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SCENES

ACT ONE

SCENE I Ahasuerus banquet hall

SCENE II The Palace Tiki Lounge

SCENE III A Barn Dance

SCENE IV Esthers Chambers

SCENE V The Barn

SCENE VI Ahasuerus throne room

ACT TWO

SCENE I The palace gates

SCENE II The palace beauty parlor

SCENE III Ahasuerus throne room, Esthers banquet hall

SCENE IV Hamans house, Ahasuerus bedchamber, A parade

SCENE V Esthers banquet hall

Time and place: Ancient Persia

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Musical Numbers

ACT ONE

Persian Party ! ! ! ! CARCASThe Kings Request! ! ! AHASUERUS, CARCAS and VASHTISince I Dont Have You! ! AHASUERUSMiss Persia ! ! ! ! COMPANYStar Queen !! ! ! ! AHASUERUS, ESTHER, MORDECAI and COMPANY

A Girl Like Me !! ! ! ESTHERPersian Party (reprise) ! CARCASThe Plot! ! ! ! ! BIGTHANA, TERESH and MORDECAII Get Respect! ! ! ! HAMAN AND COMPANYThe Edict! ! ! ! ! HAMAN, MORDECAI and COMPANY

ACT TWO

For Such A Time as This!! MORDECAI and ESTHERGood Impression!! ! ! THREE BEAUTICIANSStar Queen (reprise) ! ! AHASUERUSEsthers Party! ! ! ! CARCAS and HAMANEsthers Party reprise! ! HAMANCarpenters Dance ! ! ! INSTRUMENTALSurely Its Me !! ! ! AHASUERUS and HAMANMordecais Parade ! ! ! INSTRUMENTALHalf of the Kingdom!! ! ESTHER, AHASUERUS, CARCAS and HAMANFinale! ! ! ! ! ! CARCAS and COMPANY

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Characters (in the order of their appearance)

CARCAS, head servant to Ahasuerus

PEDAIAH, Prince of a foreign country, guest of Ahasuerus

AHASUERUS, King of Persia

FEMALE GUEST

VASHTI, Queen of Persia, briefly

MALE GUEST #1

MALE GUEST #2

MALE GUEST #3

PIANIST

THREE SERVANTS

ESTHER, young Jewish girl, soon to be queen

MORDECAI, Esthers cousin and guardian

BIGTHANA AND TERESH, Ahasuerus conspiring doorkeepers

TWO GUARDS

A SECRETARY

HAMAN, highest official in the kingdom next to the king

FRIENDS OF MORDECAI

FRIENDS OF HAMAN

THREE FEMALE BEAUTICIANS

ZERESH, Hamans wife

EXTRAS (Carpenters, etc.)

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Star Queen Synopsis

King Ahasuerus is celebrating the end of a six-month party in Per-

sia. He sends for Queen Vashti to come and do a striptease for his

guests. She refuses and is dethroned.

Soon, Ahasuerus begins to feel lonely, so his servants put together

a barn dance/beauty contest. At the dance, Ahasuerus dances with

many women and falls in love with the young Jewish girl, Esther. He

crowns her the new queen.

After the dance, Mordecai, Esthers cousin, overhears the kings

doorkeepers plotting to kill the king. Mordecai uncovers the plot

and they are executed. This event is recorded in the history books.

Haman, the second most powerful man in Persia, is feared and re-

spected by everyone except Mordecai. This infuriates Haman and he

writes out an edict which will result in the extermination of all

the Jews in Persia. Ahasuerus approves it, and the Jewish community

panics.

Mordecai is grieving outside the palace gates. Esther comes to him,

ignorant of the edict, and Mordecai implores her to do something to

make the king change his mind. She is afraid, but finally agrees to

try.

Esther goes to the palace beauty parlor for advice on how to impress

Ahasuerus. They give her a makeover and she approaches Ahasuerus.

Ahasuerus offers her half of his kingdom. She invites Ahasuerus and

Haman to a private party.

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Synopsis (contd)

At the party, Ahasuerus offers Esther half of his kingdom again.

Esther almost blows the whistle on Haman, but chickens out and in-

vites them to a second party the next day.

On the way home, everyone bows to Haman except Mordecai. Haman

storms home in a rage. His wife Zeresh suggests that he hire car-

penters to build a seventy-five-foot gallows in his back yard and

ask King Ahasuerus to let him hang Mordecai on it.

Ahasuerus cannot go to sleep that night, so he reads Persian history

all night long. At daybreak, he reads about the doorkeepers who

conspired to kill him and realizes that Mordecai was never rewarded

for saving his life. As Haman enters the palace to request permis-

sion to hang Mordecai, Ahasuerus sends for Haman and asks him his

advice on how a king should honor someone. Haman, thinking the king

wishes to honor him, describes an outlandish parade with the lucky

man on the kings finest horse. Ahasuerus commands Haman to arrange

the parade to honor Mordecai. Haman leads the parade, humiliated.

At the second party, the king offers Esther half of his kingdom

again. Esther reveals to the king that Haman is trying to kill her

and all her people. The king storms across the room. While his

back is turned, Haman falls pleading on top of Esther. Ahasuerus

sees Haman on top of Esther and his guards seize Haman. Carcas

tells Ahasuerus about the seventy five foot gallows in Hamans back

yard. Ahasuerus orders that Haman be hanged on it. Haman is exe-

cuted, Mordecai is promoted to Hamans position, the proclamation is

reversed, the Jews wipe out all their enemies and everyone has a

party to celebrate the victory won by Esther, the little queen with

a star for a name.

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ACT ONE SCENE ONE

AT RISE: The banquet hall in the palace of KING AHASUERUS. A

party is about to take place. During the overture, CARCAS, head

servant to the king, leads characters onstage in a dance and ar-

ranges them as one would arrange furniture in a room. They

freeze wherever he places them. At the end of the overture, CAR-

CAS surveys the scene, nodding his approval.

CARCAS

Yep. Thats just about the way I

remember it.

Party guests begin to dance as CARCAS sings.

CARCAS

LET GO YOUR MIND

LET YOUR BODY UNWIND

PERSIA GONNA PARTY TONIGHT

LET GO YOUR FEAR

MAKE DE FROWN DISAPPEAR


WHEN PERSIA THROW A PARTY

IT DONT HAPPEN ONLY ONCE

WE BEEN CELEBRATING

FOR THE PAST SIX MONTHS

LET GO THE THOUGHT

THAT YOU GONNA GET CAUGHT


As first verse ends, KING AHASUERUS and his guest, PRINCE PE-

DAIAH make their way downstage. Party and music continue behind

them. THE KING and all the GUESTS are drunk.

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PRINCE PEDAIAH

Prodigious party, King Ahasuerus. How

particularly perceptive of you,

persuading me to participate, knowing

how positively piggish I am about

Persian parties!

