Study Unit Writing Sentences and...

Study Unit

Writing Sentencesand Paragraphs

In this study unit, you’ll take all the information and skillsyou’ve acquired so far and use them to practice writing complete, correct sentences and well-organized, coherentparagraphs. You have the tools—the parts of speech; correctspelling, punctuation, and capitalization; and good grammar—to construct and use a variety of sentence types. You’ve studiedthe uses of modifiers, tone, and form, so you can reach thepeople you’re addressing. You’ve also learned to write to youraudience, whether you’re sending out a basic business letter,convincing a group to accept your recommendations, orpresenting a research report.

Now we’ll begin to put it all together. By learning how to expressyourself in correct sentences and to recognize commonerrors, your basic communications skills will significantlyimprove. By learning to focus on your topic, organize yourideas, use transitions, and write an effective conclusion,you’ll write consistently stronger paragraphs, letters, essays,and reports. This, in turn, will increase your professionalismand open doors to future success.

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Previe

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When you complete this study unit, you’ll be

able to

• Compose sentences correctly

• Use various sentence structures and types

• Recognize and correct fragments and run-on sentences

• Construct unified, coherent paragraphs

• Connect paragraphs to build a well-organized,

logical document

SENTENCES 1Writing Complete Sentences 1

Sentence Structures 3

Sentence Length 14

Sentence Variety 22

Sentence Types 25

Correcting Fragments and Run-On Sentences 27

PARAGRAPHS 36Writing Effective Paragraphs 36

Elements of a Paragraph 40

Paragraph Structure 50

Paragraph Length 52

Connecting Paragraphs 58

Writing Persuasively 66

PRACTICE EXERCISE ANSWERS 75

SELF-CHECK ANSWERS 83

EXAMINATION 87

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Contents

Contents

1

SENTENCES

Writing Complete SentencesA sentence is a group of words with a subject and a predicatethat expresses a complete thought. It’s set off with a capitalletter at the beginning and a period, question mark, orexclamation point at the end. Sentences can be long:

The people on the camping expedition looked forward torediscovering the modern conveniences of running waterand electricity when they arrived home.

Or sentences can be short:

They camped.

But as long as a word group has the essential ingredients—a subject, a predicate, and a complete thought—it qualifies as a sentence.

Subjects and Predicates

All sentences consist of two main parts—the complete subjectand the complete predicate. You can usually find the subject byasking, “What or whom is the sentence about?” The completepredicate of a sentence contains the verb or verb phrase—the part that says what’s going on with the subject. Youcan usually find the predicate by asking, “What’s beingsaid about the subject?” or “What did the subject do?” or“What happened?”

Writing Sentences

and Paragraphs

Writing Sentences and Paragraphs2

My brother Dan baked a cake last night.

Whom or what is the sentence about? My brother Dan is thecomplete subject. What did the subject do? Baked a cake lastnight is the complete predicate.

Sometimes it’s easier to locate the complete predicate first,then look for the complete subject.

During the rock concert, an amplifier exploded on stage.

What happened? Exploded on stage during the rock concert isthe complete predicate. Who or what exploded? An amplifieris the complete subject.

Once you’ve learned to identify the complete subject and thecomplete predicate, you can easily find the simple subject andthe simple predicate. Look for the simple predicate first. It’sthe verb or verb phrase in the complete predicate. Only wordsthat function as nouns or pronouns can act as the subjectof a sentence. Then ask who or what in front of the simplepredicate. The answer is the simple subject.

Simple Subject Simple Predicate

amplifier exploded

Here’s a checklist for identifying simple subjects and simple predicates:

• Don’t include other words such as articles or adjectiveswith the simple subject.

• Never include any parts of speech, except for verbs, withthe simple predicate. Keep it simple!

• The subject of a verb is never in a prepositional phrase.

• A subject may be found at the beginning, middle, or endof a sentence.

Never mistake the words here or there for the subject.

Here is your coat. (Coat is the subject.)

There are ten letters to answer. (Letters is the subject.)

Sometimes the subject is missing from the sentence becauseit’s understood. This occurs most often with commands.

Shut the door.

Writing Sentences and Paragraphs 3

Shut is the simple predicate. Who or what shut the door? The answer is you, even though you isn’t in the sentence. It’s understood.

A sentence may have more than one subject and verb.

Two subjects: John and Carl played golf.

Two verbs: Carl played golf and took a sauna.

Two subjects and two verbs: John and Carl played golfand took a sauna.

When a sentence contains more than one clause, each clausecontains its own subject and verb.

While Carl played golf, John took a sauna.

Always make sure your sentences are complete. If you’reunsure about a sentence, rewrite it. Sometimes uncertaintycan arise if a sentence is too long. If that’s the case, rewrite thesentence into two or more shorter, more effective sentences.

Remember that a group of words needs more than just a subject and a verb to form a sentence: a group of words mustalso express a complete thought. Common fragments occurwhen phrases and dependent clauses (clauses that can’tstand alone and depend for their meaning on the remainderof the sentences in which they appear) aren’t attached totheir main ideas or independent clauses (clauses that makecomplete grammatical statements and can stand alone).

Sentence StructuresYou know what a sentence is. You know the basic patternswords take to form sentences. Now you’re ready to learn moreabout how phrases and clauses combine to form sentences.

Simple SentencesMany of the sentences we’ve used as examples have beensimple sentences—sentences composed of one independentclause. A simple sentence has only one complete subject and one complete predicate.

The moon is beautiful.

The moon is the complete subject. Is beautiful is the complete predicate.


A sentence may have a compound subject or a compoundpredicate (or both) and still be simple.

The earth and the moon are beautiful.

The sentence now contains a compound subject—The earthand the moon—but it’s still only one complete subject. Now,let’s add another verb to the predicate (Figure 1). The twoverbs are italicized.

The earth and the moon are beautiful and shine on each other.

We still have a simple sentence, now with a compound sub-ject and a compound predicate. But look what happens whenwe put another subject in front of the second verb.

The earth and the moon are beautiful, and they shine oneach other.

Now we have a different sort of sentence structure. We have acompound sentence. We now have two independent clauses,two separate subject-predicate units joined with a commaand a coordinate conjunction.

Figure 1—Compound

subjects and predicates

can add vivid relation-

ships to your writing, as

you can see in the sen-

tence “The earth and the

moon are beautiful and

shine on each other.”


Compound Sentences

Two simple sentences can be joined into one compoundsentence by a comma and a coordinate conjunction. Theword coordinate means “equal rank.” Coordinate conjunctionsjoin clauses of the same kind—here, two independent clauses.The common coordinate conjunctions are and, but, or, nor, for, yet, and so.

Simple sentences may also sometimes be joined with a semicolon to form a compound sentence. This is especiallytrue if the relationship between the clauses is perfectly clear; a coordinate conjunction isn’t necessary to express oremphasize the relationship.

Note that each of the simple sentences has a subject and apredicate. Each clause is a complete sentence. Nothing isomitted from the two sentences when they’re joined. Also, the period at the end of the first sentence is replaced by acomma, which is then followed by a conjunction.

Bob may open his own shop, or he may go into businesswith his father.

SIMPLE AND COMPOUND SENTENCE STRUCTURES

Simple Sentences

Complete Subject Complete Predicate

The tulips are blooming.

The tulips and the daffodils are blooming.

The tulips and the daffodils are blooming and cheer up our yard.

The tulips and the daffodils are blooming.

They cheer up our yard.

Compound Sentences

Complete Subject Complete Predicate Complete Subject Complete Predicate

The tulips and the daffodils are blooming , and they cheer up our yard.

The tulips and the daffodils are blooming ; they cheer up our yard.


Ann was late getting to the restaurant, for she missed thetrain and had to take the bus.

The lawyer was usually late, yet he expected the client tobe on time.

Her children are talented musicians, but they don’t like to practice.

Compound sentences may have more than two independentclauses. The clauses can be joined either by semicolons or bymeans of commas and a coordinating conjunction.

I swam; Mary dived; Jane surfed; Mom sunbathed; Dadstayed home.

John ate pizza, Lou drank soda, and Sam licked an icecream cone.

Remember, only ideas that are related should be combined tomake a compound sentence. Should the following two simplesentences be combined in one compound sentence?

Alice likes expensive jewelry. She plans to enter college.

No they shouldn’t. Both ideas are about Alice, but otherwisethey have nothing to do with each other. The sentencesshouldn’t be joined.

In summary, a compound sentence contains two or more simple sentences that are logically related. There may be acomma and a conjunction between the simple sentences, or there may be a semicolon with no conjunction.

Complex Sentences

Another kind of sentence consists of an independent clauseplus one or more dependent clauses. A sentence containingboth an independent and a dependent clause is a complexsentence (Figure 2). Remember, a dependent clause is oneused as a noun, adjective, or adverb.

1. She wore a dress that was made of velvet.

2. I applied for the position because I am unhappy in mypresent job.

3. He asked what the customer wanted.


As you can see by these examples, the word complex doesn’tmean that the sentence is complicated. Complex means thatthe sentence structure has become more elaborate. One ofthe clauses depends on another of the clauses to makesense. This dependent clause can appear at the beginning,middle, or end of a sentence.

To form a complex sentence, combine an independent clausewith a dependent clause. An independent clause makes acomplete grammatical statement. It can stand alone andfunction as a sentence. A dependent clause cannot standalone. It depends upon the remainder of the sentence inwhich it appears.

Let’s look at the three examples again, one at a time.

1. She wore a dress that was made of velvet.

The main idea She wore a dress is an independent clausethat could be a sentence by itself. The rest of the sentence,that was made of velvet, is a clause. That is its subject, andwas is its verb. But to what does that refer? It’s a relativepronoun that must refer to an antecedent in the same sentence.So that was made of velvet is a dependent relative clause,acting as an adjective modifying dress. She wore a dress thatwas made of velvet is, therefore, a complex sentence.

Figure 2—“Charles

adopted a dog that was

at the shelter.” This is a

complex sentence,

because it contains both

an independent and a

dependent clause.


2. I applied for the position because I am unhappy in mypresent job.

The second example also has two clauses. The main, inde-pendent clause is I applied for the position. It can stand alone.However, it has a dependent adverbial clause attached—because I am unhappy in my present job. As you know, anyclause beginning with because can’t be a sentence by itself.The reader would ask, because what? In this sentence, thedependent clause modifies the verb applied.

3. He asked what the customer wanted.

See if you can analyze this sentence yourself. What’s theindependent clause? What’s the dependent clause? Whatfunction (part of speech) does the dependent idea perform inthe complete sentence? Answer: The third example has as itsmain idea he asked, an independent clause that could be asentence all by itself. The clause what the customer wantedtells what he asked. The clause is used as a noun and servesas a direct object. This sentence is a complex sentence.

When you’re analyzing sentences, keep in mind that writers andspeakers often omit the relative pronoun that when it introducesan adjectival clause. Careful writers and speakers don’t,however, omit who, whose, whom, or which in this context.

This is the kind of book I like to read.

The car he likes to drive is the small one.

In these sentences, the pronoun that is understood.

This is the kind of book that I like to read.

The car that he likes to drive is the small one.

These are still complex sentences even when the that is missing. When you see a clause that looks independent butacts like a modifier, see if one of the relative pronouns (who,whom, whose, which, that) can be placed before the subject.If inserting that makes sense, then you know the clause is a dependent clause, and it’s part of a complex sentence.

Here are some more examples of complex sentences. For each,the dependent clause is italicized, and the word or words thatit modifies are boldfaced. The rest of the independent clause is in regular type. Notice that for the first two sentences, thedependent clause is in the middle of the independent clause.


The girl who met us is seventeen.

We left when Jim arrived.

The doctor will go wherever she is needed.

She told me she’d be late.

In the last sentence, the dependent noun clause isn’t modifyingany other word in the sentence. Here, it’s used as a nounclause, a direct object of the verb told. Also, notice that therelative pronoun that is omitted.

Compound or Complex?

The bus stops here, but it is always late.

Although the bus stops here, it is always late.

These two sentences say basically the same thing. However,they have different sentence structures. They have subtle differences in meaning. The first sentence joins two mainclauses with the coordinate conjunction but. It’s a compoundsentence. It has two separate clauses that can stand alone.

The second sentence shifts the emphasis to the independentclause it is always late by changing the bus stops here to adependent adverb clause. Because this sentence has oneindependent clause and one dependent clause, it’s a complex sentence.

How, then, can you tell the difference between a compoundsentence and a complex one? Remember that the clauses in a compound sentence are always independent ones and arejoined by one of the coordinate conjunctions or a semicolon.The only coordinate (equal rank) conjunctions are and, but,or, nor, for, yet, and so. A test for a compound sentence is to seeif you can separate it into two parts without the coordinateconjunctions, so that each can stand alone.

If only one of the clauses is an independent one, the sentence is complex. You might want to review the signal words fordependent clauses (clauses used as nouns, adjectives, andadverbs); they can clue you that a dependent clause follows.

Try these two sentences:

Hang the curtains now, or they will wrinkle.

The place that he wanted most to visit was Disneyland.


If you said the first sentence was compound and the secondcomplex, you’re right. Did you see the coordinate conjunction orlinking the two independent clauses, and did you see the signalword that clueing you to a dependent adjectival clause?

Note: A verbal in a sentence doesn’t necessarily make thesentence complex. Verbals and their modifiers are phrases,not clauses (Figure 3).

Running too fast, the football player fell to the ground.

He wanted to win the governor’s trophy.

These sentences, both containing verbal phrases, are simplesentences since they each contain only one clause.

A Review of Terms

You’ve studied simple, compound, and complex sentences. A review of the definitions of these and related terms willhelp you to identify each kind of sentence.

Simple sentence. A group of words is a simple sentence if it makes sense by itself and has one subject and predicate.

Randy shoveled the snow.

Randy is the complete subject and shoveled the snow is thecomplete predicate.

Figure 3—”Running too

fast, the football player

fell to the ground.” This

is a simple sentence,

because the verbal

phrase is a modifier,

not a separate clause.


