STELLENBOSCH UNIVERSITY

Sue Bakker & Dr Alan Jansen

1 & 2 November

A Mentoring Skills Workshop

Mentoring Agenda

• Introduction to Mentoring• The Learning Process• Integral+ Framework• The Mentoring Relationship• Mentoring Skills• The Mentoring Conversation• Developing a Mentoring Culture

TOWARDS A MENTORING FRAMEWORK Making your mentoring conscious & explicit

Who are you mentoring?To what end, what results

What outcomes?

PERSPECTIVES

PROCESS

PURPOSE

How you mentorMentoring models

Tools & techniques

What do you bring to mentoring?Your experiences & learnings

Your competences and passions

The Case for Mentoring

OrganisationalOutcomes

Behaviour

Personal ContributionDecisions Use of

Interactions made time with others

Thinking Feelings Values &

beliefs

Level of awareness

HAVE

DO

BE

“The success of an intervention

depends on the internal condition

of the intervenor”

Former CEO of Hanover Insurance, Bill O'Brien

Leaving a Legacy

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MENTORING DEFINITION

“Mentoring is a partnership in which a mentee is assisted in making significant advances in knowledge, perspective

and vision in order to develop their full potential; the mentor’s wisdom is utilized by the mentee to facilitate

and enhance new learning and insight.”

COMENSA

Stellenbosch University Definitions

• Mentoring is a sustained, voluntary, supportive relationship between an experienced person and another who is less experienced, where the mentors shares the benefits of their experience and their understanding of the values, goals, practices and culture of the organization.

• The primary goal is the nurturing, guiding and supporting of the junior professional’s personal and professional development. The agenda is based on the mentee’s needs and the learning agenda identified by the mentee.

• Mentoring is a protected relationship in which learning and experimentation occur through analysis, examination, re-examination and reflection on practice, situations, problems, mistakes and successes (of both the mentors and the mentees) to identify learning opportunities and gaps. Mentoring is about helping the mentee to grow in self-confidence and develop independence, autonomy and maturity. It is a relationship built on mutual trust and respect, openness and honesty where each party can be themselves.

Power

Process

Proactive / Reactive

Who setsagenda

Expertise

Differentiating

ABOUT MENTORING AND COACHING

Powerful processes for human development

MENTORING COACHINGSimilar skills

More directive Less directive

Domain specificTransfer of knowledge & skillsWisdom & experienceNetwork access

Non domain specificFacilitation of learningExpertise as coachOften External

CONSCIOUS COMPETENCE LEARNING MODEL

Adapted from Gordon Training

International and David

Baume

Pointer to potentials

that people already

possess but perhaps

are not fully utilising

or expressing

Integral Mentoring Map

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EXTERIOR

INTERIOR

INDIVIDUAL

COLLECTIVE

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P Paisley 2006 ©

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DOMAINS OF EXPERIENCE

A GPS SYSTEM FOR NAVIGATING LEADERSHIP COMPLEXITY

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Inside of Me

What are my beliefs? Values?Mental models?What assumptions do I hold?How do I connect to my emotions?Who am I? Do I cultivate presence?How aware am I?How insightful am I?

Behaviours

How do I show up?What is the state of my health?What language do I use?What explicit skills do I demonstrate?How do I listen?What is my role?Are goals set?

Environment and Systems

What impact does the current environment have on your team? How well does the team/dept/deliver on the strategy? How effectively are the systems implemented?How effective are the networks?

Relationships and Culture

What is the team’s/organisation’s purpose/vision?Who do you feel most connected/ disconnected to in your team?What are the shared values?What is the quality of relationships?How resourceful is the culture?

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THE MENTORING RELATIONSHIP

The Mentor’s World of Experience

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MODEL OF MENTOR COMPETENCE

Johnson, 2003

Abilities

Cognitive

Emotional

Relational

Competencies

Teaching

Mentoring

Communicating

Virtues

Integrity

Caring

Prudence

DOMAINS OF CONCERN

CAPACITY

AVAILABILITY

POTENTIAL

MENTOR’S ROLES

The Teacher

The Facilitator

The Networker

The Source of Information

The Advisor

The Nurturer

What is the Impact of diversity (race, culture, gender, age, personality) on

the mentoring relationship

MENTORING SKILLS

AwarenessActive Listening

QuestioningFeedback

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What influences

your

structure of

interpretation?All rights reserved TCC©

How Consciousness shows up

How Consciousness shows up

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ENCRYTPTED SCRIPTS BODY LANGUAGE / BEHAVIOUR

SPOKEN LANGUAGE

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Which impacts on …

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HOW WE SHOW UP… HOW WE RELATE…

HOW WE LEAD…All rights reserved TCC©

TAKE ACTION DATA

The “U” Ladder

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ADAPTBELIEFS

DRAWCONCLUSIONS

MAKEASSUMPTIONS

ADDMEANING

SELECTDATA

LADDER OF INFERENCE

The Essence of Mentoring - Listening

How do YOU listen?

How do WE listen?

What is the QUALITY?

What GETS IN THE WAY?

What are you AWARE of?