AHASUERUS

My pleasure, Prince Pedaiah. Perhaps

its precisely what Persia needs.

Parties are perfect for publicity.

People should probably pack pajamas ifthey plan to attend a private Persian

party.

PRINCE PEDAIAH

Perfectly put, pal. Now, promise

youll apprise a prince of where people

pick up pretty princesses like your

priceless Queen Vashti.

AHASUERUS

Patience, Pedaiah. Im putting on a

private Persian party presently in the

posterior part of the palace. I pray

it will be your pleasure to be present.

Then well pursue plenty of prattle

about princesses and such.

PRINCE PEDAIAH

Perfect!

Dance continues as CARCAS sings second verse.

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CARCAS (CONTD)

AHASUERUS

THROWING A BASH FOR US


KICK OFF YOUR SHOES

AS WE BRING OUT THE BOOZE


THERES NEVER BEEN A PARTY

LIKE YOU GONNA SEE HERE

ITS GONNA BE

THE SOCIABLE EVENT OF THE YEAR

YOU GONNA DRINK

SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU THINK


As second verse ends, QUEEN VASHTI and a female guest make their

way downstage. Party and music continue behind them.

FEMALE GUEST

A toast to the host, Queen Vashti!

King AhasuerusCrown prince of Persian

parties! Ive never seen so much

liquor in one place. Tell us how it

feels to be the wife of such a

gregarious governor.

VASHTIGregarious governor? Try licentious

lushincompetent inebriate

self-centered sot. If you ask me, its

high time a woman sat in King

Ahasuerus throne. This woman.

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FEMALE GUEST

Careful, highness. Persian women have

had their tongues cut out for saying

less than that.

VASHTI

Thats precisely the point! Were

personal property, not people. Our

opinions dont count. We may as well

tell a mule how we feel. Ive half a

mind to quit this job and file a sexual

harassment suit. A toast to the hostKing Ahasuerus! Crown prince of pigs!

Dance continues as CARCAS sings third verse.

CARCAS

LIFE WITH THE KING

IS A BEAUTIFUL THING


EVERYONE KNOWS

ALMOST ANYTHING GOES


YOU CAN EAT

UNTIL YOU THROW IT UP ON THE FLOOR

SOMEONE ELSE WILL CLEAN IT UP

WHILE YOU EAT SOME MORE

LIFE IS A BREEZE

WHEN YOU DO AS YOU PLEASE


Dancers freeze when song ends. After applause, men and women

disperse to respective parties on opposite sides of stage.

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CARCAS

(to audience)

Allow me to introduce myself. My name

is Carcas, with one s, head servant

in the palace of King Ahasuerus, ruler

of all Persia, where the parties never

stop and the wine flows like water. My

memory is as good as the day is long,

so the events you are about to witness

are exactly as they occurred, allowing,

of course, for a small amount of poetic

license and theatrics. Six months and

seven days of revelry are enough to

make anyone drunk and King Ahasuerus is

no exception. Now, where the booze

flows, the volume grows and the talk

generally turns to conversation about

the opposite sex.

MALE GUEST #1

As far as Im concerned, the discussion

is over and done with cause none of

the dames I seen any of you with can

hold a candle to my Sarah.

MALE GUEST #2

Yeah, I seen Sarah and if there was acandle burnin in the same room with

her, Id blow it out sos I wouldnt

have to look at her face no more.

Laughter

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MALE GUEST #1

Yeah, yeah. At least my Sarah dont

have to take her teeth outa her mouth

to brush em every night like your

Maria.

MALE GUEST #2

Hey! I paid good money for those

teeth!

MALE GUEST #3

Gentlemen, gentlemen. I am certain

that if you would ask Maria or Sarah

her opinion on this matter, she would

sincerely admit that she would give her

right arm to be even half as lovely as

my dear Joanna.

MALE GUEST #4

You mean shed wish she had one eyebrow

that goes all the way across?

Laughter as he illustrates a uni-brow with finger above eyes.

MALE GUEST #3

You got a lotta room to talk. I got

half a mind to take back that

compliment I gave your wife about her

sideburns.

Laughter

AHASUERUS

My friends, this is all very

entertaining, but the hour is late and

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AHASUERUS (CONTD)

I still havent told you about Queen

Vashti.

PASS ME THE BOTTLE

I COULD USE ANOTHER DRINK

Someone hands him a bottle. He takes a drink.

AHASUERUS (CONTD)

WHEN IT COMES TO THE WOMEN

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I THINK

IVE SEEN YOUR WIVES

AND I MUST ADMIT THAT IVE

SEEN PRETTIER FACES ON MY CAMELS

AND THE FRAGRANCES THEY WEAR

OH, THEY GIVE ME QUITE A SCARE

AND ID SOONER SMELL THE LEATHER ON MY SANDALS

BUT VASHTI, AS YOULL SEE

IS THE ONLY GIRL FOR ME

CARCAS

IS SHE PRETTY?

AHASUERUS

THATS A COSMIC UNDERSTATEMENTAND TO PROVE, OUT OF THE REST

OF ALL YOUR WOMEN, SHES THE BEST

VASHTI WILL PROVIDE THE EVENINGS ENTERTAINMENT

VASHTIS WITH THE WOMEN, CARCAS

RUN ALONG AND GET ER

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AHASUERUS (CONTD)

TELL HER IM SUGGESTING

THAT THE LESS SHE WEARS, THE BETTER

AHASUERUS party freezes as CARCAS walks swiftly to VASHTIs

side of the stage. CARCAS calls out to the queen.

CARCAS

Pardon me, your excellency, its

Carcas, head servant to King Ahasuerus,

ruler of all Persia, who has sent me to

you with a small request.

VASHTI

Well, what is it?

CARCAS

(tentatively)

Your highness...well, you know how the

king likes to drink and...well...it

tends to be his habit to drink very

much when he does and...you see, he

began to boast about your matchless

beauty and timeless grace and so he has

sent me to you with the request that

you come and...let me see...how should

I say...display yourself to his guests.

VASHTI

(furiously)

WHAT??!!! DISPLAY MYSELF??!!

OOOO, THE GALL!

IM REVOLTED, OFFENDED AND APPALLED

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VASHTI (CONTD)

I REFUSE TO PRETEND IT DOESNT BOTHER ME

TO BE OGLED BY HIS GUESTS

YOU CAN TELL HIM WHAT TO DO WITH HIS REQUEST


ILL BE HANGED

BEFORE ILL EVER SHOW HIS BUDDIES ANYTHING

ITLL BE A MONTH OF SUNDAYS, I CAN GUARANTEE

I REFUSE TO BE OPPRESSED



ILL NEVER DO IT

YOU CAN TELL HIM I AINT BLUFFIN

DANCIN WHILE THEYRE STARIN

AND IM WEARIN NEXT TO NUFFIN

OOOO, THE NERVE!

