State Family Programs FRG Basics Manual

FRG Handbook – Family Programs 1

Welcome to the FRG

Family Programs would like to thank you for your service and commitment to our Service members and

their families. It is because of people like you that we have such a successful Family Program in MN.

Being involved in the FRG takes time and dedication; these sacrifices will not go unnoticed. Our Service

members and their families will be positively affected by the work you have done and the work you

continue to do. You are the military’s unsung heroes…Thank you!

This manual was created from many different sources, some you will find as attachments and others you

will see as references. Please keep this manual and use it as a workbook for your FRG.

If you have any questions about the content or would like more information, please contact your State

Senior Family Readiness Support Assistant, Jan Fournier, [email protected] or 651.282.4208.

Thank you for all your hard work.

Jan Fournier

MN Senior Family Readiness Support Assistant

Family Programs

mailto:[email protected]


Table of Contents

Army Basics 3

Family Readiness Group Basics 5

Deployment Cycle 21

Effective Leadership in the FRG 29

Effective Communication 33

Treasurer’s Handbook 48


Army Basics It makes sense for FRG leaders to have a solid understanding of MN

National Guard culture and history. Leaders who increase their

understanding of military culture and history can more effectively align their

support and outreach and strengthen unit level connections.

The National Guard

The National Guard is the oldest segment of the Nation’s military. The National Guard became the first

citizen–soldier military whose role it was to protect the colonies. National Guard troops are now

organized by state and during times of peace, they are under the command of each state’s Governor.

National Guard troops respond to natural disasters and can also be called by the President of the United

States to support Federal missions.

The Minnesota National Guard

The MN National Guard has more than 14,000 Soldiers (Army) and Airmen (Air) serving. Many people

are surprised to learn that Minnesota, ranks 26th in overall population but has the fifth largest National

Guard Structure in the United States. Take a few minutes to explore the MN National Guard website at

http://www.minnesotanationalguard.org to learn more.

Military Terminology

The United States Military (active duty, guard, and reserve) has long been known to have unique

language and terminology. Acronyms and terms exist for many of the day to day activities and functions.

FRG Leaders may need to understand basic military terminology as it relates to information passed

down through Unit Leaders. Explore the following websites for acronyms and terminology:

http://www.dtic.mil/doctrine/jel/doddict/acronym_index.html

http://www.all-acronyms.com/tag/military

Military Rank

A ‘Rank” system classifies service members into Officer and Enlisted corps. A service member’s rank is

clearly identified on both working and dress uniforms. Rank defines pay grade and job responsibilities.

Rank also dictates a ‘chain of command’ that specifies the protocol for decision making and the way

individuals address each other. (An example of this is that only Officers are addressed as “Sir” or

“Ma’am”). See below:

http://www.minnesotanationalguard.org/

http://www.dtic.mil/doctrine/jel/doddict/acronym_index.html

http://www.all-acronyms.com/tag/military


Family Readiness Group

Basics

Family Readiness Groups (FRG) play an important role in linking

families to National Guard events at the unit level and providing a family communication network

essential for unit commanders. National Guard members can be ‘called up’ to respond to both state and

national emergencies. When this occurs, FRGs provide a vital cohesive function- connecting family

members to their loved one’s unit, providing support and resource referral information.

Official Definition of the Family Readiness Group:

According to AR 608-1, the FRG is; a commander’s program formed in accordance with AR 600-20 and

appendix J to provide activities and support that encourage self-sufficiency among its members by

providing information, referral assistance, and mutual support.

AR 608-1 continues to state; An FRG is a command-sponsored organization of Soldiers, civilian

employees, family members (immediate and extended) and volunteers belonging to a unit.

The mission of a Family Readiness Group:

Act as an extension of the unit in providing official, accurate command information

Provide mutual support between the command and the FRG members.

Help families solve problems by collaborating with civilian and military personnel and by referring to appropriate agencies & resources (i.e. Family Assistance Centers (FAC), Military One Source (MOS), and Red Cross, www.jointservicessupport.org, www.linkvet.com)

The FRG provides a connection to the unit through which families are able to develop friendships, and receive moral support.

Allow Commanders to have a connection to the pulse of family issues and needs, enabling a more effective timely response.

