – no audienceLeave the area – no audience

Report the incidentReport the incident

If safe, tell bully to If safe, tell bully to STOP! KNOCK STOP! KNOCK IT OFF! It’s mean and I don’t like itIT OFF! It’s mean and I don’t like it! !

Key Findings: Bullying in SchoolKey Findings: Bullying in School

Preventing or dealing with bullying:Preventing or dealing with bullying:

Parents see their role as involving pursuit of Parents see their role as involving pursuit of solutions with other parties, such as teachers, solutions with other parties, such as teachers, school administrators and parents of the bully.school administrators and parents of the bully.

Teachers mainly see their role in terms of their own Teachers mainly see their role in terms of their own actions rather than pursuing solutions with others actions rather than pursuing solutions with others

What to do if your child is a What to do if your child is a victimvictim

Teach your child verbal defense skills.Teach your child verbal defense skills.Build their confidence by encouraging them to try Build their confidence by encouraging them to try different activities. different activities. Know who their friends are.Know who their friends are.Come up with a plan for bullies before the events even Come up with a plan for bullies before the events even happen. Don’t leave room for impulse decisions.happen. Don’t leave room for impulse decisions.Role play situations to practice the plan.Role play situations to practice the plan.Communicate with the school.Communicate with the school.Teach confidence.Teach confidence.Reassure the child that people are listening to their Reassure the child that people are listening to their fears and empower them to deal with bullies fears and empower them to deal with bullies appropriately. appropriately. Think about the child “all grown up” and how you want Think about the child “all grown up” and how you want him/her to deal with difficult people.him/her to deal with difficult people.

Teachers: Preventing BullyingParents: What do you think a teacher's role should be in preventing or dealing with bullying?

Top five responses:

1. Communication with children

2. Teach child methods of dealing with bully

3. Get involved in situation

4. Discipline bully

5. Teach children tolerance

Top five items mentioned by teachers involve their own actions rather than pursuing solutions with other adults.

School PlanSchool Plan

The most successful programs The most successful programs educate students.educate students.

The most successful programs The most successful programs educate parents. educate parents.

ConsequencesConsequences

Balance powerBalance power

Conflict ResolutionConflict Resolution

Change the school cultureChange the school culture

Teach skillsTeach skills

Build relationshipsBuild relationships

1.1. Teacher education at staff Teacher education at staff meetingsmeetings

2.2. Yard duty trainingYard duty training3.3. Stop Bullying Now Stop Bullying Now

activitiesactivities4.4. Police liaison (Darren Police liaison (Darren

Taylor) for positive Taylor) for positive reinforcementreinforcement

5. Student education at 5. Student education at assemblies and Fridays.assemblies and Fridays.

6. Parent education nights6. Parent education nights7. Conflict resolution 7. Conflict resolution

programprogram8. Bully survey8. Bully survey9. Anti-bully contracts 9. Anti-bully contracts

school wideschool wide10.Buddy program10.Buddy program

us

State Laws on BullyingState Laws on Bullying

Education and training of adults who Education and training of adults who interface with the younger students interface with the younger students at school and at home are another at school and at home are another important component.important component.

STOP BULLYING NOW!!STOP BULLYING NOW!!

Web Sites & ResourcesWeb Sites & Resourceswww.hateboard.comwww.hateboard.com

www.myspace.comwww.myspace.com

www.xanga.comwww.xanga.com

www.schoolscandal.comwww.schoolscandal.com

www.teenangels.comwww.teenangels.com

www.livejournal.comwww.livejournal.com

www.transl8it.comwww.transl8it.com (helps translate text messages) (helps translate text messages)

www.webopedia.comwww.webopedia.com (help navigating online terms & (help navigating online terms & acronymsacronyms

www.urbandictionary.comwww.urbandictionary.com

www.myfreeproxy.comwww.myfreeproxy.com ( (allows students to bypass web blocks)allows students to bypass web blocks)

www.ratemyschool.comwww.ratemyschool.com