Clause. The addition of a clause to a simple sentence transforms it to either a compound or a complex sentence. Aclause is a group of words that has a subject and a predicate.An independent or main clause is a clause that can standalone and make sense. A dependent, or subordinate, clausedoesn’t make complete sense by itself. It depends on the mainpart of the sentence (the independent clause) to make sense.

Hannah blushed when David kissed her.

The independent (main) clause is Hannah blushed. Thedependent (subordinate) clause is when David kissed her.

Compound sentence. Two or more independent clausesjoined either by a comma and a conjunction, or by a semi-colon, form a compound sentence.

Hannah ran out of the room, but David followed her.

Hannah was upset; she told David not to do that again.

A compound sentence can always be divided into two ormore sentences.

Hannah ran out of the room. David followed her.

Hannah was upset. She told David not to do that again.

Complex sentence. A main clause and one or more dependentclauses make up a complex sentence.

The plane that was late had engine trouble.

While you were sleeping, the plane that had engine troublelanded and took off again.

Compound-complex sentence. A sentence can be bothcompound and complex at the same time. A compound-complex sentence has at least two independent clauses and at least one dependent clause.

Jesse went to the Metropolitan Opera with Liz, who hadbeen there many times; Eli went with Olivia, who hadnever been there before.

This sentence has two independent (main) clauses: Jesse wentto the Metropolitan Opera with Liz and Eli went with Olivia. Italso has two dependent (subordinate) clauses: who had beenthere many times and who had never been there before.


Practice Exercise 1Questions 1–5: Some of the following pairs of sentences can be combined to make

compound sentences, but some should not be. Read them carefully, and decide which

pairs contain related ideas. Rewrite those with related ideas as compound sentences

on a separate sheet of paper.

1. The girls had left early. They arrived home too late for dinner.

__________________________________________________________

2. Their bus had been delayed. Their dog was named Nickey.

__________________________________________________________

3. Plans for the party are still indefinite. They finished some sewing they had started

on Monday.

__________________________________________________________

4. Kathleen had cut out a new pair of slacks. Marianne was working on the jacket.

__________________________________________________________

5. The material for the jacket was an attractive plaid. They stopped for a cold drink before

finishing the job.

__________________________________________________________

(Continued)


Practice Exercise 1Questions 6–15: Each of the following complex sentences has one independent and

one dependent clause. Circle the dependent clause, and tell whether it’s used as an

adjective or as an adverb.

6. Bill is willing to try anything that will improve his condition.

7. The weather vane, which is on the roof of the barn, is pointing toward the west.

8. I went to the conference after I received your report.

9. Unless the directions are followed carefully, the results will not be satisfactory.

10. Will the person whose car is blocking the driveway please move the car now?

11. We will wait for you where the road forks.

12. Read the opinions of the best authorities on the subject before you make up your mind.

13. Martin Van Buren, who was the eighth president of the United States, was a native of

New York State.

14. Please close the book that is on your desk.

15. The paint that you ordered for the kitchen wall is washable.

Questions 16–22: Label each sentence as simple, compound, or complex.

16. Milk that is sour can be used for cooking.

17. Early this morning the ambulance sped down the street.

18. George refused the other position after he received a raise in salary.

19. The train, which was delayed by a blizzard, was an hour late.

20. The cost of this perfume is high, but the price includes the tariff.

21. The Valley of Ten Thousand Smokes was formed by an eruption of

Mount Katmai, Alaska.

22. The United States Naval Academy is located at Annapolis, and the United States

Military Academy is located at West Point.

Check your answers with those on page 75.


Sentence LengthThe great American writer William Faulkner was famous forhis very long sentences. This may have worked well for himand the effect he wanted to create. However, in business writing, shorter sentences are usually better. The trick is toinclude all the necessary information while keeping the sen-tences short. Let’s look at a sentence from a warranty for akerosene heater.

It’s unlikely that Faulkner or any other competent writerwould think this sentence readable, clear, or in any sense,user friendly. Here’s a revised version of that sentence, bro-ken down into shorter, more understandable sentences.

As you can see, the revised version with the shorter sentencesis easier to read. Usually, breaking long sentences into shorter,more readable ones isn’t difficult. Start by finding where thefirst thought ends and placing a period there. Sometimes youmay have to supply a few additional words to make completesentences from the information originally run together intoone long sentence.

This warranty does not extend to any defect due to the negligence

of others, failure to operate or maintain the heater in accordance

with the operating and maintenance instructions furnished with each

new heater, unreasonable use, accidents, alterations, ordinary wear

and tear, the use of unauthorized or nonstandard parts or acces-

sories, or the use of any fuel other than good-quality kerosene.

This warranty does not extend to any defects caused by the

operator’s negligence, nor does it extend to those who have failed

to operate or maintain the heater according to the instructions

provided. Accidents resulting from operating the heater improperly

and problems with the heater caused by unreasonable use are not

covered by this warranty. Alterations made to the heater, ordinary

wear and tear, and the use of unauthorized or nonstandard parts

will also result in the revocation of this warranty. The warranty

does not cover damage or defects caused by the use of any fuel

other than good-quality kerosene.

American authorWilliam Faulkner(1897–1965) was bornin Mississippi. Some ofhis better-known worksare The Sound and theFury, As I Lay Dying,and Absalom, Absalom!


Carefully compare the two warranty examples, paying attentionto how the second one has been restructured. Where doesthe first sentence end? What words have been added to makecomplete sentences? Were any words changed? Although theinformation in both versions is roughly the same, the wayin which the second one is presented makes it much easierto understand.

In general, long, awkward sentences need cropping, pruning,and reordering into shorter sentences. On the other hand, theso-called primer style (Figure 4), which uses short, choppysentences, presents a different kind of problem. The sentencesmay be clear and understandable, but they can be boring.Consider this example:

Open the package carefully. Dispose of the wrapping. Be careful

when removing the contents. The contents are fragile.

Figure 4—The term primer

style refers to the approach

used in children’s first

reading books, or primers.

Although this style may be

helpful in teaching children

to read, it’s generally not

appealing to adults.


Choppy “Dick and Jane” sentences tend to be boring. They’realso condescending, because they imply that the reader isincapable of understanding more complicated sentences thatmore closely resemble ordinary conversational language. Thefollowing revision is more readable and much less boring.

In the revision, four choppy sentences have been replacedwith two longer ones. Notice that the first two sentences inthe first version are related. Both refer to the unwrapping ofthe package. Therefore, in revising this example, these twosentences were combined into one. The same is true of thesecond two sentences. The result is a conversational tonethat isn’t condescending. In addition, the revision shows aclearer relationship between the ideas in the paragraph.

Directness

In sentence writing, directness means getting to the point andavoiding word clutter. Here are some techniques you can useto make your sentences direct:

• Reduce the complexity of your sentences when possible.

• Avoid oversimplifications that reduce clarity.

• Reduce wordiness.

• Begin the sentence with the subject—the person or thingthat’s acting.

Let’s take a brief look at each of these techniques.

Complexity

Study the following examples of complex sentences and theirsimplified revisions.

Complex: After all of the data had been reported by the marketresearchers, they were still uncertain about whether ornot the sample represented the target market.

Open the package carefully and dispose of the wrapping. Because

the contents are fragile, be careful when removing them.One definition of

condescending is

“assuming an air

of superiority.” You

want your writing

to be understood,

but at the same

time, you must treat

your audience with

respect. Never be

condescending.


Simplified: After reporting all of the data, the marketresearchers were still not certain if the sample represented the target market.

Complex: A series of tests that were made under condi-tions that were identical often produced results thatwere unpredictable.

Simplified: A series of tests made under identical conditions often produced unpredictable results.

In both examples, the simplified versions are shorter and moredirect than the complex ones. One key to simplification is to eliminate, or reshape into a simpler form, all of the wordsthat don’t directly convey information. In the precedingexample, the phrase “under conditions that were identical”was shortened to “under identical conditions.” This changeeliminated two words (that and were) and made the meaningmore direct (Figure 5).

Figure 5—Don’t frustrate

or confuse your reader

with long or complicated

sentences. A direct, easy-

to-read approach will get

your message across

much more effectively.


Oversimplifications

Be careful that you don’t carry simplification to an extreme.For example, to shorten sentences, some overly efficient people may be tempted to use expressions that are hard tofollow—even though they may be technically accurate.Compare these two sentences:

Oversimplification: The seven-step consumer decisionprocess model serves as a decision-making map.

Revised sentence: The seven-step model for the consumerdecision process serves as a map for those making the decisions.

As you can see, the slightly longer sentence is actually easier toread than the shorter one. In attempting to be brief and direct,the writer of the first sentence created the lengthy phrase“seven-step consumer decision process model,” which is quitedifficult to follow. In the revised sentence, this phrase becomes“seven-step model for the consumer decision process.” Eventhough this phrase is longer, its construction is much easierto understand. In addition, the longer phrase “a map forthose making the decisions” is clearer than the phrase “adecision-making map.”

Wordiness

One way to simplify long sentences is to eliminate repeatedwords or phrases.

Repeated phrases: The new alloy is softer than the oneswe’ve used in the past, less chemically resistant thanthose used in the past, and less effective than the onesused in the past.

Simplification: The new alloy is softer, less chemicallyresistant, and less effective than the ones used in the past.

In the first sentence, the phrase “than the ones used in thepast” is repeated three times. Not only is this repetitionunnecessary, it creates a sentence that’s needlessly difficult toread. The simplification uses a parallel list of items in a series.The result is fewer words and a more readable sentence.


Another way to reduce wordiness in a complex sentence is toset up the items in a list with numbers or bullets. This methodnot only clarifies a communication, it may also prepare thereaders for the material that follows the list. For example,read the following sentence:

Even if you just read the sentence quickly, you can see thatit needs to be broken down into simpler sentences. The sen-tence also groups a variety of topics, making it difficult tounderstand the true meaning. Now look at a revision of thissentence, which uses a bulleted list of items.

When items are listed with either bullets or numbers, readerscan easily identify the intent of the writer. This may not be thecase when the items are strung together in a lengthy sentence.

We feel confident that our new ad campaign for the Bravo Skin

Care line will appeal to younger women, increasing our market

share in that demographic, highlight research results demonstrating

the effectiveness of the line, showcase testimonial responses

derived from our market trial, and be more appealing to women-

oriented television cable channels.

To create a bullet on

a personal computer,

first make sure the

Num Lock key is

on. Then, as you

hold the Alt key,

type 0149. When

you release the Alt

key, a bullet will

appear.

We feel confident that our new ad campaign for the Bravo Skin

Care Line will

• Appeal to younger women

• Increase our market share in that demographic

• Highlight research that demonstrates the effectiveness

of the line

• Showcase testimonial responses from our market trial

• Attract women-oriented television cable channels


When you include a series of items, instructions, or details in your document, make sure you use parallel construction.Especially noticeable in bulleted or numbered lists, a mis-matched series appears unprofessional and can confuse your reader.

Start with the Subject

To make your sentences both direct and clearly focused, startthem with the subject. The subject of a sentence is the wordthat tells what the sentence is about.

Example: There were many employees who were interestedin applying for the new position.

What’s the subject of this sentence? To find out, ask yourselfwhat the sentence is about. In this case, the sentence is aboutemployees. The writer, however, placed two empty words, Therewere, right at the beginning of the sentence. The subject isburied in the middle of the sentence.

Revision: Many employees were interested in applying forthe new position.

In the revision, the subject appears at the beginning of the sentence.

Note: Placing the subject at the beginning of a sentence generally results in a clear, direct statement. However, youmay sometimes find it necessary to place the subject some-where other than at the beginning. The point is this: To writeclear, direct sentences, ask yourself what the most importantinformation is. Then place that information at or very nearthe beginning of the sentence.

Emphasis

It’s not always easy to emphasize your main points in writing.You can’t raise your voice or use facial expressions, as youwould in speaking. However, in your writing, you can drawattention to a particular word, phrase, or concept either byhighlighting it or by creating emphasis through your writingstyle. Let’s look at each of these techniques.

Look at the bulleted

list under the

Directness heading

in this section of

your study unit.

This list presents a

series of techniques

for making your

sentences more

direct. As a student,

you should be

helped by such

devices. First, you

have a concise list

of some techniques

you can use, which

is immediately

followed by an

explanation of each

of these techniques.

As with any other

technique, use

bullets and numbers

judiciously. Don’t

overdo it.


Highlighting devices include underlining, boldface, italics,lists, dashes, and colons. All of these devices attract thereader’s eye and, in doing so, provide emphasis. Figure 6 provides samples of each of these techniques.

When using high-

lighting devices for

emphasis, be careful

not to overdo it. Too

many highlighted

words lose their

impact and your

reader will ignore

them. Highlight only

logical and relevant

information.

underlining

In the last fiscal year, our company increased profits

by 25 percent.

Boldface

The survey revealed that totally satisfied customers are ten

times more likely to repurchase a product than customers who

are just mildly satisfied.

italics

Demographics refers to the size, structure, and distribution

of a population.

Tabulation

Our new marketing approach should result in

1. Reduced costs

2. Increased efficiency in delivery

3. Increased profitability for the line

As an alternative to a numbered list, you may prefer to

use bullets.

Our new marketing approach should result in

• Reduced costs

• Increased efficiency in delivery

• Increased profitability for the line

Dash

We have but one goal—to develop a stronger and more durable

product that outlasts our competitor’s product.

Colon

Our objective is clear: to increase sales by 25 percent during the

coming year.

Figure 6—Here are some techniques you can use to provide emphasis in

your writing.


You can also use your writing style to create emphasis in several ways. Notice that these methods for emphasis don’t use exclamation marks, which aren’t appropriate in business writing.

1. Depending on the sentences before and after it, placeyour key idea at the beginning or end of your sentence:

Examples: Profitability should increase dramatically as shipping costs are reduced.

The result of reduced shipping costs will be a dramatic increase in profitability.

The first example would follow a sentence that ended withthe idea of profitability; the second example leads to a newsentence that will further explore increases in profitability.

2. Use words that are concrete and specific rather thanabstract and general. (Note: The italicized words in thefollowing examples indicate the change from abstract to concrete.)

