Stories with a Purpose: Family Attachment Narrative Therapy

Melissa Nichols, MA, LMFT

2008

FANT: The Importance of the Narrative

The ability to use narratives or stories to describe an experience, contemplate a scenario and plan for the future is a unique quality of the human race. It is through stories that children learn cultural roles and expectations and the meaning of concepts such as love, good and evil, freedom and truth. As the child develops the capacity for language and beings to share thoughts and feelings with the parent, a common perspective is shared and internalized. This is the perspective that is retold in story form with others and with self. When this process does not take place, behavior tends to be instinctive, impulsive and imitative. Although thoughts are not always predictive of behavior, the way we think is reflective in out action.

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts, with our thoughts (stories) we make the world.”Dhammapada (Buddhist Observation)

“Beware of the stories you tell yourself For you will surely live them”“Cultural Tales” George Howard (1991)

“For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”Proverbs 23:7 NKJV Bible

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FANT: Theoretical BasisTheory

Attachment disordered children have a self-defeating internal working model

Problem behavior is often a reflection of this internal perspective

This destructive perspective can be permanently shifted and healed

The positive emotional connection (attunement) between a parent/child is innate and does not have to be taught.

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FANT: Theoretical Basis

Methodology Parents tell all the narratives Parents do all of the nurturing holding Holding is NOT used to work through

intense emotions Intense emotions are addressed with

EMDR

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FANT: Theoretical Basis

Narrative Themes Attachment & bonding Trauma history Behavior change

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Attachment Program

Diagnostic Interview Assessment Data: Past Evaluations, Records,

etc. Observational Staff Coordination

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Attachment Program

Intensive Structure: Lead Therapist/Play Therapist Time: length & frequency Assessments Attachment Worksheet:

recommendations Final Report Follow-up Assessments

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Activating Parental Attunement

Rather than assuming the role as expert, the task of the therapist is to facilitate the parent’s innate ability to attune to their child’s internal process. This means that the therapist elevates the parent to the status of expert in identifying components of their child’s perspective or internal working model. This process begins as the therapist employs an affirming, inquiring, questioning method of eliciting the parent’s intuitive knowledge of the child’s motivating thoughts and emotions.

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Activating Parental Attunement

Parent’s experience Child’s background What would your child be like if

you had started out together? Child’s thoughts and feelings

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Shifting Inner Working

Model with Narratives

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Why Do Stories Work?

Stories are culturally universal and timeless Organizes memories and gives meaning to

life (coherent narrative) Stories promote neural integration of

thinking and feeling Stories channel a different perspective of life

events--Change the story, change self understanding

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Constructing Stories

Setting Props Perspective Hero Message

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Types of Narratives

Claiming Developmental Trauma Successful Child

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Claiming Narratives

Strengthens emotional bond Facilitates trust Establishes birth order Extended family Passes on traditions, history,

rituals

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Developmental Narratives

Facilitates cognitive development

Enhances emotional regulation Builds relationships Remedial skill building

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Narrative Themes

From the first, you were a child that deserved to be loved and

cared for by parents you could trust.

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Trauma Narratives

Heals pain of trauma Creates empathy Fosters understanding

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Narrative Themes

Even though you experienced abuse,

abandonment, neglect, you deserved to be loved

and cared for by responsible parents.

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Successful Child Narratives

Teaches values Reinforces cause and effect thinking Presents alternative behaviors Explains basics of “How To Do” life

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Narrative Themes

Your problem behavior does not define your value and we will be there to love

and support you as you make changes.

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Additional Resources

Parenting with Stories: Creating a foundation of attachment for parenting your child (Nichols, Lacher & May, 2002)

Connecting with Kids (Lacher, Nichols, & May, 2006)

First Steps for Strengthening Adoptive Families (DVD & Study Guide)

Website: www.familyattachment.com

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Supporting ResearchBower, G.H. & Morrow, D. G. (1990). Mental Models in Narrative Comprehension. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence-Erlbaum.In order to make sense of a narrative or story, there must be an identification with a protagonist which allows a here and now perspective to be adopted. In doing so, the narrative has the capacity to travel back and forward in time and space, thus allowing the message to become immediately relevant.

