Supporting Kids and Supporting Ourselves

Amy Ruona-Banister MSW

PPS Student Services Departmentaruona@pps.net

How?

1. Take care of ourselves Sleep Stress Stall Sated

2. Be honest with ourselves and each other

3. Identify our own patterns of behavior and make changes to the negative patterns

4. Identify our program’s “patterns of behavior” and make changes

KIDS BRAINS

Neurons/Brain Cells

83 % Not Yet Connected-Waiting for Experiences

Brain Development

Synaptic Pruning

14 Year Old Brain

6 Year Old

Brain

Newborn

Brain

New connections increase the potential for learning..

Brain Development

Developmental Needs

The Need for Physical Activity.

The Need for Competence and Achievement.

The Need for Self-Definition.

The Need for Creative Expression.

The Need for Positive Social Interaction.

The Need for Structure and Clear Limits.

The Need for Meaningful Participation.

Bottom line…You are integral in building the Executive Functions of the Brain*

Goal setting/problem solvingPlanning a project

Inhibitory controlSimon Says/Red Light Green LightConnect 4

Working memorySongs or poems

Cognitive flexibilityPracticing perspective takingApples to Apples

Coordinating feeling and thinkingFeedback form/Making an appointment

Reasoning/Judgment/Decision makingMonopoly

HOW CAN OUR PROGRAM BE A PLACE OF JOY AND GROWTH?

Promoting Positive Behaviors

Clear Expectations Teach the skills you expect

Communication, problem solving, self soothing

Model the behavior you want to see What are you doing (purpose) and why (outcomes)

Understanding the negative behaviors Seeking undue attention/Lack of choices/seeking power

Reinforce positive behaviors Thank you for…I noticed that…

EMPATHY VERSUS SYMPATHY VIDEO CLIP

The Vibe

Positive endorphins/dopamine

Attentive and Interactive/Thinking Brain

Negative increase cortisol

Survival Mode/Emotional Brain

How do we keep it positive?*Engage don’t EnrageConnect and RedirectName it To Tame it

*From the work of Dan Siegel

Engage don’t Enrage*Adapted

from Dan Seigal

“Downstairs” brain is activated and it is hard to think clearly Point and gently guide to pre-identified space Give some space (considering safety) Engage calmly and possibly without words Emphasize empathy

Connect and Redirect*Dan

Segal

Connect with the right Touch Tone of voice Facial expressions Empathy

THEN…

Redirect with the left Solutions Words Planning Logical Explanations Boundaries

Communication

NAME IT- TO TAME IT*DAN SIEGAL

When everyone is calm…

Brainstorm list of feeling wordsListen carefullyReflect Back

Remember…to use our own pfc and…

Do we model listening? “Say more” Do you need some time to think about it?

Relationship builds receptivity When someone feels heard- they stop focusing

their efforts on the counter-argument

Stop exercising the “argue muscle” and the lecture. Let them have the last word

Try “motivational interviewing” Empathize, Find Discrepancy, Roll with

Resistance, Efficacy to make the change

Communication

Power Struggles…Proactive instead of Reactive

Can’t make you do it- but really need your help. Then do it together

Effective feedback 10 words or less- 1 is best!

Legos…backpack…pens…floor

Use your visuals Point to the MAC board

Decide what you WILL do with kindness always present

We will hand out snack when you are seated

BREAK

NOT EVERY CHILD WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN THEY ARE OVERWHELMED…

”GHOST MENTORING” CAN HELP WITH THE CONNECTION TO THOSE KIDS

Most Challenging Times?

Waiting in Line Cleaning up Playground Snack Time Transitions “Homework Time”

TEACH AND MODEL THE SKILLS WE WANT TO SEE THROUGH PRACTICING AND VISUAL AIDS

Extra Engagement

Jobs Music Reading Aloud I spy 10 words that being with ___ Tongue Twisters Simon Says 2 things at once… Finger- knitting

STRUCTURE AND FREE TIME- NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE

What programs already exist in the school and how can I tap into them? Mind Up Second Step Kelso’s Wheel Collaborative Problem Solving Good Behavior Game

Ask your school counselor or administrator what pro-social skills they teach at your school.

Other Resources…

If he’s having a hard time in your program following directions chances are…

Check in with site supervisor- find out best way to connect with his teacher

IEPs

Changing Behavior Using Skills

Behavior of concern/What are they doing that is making us crazy?

How can we change the behavior/stop the fighting? We need to teach the skills needed to change the behavior

What is the replacement behavior/what do we want them to do instead in this situation?

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Problem Solvingproactive versus reactive

What is the problem? What is our goal? What are some solutions? Evaluate them?

Safe? Fair? How would people feel? Would it work?

Choose a solution and use it Check back in

Develop Our Own New Habits…

When you have a moment without demands, think about your interactions

Cues will remain the same, responses need to change, how will I reward myself so I keep doing it?

After 1 negative interaction, remind myself that I owe 3 positive interactions

Put a rubber band on my wrist as a reminder

Connecting PBIS and Building Brains

Clear expectations expressed through modeling, teaching, practicing, and visuals

Program-wide acknowledgement system for students to get positive feedback for the behaviors we want to see

Ratio of Interactions where positive outweighs negative and relationships are built

Using our resources

Find Your Team

1. Something you want to try

2. What needs to happen?

3. Who is responsible for follow-through?

4. How will we check back in?

5. What special skills does your team have?