Abstract: At least one business has successfully adopted our inventory system.

Concrete: Harmon Industries has successfully adoptedour inventory system.

Abstract: Our new bakery item is proving popular withsome people.

Concrete: Our new Frosted Twist is clearly popular withsoccer moms and the after-school teenage crowd.

3. Repeat important words.

Example: Our purpose is to satisfy customers, to make customers feel important, and to win the customers’ loyalty.

Sentence VarietyMonotony puts people to sleep; variety keeps them alert. That principle certainly applies to writing. In any kind ofwriting you undertake, try to vary your sentences to makeyour material more interesting and easier to understand. For example, read the following paragraph:


This paragraph is easy to read and it’s interesting, becausethe writer varied the structure of the sentences. Notice howeach sentence begins:

(1) We, a pronoun, which is the subject of the sentence

(2) Unfortunately, an introductory transition

(3) When, a subordinating conjunction

(4) Following, a verbal, which is the subject of the sentence

(5) Where, a subordinating conjunction

In the next section of this study unit, you’re going to movefrom writing sentences to constructing paragraphs. First,complete Practice Exercise 2.

(1) We have been observing our sales people. (2) Unfortunately,

we’ve found that some of you should remember to be more patient,

more attentive, and more courteous in dealing with customers.

(3) When you talk to customers, make courtesy a prime concern.

(4) Following the old saying “The customer is always right” may

seem frustrating at times, but the alternative is not worth its cost.

(5) Where courtesy is absent, sales are lost.

Practice Exercise 2Reduce wordiness in the following sentences by reordering or simplifying their text

or improving their construction.

1. The small city of Wilkes-Barre was built next to the Susquehanna River and it was

a fertile farming area until coal became a very valuable natural resource and mining

took over.

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

2. I asked Gwendolyn if there is a shop that sells gifts that are nice that is near the hotel.

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

(Continued)


Practice Exercise 2 3. Carlos went to college. He attended the University of Pittsburgh. He earned a degree in

marketing. He works for Allegheny Advertising, Ltd. He is a market analyst.

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

4. A wellness program for all employees makes sense for Allied Technical Services because

it reduces absenteeism among employees, improves employees’ overall health, improves

performance and productivity, and saves money on healthcare costs.

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

5. Katrinne has many more clothes than her brother has, many more shoes than her

brother has, and many more coats than her brother has.

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

In the following examples, emphasize main points by using concrete terms,

reorganizing the sentence, or using punctuation to highlight words.

6. Among several goals discussed for the next fiscal year, the company’s executives agreed

that reducing production costs will be most important.

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

7. Several out-of-state companies are interested in our new technology.

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

(Continued)


Sentence TypesAnother way to provide your audience with variety is to varysentence types. Sentences are classified by their purpose, orby what they intend to do. There are four types of sentences:

• Declarative

• Imperative

• Exclamatory

• Interrogative

The purpose of the sentence also determines which endpunctuation mark you’ll use.

Declarative Sentences

A declarative sentence makes a statement. It ends with a period.

Franklin D. Roosevelt was elected president four times.

Practice Exercise 2 8. Mr. Washington thinks that our main goal, which is to sell more than our main competitor,

will be reached some time late this year.

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

9. Some nurses tried to convince the administrator that the new scheduling system was

not working.

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

10. In his welcoming address, Mr. O’Connell repeated his main point several times.

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________



Imperative Sentences

An imperative sentence gives a command or makes a request.The subject is usually understood (you). It usually ends witha period (Figure 7). Some commands or requests are so strongthat an exclamation point is required. However, as mentionedearlier in this study unit, exclamation points are rarelyappropriate in business writing. If you do have the occasionto use an exclamation point, never end a sentence with morethan one. One exclamation point is all you need to make your point.

Please mail this letter on your way home. (Request)

Stop! (Command)

Exclamatory Sentences

An exclamatory sentence expresses strong feeling. Exclamatorysentences are always followed by an exclamation point. Again,these sentences are rarely appropriate in business writing.

What an incredible story!

That’s wonderful!

Figure 7—”Call 555-

2863 and ask for

Sameeta.” An imperative

sentence usually ends

with a period.


Interrogative Sentences

An interrogative sentence asks a question. It ends with aquestion mark.

Can you stop at the dry cleaners?

Correcting Fragments and Run-On Sentences

Sentence Fragments

Now that you’re more confident about what correct sentenceslooks like and how they should be punctuated, you’ll be ableto identify writing errors more easily. We briefly discussedsentence fragments earlier. Now we’ll take a closer look at notonly defining them, but also looking for ways to recognizeand correct them in your own writing.

As you know, the main elements that make up a completesentence are the subject and the predicate. If either of thesevital components is missing, it’s simply not a sentence.

Alex, Jen, Maisie, and their dog Chopper.

The house on the hill.

Stirring the mixture constantly.

Stood up.

These are all perfectly good parts of sentences; they’re justnot complete thoughts. But usually by adding a word—themissing verb or noun—or a phrase, you can turn your incomplete thought into a correct sentence.

Alex, Jen, Maisie, and their dog Chopper like to play frisbee.

The house on the hill has eight rooms.

Henry was stirring the mixture constantly.

Caroline stood.


Some fragments have asubject and a predicate,but still aren’t completethoughts.

When Dan rode tothe lake.

At first, you might thinkthis is a sentence— it doeshave a subject and a pred-icate, a capital letter at thebeginning, and a period atthe end. But it doesn’texpress a completethought. It leaves you ask-ing, What happened whenDan rode to the lake? Let’scomplete it (Figure 8).

When Dan rode to the lake, his dog followed him.

These errors may be more difficult to spot when they followthe independent clause.

Dan’s dog followed him. When he rode to the lake.

The house on the hill still stands. Although it has beendecaying for years.

These fragments depend on something else to completethem, so they’re called dependent clauses. That’s becausethey begin with subordinating conjunctions, when andalthough. Other subordinating conjunctions are where, since,while, and because. A relative pronoun, such as who,which, that, whose, or whom, also requires additional supportto express a complete thought. Here are some dependent-clausefragments that can be easily corrected.

Although it’s raining.

Who happens to be my brother.

While I’m visiting Aunt Jane.

These phrases might be fine in conversation (even writtendialog), which is much less formal than writing. But whenyou write, especially for business, make sure each thought

Figure 8—”When Dan rode to the lake, his dog followed him.”

This example adds an independent clause to a dependent clause

to make a complete sentence.


is complete. If a sentence contains a dependent clause, youmust also include an independent clause to support it andcomplete the thought. Then you can be sure your reader will understand exactly what you’re trying to say.

Another error some writers make is adding details in a separate phrase without connecting the thoughts in a waythat completes them. For example, here’s a perfectly goodsentence, but the details that are added separately are a fragment.

Beth has many hobbies. Such as quilting, knitting, gardening, and skydiving.

Together they seem to make a complete thought, but the second sentence can’t stand alone.

Such as quilting, knitting, gardening, and skydiving.

In this case, rather than adding missing words, all that’srequired is a change in punctuation.

Beth has many hobbies, such as quilting, knitting, gardening, and skydiving.

Here are some more examples. To complete the thought, youneed to combine the sentences.

Everyone piled into Kareem’s new car. Since he was goingto the library.

Tim studied for the test. Because he needed to improvehis average.

Elana planned to paint the kitchen. After the tenantmoved out.

When you combine the two sentences, the first one becomesthe independent clause, which supports the second part—thedependent clause.

When you’re checking your own work for errors, try readingeach sentence aloud, to see if it makes sense on its own. If itdoesn’t, see if the sentence before or after it completes thethought and can be used to support the fragment. If thereare no supporting sentences around it, you must add themissing part, usually a subject or verb.


Run-on SentencesA run-on sentence isn’t a sentence that’s too long. It’s a sen-tence that’s not punctuated properly. In fact, famous authorslike Victor Hugo and William Faulkner (whom we alreadymentioned) have been known to write sentences hundreds oreven thousands of words long. But as long as they’re structuredand punctuated correctly, they aren’t run-ons.

The main problem with run-on sentences is that two or moreseparate thoughts run together, so the reader may becomeconfused. Generally, there are two separate sentences writtenwith no punctuation between them, or the two sentences arejoined by a comma, which is insufficient to divide independentclauses (Figure 9). Look at these examples of run-on sentences:

I looked all over the house for the remote control it was inthe coffee table drawer where it belongs.

Jan loves tennis, she practices three hours a day.

The quarterback fumbled the ball was picked up on theone-yard line.

A sentence doesn’t have to be long to be a run-on. Look atthis one.

Blake fell his ankle hurt.

The sentence contains two complete thoughts, which must beproperly punctuated if they’re to make sense to the reader.

According to the

Guinness Book of

World Records, the

longest sentence in

English was written

by William Faulkner

and appears in his

novel, Absalom,

Absalom! It contains

1,287 words. In Les

Miserables, Victor

Hugo, a French

novelist and poet

(1802–1885), wrote

a sentence 823

words long. In spite

of their length,

these aren’t run-on

sentences because

their punctuation

correctly connects

the clauses. Figure 9—”Jan loves tennis, she practices three hours a

day.” These are two separate thoughts, so they should be

punctuated with a period or a semicolon, not a comma.


Blake fell. His ankle hurt.

Or

Blake fell; his ankle hurt.

The semicolon is sufficient to divide the two ideas if you don’twant to use a period and start a new sentence. The thoughtscould also be expanded to give the reader more information.

Blake fell because his ankle hurt.

Or

Blake fell and hurt his ankle.

Run-on sentences can be corrected using a comma and acoordinating conjunction such as and, but, or, yet, for, or so.

The quarterback fumbled, and the ball was picked up onthe one-yard line.

Blake fell, but he wasn’t hurt.

Another way to correct a run-on sentence is to make one ofthe clauses dependent by adding a subordinating conjunction,such as when, if, where, while, before, since, until, or unless.A comma may be needed for clarity.

Blake fell when his ankle began to hurt.

When the quarterback fumbled, the ball was picked up on the one-yard line.

You may also use a conjunctive adverb with a semicolon.Words like however, therefore, furthermore, afterwards, ormeanwhile are commonly used to clarify meaning when twoindependent clauses are joined.

Blake fell; however, his ankle hurt before that.

The quarterback fumbled; meanwhile, his teammate sawwhat had happened, picked up the ball, and ran to theone-yard line.

Once you’re familiar with the clear flow of ideas found in correctly structured sentences, you’ll become more sure ofyour ability to identify and correct run-on sentences.

Now practice what you’ve learned in Practice Exercise 3.


Practice Exercise 3Among the following sentences there are some sentence fragments that need to be

combined with an independent clause to form complex sentences. There are also

run-on sentences that need to be separated or combined as compound or complex

sentences. Some sentences are correct as they are. Rewrite the fragments and

run-on sentences to make them into correct sentences.

1. Jason hid Jared’s keys they were in the planter.

__________________________________________________________

2. Carey loves chocolate, but Paul prefers marshmallows.

__________________________________________________________

3. We ran into heavy traffic. Because we left at rush hour.

__________________________________________________________

4. Johann and James are brothers. But they aren’t twins.

__________________________________________________________

5. I heard a crash, I looked down the street.

__________________________________________________________

6. After he received a raise.

__________________________________________________________

7. Kate picked up the house was a mess.

__________________________________________________________

8. Please hand me the book. That’s on the table.

__________________________________________________________

9. We will wait.

__________________________________________________________

(Continued)


Practice Exercise 310. Let’s have chicken for dinner. Unless you’d rather have fish.

__________________________________________________________

11. The cat on the couch.

__________________________________________________________

12. The pony ran and ran she almost ran into the fence.

__________________________________________________________

13. Meet me. At the corner of Main Street and Lincoln Avenue.

__________________________________________________________

14. John Steinbeck, a famous American novelist, wrote a number of classics that we were

required to read in college, including The Grapes of Wrath, East of Eden, Cannery Row,

Of Mice and Men, and several others, the names of which I can’t remember right now.

__________________________________________________________

15. I was reading a book Madelyn gave me a piece of sticky candy.

__________________________________________________________



Self-Check 1At the end of each section of Writing Sentences and Paragraphs, you’ll be asked to pause

and check your understanding of what you’ve just read by completing a “self-check”

exercise. Answering these questions will help you review what you’ve studied so far.

Please complete Self-Check 1 now.

Label each of the following sentences with the correct description. Choose from the

following: simple, compound, complex, compound-complex, fragment, or run-on.

______ 1. Edinburgh is the capital of Scotland, but Glasgow is its largest city.

______ 2. Call me as soon as you get home.

______ 3. Running every day of his life.

______ 4. Bhanu learned about the program from Marcus, who had attended last year; Grace had

already enrolled, although she was now having second thoughts about her decision.

______ 5. Quietly sang a lullaby to her baby brother.

______ 6. After John and I got to know each other we became very good friends, we went

everywhere together.

______ 7. When Robert stood in front of the group wearing a top hat and an argyle sweater.

______ 8. Unless he stops playing games on his computer, Glenn is going to get in trouble

at work.

______ 9. When the job offer comes and if Enrique decides to take it, he will have to move

to Seattle.

______ 10. I sat in the sun and read my book.

______ 11. Teodulo studies hard I know he’s in the library every night.

(Continued)


Self-Check 1______ 12. Zoe left.

______ 13. I like Ashika very much, but she ignores me, although I’ve given her gifts and done

her favors.

______ 14. I want to study European history; my sister loves science; my mother has gone back

to school to get a degree in business.

______ 15. Rainbows in the sky.

Rewrite the following sentences or phrases on a separate sheet of paper to make them

more direct, more readable, or less wordy.

16. Remove one match from the box. Close the box. Strike the match on the rough surface. Do

not touch the flame. Do not touch the head of the match. Keep away from children.

17. This handy brochure is jam-packed with vital information over a vast and varied range of

interesting and surprising company-related topics you can read carefully and thoroughly at

your earliest convenience, keeping in mind that you’ll more than likely need to become as

familiar as you can with recent legislative acts related to the overall benefits, what is required

and what is not, and your company’s outstanding program, as well as an assortment of other

prescription drug programs similar to it.

