The Anti-Bullying Handbook ForTeachers and Administrators

Build Respect, EncourageResponsibility, Teach Compliance

And

STOP BULLYING

James H. Burns AssociatesJim BurnsPaul McEnerneyAll Rights Reserved1-732-920-7879www.bullyproofclassroom.com

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Table of Contents

The Anti Bullying Handbook for Teachers and Administrators

Section One

Introduction - 4Anti Bullying Bill of Rights – 6-9“Bullying: Behavior That No One Forgets” – 10-11The Definition and Types of Bullying – 12-14Statistics and Myths – 15-17Tattling/Teasing/Ratting/Reporting – 18A Safe Learning Environment – 19-23Practicing Good listening Skills – 23-24“Do Bullies Have Low Self Esteem” - 25

Cyber-Bullying – 26-34Consequences for Acts of Bullying – 35-39

Section Two – Intervention Models

The Traditional Method – 40-41Mediation – 41Conflict Resolution - 42Restorative Practices – 43-44The Support Group Method – 44-45Strengthening the Victim - 46-47The Minimum - 48Anti-Bullying Campaign – 49-52Teacher and Student Documentation - 53Expectations and Procedures – 54-57Character Education and Respect, Responsibility, and Compliance – 58-77Dealing with Parents – 78-83Anti-Bullying Classroom Rules - 84

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Section Three – Activities

The Thing I Like Most About You – 86-87Bully Free School Guided Fantasy – 88-90Class Mural - 91Name That Tactic – 91-93Cyber Bullying Public Service Announcement - 94Social Media Friend or Foe - 95Acceptable Use Policy - 96Positive Self Talk - 97Messages from Me-ME - 98Wrinkled Wanda - 99The Toothpaste Activity - 100Who Am I - 101Character Education and Respect - 102Websites – 103-110

Section Four – Scenarios and Situations Timelines for Reporting – 112-126

Resources and References – 127-130

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Introduction

Bullying has become an epidemic in our schools. However it is defined,bullying is not just child’s play, but a terrifying experience many Americanschool children face every day. It can be as direct as teasing, hitting, orthreatening, or indirect as exclusion, rumors, or manipulation. During thepast decade, bullying has become more lethal and has occurred morefrequently than it had in the previous two decades. Cyber bullying with theuse of cell phones, the computer and the social media have created anenvironment for our children where they can be bullied at any time and inany place. The recent suicides by some of the victims of bullying havegained much media attention have proven further that, bullying can nolonger be explained away, as some adults are inclined to do, as a normal partof growing up. Bullying has only harmful, not beneficial, effects for thetarget and the perpetrator- even the bystander. Many children in our nation’sschools are robbed of the opportunity to learn because they are bullied andvictimized daily. Bullying exacts a terrible toll on children, and the scarscan last a lifetime.

The Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights Act which was introduced on November 8,2010 and signed by Governor Christie of New Jersey in January states thatby the 2011-2012 school year all candidates for school administrator orteacher certification will be required to complete a program on harassment,intimidation, or bullying prevention, and training in this area and will be partof the professional development requirements for these individuals.

This handbook will help lay the foundation for teachers and administratorsin the area of bully prevention and will provide comprehensive tools forunderstanding, and reducing, the incidences of bullying. It providesinformation on the law, essays, strategies, and activities that will proveextremely beneficial in helping schools. It includes effective techniques thatcan be used by principals, counselors, school psychologists, social workers,teachers, and all other support staff that bring permanent help in reducing theepidemic of bullying in our schools and in society.

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Section One

Statistics, Essays, The Law,

Basic Information

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Anti Bullying Bill Of Rights

This is NOW the Law in New Jersey

Bullying Awareness and Prevention

Provides that training on harassment, intimidation, and bullying (HIB) bepart of the training required for public school teaching staff members insuicide prevention. The instruction is also required to include information onreducing the risk of suicide in students who are members of communitiesidentified as having members at high risk of suicide.

Provides that by the 2011-2012 school year all candidates for schooladministrator or teacher certification will be required to complete a programon harassment, intimidation, or bullying prevention, and that training in thisarea will be a part of the professional development requirements for theseindividuals.

Includes training regarding harassment, intimidation and bullying in schoolsas a part of the training program provided to all school board members.

Provides that the training course for safe schools resource officers andpublic school employees assigned by a board of education to serve as aschool liaison to law enforcement must include training in the protection ofstudents from harassment, intimidation, and bullying.

Requires school districts to establish bullying prevention programs orapproaches. Under current law school districts are only “encouraged” toestablish such programs.

Provides that each school district must form a school safety team in eachschool in the district to foster and maintain a positive school climate withinthe schools:

Consists of the principal or a senior administrator in the school and ateacher in the school, the school anti-bullying specialist, and other membersto be determined by the principal. The school anti-bullying specialist shallserve as the chair of the school safety team.

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The school safety team shall:

receive any complaints of HIB of students that have been reported tothe principal

receive copies of any report prepared after an investigation of anincident of HIB

identify and address patterns of HIB review and strengthen school climate and the policies of the school in

order to prevent HIB educate the community, including students, teachers, administrative

staff, and parents, to prevent and address HIB of students collaborate with the district anti-bullying coordinator in the collection

of district-wide data and in the development of district policies toprevent and address harassment, intimidation or bullying of students

Creates the “Bullying Prevention Fund” in the Department of Education tobe used to fund grants to school districts to provide training on harassment,intimidation, and bullying prevention and on effective means to create apositive school climate.

Designates the week beginning with the first Monday in October of eachyear as a “Week of Respect” and requires districts to observe the week byproviding age-appropriate instruction focusing on preventing harassment,intimidation or bullying.

Response to HIB and Enforcement of Appropriate Consequences

Amends the definition of “harassment, intimidation or bullying”: to specifythat the “harm” that a student may experience could be either physical oremotional; to add two additional criteria to the definition – the creation of ahostile environment at school and the infringement on the rights of thestudent at school; and to eliminate the requirement that the disruption orinterference with the orderly operation of the school be “substantial.”

Adds a conviction of “bias intimidation” to the list of crimes for which aperson may be disqualified for employment in a school.

Provides that the Department of Education, in consultation with theDivision on Civil Rights in the Department of Law and Public Safety, mustdevelop a guidance document for use by parents, students, and schooldistricts to assist in resolving complaints regarding harassment, intimidation,

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or bullying behaviors and concerning the implementation by school districtsof statutory requirements in this area.

Includes harassment, intimidation, and bullying in the types of conduct thatunder current statute may constitute good cause for suspension or expulsion.

Includes members of the school board in the list of individuals who may notengage in reprisals against victims or witnesses of acts of harassment,intimidation, or bullying and also in the list of those who are required toreport acts of harassment, intimidation, or bullying to appropriate officials inthe school district;

Provides that a school district’s policy on harassment, intimidation, andbullying must include appropriate responses to such actions that occur offschool grounds.

Provides a detailed procedure that must be included in each district’s policyconcerning the investigation of incidents of harassment, intimidation, orbullying.

Provides that a school employee or contracted service provider must file awritten report with the school principal within two days of observing orbeing made aware of an act of harassment, intimidation, or bullying.

Provides that the principal in each public school must appoint the currentlyemployed school guidance counselor, school psychologist or anothersimilarly trained individual as the school anti-bullying specialist. If there isno individual that meets these criteria employed in the school, the principalmust appoint another currently employed individual in the school to theposition of school anti-bullying specialist. The bill also sets forth theresponsibilities of school anti-bullying specialists:

Chair the school safety team Lead investigation of incidents Act as primary school official responsible for preventing, identifying,

and addressing incidents at school

Provides that the superintendent of schools in each school district mustappoint a district anti-bullying coordinator and sets forth the responsibilitiesof that individual:

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Responsible for coordinating and strengthening the school district’spolicies to prevent, identify, and address incidents

Collaborate with school anti-bullying specialists in the district, theboard of education, and the superintendent of schools to prevent,identify and respond to incidents

Provide data, in collaboration with the superintendent of schools, tothe Department of Education regarding harassment, intimidation, andbullying of students

· Require the addition of an anti-bullying policy and enforcement mechanismto the student code of conduct of every public college and university.

Accountability-Accountability of School, School District, and State ofNew Jersey

Provides that the Department of Education must establish a formal protocolto be used by the offices of the executive county superintendent of schools ininvestigating complaints that school districts are not adhering to theprovisions of law governing harassment, intimidation, or bullying in theschools.

Provides that a school administrator who fails to initiate or conduct aninvestigation of an incident, or who should have known of an incident andfails to take action, is subject to discipline.

Provides that the superintendent of schools must report to the board ofeducation twice a year, rather than annually, at a public hearing all acts ofviolence, vandalism and harassment, intimidation, or bullying whichoccurred during the previous period. The report shall be used to gradeschools and districts in their efforts to identify harassment, intimidation orbullying, pursuant to a program for which the commissioner will provideguidelines.

Include in the School Report Card data identifying the number and nature ofall reports of harassment, intimidation or bullying.

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Bullying Behavior: Behavior That No One Forgets

I speak to teachers all over New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, andVirginia so I was thrilled when I got a call from my hometown schooldistrict, and they asked me to do a workshop for their teachers. Some of theteachers I had when I was a student were still there, and it was a lot of funfor me to be teaching them something. The topic that they asked me to speakabout was “Student Behavior Management.” I started to talk about bullyingwhich is a significant part of behavior management today, and what animpact this horrible behavior can have on the school climate, individualclassrooms, students, teachers, and even the community where the studentslive. When I gave the group a break one of the teachers in the audience cameup to me and said, “When we were kids, you and I were both bullied byTommy.” I looked at him and realized that he was the cousin of two boysthat I played with when I was in elementary school. One of those wasTommy, who had bullied me. As soon as he mentioned Tommy and the factthat I was bullied by this boy I automatically started to look around to see ifTommy was there, even though I knew he probably wasn’t. This youngteacher shared with me that even though Tommy was his cousin, Tommyhad bullied him. He told me that his cousin used to hold him under water,push him, shove him, slap him, and to sum it all up, terrorize him. Both of usagreed that we were still scared to death of him, even though we were grownmen. We talked about how he had been much bigger than we were and usedhis size to intimidate and frighten us. The part of our conversation thatconcerned me the most was that even after more than 30 years we both stillremembered that Tommy had bullied us; we still had the experience ofbeing bullied tucked away somewhere in our minds.

It is no surprise to me that bullying has gotten worse over the years. Bullyinghas gotten so bad that the government has had to step in and make itmandatory that programs be created to stop bullying in our schools and insociety. Not all people understand this behavior, and some people don’t evenrealize what bullying actually is. Many people don’t understand how theycontribute to the continuation of the behavior, and in their own way make itworse. What is bullying? Bullying among children is most commonlydefined as intentional, repeated, hurtful acts, words, or other behavior suchas name calling, threatening, and/or shunning committed by one or morechildren against another. These negative acts are not intentionally provokedby the victims, and to be defined as bullying, an imbalance in real orperceived power must exist between the bully and the victim. Bullying may

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be physical, verbal, emotional, or relational. Bullying interferes withlearning. In schools, acts of bullying usually occur away from the eyes of theteacher or responsible adults, consequently, if the bully goes unpunished, aclimate of fear envelopes the victims. A comprehensive approach to bullyingis necessary. Many children and adults seriously underestimate the effects ofbullying and the harm that it causes the victims. Educators, parents, andchildren concerned with violence prevention should be concerned with thephenomenon of bullying because it is linked to more violent behavior.

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Bullying Definition – Bullying is when a stronger, morepowerful person hurts or frightens a smaller or weakerperson deliberately (on purpose) and repeatedly (again andagain). Allan L. Beane; “The Bully Free Classroom”

This definition includes three important components:

Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves unwanted, negative actions.Bullying involves a pattern of behavior repeated over time.Bullying involves an imbalance of power or strength.

The Severity of BullyingBullying behaviors can be mild, moderate, or severe, depending on thepower differences between the bully and victim, the chronicity of aggressivebehaviors, the emotional stability of the victim, and environmental supportsavailable to the victim. Significantly, it is the victim who determines if thebehaviors are threatening or bullying and judges their severity. The tablebelow outlines the types of bullying and attempts to categorize them byseverity. Remember, any bullying behavior can be severe. Teens willalways need adult help with moderate and severe bullying. Keeping thesecategories in mind can help adults decide when it is necessary to intervene,regardless of the desires of the teen.

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Bullying Behaviors

P HY S IC AL AG G R E S S ION

VE R B AL AG G R E S S ION

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INTIMIDATION

S OC IAL AL IE NAT ION

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Bullying Statistics

1. 60% of middle school students say that they have been bullied, while16% of staff believes that students are bullied.

2. 160,000 students stay home from school everyday due to bullying.(NEA)

3. 30% of students who reported they had been bullied said they had attimes brought weapons to school.

4. A bully is 6 times more likely to be incarcerated by the age of 24.

5. A bully is 5 times more likely to have a serious criminal record whenhe grows up.

6. 2/3 of students who are targets become bullies.

7. 20% of all children say they have been bullied.

8. 20% of high school students say they have seriously consideredsuicide with the last 12 months.

9. 25% of students say that teachers intervened in bullying incidentswhile 71% of teachers say they intervened.

10.The average child has watched 8,000 televised murders and 100,000acts of violence before finishing elementary school.

11.In schools where there are bullying programs bullying is reduced by50%.

12.Bullying was a factor in 2/3 of the 37 school shootings reviewed bythe US Secret Service.

13.According to the National Institute of Occupational Safety Health(NIOSH) (Sauter, et al.,1990), there is a loss of employment

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amounting to $19 billion and a drop in productivity of $3 billion dueto workplace bullying.

14.Law enforcement costs related to bullying enormous. Since 1999, theOffice on Violence against Women (OVW) has spent $98 million inassistance to address campus sexual violence.

Bullying Myths

Bullying is an Isolated, Individual Aggressive Action – Bullying isnot an isolated aggressive action. In fact, bullying/victimizationproblems are influenced by peers, families, schools, and communities.

Bullying Occurs Between a Bully and a Victim – Bullying is adynamic social relationship problem and many youth move in and outof various roles.

Anti-Bullying Polices are Ineffective – If Anti-Bullying policies arenot mandated many school districts do not willingly develop andadopt Anti-Bullying polices which create awareness and lay thefoundation for lasting societal change.

It’s Impossible to Stop Bullying – When there is positive adultleadership in schools, positive student leadership, and healthyrelationships there is less bullying.

Bullying Prevention and Intervention are Complicated andExpensive – The development of healthy social relationships is free.Strategies don’t have to be expensive and should simply be basedupon the golden rule.

Physical Bullying is More Damaging than Relational or VerbalBullying – Sticks and Stones may Break my Bones but Words willNever Hurt Me is Untrue. With cyber bullying on the rise VerbalBullying can go undetected, maybe for years.

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Figuring out How to evaluate Anti-Bullying Efforts is tooComplicated – Statistical Reviews can be performed at any level todetermine the effect of any program. It is done with student test scoreson a regular basis in schools.

Other Myths

No Bullying Here/No Gangs Here – Schools and communitiesthat deny the possibility or presence are where you are MOSTlikely to find both flourishing in anonymity.

Right of Passage - Adults believe that since they went through“bullying or were also in gangs that it is a normal stage thatkids must go through.

They Are Tough - Gang members and bullies are weak, andcowardly and when they are without a victim to bully have lowself esteem.

They are Popular – They are surrounded by people notbecause of popularity but fear.

Small Communities are Immune – Small communities thinkthey are immune; they are more likely to have higherbully/gang victimization rates. Gangs find the suburbs alucrative alternative to the cities where competition cuts into theprofits.

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Children need to understand the difference between tattling and responsible reporting.Students who are involved in teasing may unknowingly be bullying as well. At a youngage children have a hard time determining teasing from bullying. Bullying involves animbalance of power. Teasing may be two sided. Understanding this can help teachersfrom having to manage situations that may not involve bullying.

"Tattling is when you tell to get someone into trouble and you tell in frontof others.

Responsible reporting is when you talk to an adult to get someone out oftrouble and you talk with the adult in private."

It may be that a change in terminology is needed. Rather than use the term"reporting," perhaps we should be using the term "action" and stress that it isimportant for children to talk with an adult if they are concerned aboutbullying, whether or not they are the child being bullied. Perhaps thefollowing could replace above:

"Tattling is when you tell to get someone into trouble and you tell in frontof others.

Responsible action is when you talk with an adult if you are concernedabout bullying or want to get someone out of trouble, and you talk with anadult in private."

Perhaps this changed terminology and the focus on "talking" will help toalleviate the fear and stigma associated with reporting.

Strategies for Classroom Use

Have a "Something’s Bothering Me Box" in the class. This gives studentsan anonymous way of reporting bullying incidents (or any other concernsthey may have), especially at the beginning of the year when trust might notyet be established. Set aside time to discuss issues as a class (withoutnaming names) or with individuals as required. As all teachers know,positive reinforcement is almost always more successful than negativereinforcement in curbing students’ "bad" behavior. Create opportunities forstudents to have their acts of kindness and respect reported and rewarded.

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Next to the "Something’s Bothering Me Box", have a "ReportingRespect Box" for students to share respectful things they did or saw othersdoing. Perhaps they stood up for themselves assertively but calmly in theface of a student who bullies. Perhaps they came to the aid of anotherstudent who was hurt or needed help. Perhaps they told a student who wasbullying to leave that person alone. Take time each week to read respectreports with your students. Talk about other positive things the studentscould do in the incidents being discussed. Discuss things they might havedone that would only have made matters worse. (15 minutes)

Creating a Safe Learning Environment

Read the essay below, “The Relationship Connection.” This essay gives abrief explanation of how the brain works, and how the primary responsibilityof the brain is survival of its owner. A student who is being bullied spendsthe majority of his time focused on being bullied, and has a hard timefocusing on learning. After reading the essay, study the illustration of thebrain. The interventions that follow help can create a safer learningenvironment for students who are bullies and for students who are victims.

The Relationship Connection

Two teachers were talking in the hall sharing information aboutsome of their more challenging students. “I don’t know,” saidone teacher “I have tried everything with Tom and nothingworks, behavior modification, extra gym time, phone callshome, parent conferences, restrictions and rewards, it almostseems useless.” The other teacher responded, “Tom, he is oneof my better student’s. I have very little difficulty with him atall.”

This sounds like a familiar scenario. But, why is it that someteachers have all kinds of problems with one student whileothers who have the same student have little or no trouble at all.In order to completely understand this problem it is helpful ifwe understand the how our brain is wired. If we were to take across section of the brain we would discover that the top part ofthe brain is where we do most of our higher order thinking andwhere we process information. The middle part of the brain

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called the limbic system is where our emotions are located. Ourmind and will is located there. The bottom part of the brain, thestem is where we go for survival. When we are under emotionalstress our first response is to survive. The two basic methodsfor survival are to either attack or to escape. In getting a visualimage of what I’m talking refer to the diagram of the brainlocated below, and notice that all incoming information has topass through the emotions in order to be processed by the neo-cortex where all higher order thinking and learning takes place.