WHAT SIN HAVE I COMMITTED TO DESERVE

TO BE FORCEFULLY SUBMITTED TO HIS EVERY WHIM?

I OFFICIALLY PROTEST


VASHTIS party freezes. CARCAS begins singing as he walks back

to AHASUERUS.

CARCAS

(Worried)

PASS ME THE BOTTLE

I COULD USE ANOTHER DRINK

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CARCAS (CONTD)

SUCH REPLIES COULD GIVE THE KING A CASE

FOR MAKING HER EXTINCT

AS SURE AS IM CARCAS

THIS HOUR IS THE DARKEST

FOR THE QUEEN, I AM SORRY TO ADMIT

BUT I OFFER A DISCLAIMER

THAT I FIND IT HARD TO BLAME HER

EVEN SO, THE KING WILL THROW A ROYAL FIT

(To the KING)

SIRE, MAY YOU ENJOY LONG LIFE

IVE A MESSAGE FROM YOUR WIFE

SHE WOULD COME

BUT SHES A BIT BENEATH THE WEATHER

I AM SURE THAT AT THE MOST YOULL

FIND SHES FEELING ANTISOCIAL

IN A DAY OR TWO, SHE WILL BE FEELING BETTER

AHASUERUS is visibly agitated at the news. His PARTY GUESTS no-

tice this and begin to tiptoe away. As he sings, THEY dress in

gangster outfits and come out on stage with guns, knives, chains

and other weapons.

AHASUERUS

ITS POSSIBLE THAT I COULD NEED

A HEARING AID OR SOMETHING

I THOUGHT THAT I DISTINCTLY HEARD YOU SAY

SHE WASNT COMING

IM DISGRACED!

WHEN A MAN OF MY POSITION LOSES FACE

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AHASUERUS (CONTD)

WITH A WIFE WHO DOESNT LISTEN TO A WORD HE SAYS

HELL BE RIDICULED, AT BEST

SHELL BE SORRY THAT SHE LAUGHED AT MY REQUEST


IM AFRAID

THIS REQUIRES A DRASTIC MEASURE

TELL MY AIDE

WE NEED TO FIND A NEW SUCCESSOR

TO THE FORMER QUEEN

I WILL NOT BE SECOND GUESSED



TAKE AWAY HER CROWN

YOU CAN TELL HER I AINT BLUFFIN

THEY DONT CALL ME

HOT AND HARSH AHASUERUS FOR NUFFIN

IM THE KING

I COULDVE GIVEN VASHTI ANYTHING

THOUGH IT MAY BE MEAN AND NASTY

THATS THE WAY IT IS

SHELL BE A LESSON FOR THE REST

SHELL BE SORRY SHE EMBARRASSED ME

IN FRONT OF EVRY GUEST

BLATANT DISOBEDIENCE

IS SOMETHING I DETEST

SHES NO LONGER QUEEN OF PERSIA

JUST IN CASE YOU HAVENT GUESSED


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ACT ONE SCENE TWO

SCENE: The Palace Tiki Lounge. As CARCAS talks, a piano, a

bench, a stool and a coatrack are brought downstage in the dark.

CARCAS

The crown was removed from Queen

Vashtis head...

Crown is removed from VASHTIS head and thrown to CARCAS. SHE

throws a tantrum and is carried off by two GUARDS.

CARCAS(CONTD)

...and she was out looking for work

quicker than you could say, Peter

Piper picked a peck of Pickled

Persians.

Light on coatrack. CARCAS hangs crown on it. AHASUERUS and PI-

ANO PLAYER take their places: AHASUERUS on the stool dressed ina tacky lounge lizard outfit, PIANO PLAYER on the bench at the

piano. Other SERVANTS come out with tiki torches and stand be-

hind the KING. One SERVANT holds a fake moon. PIANO PLAYER be-

gins to play.

CARCAS (CONTD)

Things got pretty quiet around the

palace after that. King Ahasuerus

started missing Queen Vashti.

Lights out on CARCAS. Barn dance scene is assembled upstage in

the dark or behind the curtain as AHASUERUS sings.

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AHASUERUS

LATELY LIFE IS DULL

AND MY OUTLOOK ISNT GOOD

ID TAKE A PILL AND SLEEP IT OFF

FORGET HER IF I COULD

BUT SLEEPING PILLS ARE SCARCE

BECAUSE THEY HAVENT BEEN INVENTED

WHATS A KING WITHOUT A QUEEN?

IM DOWN AND DISCONTENTED

OH, WELL! SHES GONE

AND, AT THE RISK OF SOUNDING BITTER

IVE GOT TO HAVE THE STRENGTH TO SAY

I MIGHT AS WELL FORGET HER.

I DONT NEED A MOONLIT LAKE

TIKI TORCHES AT A FRESH CLAM BAKE

NOW IM BELIEVING THAT ROMANCE IS FAKE

SINCE I DONT HAVE YOU

SOLD MY CANDLESTICKS; SOLD MY WINE

NOW IM ALWAYS STAYING IN TO DINE

SCARY MOVIES SUIT MY TASTE JUST FINE


ILL COUNT THE LEAVES UPON A WEEPING WILLOW.

ILL COUNT EACH LONELY BLADE OF GRASS

ILL COUNT THE TEARS THAT FALL UPON MY PILLOW

MAYBE THE LONELINESS WILL PASS

HOLD MY DINNER DATES; HOLD MY CALLS

SELL MY TICKETS TO NIAGARA FALLS

IM GETTING USED TO STARING AT THE WALLS


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AHASUERUS (CONTD)

TURN BACK THE CLOCK SO I CAN DREAM ABOUT YOU

TURN DOWN THE VOICES IN MY HEAD

TELLING ME THAT ILL LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU

ILL FIND ANOTHER LOVE INSTEAD

LOVE IS HOPELESS NOW; LIFE IS BLUE

IM IN SHAMBLES AT THE THOUGHT OF YOU

I BID MY HEART A BITTERSWEET ADIEU


AHASUERUS freezes after song. Light remains on HIM. Lights

come up on CARCAS and a few SERVANTS. Piano is taken away.

Coatrack remains through next two musical numbers.

CARCAS

What does one do if one is the servant

of a sad king? That is the question we

asked ourselves and the answer seemed

obvious after we put our heads

together.

SERVANTS huddle up and murmur loudly. They disperse with a

loud, BREAK!

CARCAS (CONTD)

The king was sad because he was lonely.

So we decided to have a Miss Persia

contest.

(To the KING)

Pardon me, your highness. Would it

make you feel any better if we rounded

up all the beautiful virgins in your

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CARCAS (CONTD)

kingdom and gave you the opportunity to

choose from among them another queen to

sit in the empty throne?