Because the FRG is an official program of the Army, regulations and guidance dictate certain aspects of

the program.


The FRG is NOT

The ladies’ coffee group- A coffee group (or several) may exist within the FRG, but they are not the same

thing – there is only ONE FRG per unit – and everyone tied to that unit is a VOLUNTARY member.

Although social activities are benefits of an FRG, social activities are not mission essential activities.

Just for deployment- Although primarily associated with deployment, the FRG is not JUST for

deployment. Support continues after the service member returns home.

Only for people with “problems”- The purpose of the FRG is to share mission essential information with

families and provide education and support designed to increase service and family member deployment

related resilience. When families need extra supports, the FRG will refer families to the appropriate

agency for assistance

A babysitting service- Childcare may be available at FRG meetings, but they are not a daycare or

babysitting service. Our State Youth Coordinator and/or FAC staff can assist with childcare resources

that may be available for families.

Part of the casualty notification process- Just to make things clear, the FRG is NOT part of the casualty

notification process. The FRG can have a “care team” that responds to the family LATER in casualty

assistance, but notification is not part of the FRG’s (or FRG Leader’s) responsibilities.

Fundraising entity for the unit- FRGs can fundraise (NO SOLICITING) within the unit to support their own

events and activities. There will be further discussion of this in the Funds and Fundraising Chapter.

Many volunteers, one FRG

In order to have an effective and efficient FRG many people must be involved. The Commander of the

unit, the FRG Leader, the FRG Treasurer, and the FRG Secretary are the key members of the leadership

group. There are other roles that can be added to this list as necessary, but for the sake of simplicity the

job descriptions of the major volunteers will be used in this handbook. All volunteers within the FRG

must first complete a Volunteer Agreement and fill out a DD Form 2793, both found at the end of this

chapter, before they begin volunteering. These forms must then be sent to the Senior Family Readiness

Support Assistant (SrFRSA).

The FRG leader

The main tasks of the Family Readiness Group leader are to organize and lead the unit's FRG. Inherent in

this job is the maintenance of effective relationships with Unit command staff and the FRG leadership

group.


FRG Leader tasks:

Supports the commander’s family readiness goals.

Is involved in the creation of the FRG SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures), Family Readiness Plan, and Communication Plan, found at the end of this chapter, with the commander.

Fills out and maintains FRG Charter.

Provides overall leadership for the FRG.

Works together with the Rear DET commander during a deployment in order to accomplish FRG goals during a deployment.

Recruits other volunteers to serve on FRG committees.

Recognizes FRG volunteers and welcomes newcomers. There are numerous opportunities for Leaders to put outstanding volunteers in for awards throughout the year. It is important that everyone involved feels they are appreciated and recognized, from a brand new member to a “veteran” volunteer.

Delegates FRG responsibilities to selected volunteers as committee chairpersons.

Informs commander of specific needs or unique problems of unit families. This must be done with care, understanding the specific needs of confidentiality and respect of the family.

Acts as unit FRG spokesperson for communicating family members’ concerns and ideas to the unit commander.

Prepares meeting agendas, facilitates meetings, oversees the production and distribution of the FRG newsletter and is responsible for preparing reports submitted to State Family Program Director (SFPD).

Responsible for ensuring copies of all correspondence, minutes, agendas, financial records etc. are kept in FRG files and unit Family Readiness Archives.

Seeks commander’s guidance concerning all events, activities and fundraisers for the FRG.

Ensures that all phone tree/ contact records are kept up-to-date.

The FRG Treasurer

The main role of the FRG treasurer is to serve as the custodian for the family readiness group informal

fund.


FRG Treasurer Tasks:

Obtains appointment letter from the commander.

Sets up fund account at local bank. The treasurer only needs to set up the account if there is not one already in place for the unit’s FRG.

Maintains FRG fund records and ledger; keeps it up to date at all times.

Receives and accounts for all funds submitted from fundraisers; prepares deposit slips, and deposits funds into the FRG account.

Disburses checks in accordance with FRG Leader and commander’s guidance.

Reviews monthly bank statements and reconciles with ledger; calls bank about any unexplained discrepancies.

Prepares monthly reports and presents them to FRG Leader and commander.