So, if I were to say to you “When are you going to get thisinformation right?” “I am so sick and tired of explaining this toyou, what are you dense or something?” Your natural tendencyis to survive and you emotionally will either escape or attack.Children and adults who escape usually have clinical problemsand are your students who are constantly late, sleep at the desk,chronically absent and may have substance problems. Thesestudents need to be watched carefully. In education the squeakywheel gets the grease. We may not even be aware of thesestudents until an event occurs that is catastrophic in nature suchas suicide or even worse a violent incidence that could impactlives for generations to come. Students who have the attackmentality are more argumentative, disrespectful, and non-compliant. They are always in school and are looking for avictim that they can take their anger out on. It could be theperson in charge or another weaker student. (Bully/Victim) Thisstudent spends a lot of time in the Vice-Principal’s office, hasproblems in the community and with the police.

The key to working with both of these students is to understandwhat qualities they need to develop in their life that will makethem successful adults. The student who escapes needs todevelop responsibility, the student who attacks needs to developrespect. In order to achieve the desired behavior from either ofthese students they must be taught to comply with the rules ofthe system that they are in.

The one thing that is in common with both of these studentsis that when a relationship is established with them they willcomply at a more frequent rate and will display a respectful

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and responsible attitude when the person they are workingwith understands them as individuals. The order of the dayis to realize that there are bricks in the wall of the limbicsystem that were put there by other adults who respondedto them in a reactive and angry way.

Our goal is to remove the bricks and develop a trustingrelationship. Behavior modification is an excellent extrinsicstructure but teaches students to behave in an adult’s presencenot in their absence. Our aim is to develop an intrinsicmechanism that changes the child’s attitude and helps him/herdevelop a value system with standards that he/she will be ableto sustain as an adult.

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BRICKS IN THEWALL

Neo-Cortex Higher

Order thinking

Limbic System –Mind Will Emotions

Brain Stem

Bricks in the Wall

All incoming information mustpass through the emotionsbefore it can reach the neo-cortex for processing.

As the brain is placed under stress the need for survival becomes greater.It then downshifts into the stem. There are only two ways it can survive ------ FIGHT OR FLIGHT. A person with the FIGHT mentality will developconduct problems. A person with the FLIGHT mentality develops clinicalproblems. Conduct problems require respect, Clinical problems requireresponsibility

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How to Build a Powerful Relationship With Your Students

Praise character, not achievement.In many families today, love is performance based. Build self acceptance byrecognizing those qualities in your students that can’t be changed. Recognize thepositives in his/her personality.

Keep promisesMany children today have lost complete trust in adults becausethey have lied or disappointed them.

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Keep things clearTeach your students what it takes to please you and recognize itwhen they do it. Self-Acceptance is developed by being recognized fordoing the right thing.

Be sincere and honestOffer constructive feedback for the student and referencespecific positive behaviors demonstrated by the student asalternatives for the student to use in the future.

Never say no if you can say yesIf a request is reasonable allow it. Don’t say no just on a whim.

Say good morning, afternoon, or eveningThis builds communication skills.

Call by name – No nicknames or derogatory remarks.

Offer genuine appreciation for things that are accomplishedand for the initiation of compliance.

“I noticed you were really trying to control yourself whenJohn was picking on you. Good job!”

Attend Events if possible. Let the students see you in a different light.

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Have a two-minute conversation with your students like youmight with a friend. Try this, every day for 10-days straightconverse with your students and offer no advice or correction. Atthe end of the 10 days they will look to you for more conversation.It works. This is called the 2 by 10.

Dialogue Journal – Teacher initiated. This is a more private andextended version of the 2 by 10

Practicing Effective Listening Skills

Because bullies are anti-social, they have no regard for the emotions of theirvictim and lack the necessary empathy that is required to form meaningfulrelationships. There is a difference between listening for content andpracticing effective listening skills. We all need to develop good listeningskills and really gain an understanding of what someone is saying when theyspeak to us. At times bullies experience a cognitive bias and don’t alwaysinterpret what is being said correctly and can become defensive and act outon their victims, and authority.

Ignoring – Basically being present physically with your mind onsomething else. The speaker is not aware of this but; the listener mayhave no memory of the conversation.

Pretend Listening – This is something that a person may do whenthey want to get off the phone with someone and the other personcontinues to talk. The listener usually responds with statements like;Right, right, yeah, got it.

Selective Listening – This is usually what is done with a three yearold child. The premise here is if the listener paid attention toeverything that was said they would spend all of their time listening.So they only listen when there is some time of critical informationbeing shared.

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Attentive Listening – The listener attend to the speaker with theirears, eyes, and body. They hear clearly but may not understand whatis truly being said.

Empathic Listening – The listener pays attention with their ears,eyes, body, and mind and can truly understand the emotions of theconversation. This can also be called active listening or reflectivelistening and is a way of listening and responding to another personthat improves mutual understanding and trust. It is an essential skill forthird parties and disputants alike, as it enables the listener to receive andaccurately interpret the speaker's message, and then provide an appropriateresponse.

Research suggests that bullies have high self esteem; when they are bullyingsomeone. Once the bully loses his victim his self esteem drops, and he againlooks for someone else to hurt. Finding strategies that will increase thebullies self esteem without bullying is critical if he/she is going to besuccessful. Dr. Linda Albert in Cooperative Discipline suggests that allstudents need to feel as though they are capable, they are connected,and that they are contributing members of a family, school, or group.How can you as the teacher help students feel more capable, connected, andcontributing members of the class and the school at large?

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Do Bullies Have Low Self Esteem?

Psychologists used to believe that bullies have low self-esteem,and put down other people to feel better about themselves.While many bullies are themselves bullied at home or at school,new research shows that most bullies actually have excellentself-esteem. Bullies usually have a sense of entitlement andsuperiority over others, and lack compassion, impulse controland social skills. They enjoy being cruel to others andsometimes use bullying as an anger management tool, the way anormally angry person would punch a pillow. Research doessupport the fact that bullies have low empathy, and don’t knowhow it feels to be in someone else’s shoes.

A bully is motivated by power. He/she is very clever and canvictimize anyone. He likes controlling other students, andsometimes likes controlling his/her parents and teachers as well.As long as the bully is able to manipulate another person or asituation, his/her self-esteem remains high. Once a bully losescontrol of their victim, or realizes that they can’t manipulatesituations to their liking they begin to experience problems withtheir self esteem and they will then seek out other people tomanipulate and control to raise their self-esteem. It almostbecomes an emotional fix that they need in order to feel goodabout themselves.

Intervention programs usually work to help the victim, andrightly so, the victim needs assistance in dealing with theperson who is bullying them. In working with the bully we needto help the bully find things that will help him keep a consistentself-esteem index. Everyone has ups and downs in life, andbullies should experience the same ebbs and flows that areassociated with becoming an adult. A bully’s self esteem cannotbe based on how they treat others. If clear lines are not drawnand the bully is allowed to continue his behavior withoutconsequence we are doing nothing more than prepare him forprison.

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Cyber Bullying

Cyber bullying is a growing threat that has experienced a rise in notorietydue to the fact that it often targets school kids. A Cyber Bully useselectronic means, often via social networking sites, to threaten or intimidateor harass others. The use of cell phones as a means of Cyber Bullying hasalso become a popular method for cyber harassment, and with the growinguse of cell phones by middle school students and younger, this form ofCyber Crime is no longer limited to instant messaging, Internet or onlineforums where younger children can be found (i.e. multiplayer video gameforums accessible through video game consoles such as XBox et. al.)

Cyber stalking, another form of cyber - harassment, is a term that iscommonly used alongside cyber bullying. The term cyber bullyingcommonly is associated with children, while cyber stalking is usually usedto describe cyber harassment experienced by adults. Using the twosynonymously creates the danger of minimizing cyber bullying, althougheither threat can lead to tragic outcomes.

Victims who fall prey to cyber bullies typically experience ridiculefashioned in a manner meant to publicize the harassment. The 2006 suicideof Megan Meier was a result of comments, some public, made against her onMySpace. The emotional response to public humiliation, the power yieldedby cyber bullies, and youth perception that anything published on theInternet is accessible by the “whole world” can easily sway an imbalance inyouth response to this type of Cyber Crime.

Compounding the concern over the reaction of kids to cyber bullying is thefact that children typically are not eager to discuss these issues with theirparents. The humiliation and fear that follow cyber bullying, especially withschool students, can prevent them from discussing these issues or even theirown experiences with their parents. With that in mind it is critical thatteachers learn and completely understand this threat, and learn how to havemeaningful and productive conversations with their students about thisthreat.

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Societies Morality Can’t Keep Up With Technology

A student is accused of posing as a girl on Facebook, tricking at least 31male classmates into sending him naked photos of themselves and thenblackmailing some for sex acts. Anthony Stancl, 18, of New Berlin, west ofMilwaukee, was charged with five counts of child enticement, two counts ofsecond-degree sexual assault of a child, two counts of third-degree sexualassault, possession of child pornography, repeated sexual assault of the samechild and making a bomb threat. A survey of 1,280 teenagers (users age 13-19) and young adults (age 20-26) conducted by the National Campaign toPrevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and CosmoGirl.com has revealedthat one out of five (20 percent) teens overall have posted nude photos orvideo of themselves on the Internet-that number goes up to a third whenyoung adults are included. While 71 percent of teen girls and 67 percent ofteen guys who have sent these photos say they've sent them to a boyfriend orgirlfriend, 15 percent overall said they've sent nude photos to people theyonly "knew" online. For women, that percentage stays the same when theyturn into young adults, although the percentage of young adult men goes upto 23 percent.

This is just another example of what society developed for good, deviantminds have used for criminal, and immoral purposes. What is the problem?Is it to difficult for individuals to enjoy the tools of convenience withouttrying to figure out how to use it to satisfy their own immoral appetites? Ibelieve that speed and the lack of impulse control plays a big part in whythese acts occur on a regular basis today. The speed of text messaging, andsending emails and pictures from a cell phone, combined with the poorimpulse control on the part of deviant individuals creates an environmentwhere people can say and send anything they want to another person, thingsthat they wouldn't say in person like "do you want to screw," or do in person,like getting naked.

I am 55 years old, 40 years ago if I or anyone of my friends wanted to takeand send nude pictures of ourselves or anyone else (By the way we neverdid) we would have to live with the embarrassment of having these picturesdeveloped by a photographer. In order for a picture to be taken it needed twothings, a subject and a photographer. No teenage girls were going to taketheir clothes off for some sex crazed boy and let him take her picture. Any

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pictures that were taken of anyone, and I mean clothed usually required afive day period for development. Everyone had time to think. It wasn't aseasy as hitting the send key.

Once the send key is hit everyone has a record of what was sent, a recordthat will last a lifetime, and probably create a lifetime of misery. Society'sstagnant morality just can't seem to keep up with the rapidly movingtechnology. We haven't figured out how to use our new toys and are alwayslooking for ways to use these things to self destruct or to ruin the reputationof another person. When I was a kid I was told, never write a letter, and tonever through away a letter. I understand this now better than ever. At least40 years ago if I wrote a letter I could decide if I wanted to mail it off. If itwas written in anger I could think about it and allow my impulses to calmdown. If someone sent me a letter that was less than friendly I had apermanent record of that person's thoughts of me.

Today people just don't think, they get a thought, no matter where they areand immediately begin to text someone and begin to berate another personwithout even giving it a second thought. It is just as easy as hitting the sendkey. Below is an article I wrote a while back about how this type of selfishand uncontrollable behavior affected an evening that I was spending with mydaughter Sarah. It is living proof how texting if not used correctly can ruinand day, and evening, or a life. Thank God things worked out, but rememberit all started with an impulsive text message. I left in my advice for those ofyou who have children who could be impacted by such insensitivity byothers.******************Many years ago when my oldest daughter Sarah was about 4 years old agood friend of mine told me that girls were easier to raise than boys. Wellmy oldest daughter is now 20 years old and I still haven't figured it out yet.One thing I do know is that I hate to see my daughter upset. I don't meanmildly upset, that just goes with being a teenager, but upset to the point oftears. This happened to me one night when my daughter was 17. Shereceived a text message from one of her friends. The text message said thatshe wanted to talk to her about something. Sarah couldn't get in touch withthe girl that sent the text so she called another one of the girls in this group.She has been friend with 4 girls for about the last two years. These girls dideverything together. Hang out mostly as Sarah calls it. They went to partiestogether, studied together, drove to school together, and yes, they got intotrouble once in a while together.

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When she called one of the girls up the girl told Sarah that all four girls wereupset with her because they were starting to view her as being selfish, andannoying. My daughter was blindsided by this information and really didn'tknow what to say. She didn't even know what they were talking about. Iasked her if she thought this information was true. She told me no. I thenasked her if she thought she might have a couple of blind spots and the girlswere possibly seeing something in her that she just didn't see in herself. Shesaid no, and I must say did a pretty convincing job backing up what she toldme. The question is this; how do you as a dad offer a teenage daughteradvice in situations like these? I am no expert but, I believe that I did apretty good job based upon the outcome.

Teenage girls always seem to like to be connected to some group outsidetheir family. Teenage boys like the connection also, but a boy's connection isusually with some type of sports team, or club. Girls like to be connected toeach other. The longer this connection lasts the greater the chance that theirweaknesses will be exposed, and for sure they will start engaging in rumors,and gossiping about one another. Girls also tend to become more jealous inthese relationships if a boy becomes involved in this mix. Once one of thegirls has an opinion about someone else in their group they will bend overbackward to try and convince the other members of the group that it is true.They will even search for the evidence to prove their point. This behaviorbecomes crushing and emotionally painful to the girl who is being gangedup on, as was the case with my daughter.

What can you do when your daughter confides in you enough to tell youwhat is going on? First, listen, and I mean listen well. Find out all the factsand please don't react or condemn your daughter. Don't say to her you betterchange your ways. If you are condemning her it's a good chance that that'sthe reason why she looking for connections outside the family. The nextthing is to love her to death with your actions and words. My comment tomy daughter was, I like everything about you. I like how you talk and howyou act. Help her understand that you are her biggest fan. Let her know thatshe doesn't have to apologize for something that she truly believes she is notguilty of. I mean are these girls the only one with an opinion. Of course ifshe feels as if she has done something to offend someone apologize, andmove on.

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Tell your daughter that long term relationships give everyone an opportunityto show their true colors. These relationships may be nice at first, but thelonger that a person is in them the greater the chance that the true characterof someone will pop up. That's when a person has to decide if they want tostay friends with someone who is not a very loyal friend. Tell your daughterto stand tall, hold her head up, and don't let them see you cry, and that youwill be there to help her do all of these.

Adolescent relationships are a growth process. There is pain that can comefrom being hurt by a so called friend. Guess what by the time your daughteris 22 she will have the savvy to manage this type of crap and she won't beemotionally immature when it comes down to relationships. All friendshipsare not intimate, and by that I mean a relationship that involves a person'sheart, mind, and soul. The relationships that your daughter has with someonein high school might be viewed by her as intimate. Relationships have acontinuum that go from, acquaintance, friend, close friend, and then intimatefriend. An intimate friend is usually someone that is a life long friend.

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Cyber Bullying Vocabulary

The following are tactics used by cyber bullies against their targets:

Bashing – Using the Internet to make contact and commit directverbal or visual attacks at any time. Cyber bullies may postcomments on blogs or send text messages from a phone. They mayalso take photos of targets or steal a photo from an online source toalter images in damaging ways or add cruel or derogatory commentsand post them online for others to see. One very concerning trend isthe videoing of students being beaten, and then having these posted onvideo sharing sites.

Exclusion – Being excluded from participating in online activitieswith their peers, which can bring on feelings of rejection. Exclusionmay occur in an online gaming environment, group bloggingenvironment, or any other password-protected community. Exclusionmay also occur in an instant messaging or text messaging environmentwhen a cyber bully pointedly excludes their target from the buddy listof a group of students.

Flaming – A heated, short-lived argument that often includesoffensive, rude, and vulgar language, insults and sometimes threats.Flaming can occur via text or instant messaging, in blogs of socialnetworking sites, chat rooms, discussion boards, or online gamingsites.

Outing –Disclosing secrets or personal and private information aboutthe target that embarrasses or humiliates him or her. A common wayto “out” someone is to forward a message from the target that containsintimate, personal information to others.

Posing – A form of indirect attack where a cyber bully creates Websites pretending to be the target, or, using the target’s user accessinformation, posts defamatory comments on other sites; when thecyber bully pretends to be the target and says mean things about thetarget’s friends, it can cause those friends to reject them.

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Cyber Bullying Statistics

42% of kids have been bullied while online. 1 in 4 have had it happenmore than once.

35% of kids have been threatened online. Nearly 1 in 5 have had ithappen more than once.

21% of kids have received mean or threatening e-mail or othermessages.

58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to themonline. More than 4 out of 10 say it has happened more than once.

53% of kids admit having said something mean or hurtful to anotherperson online. More than 1 in 3 have done it more than once.

58% have not told their parents or an adult about something mean orhurtful that happened to them online.

The vast difference between bullying and cyber bullying is that childrenhave to go to school. But, if they are being bullied there are measures theycan take to stay home e.g. play sick, or the best case scenario report theincident and have his/her parent come into school to speak to the teacher oradministration. Cyber bullying can occur at home with the child having nomeans of escaping the attack.

BULLYING CYBER BULLYINGA bully says something nasty andit’s only heard when he/she says it.

A cyber bully can say something online and it can be accessed practicallyforever.

The bully makes him or herselfknown to the victim.

The cyber bully may be unknown

The primary bully is usuallyphysically stronger.

The cyber bully may be physicallyweaker.

Bullies are usually limited toattacking certain hours during theday.

The cyber bully can attack at anytime.

Often bullies attack face to face. The cyber bully can attack secretly.In most physical bullying attacksthere are relatively few witnesses.

The cyber bully’s attack can beviewed by the world.

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Cyber bullying – The School’s Role

What is the school's role in this?

When schools try and get involved by disciplining a student for cyberbullying actions that took place off-campus and outside of school hours, theyare often sued for exceeding their authority and violating the student's freespeech right. They also often lose. Schools can be very effective brokers inworking with the parents to stop and remedy cyber bullying situations. Theycan also educate the students on cyber ethics and the law. If schools arecreative, they can sometimes avoid the claim that their actions exceededtheir legal authority for off-campus cyber bullying actions. It isrecommended that a provision be added to the school's acceptable use policyreserving the right to discipline the student for actions taken off-campus ifthey are intended to have an effect on a student or they adversely affect thesafety and well-being of a student while in school. This makes it acontractual issue, not a constitutional issue.

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Why Are Having Relevant andConsistent Consequences So Important?