AHASUERUS thoughtfully places crown on coatrack.

AHASUERUS

All the beautiful virgins...hmmm...

As AHASUERUS thinks, CARCAS leans closer and closer to him.

Suddenly, AHASUERUS claps his hands, scaring CARCAS.

AHASUERUS (CONTD)

Its a perfect idea, Carcas! Why

didnt I think of it sooner?

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ACT ONE SCENE THREE

Music begins and curtain raises on barn dance scene. AHASUERUS

dances with many WOMEN during first verse.

COMPANY

WHOS GONNA BE MISS PERSIA?

WHOS GONNA WEAR THAT PRETTY LITTLE CROWN?

WHOS GONNA TAKE HIM BY THE HAND

AND TURN HIS BIG HEART UPSIDE DOWN

TURN HIS BIG HEART UPSIDE DOWN?

WHOS GONNA DANCE AROUND HIS THRONE?

WHOS GONNA TWIST AND TWIRL?

BY AND BY, WHEN THE PARTYS OVER

WHOS GONNA BE HIS FAVORITE GIRL?

WHOS GONNA BE HIS FAVORITE GIRL?

WELL CUT A RUG AND PROMENADE SLOW

SWING TO THE LEFT AND DO-SI-DO

KISS HER ON THE CHEEK WHEN THE LIGHTS ARE LOW

ALAMANDE RIGHT AND AWAY WE GO

ALAMANDE RIGHT AND AWAY WE GO


WHOS GONNA BE HIS PRETTY LITTLE QUEEN?

WHOS GONNA TURN THE HEARTOF EVERY OTHER MAN A SHADE OF GREEN

OTHER MAN A SHADE OF GREEN?

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During the instrumental clogging section, AHASUERUS dances with

some more WOMEN. At the end of the clogging, the dance freezes

with a spot on MORDECAI, ESTHER and CARCAS.

CARCAS

You will want to keep your eye on this

little girlEsther, the star of the

show. You have probably heard that big

things come in small packages and you

will soon see that this is a true and

reliable statement. Oh! And I cannot

forget Esthers cousin, Mordecai. Hehas entered Esther into the contest on

two conditions: One, that she not tell

anyone shes Jewish, and two, that she

not reveal her relation to Mordecai.

Mordecai is actually one of the most

underrated men in the kingdom at this

point, but that will all change very

soon.

Music picks back up and AHASUERUS dances with a few more WOMEN.

In the last A section of the tune, HE sits on his throne,

visibly tired.

COMPANY (CONTD)


WHOS GONNA PUT A TWINKLE IN HIS EYE?

HELL HAVE THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE COUNTRY

MY, OH MY, WHAT A LUCKY GUY!

MY, OH MY, WHAT A LUCKY GUY!

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COMPANY (CONTD)

WHOS GONNA CATCH HIS EYE NOW?

WHOS GONNA STEAL HIS HEART?

BY AND BY, WHEN HE FINDS HIS LADY

THATS WHEN THE PARTY REALLY STARTS

THATS WHEN THE PARTY REALLY STARTS

DANCE A LITTLE JIG AND SING ANOTHER TUNE

SPEND A LOT OF DOUGH LIKE A BIG TYCOON

SING HER A SONG BY THE LIGHT OF THE MOON

BUY A WHITE DRESS, SET A DATE IN JUNE

BUY A WHITE DRESS, SET A DATE IN JUNE

WHOS GONNA BE MISS PERSIA

QUEEN OF THE LAND AND LOVER OF THE KING?

WHOS GONNA BE THE ONE WHOS WEARIN

ON HER FINGER A DIAMOND RING

ON HER FINGER A DIAMOND RING?


COMPANY freezes for applause and remains frozen while stars come

out over the barn. AHASUERUS sees ESTHER and is smitten.

AHASUERUS

TIME CAN STAND STILL

IT JUST HAPPENED TODAY

THE CLOCK JUST STOPPED TICKING

THE SECONDS AWAY

THE EARTH CEASED TO TURN

AS I STOOD FROM MY THRONE

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AHASUERUS (CONTD)

THE BEAT OF MY HEART

WAS AS STILL AS A STONE

STAR QUEEN, YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED

DID YOU FALL DOWN FROM A STAR

IN A GALAXY A MILLION WORLDS AWAY?

ID LIKE FOR YOU TO STAY

ESTHER

IM JUST A POOR GIRL OF HUMBLE DESCENT

JUST A WOMAN WHOS NEVER SEEN HER NAME IN PRINT

AND TO CALL ME A QUEEN

WELL, THATS SAYING A LOT

IVE NEVER BEEN GOOD

BEING SOMETHING IM NOT

MORDECAI

BE WHO YOU ARE

TAKE YOUR LIFE OFF THE SHELF

THE BEST YOU CAN GIVE

IS THE BEST OF YOURSELF

THE KING DIDNT CHOOSE YOU

FOR SOMETHING YOU LACK

ITS YOU THAT HE CHOSE

AND HE WONT TAKE IT BACK

COMPANY


DID YOU FALL DOWN FROM A STAR IN A GALAXY

A MILLION WORLDS AWAY?


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AHASUERUS

MAY I BE THE FIRST

TO EXTEND YOU MY HAND

AND ADMIT FROM MY HEART

THAT YOURE NOT WHAT ID PLANNED?

IVE SEEN QUEENS COME AND GO

AND THEIR BEAUTY WAS PRIME

BUT TILL NOW

IM AFRAID IVE BEEN WASTING MY TIME

ESTHER

YOU MUST HAVE ME MIXED UP

WITH SOMEBODY ELSE

I CANT REALLY SEE

THE ATTRACTION MYSELF

IN A PAGEANT

IM CERTAIN THAT ID FINISH LAST

IN A POETRY CONTEST

IM SURE THAT ID...

LOSE...

Everyone looks confused by the rhyme.

COMPANY

STAR QUEEN, STAR QUEEN

PRETTIEST QUEEN THE WORLD HAS SEEN

AHASUERUS

THIS CALLS FOR A PARTY

THE PLEASURE IS MINE

SO LETS CALL FOR THE SERVANTS

TO BRING OUT THE WINE

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AHASUERUS (CONTD)

LET THE CRIERS DECLARE

AND THE PAGES PROCLAIM

THE KING HAS A QUEEN

WITH A STAR FOR A NAME

COMPANY


DID YOU FALL DOWN FROM A STAR IN A GALAXY

A MILLION WORLDS AWAY?


As song ends, AHASUERUS removes crown from coatrack and places

it on ESTHERs head

CARCAS

To celebrate the crowning of a new

queen, we all did a very Persian thing:

we threw a party!

