Stepping Back

Stepping Back Mohammed Abid Yusuf, MRCP (UK) A lthough all adults will undergo bereavement at some point in their lives, every experience will be unique. As a doctor you are often challenged by the roles you are required to play during the palliative period of a loved one, and by the expectations heaped on you by family and friends. When my grandfather took a turn for the worst with sus- pected metastatic disease, he was admitted for anorexia; this had been a problem for many days, and he had progressively become unable to walk. With the family not knowing what was wrong and why he had become so unwell, as the only medically qualified person in the family I was on the receiving end of a whole barrage of questions. Why was he unwell? What had put him off his food? When would he be coming home? I had trouble knowing how much to tell each member of the family, and how much they really wanted to know; I also feared the repercussions from senior family members if I told someone something I should not have. My grandfather spoke no English, and the rest of my family spoke little; although his sons managed to communicate well enough with the health care team looking after him, there was always the hope that I would help facilitate through my role as a doctor. It is often difficult to resist doing this, but I found myself taking a step back and allowing the team looking after him to do their job. I believe that getting actively involved in treating my grandfather would have simply led to friction between the family and the medical team, to the detriment of his care; I now understand that at that time I was not thinking with a clear mind at all and my involvement would have caused much more harm than good. In retrospect, perhaps the best thing I did was removing my doctor’s cap when visiting him and behaving as a relative. The last days of a loved one’s life are particularly precious, and it should not have to be any more difficult an experience than it already is as a grandson. I am glad that I held back my professional side and was able to place my trust in my col- leagues, as I would hope for from relatives of my patients. Address correspondence to: Mohammed Abid Yusuf, MRCP (UK) Basildon & Thurrock Hospitals NHS Trust Nethermayne Basildon Essex SS16 5NL United Kingdom E-mail: [email protected] Basildon & Thurrock Hospitals NHS Trust, London, United Kingdom. JOURNAL OF PALLIATIVE MEDICINE Volume 17, Number 4, 2014 ª Mary Ann Liebert, Inc. DOI: 10.1089/jpm.2013.0363 492

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Transcript of Stepping Back

Stepping Back

Mohammed Abid Yusuf, MRCP (UK)

Although all adults will undergo bereavement atsome point in their lives, every experience will be unique.

As a doctor you are often challenged by the roles you arerequired to play during the palliative period of a loved one, andby the expectations heaped on you by family and friends.

When my grandfather took a turn for the worst with sus-pected metastatic disease, he was admitted for anorexia; thishad been a problem for many days, and he had progressivelybecome unable to walk.

With the family not knowing what was wrong and why hehad become so unwell, as the only medically qualified personin the family I was on the receiving end of a whole barrage ofquestions. Why was he unwell? What had put him off hisfood? When would he be coming home? I had troubleknowing how much to tell each member of the family, andhow much they really wanted to know; I also feared therepercussions from senior family members if I told someonesomething I should not have.

My grandfather spoke no English, and the rest of my familyspoke little; although his sons managed to communicate wellenough with the health care team looking after him, there wasalways the hope that I would help facilitate through my role asa doctor. It is often difficult to resist doing this, but I found

myself taking a step back and allowing the team looking afterhim to do their job. I believe that getting actively involved intreating my grandfather would have simply led to frictionbetween the family and the medical team, to the detriment ofhis care; I now understand that at that time I was not thinkingwith a clear mind at all and my involvement would havecaused much more harm than good.

In retrospect, perhaps the best thing I did was removing mydoctor’s cap when visiting him and behaving as a relative.The last days of a loved one’s life are particularly precious,and it should not have to be any more difficult an experiencethan it already is as a grandson. I am glad that I held back myprofessional side and was able to place my trust in my col-leagues, as I would hope for from relatives of my patients.

Address correspondence to:Mohammed Abid Yusuf, MRCP (UK)

Basildon & Thurrock Hospitals NHS TrustNethermayne Basildon

Essex SS16 5NLUnited Kingdom

E-mail: [email protected]

Basildon & Thurrock Hospitals NHS Trust, London, United Kingdom.

JOURNAL OF PALLIATIVE MEDICINEVolume 17, Number 4, 2014ª Mary Ann Liebert, Inc.DOI: 10.1089/jpm.2013.0363

492