Bullying is an anti social behavior and it usually cannot be managed withsome of the more traditional methods of classroom or school discipline likedetention or suspension. Research does support the fact that punishmentdoes not work. Students who are anti social and who do bully lack empathyand have very little regard for the rights and privileges of another person.Anti social behavior is defined as:

A condition characterized by repetitive behavioral patterns that arecontrary to usual moral and ethical standards and cause a person toexperience continuous conflict with society. Symptoms includeaggression, callousness, impulsiveness, irresponsibility, hostility, alow frustration level, marked emotional immaturity, and poorjudgment. A person who has this disorder overlooks the rights ofothers, is incapable of loyalty to others or to social values, is unableto experience guilt or to learn from past behaviors, is impervious topunishment, and tends to rationalize his or her behavior or to blameit on others.

Realistically bullies lack a conscience and in a sense it is very difficult togrow a conscience. (A CONSCIENCE CAN BE FORMED OVER TIMEBUT CANNOT BE DEVELOPED IMMEDIATELY?) It is possible thoughto create consequential thinking. This merely means that the childunderstands that they will lose something of real value or “consequence” bycontinuing their behavior, in this case bullying. A child looks at life fromtwo points of view when they consider their behavior and measures the cost- what am I going to gain and what am I going to lose. If the consequence isnot perceived in terms of being a meaningful loss, then there will be noincentive in the future for the child to stop the negative behavior of bullying.

The consequence must be imposed consistently and fairly to all, no matterwho the child is. It is sometimes very difficult to impose consequenceswhen one is dealing with either students who are typically “the good kids” ortypically “the really bad kids.” Teachers can feel hesitant about imposingconsequences on the “good kids” because they may have developed such apositive relationship with them that it becomes too difficult to disciplinethem. It may be very difficult to impose consequences on bullies because attimes teachers can feel intimidated or even “bullied” by them into a form of

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submission. Unfortunately, it becomes easier to ignore behaviors thatteachers are cognizant they shouldn’t be ignoring. Teachers may be worriedabout a potential negative reaction from the bully if we call him/her on thebehavior so they may look the other way. When they look the other way, itbecomes extremely obvious to others including the victim and anybystanders. What actually happens in this instance is the teacher is becomingan unwitting bystander or collaborator. The hurtful behavior will not changeand may in fact become worse. Teacher’s who are in a position of authorityin a sense may be giving the bully permission to continue. In a worse casescenario the teacher may actually blame the victim rather than the bully.Teachers must become very aware of their own weaknesses; insure that goodjudgment prevails, and that they are strong enough to be fair.

Helping the BullyA. Respect young peoples’ Autonomy. We can’t make them change. Wecan increase the cost of their existing behavior by following throughconsistently with consequences. We can build supportive relationships sothey want to be contributing members of the school. We can recognize theirpositive actions. They will choose their behavior; we can help them see theyhave a choice and help them find the best choices for themselves.

B. Maintain young peoples’ sense of Belonging. When we welcome youthto school each day; when we build mentoring relationships; whenconsequences are seen as being earned instead of being given in anger orrejection; when we avoid taking their misbehavior personally; and when wemaintain positive feeling tone in the discipline process, young people aremore likely take responsibility for negative behaviors and to change.

C. Teach Cause and effect thinking and promote consciencedevelopment. We help young people see the connections between what theydo and what happens to them through using predictable, transparent,consistent discipline approaches. We can use praise to help them connecttheir positive behavior with positive outcomes. We can help them discoverthe positive and negative effects of their actions on others throughobservation and reflection. We can use questions instead of statementswhenever possible so young people learn to think about their own goals andabout their behavior.

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Understanding Normal Peer Conflict and Acts of Bullying

NORMAL PEER CONFLICT BULLYINGEqual Power or Friends Imbalance of Power; Not FriendsHappens Occasionally Repeated Negative Actions

Accidental PurposefulNot Serious Serious With a Threat of Physical

or Emotional HarmEqual Emotional Reaction Strong Emotional Reaction From

Victim and Little or No EmotionalReaction From Bully

Not Seeking Power or Attention Seeking Power, Control orMaterial Things

Not Trying to Get Something Attempt to Gain Material Thingsor Power

Remorse-Will Take Responsibility No Remorse-Blames VictimEffort to Solve the Problem No Effort to Solve Problem

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Sample Consequence Your School May Adoptfor Confirmed Bullying Incidents

The consequences you decide upon must be communicated clearly,posted visibly and sent home to parents

A letter of apology to be written by the perpetrator to victim.

Perpetrator must make a contribution in some positive way to his/hervictim.

Morning or afternoon school detention, suspension, Saturday school,in-school suspension.

Possible reporting of incident to parents (of bully and victim) orpolice with possible charges filed and police report filed,

Removal or suspension from sports teams, band, chorus, forensics,etc. for a minimum of 30 days. For example even if the student is onthe football team, and the incident occurs before or during footballseason, student will be suspended from the team for a minimum of 30days.

Student is barred from going on a planned upcoming field trip.

Student is barred from attending an upcoming classroom party such asa Halloween party, or other holiday party. Instead a student must go tothe office or another classroom during party time.

Student is barred from prom.

If the action is bad enough the student is barred from end of yearactivities.

Mandatory parental supervision of child, in the school everyday forone week.

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Crisis Planning

Bully Prevention requires planning and the use of many interventions.The interventions used help provide a classroom environment that is safeand conducive to learning. As teachers we all need to step up and be moreaware of the things that go on around us and be ready with a response whenwe observe a bullying event. We should always remember that if we see it orhear it we own it; and we own it until we can transfer it to another person orget the required help to solve the problem. With this in mind direct bullyingthat is observed by the teacher must be dealt with immediately and requires acrisis response.

Read the scenario below and then come up with an immediate action thatthat could be taken. Remember this is bullying that was observed by theteacher and possibly other students in the class.

As John is walking down the isle and is returning to his seat he hoversover a weaker student points his finger in his face, threatens him, flipshis nose, and knocks books off of his desk. He then proceeds to return tohis seat. John doesn’t know that he is being watched, but he is by youthe teacher. What will be your response to this situation? Rememberyou saw it, you heard it, YOU OWN IT.

Teacher Response to the Incident

Ask to see John outside the room. Do not tell John to leave the room.Demanding that John leave the room only assumes that John will leavecooperatively. It is important to have a buddy system with teachers in otherclasses where you can place a student who has been removed from yourroom. Once you have John outside the room speak to him briefly about whatyou observed. Then place him in another classroom until you can determinewhat you are going to do with him in terms of consequence. Come back intothe room alone. The class will see you return without John and assume thatat that point something has happened. In reality John was removed and youhave not yet determined your consequence. The class observes that you haveresponded immediately to the situation.

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Section TwoInterventions, Expectations,Character Education, and

Parents

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Five Interventions

The Traditional Method Mediation Restorative Practices the Support Group Method Strengthening The Victim

Scenario

A 13 year old student is being repeatedly teased and called unpleasantnames by another, more powerful, student who has successfullypersuaded other students to avoid the targeted person as much aspossible. There is also evidence that the targeted student has beenreceiving threatening and abusive text messages instigated by theperson who has been identified as the ‘bully.’ As a result, the victim ofthis behavior is feeling angry, miserable, and often isolated. Knowledgeof what has been happening has come to the attention of the school anda teacher or counselor has undertaken to deal with this case.

Application of The Traditional Disciplinary Method

Read the case above and make an application to the traditional approach.The guidelines below will help.

Teachers’ Instructions

1. Begin by making it clear that you know what has been happening andthat it constitutes bullying – and is ‘completely unacceptable in thisschool.’

2. Ask the student what he/she has to say about it. (But do not accept anyexcuses)

3. Point out that there are school rules against such behavior and studentswho engage in bullying others MUST FACE CONSEQUENCES.

4. State the nature of the consequences that will be applied. (Make it up)

5. Stress what will happen next if the bullying continues. (I will call home)

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Under what circumstances would this approach – or one like it –would be justified?

Note that applications of this approach vary with some authorities advocatingpreliminary discussions with classes about how students should treat each other andserious talks with the parents of students who engage in bullying. Consequences areseen as necessary, in part because they send a message to all students that bullying willnot be tolerated. Some 75% of teachers around the world approve of this approach, yetthe evidence does not suggest that it is usually effective in preventing bullying fromcontinuing.

Mediation

Mediation can occur when two students (for example ‘bully’ and‘victim’ agree to seek help from a mediator, a teacher or trainedpeer mediator, to resolve the issue that is causing the conflict.Research supports that fact that mediation does not work. This willbe covered at a later point in the handbook.

The assumption here is that both the bully and the victimare prepared to come – without compulsion – to a mediation session.

1. The mediator asks each of the students in turn to explain the situationas he/she sees it.

2. The other student is required to listen without interrupting and, at theend, to summarize what has been said – to the satisfaction of thespeaker.

3. Each is then asked to make suggestions as to how the issue might beresolved. The mediator records each suggestion without unnecessarycomment.

4. Each suggestion is listed, then examined, and discussed to discoverwhich once they agree will resolve the conflict.

Under what circumstances might this approach work, or not work?

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Conflict Resolution and Peer Mediation

Conflict resolution and peer mediation are common strategies for dealingwith conflicts among students. Many schools also use peer mediation andconflict resolution to address bullying problems, but this is notrecommended. Why?

• Bullying is a form of victimization, not conflict. It is no more a “conflict”than are child abuse or domestic violence.

• Mediating a bullying incident may send inappropriate messages to thestudents who are involved (such as, “You are both partly right and partlywrong,” or “We need to work out this conflict between you”). Theappropriate message to the child who is bullied should be, “No one deservesto be bullied, and we are going to do everything we can to stop it.” Themessage for children who bully should be, “Your behavior is inappropriateand must be stopped.”

The next important piece of information for the students to understand is thatif mediation is used having the bully and the victim together in the sameroom during the mediation does not work. The bully and the victim must beworked with individually. It has been said before but it is worth repeatinghere the bully is anti social and MUST develop consequential thinking. Thevictim has difficulty confronting others and drawing emotional boundaries.He/She MUST develop coping skills to deal with the bullying attacks. Thebully and the victim must be worked with individually, and then when it isappropriate they can be brought together to learn how to share classroomspace in a peaceful manner.

Answer the following questions: How often do we mediate in schools? (Probably everyday) When settling a dispute is it possible to do so without taking sides? How do you believe the student feels when you make a decision

that seems one sided? Could mediation encourage a bully to attack again if he/she

believes that the victim is responsible for getting them in trouble?

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Restorative Practices

Restorative practices are designed to restore damaged relationships betweenindividuals or groups. They require that the ‘offender’ acknowledgeswrongdoing and the harm he or she has caused, and then acts restorativelythrough an apology and compensatory action.

In the presence of the victim, ‘the bully’ is asked the followingquestions:

What happened?

What were you thinking of at the time?

What have you thought about since?

Who has been affected by what you have done and in what way?

2. The teacher now switches to the victim:

What did you think when you realized what had happened?

What have you thought about since?

What impact has this incident had on you and others?

What has been the hardest thing for you?

What do you think needs to happen to make things right?

3. Next, it is back to the bully:

What do you think you need to do to make things right?

How can we make sure this doesn’t happen again?

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After a restorative action has been suggested, undertaken and(importantly) accepted by the target, the case may be concluded, thoughthe situation may continue to be monitored

What assumptions does this method make about the nature of thebully?

Under what circumstances do you think this method should beemployed?

Support Group Method

There are seven steps in this method, beginning with an interview with thevictim, then holding a meeting with a group of students including both thebullies and other students (but not the victim), and ending with meetings withthe individuals who have taken part in the application of the method.

Step 1 - Talking with the victimThe teacher meets with the victim to establish the impact that thebullying has had. The victim is not asked to describe particular incidentsin which bullying has taken place, but is encouraged to provide adetailed and graphic account of the distress that he or she hasexperienced. This may take the form of a piece of writing or a drawingthat expresses how the child has been affected by the bullying. Thevictim is asked to identify the ‘bullies’ and to suggest the names ofpeople to form a group who could help solve the problem. Assurance isgiven that no one will be punished.

Step 2 - Convening a group meetingThis meeting includes the children who have been identified as thoseengaging in the bullying, and some other students who are selected bythe teacher because they are expected to be helpful in bringing about apositive outcome. The victim is not required to be present. Generallythe group size is around 6 to 8.

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Step 3 - Explaining the problemThe teacher draws attention to the problem and especially to thedistress that the victim is experiencing, using evidence provided by thevictim. Specific incidents are not described and no accusations aremade.

Step 4 – Promoting shared responsibilityIt is made clear that no one is going to be punished and that the grouphas been convened to help solve the problem and that everyone has aresponsibility to improve the situation.

Step 5 – Asking for ideasThe teacher asks for suggestions about how things can be made betterfor the victim. Each person present is asked to make a personalstatement on what he or she will do to help.

Step 6 - Leaving it up to themHaving explained the situation, the teacher passes responsibility for theproblem over to the group, thanks them for their support and indicatesthat there will be further meetings with each of the students to see howthings are going

Step 7 - Final meetingsA week or so later the teacher meets with members of the groupindividually to ascertain progress. The victim is also interviewed aspart of the monitoring process. It is important to recognize thatalthough no one is being blamed for the bullying this approach is quiteconfrontational and conveys that the children do have a jointresponsibility to improve the situation for the victim. In extreme cases,when there has been serious assaults, a disciplinary approach is seen asappropriate with the usual consequence being applied, or even policeaction.

When and Under What circumstances would this approach beused?

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Strengthening the Victim

Helping Students Defuse Power Struggles – FOGGING TECHNIQUE

One of the more useful techniques for defusing powerstruggles is called FOGGING. It is throughout the literature andbasically it is used to verbally disarm a student whomotherwise is trying to bait a teacher into a power struggle. Thisinvolves responding to inflammatory statements as if they areof little or no importance. The statements communicate that Icannot be manipulated by insults. These techniques are veryuseful for teachers but rarely do teachers teach victims thecorrect language to be used when they are verbally attacked bya bully. These verbal gymnastics if correctly used can help thevictim disarm the bully and prevent future attacks. Below is anexample of how it might work. Below you will find an exchangebetween a bully and a victim. The victim is using theagreement technique. Further down you will find othertechniques that can be used.

Bully: You have a great big noseTarget: True, it is largeBully: It looks like a beakTarget: True, it does stand outBully: You are the ugliest kid in the schoolTarget: That’s your opinionBully: You are wearing ugly shoesTarget: You are not wrongBully: You must be stupid to keep agreeing with meTarget: That’s trueBully: You keep saying that’s trueTarget: That’s true

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If spoken with confidence and the right body posture a victimcan avoid future attacks. A bully’s goal is to intimidate theirvictim. Once the victim displays confidence with the correctlanguage the bullying will cease at least temporarily. If doneover time the bullying will stop all together.

Change the Subject – If the victim replies to the verbal attackby changing the subject he/she can deflate the bullieschallenge. The victim is not condoning the words of the bullywhen he/she doesn’t respond. The bully knows that he/she iswrong.

State Both View Points – This requires the victim to use areflective listening technique and respond in a manner thatmakes the bully understand that they are not the only one withan opinion.

Bully: “You are such a jerk, no body likes you.”

Victim: “To you I may be a jerk but I have friends that think Iam a really nice person.”

Deliver a Closing Statement – Closing statement are designedto communicate to the bully that the conversation has ended.

“Are you done yet?”

“You’ve mistaken me for someone who wants to fight”

“Unless there is something else you want to say I am finishedwith this conversation”

Albert, Linda, Cooperative Discipline pgs. 67-70 (Adapted)

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A Bullying Intervention Model – (The Minimum)

The following elements must be present in some form for a school to be evenpotentially safe:

1. Bullying is Unacceptable. School personnel must set andenforce behavioral standards regarding theunacceptability of bullying.

2. The Empathetic School- The notion of being “mybrother’s keeper” must permeate a school. Teachingabout interdependence and the worth of individuals mustfill a school.

3. The Anti-Bullying Information Campaign- Schoolsshould kick off their anti-bullying campaign in a big way.A school could have a “No More Bullying Day,” with aspecial assembly including speakers.

4. Referral Mechanism- A mechanism must be in place forbringing bullies and victims of bullies to the attention ofhelping professionals inside and outside the school.

5. Interventions and Strategies- Schools must have variousmethods in place for dealing with bullies and theirvictims.

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A Step-By Step Approach to Your School-WideAnti-Bullying Campaign

This system will be most effective if your Board of Education approves of itin advance. Inevitably when you try to impose consequences, parents willobject. If your board of Education stands behind your program and everyoneis on the same page, you will find that the efficacy of this program will bemuch greater.

Kick off your anti-bullying campaign with an administrator or designatedfacilitator visiting each classroom or with an informational assembly withthe purpose of introducing the concept of bullying, including what a bully,victim or target, bystander, or rescuer is, and that your school will beembarking on a campaign to “create a bully-free school.”

Hold a staff meeting to explain various elements of the program to yourstaff, including any surveys you wish to use, referral forms, rules,consequences, etc.

Distribute a set of anti-bullying rules (in manual) to each classroom, and goover them with the students in detail. Explain the consequences of breakingone of the rules in detail. You will have to decide on a set of consequences.Rules and consequences should be uniform throughout the school. Post therules and consequences in each classroom.

Send a letter home to parents (sample is in this manual) to introduce thenotion that you are committed to creating a bully-free school. You mightinclude the anti-bullying rules and your consequences as attachments to theletter.

Form an anti-bullying group or club. The club will meet once or twice aweek before school, during lunch, or after school. The club should have notmore than 20 students in it unless you have two or more people leading it.You may want to require that students bring home permission slips that aparent/guardian must sign to give that child permission to participate in theclub. Students can sign up for the club on a first-come, first-serve basis.Make it clear that students do not have to be the “bullies” to join the club.The club will be more successful if it is not solely comprised of “bullies.”You will then naturally achieve a cross-section of bullies, targets or victims,

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bystanders, and rescuers in your group. All will benefit from participation inthe club. The members will decide upon a name for their club (i.e. BullyBusters, No Bullies Allowed Zone).

Some possible club activities are: teaching strategies and techniquesstudents can use for dealing with a bully, informative sessions that teachabout bullying, activities that foster children’s friendship/relationship skills,teacher-led discussions, role-playing, writing and producing role-plays or arelevant play to be performed in an assembly or in individual classrooms,practicing social skills, learning about respect, responsibility, andcompliance, participating in activities that increase students’ self confidenceand self image, watching relevant documentaries or movies, participating incommunity projects or service, doing lesson plans from packet (you have thepacket with lesson plans).

Ideally you will have generated great student interest in the club. You canthen rotate the whole group of students out after 1 or 2 months, and thenstart a new group.

Simultaneously, you will continue to run your school-wide anti-bullyingeducation campaign that all your students are a part of. You have alreadyintroduced the concept of bullying to your school, and the anti-bullying rulesand your consequences are in effect. The following are suggestions forsome activities you can run in your school-wide anti-bullying campaign:

Write a press release that you send out to local newspapers (a small, concisearticle that explains your school’s new anti-bullying campaign). A pressrelease can also be sent for an individual event.