18. Janet Warren is not only the most honest of all the candidates for senator, she is also the

most experienced, with more than 10 years of service in the government; she has the

endorsement of all three of the major cities’ newspapers; she has already proven herself a

reliable representative at the state level; and she has a reputation for her strong moral fiber

and sense of ethics.

19. Our community outreach program attracted the attention of more than one local hospital,

as well as a couple of labs.

20. This chapter, and, indeed every chapter of this text, throws acronyms at you like confetti in

a parade for the home team. It is one of those chapters you may need to refer back to from

time to time for reference.



PARAGRAPHSHave you ever listened to someone tell a story and had difficulty following it? Probably that person had problemsorganizing his or her thoughts. When you write, you havethe luxury of having more time to think about what youwant to say. You can take time to organize your thoughtsinto groups of ideas and present them in a logical order.

In this section, you’re going to learn how to construct a paragraph. Generally speaking, a paragraph is a group ofsentences about a related idea. Grouping sentences intoparagraphs makes a document more readable. Think of aparagraph as a device for gathering sentences around a single controlling or central idea.

Writing Effective ParagraphsYou’ve already learned about the ABCs of writing inIntroduction to Writing:

A Abstract: Tell your reader what you’re going to talk about.

B Body: Present supporting details about your topic.

C Conclusion: Summarize what you’ve said in the body.

You can use this same formula for developing an effectiveparagraph. The primary or controlling sentence of the para-graph, called the topic sentence, is like the abstract. It’s oftenthe first sentence. It should tell your reader what the paragraphis about. Following the topic sentence should be severalsentences that support the concept presented in the topicsentence. These sentences are like the body of a manuscript.Finally, the closing sentence in a paragraph is like the conclusion. It should repeat and reinforce the idea or conceptpresented in the topic sentence.

When you sit down to write, you may often find it difficult toknow where to begin. The ABC formula can provide directionto get you started and to help you organize your material.


Unity and Coherence

A paragraph is coherent when its sentences work togetherin clear, understandable relationships to develop the mainidea. The key idea of the topic sentence should flow logicallyand smoothly into the sentences that follow it. To write coherentparagraphs, you must organize your document and use effectiveconnections from one sentence to another. A unified paragraphis one in which each sentence in the body reinforces anddevelops the key idea of the topic sentence. Let’s look at asample paragraph to see how these concepts work.

The key, or controlling, idea appears in the first sentence. Youimmediately know the paragraph will be about magnetism.Read the paragraph again, this time paying attention to howthat key idea is referred to directly or indirectly in eachsentence of the paragraph. This technique gives the paragraphboth unity and coherence.

Another way to create cohesiveness in a paragraph is to provide transitions. A transition is a means by which a writerguides readers from one sentence to the next and from oneparagraph to the next. For example, notice the word sailors atthe beginning of the second sentence. This word connects thesecond sentence to the first one by naming a specific categoryof “humankind” mentioned in the first sentence. The secondsentence elaborates on the first sentence by introducing an illustration. The second sentence also uses the word its to refer to magnetism in the first sentence, thereby clearlyand logically connecting the two sentences together.

Magnetism has been known to humankind for at least the last

2,000 years. Sailors first used its effects by placing a special stone

on a piece of wood and then floating the wood in a bowl of water.

No matter where the ship sailed or how it turned, the stone always

pointed in the same direction. Because the sailors used the stone

to guide them across the open seas, it became known as a lode-

stone, or guide stone. In fact, a lodestone is a sliver of magnetite,

an iron oxide mineral, which has the natural ability to attract iron

or other material that can be magnetized.

Make sure you have

smooth transitions

between sentences;

otherwise, your

reader may not see

the connections

between your ideas.


The English language has many words you can use to provide transitions for your readers. Figure 10 provides a list of just some of the many words and phrases you can use as transitional elements. Here’s an example that illustrateshow transitions help your writing.

Without transition: Miles received the statistics on April 19, the day after he had submitted his report. He was unable to use them to help his argument.

With transition: Miles received the statistics on April 19,the day after he had submitted his report. Therefore, hewas unable to use them to help his argument.

The word therefore in the second example shows the relation-ship between the two sentences. In the first example, readersmust determine the relationship on their own. Transitionsmake writing clearer and easier to read.

Look again at the paragraph on magnetism and try to identifythe transitional expressions it contains. Some examples arefirst, then, no matter, because, and in fact. To help you under-stand how important transitional expressions are, cross all ofthem out and then read the paragraph without them.

Paragraph Length

If there’s agreement about anything in most types of businesswriting, it’s this: Short paragraphs are usually better thanlong ones. We say usually because no fixed or set rules existregarding the length of paragraphs. For example, you maychoose to use a longer paragraph when you must provide

If you don’t use

effective transitions

in your writing, your

reader must work

harder to under-

stand what you have

to say. As a result,

the reader may

simply give up

and not read the

material.

also

although

as a result

as soon as

as well as

because

consequently

first

for example

furthermore

however

in conclusion

in fact

instead

in summary

namely

nevertheless

next

no matter

on the contrary

on the other hand

otherwise

similarly

then

Figure 10—These are just some of the many expressions you can use in your writing to help your

readers move smoothly from one sentence to the next. Make it a point to use them in your writing.

You may even wish to add to this list as you come across other words you can use as transitions.

Transitional expressions


explanations or illustrations to clarify your controlling idea.On the other hand, since business writing should be practical,efficient, and logical, longer paragraphs may be counterpro-ductive. As a general rule, strive for shorterparagraphs—about three to five sentences.

In summary, to write an effective paragraph, express yourcontrolling idea in the first sentence. Use transitionalexpressions to link sentences in light of your controlling idea. Keep your paragraphs short unless—as in a complexreport—a longer paragraph may seem the best option. In the final sentence of each paragraph, briefly summarize what the paragraph is about.

Practice Exercise 4 1. Explain how the structure of a paragraph and a longer document are similar.

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

2. Read the paragraph below. Examine it and identify the methods used by the author to

provide coherence. The sentences are numbered for easy identification.

(1) There are only about a hundred different elements. (2) These include such common

substances as hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, silicon, aluminum, and copper, as

well as many substances that are known only to scientists. (3) Atoms of two or more

elements combine to form most of the substances with which we are familiar. (4) For

example, hydrogen and oxygen, two gases, combine to form water. (5) The result of the

combination of two elements is called a compound. (6) Water is a compound that

results from the combination of the elements hydrogen and oxygen.

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

(Continued)


Elements of a ParagraphA paragraph is a unit of thought that focuses and develops asingle subject. Thus, a good paragraph is said to be unified.It’s also said to be coherent, from the Latin word meaning “tostick.” All the sentences in a paragraph should “stick together,”flowing logically from one meaning to the next. A unified,coherent paragraph may be developed in several ways.

Practice Exercise 4 3. Examine the following sets of sentences and try to determine a relationship between

them. Then rewrite the sentences, adding a transition to help the reader understand

their meaning. You may rewrite them as two sentences, or you may decide to combine

them into one sentence.

a. I decided not to go to the movies. I had already seen the show they had chosen.

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

b. The report was due first thing Friday morning. I stayed late Thursday night to

finish it.

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

c. Sommerset has many different kinds of fruit trees. Apple, pear, peach, and cherry

trees dot the landscape as far as you can see.

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

d. To ignite the grill, open the valve on the gas tank. Turn on the gas and press the

ignite button.

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

e. Charles wanted to attend the celebration. He stayed home. He had promised to care

for his two nephews.

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________



The Topic Sentence

Typically, a paragraph begins with a topic sentence, a statementof the main idea or subject. Note how the italicized topicsentence orients the reader to what follows in this paragraph:

One of the most attractive features of word processing is theefficiency of editing documents. Mistakes are easy to fix,especially with the selections provided in the menu. Evenbetter, you can do editing on screen—add this, delete that,substitute something here, rearrange something there. Or, ifyou prefer, you can edit a printout, called a hard copy. Eitherway, you don’t have to retype the whole document. Simplymove the cursor (a blinking light or marker that indicatesyour position on the monitor) to the exact spot in the docu-ment where you want to add, delete, or move text. Thenmake the changes.

The topic sentence doesn’t have to be the first sentence. Thetopic sentence can appear anywhere in the paragraph. Manyparagraphs build up to the main point, saving the topic sen-tence for last. Here’s an example:

The neighbor’s dog dug up my dahlia bulbs at eighto’clock in the morning. At nine, the water heater burstand soaked the family room carpet. My son was senthome from school with poison ivy at ten o’clock, and ateleven the rain started. The roof started leaking at noon.Some days just aren’t worth getting up for.

Can you identify the topic sentence in the following paragraph?

Accuracy isn’t the only goal in technical documents. Youhave to make sure the letter or report is clear, concise,and logical—in other words, readable. What makes writingreadable? Writing teachers often urge their students tothink of their purpose, medium, and audience as theywrite. Why is this document being composed? What formwill it take? Who will read it and what are their needs? To communicate effectively, good writers keep these questions in mind.


The statement that best pinpoints thetopic of this paragraph is the secondsentence: You have to make sure theletter or report is clear, concise, andlogical—in other words, readable. Theremaining sentences in the paragraphsomehow relate to readability. Thefirst sentence doesn’t mention read-ability outright, but it leads to the pointthrough logical comparison.

In some paragraphs, the main topic isso obvious to the reader that it doesn’thave to be stated at all. This oftenhappens in paragraphs that givedirections or tell a story. What is thetopic of the following paragraph?

Computers were first intended to doquick mathematical calculations.Today’s computers can also be usedto file information, create graphics,process data, and manage accounts.

They also perform many other functions that help busi-nesses run smoothly and keep costs down. Some officesuse word processors that aren’t full-scale computers. Theylook something like electronic typewriters and use com-puter technology for the sole purpose of creating writtendocuments.

Remember that each sentence in a paragraph contributes to the topic, so some aspect of the topic must be present ineach sentence. Could the topic here be “Why Computers WereInvented”? No. Only the first sentence touches on that. Thesame goes for “Computers and Mathematics.” This paragraphhas a more general purpose. Let’s try “Computers in Today’sOffices.” No, that still isn’t right; then the first sentencewouldn’t belong. A title such as “Some Uses of ComputerTechnology” best sums up the paragraph (Figure 11).

Here’s another paragraph in which no single sentence statesthe topic. However, the topic is clear from the informationthat’s given.

Figure 11—Computer technology can not only help

you compose a piece of writing, it can also be an

interesting topic for writing.


The snow on the roads had packed and frozen during the night. As Ann drove slowly to work, she saw severalempty cars that had skidded off the road into the snow-banks. The car radio blared news of an eight-car pileupon a highway, and it cautioned drivers to use an alternateroute. Drifting snow had closed another highway, accordingto the announcer.

In this paragraph, could the topic be “Ann’s Driving Skills”?Since Ann’s driving is mentioned in only one sentence, thiscouldn’t be the topic. How about “The Value of a Car Radio”?The radio isn’t mentioned in the first two sentences, so thiscouldn’t be the topic, either. To determine the topic, decidewhat subject is mentioned in each sentence. The topic couldbe “Snowstorm Causes Hazardous Driving Conditions.”

Go back and read these two example paragraphs again tofind the details that tell you the topics.

Unity: Sticking to a Topic

Although paragraphs don’t have to begin with a topic sentence, beginning with the topic is usually an effectivestrategy. Putting the topic up front helps the reader predictthe information that follows. Wherever the topic sentenceappears—the beginning, middle, or end of the paragraph (or not at all)—every sentence in the paragraph should contribute to supporting or developing the topic.

Dan decided to write a paragraph describing a black locusttree. He freewrote the following in his journal:

The black locust tree has flowers that look like sweetpeas, it has seed pods, and it has deeply pitted bark. Iremember reading somewhere that it was almost wipedout during the ice ages. When I was a child, I alwaysknew that when I smelled its blossoms, school would soon be over for the school year.

All of Dan’s information is interesting, but does all of itdescribe the tree? Some of it does, some of it doesn’t. So the next step is to sort through the information and selectonly those sentences that describe the tree. As he sortsthrough the sentences describing the tree and as he adds


details, Dan realizes that the textures of the tree’s variousparts present quite a contrast. He uses this fact about tex-ture for the basis of his first sentence—his topic sentence.

The black locust tree presents an interesting contrast in textures. Round, golden-green leaflets that look andfeel like suede unfurl late in May. Its smooth, off-white,sweet-pea blossoms appear soon after. The rugged, vertical ridges of its black trunk contrast with the soft colors and smooth textures of the flowers and leaves. The twisted, bumpy seed pods with satin linings cling to the sparse, brittle branches long after the leaves have dropped.

Notice that every sentence in Dan’s paragraph contains a ref-erence to the texture somewhere on the tree, thus fulfillingthe promise of the topic sentence. The paragraph has unity;every sentence and every word belongs.

Here’s another example of a descriptive paragraph. As youread, identify the topic sentence. See if you can state themain theme of the paragraph in one brief phrase. Ask your-self, “What single idea holds all the sentences together as aunified whole?”

Ben is a striking man. Big and solid like a football pro, he is tanned a rich brown from working in the sun. Hissilver-white hair and his ice-blue, transparent eyes arestartling against his dark skin. Although he has a slendernose, his thick lips and puffy eyelids give his face a sensual look.

The topic sentence begins the paragraph. Each sentenceshows a different aspect of Ben’s striking appearance.

Not all paragraphs are descriptive, of course. More often thannot, writers write to relate ideas. The idea expressed in aparagraph might be something that can’t be seen or felt, butthat you know about through reading or through conclusionsreached by your own mental processes. For example, youmight write to express thoughts on topics such as these:

• Why the crime rate is so high

• What should be done with the space program

• How your local government can function better


• Why dinosaurs became extinct

• How homeowners can improve their lawns

Dan decided to follow up on his recollection that the locusttree was almost wiped out during the ice ages. He went tothe library and found some fascinating information. Thenhe wrote this paragraph:

The detective work of scientists has revealed that the black locust tree, which flourishes today in theAppalachians, was almost wiped out during the ice ages. As glaciers crept south through the AppalachianMountains, the black locusts fell before the crushingmountains of ice. The tree survived only in the summits of the southern Appalachians, where the glaciers didn’treach. As the glaciers melted and receded, the hardylocust gradually reclaimed much of its former range.Today you can drive through the northern AppalachianMountains in Pennsylvania and see tall stands of thishardy, thorny tree.