The FRG Secretary

The FRG secretary is responsible for keeping written records of FRG activities and supporting the

creation and distribution of the FRG newsletter.

The FRG Secretary:

Maintains a FRG binder with a calendar, current Chain of Concern roster (phone tree), sign-in sheets, agendas and minutes.

Submits copies of all records for the unit Family Readiness Binder to the FRG Leader.

Updates the contact roster with telephone numbers of new arrivals and reports changes to the FRG Leader.

Prepares the FRG newsletter. This is only if FRG decides this position has that responsibility.

Mails or distributes all FRG correspondence (including newsletter).

Activities of the FRG

The activities of an FRG fit into two basic categories: mission essential and non-mission essential.

Mission Essential

FRG Member Meetings. These meetings can be weekly, monthly or quarterly. Their frequency should be determined by the member’s needs and the Commanders guidance.


Maintain and Utilize Phone Tree Roster. It is important to keep scheduled communication with the FRG members. These communications should be recorded in the Phone Tree Log (further explained in later chapters).

FRG Staff / Committee Meetings. Maintaining a common understanding of the current issues and happenings is crucial to a successful FRG.

Newsletter publication / distribution. This not only keeps the family members updated on the FRG happenings but also allows the leadership team to stay on the same page.

Maintain family readiness information. Keep all of your resources in the community and state in an easy to use format and update them on a regular basis.

Non-Essential Mission Activities

Social activities. These are important for people to feel they have support, but should usually be paired with the distribution of information. Example: First half of FRG meeting is a class on a pertinent subject and the second half is for a social event.

Fundraising activities. The FRG is NOT a fundraising committee, though sometimes fundraising will be necessary. The rules and regulations of funds will be fully covered later in the handbook.

Important FRG Leader Relationships

One key to a successful FRG is the ability of an FRG leader and the Commander to function as a team. It

is important that both of the leaders support and communicate with one another regularly, using a

schedule they establish. In instances where these two leaders have widely divergent ideas and ways of

doing FRG business, the FRG may be plagued with problems.

Effective Relationships

The FRG leader must also create an effective relationship with the FRG leadership team. Often this is the

Secretary, Treasurer and Committee Chairpersons. The FRG leader’s ability to communicate and

empower these individuals is needed for a smoothly functioning group. Leadership is one of the most

critical and essential ingredients of an effective FRG.

The commander is responsible for the FRG and for supporting the efforts of the FRG leader, which puts

in clear perspective the authority and responsibility delegated to the FRG leader.


Family Readiness Plan

Unit: Date:

Commander:

FRG Leader:

FRG Treasurer:

FRG Mission Statement:

Essential FRG Leadership Tasks:

1.

2.

3.

4.

Essential Unit Commander’s Tasks:

1.

2.

3.

4.


FRG Main Communication Tools

Communication is the most important aspect of the FRG. Without proper communication, the

connection between families and the unit is lost. It is the responsibility of the Unit Commander to

ensure the appropriate forms of communication are used.

Communication between FRG Leader and Unit Commander

How:

Frequency:

Content:

Responsibility:

Communication between FRG Leader and FRG Leadership (co-leader, treasurer, secretary )

How:

Frequency:

Content:

Responsibility:


Communication between Unit Leaders and Families

How:

Frequency:

Content:

Responsibility:

Communication between FRG Leadership and Families

How:

Frequency:

Content:

Responsibility:

Other Essential Communication

How:

Frequency:

Content:

Responsibility:


Goals of the FRG

Establishing goals for a group is an important part of the FRG. It helps direct those in Leadership

positions and also creates camaraderie between FRG members. Knowing what everyone is working

towards will allow for a more focused and organized FRG.

Goal of FRG:

Steps to achievement:

Personnel Involved:

Financial Planning:

Other:


Goal of FRG:

Steps to achievement:

Personnel Involved:

Financial Planning:

Other:


The content of this Family Readiness Plan has been discussed and explained to both Unit Commander

and FRG Leader. Both Leaders agree to use their best judgment and expertise to carry out the

responsibilities and goals assigned to them, thus creating an organized and effective Family Readiness

Group.