Hold your fist annual anti-bullying poster contest. Each homeroom or classcomes up with an anti-bullying poster. Give the contest a lot of hype.Choose a deadline; collect all the posters. Have all the posters displayed inone place. Invite various individuals to come to judge the poster for first,second, and third place. You might invite the superintendent, anotherprincipal in your district, an elected town official, a board member, someonefrom the police of fire departments, someone from your local newspaper.Display the winning posters prominently, and display all the postersthroughout the building. You may want to hold a pizza party for the three

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classes that come in first, second, and third. You also may want to hookfirst, second, and third place ribbons onto their respective posters.

1. Run a different contest. Have each class create an anti-bullyingpledge that has the chance of being adopted school-wide (samplepledges are in manual). Again, choose your judges. Select the pledgeyou wish to be adopted. Then have a special “Adopt Our Anti-Bullying Pledge” day after you have selected the pledge you like.Invite various guests to be present when your entire student body“takes the pledge.”

2. Create a “Hands and Words Are Not For Hurting Wall.” This can beone large bulletin board, or individual bulletin boards displayedoutside each classroom. Students will trace their hands onconstruction paper. On one hand the students will write the school’spledge, and then sign their name under the pledge. On the other hand,they will write one thing they will commit to doing differently to“stop the bullying.”

3. Have the students create a box (or more than one if you want eachclassroom to have its own box) where any student can put somethingin writing on a piece of paper about a problem he or she is havingdealing with bullying. Someone then will have to be designated whoreads the notes and responds to them. One of the worst things that canhappen is if a child reports a bullying incident to someone in authorityin your school, and nothing happens as a result of the reporting.

4. Hold parent workshops that deal with bullying that explain theconcept of bullying, what your school is doing about the problem,warning signs that may indicate to parents that their child may be abully or a victim (in the manual), tips for parents on keeping theirchildren bully-free (in the manual), and tips on how parents can bringout the best in their children (in the manual). These workshops can bepart of your PTO night, or on a specified night for parents devotedonly to this subject.

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Sample Letter to Parents

Dear Parents/Guardians:

As you may know, bullying has been getting a lot of attention lately, but it ishardly a new problem. Bullies and their victims have been around forever.Attitudes toward bullying have changed and we now know that theconsequences of ignoring bullying are potentially very serious.

What’s new is our school’s commitment to doing something about bullying.We at _____________________ School have recognized bullying as aserious problem and we are aware of the long-term effects it can have on ourstudents and your children. As your child’s (teacher, principal, counselor) Iam personally committed to prevention and intervention and ask yoursupport as we as a team combat this problem.

From time to time I will be sending home material related to our efforts hereto create a bully-free school. I ask that you review them with your child andwork with her/him in understanding the devastating effects of this behavior.

We are totally committed to keeping (School Name) bully-free. Thank youin advance for your support in this important endeavor.

Sincerely,

Teacher/Principal

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Documenting Acts of Bullying

Acts of bullying need to be documented by the teacher and by the studentsas well. Often a teacher will call to report an isolated act of bullying to aparent that was told to them by the victim with little or no evidence of theevent. Realistically the teacher knows that the event took place but, isusually put on the defensive by the parent when asked the question; “Didyou see it.” Explain to the participants that it is necessary for 2 or even 3teachers to document acts of bullying that occur. It is also important forvictims to document events when they are bullied. The participants shoulduse the teacher log found in the resource manual in their classroom to keeptrack of bullies and their behavior. Their students should also document actsof bullying when they occur and report it to them so it can be recorded intheir log book. This is extremely important; Why? Teachers should deal withacts of bullying in groups, and should always have accurate recordsregarding the events. When parents question the teacher(s) about thereported act of bullying having multiple reports by different teachers makesthe parent understand that the events were real and have been observed andcounted.

Student documentation is also important. If a student is bullied he/she shouldnot only report the unobserved event but document it in their log. The logdoes not have to be complicated, and should be designed so it is age andgrade appropriate. Something as brief as the name of the bully, whathappened, and the date will do. If the student accrues multiple events, theposition here is that a student may be wrong once or twice but multipleevents with documentation indicate that bullying was taking place.

Key Points to Consider Teachers should not deal with the bully or the parents of the bully alone Documentation is key for not only teachers but for students as well Documentation creates an environment where the bully knows they are being

watched

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Establishing Clear Expectation and Procedures

Read below OUR CLASSROOM IS A PLACE WHERE:

OUR CLASSROOM IS A PLACE WHERE

We don’t all have to be the same.We don’t all have to think the same.

We don’t all have to act the same.WE DON’T ALL HAVE TO TALK THE SAME.

We don’t all have to dress the same.We don’t all have to believe the same things.

We have the right to be ourselves.WE LIKE IT THAT PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT.

We know that our differences make us interesting and UNIQUE.We honor different ways of being, acting, and

believing—even when we don’t agree with them.We do our best to solve problems peacefully.

We speak up if we see others being treated unfairly.

We treat each other the way we’d like to be treated.

WE TREAT EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT.

What would it take to assure that your students were in this type ofclassroom environment? When students are in an environment where theyknow what is expected of them, and understand expectations and proceduresthey work together. Having this type of environment requires that we asteachers have every minute planned in our classroom and leave no room forstudents down time, which can result in inappropriate behavior and bullyingevents. Understanding expectations and procedures can be a very tall order.Teachers need to accurately, and in detail spell everything out to theirstudents. Below find a comprehensive set of student expectations andprocedures that the participants should review. (List taken from the Allan L.Beane Book: “The Bully Free Classroom.”).

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Expectations and Procedure Checklist

Classroom Procedures—Do Students Know What Is Expected of Themfor Routine Operations?

Directions: Review the following procedures and check the ones yourstudents will need to know and practice.

A. Beginning the class How should students enter the room? What constitutes being late (in the room, in the seat)? How and when will absentee slips be handled? What type of seating arrangements will be used (assigned seats, open

seating, cooperative group seating)? How will the teacher get students' attention to start class (the tardy

bell, a signal such as a raised hand or lights turned off and on)? How will students behave during Public Address (PA)

announcements?

B. Classroom Management How and when will students leave their seats? What do students need in order to leave the room (individual passes,

room pass, teacher's permission)? How will students get help from the teacher (raise hands, put name on

board, ask other group members first)? What are acceptable noise levels for discussion, group work, seat

work? How should students work with other students or move into

cooperative groups (moving desks, changing seats, noise level,handling materials)?

How will students get recognized to talk (raised hand, teacher calls onstudent, talk out)?

How do students behave during presentations by other students? How do students get supplies they are missing? How and when do students sharpen pencils? How will students get materials or use special equipment?

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C. Paper Work How will students turn in work (put in specific tray or box, pass to the

front, one student collects)? How will students turn in makeup work if they were absent (special

tray, give to teacher, put in folder, give to teacher's aide)? How will students distribute handouts (first person in row, a group

member gets a copy for all group members, students pick up as theyenter room)?

How will late work be graded (no penalty, minus points, zero, "F," uselunch or recess to finish, turn in by end of day, drop so manyhomework grades)?

How and when will students make up quizzes and tests missed (sameday they return to school, within twenty-four hours, within the week,before school, during lunch or recess, after school)?

How will late projects such as research papers, portfolios, and artworkbe graded (no penalty, minus points, lowered letter grade, no latework accepted)?

D. Dismissal from Class or School How are students dismissed for lunch? When do students leave class for the day (when bell rings, when

teacher gives the signal)? Can students stay after class to finish assignments, projects, tests? Can the teacher keep one student or the whole class after class or

school? What do students do during fire and disaster drills?

E. Syllabus or Course Outline How are students made aware of course objectives? How are students made aware of course requirements? Are students given due dates for major assignments several weeks in

advance? Are students told how they will be evaluated and given the grading

scale?

F. Other ProceduresYou may need to introduce procedures related to recess, assemblies, guestspeakers, substitute teachers, field trips, fire drills, teacher leaving the room,etc. List other procedures that are needed.

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Permission has been granted to use this list from:What To Do With the Kid Who… Developing Cooperation, Self-Discipline, andResponsibility in the Classroom, 2nd ed., by Kay Burke. See the LessonLab SkylightBookstore for information on other books for teachers or to find specific informationabout Kay Burke and this book.© Copyright 2000 by SkyLight Training and Publishing Inc. Reprinted by permissionof LessonLab, a Pearson Education Company, www.lessonlab.com.

LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING EFFECTIVE AND EFFICIENT

When you are an effective teacher, your teaching takes hold, and your

students slowly but surely learn from you, and the learning is permanent.

Remember, too much too fast won’t last. It is much better to spend 10 days

teaching one skill that your students will be able to use for a lifetime, than

teaching 10 different skills in 10 days that your students will forget the day

after you taught them. The problem that you may be faced with is being

expected to move quickly through an overly ambitious curriculum. If you

have the sense that your students have not grasped a concept, then spend

more time on it.

When you are efficient, you have the ability to take care of the day to day

administrative paperwork that seems to be never ending such as attendance,

grading papers, your grade book, your lesson plans, etc. in an efficient

manner. Administrative items must be dealt with efficiently so that you are

freed up to teach. Understanding the difference between being effective and

being efficient will help you understand what is important and what you

need to devote your time to.

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Character Education

Bullying behavior displays a lack of regard for the rights and privileges ofanother person. Often teachers will focus on the behavior and ignore the rootproblem of disrespect. Character education is mostly taught in a haphazardmanner and is almost ceremonious in nature. Bullies are anti social, lackempathy and conscience. It is extremely important to incorporate lessonsthat speak to the development of character and emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence Defined

Emotional intelligence is the innate potential to feel, use, communicate, recognize,remember, describe, identify, learn from, manage, understand and explainemotions.

In teaching character education in classrooms, teachers should understandthat many of the character qualities that they teach are abstract and involvemore emotion and attitude than action. In fact poor attitudes usually lead topoor actions. Helping students to understand that how they think will usuallydetermine how they act is extremely important if we are going to deal withthe problem of bullying. The students we work with are not usually in tunewith their emotions and even though it has been said before bullies lackempathy which is an emotion and in fact a character quality as well. Helpingstudents understand emotional character qualities will help not only withbullying but with classroom behavior overall. The first step is to give thestudents something that is concrete to understand. Defining emotionalcharacter qualities will help improve the thought process of the studentswhich will lead to improved behavior and aid in the stopping of bullyingevents.

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DEFINITIONS OF EMOTIONAL CHARACTER QUALITIES

1. Attentiveness vs. Unconcern – Showing the worth of a person bygiving my full concentration to his/her words.

2. Caring vs. Selfishness – Giving to others basic needs without havingas my motive personal reward.

3. Compassion vs. Indifference – Investing whatever is necessary tohelp heal the emotional hurts of others.

4. Discernment vs. Shortsightedness – The ability to have acutejudgment and understanding.

5. Flexibility vs. Rigidity – The ability to adapt to new, different, orchanging situations or requirements.

6. Forgiveness vs. Resentment – Ceasing to feel bitterness toward one’soffender and not holding a grudge against him/her.

7. Gentleness vs. Harshness – Showing personal care and concern inmeeting the needs of others.

8. Honesty vs. Deception – A refusal to lie, steal, or deceive in any way.9. Maturity vs. Immaturity – Having the ability to subordinate my

impulses to a value.10.Patience vs. Impatience – The ability to suppress restlessness or

annoyance in waiting.11.Respect vs. Disrespect – Having a high regard for the rights,

privileges, or worth of another person.12.Responsibility vs. Unreliability – Holding myself accountable for my

thoughts, words, actions, attitudes, and motives.13.Self – Control vs. Self – Indulgence – Exercising restraint over my

thoughts, words, actions, attitudes, and motives.14.Sensitivity vs. Callousness – Exercising my senses so I can perceive

the true attitudes and emotions of those around me.15.Sincerity vs. Falseness – The desire to do what is right with no

motives of my own.16.Tolerance vs. Prejudice – Having an understanding or acceptance of

the beliefs or practices differing from one’s own.17.Trustworthiness vs. Unreliability – The quality of being reliable and

deserving of trust.

How often do we mention these qualities to our students? Do we believe that ourstudents really understand these qualities?

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Why “Character is Everything”

That which truly distinguishes one person from another is the force that iscalled character.

Character is more important than achievement.

Character affects thoughts decision, words, attitudes, goals, relationships,and actions. As people build character, the outcomes of their lives becomemore successful.

Good character is characterized by the constant striving to make the rightchoice.

A person with true character demonstrates qualities such as: honesty,reliability, diligence, respect and responsibility. In school, a studentcooperates in a willing spirit with school regulations concerning attendance,property, and behavior.

Technology advances, information expands, and the world changes, butthe building blocks for producing individuals of character do notchange.

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How Do I Build Character?

You Build Character by identifying specific attributes that make a personof character.

You Build Character by focusing on one character quality at a time in orderto understand its nature, importance, and benefits.

You Build Character by recognizing when students demonstrate exemplarybehavior and praising them for it.

You Build Character by participating in service oriented activities. In short,you build character by doing.

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Character and Achievement

Achievement is the positive results of good character. The nature and qualityof your character will determine the type of achievement that marks yourlife. Character is the causative force in a person’s decisions.Accomplishments are the effects of those decisions.

Having a beautiful and productive garden requires the selection, planting,and watering of good seeds; removal of unwanted weeds; and the continuingnourishment of the roots of the “good plants.” Therefore it is useless tomotivate accomplishments without first and foremost encouraging goodcharacter.

Achievement must always be praised by praising the character traits of theindividual that brought it about. Rather than telling a child “I am thrilled yougot an ‘A’ on your math test”, it is more meaningful and fruitful to say “I amthrilled with your attentiveness and the diligent study habits you used to earnthat ‘A.’

Achievement is the end result of the integrated efforts of everyone in a club,on a team or in a classroom. Achievement is based on skills, abilities, andopportunities, which differ from person to person.

Character however is not based on skill or ability, nor is it limited byopportunity. Character qualities can and should be developed by everyone,regardless of age, training, or position.

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How to Praise Character

When an individual is commended for his/her punctuality, he/she will bemotivated to continue and even improve in that character quality. Thatquality becomes part of that person’s worth and identity.

Praise can be communicated through spoken words, in writing, through atimely smile or nod of appreciation, a hearty handshake, or the proverbialpat on the back. The number of ways that character can be identified andcommended is limitless, and the more methods you employ, the moremeaningful your praise will be.

As you observe students there are many things you can say that will showyou have recognized qualities that could go unnoticed. As you walk by astudent’s desk and notice that his/her work area is neat and attractive, youmight stop and say, “John, you are going to have to share with me some ofthe ways you keep yourself so orderly. I would like to keep my work area asneat as yours.”

Praising the character of one person to another can also be very meaningful.While working with a student you might mention, “Have you noticed howgrateful Jim is? He is so thankful for any little thing you do for him. Iadmire that.”

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Praise Publicly to Build Character

The following steps will help you identify qualities and give you ideas onhow to publicly praise your students. The appreciation, which a student feelsfor a statement made, that recognizes his/her efforts, can be used as aspringboard to generate more positive qualities over time. All students donot like public recognition so it is important to understand that prior topraising a student in front of others. For those who don’t, recognize themindividually in private and reveal to them how their positive character hasbeen an encouragement to you. The practice of recognizing the character ofstudents in your school on a regular basis has numerous benefits includingbut not limited to the following:

The teacher gains a greater understanding of specific character qualities.

The teacher is reminded to look for positive character and recognize it as themost valuable attribute of the student.

The teacher becomes more proficient in defining and praising character,which not only benefits the student but also has benefits for the teacher bothpersonally and as a professional.

The student praised is reminded that character is the most important factoraffecting his/her performance positively.

The student praised recognizes that character is something he or she isresponsible for and can control. This helps improve behavior and make forpermanent change in school climate.

The student praised is motivated to continue demonstrating the quality thatwas recognized.

Other students learn what qualities are important to a class and the overallschool improvement.

Other students learn what qualities are important and develop reasons toappreciate their fellow students. This is especially important for studentswho do not get along well with each other.

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Other students learn how character practically applies to life by the livingexample of someone they attend school with every day.

The Role of the Teacher

Character development must be an on going process, not just a program.

Your school’s character development will not be effective if it is simply asystem of terminology used to motivate students to be more productive.

Character begins with your own personal commitment to demonstrate anddevelop character in your own life.

It is out of this discovery of the importance of character building in yourown life that you be able to teach character to your students.

It is essential for teachers, administrators and all other support staff in aschool to exemplify the character qualities that are being taught.

Character is the difference between living by the lowest commondenominator of human behavior and the best humans can be.

Qualities Developed Through Improved Character

As students work on specific character qualities they will have to think clearly anddevelop problem-solving skills. The character qualities that are worked on will developskills in the following areas:

Self-Esteem - As students are recognized for showing specific characterqualities, they will improve in other areas as well, such as achievement,respect, and responsibility.

Responses to Authority - As the key people in the building recognize thesepositive qualities in each student, students will have a more positiveresponse to them. Teachers, administrators, and support staff will then beable to discipline students in a much more positive manner and teach thenecessary skills for life long success.

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Relationships – Because there is so much positive reinforcement forstudents in the praising of their character, students will begin to see eachother in a more positive light. Students will then encourage positivecharacter in each other.

Priorities – Because students will begin to feel better about their owncharacter, they will be able to focus on achievement. This will help to reduceanxiety and eliminate bad habits.

OVERALL BENEFITS as character improves, there will be:Improved attendance

Improved grades

Improved test scores

Reduction in behavioral referrals

Improved school climate

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Three BehaviorsThat must be developed in

All Children

• Respect - Is the child’s behavior violating the rights and privileges ofothers? Does his/her attitude communicate ingratitude or disregard forothers? (People)

• Responsibility - Are tasks being followed through to completion?Have I motivated the child to do the job initially by working with him,making it enjoyable and enabling him to sense the achievement forhaving accomplished the task?

• Compliance - Is the child being respectful to the instruction givenfrom the adult in charged? Does he/she respond correctly to authority?(Parents, teachers, employers, law enforcement officials).

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The Key to the Foundation of Character is Respect

Educators today are under constant pressure to improve students'standardized test scores and to improve students' overall academicperformance. If a student’s test scores are not up to snuff or if students haveacademic difficulty that can’t be explained, often, a principal will find his orher way into the classroom for an observation to try to find something wrongwith the teacher’s instructional methods. The question I would like to raisehere is: who truly is responsible for a student’s academic performance?