Charon, J.M. (1985). Symbolic Interactionism: An Introduction, Interpretation, and Integration. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall. The process of verbally interacting with self and others is essential in the development of the ability to evaluate present behavior and plan for change in the future.

Osofsky, J.D. (1993). Applied Psychoanalysis: How research with infants and adolescents at high psychosocial risk informs psychoanalysis. Journal of American Psychoanalytic Association, 41, 193-207.The inability to form a coherent strategy to ensure protection from the caregiver has been identified in the narratives of maltreated children. Children exposed to disruption and family violence typically construct an incoherent, chaotic life narrative.

Pynoos, R.S., Steinberg, A.M., & Goenjian, A. (1996). Tramatic Stress in Childhood and Adolescence: Recent Developments and Current Controversies. In B.A. van der Kolk & A.C. McFarlane (Eds.) Traumatic Stress (pp. 331-358). New York: Guilford Press.When faced with a frightening situation, the inability to contemplate a solution seems to retard developmental accomplishments and interfere with successful processing of subsequent traumatic events.

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Supporting ResearchSiegel, D.J. (1999). The Developing Mind: toward a Neurobiology of Interpersonal Experience. New York: Guilford Press.Parent-child reflective dialogue that identifies the mental state that fuels behavior, perceptions, intentions, goals, beliefs and desires seem to promote both secure attachment and the integrative process of co-construction of narratives.

Solomon, J. George, C., & DeJong, A. (1995). Children Classified as Controlling at Age Six: Evidence of Disorganized Representational Strategies and Aggression at Home and School. Development and Psychopathology. 7, 447-464.Securely attached children typically tell stories in which the child protagonist struggles, finds a solution and ultimately lives happily ever after.

Zwaan, R. A. (1999). Situation Models: The mental Leap into Imagined Worlds. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 8, 15-18.The experience of narrative is the same as being in or observing the real situation.

The Innate Quality of AttunementGeorge, C. & Solomon, J. (1999). Attachment and Caregiving: The Caregiving Behavioral System. In J. Cassidy & P. Shaver (Eds.) Handbook of Attachment: Theory, Research and Clinical Applications (pp. 649-670). New York: Guilford Press.In order to ensure survival, the parent is biologically driven to provide care and protection in the same way the child seeks proximity in order to be cared for and protected by the caregiver. Just as the infant is physiologically comforted when the parent is available, the mother experiences strong emotions of pleasure and satisfaction when she is able to provide protection and heightened anger, sadness or despair when her ability to be available to her child is threatened.

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Supporting Research

SupportCrockenberg, S.B. Infant Irritability, Mother responsiveness, and Social Support Influences on

Security of Infant-Mother Attachment. Child Development 52, 857-865.

FANTMay, J.C. (2005). Family Attachment Narrative Therapy: Healing the Experience of Early

Childhood Maltreatment. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 31, 221-237.

Parenting ResourcesBailey, B.A. (2000). I Love You Rituals. New York: Harper.

Glasser, H. N. & Easley, J.L. (1999). Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach. Tucson, AZ: Center for the Difficult Child.

Jernberg, A.M. & Booth, P.B. (1997). Theraplay: Helping Parents and Children Build Better Relationships Through Attachment Based Play (2nd ed.) San Francisco: Jossey Bass.

Kranowitz, C.S. & Miller, L.J. (2006). Out of Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder. New York: Perigree.

Nelson, J. (2006). Positive Discipline . New York: Ballantine.

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Family Attachment Center

18322C Minnetonka BlvdDeephaven, MN 55391

952-475-2818

www.familyattachment.com