CARCAS

ESTHER, I MEAN

SHES A FINE LOOKING QUEEN!


HELL NEVER REPLACE

SUCH A BEAUTIFUL FACE

PERSIA GONNA PARTY TONIGHTTONIGHT HE WILL BE SLEEPING DOUBLE

IN THE ROYAL BUNK

BUT FIRST HE GONNA CELEBRATE

UNTIL HE BE DRUNK

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CARCAS (CONTD)

THE KING WILL NOT CARE

IF YOU LET DOWN YOUR HAIR


People begin to go home from the party. MORDECAI sits behind a

stack of hay and dozes off.

ACT ONE SCENE FOUR

SCENE: ESTHERS chambers. Two ATTENDANTS approach and ESTHER

sings as they prepare her for bed.

ESTHER

MESSAGE TO MYSELF

I COULD WAKE UP IN THE MORNING

AND LIFE WILL BE JUST LIKE IT WAS BEFORE

QUICK AS DREAMS ARRIVE

THEY CAN GO WITHOUT A WARNING

ITS HARD TO KNOW EXACTLY WHATS IN STORE

BUT IVE SEEN HOW LOVE SURPRISES

AND IT SUITS ME TO A T

MAYBE DREAMS CAN STICK AROUND

A LITTLE LONGER THAN EXPECTED

IF A KING CAN LOVE A GIRL LIKE ME

WHO WOULD EVER THINK

THAT HE COULD LOVE A GIRL LIKE ME?

A CAREFUL GIRL LIKE ME

A CANDID GIRL LIKE ME

MAKES ME WONDER IF I HAVE THE CAPABILITY

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ESTHER (CONTD)

TO UNDERSTAND THE REASON

HE WOULD LOVE A GIRL LIKE ME

NEVER THOUGHT ID FIND A MAN

WHOD LOVE A GIRL LIKE ME

A SOBER GIRL LIKE ME

A SINGLE GIRL LIKE ME

CAN IT BE WITHIN THE REALM OF POSSIBILITY

THAT HE COULD FIND IT IN HIS HEART

TO LOVE A GIRL LIKE ME?

I AM FLEXIBLE

BUT SOMETIMES I AM HARD TO PLEASE

SOME DAYS I AM WEAK

AND OTHERS, STRONG AS HERCULES

I AM EASYGOING

BUT SOMETIMES IM IN A RUSH

I AM SOMETIMES BRAZEN

AND AT OTHER TIMES, IM QUICK TO BLUSH

USED TO WONDER IF SOMEONE

COULD LOVE A GIRL LIKE ME

A PENSIVE GIRL LIKE ME

A PEACEFUL GIRL LIKE ME

IM LETTING GO OF EVRY TRACE OF INSECURITY

TO LET YOU KNOW ID LOVE FOR YOU

TO LOVE A GIRL LIKE ME

The ATTENDANTS leave, and AHASUERUS enters.

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ESTHER (CONTD)

IM TRANSPARENT

BUT SOMETIMES I CAN BE HARD TO READ

SOME DAYS I AM WAY BEHIND

AND OTHERS, I AM IN THE LEAD

I AM MELANCHOLY

BUT JUST NOW AND THEN IM FINE

I AM CLOUDY, BUT BENEATH THE SURFACE

YOU SHOULD SEE ME SHINE!

AHASUERUS approaches HER and takes her hands.

TAKE ME, HOLD ME IN YOUR HEART

AND LOVE A GIRL LIKE ME

A SIMPLE GIRL LIKE ME

A SUBTLE GIRL LIKE ME

LOOK INTO THESE EYES

AND IM BELIEVING THAT YOULL SEE

A WILLING SOUL WHOD LOVE FOR YOU

TO LOVE A GIRL LIKE ME

ON SECOND THOUGHT...ID LOVE FOR YOU

TO LOVE A QUEEN LIKE ME

AHASUERUS and ESTHER exit together.

! ! 24

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ACT ONE SCENE FIVE

SCENE: THE BARN again. MORDECAI is still dozing behind the hay-

stack. Two suspicious characters, BIGTHANA and TERESH, the

kings doorkeepers, creep onstage.

CARCAS

Watch closely. Something is going to

happen here that you will need to

remember for future reference. Youve

met Mordecai. The two weasels are

Bigthana and Teresh, the kings

doorkeepers. They are conspiring to

assassinate King Ahasuerus.

During THE PLOT song, BIGTHANA and TERESH are unaware that MOR-

DECAI is overhearing every word behind the haystack. He listens

during the first verse and gets the attention of two GUARDS dur-

ing the second verse. They slowly close in on BIGTHANA and TER-

ESH as they sing.

BIGTHANA

IVE GOT A ROPE

TERESH

IVE GOT A KNIFE

BIGTHANA

ID CONSIDER IT A PRIVILEGE

TO END THE KINGS LIFE

TERESH

IVE GOT SOME POISON

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BIGTHANA

IVE GOT A CHAIN

TERESH

ID LIKE TO SEE AHASUERUS

IN A GREAT DEAL OF PAIN

BIGTHANA

I HATE HIS POLICIES

TERESH

I HATE HIS FACE

BIGTHANA

I HATE THE CLOTHING HE WEARS

TERESH

PERSIAS ECONOMYS AN AWFUL DISGRACE

BOTH

IF THE POISON DOESNT WORK

WELL PUSH HIM DOWN THE STAIRS

BIGTHANA

ILL TIE THE KNOTS

YOU HOLD HIS HANDS

WELL CUT HIM UP IN PIECES

AND HIDE HIM IN THE SANDS

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TERESH

WELL BURY ALL THE EVIDENCE

BUT SET ASIDE AN EAR

WELL BRONZE IT AND WELL KEEP IT

FOR A SOUVENEAR(souvenir)

BOTH

WELL BE BETTER OFF

WHEN WE BUMP HIM OFF

WELL BE FEELIN NICE

WHEN THE BOYS ON ICE

ITLL BE A SIGHT

WHEN WE DOUSE HIS LIGHT

IF WERE CAREFUL WHEN WE SLIT IM

THEN HELL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT IM

SYNCHRONIZE OUR WATCHES

LETS SET THE DATE

THE BOY IS GONNA HAVE

AN APPOINTMENT WITH FATE

I CAN SEE IT NOW

THE HEADLINESLL SAY

THE KING HAS BEEN DISCOVERED

IN A STATE OF DECAY

BIGTHANA

I HATE HIS SPEECHES

AND I HATE HIS VOICE

TERESH

I HATE THE AIR THAT HE BREATHES

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BOTH

WELL HAVE A REASON TO SING AND REJOICE

WHILE THE RELATIVES AND FRIENDS

ARE BUYIN FUNRAL WREATHS

LETS BREAK HIS NECK

LETS DO HIM IN

LETS MAKE IT

SO HE WONT BE SEEIN DAYLIGHT AGAIN

TERESH

ILL BRING THE BULLETS

BIGTHANA

ILL BRING THE GUN

BOTH

AHASUERUS WILL BE FERTILIZER WHEN WERE DONE

PERSIAS GONNA SHOUT WHEN WE RUB HIM OUT

ITLL BE A TRICK WHEN WE SNUFF HIS WICK

ILL BE FEELIN BRAVE WHEN WE DIG HIS GRAVE

MORDECAI

(interrupting)

EXCUSE ME, WHOD REPLACE HIM

IF YOU BOYS DECIDE TO WASTE HIM?