I was not the very best student. I struggled just to get C’s and an occasionalB. Never in all my time as a student did anyone question how good myteachers were. Instead I was questioned about what my responsibilitieswere as a student. When I was in elementary school, my father would knowwhen marking periods were over and when report cards were issued. Oncehe had that report card in hand he would sit me down and go over mygrades. If there was any grade that was below a C he would ask me what wasgoing on, why that happened, and then he would discuss with me what myresponsibilities were in order to raise my grade. I remember once I tried topull a fast one and tell him that the teacher didn’t like me. He didn’t buy it,and told me that the teacher didn't have to like me, and I didn't have to likethe teacher, and that my job was to work as hard as I could to understandwhat the teacher was teaching me. When I was a freshman in high school Ifailed Algebra I. I went home and told my father that it was no big deal, andthat I would take it again in my sophomore year. He said to me, “No youwon’t, you failed because you didn’t apply yourself.” I ended up in summerschool. My father told me that he would give me all the help that he couldgive me, but if I failed, I did it on my own, and of course, if I passed I didthat on my own too. Summer school was the best thing that ever happenedto me because the following year I got straight A’s in Algebra II. It was abreeze. My father had taught me an invaluable lesson. He made meresponsible for my own successes or failures in my education, and would nothear any excuses.

I have a friend who has a son who I have known since he was 11 years old.I never once heard him complain about homework assignments, not havingenough time to study, poor teachers, or that he didn’t understand something.He took responsibility for every aspect of his education. I looked at his highschool transcript when he graduated, and there wasn’t one A on it, there

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were only A+’s. He was the valedictorian of his high school class, and he isnow a freshman at Dartmouth College.

Schools have the responsibility of giving their students the tools they willneed to succeed academically. But like my father told me, a person passesor fails on his own. We need to make students understand that they are notonly responsible for their successes, but for their failures as well. Successwill come when they are prepared to learn and when they put forth their besteffort. Those high standardized test scores will come when responsibility forsuccess or failure is placed back where it belongs - on the individual student.

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Encouraging Responsibility

Teachers must avoid the victimization mentality. It is toxicallydisempowering. Empowerment is so much more effective. And even if itwere not, you would still be happier in an empowerment mode than avictimization mode.

One recent staff discussion demonstrated that a paradigm shift would berequired for some teachers to leave the victimization realm. Believing thatlearning is prohibited because some students come from unstructured homes,from poverty, or have some other situation that cannot be changed is amindset of victimized thinking – ON THE PART OF THE TEACHER.Certainly some home situations diminish optimum learning, but they do notprevent learning. Too often educators believe genetics, family, orenvironment determines a student’s behavior or academic ability. Studentsare affected by these factors, but the question is do these factors influencethem or determine them. If they are influenced they can always change theirresponse to the influence.

Regardless of the situation, students can always be taught that they can bemasters of their own fate, that they can be victors rather than victims.Students can be taught that when they enter the classroom, they have thepower to choose to learn or not to learn. The choice is theirs.

Realizing that students choose their behavior keeps us from believing thatstudents are victims and allowing them to absolve themselves ofresponsibility in the name of circumstances. If we believe that students arenot capable of responsible behavior they will provide us with the evidenceto support our belief.

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Personal Responsibility - Why It’s So Important

It is very important to hold students accountable for bullying behavior. Haveyou ever been pulled over for speeding? If you have, you'll probablyremember the anxiety you felt when you saw those flashing lights in yourrear view mirror. You knew you were speeding, and you probably felt sickthinking about the fine you'd be paying, and the points you'd be getting thatwould drive your insurance rates even higher. You probably were gettingready to give the officer an excuse as he walked over to your car. Maybe youtold him you were late for an appointment or to work. Maybe your excusewas that your kid was sick and you had to get home. After the ticket wasissued you drove away shaking your head in disgust, and you reduced yourspeed. You inevitably vowed that from then on you would leave yourselfmore time to get where you needed to go so that it wouldn't happen everagain.

My question is, were you more upset that you were speeding or more upsetthat you got caught? I think the answer is obvious; you were more upset thatyou got caught in the act of doing something illegal. There was no realremorse for your actions.

The missing piece is that we need to follow rules or laws all the time, notjust when we think someone is watching. Bullying is a behavior that is oftendone very covertly; it is done when no one is looking. Bullies are cowardsand they need to be held accountable for their actions, but in many instancesthey’re not, largely because teachers don’t observe the bullying behavior.On the occasion that a bully is caught, and the parents of the bully arecontacted regarding their child’s behavior, the parent asks the teacher if theyobserved what their child did or if the teacher is relying on the informationthat was received from other students. The parents then become verydefensive and confrontational and in their own way begin to bully theteacher, and leave the teacher feeling intimidated and fearful of them (theparents). But even worse, the result is that the teacher may even be leftfeeling of the student who is the bully. The teacher then becomes veryreluctant to hold this student responsible for bullying actions in the future.The problem is that holding a bully responsible using relevant and consistentconsequences is the only thing that will stop him from terrorizing otherstudents. If the bully is not held accountable, then all we are doing ispreparing him for a lifetime of irresponsible behavior. He will never have

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remorse for his actions and he will only be concerned about whether or nothe is going to be caught.

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Compliance

INSTRUCTION – There are two basic methods of instructing a child byexample or by teaching specific information. An adult who abruptly correctsa child assumes he always effectively communicated the correctinformation.

WARNING – Should be used to develop effective communication. It allowsus to see life from the child’s point of view. It should not be used as a threat;rather it should be used to determine if we communicated the correctinformation.

CORRECTION –If we do not correct inappropriate behavior by default wecommunicate agreement. We need to evaluate our motives for correctionconsidering the three basic objectives: respect, responsibility, andcompliance.

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GUIDELINES FOR CORRECTION

• Before correcting a student, again evaluate the goals and objectivesconsider compliance, respect, and responsibility.

• Don’t correct the child in front of others

• Establish responsibility for the offense

• Visualize the ultimate benefit of correction

• Communicate sincere grief for the offense

• Use the least amount of correction needed to make your point makingsure the correction fits the misconduct.

• Console the child after correction

• Assist in further restitution if necessary

• Evaluate your attitude and the child’s response after the correction

• Keep in mind, a person relates to life on the basis of two motivations:what will I gain or what will I lose.

COMPLIANCE THROUGH THE WARNING

The intent of the warning is not a prelude to punishment.

It is the final step of instruction to determine whether the instruction wasclear or the non-compliance was willful.

Does the student understand the three levels of discipline?Instruction, Warning and Correction.

If non-compliance continues after the consequences:

• Do not go back to the instructional or warning level, rather evaluatethe consequences.

• Consistency will motivate the child to comply when warned.

• When the child understands you mean what you say and you will dealwith the non-compliance as stated, the behavior will change.

• Questions to Ask:

• What did you do?

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• What should you have done?

• Were you right in what you did?

• Were you disrespectful or irresponsible?

• If you are convinced that the child was not aware of any wrong doing,you can conclude one or more of the following:

• My instructions was not clear,

• He was being childish rather than non-compliant,

• He was reacting to me personally-

• I have been inconsistent,

• I may have violated his sense of fairness.

•

ALWAYS ASK YOURSELF

What am I going to do if the child does not behave?

Pick your no’s.

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Learn the following guidelines to effectively teach these very important

values

BE PROACTIVE NOT REACTIVEIt is critical to understand what values you are trying to teach you students.If respect, responsibility, compliance, and truthfulness are qualities you wantto build into your students teach them as a matter of structured lesson ratherthan react when students fail to exhibit these qualities. Keep character as akey component in your classroom and use it to promote positiverelationships and behavior.

AWARENESSGet students to focus on their attention on their own behavior and how itaffects others. Never, Never ask, Why did you do that? Always ask, what didyou do? Too often when a student is asked why they did something it givesthem an opportunity to alibi their actions and use circumstance or anotherperson as a reason for their behavior. Asking what forces the student tofocus on is own actions.

CLIMATE / INFLUENCEThe two most important items in improving school and classroom climateare rules and regulations and compassion and understanding. If any one ofthese is out of balance behavior problems will occur. Influencing the choicesstudents make can be accomplished when there is a balance between thetwo. Students develop greater respect and a sense of fairness when thebehavior is dealt with in an objective manner and the teacher works toprevent the behavior from occurring again.

ASSUME NOTHINGAssume nothing – Teach everything. When we give instructions we shouldnever assume that all students heard or understood us. Teach and re-teachprocedures, behaviors, and courtesies we want students to exhibit in ourclassrooms. The instruction, warning, and correction model should be used.

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MAKE A PLANCome up with a plan that encourages responsibility. Present the problem tothe student and ask him if he has a solution. Usually students are aware ofproblems they have with their behavior and have problems with self-control.Assist the student in dealing with the problem and help him self-generatepositive behavior.

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Read the essays “Parents Can Be Bullies Too” and “Who Will Parent the Parents”Has this ever happened to you as a teacher? If so, what emotions were you feelingwhen you were experiencing when you were confronted by an irate parent, who wasa bully?

Parents Can Be Bullies Too

Teachers who lose control of their classrooms usually do so because of thebehavior of one or two students. Many times, the parents of these studentshave the ability to instill fear and intimidation into the teacher and in theirown way bully the teacher. This scenario is all too familiar. A student who isa bully gets reported by the victim to the teacher. The teacher doesn’t see thebullying, but is concerned about the report and believes it warrants a phonecall home. The teacher calls home and is immediately put on the defensiveby the parent. The parent begins to react to the teacher’s phone call and asksthe following questions: Did you actually see my child bully someone else?Are you calling my son/daughter a liar? How do you know it was my child?Or, what did the other kid do to my son or daughter? After the teachercatches his/her breathe and tries to respond, the parent then starts withcomments such as these: I heard your entire class is out of control. Myson/daughter has told me that you don’t like him/her. My child told me thathe was bullied last week, and you did nothing about it. The parent then endsthe conversation by saying the following: Unless you have some proof thatmy child bullied another student, don’t call me again, and then the parenthangs up. The next day the child comes to school and has more clout thanbefore and continues the bullying behavior. The level of intimidation andfear starts to well up in the teacher, who now wonders what to do if there isanother report from a victim that bullying is occurring again (by the samebully as before). This is a serious problem.

What usually does happen is the teacher does everything to avoid makingthat next phone call to the parent of the bully and begins to ignore the bully,including any bullying behaviors, and starts to surrender the authority in theclassroom to the bully. Victims who are in this classroom have to sink orswim on their own and go to school everyday filled with fear.

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Who Will Parent the Parents?

I frequently think back to my childhood. I remember how my grandmother(Mom’s side) spent time at my house. To this day, she is still the sweetestold lady that I ever met. I was in an afternoon kindergarten program, and mygrandmother took care of me during the mornings. Every morning when Iwoke up, she was sitting in a big chair right next to my bed. As soon as Iopened my eyes she would wave and smile at me. I felt so secure seeing herin that chair. I really loved her a lot. My dad’s mom lived right up the street.When I became old enough, I used to walk over to her house, have lunchwith her, do her grocery shopping for her, and then just hang around withher. She would give me a dollar for helping her. I saved those dollars to buyChristmas presents for my sisters, my mom, and my dad. Unfortunately, mydad's mom passed away when I was thirteen, and I still miss her today. Mymom’s mom passed away when I was nineteen, and that was another bigloss that I still feel.

It really doesn’t matter how old you are. You still need parenting. Justbecause someone is grown and married doesn’t mean that they still don’tneed guidance and direction. I watched my maternal grandmother help mymom deal with things all the time. Whether it was raising her kids or dealingwith my dad, my mom always spoke to her and sought her advice. When shedied, it was almost as if my mother’s wheels fell off, and she started tostumble through life and always seemed to be looking for answers to someof life’s most basic questions. She seemed to have greater difficulty beingmarried to my dad and seemed angry at times until the day she died. Whenmy dad’s mom died, I noticed that he would drink more, and go off onbenders for a few days. It was almost as if he lost his check valve and didn’tfeel accountable to anyone.

I am fifty six years old now and have been a teacher and administratorfor thirty years. After working with and talking to countless parents, I havedrawn the following conclusion: Parents need parenting! I have spoken tomany adults my own age and have found that their relationship with theirparents is strained or they're not talking to their parents at all. I would askthem, “How long has it been since you spoke to your mom or dad,”expecting to hear that they just had a little spat and it was for a few days. Afew days, try twenty years. During that twenty year period, I wonder howmuch wisdom they lost that they could have gotten from their parents. Howmuch help with their children did they lose, or worse yet, what did the

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grandchildren lose because these parents despised their own mother orfather?

No matter what the age, people need to be parented. Some individualswho have a poor relationship with their parents lose their grip on right andwrong and have a tremendous problem figuring out some of life’s most basicproblems. These adult children often have a general sense of bitternessbecause of their poor relationship with their parents. They may feel resentfulwhen they have problems raising their own children; because they becomeaware that they are receiving no direction or guidance from their ownparents and that they have to figure everything out on their own. They mightwonder what they're going to do with their child or what’s wrong with theirchild. They should be asking what’s wrong with them. Their children enterschool and become problems for the teacher. They don’t do what they’retold to do and are disrespectful and non-compliant. The teacher calls homeonly to find a disrespectful and non-compliant parent on the other end who isdefensive and who believes that the school isn’t being fair to their child.They berate the teacher and blame the school for all of the problems thattheir son or daughter is experiencing.

This was an all too frequent scenario for me. I dealt with many parentswith this type of attitude as a teacher and as an administrator. In one district,I chose to run a parent support group. When I started the group I hadseventy-five parents. They all did nothing but complain about the behaviorof their kids and blamed the school for the problems their kids wereexperiencing. Once they discovered that I wasn’t going to play the blamegame, my group dwindled down to a precious few and ultimately had to bediscontinued.

Parents want help, but they want the wrong kind of help. They wantsomeone to fix their kids, but they need to find someone to fix them. Theydon’t realize that the people who can offer them the most help were putnaturally at their disposal for free, and that’s their parents. The question stillremains, who will parent the parents? Schools have tried parentingprograms. These programs don’t work. They offer advice, but ultimately it’sup to the parents to follow through. The minute their kids gives them a hardtime they revert right back to blaming everyone else, then start looking formore advice.

Who will parent the parents? Maybe society has to parent the parents.Hopefully, someone will realize that all the wisdom, guidance, direction,support, love, and affection were theirs for the taking, but they chose to turntheir backs on their biggest resource, their parents.

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Parents who are irate and confrontational usually are being bullied at home byeither their spouse or by their children. They come to school to conference withteachers and are usually filled with fear and express that fear in the form of anger.(This fear is because they don’t want to return home without answers for their childwho is probably bullying them). They usually come to school unannounced anddemand to see someone immediately (a teacher or an administrator) and becausethese parents are so emotional it is critical to build rapport with them immediately.

This can’t be done verbally, but it can be done physically. Follow the stepsbelow for building physical rapport with a parent.

1. Enter the meeting by greeting the parent, and have your grade book ornotes with you.

2. Assess the body posture of the parent and mirror how they are sitting.Don’t mimic the parent, if their arms are folded across their chest, foldyour hands. The idea here is they have folded their arms which arecrossed limbs; you fold your hands, same idea – less defensive.

3. Allow the parent to speak and understand that they may begin to raisetheir voice. DO NOT interrupt; you will only be accused of arguing.This is one fear that teachers must overcome; the fear of being yelledat.

4. Once you are convinced that that the parent has blown off enoughsteam and is starting to calm down, change how you are sitting. Youmight unfold your hands, or sit back in your seat. If the parentchanges their body position and is now sitting in physical rapport withyou, you can now speak and tell your side of the story. The parent atthis point is ready to listen.

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Below you will find further steps for dealing with unplanned parent conferences.Share this with the participants as well.

Unplanned Parent Conferences

1. Don’t act surprised.

2. Parents who greet you early in the morning or well after school

are not there because they are happy about something. Be ready.

3. Be prepared for the parent to begin by raising his or her voice.

4. Ask the parent to come into your room and excuse yourself for a

minute. This allows you to let someone else know what is going

on.

5. Sit in clear view of the parent, not behind the desk.

6. Be ready to let the parent speak; don’t interrupt.

7. Get to the root of the problem as fast as possible and ask the

parent, “What do you want to have happen?” or “What would you

like me to do?”

8. Agree in principle only, not in content. A comment such as “I see

your concern” works well.

9. Don’t argue.

Plan to meet again. This gives you a chance to be more prepared and

able to overcome objections.

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Some Reasons Why a Parent Will Come in Unannounced

1. A student failed a test because of lack of time to study.2. The teacher embarrassed a student in front to the class.3. A student was disciplined too harshly or a student was disciplined

based on the reports of another student. (Typical bullying scenario)4. Several students were involved in an infraction and only one student

was disciplined. (Unfair consequences)5. A student loses privileges such as going on a field trip because of

continued and willful non-compliance.

Steps to Follow for Planned Parent Conferences

1. Do I know what I am going to talk about, and can I expressmy concerns objectively?

2. Do I have documentation to support my concerns about thestudent’s academic or behavioral difficulty?

3. Am I ready to listen and understand as much as I want to beunderstood?

4. Do I understand the principles and benefits of being inphysical rapport with the parent?

5. Do I have work samples available for review to support myconcerns?

6. Have I kept a behavioral log that documents the child’sepisodes of disrespect, irresponsibility, noncompliance, andany other type of behavior that is disruptive to theclassroom (for example, bullying)?

7. Do I know how to overcome objections without becomingdefensive?

8. Is my classroom neat and organized?

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Anti Bullying Classroom Rules

1. Bullying is not allowed in our classroom.2. We don’t tease, call names, or put people down.3. We don’t hit, shove, kick, or punch.4. If we see someone being bullied, we speak up and stop it

(if we can) or go get help right away.5. When we do things in a group, we make sure that

everyone is included and no one is left out.6. We make new students feel welcome.7. We listen to each other’s opinion.8. We treat others with kindness and respect.

Taken from “The Bully Free Classroom” Allan L. Beane. Pg.51

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Activities

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ActivitiesActivity One

“The Thing I Like Most About You.” In order to create a classroom ofcaring and compassionate learners, teachers should encourage language inthe classroom that edifies the student. Too often students say things to oneanother in a hurtful manner and are not even aware of the damage that theydo to another person. This activity will provide the participants with astrategy that gives their students more positive language. This is not onlyimportant for the bully to learn but for the whole class. In reality the entireclass is a bystander to bullying behavior. Based upon the previous activitythe class should have enough information to complete this activity.

“The Thing I Like Most About You”

1) Have the students write their name on a piece of paper and place it ina hat or a container.

2) The teacher will draw a name out of the hat. Let’s say the name isJim.

3) Jim will not be involved in the activity at this time.4) The students will then be instructed to write one paragraph describing

the thing that they like most about Jim.5) The paragraph must contain one quality that they like with supporting

details.6) Each student will then read his/her short essay to Jim.7) The essays should be collected by the teacher first and screened so

that any negative comments or backhanded compliments would NOTbe read.

8) Jim would receive these essays in a decorated folder to take home andto read when he would like to.

9) This activity should start around October when the students have hada chance to get to know each other

Possible Questions aout this activity:

Q -What if a student refuses to write the essay?A – His/her name is removed from the hat until he participates.Q – Should all students have to do this?A- Yes. It is not about feeling like it at this point. It is to give the studentsthe language to say positive things to their classmates.