_______________________ _______ __________________________________

CDR Print Name / Date FRG Leader Print Name/ Date

______________________________ __________________________________

CDR Signature FRG Leader Signature


Deployment Cycle We will utilize a three-stage model to address the deployment cycle.

It is critical to recognize that while these stages are helpful to understand the

total experience, each deployment is unique and individuals will respond in

unique ways.

Pre-deployment: from the time you are notified of deployment until you leave your home area.

Deployment: the time you are gone from home.

Re-Integration: from the notification of a pending return home, through returning to home area and

settling into routines.

Reported Family Stress

The National Military Family Association. (2005). Report on the Cycles of Deployment: An Analysis of

Survey Responses from April through September reveals that two distinct times during the deployment

cycle appear to be significantly more stressful for family members. Families identified the beginning and

middle of deployment as their greatest times of stress.

The Emotional Cycles of Deployment

Morse’s (2006) Emotional Cycle of Deployment

Stage 1: Anticipation of Departure

Stage 2: Detachment and Withdrawal

Stage 3: Emotional Disorganization


Stage 4: Recovery and Stabilization

Stage 5: Anticipation of Return

Stage 6: Return Adjustment and Renegotiation

Stage 7: Reintegration and Stabilization

Morse, J., (2006). The new emotional cycles of deployment. Retrieved pdf. June 28, 2007 from the U.S.

Department of Defense: Deployment Health and Family Readiness Library: San Diego, CA.

The Pre Deployment Stage

The Pre Deployment stage is generally from the time of deployment notification to departure from the

home area. The amount of time that Service and family members spend in this stage varies from weeks,

up to a year.

Pre Deployment Stage FRG Leader Administrative Duties

Recruit volunteers to fill specific roles during the deployment process.

Communicate with command to address any family questions and issues.

Attend pre-deployment briefings. This provides the opportunity to obtain important information to pass on to families, introducing the FRG Leader, collect accurate information on company families as well as for Service Members who are assigned to the unit for deployment.

Obtain family contact information.

Establish the family notification phone tree process and identify volunteer callers.

Pre Deployment Stage FRG Leader and Rear Detachment Command Duties:

During Pre Deployment the FRG leader will meet with the Unit Commander to:

Begin to establish a relationship with the Rear Detachment Commander, if not already established.

Discuss Commander’s vision for the family readiness group by reviewing his/her Family Readiness Plan and Single Soldier Plan.

Determine communication schedule and methods between FRG leader and Commander during the deployment.

Obtain pre-deployment briefings and meeting schedules in order to notify families.


Pre Deployment Stage FRG Leader and Service Member/Family Duties:

Disseminate information about pre-deployment briefings, mission and schedule information (if allowed) and FRG meetings to both service members and families.

Ensure families all understand the process of notification in case of family emergency.

Provide information as to how families can contact service member while deployed.

Determine the accuracy of the FRG phone tree. Identify and train volunteers involved in the Unit phone tree.

Gather and organize updated family contact information.

Provide a guide with important phone numbers and contact information to all family members and service members. Possible contacts include: local Family Assistance Centers, Military One Source rep., and Red Cross.

Ensure that you make contact with all unit families, via phone or in person to answer any questions after the pre-deployment briefings, and address family questions as appropriate.

Provide family members with point of contact information for FRG Leaders and Command staff.

Visit your local FAC and MOS representative.

Conduct social activities to build family camaraderie. These events can be as simple as coffee and cookies after an FRG meeting or as detailed as a Unit fair.

Emotional Reactions to Pre Deployment

Pincus et al (2009) & Morse (2006) found the following reactions to pre-deployment to be typical:

· Denial and anticipation of loss

· Reality sets in as the deployment date looms

· Detachment and withdrawal – service members become more and more psychologically prepared

for deployment, focusing on mission and unit. Bonding with unit members is essential but may create

emotional distance in family relationships.

· Lack of emotional connection. Long hours at work preparing for deployment and getting affairs in

order can create mental and physical distance.

· Sadness and anger – family members attempt to protect themselves from the hurt of separation.

· Fears and anxiety surface – sometimes around fidelity and strength of marriage.


· Emotional and sexual intimacy can be lacking.

· Unresolved family issues surface.

· Worries about coping (self, kids, service member).