Notice, again, that the first sentence is the topic sentence. Ittells the reader about the idea that the paragraph willdevelop. Every sentence gives further information about thatidea.

Coherence: Making Sentences Flow

One of the delights in watching a skillful athlete or a talenteddancer perform is seeing how every body motion flows out ofone movement and into another. The continuous stream ofmotion gives the movements power and clarity. If your writingis to be clear and readable, every sentence must flow easilylike an athlete’s or a dancer’s movements. Sentences must go from one to another without any break in the forwardmotion of your thought. Sentences that abruptly start andstop leave readers wondering where they’ve come from orwhere they’re going.

Here are four suggestions to help you achieve a graceful anddynamic sentence flow:


1. Transitional words and phrases draw attention to relation-ships. They help a reader follow the direction of yourargument. We can categorize these transitional words orphrases according to the four types of relationships theyindicate:

a. The relationship of continuation: again, also, similarly,besides, furthermore, in addition, moreover, next to,continue, likewise

No one can doubt Herb’s honesty. Besides, he had nomotive for embezzlement.

b. The relationship of conclusion: as a result, consequently,hence, in conclusion, so, then, therefore, thus, accord-ingly, to sum up, in short, in brief

This new sealing compound will be popular throughoutthe building industry. We should, therefore, beginmarketing it at once.

c. The relationship of contrast: but, however, nevertheless,on the contrary, on the other hand, yet, notwithstanding,instead, conversely, in spite of, still, nor

Pauline led her department with energy and determi-nation. Nevertheless, her progress up the corporateladder was slow.

d. The relationship of comparison or illustration: forexample, to illustrate, that is, in other words, in fact, ashas been said, as is well known, as a matter of fact

India is not a poor country. As a matter of fact, itpossesses large reserves of iron and coal.

2. The deliberate repetition of key terms over one or twosentences will highlight each step in the advance of yourthought and will aid reader comprehension. You must becareful, however, that the word or phrase is central toyour meaning and that you don’t overuse it. Examples:

The by-products of our new promotional campaignhave been numerous. One by-product is the increasedconsumer familiarity with our company and its rangeof services.


Nature’s wonderful engineering reaches its peak in the design of the hand. The hand has 25 joints capableof 58 separate motions. With these 58 motions peopleplay, hunt, build, dance, destroy, love, and shape theiraspirations with endless variety.

The symbolism of American Indian art flows frommyths. These myths are social creations of the tribethat celebrate and perpetuate its communal life.

3. Verbal links are used to hook the beginning of one sen-tence to the end, to something near the end, or to thewhole of the previous sentence.

Bill lay down beneath the tree. There, the rustlingleaves formed a cool canopy over him.

Sentences not linked in a smooth flow break the reader’strain of thought. Such breaks tend to slow down or pre-vent effective communication.

Before you hang any wallpaper, drop a plumb line. Bythis means you’ll keep all the strips in vertical alignment.(If the reader doesn’t know what a plumb line is, he orshe has to stop and find out what one is.)

The demonstrative pronouns this, these, that, and thoseare an easy and convenient method for referring thereader to some part of the preceding sentence. However,you must always be sure that the pronoun’santecedent—the word it refers to—is clear.

Clear: You won’t help the problem of our pro-duction shortfalls by your perpetual harping. That can only hamper creativesolutions to our present as well as ourfuture troubles.

Unclear: Blue chip stocks were falling, and mybroker advised me to invest in selectedmutual funds. This led me to revise myportfolio.


In the first example, the pronoun that refers to perpetualharping. In the second, it’s unclear whether this refers tothe falling blue chip stocks or to the broker’s advice. Theeasiest way to avoid ambiguity is to give a fuller statementof what the pronoun refers to, as this advice led me torevise my portfolio. In this last example, the demonstrativepronoun this has been replaced with the demonstrativeadjective this and the noun advice.

4. Parallel repeats of similar word patterns, either within orbetween sentences, will lay down even tracks over whichyour meaning may roll without interruption. Examples:

For many women, the balance of rewards and costs inhaving children may appear more favorable than thebalance of autonomy and energy expended in pursuing a career. (Parallel repeat within a sentence)

The issue is not whether we will ignore or help thepoor. The real question is whether the poor will endurepassively or explode in violence. (Parallel repeatbetween sentences)


Practice Exercise 5The best way to learn how to write is to start writing. Here are two projects to get

you started!

1. Think of an item, a person, or an animal that you feel you can describe well. Your

subject can be anything from a baseball bat to a well-loved hat to your grandmother to

the squirrel outside your window. When you’ve decided what you’re going to describe,

take some scrap paper and freewrite a few sentences about your subject. The sentences

should describe anything and everything about it in sensory detail—its size, shape,

color, texture, smell, sounds, and so on. Write anything that comes to mind that might

help a reader envision the subject vividly. Then sort through your sentences, as Dan did

in his description of the locust tree, and pick out those sentences that you think belong

together in a paragraph.

Do you see any all-inclusive sentence that you can use as a topic sentence? If so, put

that sentence first. If not, think of a new sentence that sums up the theme of the other

sentences in the paragraph. There must be something they all have in common; other-

wise, you wouldn’t have chosen them for your paragraph! Begin the paragraph with

your topic sentence. Arrange your remaining sentences in some sort of logical order.

Now you have a first rough draft.

Take a coffee break. Walk around the block. Listen to some music. Weed your garden.

Do something enjoyable to clear your mind for a few minutes before you return to your

draft. Once your mind is clear, it’s time to revise your work—to see it again. Using the

guidelines given earlier, rewrite until you’re satisfied that you have a well-written, clear,

interesting paragraph.

2. Write a paragraph about an idea that you have. It might be an idea of how something

can be improved or why you think a certain event happened. It might be something as

simple as your plan for catching an elusive mouse or as complicated as various ways to

discipline children. If you can’t think of a new idea, you might consider some of the

ones we’ve mentioned already (for example, the crime rate, or one of the writing

topics we gave you).

The subject you choose should be one that you know well. Choose a subject that

you feel strongly about and can write about from experience or from ideas already

in your mind.

Again, follow the writing process from prewriting exercises through planning, organizing,

drafting, and revising. Remember that your sentences and paragraphs will be more

interesting to your reader if you use specific details—strong nouns and verbs, colorful

modifiers (adjectives and adverbs)—and a direct, lively style.

After you’ve written the final version of your paragraphs, you can turn to the answer

section on page 79 for some helpful self-evaluation suggestions.


Paragraph StructureJust as there are many ways to comeup with ideas and many ways toexpress them, there are many ways toarrange details in paragraphs. Writersoften place details in spatial order,chronological order, order of importance,or order of comparison and contrast.

Spatial Order

When a real estate agent describes ahouse from front door to back door or from top to bottom,that person is ordering ideas spatially.To arrange details in spatial ordermeans to place them in the order oftheir locations in space or in relation-ship to one another (Figure 12). Here’san example:

My mother always plants her garden thesame way. She begins in the middle with peas. On bothsides of the peas she plants lettuce. The next row on theright side contains broccoli, and the next row on the leftside contains cabbage. Beside the broccoli she plantsbeets; beside the cabbage, radishes. She finishes the rightside with several rows of corn. The left side, which facesthe lawn, ends with several rows of flowers that bloomthroughout the summer.

Chronological Order

To arrange details in chronological order means to arrangethem in the order of time in which they occurred. Stories thatbegin “Once upon a time” are usually told in chronologicalorder. You’ll find chronological order the easiest way to organ-ize paragraphs that explain the steps of how to do something,whether it’s how to get to your house, how to make your spe-cial fish chowder, or how to do your job.

Figure 12—use spatial order to describe parts of

your subject—such as plants in a garden—according

to their location.


Order of Importance

Writers often arrange supporting details in the order ofimportance, either from the most important to the leastimportant, or from the least important to the most important.In newspaper articles, press releases, and business reports,the most important information usually goes first, so readerscan find the main points right away. If your purpose is simply to relay information quickly, and if that’s what youraudience expects from you, place details in order of most toleast important.

In other cases, the more effective organization is from leastimportant to most important. This structure is more dramaticand more likely to hold the reader’s interest. If your purposeis to entertain, captivate, or build a persuasive argument,and your audience expects to be engrossed rather than togloss, place details in order of least to most important.

Comparison and Contrast

Another common way to develop a paragraph is to compare thesimilarities and contrast the differences between things. Thismay be done two ways.

1. You can show all the aspects of the first object and then allthe aspects of the other object. Your paragraph will becomposed of two halves generally equal in style and sen-tence structure.

My older daughter is the shortest girl in her class. She hasbrown hair, brown eyes, and a contagious giggle. Myyounger daughter is the tallest girl in her class. She hasblond hair, blue eyes, and a contagious giggle.

2. Or you can alternate aspects of the two subjects beingcompared and contrasted. Be careful to treat only oneaspect at a time and make certain that the aspects arecomparable.

My older daughter has brown hair and brown eyes; myyounger daughter has blond hair and blue eyes. The elderis the shortest girl in her class, while the younger is thetallest in hers. However, they both have a contagious gig-gle.


Paragraph LengthJust as commas separate groups of words, paragraphs separate groups of related sentences into distinct units.Paragraphs also allow the eye a short break.

Today, there are two ways we signal a paragraph:

1. By indenting the beginning of the opening sentence(about one inch in longhand or about five spaces in type-written copy). Sometimes a blank line is inserted betweenindented paragraphs, which is called double spacing.

2. By not indenting the beginning of the opening sentencebut by inserting a line of space between paragraphs. Thisis the method that’s used in many word processing andcomputer programs. It’s the method that we’re using inthis study unit.

Practice Exercise 6Using what you learned in this section, write a paragraph for each of the following

topics as instructed.

1. Spatial order. Topic: The location of the library in a town or a college. You can base

the information on a real place or you can make it up, as long as you place the details

in spatial order.

2. Chronological order. Topic: A simple recipe for lunch, including at least three separate

food items. Apply the step-by-step method of organization.

3. Order of importance. Topic: Writing a paragraph. Putting the most important

information first, write a paragraph explaining how to organize and write an

effective paragraph.

4. Comparison and contrast. Topic: Compare and contrast your favorite teacher with a

relative or friend of about the same age. Discuss at least three points of similarity

and/or difference between them.

Follow the planning, organizing, drafting, and revising process for writing your

paragraphs. Use details to support your topic sentence and check your punctuation

and spelling. Then check page 79 for self-evaluation suggestions.


A paragraph introduces a new topic or a new aspect of thesame topic. As we’ve discussed, a topic sentence at or near thebeginning of the paragraph often states the controlling idea. All the other sentences in the paragraph should contribute tothis idea. Of course, this assumes that the paragraph hasmore than one sentence. As a general rule, don’t write one-sentence paragraphs except in passages of dialogue or inbrief transitions between main sections of your argument.

The three most common errors in paragraphing are

1. Failing to break written thoughts into enough paragraphs

2. Breaking written thoughts into too many paragraphs

3. Introducing irrelevant matter into paragraphs

Each of these errors can ruin the unity and coherence of a paragraph.

Insufficient Paragraph Breaks

The following paragraph develops two distinct though relatedtopics. Read it carefully and then decide where the paragraphseparation should come.

Proponents and opponents of nuclear plants disagree on a number of issues. In particular, the question of safe disposal of nuclear wastes has created strong feelings andconsiderable conflict. Nuclear power has helped manycommunities. It provides the additional electricity desper-ately needed during stress periods such as extremely coldwinters and hot summers. Nuclear power has proved to bean important supplement to fossil fuel sources, especiallyin areas where fossil fuel is scarce.

Nuclear power has helped many communities is introducing anew aspect of the topic. A paragraph break there will tell thereader to watch for a new theme, in this case, the importanceof nuclear power at certain times.


Too Many Paragraph Breaks

The opposite fault—breaking material into paragraphs toooften—produces a choppy, disconnected effect. No one caneasily distinguish the topic from its development sentences ina group of short paragraphs. Study the following paragraphsand decide whether each develops a single topic.

Key legislators, who are sympathetic to the emergingstrategic-arms treaty, are nonetheless urging delay in ratification.

The legislators have already had to face a number of controversial issues—Panama, Middle East jet sales, the Turkish arms embargo—all in an election year.

To add another touchy issue and give it the attention itdeserves before the annual elections would be difficult.

No one wants to plunge into controversy just before a campaign.

All the legislators are up for reelection this year.

All of those paragraphs really center on a single theme: thereluctance of key senators to ratify a strategic-arms treaty.The sentences should therefore be grouped together as a single paragraph.

Irrelevant Matter

A third error, the introduction of irrelevant material into aparagraph, is especially distracting. (Irrelevant means notapplicable or not necessary.) Irrelevant material breaks paragraph unity. It clogs the paragraph and hinders comprehension. See if you can discover the extra, irrelevant material in this paragraph.

The increase in capital spending for the second half of theyear may turn out to be a mainstay of the economy. Wedon’t know for certain yet, since all the statistics haven’tyet been thoroughly sifted. There seem to be good groundsfor making the assumption. Business plans for capitalspending this year are so strong that they may spill overinto the coming year. That would be a helpful boost, as all economists will agree, I think. This could come as a


welcome event, since many business analysts are nowpredicting a recession in the latter part of this year or the beginning of next year. Wall Street has reacted to theupswing with a flurry of optimistic activity that no onecould have foreseen. Investors have shown their interestin the capital-spending sector by increased investment inbusiness equipment, instruments and electronics, andmovie and recreational stocks.

The following sentences all interrupt the even flow of exposition in that paragraph by blocking it with extra orredundant information.