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Q -What if student writes negative comments?A – His/her essay is pulled and the teacher determines if this was intentionalor if the student just didn’t know any better. The teacher then sits with thestudent to assist in making revisions.

How does this help stop bullying in your classroom?

This activity creates an environment of caring and concern and providesbystanders (the class) with the language and the ability to speak up whennegative comments are made. The student who is selected and has the essayswritten for him or her receives the support of the class and begins to beviewed differently by other class members. The bully has to participate aswell, and is far more reluctant to make negative comments and bully victimsafter the activity is completed. He realizes that the class is using differentlanguage and is more supportive of each other. This activity should beongoing and be done at least once per week. It helps bystanders by creatingin them the idea that they are not in the minority but the majority. It can alsobe done as part of a creative writing lesson.

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Activity Two

Bully Free School Guided Fantasy – The students will be given anopportunity to imagine what a bully free school might look like. The teacherwill read the following to the students (see below) and have the participantsvisualize a bully free school. Once this is completed, the participant will usethe information to create the bully free environment and fill in the stems thatfollow.

I want you to find a comfortable position that you can stay in thewhole time I am reading. When you are comfortable, I want you to closeyour eyes. Take a deep breath – breathe in, and now breathe out. Let yourbody begin to relax, as you breathe deeply in and out, let all the noisesaround you fade into the background. We are going to use our imaginationsto take a journey to a school. This school is your school, but it is specialbecause in this school there is no name-calling and no bullying at all. I amgoing to help you walk through this school, but it is up to you to decide whatthis school looks like, sounds like, and how it feels to be there. We’ll talklater about what you see, but for now, let’s start our trip.

You are standing in front of the bully-free school building. You are lookingat the building and you can see the name of the school written on the front.What is the school called? What does it look like? Take a look around tosee what is outside the school, and then move a little closer so that you arenear the door of the school. Turn your head towards the door, and listen tothe sounds coming from inside. What do you hear? Is it noisy or quietinside? Based on the noises you hear, what do you think people inside aredoing at this time of day?

Now take a step so that you are inside the school. You can see a schooloffice ahead of you, and there are adults and students inside, working andtalking. What are the people in the office doing? What are they talkingabout? Walk past the office and into one of the school hallways. There arestudents in the hallway, opening lockers and talking. Can you hear theirconversations? What do you hear the students saying to one another? Howare they acting? What do you see?

Now walk past the students in the hallway until you get to the door of theclassroom. Stand outside the classroom for a moment and listen by the door.

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You can hear a teacher’s voice – what is it saying? How does the teacher’svoice sound? Now you can hear students talking and answering the teacher.What are the students saying? Walk into the classroom and look around.What does the classroom look like? How are the students sitting in theroom? What is hanging on the walls? What types of activities are studentsdoing? As you look around, remember that in this school there is nobullying, and no one calls names.

When you are ready, stand up and walk back into the hallway. Walk downthe hall until you see the door that leads into the cafeteria. Wait outside thedoor and listen to what is going on inside the cafeteria. It is lunchtime forsome of the students at the school. Is it noisy or quiet? Step inside thecafeteria and walk towards the tables where students are eating lunch. Sitdown at the table and listen to students talking as they eat. What are thestudents talking about? Look around and notice how students are seated atthe tables. Are students sitting alone or in groups? Is anyone left out? Dostudents seem happy to be in the cafeteria today, or are they eager to leaveand go back to class?

Stand up and use the door on the side of the cafeteria to walk outside to theplayground where some students are having recess. Walk over to wherestudents are playing on the swings, monkey bars, and slide. Watch how theyplay – are they playing in big groups or small groups? Are some studentsplaying alone? What do you hear students saying to one another whileplaying? Walk over to where two students both want to use a swing.Listen to the students talk about what to do. Remember, neither student iscalling names or bullying the other. How do they figure out how to sharethe swing?

As you watch the students solve the problem, begin to walk back towardsthe school. As you leave the playground, look around at the students playingand think about if what you see there looks different from what occurs at ourschool. Walk back to the door and go through the cafeteria again, out intothe hallway, and back towards the office. When you reach the front of theschool, enter the office and ask to speak to the principal of the school. Theprincipal comes out – what does she/he look like? Say hello, and tell theprincipal one thing that you really like about your visit to the school. Saygoodbye to the principal, and leave the office. Walk out the front door of theschool.

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We are done with our tour of the bully-free school now, and it’s time to talkabout what each of you saw, heard, and felt while we were visiting. Whenyou are ready you can open your eyes and share your ideas.

2007 GLSEN & NAESP

If the ___________(name of school) was free of name-calling andbullying it would: LOOK LIKE THIS, SOUND LIKE THIS, ANDFEEL LIKE THIS. Participants will write their description based uponthe senses mentioned. They will then share it with a partner, basegroup, and then the class.

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Activity Three

Class Mural – The students will take their notes from the previous activityand will design an anti bullying mural that will be displayed in the room.This mural can have pictures, words, and sayings that indicate what a bullyfree classroom/school might look like. The class can work in cooperativegroups of 3, 4, or 5 and create two or three murals if they like. The studentsmay also create a digital (PowerPoint) presentation of their bully-freeclassroom and share it with the class.

Cyber Bullying VocabularyActivity Four

The following are tactics used by cyber bullies against their targets:

Bashing – Using the Internet to make contact and commit directverbal or visual attacks at any time. Cyber bullies may postcomments on blogs or send text messages from a phone. They mayalso take photos of targets or steal a photo from an online source toalter images in damaging ways or add cruel or derogatory commentsand post them online for others to see. One very concerning trend isthe videoing of students being beaten, and then having these posted onvideo sharing sites.

Exclusion – Being excluded from participating in online activitieswith their peers, which can bring on feelings of rejection. Exclusionmay occur in an online gaming environment, group bloggingenvironment, or any other password-protected community. Exclusionmay also occur in an instant messaging or text messaging environmentwhen a cyber bully pointedly excludes their target from the buddy listof a group of students.

Flaming – A heated, short-lived argument that often includesoffensive, rude, and vulgar language, insults and sometimes threats.Flaming can occur via text or instant messaging, in blogs of socialnetworking sites, chat rooms, discussion boards, or online gamingsites.

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Outing –Disclosing secrets or personal and private information aboutthe target that embarrasses or humiliates him or her. A common wayto “out” someone is to forward a message from the target that containsintimate, personal information to others.

Posing – A form of indirect attack where a cyber bully creates Websites pretending to be the target, or, using the target’s user accessinformation, posts defamatory comments on other sites; when thecyber bully pretends to be the target and says mean things about thetarget’s friends, it can cause those friends to reject them.

Name that Tactic: After being introduced to the above list the students willbe given the following scenarios or the scenarios can be read to them and beasked to identify what tactic was used.

For the scenarios below, which bullying tactic (posing, outing, flaming,bashing,exclusion) is each an example of:

1. Tom and Jim had never liked each other, especially on the soccer field.After practice they would use electronic messages to send insults and calleach other names. Finally, Jim told Tom he better watch his back at soccerpractice the next day.__________________ (Bashing)

2. Sandy and Kim were fairly good friends, but Sandy was secretly enviousof Kim because John was her boyfriend. One afternoon, they were workingon a social studies project on the computer at Kim’s house. Sandy watchedKim log onto her email and in the process discovered Kim’s password anduser name. Later, Sandy logged on to Kim’s account and, pretending to beKim, sent a hurtful message to her boyfriend.__________________ (Posing)

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3. Thomas was a fairly popular seventh grader. But he had been overweightmost of his life and was sensitive about the other guys seeing him changeclothes in the locker room. Seth, a new student having trouble makingfriends, used his cell phone to take a picture of Thomas with his shirt off inthe locker room. By the time the next class started, this unflattering pictureof Thomas was flying around school._______________________ (Outing)

4. Alisha had tried really hard to fit in with a group of popular girls atschool. She had a disagreement with the leader of this group and now thegirls have all blocked her fromtheir IM accounts. (Exclusion)_______________________

5. Sara was recently honored for her good grades. Kim, a girl who had beena friend of Sara’s, felt she was getting stuck up, so she created a “SaraThinks She’s Better” Web site. There Kim, with help from some friends,posted some unflattering jokes and untrue gossip about Sara.

________________________ (Flaming)

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Activity Five

The Creation of Cyber Bullying Public Service Announcement. Thestudents should be broken into pairs and prepare a public serviceannouncement designed to create awareness about the topic of cyberbullying. This announcement can be a “radio spot,” a television message(skit), or even a PowerPoint presentation. In preparing this announcementthe students should realize that an effective public serviceannouncement is for the good of the community and it must:

Attract the attention of your target audience (Create awareness and aneed: to stop cyber bullying)

Speak to the audience in their own language (use terms that parentsand teachers can relate to)

Relate to the audience’s lives (Are their students or children beingcyber bullied?)

Deliver a single core message (Stop cyber bullying) Deliver the message with clarity (To the point) Motivate the audience to act. (What can be done?)

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Activity Six

Social Media Friend or Foe. This is a great activity for middle or highschool students. It creates a lively debate and has the students researchingboth sides of the social media dilemma The class will be divided in half.One half, the Pro side, will prepare to defend the following statement:

Social Media has allowed for greater convenience and has created anenvironment for people to get to know each other much more easily.

The other half, the Con side, will prepare to defend this statement:

Social Media has invaded privacy and allows for individuals to bullyand harass people at a much greater rate than in the past.

The debate begins with the Pro team presenting their case for 5 minutes.While the Pro team presents, the Con team should be developing challengequestions. The Con team has 10 minutes to ask rebuttal questions.

Now the Con team presents their case for 5 minutes and the Pro teamchallenges for 10 minutes.

Next there is a 15 minute preparation period for each side to construct theirclosing arguments. The Con team has 3 minutes to present their closingstatements, followed by the Pro team closing statements. One member fromeach side with the instructor will decide the winner.

From its inception technology has been used to create worldwidecommunication and convenience. Convenience being the keyword; anythingcan now be written to anyone at any time. Cyber bullying is something thatcan be done anywhere at any time. What can be done to control the impulsethat drives someone to bully on line or by using the social media?

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Activity Seven

Creation of an Acceptable Use Policy for Cyber BullyingSchools normally have an acceptable use policy for internet use. Educatingstudents about acceptable media use both in and out of school is becomingmore and more important for teachers. Classroom teachers should not onlybe aware of what is acceptable and not acceptable but also be able to teachthis to their students. Students regard digital technologies as powerful andcompelling tools for learning, productivity, communication andcollaboration. Thoughtful, progressive policy realizes the potential oftechnology and acknowledges that ICT (information and communicationtechnology) must be broad-based and used intensively by educators,administrators and students ― the critical dynamic if teachers and students are to communicate, share new knowledge and extend learning beyondschool walls and classroom hours.. The students will in cooperativegroups develop an acceptable use policy that they can use a guideline forinternet use and cyber bullying.

Four Big Ideas for Your Acceptable Use Policy

Responsible personal conduct within the online environment is nodifferent than responsible personal conduct face-to-face. (You don’ttext something that you would not say in person)

Individuals must protect personal safety online. (How can I beaffected by social media?)

Civic life has an expanding digital dimension that demandsresponsible engagement by individuals and groups. (Am I responsiblefor my words and actions?)

There are long--lasting implications to publishing in the onlineenvironment. (How am I affecting another person?)

Once the acceptable use policy has been developed the class will share theirpolicy with the class. This policy should be developed based upon gradelevel and be language specific to both younger and older children. Theschools’ role in this is to educate the students regarding the potentialdamage that can be done by cyber bullying.

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Activity Eight

Positive Self Talk Game – Research indicates that 77% of self talk isnegative and for every minute of a negative thought, it requires 100minutes to change. Have the students write a series of put downs onindividual slips of paper. (No obscene language, personal, or racistcomments). Drop the slips into a hat or container. Invite one student to drawa slip out of the hat and give it to you. Write the put down on chart paper.Have the class form two lines with enough space between them for you andthe student to walk comfortably. As you and the student walk through thegroup, the other students call him/her the name, or use the put down.Meanwhile, you whisper positive comments in the student’s ear. (Example:“You’re not like that.” You can stay calm.” “Don’t believe what they say.”“You’re more mature than they are.” Next, the students walks back throughthe group alone using positive self talk (I’m not like that,” etc. Repeat thisprocess with other students.

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Activity Nine

Messages From ME-ME – Have the student’s select four statements fromthe list below and write the statements down on an index card. With a hole-punch, put a hole in each corner and tie some yarn or string to each corner soit is long enough to put over their head. Have the participants wear this cardthroughout the day. With a little creativity these statements can belaminated, reduced and made into key rings for the students. it is a greatway to reinforce the sayings especially when students are in difficultsituations.

“I DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH KINDNESS AND RESPECT.”

“I’m special and unique.”“I’m creative and talented.”

“I CAN SET GOALS AND REACH THEM.”“I can solve problems.”

“I can ask other people for help.”“I have a right to be imperfect.”

“I have a right to make mistakes.”“EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES.”

“I can learn from my mistakes.”“I’m valuable and worthwhile . . . just the way I am.”

“I CAN GET THROUGH THIS.”“I’m learning and growing.”

“I’m not alone.”“I’M OKAY.”

“I’m strong and capable.”“Even if I don’t feel so great right now, I’ll feel better soon.”

The previous two activities have been adapted from “The Bully Free Classroom” byAllan L. Beane. Ph.D

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Activity Ten

Wrinkled Wanda – On chart paper, have the participants trace an outline ofa full body person. Once the outline has been traced, the participants willwrite unkind, rude, and disrespectful statements all over the outline. Theseare statements that could be made to another person like, “You’re a loser,Nobody likes you, You are dumb.” Identify the drawing as a girl namedWanda. After Wanda is completely filled with a variety of negativecomments, have the participants crumble the drawing, and then un-crumbleit. Post the wrinkled drawings around the room. Explain to the class thatthese drawings are examples of what negative comments can do to a personwho is bullied. Bullying comments can destroy a person’s self image andoften leads to a defeated body language in the victim.

Next have the participants do the drawing again. This time write as manypositive comments on the drawing as possible. Statements like, “You didsuch a nice job, or I enjoy your friendship. Fill it with really nicestatements. Cut this drawing out, but don’t wrinkle it. Post these drawingsaround the room. This person is now just called Wanda. What is thedifference between the two?

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Activity Eleven

The Toothpaste Activity – Ask for a volunteer to come to the front of theroom. Place a strip of masking tape on the length of the table. With a tube oftoothpaste, have the volunteer run a bead of toothpaste on the length of themasking tape. Now ask the participant to put the toothpaste back in the tube.Obviously, it can’t be done. This is an example of how hurtful words oncespoken cannot be taken back. Bullies say hurtful words frequently and needto know the impact that their words have on their victims.

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Activity Twelve

Who am I? This activity requires an illustration about something thathappened to me from the time I was in the 6th grade until I graduated fromhigh school. My name is Jim and it became rather endearing to some to callme Jimbo. I really didn’t mind it but someone decided to drop the Jim atsome point and call me Bo. I accepted the handle but way down deep I wishthat folks would just call me by my real name, Jim. Oh, everyone meant noharm, but my parent’s, teachers, friends, coaches, all called me Bo. I didn’thave the heart to tell them that I didn’t like it. I lived with it. Once I got tocollege, I made everyone aware that my name was Jim. Often we as teacherscan call students by names that we hear other students call them, and maynot even be aware that they may not like being called certain names.Address your students by their actual name to avoid leveling the ground andjeopardizing your authority. If you have any question about this askyourself what Beaver Cleaver’s teacher called him. “Theodore.”

Have the participants write down on a sheet of paper names that they werecalled when they were younger or that they may even be called now. Afterthey have done this have them crumble up the paper and throw it in thegarbage can as indicator that they will never be called this name again. Nexthave the participants write down on another sheet of paper what they want tobe called as an indicator that this is what my name actually is.

In their classrooms teachers can have their students do this activity and writedown the names that they want to be called and with the use of a name bookdescribe all the positive attributes that that their name has connected with it.For example, James means truthful. Post the students names around theroom on laminated cards and celebrate each students name, what it means,and who they are.

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Activity Thirteen

Character Education and Respect – Bullying behavior displays a lack ofregard for the rights and privileges of another person. Often teachers willfocus on the behavior and ignore the root problem of disrespect. Charactereducation is mostly taught in an haphazard manner and is almostceremonious in nature. Bullies are anti social, lack empathy and conscience.It is extremely important to incorporate lessons that speak to thedevelopment of character and emotional intelligence. Have the students inpairs come up with synonyms for the word respect. While the students are inpairs have them share one unique thing about themselves to their partner.Some examples might be: esteem, honor, regard, value, cherish,appreciate, admire. Have them share their list with the class and postthese synonyms around the room.

Valuing the Differences – Everyone has different qualities that make themunique. Bullies usually focus on the weaknesses of others and have littleregard for the differences that another person has. They do not value thevery unique qualities of others.

A Truly Unique Person – The students will now in cooperative groupsdraw a truly unique person. Each person in the group will be responsible fordrawing one or more body parts and explain why they believe that it isunique. Follow the following format.