Who listened to you THE

BEST ?30All rights reserved TCC©

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LISTENING DOES NOT MEAN THINKING FOR THE SPEAKER!

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QUESTIONING

Build question frameworks

Asking incisive questions Questions that challenge thinkingQuestions that provide another perspectiveQuestions that open up possibilitiesQuestions that haven’t been thought of…

THE RIGHT QUESTION AT THE RIGHT TIME

Who, what, where, when, how……Avoid “why” questions (Why?)

• What’s working? • What’s not working?

• What would you like to do differently?

• What’s working? • What’s not working?

• What would you like to do differently?

3 STAGE QUESTION FRAMEWORK

Sunny Stout Rostron

What is important to you about ….?

What is important about that?

Anything else?

Ask repeatedly, to drill down to “bedrock” values

VALUES QUESTION FRAMEWORK

QUESTIONS EXERCISE

Develop at least 4 questions which help your mentee:

Develop their goals/outcomes

Understand their current reality

Explore their options

Decide on their actions to achieve their goals

FEEDBACK , given appropriately :

•Is meant to improve effectiveness & be developmental

•Focuses on performance, not personalities

•Is specific, with evidence

•Helps person explore

•Provides acknowledgement

•Is two way!

FEEDBACK

GUIDELINES TO GIVING FEEDBACK

EXTERNAL CONDITIONS• Timing

• make sure it is the right time (as close to the incident as possible)

• You have enough time to discuss the issue.

• Place - privacy and one in which the person feels safe

• Understand what is at stake. How high are the stakes for the person receiving feedback?

GUIDELINES TO GIVING FEEDBACK

INTERNAL CONDITIONS

• Clarify your own intentions. (Is it about helping the other person? Is it revenge? Is it to clear something up? Are you trying to make yourself look good?)

• Surface your own feelings, and try to understand how the other person might be feeling.

• Be humble and non-judgmental. Realise that just as the other person does not see themselves, you too might not see the whole picture.

• Own this as your own experience of the situation.

RELATIONAL CONDITIONS

• Ask if the person would like some feedback from you. Allow them to say no.

• Consider their needs. Be compassionate, listen and respond with empathy.

• Describe behaviour. Do not attempt to interpret.

• Focus on behaviour that can be changed.

• Be specific.

• Express feelings directly.

• Balance objective and subjective statements wisely.

• Allow the freedom to change or not to change.

GUIDELINES TO GIVING FEEDBACK

GUIDELINES FOR RECEIVING FEEDBACK

Be curious

Be open and undefensive

Notice your inner stance-centre yourself

Keep quiet & listen

Repeat & summarise

Check for clarity & understanding, ask for examples

Ask for ideas on how to improve

Explore options

Appreciate!

THE MENTORING CONVERSATION

ContractingTools and ModelsGoal settingLevels of conversationA mentoring programme

INTAKE PROCESS CORE ELEMENTS

1. CONTRACT - time, confidentiality, process

2. LOGISTICS - Intake form and written contract

3. MAKING EXPLICIT - Coaching definition and clarity around process

4. DISCOVERY - Find out your client’s story

5. DESIGNING - Identify the topic for coaching, outcomes, etc.

Adapted from Co-Active Coaching, Whitworth et al

CONNECT - Build rapport

PERMISSION - Is this acceptable?

DESIRED REALITY

CURRENT STATE

Mentoring Conversations

StrategicAwareness Strategic

Approach

StrategicActions

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Old HabitsOld Habits New HabitsNew

Habits

Letting ComeLetting Come

Letting Go

Letting Go

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DESIRED REALITY

CURRENT REALITY

Mentoring Conversations - Dialogue

Creating a new way of thinking

GapAnalysis

PlaceOf

Opportunity

Point ofleverage

StrategicAwareness Strategic

Approach

StrategicActions

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Connect To GROW Practice Model

REALITYWho/what/Where/how

much?

REALITYWho/what/Where/how

much?

TOPICInitial

understanding

TOPICInitial

understanding

OPTIONSWhat’s possible

OPTIONSWhat’s possible

WRAP-UPClarity/

commitment, support

WRAP-UPClarity/

commitment, support

GOALFor session

GOALFor session

CONNECTBuild rapport

CONNECTBuild rapport

PRACTICEWhat will youdo differently

PRACTICEWhat will youdo differently

Adapted from Sir John Whitmore

2. EXPLORING GOALS

3. AGREEING GOALS

CONTRACTING

5. SESSION

6. REVIEWSESSION

4. SESSION

8. SESSION

9. CLOSE1. INTAKESESSION

7.SESSION

MENTORING PROGRAMMEA series of mentoring sessions over time

Time / number depends on goals & mentee’s readiness for change

Begin with the end in mindFirst things first

THINGS THAT COULD HINDER MENTORING

• Too directive• Condescending• Power issues• No confidentiality• Not mature or experienced enough• Not ready to share experience• Poor communication

• Too defensive• Unclear about goals• Dependent• Power issues• Confidentiality• Unwilling to learn• Unclear expectations• Poor communication

• Unclear expectations

• Lack of reward or recognition

• No time or resource

support• Poor communication• Poor relationships• Chain of command

Mentor Mentee Organisational