We don’t know for certain yet . . ., That would be a helpfulboost . . ., Wall Street has reacted . . .

Rewrite the paragraph without them and you’ll see how muchmore coherently it reads.

Composing unified and coherent writing is a process that canbe learned. Clearly identify the purpose, medium, and audi-ence for any writing project that you undertake. Follow thesix primary steps of the writing process that we’ve presentedin this study unit. If you do that, you should be able to writeeffectively. It’s hard work, but if you take it one step at atime, your chances for success are great.

Now practice what you’ve learned in this section by completingPractice Exercise 7.


Practice Exercise 7In the following two examples, combine or separate sentences or passages as

appropriate. Delete any nonessential passages. Start a new paragraph only when

a new topic is introduced.

1. Arson destroys neighborhoods as surely as mass bombing.

Only a few people commit the crime, but all residents must suffer the consequences.

How could it be otherwise, given the nature of the problem, with its tangle of social and

economic issues?

Decaying buildings are torched by their owners to collect insurance money. This is a

despicable crime and ought to be vigorously investigated and punished. Most arsonists

escape punishment.

Burnt-out structures are, in turn, a haven for gangs and drug traffickers, who cause

even more arson.

Once several blocks have been gutted, a kind of collective hopelessness grips those who

can’t afford to move. The young may continue to set fires from hatred or from despair

of ever escaping their crumbling prison.

The old and sick become the prey of robbery or random violence, their final years drawn

into a whirlpool of fear.

The end comes when the municipal government gives up, curtails most services, and

abandons the neighborhood.

2. Proponents and opponents of nuclear plants disagree on a number of issues. In

particular, the question of safe disposal of nuclear wastes has created strong feelings

and considerable conflict. Nuclear power has helped many communities. It provides the

additional electricity desperately needed during stress periods such as extremely cold

winters and hot summers. Nuclear power has proved to be an important supplement to

fossil fuel sources, especially in areas where fossil fuel is scarce.

(Continued)


Practice Exercise 7The sentences in the following paragraph are out of sequence. On a separate sheet of

paper, determine the topic sentence and rewrite the paragraph with the sentences in

the most meaningful order.

3. There seem to be good grounds for making the assumption. Business plans for capital

spending this year are so strong that they may spill over into the coming year. The

increase in capital spending for the second half of the year may turn out to be a

mainstay of the economy. Investors have shown their interest in the capital-spending

sector by increased investment in business equipment, instruments and electronics,

and movie and recreational stocks. This could come as a welcome event, since many

business analysts are now predicting a recession in the latter part of this year or the

beginning of the next year.

Indicate the type of order that would be most effective—spatial order, chronological

order, order of importance, or comparison and contrast—to develop a paragraph on

each of the following topics.

4. My Summer Vacation ________________________________________________

5. How to House-Train Your Dog __________________________________________

6. The Pros and Cons of Home Ownership __________________________________

7. The Well-Organized Office ____________________________________________

8. Project Feasibility Report ______________________________________________



Connecting ParagraphsA new paragraph always marks a new line of thought; itdoesn’t stand by itself. The new group of ideas must havesome connection with the group of ideas dealt with in theparagraph before it. Therefore, paragraphs must be tiedtogether just as sentences must. To go smoothly from oneparagraph to the next, the reader needs a connecting link—

a transition. The first sentence in each of your paragraphsshould have one of the three connecting links (Figure 13) thatwe’ll discuss in greater detail in the next section:

1. A connecting word, or word bridge

2. A pointing word that refers to a word in the previous paragraph

3. An idea related in meaning to an idea in the previous paragraph

Here’s an example:

Everyone should make it a habit to read the daily paperto keep abreast of current events. Through the newspaper,we get information necessary for work and for intelligentconversation—more information than supplied by televisionor radio news reports. But newspaper writing is not meantto last. Nobody is interested in “yesterday’s paper.” Once thenext issue has been printed, the previous paper changesfrom reading matter to rubbish.

Books are different. They’re meant to be preserved and to be read and reread for years. Some of the classicswere written centuries ago and are still being read. Wekeep and cherish books; we bundle up the newspapersfor recycling.

Idea

Connectives

Idea

Word Pointers

Idea

Related Meanings

Idea

Figure 13—There are several ways to connect ideas.


For example, look at the beginning of the second paragraphin our example, “Books are different.” This sentence ties theparagraph to the first one by the third method, relationshipin meaning. The word different stands here for “different fromnewspapers” and refers to the newspapers mentioned before.

Let’s summarize these points that are so important for connect-ing your ideas. The reader needs to know how your ideas aretied together. To ensure that the reader will follow yourthoughts, always use one of the following connecting links:

1. Connectives

2. Words that point to words you used before

3. Sentences that are closely connected in meaning

To mark a break between two groups of ideas, start a newparagraph; connect paragraphs in the same way as sentences.

How to Tie Your Ideas TogetherAs you know, you must put your ideas in order to get themacross to readers. But that isn’t quite enough. You can’trely on your readers to follow that order and to understandunless you guide them, how one idea leads into the next one.

In conversation, there’s usually no such problem. The otherperson can hear you, look at you, and follow your line ofthought by the tone of your voice, your gestures, and yourfacial expressions. For instance, suppose you tell someone:

My grandfather is a very wealthy man. Every Christmashe gives me fifty dollars.

A listener can look at you and see whether you’re serious or joking. But a reader can’t look at you and has no way of guessing. For the reader you must spell things out. Forinstance, you can tie your ideas together this way:

My grandfather is a very wealthy man. In fact, everyChristmas he gives me fifty dollars.

This will tell the reader that you’re satisfied and that youthink your grandfather is doing well by you.


Or you can write the sentences like this:

My grandfather is a very wealthy man. And yet, everyChristmas he gives me fifty dollars.

Now you’ve told your reader something different. You’ve shownthat you think your grandfather should be more generous.

With the help of in fact and and yet, you’ve shown your readerthe connection between the ideas in your mind. These wordsand expressions, called connectives, tell the reader exactlyhow the ideas are tied together or related to each other.

Word Bridges

We’ve discussed conjunctions, adverbs, and transitions. Nowlet’s see how they work as word bridges for clarifying meaning.Some of them are used in everyday talk or in writing to give ita conversational style. Others are used mostly in writing togive sentences and paragraphs a more formal air. There arefar too many to list them all, but the connecting words listedin Figure 14 will be useful for most purposes. Choose yourwords based on your purpose and audience.


CONNeCTiVeS AND HOW THeY’re uSeD

Informal More Formal How They’re Used

and To connect two ideas of the

same kind

Example:

I went to the lake last week and I am going there again tomorrow.

besides, also, furthermore, in addition, To add another thought

what’s more again

Examples:

A postcard is often more effective than a letter. Besides, it’s cheaper.

The French are leaders in the world of fashion. They’re also famous cooks.

Competitive games provide good exercise. In addition, they teach the players teamwork.

first, next, then, finally, then, nearby, above, below, To arrange ideas in order,

meanwhile, later, in front, beyond, time

afterward, since, to the right, to

the left eventually

Examples:

First, drink some fruit juice. Next, have a bowl of soup. Then, eat the main dish. Finally, have

some pie and coffee.

There was much unrest in the following years. Eventually there was a series of violent incidents.

We walked across the bridge. To the right was the post office; to the left, the first national bank.

but, still, however, on nevertheless, rather To connect two contrasting

the other hand, yet, in ideas

spite of, although

Examples:

I like painting. But I don’t seem to understand modern art.

He is 85 years old. And yet, he manages to run two miles a day.

Nobody likes to pay taxes. Nevertheless, no nation can exist without them.

(Continued)

Figure 14—Here’s a summary of how some common connectives are used.


CONNECTIVES AND HOW THEY’RE USED—Continued

Informal More Formal How They’re Used

In fact, as a matter of fact indeed To connect an idea with

another one that builds on

the first

Examples:

Last week I was ill. In fact, I had to stay in bed until Saturday.

Columbus at first thought he had landed in India. Indeed, that’s why Native Americans are

called Indians.

for example, for instance, To introduce an illustration

in other words or explanation

Examples:

Rare things are valuable. For example, rare stamps are sold for thousands of dollars.

Edison was a true genius. Take, for instance, the invention of the phonograph.

There is no such thing as an “unlucky” number. In other words, this idea is pure superstition.

so, therefore consequently, accordingly To connect an idea with

another one that follows

from it

Examples:

I ate too much candy. So I got sick.

The show was over. Therefore, I went home.

The president vetoed the bill. Consequently, it never became a law.

of course, though to be sure To grant an exception or

limitation

Example:

Everybody in the family went to the movies. The baby, of course, had to stay at home.

He said he would study all day Sunday. I doubt he will, though.

On the average, Americans are taller than their parents. To be sure, there are many exceptions

to this rule.

In short, in brief To sum up, in summary To summarize several ideas

Examples:

Health experts say that we should eat food that has all the protein, fats, carbohydrates, and

vitamins we need. In short, they recommend a balanced diet.

Figure 14—Continued


Word Pointers

Another way to tie two sentences together is simply by putting into the second sentence a word that points to aword you used in the first. You can use the same word, oryou can use some other word that means the same thing or is related. Here are a few examples:

Last week it snowed for two whole days. The newscastersaid it was the heaviest snowfall in six years.

The San Francisco cable cars were invented in 1873.Before that time, people had to use horsecars.

Understood Relationships

There’s a third way to tie ideas together. In this method, no connectives are used. Instead, sentences are written sothat the connection between ideas is obvious to the reader.For example:

Most people like contemporary songs. A few prefer Mozartand Bach.

There is contrast here between the idea of contemporarymusic and the music of the two composers, Mozart andBach, who are no longer living. The reader will understandbecause the ideas in the two sentences are closely related.The reader doesn’t need to be told that:

Most people like contemporary songs. But a few peopleprefer Mozart and Bach.

Here’s another example:

Slowly, he walked across the hall. He took out his key andopened the door of the apartment.

Again, the sentences themselves show that one action followsthe other. It would be unnecessary to add then at the beginningof the second sentence. The connection between two sentencescan be felt even without a connecting word.


Sometimes, however, the reader may feel such a connectionwhen you don’t want it. You need to watch out for mistakeslike this one:

We spent our honeymoon on a cruise. Many ships havedisappeared in the Bermuda Triangle.

These sentences seem to say that there’s a connection betweenthe writer’s honeymoon and the Bermuda Triangle. And thatdoesn’t make sense, does it? If there’s a connection, the writershould make it clear.

Many ships have disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle. Wedecided to spend our honeymoon on an Alaskan cruise.

If you’re not sure that your understood connectives expressthe meaning you want to convey, ask someone else to readwhat you’ve written. Ask the person what mental connectionsthe writing led to. If your meaning was not clear or if you’reever in doubt, use a connective to ensure that the readerunderstands your meaning.

Now complete Practice Exercise 8.


Practice Exercise 8In each of the following sentences, circle the word in parentheses that will connect

the ideas correctly.

1. Two or three times they looked in my direction. (But, And, For) I lay so still that they

couldn’t see me.

2. When you’re first learning to type, the task seems hopeless. (For example, In fact, But)

you’re often tempted to give up.

3. I soon rose to a position of importance in the firm, for I was energetic, popular, and

conscientious. (Besides, Therefore, For example), my father-in-law owned the place.

4. When I was twelve years old, my uncle offered to give me cello lessons. I wasn’t

interested in music at that time, (besides, though, therefore).

In each of the following paragraphs, one sentence isn’t clearly connected with the

sentence that comes before. Find that sentence and supply the appropriate connect-

ing expression. You may need to use a word, a phrase, a clause, or even a complete

sentence to make the correction clear. (Your solutions to these connecting problems

may be a bit different than those we provide.)

5. Poor Louis seemed destined by nature to become the butt of every practical joke we

could devise that summer at camp. Whenever someone was chosen to go on some silly

errand such as to get the keys to the oarlocks, find a can of striped paint, or get a

paper stretcher, Louis was inevitably the victim. We all considered it great fun. I regret

our youthful thoughtlessness. Who knows what deep psychological wounds we inflicted

on him by our teasing and our ridicule?

6. In the eighteenth century, Englishmen had a reputation throughout Europe for their love

of eating. Visitors to England were often amazed at the large quantity and fine quality

of the fish and meat consumed. However, they could not understand the English attitude

toward vegetables, which were served only as trimmings to meat. English cooks seemed

unable to prepare an appetizing vegetable dish. Vegetables were abundant at the time

and were grown in the gardens of both rich and poor.



Writing Persuasively In Introduction to Writing, we discussed persuasive writing—presenting a point of view in a way that influences the readerto see things the author’s way. In this section, we’re concen-trating on writing paragraphs, which is a bit different fromdeveloping a full-length essay, report, or letter. The processremains the same, but the substance is limited to a single pointor topic. Here’s a summary of the persuasive writing guidelinesin a form suitable for use with a persuasive paragraph:

• State your position or opinion in your topic sentence.

• Consider what your audience needs to know.

• Show that you understand your topic.

• Provide support with reasons or examples.

• Include benefits to the audience.

• Address objections to your point of view.

• Use precise, powerful language.

Reaching Your Audience

Although a paragraph may be only one part of a longer reportor letter, each one has a purpose in the document. Some simplyinform, and others, particularly in the conclusion, are designedto persuade. And as always, your job is to make sure you meetthe needs of your audience. If you haven’t explained somethingclearly or if you assume all readers have equal knowledge, youmay not make your point.

Appealing to your audience on another level is also importantin persuasive writing. In many situations, you’re selling an ideain the same way you would sell a product—and that meanstelling your audience what they’ll gain by accepting youridea. By making sure your audience believes it will benefitfrom your proposal or the information you offer, you’re morelikely to win them over.


For instance, suppose Maura is very pleased with a new pieceof equipment she’s working with and decides to let her super-visor know. She writes that the performance of the HF 450 ismuch better than the instrument it replaced, and lists sev-eral reasons why. She closes with the suggestion that theyreplace the other older model in the lab as soon as possi-ble. As required by her company’s policy, she also sendscopies to the administrator and the board of trustees.