· Children/Adolescent behavior can escalate.

Adapted from: Pincus, House, Christensen and Alder (2009) The Emotional Cycle of Deployment: A

Military Family Perspective and the, Morse, J. (2006) A Closer Look at Current Conditions, U.S. Army

HOOAH 4 Health

The Deployment Stage

For the purpose of this handbook, the deployment stage begins with the departure of the service

member and ends when the service member leaves the forward area. The amount of time in this stage

varies from 6 – 18 months.

Deployment Stage FRG Leader Administrative Tasks

Disseminate accurate and timely information via the phone tree, newsletter and meetings.

Manage gossip and rumors. Explain the official manner in which official information is passed down through the correct chain of command.

Pass along information on discounts and other military benefits in the community. This information can be obtained by contacting your Family Readiness Assistant.

Deployment Stage FRG Leader and Rear Detachment Commander Duties

Maintain the standards of the Commander’s Family Readiness Plan.

To obtain support and assistance for FRG activities for outside sources.

Obtain unit specific information to be included in newsletters and relayed via meetings phone-tree, emails and/or other forms of contact.

Obtain permission and approval for content of newsletters.

Attend unit briefings and quarterly FRG training events.

Maintain communication with other military and civilian community representatives including;

Local Family Assistance Centers

Family Readiness Assistant (FRA)

Chaplain office


Address the frequency and content of FRG meetings during deployment to meet family member interest and needs. Arrange guest speakers for FRG family meetings when necessary.

Maintain communication among the FRG staff to plan, coordinate and conduct FRG meetings and extra activities.

Deployment Stage FRG Leader and Service Member/Family Duties

Encourage sustained participation in FRG meetings and activities. Examples of this are; the use of childcare, arranging for guest speakers when necessary, and keeping up to date with specific family issues.

Keeping an organized and accurate record of contact information. If a family member is unable to attend meetings help to link them with an FRG in their area.

Refer families to the appropriate resource when needed.

Ensure families have point of contact information for both Command and FRG Leadership.

Emotional Reactions during the Deployment Stage

According to Pincus (2006), possible emotional reactions in the deployment stage include;

Concerns about parenting

Anger

Sadness

Anxiety and fears related to the deployed spouse

Feelings of loneliness

Concerns about communication with the deployed service member

Concerns over financial and legal issues

Concerns about rumors related to the deployment

Reintegration Stage

The reintegration stage begins when service members begin to make the transition home and continues

after the service member has finished the deployment and returned home. This stage can last between

eight and twelve months.

Reintegration Stage FRG Leader Administrative Tasks

Arrange guest speakers at FRG meetings to discuss reunion issues.


Provide families with a tentative post deployment schedule so they know what to look for and when mandatory training will occur.

Share resources and information about reunion issues typical to this phase.

Attend briefings and homecoming events.

Ensure key callers are aware of resource appropriate for this stage of the deployment cycle.

Begin to consider lessons learned and begin to prepare an after action report.

Encourage families to attend homecoming events and briefings.

Share reintegration resources like couples retreats and children’s camps.

Reintegration Stage FRG Leader and Rear Detachment Commander Duties

Find out details about return of service members, reintegration events and homecoming activities.

Discuss how the FRG can support the command during the welcome home events.

Work with Command staffs to identify and refer at risk families and families who have experienced significant problems during the deployment.

Review expectations and plans for the role and purpose of the FRG group POST deployment.

Reintegration Stage FRG Leader and Service Member/Family Duties

Provide families with a tentative post deployment schedule so they know what to look for and when mandatory briefings/training will occur.

Share resources and information about reintegration issues typical to this phase with families.

Attend briefings and homecoming events.

Ensure key callers are aware of resource appropriate for this stage of the deployment cycle.

Begin to consider lessons learned and begin to prepare an after action report.

Encourage families to attend homecoming events and briefings.

Share reintegration resources like couples retreats and children’s camps in newsletters and email to ensure all service members and families are aware of resources.

Emotional Reactions during the Reintegration stage


According to Martin, Rosen, and Sparacino (2000), The Military Family; a practice guide for human

service providers, the following are common stressors during this phase;

Change in Routines

Pre-existing relationship issues

Renegotiating family roles

Renegotiating levels of independence

Information about the deployment cycle is provided to the FRG leader to assist them with developing a

deeper understanding of the soldier and family member experiences. Astute FRG leaders will access

these resources and refer back to them throughout their tenure.