MORDECAI and the GUARDS surround the DOORKEEPERS. They look

around, realize their desperate situation and quickly have a

change of heart.

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BOTH

(scared)

GEE, WHAT A KING!

WEVE GOT IT GOOD

OBVIOUSLY

WEVE BEEN SORELY MISUNDERSTOOD

HES GOT OUR VOTE

HES NUMBER ONE

WHEN IT COMES TO KINGS

THE BOY IS SECOND TO NONE

BIGTHANA

IVE ALWAYS GIVEN HIM TOTAL RESPECT

TERESH

HE HOLDS A PLACE IN MY HEART

BIGTHANA

HES UNSURPASSED IN HIS INTELLECT

BOTH

AND ON TOP OF ALL OF THAT

THE MAN IS VERY SMART

LOOK AT THE TIME!

MY, HOW IT FLIES!

IM NEVER GOOD

AT GIVING LENGTHY GOODBYES

IF YOU SEE THE KING

GIVE HIM OUR BEST

TELL HIM THAT WELL CALL HIM

WHEN WE GET TO KEY WEST

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BOTH (CONTD)

WEVE GOTTA RUN

BUT ITS SURE BEEN FUN

WERE ON OUR WAY

THOUGH WED LIKE TO STAY

ITS AN AWFUL CRIME

BUT WERE OUT OF TIME

The GUARDS seize BIGTHANA and TERESH.

BOTH (CONTD)

IF YOU LET US GO, WE PROMISETHAT WELL MOVE TO THE BAHAMAS

MORDECAI and GUARDS drag DOORKEEPERS offstage. Lights up on

CARCAS.

CARCAS

It was a nice try, but plotting to kill

the king is a very serious matter,

especially if the plot is overheard.

Needless to say, they didnt let em

go.

Hanging sound effect. As CARCAS speaks, an elderly SECRETARY

stumbles in with a desk and a stool. She sits it down next to

CARCAS and opens a ledger. CARCAS turns to the SECRETARY as

spot comes up on desk. She bats her eyes at him flirtatiously.

CARCAS(CONTD)

Sweetheart, take this down: In the

third year of the reign of King

Ahasuerus, sovereign potentate of all

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CARCAS(CONTD)

Persian provinces, a plot against the

kings life was uncovered by Mordecai,

the Jew. The perpetrators were

captured and duly executed. Now, read

it back to me.

SECRETARY

Sweetheart...

CARCAS

You can leave the Sweetheart off,

sweetheart.

SECRETARY

(Disappointed)

But you said, Sweetheart...

CARCAS

Leave it off.

She scratches the word out of the ledger.

SECRETARY

Take this down: In the third year of

the reign of King Ahasuerus, sovereign

potentate of all Persian provinces, a

plot against the kings life was

uncovered by Mordecai, the Jew. The

perpetrators were captured and duly

executed.

CARCAS

Thank you very much. So the whole

event was recorded in the history books

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CARCAS (CONTD)

of the kingdom and placed on a shelf in

the royal library.

The SECRETARY gazes hopefully at CARCAS for a moment, not want-

ing to leave. He gestures for her to leave and recaps the in-

structions.

CARCAS

...recorded in the history books...

placed on a shelf...royal library.

SECRETARY

Can I call you sometime?

CARCAS

My numbers in the book.

SECRETARY

Whats your name?

CARCAS

Thats in the book, too.

The SECRETARY looks confused for a moment, then carries her

stack of books offstage. CARCAS watches her go, then delivers

the next monologue like an old-fashioned newsreel reporter.

CARCAS(CONTD)

Throughout history, men have risen to

power who seemed to be the very

embodiment of evil. From Mussolini to

Milosevic; from Hitler to Hussein,

hideous acts of violence and hate have

been played out in the world arena,

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CARCAS(CONTD)

orchestrated by men such as these.

Millions of innocent people have

perished and entire countries have been

destroyed to satisfy the bloodlust of

one mans wicked appetite for

destruction. Well, before there ever

was a Hitler, there was Haman, son of

Hammedatha, the Agagite, second in

command to King Ahasuerus, ruler of all

Persia.

During I GET RESPECT, the throne room is set up behind the cur-

tain. While HAMAN sings and struts around, EVERYONE bows down

to him except MORDECAI. As HE sings, HE is visibly perturbed

about this.

HAMAN

SOME PEOPLE SAY IM WICKED

SOME PEOPLE SAY IM CRUEL

THEY SAY THAT MANKIND IS BASICALLY GOOD

BUT IM THE EXCEPTION TO THAT RULE

THEY TELL ME IM EVIL AND VULGAR

A FRIEND OF THE DEVIL IN HELL

IM GLAD THAT THEYVE FINALLY FIGURED ME OUT

IM APPARENTLY DOING MY JOB VERY WELL

I GET RESPECT

THE KIND I DESERVE

THE KIND YOULL NEVER GET

WITHOUT A WHOLE LOT OF NERVE

I GET RESPECT

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HAMAN (CONTD)

YOU CANT DENY

NO ONE BETTER CROSS ME

YOULL REGRET IT IF YOU TRY

COMPANY

HES COLD AND HARSH

AND BAD AND MEAN

AND PROUD ABOUT IT

SCARIER THAN HALLOWEEN

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT

KEEP YOUR DISTANCE

GIVE HIM ROOM TO BREATHE

OR HELL BE BREATHIN DOWN YOUR NECK

HAMAN

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, BABY

I GET RESPECT

IVE TRAVELED LOTS OF PLACES

AND EVERYWHERE I GO

I FIND THAT HUMANITYS FALLING APART

AND BOUND FOR THAT HOT AND AWFUL PLACE DOWN BELOW

YOU ASK ME, WHATS THE ANSWER?

IS HELP TO BE FOUND ANYWHERE?

CAN PEOPLE STOP FIGHTING AND LEARN TO BEHAVE?

CALL ME A PESSIMIST

The COMPANY mutters, Pessimist, under their breath, which

throws HAMAN off for a second. HE glares at THEM sideways, and

then continues.