Draw a truly unique person, one part at a time. Create a totally unique person, with a head drawn by one student, a

torso drawn by another student, and lower body drawn by another. Define the most positive qualities of this person. Display the drawings in the room

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Websites

AWARENESS OF ANGER – LESSON PLANhttp://www.teachablemoment.org/elementary/anger.htmlA lesson plan for grades 3-6 on anger management. "Students will describethe ways people communicate and physically react when they have strongfeelings, especially anger. Students will recall and describe a time they gotangry." Excellent

A BAD CASE OF BULLYING: USING LITERATURE RESPONSEGROUPS – LESSON PLAN http://www.readwritethink.org/classroom-resources/lesson-plans/case-bullying-using-literature-77.html#resourcesA lesson plan on bullying for grades 3-5. "This lesson provides anopportunity for students to reflect upon and personally relate to a teacherread-aloud of a narrative story. The lesson could be used with otherstories; however, A Bad Case of Stripes allows for a personal connectionby having students reflect on similar situations or emotions in their ownlives. Acceptable behaviors and ways to prevent bullying in the classroomand school are also discussed." Excellent

BE STRONG, BE MEAN OR GIVE IN? – LESSON PLANShttp://www.teachablemoment.org/elementary/strong_mean_giving_in.htmlTwo lesson plans on assertiveness and bullying for grades 3-5. "In thefollowing two lessons, we apply ideas of assertiveness to the kinds ofsituations children face daily, and give them a chance to practice skills instanding up for themselves and being strong." Excellent

BUILDING A CLASSROOM COMMUNITY AND "BULLY-FREEZONE" – LESSON PLANhttp://www.pbs.org/parents/itsmylife/lesson_plans/bullies_classroom_community.htmlA lesson plan for grades 3-7 on establishing a classroom community free ofbullying. "Almost all children, at some point in their childhood, willexperience or be affected by bullying behaviors. For the safety and welfareof ALL children in a positive learning environment, it is essential forteachers to establish a learning community void of bullying behaviors andto facilitate a sense of community in the classroom. This includes teachingchildren skills to deal with bullies, as well as promoting positive social

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skills such as cooperation, communication, and conflict resolution."Requires internet access to video clips on the site. Excellent

BULLYING PREVENTION LESSON PLANShttp://www.peelregion.ca/health/bullying/howtouse.htm

A collection of lessons plans, arranged for monthly use on preventingbullying. "These lesson plans are intended to be used in schools as part ofa comprehensive approach to bullying prevention. Experience has shownthat the most effective and consistent use of these lessons occurs in schoolswhere the in-class lessons were introduced 6-12 months after the launchof a comprehensive bullying prevention initiative. At this point, staff statedthey felt like the lessons were part of a larger vision, and not just another'download' to teachers. Consistency and sustainability have been the maingoals of the Peel Health Bullying Prevention Initiative and, therefore, ofthe classroom sessions. The lessons are meant to be used as an entireschool. The goal is to have every teacher address the issue of bullying byusing the lesson plans with their class. Relying on support staff to teach allthe lessons simply results in a lack of consistency and underminessustainability.Ten Lesson Plans: There are 10 lesson plans - one for each month of theschool year. The order of the lesson plans was based on logicalprogression, teacher experience and evaluation. Because the activity ofone month is often based on knowledge or resources from a previousmonth, it is recommended to follow the lessons in order. The lessons areidentified by month, so schools starting to use the lessons in Septembersimply use the corresponding months. Schools starting at another time ofyear are encouraged to begin with September as month one, and continuethrough the lessons until year end." Excellent

BULLYING REALITY QUIZhttp://www.educationworld.com/a_lesson/00-2/lp2064.shtmlA lesson plan for grades 6-12 on bullying. "Students take a quiz aboutschool violence and create their own quiz on bullying." Very Good

CONFLICT AND WIN-WIN SITUATIONS – LESSON PLANShttp://www.teachablemoment.org/elementary/conflict%20and%20win-win.htmlTwo lesson plans for grades 3-6 on conflict and win-win situations. "Thefirst lesson introduces students to the concept of conflict, helps themconsider that conflict is a normal part of life and does not have to lead to

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violence, and asks them to consider examples of conflict in their own lives.In the second lesson, students practice coming up with "win-winsolutions" to conflict." Excellent

CONFLICT RESOLUTION LESSON PLANShttp://www.teachervision.fen.com/classroom-discipline/resource/3038.htmlFifteen lesson plans for grades K-12 on conflict resolution. Use inassociation with bullying lessons. Excellent

CYBERBULLYING: WHAT IS IT? WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT IT?– LESSON PLANhttp://www.teachablemoment.org/high/cyberbullying.htmlA lesson plan for high school students on cyberbullying. "In the pastmonth, six gay teenagers have committed suicide after being tormented bybullying or cyberbullying. To help teachers address this issue,Morningside Center for Teaching Social Responsibility has posted severalnew classroom lesson plans on TeachableMoment.Org. The lesson belowaims to raise students' awareness about how to make their school andcommunity a safe and welcoming place for everyone." Excellent

CYBERSPIES IN CYBERSPACE – LESSON PLANhttp://learning.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/03/17/cyberspies-in-cyberspace/A lesson plan for high school students on teen use of the Internet. "Overviewof Lesson Plan: In this lesson, students will explore their parents’ and/orguardians’ concerns about safety in cyberspace and draft individuallyprepared parent/guardian-teen contracts about Internet usage." Excellent

DO SOMETHING ABOUT…SCHOOL VIOLENCE UNIT –CURRICULUM UNIThttp://www.lessonplanspage.com/SSODoSomethingAboutSchoolViolenceUnitDay1Bullying912.htmA unit on bullying and school violence for grades 9-12. "The followinglesson is the first lesson of a 10-day School Violence Unit from DoSomething, Inc." Excellent

HALL MONITORS: SCHOOL REPORTERS PROBE THE HEARTOF SCHOOL VIOLENCE – LESSON PLANhttp://learning.blogs.nytimes.com/2003/03/13/hall-monitors/A lesson plan for grades 6-12 on school violence. "In this lesson, students

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will investigate the incidence of different types of violence that occurs intheir schools, and question local authorities about the best ways to reduceviolence in school." Excellent

A HIGH-INTEREST NOVEL HELPS STRUGGLING READERSCONFRONT BULLYING IN SCHOOLS – LESSON PLAN

http://www.readwritethink.org/classroom-resources/lesson-plans/high-interest-novel-helps-390.htmlA lesson plan covering several sessions for grades 9-12 using a realistic,high-interest novel as a basis for discussion. Excellent

NO PLACE FOR BULLIES – LESSON PLANhttp://learning.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/12/18/no-place-for-bullies/A lesson plan for high school students on bullying. "Overview of LessonPlan: In this lesson, students reflect on the bullying in their community,hold an anonymous discussion about bullying and suggest solutions to theproblem." Excellent

PHOEBE PRINCE’S SUICIDE HIGHLIGHTS THE PRESSINGISSUE OF BULLYING – LESSON PLANhttp://www.teachablemoment.org/high/prince.htmlA lesson plan for high school classes on the issue of bullying. Includesstudent readings and discussions. Excellent

PLAYGROUND BULLYING – JUDICIAL FAIRNESS – LESSONPLAN http://www.mnciviced.org/vertical/Sites/%7B3F0B4D55-996C-4AB9-841A-ACA00304CEE0%7D/uploads/%7BBD5D7D2C-B697-4C40-98F7-B99E2E650586%7D.PDFA lesson plan for grades 4-6 on bullying and fairness. "Students will discussthe idea of "fairness" and "fair" decision-making, and how things judgessay or their behavior in the past might affect both the judge’s ability to befair and a person’s perception of the judge’s fairness." Excellent

RESOURCES ON BULLYING AND CYBERBULLYING –TEACHING RESOURCEhttp://learning.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/28/resources-on-bullying-and-cyberbullying/A teaching resource from the NY Times. Includes a list of lesson plans andarticles as well as links "Bullying, hazing, harassment: Whatever you want

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to call it, educators and parents are focusing on it more and more. Aparticularly thorny issue is how best to get involved when kids use digitaldevices and social networking sites to torment their peers.In the past few months, Times reporters have looked at the pros and consof antagonistic relationships and close friendships and the role of suchrelationships in bullying, as well as teens’ use of social networking sites toinsult one another. You likely also remember coverage of the PhoebePrince case." Excellent

SHOULD HATE BE OUTLAWED? – LESSON PLANhttp://www.crf-usa.org/school-violence/should-hate-be-outlawed.htmlA lesson plan for junior/senior high students on hate and hate crimes. Itdiscusses specific hate crimes and the reaction of the community includingattempts to legislate against this. Excellent

STUDENT VIOLENCE IN AMERICA’S SCHOOLS – A NEW YORKTIMES ISSUE IN DEPTH – LESSON PLANShttp://www.nytimes.com/learning/general/specials/schoolviolence/index.htmlAn in-depth examination of school violence from the New York Timesincludes News Summaries, a Web Guide (links), and Lesson Plans.Excellent - Also in the Websites section.

TEACHING "THE LORD OF THE FLIES" WITH THE NEW YORKTIMES – LESSON PLANShttp://learning.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/08/05/teaching-the-lord-of-the-

flies-with-the-new-york-times/A lesson plan for high school students on the relevance today of Golding’s"Lord of the Flies". "Earlier this year, we asked students and teachers toname the books they love to read and teach. Books like "The Catcher inthe Rye" and "To Kill a Mockingbird" were favorites among teachers andstudents alike. Teachers also weighed in on the books they least enjoyedteaching. And "The Lord of the Flies" made the short list. Yet WilliamGolding’s 1954 novel, which has been published in 26 languages andinspired two films, endures as required reading on high school and collegecampuses. So, here are some resources to complement your reading of thisclassic text that we hope will help move it off of your, and your students’,"least favorite" lists. And teachers, we would love to hear how you teach"Lord of the Flies." What works well? Please share your ideas and

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experiences!" Includes several lesson plans, crossword puzzles and links.Excellent

‘A TROUBLING TREND’: DISCUSSING BULLYING ANDANTIGAY ATTITUDES – LESSON PLANhttp://learning.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/10/05/a-troubling-trend-discussing-bullying-and-antigay-attitudes/A lesson plan from the NY Times on bullying and student suicide for highschool students. "Overview | What is the societal climate for antigaybullying in schools and a recent rash of related student suicides? What, ifanything, can be done to make schools safer and more inclusive? In thislesson, students examine and discuss responses to the recent suicides thathave occurred amid antigay bullying and complete an optional campaignto foster safety and acceptance at their own school." Excellent

WEB LESSONS ON SCHOOL VIOLENCEhttp://www.crf-usa.org/school-violence/school-violence.htmlA collection of lesson plans on school violence from the ConstitutionalRights Foundation. Excellent

CLIQUES, FRIENDSHIP GROUPS OR BOXES? – LESSON PLANS

http://www.pbs.org/inthemix/educators/lessons/schoolviol2/index.htmlA two-lesson unit on school friendships. "For grades 9-12. As with allsocial beings, adolescents need a peer group that they feel comfortablewith. However, they often then feel trapped by their social group or cliqueor feel shunned by another group. This lesson helps students explore thesocial "boxes" that they place themselves in or are put in by others, andfocus on how they judge one another. The lesson can also serve as atraining session for students who wish to be Big Brothers and Sisters toincoming freshmen, or student facilitators of Human Relations groups--two programs that promote a greater sense of community within schools."The link to the video is broken. Very Good

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EXPLORING THE NATURE OF CONFLICT – LESSON PLANhttp://www.teachervision.fen.com/page/2919.htmlA lesson plan for elementary/middle school students on conflict. Studentswill construct" Students will distinguishdefinitions of conflict andviolence Students will identify what isbetween conflict and violence.Students will analyze a conflict theypositive about conflict haveexperienced." Very Good

I-MESSAGES AND THE ASSERTIVENESS LINE – LESSONPLANhttp://www.teachablemoment.org/elementary/imessages.htmlA lesson plan for grades 3-6 on assertiveness. "This is a strategy that issometimes useful in dealing with problems that come up with friends andfamily, people who are likely to care about our feelings." Very Good

THE IMPACT OF VANDALISM – LESSON PLANhttp://tre.ngfl.gov.uk/server.php?request=cmVzb3VyY2UuZnVsbHZpZXc%3D&resourceId=12321A lesson plan from England easily adaptable to U.S. primary classroomsevaluates the impact of vandalism. "Two lesson plans, photographs and achildren's activity sheet for Year 2. In the first lesson children identify thedifferent ways in which vandalism can damage the natural and builtenvironment. In the second lesson the children work in pairs to order actsof vandalism by severity." Very Good

MANAGING ANGER – LESSON PLANShttp://www.pbs.org/inthemix/educators/lessons/schoolviol3/index.htmlA two-lesson unit on anger management. "For grades 9-12. This lessonplan is designed to teach anger management and conflict resolutionthrough the "I-Message" communication technique and other groupactivities." The link to the video is broken. Very Good

A PRIMER ON PEER MEDIATION – LESSON PLANShttp://www.pbs.org/inthemix/educators/lessons/schoolviol1/index.htmlA two-lesson unit on peer mediation. "For grades 9-12. This lesson hasbeen designed to introduce students to the process of mediation. If PeerMediation is an ongoing program at your school, this lesson can be usedto inform students of what they can expect if they choose to solve aproblem through mediation. It can also be used to encourage students totrain to become mediators. If Peer Mediation is new to your school, this

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lesson can be the jumping-off point to bringing a training program intoyour building. If possible, the PBS In the Mix episode "School Violence:Answers from the Inside" should be used because it shows an actualmediation (re-enacted) and shares viewpoints from both the participantsand the student mediators." Includes a video clip from another source if thevideo is not available. Very Good

TV BULLIES – INTERACTIVEhttp://www.sciencenetlinks.com/sci_update.php?DocID=266An interactive lesson on the correlation for TV watching among youngchildren and later bullying behavior. "Childhood bullying is an age-oldproblem that’s drawing more and more concern from parents. A recentstudy identified several factors that influence a child’s chance of becominga bully." Very Good

BULLYING REALITY QUIZ – LESSON PLANhttp://www.education-world.com/a_lesson/00-2/lp2064.shtmlA lesson plan for grades 6-12 on bullying. "Students take a quiz aboutschool violence and create their own quiz on bullying." Good

KIDS BULLYING KIDS – LESSON PLANNINGhttp://www.education-world.com/a_lesson/00-2/lp2055.shtmlAn article for planning a lesson on bullying. Good

PUPPET SKIT: DEALING WITH A BULLY – LESSON PLANhttp://www.teachablemoment.org/elementary/bully_puppet%20skit.htmlA puppet skit and lesson for grades K-1 on dealing with a bully. You need toprovide hand puppets. Good

TEACHING GUIDE: BULLYING FOR GRADES K-5http://www.goodcharacter.com/GROARK/Bullying.htmlIncludes information, class discussion starters, home assignments and more.A companion to a video but includes good general information. Good

WHAT ABOUT FIGHTING? – LESSON PLANhttp://www.teachervision.fen.com/page/2962.htmlA lesson plan for grades 3-8 on fighting to resolve conflicts. Good

WHERE MONSTERS CAN GROW – LESSON PLANhttp://teachers.net/lessons/posts/780.html

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Section FourScenarios/Situations

Reporting Timelines

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Scenarios/SituationsBeginner, Intermediate, Advanced

These Scenarios/Situations are designed to help teachers thinkproactively and to come up with a solution to a bullying incident priorto it happening. They can be role played by your students or used togenerate class discussion.

Beginner Level

Scenario 1A student is walking down the hall by him/herself. Another studentwho is leaning on a locker with a friend sneers and says to their friend,“What a loser!” about the kid who just walked by.

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Scenario 2A girl reports to one of her best friends that she likes the new boy intheir class. The friend tells the boy that her girlfriend likes him. Hedoesn’t seem to care. The girl reports back to her friend that the boythinks that she is stupid, then laughs at her for even thinking that thisboy would like her.

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Scenario 3Several girls decide not to invite another girl to a party. They talkopenly in front of her about the party and make it obvious that she isnot invited.

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Scenario 4At a Halloween party, a student is taking a break and sits down at atable. The student is wearing a fancy costume. Two other studentscomment on the costume saying, “Your costume is STUPID. Did youmake it yourself or what?” They laugh and walk away.

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Scenario 5One student writes a mean letter about another student in the class. Theletter is passed on to several other students who read it, laugh and thenpass it on.

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Scenario 6A student reports to a teacher that they saw someone vandalizing schoolproperty. The teacher asks the vandal about it. The vandal says that itwasn’t him/her. Afterward the vandal approaches the original studentand says, “I know it was you who told. I am going to get you afterschool you punk.”

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Scenario 7A student walks into class where there is not assigned seating. His/Herusual seat is occupied. He says, “That’s my seat.” Get out of it.”

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Scenario 8In a Physical Education class after clear instructions to throw the ballbelow waist level in a game of bombardment, a student intentionallythrows the ball at another kid’s head.

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Intermediate Level

Scenario 1 - Obesity Discrimination

Setting – School lunchroom

Victim: Kendra is seated at a lunch table showing the “smiley” faceBystander: Sara or Sam is seated at an adjacent table with the Ally, HannahBully: Chris walks over from another table and begins speaking,

CHRIS: “WELL, if it isn’t Kendra our happy, French fry eating, extramayonnaise slopping classmate. REALLY, Kendra, don’t you ever gettired of buying extra large clothes from Wal-Mart? Sooner than later you’llhave to buy tents to fit into.”

(Sara or Sam overhears Chris and stops talking with Hannah,then pretends nothing is happening and continues to converse with Hannah).

(Hannah breaks off talking with Sara and walks over to Kendra’stable).

HANNAH: “Speaking of tents, Chris, what is your intent here? If it is todisturb our eating, or cause a scene, please do it somewhere else. Kendraand I happen to enjoy French fries as do most kids here. I bet Mrs. Hamiltonenjoys them too. Would you like to go with me to ask her? You might findout that there is a “big tent” of people who like French fries”. Kendra whydon’t you come sit with us?

(Chris backs away from Kendra and Hannah, as Kendra turns around hermask to the smiley face).

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Scenario 2 - Hearing Impaired Discrimination

Setting - School hallway

Victim: John is removing books from his locker. (smiley face is on).Bystander: Austin is at an adjacent locker, putting books in his.Ally: Brian, is at another locker talking to a friend.Bully: David is walking down the hall and quietly slides behind John.

DAVID: “Earth to John, can you hearrrrr me? Is your microphone notworking or is it your brain? My dog reacts more than you do when I talk tohim.

(John notices people looking behind him and smiling. He turns around andsees David. .

(Austin continues to smile as David speaks again).

DAVID: “Oh, excuse me. Did I disturb your silence? Maybe if you listenmore, you could speak so we could understand you.”

(Brian stops talking to his friend and moves between John and David andspeaks).

BRIAN: “David, doesn’t Mr. Chamberlain expect you in his classroom soonfor extra help. John and I are not on his mandatory help list. I wonder ifyou should listen more in class and talk less in the halls. John, let’s you andI go to the gym to shoot some baskets. You could help my game. Goodluck on your next science test, David. Later…”

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Scenario 3 - Ethnic Discrimination

Purpose is encouraging action plans for elementary, secondary studentsto develop allies and to minimize bullying.

Setting – Halftime, behind the stadium seating at a soccer match

Victim: Tsen with another Asian-American hanging out looking for girlsBystander: Joe, talking to Ally, Bill, about the first half playBully: George, part of a group of football players who have been drinkingGeorge begins.

GEORGE: HELLO, if it isn’t Tsennnnnnnsantional Chink, our residentChem. lab pet. I ‘betcha you are on your knees every day in front of Dr.Moore after lab. I think kneepads are more your style than lab coats. That’sprobably how you got your “A”. What do you think guys? Do you thinkbrown-nosed, Chinkistan, here, could be a good blocking dummy? Let’spractice “hitting the line”. He

(Bully, George, with arms outstretched move into Tsen, as Joe watches andremains silent). (Bill shouts, to the bleachers above).

BILL: “HEY! YOU GUYS UP THERE IN THE STANDS, CALL ACOP! We have a serious problem going on down here. Joe, DIAL 911 onyour cell phone, NOW! Then, run to the nearest parent or teacher and havethem get a cop or help down here, NOW! I’M going to stay here to be ableto testify HOW it happened and WHO made it happen. This makes ourwhole soccer team look bad as well as our school. We need to make sure itdoesn’t happen again. GO, NOW!

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These scenarios are designed to help strengthen the victim and to givehim/her the correct language in dealing with the bully. These should betaught to your students. The suggested victim response is listed at the end ofeach scenario. These should be rehearsed with your students.