Sources for Deployment Cycle chapter:

Martin, Rosen and Sparacino, ED (2000), The Military Family; a practice guide for human service

providers. Santa Barbara, CA: Greenwood Publishing.

Morse, J., (2006).The new emotional cycles of deployment. Retrieved pdf June 28, 2007 from the U.S.

Department of Defense: Deployment Health and Family Readiness Library: San Diego, CA.

The National Military Family Association. (2005). Report on the Cycles of Deployment: An Analysis of

Survey Responses from April through September. Retrieved March 22, 2009 from the NMFA website;

http://www.nmfa.org/site/DocServer/NMFACyclesofDeployment9.pdf?docID=5401

Pincus, House, Christensen and Alder (2009) The Emotional Cycle of Deployment: A Military Family

Perspective. Retrieved April 7, 2009 from the My Hooah 4 Heath website;

http://www.hooah4health.com/deployment/Familymatters/emotionalcycle.htm

Texas A.& M. University, Cooperative State Research Education Extension Service. (2006)United States

Army FRG Leader’s Handbook. CSREES: College Station: TX

Vandevoorde, S. (2006) Separated by Duty, United in Love. N.Y., N.Y.: Kensington Publishing.


Effective Leadership in the

FRG Leadership is a shared function in the FRG. Commanders, leaders

and family members share a role in building and maintaining successful

groups. The Command staff identifies the vision and goals for the unit

Family Readiness Group and works with the FRG leader to ensure the group meets his/her goals.

The Family Readiness Group Leader has the ultimate role in administering the group but can

only be successful by working directly with the Commander and empowering additional family

members to share leadership duties within the group.

“Leadership — the ability to influence others to act in a given way.”

Leaders for success

For an FRG group to thrive, a number of leaders are needed—both soldiers and volunteers. Command

leaders are the unit commander, other officers, first sergeant, and other Non Commissioned Officers

(NCO’s). The volunteer leaders are the FRG leader, and various FRG chairpersons.

Setting the stage

The commander sets the stage for the unit FRG. The Commander identifies and sets goals and

expectations for the FRG by completing the Family Readiness Plan with the FRG Leader. FRG leaders

work with command staff to follow through on the identified goals.

FRG Relationships

Effective FRG groups depend upon two key relationships functioning smoothly;

· Commander & FRG leader

· FRG leader & volunteers

Commander and FRG Relationships

The commander is responsible for the FRG and for supporting the efforts of the FRG leader. The

commander is also responsible for appointing the FRG Leadership roles.

A significant component in a successful and effective FRG group is the ability of the FRG leader and the

command staff to function as a team. It is important that both individuals support and communicate

with one another regularly and align their vision(s) for the FRG group.


FRG Leader & Group Volunteers

The FRG leader’s ability to empower the volunteers to be an effective working group is a priority.

Effective leadership of the FRG includes the ability to ‘pass down’ the command vision and goals to FRG

committee members/volunteers and see that the vision is carried out within the FRG functions.

Sharing the family readiness group vision and leadership roles allows for group leaders to maximize their

talents and extend the impact of the group.

Leadership Styles Overview

Effective FRG group leader styles can often be categorized into four general types. Read the list below to

determine your main style.

Directive - Leader is task oriented, with little group input, limited group experience or time.

Military leaders must direct their units in order to accomplish their mission.

Coaching - Leader is both task and group oriented; directs and encourages the group’s effort,

but the group is more experienced and makes inputs to the process. The leader watches

progress and coaches the group as needed to keep them on track. This style of leadership is

prevalent in business.

Supporting – Leader is group oriented; sets the overall project goals and supports the group’s

efforts. The group has considerable experience and therefore makes major inputs on planning

and decisions. The leader reviews progress at intervals and suggests changes.

Delegating – Leader is more interested in the group’s interaction than the outcome of the

project. The group is highly experienced and they define the project goals, plan, make decisions,

and control their own work.

Different situations call for different types of leadership

Effective leaders use a combination of styles. Different situations call for different types of leadership.

