Supporting your Child& Adolescent’s Wellbeing · MENTAL HEALTH CONTINUUM ... These can be tricky...

Supporting your Child& Adolescent’s Wellbeing DR LUCY TAYLOR

CONSULTANT CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST

DR LUCY TAYLOR, CONSULTANT CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST ([email protected])

Overview What is emotional health in children?

What to look out for, when should I be worried?

Difficult times (exams and transition) Emotions – how to help

How to support your anxious child

Managing your own stress. Further Information


What is emotional health?


Mental health is not only the absence of mental illness, but includes having the skills needed to deal with life’s challenges. Children do not learn at their optimum when experiencing mental illness or when overwhelmed by life’s stressors. What is emotional health and wellbeing?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wkp_AfluP4

Total

Well-being

Respect

Confidence Assertiveness

Relationships Caring for

self & others

Positive self image

MENTAL

HEALTH

Making Decisions

WHAT IS emotional wellbeing?


MENTAL HEALTH CONTINUUM


Good

Mental

Health

Mental

Illness

Mental

Distress

Mental

Disorder

Stress/Risk Factors

Protective/Resilience Factors

What to look out for? (minded.org.uk)

A person’s behaviour, particularly behaviours that are unusual to them, can often provide

signs that they’re having difficulties with their mental health and that added support is

required. Examples of changes in behaviour in your child might include:

Falling behind at school Refusal to go to school More: aggressive, disruptive, challenging Uncommunicative


https://www.minded.org.uk/

Difficult times: Transitions & Exams

These can be tricky times and you are likely to see more emotions during such times, e.g.:

Changing to secondary school

Starting Year 10

Starting 6th Form

Moving friendship groups

Exams (GCSEs)

Moving home


Parent/carer support around transitions • Normalise feeling apprehensive or anxious

• Balance validating how they feel with letting them know you believe in them

• Provide extra time, attention and support

• Invite the child to express their emotions. Use open ended questions (‘how’s it going? You seem sad’)

• Child/adolescent may regress to an earlier developmental stage.

• Plan for family fun

• Be ready to problem solve with them (‘if that happens, what will you do?’). Role play is a great way

• Keep rules and structure, but allow child/adolescent to have some input


Validation What is validation (see resources) ◦Validation communicates to another person that his or her feelings,

thoughts, and actions make sense and are understandable to you in a particular situation.

Remember: Validation ≠ Agreement ◦Validation does not necessarily mean that you like or agree with

what the other person is doing, saying, or feeling. It means that you understand where the other person is coming from.

◦Validating feelings reduces conflict


Emotions What do you see?

The function of Emotions They’re hard wired into us and designed to help us make sense of a situation and act They serve an important function Survival/drive our desires

Support social interactions and communicate to others.

Problem can be us fighting the emotion, their intensity and a lack of positive emotions


What is the purpose of emotions?


Adolescent emotions: a snap-shot

why are teens so moody?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=du8siPJ1ZKo






Emotion Regulation AIMS:

o Not to get rid of emotions (its normal to cry when hurt, get angry when frustrated etc) o UNDERSTAND THE EMOTION YOU EXPERIENCE Help them identify and label the emotion ( observe/describe/name) Know what your emotions do for you – what is the message and are they working for or against you at the moment?

oSkills to tolerate strong emotions (e.g. exercise, self-soothe, distraction)

oCoping statements


Describe the problem situation

Check the facts!

Identify your goal

Brainstorm lots of solutions

Choose a solution that is likely to work

Put the solution into ACTION

Evaluate outcomes


Anxiety


A state of being uneasy, apprehensive or worried about what may happen; concern about a possible future event. An expectation of threat and belief about the inability to cope.

What is anxiety? Anxiety is a whole system response to an event (internal: a thought, memory, sensation), or external (a comment, an exam, an argument)

Physical sensations (Increased heart rate, muscular tension, sweating, trembling, feelings of breathlessness

Accompanied by anxious thoughts ‘I can’t cope’. ‘This will never end’

Anxious behaviours: avoidance, reassurance seeking

Managing Anxiety Most importantly we do not want to get rid of anxiety, just reduce the

volume. It is helpful, e.g preparing for a test, it drives behaviour and it is protective when there is a real threat.

In order to understand and use our anxiety effectively we need to:

-Change our relationship with our anxiety

-Understand, label and communicate about our anxiety

-Learn how to challenge unhelpful thoughts

-Improve our problem solving

-Learn strategies to relax and self soothe

-Learn to stop avoiding (it is the problem not the solution)

Anxiety What is it?

Why is it useful? …….Yerkes Dodson curve

When does it become problematic?


Fears – what's normal FEAR NORMAL AGE WHEN TO WORRY

Separation anxiety 6mths to 2 years After 3 or 4, if not mild

Stranger fear 6 – 10 months After 2 or 3 years if severe

Fear of new unfamiliar kids the same age

2 – 3 years After 3

Fears of darkness, monsters and animals

2 – 6 years Should be improving by age 6

Fear of school 3 – 6 years but easily settles. Transition periods.