Advanced Level

Scenario I

Materials Needed: Crumpled up piece of paper.

The bully and the victim are both seated in class. While the teacher iswriting on the board, the bully crumples up a piece of paper and throws it atthe victim’s head.

Suggested Victim Response:

Victim: “Thanks for throwing that paper at my head Mike.”Bully: “I’ll see you after class.”Victim: “OK. Should I get the Vice Principal now, or wait for you to make abigger mistake?”

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Scenario II

E Materials Needed: Two or three books

The victim is seated at a desk or table. The bully walks by and knocks thebooks off on to the floor. The bully keeps walking.

Suggested Victim Response:

“Thanks for knocking my books on the floor you bully.”Bully: “What did you say!?”Victim: “You shouldn’t need to pick on me to feel like a tough guy.”Bully: (Rolls his eyes. Blows air out his mouth and walks away.)

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Another Response:

Victim: “Thanks for knocking my books on the floor you bully.”Bully: “What did you say?”Victim: “You shouldn’t need to pick on me to feel like a tough guy.”Bully: “You better watch your mouth moron!” (Bully shoves the victim.)Victim: “I’m not afraid of you and I’m not going to fight with you. If youhurt me I’m going right to the office.”

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Scenario III

Props Needed: BackpackThe victim is in an empty locker-room after gym class. The bully walksaround the corner and looks to see if anyone is looking. He then walksbehind the victim and aggressively bumps into him.

Suggested Victim Response:

Victim: “Why can’t you just leave me alone? What do I have to do?”Bully: “You can kiss my butt and die.”Victim: “Well that’s not going to happen. Do I really have to get my parentsand the principal involved?Bully: “You do and you’re dead!Victim: “All right. Well you can’t say that I didn’t give you fair warning.

Another Response:

Victim: “Why can’t you just leave me alone? What do I have to do?”Bully: “You can kiss my butt and die.”Victim: “Well that’s not going to happen. Do I really have to get my parentsand the principal involved?”Bully: “You do and you’re dead!” (Bully shoves the victim.)Victim: Says nothing. Packs up and walks directly to the principal’s office totell.

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Scenario IV

The victim is standing in the hallway talking to a friend. The bully walks upand stands between the two friends, with their back to the victim. The bullystarts talking to the friend, as if the victim is not even there.

Suggested Victims Response: (Stepping around and speaking to the bully.)Excuse me Kerri, it’s very impolite to interrupt a conversation like that. Didyou not realize that we were talking?Bully: “No, I didn’t. I didn’t notice you at all.”Victim: “Well, I feel sorry for you then. You’re not going to keep manyfriends if you continue treating people that way.”Bully: “At least I have friends, and I’ll always have more friends than you.”Victim: That’s because I choose my friends carefully. The only kind offriends you’ll keep are the ones that are intimidated by you, no one likes abully. (Speaking to the friend now.) Is that the kind of friend you wantNatalie?

Another Response:

Victim: (Stepping around and speaking to the bully.) Excuse me Kerri, it’svery impolite to interrupt a conversation like that. Did you not realize thatwe were talking?Bully: “Whatever!”Victim: “’Whatever’ is right. ‘Whatever’ would make a person think that it’sok to treat others with such disrespect? I hope you learn better mannersbefore you lose all of your friends.”Bully: “You mean be like you, a dork with no friends you should hear whatpeople say about you?”Victim: That’s the difference between you and me. I don’t worry about whatpeople say, I worry about what I do. I’m very happy to have one or two goodfriends if you keep bullying people, you may never know what it’s like tohave a good friend.

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What Would You Do?

The following situations are designed to help teachers think ontheir feet and deal with a bullying problem on the spot.

Situation #1:

A teacher happens upon two students. She suspects thatsomething – maybe a bullying episode – has just happened butdidn’t directly witness anything. What she feels: “I didn’t actuallywitness it, so what can I do? But I’m left with a nagging feeling thatI ought to do something.”

Solution: Read body language and reactions to judge if a bullyingepisode has just occurred. A bully will respond calmly and will oftenmaintain eye contact. A victim will look away and respond minimally –he wants to be anywhere but there.He’s too afraid of being re-victimized as a tattletale to report while thebully is standing there. In an equal-power conflict, both children willprobably accuse each other! If you want to interview both students,separate them. Never expect that a victim will offer the truth in front ofthe bully. He won’t. Send the victim or target on his way, and make surethat you respond to the bully’s alleged behavior, even if your onlyresponse is to remind him/her that disruptive behavior will never betolerated. The point is you should not ignore the possibility of bullyingeven if you did not witness the behavior directly. Instead, emphasizethe school rules in the absence of enough evidence to impose aconsequence on the child.

Situation # 2

An adult witnesses a bullying incident and pulls aside bothchildren, who support each other by saying, “Aw, it was no bigdeal.” The adult doesn’t know how to respond since the victimseems to believe it was not important, even though it didn’t lookright.

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Solution: Remember that a victim will likely never report in thepresence of a bully. Just because they seem indifferent does not meanthat they really don’t care. Dismiss the victim (at least for now) andaddress the bully. Emphasize that disruptive behavior will not betolerated and apply appropriate discipline. It is up to adults – notstudents – to decide when an aggressive behavior merits discipline. Asthe adult, your judgment carries more weight than the judgment of thevictimized student.

Situation # 3

A teacher hears a thoughtless derogatory remark about anotherstudent. Students often feel free to use offensive language, in frontof both their friends and adults. When adults ask students aboutthis, they’re told that these words “mean something different tokids” and so they’re ok to use.

Solution: This may happen in your schools dozens of times each day,primarily because it is a self-reinforcing situation: adults ignore it,children do it more, and the more children say these things, the moreadults feel that there’s no point in addressing it. Derogatory remarks areoffensive, potentially illegal, and can cause significant problems forstudents outside of school, where they may be confused because schoolpersonnel tolerated them. Rather than focusing on interveningthroughout your school day – which can be an overwhelming task –focus instead on a workable area, for example, decide that you will onlybe the “language police” in your own classroom. The appropriateresponse is to regard a single offense as an opportunity to educate thatstudent, and to discipline students with increasing severity forsubsequent offenses. Initially this will be a largetask, but in the long run it will pay off significantly.

Situations and solutions taken in part from: The MassachusettsAggression Reduction Center, Bridgewater State College Bridgewater,Massachusetts. MARC

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Intervention Scenarios

1. An adolescent boy is found to have sexually assaulted a girl on the schoolplayground.

2. Several girls in secondary school have been identified as spreadingrumors about another girl being a lesbian. She is very angry about it.

3. A secondary schoolboy has been identified as continually upsettinganother younger boy by taunting him about his father being in jail. Whenasked to reflect on what he has been doing he feels ashamed of himself.

4. Two young boys are continually arguing and upsetting each other atschool. One of them has gained dominance.

5. A quiet, shy girl aged nine years is continually being ridiculed by somegirls in her class. She has started staying away from school. She tells theteacher about how upset she is.

6. A child keeps complaining that other students keep saying they don’t likehim.

7. A child in kindergarten is continually going around attacking and hurtingother children.

8. Some girls keep ridiculing one of their group because she is overweight.

9. A teenage boy has viciously attacked another boy causing him seriousinjuries. The parents of the attacker are dismayed that their son should dosuch a thing. Legal action is pending, but an alternative course of actionmay be acceptable to the boy and his parents.

10. Abusive comments have been put on the internet about the allegedsexual behavior of a 15 year old girl. The culprit has been identified.

11. Some girls have been constantly ridiculing a boy who has arrived at theschool from an orphanage in Croatia, because he does not know who hisfather is.

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12. Nasty emails are being received by an adolescent boy ridiculing him onthe grounds that he is gay. Inquires at the school reveal that a group of boysare continually harassing the boy.

13. Three black adolescents have been bullying a white student whom theyallege has been making racist remarks about them.

14. A 13 year old boy is repeatedly teased and called unpleasant names byanother, more powerful student who has persuaded other students to avoidthe targeted boy. There is also evidence that the targeted student isreceiving threatening and abusive text messages instigated by theidentified bully. As a result, the victim of this behavior is feeling angry,miserable, and often isolated.

15. The second graders are outside at recess. A group of three boys is offplaying by themselves. Another boy, Carl, approaches them and asks if hecan play with them. One of the three boys says that they have formed a cluband since Carl is not a member he cannot play. Carl asks about the club andthe boy says that Carl can not join the club. The boy says it is the “cool”club and Carl is not cool enough to be in the club.Carl keeps persisting, saying he wants to play and asking how he can getinto the club. Finally, the same boy says that if Carl smears dirt on his facethey will let him in the club. Carl points out that none of the other boys havedirt on their faces. The boys reply that it does not matter – if Carl wants tobe in the club that is what he needs to do.

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HIB Reporting and Investigation Timelines:

1. All acts of harassment, intimidation, or bullying (HIB) shall be reportedverbally to the school principal on the same day when the schoolemployees or contracted service provider witnessed or received reliableinformation regarding any such incident.

2. The principal shall inform the parents or guardians of ALL studentsinvolved in the alleged incident, and may discuss, as appropriate, theavailability of counseling, and other intervention services.

3. All acts of harassment, intimidation, or bullying shall be reported inwriting to the buildingprincipal within school two (2)days of when the school employee orcontracted service provider witnessed or received reliable information that astudent had been subject to harassment, intimidation or bullying.

4. An investigation shall be initiated by the principal or the principal’sdesignee within one (1) school day of the report of the incident and shallbe conducted by a school anti-bullying specialist. The principal may appointadditional personnel who are not school anti-bullying specialists to assist inthe investigation.

5. The investigation shall be completed as soon as possible, but not laterthan ten (10) school days from the date of the written report of theincident. In the event that there is information relative to the investigationthat is anticipated but not yet received by the end of the ten (10) day period,the school anti-bullying specialist may amend the original report of theresults of the investigation to reflect the information.

6. The results of the investigation shall be reported to the superintendentof schools within two (2) days of the completion of the investigation, andthe superintendent may decide to provide intervention services, establishtraining programs to reduce harassment, intimidation or bullying andenhance school climate, impose discipline, or order counseling as a result ofthe findings of the investigation, or take or recommend other appropriateaction.

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7. The results of each investigation shall be reported to the board ofeducation no later than the date of the board of education meeting nextfollowing the completion of the investigation, along with information onany services, provided, training established, discipline imposed, or otheraction taken or recommended by the superintendent.

8. Parents or guardians of the students who are parties of theinvestigation shall be entitled to receive information about theinvestigation, including the nature of the investigation, whether the districtfound evidence of HIB or whether discipline was imposed or servicesprovided to address the incident of HIB. This information shall be providedin writing within five (5)school days after the results are reported to theboard.

9. A parent or guardian may request a hearing before the board afterreceiving the information, and the hearing shall be held within ten (10)days of the request. The board shall meet in executive session for thehearing to protect confidentiality of the students. At the hearing the boardmay hear from the school-anti-bullying specialist about the incident,recommendation for discipline or services, and any programs instituted toreduce such incidents.

10. At the next board of education meeting following its receipt of thereport, the board shall issue a decision, in writing, to affirm. Reject, ormodify the superintendent’s decision. The board’s decision may be appealedto the Commissioner of Education, in accordance with the procedures setforth in law and regulation, no later than 90 days after the issuance of theboard’s decision.

11. A parent, student, guardian, or organization may file a complaintwith the Division on Civil Rights within 180 days of the occurrence ofany incident of HIB based on the membership in a protected group asenumerated in the “Law Against Discrimination,” P.L. 1945, c. 169 (C.10:5-1 et seq.)

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Resources

Books:

Beane, Allan L. PH.D., (2005) The Bully Free Classroom. Minneapolis, MN: Free SpiritPublishing Inc.

Beane, Allan L. PH.D., (2009) Bullying Prevention for Schools. San Francisco, CA:Jossey-Bass.

Swearer, S.M., Espelage, D.L., & Napolitano, S.A., Bullying prevention and intervention:Realistic strategies for schools. New York, NY: Guilford Press.

Espelage, D.L., & Swearer, S.M. (Eds.) (2004). Bullying in American schools: A social-ecological perspective on prevention and intervention. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence EribaumAssociates.

Burns, J., (2008) The New 3RS in Education: Respect, Responsibility, and Relationships.Booksurge Publishing.

Olweus. Dan, (2006) Bullying at School: What we know and what we can do. BlackwellPublishing.

Berman, Sheldon (1997). Children’s Social Consciousness and the Development ofSocial Responsibility. Albany, NY.

Haynes, Charles C. Teaching Social Responsibility

Relevant Publications That Can Be Obtained Through Libraries

The anti-bullying handbook. Sullivan, K. (2000). Oxford University Press. School Bullying and Suicidal Risk in Korean Middle School Students. Young

Shin Kim, Yun-Joo Koh and Bennett Leventhal. (2005). Pediatrics, 115, 357-363 The bully, the bullied, and the bystander: From preschool to high schools - How

parents and teachers can help break the cycle of violence. Coloroso, B. (2004).Harper Resource (2004)

Bullying in American Schools: A Social-Ecological Perspective on Preventionand Intervention. Espelage, D.L. & Swearer, S.M. (2004). Lawrence ErlbaumAssociates: Mahwah, NJ.

Peer harassment in school: The plight of the vulnerable and victimized. Juvonen,J. & Graham, S. (2001). New York, NY: Guilford Press.

Perceptions of peer abuse and suicidal behavior during adolescence. Hanish, L.D.,& Guerra, N. G. (2000). School Psychology International, 21(2), 213-223.

Schools where everyone belongs: Practical strategies for reducing bullying .Davis, S. (2004). Stop Bullying Now

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What Works- and Doesn't Work- in Bullying Prevention and Intervention.Limber, S., Snyder M. (2006). The State Education Standard, 7(1), 24-28.

And words can hurt forever: How to protect adolescents from bullying,harassment, and emotional violence. Garbarino, J. & deLara, E. (2002). Free Press

ARTICLES:

Five myths about bullying, Swearer, S.M., The Washington Post, December 30, 2010

www.danoah.com/2010/10/ - Memoirs of bullied kid.www.danoah.com/2010/10/ - Bullies, they’re not even human.

”Cross Cultural Evidence of Female Indirect Aggression" Osterman, Bjorkqvist, et al,Aggressive Behavior, Vol 24, pp 1-8

"The Meaning of Meanness: Popularity, Competition and Conflict Among Junior HighSchool Girls" Don E Merton. Sociology of Education, 1997, Vol. 70 pp 175-191

"Relational Aggression, Gender, and Social-Psychological Adjustment" N. Crick & J.Grotpeter. Child Development, 1995, Vol 66, pp 710-722.

Guess What I Just Heard! Indirect Aggression Among Teenage Girls in Australia Ed. LOwens, R Shute, P Slee. Aggressive Behavior, Vol 26, pp 67-83.

Children's Peer Cultures. William A. Corsaro and Donna Eder. Annual ReviewSociology, 1990, Vol. 16, pp. 197-220.

Relational Aggression, Gender, and Social Psychological Adjustment. Nicki R. Crick andJennifer K. Grotpeter. Child Development, 1995, Vol. 66, pp. 710-722.

Do Girls Manipulate and Boys Fight? Developmental Trends in Regard to Direct andIndirect Aggression. Kaj Bjorkqvist, Kirsti M.J.Lagerspetz and Ari Kaukiainen. InAggressive Behavior, 1992, Volume 18, pp. 117-127

Bully/Victim Problems Among Middle School Children. Michael J. Boulton and KerryUnderwood. British Journal of Educational Psychology. 1992, Volume 62, pp 73-87

The Cycle of Popularity: Interpersonal Relations Among Female Adolescents. DonnaEder. Sociology of Education, 1985, Vol 58, pp. 154-165.

Exclusion in Girls'Peer Groups: Ethnographic Analysis of Language Practices on thePlayground. Marjorie Harness Goodwin. Human Development 2002, Vol 45, pp.392-415.

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Cross-Cultural Evidence of Female Indirect Aggression. Karin Osterman, Kaj Bjorkqvist,Dirsti M.J. Lagerspetz, Ari Kaukiainen, Simha F. Landau, Adam Fraczek, and GianVirrorio Caprara. Aggressive Behavior, 1998, Vol. 24, pp. 1-8.

The Role of Overt Aggression, Relational Aggression, and Porsocial Behavior in thePrediction of Children's Future Social Adjustment. Nicki R. Crick. Child Development,1996, Vol. 67, pp. 2317-2327.

Peer and Self-Estimated Aggression and Victimization in 8-Year-Old Children From FiveEthnic Groups. Karin Osterman, Kaj Bjorkqvist, Kirsti M.J. Lagerspetz, Ari Kaukiainen,L Rowell Huesmann, and Adam Fraczek. Aggressive Behavior, 1994, Vol. 20, pp. 411-428

The Social Construction of Self-Esteem. John P. Hewitt. In Handbook of PositivePsychology. Oxford University Press, 2002. (Ed. Snyder & Lopez) pp. 135-147.

Social Interactions and Adjustment. Jeffrey A. Kelly and David J Hansen. In Handbookof Adolescent Psychology. (Ed. Vincent B. VanHasselt & Michael Hersen)

Theory of Mind and Peer Rejection at School. Badenes, Estevan, and Bacete. SocialDevelopment, 9, 3, 2000 pp. 271-282.

Does Low Self-Regard Invite Victimization? Susan K. Egan and David G. Perry.Developmental Psychology, 1998, Vol 34, No. 2, pp299-309.

Peer Victimization: Cause or Consequence of School Maladjustment? Becky J.Kochenderfer and Gary W. Ladd. Child Development, 1996, Vol, 67, pp. 1305-1317.

Psychological Pragmatics in Preadolescents: Sociomoral Understanding, Self-Worth, andSchool Behavior. Sandra Leanne Bosack. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 2003, Vol32, No. 2, pp 141-155.

Peer-Group Affiliation and Adolescent Self-Esteem: An Integration of Ego-Identity andSymbolic-Interaction Theories. B. Bradford Brown and Mary Jane Lohr. Journal ofPersonality and Social Psychology, 1987, Vol. 52, No.2, pp. 47-55.

Bullies and Victims: Their ego picture, ideal picture and normative ego picture. KajBjorkqvist, Kerstin Ekman, Kirsti Lagerspetz. Scandinavian Journal of Psychology, 1982,Vol 23, pp. 307-313.

Peer Victimization: Manifestations and Relations to School Adjustment in Kindergarten.Becky J. Kochenderfer and Gary W. Ladd. Journal of School Psychology, 1996, Vol. 34,No. 3, pp. 267-283.

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Organizations:

Educators for Social Responsibility (ESR)

The Southern Poverty Law Center

Teaching Tolerance

Character Education Partnership

Character Plus

The Center for Advancement of Ethics

Character at Boston University

Challenge Day

Podcasts:

This American Life #425, Slow to React. National Public Radio (NPR).

This American Life #424, Free School, Act 3.