With critical tasks, a coaching or directing style might be used. More routine tasks call for a mix of

coaching and supporting styles. With certain groups such as FRG committee chairs, a delegation style

might be used. The situation, experience of the group, and time needed to accomplish a task are all

factors that determine the style to use.

Characteristics of Effective Leaders

Effective leaders have specific characteristics that have made them a successful leader. An example of

effective leader characteristics is shown in the illustration below.


Impacts of Poor Leadership on a FRG

What happens if leaders do not have a substantial share of the positive leadership traits described?

Some descriptions of poor leadership and the consequences are:

Too military in focus—family members may not feel comfortable attending.

Too formal—discourages creating personal relationships or support between members.

Too pushy—doesn’t help everyone feel welcome.

Leader dominates meetings—participants don’t see themselves as participating.

Leader makes all or most decisions—discourages participation and development of other potential leaders.

Leader has no clear goals—members have nothing to support, meetings may feel like a waste of time.

Leadership does not discourage cliques, rumors, and gossip—group lacks strong leadership; family members want to be a part of a group with clear goals and strong, able leaders.

Leadership is all business, and does not plan fun activities - part of forming a strong FRG is knowing the members on a personal level and making them feel like they are part of the FRG “family”.

Lack of command guidance - members feel as though they are not supported by the unit.


Effective Communication

Family Readiness Leaders spend a considerable amount of energy and

time communicating with family members.

The development of a positive relationship between the FRG leader and unit

family members relies heavily on effective communication skills. Effective

and empowering communication is essential for building and sustaining

positive relationships.

Communication Builds Trust

We use many different ways of communicating daily. Think about how you communicate with others.

Do you tend to use more verbal or non-verbal methods? Consistent and effective communication builds

trust.

Steps to Effective Communication

The FRG leader’s job calls for frequent and effective communication. It is important to be able to say

how you feel, what you mean, and what you need when you are working with family members.

Understanding the Steps to Effective Communication can help you form a true partnership with the

family members in your group.

There are three basic steps to effective verbal communication.

1. Know your message – know what you want to say

2. Send a straight message – say it directly and concisely

3. Listen to verify the message sent – listen to see if the other person heard you

Including specific details in your request helps other people know exactly what will happen and what their

role may be in the process.

Listening

There is a lot to be said for nonverbal communication. Being a good listener is a top quality of

an FRG leader. Although it is not the job of a leader to be a counselor or constant sounding

board, it is important to reassure the person you are talking to that they are being heard. Please

see “Active Listening Skills” at the end of this chapter.

Empowering Communication

Empowering communication is respectful not restrictive or blaming. One of the best ways to send a clear,

respectful message is to use “I” statements. “I” statements differ from “You” and “We” statements in that

they allow us to tell people what impact their behavior may be having on us without judging them. Clear


communication is crucial in establishing trusting, open relationships.

Examples of “I” Statements are:

I am concerned that we haven’t made contact with several of our unit families. Without

direct connections, we may not understand their needs during deployment.

When I am interrupted, I feel upset because I lose my concentration

When I was in a situations I felt like this . . .

FRG leader communication serves as a model for others in the group. Setting the right tone with

empowering and respectful communication will provide a powerful example for group members.

Table of Empowering Communication Starters

Empowers Listener Doesn’t Empower Listener

Acceptance

That’s interesting…

Yes, hmmm…

I’m like that because…

Ordering

You must…

You will…

Reflective Listing

It sounds like you feel…

See if I understand…

I heard you say…

Warning/Threats

You’d better…

If you don’t…

Door Openers

Tell me more…

What are the options?

What’s next?

Analyzing

What you need is…

Your problem is…

Descriptive/Specific Feedback

You’ve listed three options…

That’s a positive view of…

I like that because…

I’m uncomfortable because…

Giving Advice

If I were you…

Lecturing

The facts are…

Yes, but…

Evaluating

That sounds like a strength for you…

Yes, you’ve identified three possible

choices…

Questioning

Why did you…?