Since Maura’s supervisor is familiar with the instruments,she’ll understand the information in the paragraph. However,the rest of the audience—the administrator and the boardmembers—may not. To be understood, she must be morespecific about the item she’s requesting, clearly identifyingthe Stead-X HF 450 radiographic generator and what it’sused for. And, because she’s also “selling” her idea to thepeople who control the budgets and purchasing decisions,she has to show them that it will be cost-efficient.

Vague: The new machine improved speed and accuracy.

Specific: The Stead-X HF 450 cuts exposure time in half and offers 40 percent higher accuracy, resulting in fewer retakes.

By addressing the needs of all her readers, Maura focusesnot only on the benefits she’ll enjoy with another new instrument, but also how it will benefit the business.

Persuasive Language

Choice of language is an important element in persuasivewriting. By using strong, effective words to convey your ideas,you’re more likely to hold your readers’ attention and to con-vince them that you’re right. Certain words sound logical andcompelling, and help strengthen your argument, while others,particularly words that directly express opinion, weaken it.Look at the difference between these two statements:

Weak: I feel we would be better off with Alpha-Pro as our contractor.

Strong: We need Alpha-Pro to complete this project prop-erly.


Which one would convince you? The second example is muchmore powerful because it leaves no doubt that you’ve done theresearch, you know the project, and this is your conclusion.

Words have clear emotional power. You can influence yourreader’s opinion by choosing words which incorporate notonly the correct meaning, but also the attitude you want toexpress. Look at the following words and note the differencesin the values of the words, even though the basic meaningsare similar. Think about how such differences can influenceyour reader.

Think Reason Assume Daydream

Write Create Transcribe Scribble

Walk March Amble Stagger

Prove Demonstrate Justify Rationalize

This difference is in each word’s connotation—the emotionalvalue or cultural interpretation it has taken on. Your carefuluse of words with strong emotional backing will help winreaders to your opinion. For example, suppose your departmentwants to hire a designer, and you’ve contacted Jacob, whowas highly recommended by a respected designer you know.Your first impression is mixed—Jacob is an odd-lookingcharacter sporting out-of-style clothes and a bad haircut;however, when you discuss your company’s needs and you seethe work in his portfolio, you know he’s exactly right for thejob. The language in your summary of the meeting will influ-ence others in the department. Imagine their reaction to thefollowing statements:

Jacob is a weird little dude, but his work is really good.

Or

Jacob is a unique individual with a genius for the type ofdesign that will put us above all competition.

What’s the difference between a weird little dude and a uniqueindividual? It’s mainly in the connotation of the words. Tomaintain a professional attitude—and get what you want—youchoose the language that “sells” Jacob to your coworkers. Youruse of powerful words to describe his ability (genius) and howit will help the company (put us above all competition) willfurther strengthen your case for hiring Jacob.


As you can see, writing a persuasive paragraph is more thanjust providing information or an opinion. By considering theneeds of your audience, providing details, and using powerfullanguage, you can influence others—perhaps even changepeople’s minds.

As you complete your writing exercises, also keep in mindwhat you’ve learned about writing complete sentences andstructuring paragraphs. Remember to use a direct approachand the active voice whenever possible, to further strengthenyour writing. Finally, as you did with earlier assignments, letyour writing rest for a while before making the final edits.When you review it, look at it from your audience’s point ofview and make sure they’ll recognize the truth of your ideaand how it will benefit them.

Now review what you’ve learned by reading the WritingProcess Review on the next page. Complete Practice Exercise 9.Then continue on to Self-Check 2. Take your time writing theparagraphs and refer to the Writing Process Review as oftenas necessary, since this will be your last practice before yourfinal exam.


WriTiNg PrOCeSS reVieW

Writing a Paragraph

1. Identify your purpose for each paragraph and write it at the top of a page.

2. Using brainstorming, list all the ideas you can think of for developing the paragraph.

3. Write details related to each idea. (For practice, make up details, names, titles, and facts

as needed to provide depth and to effectively use the writing skills you’ve learned.)

4. Freewrite about experiences or ideas you’ve had that relate to the topic.

5. Review your prewriting and choose ideas and details most pertinent to your topic.

6. Decide on an organizational pattern, such as chronological or order of importance.

7. Begin your rough draft by writing a topic sentence. You’ll want to polish it later, but at first it

serves the purpose of getting you on the right track for the paragraph.

8. Choose the best three or four ideas from your prewriting to develop your paragraph.

9. Develop your paragraph using clear, varied sentences, concrete words, and effective transitions

or connectives to create a logical flow.

10. Set your draft aside for a few days before you proofread and make final edits.

Revising, Editing, and Proofreading

1. After letting your writing rest for a day or two, print a clean copy of your rough draft.

2. Identify your controlling idea and make sure it’s clearly stated in your topic sentence. Rewrite

the topic sentence, making sure it’s interesting and flows well into the next sentence.

3. Check that every sentence in the paragraph directly develops and supports the controlling idea.

Cross out any sentences in which you got sidetracked.

4. Look for even, complete development of your idea and for any gaps in your reasoning.

Develop further explanations or details as needed.

5. Look at the end of each sentence and the beginning of the next one. Have you included proper

connectives to guide your reader from one idea to the next?

6. Start at the end of the paragraph and look at each sentence separately. Does each one represent a

complete thought, or is it a fragment needing to be connected to another sentence in some way?

Does it contain two independent clauses that run together or have only a comma between them?

7. Compare sentence lengths and structures—did you provide your reader with variety?

8. Edit and proofread by applying the skills from all four study units, including word choice,

grammar, spelling, usage, and punctuation.

9. Remember that you must have eight to twelve sentences in each paragraph.

10. Prepare a final draft of each paragraph.


Practice Exercise 9Items 1–5: Improve the following sentences or phrases by adding details, using the

active voice, and including more powerful, specific, or connotative language.

1. The mayor said his birthday would be a special day in town.

2. I think we should change our brand name to something like Charge.

3. The company is to be headed by a new administrator.

4. That lady in the public relations department seems smart, but she never changes her

mind once she says something.

5. That new equipment makes our work faster and the customers like the results.

Items 6–10: In the following sentences, underline the words that carry connotations.

6. Any reasonable person would recognize this scheme.

7. William was lounging at his desk, daydreaming, with a smirk on his face.

8. The last applicant was a mousy woman who turned out to be a notorious hacker.

9. In the current economy, it’s wise to persevere with our modest investment schedule.

10. Connie referred to the innovative software as one more newfangled headache.



Self-Check 2Follow the instructions below and write two paragraphs, each about 8–12 sentences long.

Use the skills you’ve been practicing, including prewriting, planning, drafting, and revising,

as well as proper grammar, spelling, usage, punctuation, and writing techniques. Let your

writing rest before you proofread and make the final edits. Then copy your finished para-

graphs into the spaces below.

1. Write an informational paragraph about the advantages or disadvantages of using email.

You’re writing for a travel club newsletter.

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

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__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

(Continued)


Self-Check 2 2. Write a persuasive paragraph in which you try to convince an elderly relative that he or she

should use email instead of writing letters by hand.

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

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__________________________________________________________



NOTES

PRACTICE EXERCISES

Practice Exercise 1 1. The girls had left early, but they arrived home too late

for dinner.

2. The sentences aren’t related.


4. Kathleen had cut out a new pair of slacks, and Mariannewas working on the jacket.


6. that will improve his condition (adjective)

7. which is on the roof of the barn (adjective)

8. after I received your report (adverb)

9. Unless the directions are followed carefully (adverb)

10. whose car is blocking the driveway (adjective)

11. where the road forks (adverb)

12. before you make up your mind (adverb)

13. who was the eighth president of the United States (adjective)

14. that is on your desk (adjective)

15. that you ordered for the kitchen wall (adjective)

16. Complex

17. Simple

18. Complex

19. Complex

20. Compound

21. Simple

22. Compound

75

Answers

Answers

Practice Exercise 2The answers given here are suggested improvements to thesentences. Your answer may be different, but should use oneof the methods covered in this section.

1. Wilkes-Barre, a small city on the Susquehanna River,was a fertile farming area until coal mining took over.

2. I asked Gwendolyn if there is a nice gift shop near the hotel.

3. Carlos earned a degree in marketing from the Universityof Pittsburgh and now works for Allegheny Advertising,Ltd. as a market analyst.

4. A wellness program for all employees of Allied TechnicalServices will

• Reduce absenteeism

• Improve employees’ overall health

• Improve performance and productivity

• Save money on healthcare costs

5. Katrinne has many more clothes, shoes, and coats thanher brother has.

6. Reducing production costs will be our most importantgoal for the next fiscal year.

7. Arundel Health in Maryland, the Skye Group, Inc. inVermont, and Susquehanna Science Corp in New Yorkare interested in our new billing and tracking software.

8. Mr. Washington said we expect to reach our most important goal—outselling Technifruit—by October 30.

9. A group of nine nurses representing all three shifts triedto convince Dr. Vandelle that her split-shift schedulingwas not working.

10. In his welcoming address, Mr. O’Connell emphasizedthat the company would not downsize and would notclose.

Practice Exercise Answers76

Practice Exercise Answers 77

Practice Exercise 3 1. Jason hid Jared’s keys. They were in the planter.

Or

Jason hid Jared’s keys, which were in the planter.

2. Correct

3. We ran into heavy traffic because we left at rush hour.

4. Johann and James are brothers, but they aren’t twins.

5. I heard a crash, so I looked down the street.

6. After he received a raise, he bought a new car. (Or similar completion of thought)

7. Kate picked up, since the house was a mess.

Or

Kate picked up. The house was a mess.

8. Please hand me the book that’s on the table.

9. Correct

10. Let’s have chicken for dinner, unless you’d rather have fish.

11. The cat sat on the couch.

Or

The cat on the couch is mine. (Or similar correction,adding a verb and completing the thought)

12. The pony ran and ran; she almost ran into the fence.

Or

The pony ran and ran; in fact, she almost ran into thefence. (Or similar separation of independent clauses)

13. Meet me at the corner of Main Street and Lincoln Avenue.

14. Correct

15. I was reading a book. Madelyn gave me a piece of stickycandy.

Or

While I was reading a book, Madelyn gave me a piece ofsticky candy. (Or similar separation of clauses)

Practice Exercise 4 1. The composition of well-written paragraphs and well-

written documents is similar, following the ABC pattern.Both should begin with an introduction to what the para-graph or document is about. This introduction is followedby details that support the information presented inthe introduction. Finally, the paragraph or documentends with a summary or conclusion that restates theidea in the introduction.

2. Here are some of the ways in which the author has provided coherence in the paragraph. You may haveidentified some different ones.

a. The second sentence uses the pronoun These to refer to elements. This technique connects the firsttwo sentences.

b. The second sentence contains examples to illustratethe elements mentioned in the first sentence.

c. The fourth sentence includes the phrase “For example”to let the readers know they’re going to see an exampleof how atoms combine.

d. The fifth sentence begins with “The result of the com-bination,” which refers to the combination mentionedin the previous sentence.

e. The sixth sentence ties together the fourth and fifthsentences by showing how the combination of hydrogen and oxygen (sentence 4) is a compound(sentence 5).

3. Note: Your transitions may be different from those shownhere. These are just examples.

a. I decided not to go to the movies, since (or because) I had already seen the show they had chosen.

b. The report was due first thing Friday morning.Therefore, I stayed late Thursday night to finish it.

Or

Since the report was due first thing Friday morning, I stayed late Thursday night to finish it.



c. Sommerset has many different kinds of fruit trees. Forexample, apple, pear, peach, and cherry trees dot the landscape as far as you can see.

d. To ignite the grill, open the valve on the gas tank.Then, turn on the gas and press the ignite button.

e. Charles wanted to attend the celebration. Nevertheless,he stayed home, since he had promised to care for histwo nephews.

Practice Exercise 5You might want to set your paragraph aside until tomorrow oreven until next week. Then reread it, pretending that someoneelse has written it and that you’re trying to form a mentalpicture by reading the paragraph. Is the writing clear? Do allof the details carry through the idea of the topic sentence?Have you included all the important points that contribute toyour subject?

And why not complete the writing process by presenting your work? Let a family member or friend read the paragraphyou wrote. Sometimes another person can offer an honestresponse that will help you to improve your writing. Choosesomeone who will be understanding of what you’re trying toaccomplish. Before you give this person the paragraph to read,explain your purpose. In the case of your description, youwant to know whether a clear picture forms in the reader’smind as he or she reads it. With your second paragraph, youwant to know whether the reader comprehends the idea.

After you’ve analyzed the paragraph, make any changes youfeel are necessary.

Practice Exercise 6Let your writing rest for several hours or overnight. Beforeyou review each paragraph, reread the section of the studyunit that describes the detail order for that paragraph. Locateyour topic sentence, then, as you review your work, make sureyour details follow in the correct order. Check for completesentences and proper punctuation and spelling. Revise theparagraph as needed.

Practice Exercise 7 1. Arson destroys neighborhoods as surely as mass bombing.

Only a few people commit the crime, but all residentsmust suffer the consequences. Decaying buildings aretorched by their owners to collect insurance money.Burnt-out structures are, in turn, a haven for gangs anddrug traffickers, who cause even more arson.

Once several blocks have been gutted, a kind of collectivehopelessness grips those who can’t afford to move. Theyoung may continue to set fires from hatred or fromdespair of ever escaping their crumbling prison. The oldand sick become the prey of robbery or random violence,their final years drawn into a whirlpool of fear. The endcomes when the municipal government gives up, curtailsmost services, and abandons the neighborhood.

2. This paragraph breaks in the middle with a second topicsentence: “Nuclear power has helped many communities.”A paragraph break here will tell the reader to watch for anew theme, in this case, the importance of nuclear powerat certain times.

Here’s the same material that has been divided into two paragraphs.

Proponents and opponents of nuclear plants disagree ona number of issues. In particular, the question of safedisposal of nuclear wastes has created strong feelingsand considerable conflict.