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HAMAN (CONTD)

I JUST DONT CARE

AS LONG AS I GET RESPECT

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT

ALONG WITH KING AHASUERUS

I RUN THE GOVERNMENT

I GET RESPECT

I HOLD THE REINS

PEOPLE TELL ME I WAS BORN

WITH POISON IN MY VEINS

COMPANY

HIS MOTHER DIDNT EVEN LOVE HIM

THATS THE STORY

EVERYTHING SHE TOLD US

WAS DEROGATORY

HES A SCOUNDREL

EASY DOES IT

WHEN YOU WALK WITH HAMAN, WATCH YOUR STEP

HAMAN


I GET RESPECT

HAMAN chases the terrfied COMPANY around the stage through in-

strumental section.

HAMAN (CONTD)

THE WORST OF ME IS YET TO BE

THE STORM IS COMIN

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HAMAN (CONTD)

SCARY SONGS AND MINOR TUNES

ARE ALL IM HUMMIN

CHORUS

HES A LOWLIFE

STAY AWAY FROM HAMAN

OR YOULL END UP IN A WRECK

HAMAN


I GET RESPECT

Last word of the song leaves HAMAN and MORDECAI facing off.

MORDECAIS FRIENDS try to get him to bow as song ends, but HE

wont. Song ends and action freezes. After applause, CARCAS

speaks and HAMAN and FRIENDS act out CARCAS narration.

CARCAS

Mordecai flatly refused to bow down to

Haman, so Haman and his friends got

together a diabolical plan to do away

with Mordecai and all his people once

and for all. They rolled dice, which

were called PUR, P-U-R, to decide on

a month and a day to get rid of all the

Jews in Persia.

HAMAN rolls big fuzzy dice

CARCAS(CONTD)

Then they wrote the whole plan out on a

piece of paper and took it to the king.

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ACT ONE SCENE SIX

SCENE: The kings throne room.

Curtain opens on throne room. HAMAN and FRIENDS enter. AHASU-

ERUS is sitting at his desk going through some important papers.

HAMAN sings first verse of THE EDICT to AHASUERUS. AHASUERUS is

too concerned with the papers on his desk to pay much attention

to HAMAN. By the end of the song, he signs the edict just to

get HAMAN out of his way.

HAMAN

I DONT MEAN TO BELLYACHE

BUT I HAVE A SMALL REQUEST TO MAKE

THESE FOREIGNERS, THEY TAKE THE CAKE

IM IN THE MOOD FOR GENOCIDE

THEY LAUGH AT YOUR AUTHORITY

WITH ALL YOUR WORDS, THEY DISAGREE

HITLER DOESNT HAVE A THING ON ME


EVERYONE AROUND THE GLOBE

WILL HEAR THE NEWS

THE WORLDS A BETTER PLACE

WITHOUT A BUNCH OF JEWS

IF YOU WILL SIGN THIS PAPER HERE

THE JEWS WILL SIMPLY DISAPPEAR

AND I WILL SHED A GRATEFUL TEAR


During instrumental section, CARCAS speaks as AHASUERUS signs

and seals edict.

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CARCAS

Ahasuerus approved Kill-a-Jew Day,

signed the paper and sealed it.

Thousands of copies were made and the

proclamation was announced over the

whole kingdom.

COMPANY enters through audience with stacks of proclamations

reading, HAMANS EXTERMINATION DAYSOON! and passes them out

to the audience on the way to the stage.

CHORUS

FATE HAS DEALT A WICKED BLOW

WERE VICTIMS OF THE UNDERTOW

BECAUSE THAT LOUSY SO-AND-SO

IS IN THE MOOD FOR GENOCIDE

THERES NOTHING WE CAN SAY OR DO

THE FUTURES BLACK FOR EVERY JEW

ITS TIME FOR PANIC TO ENSUE

HES IN THE MOOD FOR GENOCIDE

MORDECAI

ESTHER WILL NOT BE EXEMPT FROM THE DECREE

SHE IS JUST AS MUCH A JEW AS YOU OR ME

CHORUS

WHEN HAMAN DEALS THE FATAL HANDWELL TAKE A STRONG AND FINAL STAND

YOULL HEAR A CRY THROUGHOUT THE LAND

HES IN THE MOOD FOR GENOCIDE

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Song ends with COMPANY throwing copies into the air and letting

them float to the floor. After applause, CARCAS runs to center

stage with a copy of the script in hand and a pencil behind his

ear.

CARCAS

Will Haman carry out his devious deed?

ORCHESTRA plays a scary chord and the COMPANY reacts.

CARCAS(CONTD)

Will the Jews be fitted for pine

pajamas?

(Scary chord)

Will Mordecai ever pay homage to Haman?

(Scary chord)

Is Carcas really a eunuch...WHAT??!!

HE grabs a pencil from behind his ear and quickly erases this

entry from the script. Scary chord.

CARCAS (CONTD)

The answers to these and more in

fifteen minutes when we return

to...STAR QUEEN

The COMPANY encourages the crowd to come back as the lights go

down. When they come back up, HAMAN is the only one on stage.

HE scowls and yells at the people still in their seats.

HAMAN

Go! Have fun! Enjoy yourselves

HE growls at the audience as the curtain comes down.

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ACT TWO SCENE ONE

SCENE: The palace gates after dark. Scene opens on CARCAS and

the sound of MORDECAI weeping and wailing.

CARCAS

Youre probably wondering whos doing

all the weeping and wailing. Esther

wondered, too.

Spot on ESTHER inside gates, looking out.

CARCAS (CONTD)

It was Mordecai...

Spot on MORDECAI sitting outside the gates in sackcloth, dumping

ashes on his head and crying.

CARCAS (CONTD)

...grieving about the proclamation.

ESTHER

Mordecai! Youll wake the whole

neighborhood! Whats gotten into you?

MORDECAI

You mean, you dont know?

ESTHER

Know what?

MORDECAI

You really dont know.

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ESTHER

(yells)

MORDECAI!

(whispers)

Mordecai, I dont like guessing games.

Now, just tell me what all the fuss is

about.

MORDECAI

Its Haman. He wants me dead.

ESTHER

Haman? Why would Haman want to kill

you?

MORDECAI

Hes a jealous, evil man, Esther, and

he wont just stop with me. Your

husband, King Ahasuerus, has signed and

sealed a proclamation written by Haman

that all the Jews in Persia are to be

exterminated. Now, youve got to do

something to stop this, because the

proclamation includes you as well.

ESTHER

Mordecai, I may be the queen, but I

must have an invitation to even

approach his majesty, much less speak

to him. And in this respect, I am no

different from any of the girls in his

harem. I could be executed.

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MORDECAI

Then you will die either way. If you

choose not to help, then deliverance

will come from somewhere else. Who

knows but that you have been brought to

the kingdom for such a time as this?

MORDECAI

WHO KNOWS WHY YOURE HERE?