Reassuring

It sounds like you’ve identified a plan

that will work for you…

Preaching

You ought to…

It’s your responsibility…

Belittling/Ridiculing

You are wrong…

What a thing to say! Withdrawing

Let’s not talk about that…


Empowering Communication Checklist

Individuals in leadership positions can benefit from reviewing their communication skills. Here is an

easy way to self assess your communication skills:

Empowering Communication Checklist

Skill Area Needs

Improvement

Reasonably

Competent

Strength

Area

Demonstrates accepting comments and style

Opens doors by using open ended questions

Demonstrates reflective listening/comments

Uses descriptive and specific feedback

Demonstrates relaxed and open body language

Seeks and verifies information

Uses silence when appropriate

Builds on the speaker’s ideas

Demonstrates ability to make summative comments

Demonstrates ability to draw inferences from conversations

and observations

Delivers information without lecturing or being condescending

Encourages with meaningful, specific and measurable

comments

Discloses personal information appropriately designed to

establish credibility and support the relationship

Confidentiality

As unit representatives, FRG leaders make a commitment to keep private family information confidential.

Conversations and email exchanges with family members are considered private and FRG leaders need to

ensure that access to them is controlled. Please see the “FRG Confidentiality” document at the end of this

chapter.

Public Speaking

There may be events that will require you to present information to a large audience. For some leaders,

this can be intimidating. Always remember to be prepared, know what you are going to say ahead of time

and allow for questions at the end, this way you will not be thrown off during your presentation. Please

see “Tips on Public Speaking” at the end of this chapter.


Communication Tools

FRG leaders have a range of communication tools at their disposal. The primary communication tools are:

FRG meetings

Newsletter

Phone Tree

Email list

FRG Meetings

FRG meetings are primarily designed to:

Share unit specific information with family members

Provide education on relevant topics (ie. Budgeting, Tricare, Emotional Needs)

Foster family-family connections

FRG Meetings are NOT for:

FRG Meetings are NOT for gossip and rumors. This is one of the biggest complaints of FRG members. It

is the job of the FRG leader to maintain a personal and professional feeling to each meeting. There

needs to be an even balance of relevant information and personal time for sharing.

Today’s families have a range of work and family commitments that may not allow them to regularly

attend FRG meetings. FRG leaders will need to ensure that unit information, education, and resources can

be accessed via a variety of formats in addition to face-to-face meetings.

FRG Newsletter

The purpose of an FRG newsletter is to:

Relay information from the command staff

Highlight military and community resources

Advertise upcoming events

Address group issues of concern

Please see “Guidance for FRG Newsletters” and the example of an FRG newsletter at the end of

this chapter.


FRG Newsletter is NOT for:

The FRG Newsletter is NOT for sharing personal problems. The content of the newsletter must be

approved by the Commander prior to the distribution to the families. Identifying information like first

and last names should not be given out without consent. The content and frequency of FRG newsletters is

the decision of the command staff. This communication activity must be approved and all content

endorsed by the command representative.

Phone tree

Phone tree calling is used to provide timely and accurate information to families. This unit activity

requires additional unit volunteers who will serve as callers. Establishing and maintaining an updated

unit roster with accurate contact information is essential for maximizing the impact of the phone tree.

Please see “Phone Tree Information” and “Phone Tree Example” at the end of this chapter.

Phone Tree is NOT for:

The FRG Phone Tree is NOT for gossip! If the person being called has a problem, spend the time to

listen and pass along the appropriate resources for help. Do not spend time chatting about another

family’s problems. Remember to have a list of key points and questions and do so in a timely manner.

Email Roster

Email addresses for unit family members can be combined to form an email list. This group email list can

be used for a variety of purposes including;

Sharing information with family members

Fostering family-family connections

Relaying information from the command staff

Highlighting military and community resources

Advertising upcoming events

FRG leaders need to ensure the accuracy of email addresses. In addition, family members who do not

have email access will need information sent in alternate formats. Email content should be reviewed by

command staff and contain official information.

Email Lists are NOT for:

Email Lists are NOT for forwards –jokes, stories, chain letters etc. Reply to your emails in a timely

manner. Some family members may use your email as a method of gaining access to vital resources when

in need. Do NOT use your personal email address; create a new address with the FRG name that is easy

for your group members to remember.

State Family Programs FRG Basics Manual

Documents

Transcript of State Family Programs FRG Basics Manual