Nuclear power has helped many communities. It providesthe additional electricity desperately needed duringstress periods such as extremely cold winters and hotsummers. Nuclear power has proved to be an importantsupplement to fossil fuel sources, especially in areaswhere fossil fuel is scarce.

3. The increase in capital spending for the second half ofthe year may turn out to be a mainstay of the economy.There seem to be good grounds for making the assumption.Business plans for capital spending this year are sostrong that they may spill over into the coming year. Thiscould come as a welcome event, since many business



analysts are now predicting a recession in the latter partof this year or the beginning of next year. Investors haveshown their interest in the capital-spending sector byincreased investment in business equipment, instrumentsand electronics, and movie and recreational stocks.

4. Chronological

5. Chronological

6. Comparison and contrast

7. Spatial

8. Importance

Practice Exercise 8 1. But

2. In fact,

3. Besides,

4. though

5. . . . We all considered it great fun. But now I regret ouryouthful thoughtlessness. Who knows what deep psycho-logical wounds we inflicted on him by our teasing andour ridicule?

6. . . . English cooks seemed unable to prepare an appetizingvegetable dish, which was surprising considering thatvegetables were abundant at the time and were grown inthe gardens of both rich and poor.


Practice Exercise 9 1. Use specifics: Mayor Bradley declared that June 4, his

birthday, would be celebrated with a festival in the park.

2. Avoid opinion words and use more commanding language:Our market research shows a strong, positive responseto the brand name Charge.

3. Use active voice and specifics: Cassie Rodriguez is thenew president of Tech-Mark, Inc.

4. Use specifics and connotative language: Rebecca, thecommunications writer, seems bright, but she’s as stubborn as a mule. (Negative)

Or

Rebecca, the communications writer, is clear-thinkingand decisive. (Positive)

5. Use specifics: The FX 2.1 AutoCAD drafting softwarereduces turnaround time by 32% and produces exceptionalprints—Ray from Jeffers Brothers Contracting and Chrisfrom Tall Towers, Inc. both raved about them.

6. Any reasonable person would recognize this scheme.

7. William was lounging at his desk, daydreaming, with asmirk on his face.

8. The last applicant was a mousy woman who turned outto be a notorious hacker.

9. In the current economy, it’s wise to persevere with ourmodest investment schedule.

10. Connie referred to the innovative software as one morenewfangled headache.

SELF-CHECKS

Self-Check 1 1. Compound

2. Complex

3. Fragment

4. Compound-complex

5. Fragment

6. Run-on

7. Fragment

8. Complex

9. Complex

10. Simple

11. Run-on

12. Simple

13. Compound-complex

14. Compound

15. Fragment

Answers to items 16–20 are examples of how the writingmight be improved.

16. After removing one match, close the box. Carefully strikethe match on the rough surface. Keep matches out of thereach of children.

17. This brochure contains vital information regarding thenew law and company benefits and requirements relatedto your prescription drug program, as well as otherprograms from which you can choose.

18. Janet Warren is the best candidate for senator becauseshe offers her constituents

• Honesty and sincerity

• Ten years’ experience in government

Self-Check Answers 83

Self-Check Answers84

• Reliable representation

• Moral and ethical authority

• Endorsements from all the major newspapers

19. Our community outreach program attracted the attentionof Memorial, Mercy, and Municipal Hospitals, as well asHealthtrust Laboratory and Midtown Medical Services.

20. This chapter contains many acronyms, so you may needto refer to it later.

Self-Check 2Read the paragraphs from your audience’s point of view.Make sure they’re written in complete sentences, have atopic sentence, and use effective language and the activevoice when appropriate. The paragraph should be structuredproperly according to the instructions in this section.

1. Your paragraph may include some of these points:

Advantages:

• Communication is faster.

• You can answer email from anywhere you travel.

• You can send a single letter to multiple recipients.

• You’ll have an electronic record of all communications.

• You can include digital photographs in your emails.

Disadvantages:

• You must carry a laptop or find an available computer.

• Unless you have a wireless connection, you may spend alot of time looking for a place to hook up to the Internet.

• Your trip may be disrupted by frequent emails fromwork or home.

• You’ll still have to handwrite or print out and mailletters to people who aren’t connected to the Internet.

Make sure your paragraph is written to people who would bereading a travel newsletter and that examples or reasons arerelated to travel.

Self-Check Answers 85

2. Your paragraph may contain some of the following points:

• It’s easy to learn how to use email.

• You can communicate with friends and relatives allover the world.

• You can send a single letter to multiple recipients.

• Grandchildren may be more likely to respond to email.

• You can share photos or documents easily.

• Communication is faster.

Make sure you’ve considered the point of view of an olderperson who isn’t familiar with computers. Your choice ofwords should reflect respect for your audience and use afriendly, encouraging tone.

If your paragraphs are not as effective as you’d like them tobe, reread the information and examples in this section, referto the Writing Process Review, and make corrections beforeyou go on to your final examination.

Self-Check Answers86

NOTES

87

GENERAL INSTRUCTIONSRead and complete the requirements for this examination only after

you’ve completed the previous study units.

1. Refer to your previous study units, the practice exercises, the

Writing Process Review, and the self-checks as you write your

exam paragraphs.

2. Refer to the Evaluation Criteria to ensure your exam paragraphs

meet the criteria to the best of your ability.

3. Include the following information at the top of each page.

Name Student Number (eight digits) Exam number Page X

Mailing Address

Email Address

Example:

Jane Smith 12345678 02800400 Page 1

111 Education Drive, Any Town, PA 18515

[email protected]

To insert a header on each page that includes page numbers,

a. Double-click in the top margin of your Word document; this

will open the Insert tool bar and Header and Footer tools.

b. Click on the Page Number button. Choose the Plain

Number 1 option to insert the page number at the top left

corner of your page.

Examinatio

nExaminatio

nWriting Sentences and Paragraphs

EXAMINATION NUMBER

02801100

Whichever method you use in submitting your exam

answers to the school, you must use the number above.

Examination88

c. Place your cursor in front of the number to type your name

and other identifying information as you see it in your study

guide. Do not change the page number; it will adjust auto-

matically to each new page of your document.

Note: You can type and format text in the header as you

would in the body of your paper.

d. When you’re finished, click the Close Header and Footer

button or double-click in the body of your document.

Note: If you don’t include this information at the top of each

page, you’ll lose points in the format section. If you fail to

include your name and student number, your exam may not be

processed for grading.

4. Include both paragraphs in one document, labeling them Paragraph

1 and Paragraph 2. Double-space your work and use Times New

Roman font, size 12. After preparing a rough draft, read the evalua-

tion criteria and revise your work carefully, correcting any errors you

find. Make sure to spell-check and grammar-check your work, too.

Submit only your final drafts. Do not include your prewriting, draft-

ing, or revising work.

5. Save your document as a Rich Text Format (RTF) file using your

name, student number, and exam number (Example: Jane Doe

12345678 028004).

6. Submit your examination in one of these two ways:

• Submit the exam online. To do so, go to your student portal and

click on the Take Exam button for Exam 028004. On the next

page, click Browse and locate your saved file on your computer,

then upload.

• Mail the exam in the envelope provided or your own business-size

envelope. From your computer, type or print the exam on 8½-by-

11-inch white paper. Send your exam to the following address:

Penn Foster

Student Service Center

925 Oak Street

Scranton, PA 18515

Examination 89

ASSIGNMENT

PurposeThis examination will give you practice applying all the writing skills

you’ve learned in the first four study units by developing two separate

paragraphs of 8–12 sentences each.

Paragraph 1

BackgroundYou’ve applied for a specific job in your field of study. The Human

Resources Department arranges an interview and tells you to bring with

you a polished piece of writing for them to evaluate your writing skills.

The paragraph must describe one particular experience you’ve had that

inspired you or guided you to choose the type of position for which you

applied.

Your audience is your potential employer and your purpose is to show

you have thought carefully about what and/or who has motivated you

toward this career choice and why. In addition, you want to convey your

enthusiasm for this position as it relates to your inspiring experience.

Take time to think about what your audience wants to know and strive

to reach a balance between informal and formal business writing.

Process 1. Prewrite about your field of study and create a specific job for

which you might want to apply at a particular business or organiza-

tion in your area. Outline what that position would look like.

Brainstorm details, names, titles, and facts to provide depth to your

paragraph and enable you to write a polished paragraph.

2. Freewrite about the different experiences you’ve had that moti-

vated you to choose your area of study. Pick one on which to

focus—one that triggers sparks of enthusiasm. Review your prewrit-

ing and choose what’s most pertinent to the experience and position.

Decide on an organizational pattern, such as a chronological outline,

and arrange those details into a logical, coherent flow.

Examination90

3. Open a Word document and type the heading Paragraph 1. Begin

your rough draft with the topic sentence, in which you state the

position and place, as well as your reason for wanting to be hired

as it relates to your inspiring experience. Develop the experience

you organized in Step 2. Include not only details about the one

experience, but also show how that experience inspired you, partic-

ularly as it relates the position for which you’re applying. Develop

your paragraph using clear, varied sentences containing concrete

words and transitions or connectives to create a logical flow. Show

enthusiasm, yet maintain a somewhat formal tone.

Paragraph 2

Background

Your favorite cousin has moved to your town and is looking for a job.

Her previous experiences are working as a cashier and sales clerk at two

department stores. You know she plans to apply at similar stores in your

town. But you also know she is a perfect match for a job opening as a

reliable assistant to your boss. You know she has the skills, though she

doesn’t think she is as capable as she is, and you’re sure she’d be good

at this job.

Your goal is to persuade your cousin to apply for the job. You email her

a paragraph explaining the specifics of the job and the reasons she

should apply. You want to convince her that she has the job skills

required. You’ll use an informal tone, of course, but will take care to use

correct business writing to show her that you take your recommendation

seriously.

Process

1. Using your imagination, create the kind of skills the job as boss’s

assistant requires. Make up names for your boss and the company,

as well as any facts that might help you prove your case to your

cousin. Freewrite about the skills you’ve seen her show in other

settings and about how you can convince her to use those abilities

in this position. In addition, consider personality traits that show

she would work well with your boss. Also make up details and fig-

ures about how this job will benefit your cousin personally and

professionally.

Examination 91

2. Circle the information your cousin most needs to hear to be per-

suaded to apply for this job. You won’t be able to use everything

you made up. Organize the details and explanation using an order

of importance pattern.

3. Open the Word document containing your draft of Paragraph 1 and

begin a new page. Type the heading Paragraph 2 and draft your

8–12 sentence paragraph. Begin with the topic sentence, in which

you establish your confidence in your cousin and spark her interest

in applying for this job. Develop your paragraph using clear, varied

sentences and concrete words with transitions or connectives that

create a logical flow. Use the information you’ve identified as most

important and make your paragraph as persuasive as possible.

Revising, Editing, and Proofreading

1. Print a clean copy of the rough drafts. First identify the topic sen-

tence. Although you’ve learned that in some paragraphs the main

idea is understood, your assignment for each paragraph requires

you to establish your first sentence as your topic sentence. Rewrite

the first sentence to make it interesting and to flow clearly into the

next sentence. Then check that every other sentence in the para-

graph directly develops and supports your first sentence. Cross

out any sentences in which you got sidetracked or started another

major thought not directly necessary to developing the topic sen-

tence. Revise your paragraph so you fully develop your focus with

clear, logical reasoning. Develop further explanation or details as

needed to fill any gaps.

2. Continue revising by comparing the end of each sentence with the

beginning of the next. Be sure you’ve included proper connectives

to guide your reader from one idea to the next. Restructure those

sentences where you find a gap or break in flow because you shifted

focus or perspective.

Examination92

3. Your next task is to start from the end of the paragraph and look at

each sentence separately. Does each one represent a complete

thought or is it a fragment needing to be connected to another sen-

tence in some way? Does it contain two independent clauses

running together with only a comma between them? Correct the

problems. Compare sentence length and structure throughout the

paragraph to make sure you’ve included some complex sentences.

Check the first five words of each sentence. Make sure you vary the

opening to provide your reader with variety. Remember that you

must have 8–12 sentences in your paragraph.

4. Edit and proofread by applying the skills from all four study units,

including word choice, grammar, spelling, usage, and punctuation.

5. Prepare a final typed draft of each paragraph formatted according to

the submission instructions. Submit only your final draft of each in

one Word document. Do not include your prewriting, drafting, or

revising work.

EVALUATION CRITERIA

Name:

ID:

SkillRealized

SkillsDeveloped

SkillsEmerging

SkillNot

Shown

Content and Development: the writeraddressed topic; provided sufficient detailto support the main idea; the writer identi-fied the correct audience and addressed thepurpose of the assignment.

Para. 1: Described a specific life experienceto show reason interested in job field

15 14 13 12 11 8 0

Para. 2: Identified specific skills of joband related them to cousin’s experience topersuade

15 14 13 12 11 8 0

Organization and Coherence: the writerused a topic sentence to introduce themain idea of each paragraph; contentshows clear, logical organization and flowof ideas.

20 17 16 15 13 10 0

Examination 93

Exam Grade:

Date:

Evaluator:

Audience and Tone: The writer identifiedthe correct audience and appropriate tonefor each paragraph. The writer usedactive voice and varied sentence types tofollow a natural rhythm.

20 17 16 15 13 10 0

Grammar and Mechanics: the writeremployed correct sentence structure, gram-mar, punctuation and other conventions ofstandard American English. The writerrevised, edited and proofread to present anaccurate, professional final draft.

20 17 16 15 13 10 0

Length and Format: 8-12 sentences perparagraph; double spaced; correct fontand font size; correct header placementand content

10 9 8 7 6 4 0

Important Notice: You should see some marginal comments

along the right-hand side of your evaluated exam as well as high-

lighted numbers on the above evaluation chart. If you don’t, click

on the “View” tab of your word-processing menu and then on

“Print Layout.” Or click on “Review” click on “Show Comments” and

in the “Track Changes” area, be sure the option shows “Final

Showing Markup.” If you sitll do not see this feedback, please

email or call the school so we can provide your exam in PDF format

showing the complete evaluation.

Study Unit Writing Sentences and...

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