After age 6. Check for bullying

Fear of being judged or evaluated negatively by others

Very common in teenagers

Generally reduces through adolescence.


Managing anxiety • Education about anxiety and fight or flight. We overestimate danger and threat when in an anxious state.

•Breathing and relaxation skills

•Self-soothe •Thought challenging (evidence for and against)

•Exposure to fears and re-approach (child/adolescent in charge) AVOID AVOIDANCE!


Exposure and response prevention

Develop a hierarchy of feared situations

Give an anxiety rating to each step Conquer these steps one at a time

Try to start with some quick wins

Don’t forget to drop safety behaviours

Paced Breathing

Paced Breathing Pace your breathing by slowing it down.

Breathe deeply into your belly. Slow your pace of inhaling and exhaling way down. Breathe out more slowly than you breathe in (e.g., 5 seconds in, 7 seconds out). Paced Breathing reduces emotional arousal by activating the Parasympathetic Nervous System.

Calm Parenting: Top Tips Regulate your own emotions first (see managing stress)

Build in extra time for yourself (e.g. get up earlier than your kids to be emotionally centred)

Prepare the night before Keep the routine as simple as possible

Try to connect with your youngster (e.g. special time with them)

Coach don’t control (offer choices)


How to listen 1 Not teaching, advising or offering solutions

Silently

Pay attention (stop, breathe, look at child)

Be fully present (your child knows if you're not if not)

Validation

Non-judgmental

Timing (on their terms). If not now, say so; ‘I want to focus on our discussion, I can’t while I’m…..’ plan for later and don’t forget.


How to listen 2 Actively acknowledge and reflect their feelings (without judgment or suggestion) e.g. you seem worried/angry about…. Ask non-judgemental questions. Avoid beginning with why (makes kids defensive)

Don’t jump in with solutions and advice (manage your own anxiety about the issue, child needs to vent and can’t think until he does) Keep the conversation safe for everyone (people can’t listen when they’re upset)

Manage your own emotions (don’t take it personally, breathe. If you start feeling responsible, or terrified try and put your feelings aside and process them later) 5 –to-1 ratio


Managing Adolescent Behaviour Logical and natural consequences

◦Natural consequences, if you stay up all night, you will be too tired

to focus in school, may fail a test, and may get in trouble for failing; getting very drunk in public, feeling embarrassed the next day ◦Logical consequences specific and time-limited, and the

punishment should fit the "crime" (e.g., if out past curfew, lose the chance to go out the next day). Don’t set punishment when really angry.


Parent Stress and Anxiety

What makes you anxious/stressed? Plan for this


What is stress? Fight or flight – fight or flight


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtRrxNTnyh8

Managing Stress Balance of pleasure and work Exercise Relaxation, having ‘me’ time Mindfulness Challenge negative thoughts Beware of unhelpful strategies (e.g. drinking too much, shouting, under or over eating etc) Looking after your health and body and getting enough sleep Communicating and connecting with others Eating well

The happiness trap


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93LFNtcR1Ok




How to manage your anger Take 5 (give yourself time out)

10 deep breaths (shake the tension out your hands)

Practise your own mindfulness (see resources)

Change your thoughts (challenge unhelpful or critical thoughts with evidence for and against, what is the meaning you are attributing to this situation?)

Notice and listen to your anger, but don’t act on it (see ideas for mindfulness practice)

Wait before disciplining

Avoid threats and monitor your tone and word choice

Choose your battles (every negative interaction with your child uses up valuable relationship capital, focus on what matters, what is worth putting your relationship bank in the red)


Resources ◦ Anxiety

Anxiety UK www.anxietyuk.org.uk

MindEd www.minded.org.uk

Young Minds www.youngminds.org.uk ◦ Parenting ◦ Calm Parents, Happy Kids: the secrets of stress-free parenting by Laura Markham

Validation ◦ I don’t have to make everything all better, Penguin, USA. Lundberg, G. and Lundberg, J. (2000).

Contact details: [email protected]


http://www.anxietyuk.org.uk

http://www.anxietyuk.org.uk

http://www.minded.org.uk

http://www.minded.org.uk

ANXIETY

•The Anxiety Workbook for Teens. Activities to help you deal with anxiety and worry. Lisa Schab (2008). • The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook for teens: CBT and ACT skills to help you build social confidence.

Jennifer Shannon (2012). For parents/carers: • Overcoming your Child’s Fears and Worries: A Self-Help guide using Cognitive-Behavioural Techniques.

Cathy Cresswell and Lucy Willetts (2007).

MINDFULNESS

Apps • HeadSpace • Smiling Mind • Insight Timer

Contact Details: [email protected]


Supporting your Child& Adolescent’s Wellbeing · MENTAL HEALTH CONTINUUM ... These can be tricky...

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