WHO KNOWS WHY YOURE YOU?

WHO KNOWS WHY YOU LIKE TO DO

THE KINDS OF THINGS YOU DO?WHO KNOWS WHAT YOULL BE?

WHO KNOWS WHAT YOULL DO?

WHO KNOWS WHY YOU ENDED UP

THE PERSON WE CALL, YOU?

MMAYBE ITS FORTUNE

MAYBE COINCIDENCE

MAYBE ITS YOUR LUCKY DAY

ID SAY THAT MAYBE

THERES MORE IN YOUR FUTURE

THAN TEN THOUSAND PSYCHICS COULD SAY

YOURE PART OF THE PICTURE

THOUGH YOU CANT SEE HOW

AND ID SAY

YOURE RIGHT WHERE YOU NEED TO BE NOW

FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS

THERES A PURPOSE AND A PLAN

YOU WERE SELECTED TO WALK IN THOSE SHOES

FROM THE MINUTE YOUR STORY BEGAN

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MORDECAI (CONTD)


YOU CAN PUT YOUR TRUST IN ME

CAUSE IM PUTTING ALL OF MY BETS ON THE FACT

THAT YOURE WHO YOU NEED TO BE

YOUVE GOT POTENTIAL

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT

YOU ARE THE STAR OF THE SHOW

EVIDENCE INDICATES

YOU NEED TO PULL THE WEIGHT

MORE THAN YOU EVER COULD KNOW

TO FINISH THE PUZZLE

JUST ONE PIECE WILL FIT

AND ILL BE THE FIRST TO ADMIT

THAT YOURE IT








THAT YOURE WHO YOU NEED TO

BE WHO YOU ARE




! ! 43

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ESTHER

IVE NEVER BEEN STRONG ENOUGH

SMART ENOUGHGOOD ENOUGH

NEVER HAD ALL MY STUFF UP TO SNUFF

PLAYED IT TOUGH

NOW I CAN SEE

THAT IVE JUST GOT TO BE

WHAT I KNOW IN MY HEART

I AM DESTINED TO BE

WHAT A WONDERFUL FEELING

TO KNOW I AM FREE TO BE ME

Mordecai, go and gather all the Jews in

the city and fast for me. Dont eat or

drink for three days, night or day. My

maids and I will do the same. When

this is done, Ill go to the king, even

though its against the law. And if I

perish, I perish.

MORDECAI and ESTHER embrace.

MORDECAI

YOURE SOMETHIN SPECIAL

SOMETHIN TO SING ABOUT

YOU ARE A DREAM COMING TRUE

LOOKING AHEADAT THE THINGS YOULL ACCOMPLISH

IS QUITE A SPECTACULAR VIEW

THE GAME ISNT OVER

TILL SOMEBODY WINS

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MORDECAI (CONTD)

YOU PLAY YOUR HAND

AND THE WINNING BEGINS


ESTHER


MORDECAI


ESTHER

I DONT UNDERSTAND

MORDECAI



ESTHER

MINUTE MY STORY BEGAN

MORDECAI


ESTHER


MORDECAI


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ESTHER

I WILL TRUST IN YOU

MORDECAI


THAT YOURE WHO YOU NEED TO BE

ESTHER

IM WHO I NEED TO BE

CARCAS

This was all very new to Esther, and

now she felt responsible for the lives

of all her people. Now, its always

nice to be able to go to friends for

advice in the time of a crisis, and

that is exactly what Esther did.

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ACT TWO SCENE TWO

SCENE: The palace beauty parlor. Several women are hav ing

their nails done, hair put up in curlers, etc. The parlor is

being run by four loudly dressed attendants. ESTHER enters.

GIRL 1

Girls, girls! We have a celebrity

visitor!

The GIRLS gather around.

GIRL 2

Well, if it aint Miss Persia herself!

GIRL 3

Prettiest queen the world has seen!

GIRL 1

Ill say, pretty! And smart and rich

and witty...and comin in here all

sour-pussed and tail-tucked like

somebody just signed a contract to wipe

out your whole family or somethin!

GIRL 4

Yeah. What gives? You just fall off

the star or what?

ESTHER

Well, I...

GIRL 2

I know what it is. Youve been missin

all of us since you got your new job,

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GIRL 2 (CONTD)

and youre feelin bad cause you never

call no more, you never have coffee and

cheesecake with us no more...

GIRL 4

You never make that cream of mushroom

soup for us no more.

GIRL 3

Oh, Esther! I used to love that cream

of mushroom soup. Yall, I could lay

down in a tub of that stuff and be

like, Calgon, take me away!

GIRL 1

Girls, girls! It appears to me that

Esther has a little more on her mind

right now than coffee and cream of

mushroom soup, okay? Now, what really

brings you down here?

ESTHER

Well...Ahasuerus...

GIRL 2

Ahasuerus, schmasuerus. Is he giving

you a hard time? Cause if he is, I

wanna know. Ill go straight up there

and give him a piece of my mind, cause

Im from Miami.

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ESTHER

No, no...its nothing like that. He

treats me well. He loves me. Oh, its

all so complicated.

GIRL 3

Constipated? Honey, I know how you

feel. But Carcas brought me a bag of

these little herbal tea leaves from

Egypt. You brew em with some honey

and a couple of sprigs of

parsley, and they will set you free,Baby! WHOOOO!

GIRL 1

Not constipated. Complicated. She

said it was complicated.

(To ESTHER)

Do you wanna talk about it?

ESTHER

Actually, that would be very nice.

GIRL 1

Then you have come to the right place.

Now, just sit yourself down right there

and give us the dirt.

ESTHER sits down. The girls go sit in the hair dryer chairs and

cross their legs at once.

ESTHER

I need to speak to the king, but I

cant approach him unless Im invited.

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THE GIRLS

Yes...

ESTHER

You see, if I just go walking into the

court unannounced, I could have my head

chopped off.

GIRL 4

This would not be good.

All the girls voice their assent and begin babbling to each

other about it.

ESTHER

(interrupting)

AHEM! You see, the problem is...

THE GIRLS

MmHmm?...

They all lean toward ESTHER at once.

ESTHER

The problem is, if I dont approach him

fast, it may be too late when he does

decide to invite me in. And girls, I

have got to have that man right here.

She wraps an imaginary string around her finger.

ESTHER (CONTD)

So you have got to make me look good.

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GIRL 4

Say no more. You will speak to the

king today!

GIRL 3

Guaranteed!

GIRL 2

Yeah. You just need a little lesson in

the fine art of flirting.

While the GIRLS sing, they work on ESTHER, dolling her up. By

the end of the song, shes a knockout.

GIRL 3

WHEN YOUVE GOT A MAN

THAT YOU NEED TO IMPRESS

JUST RELY ON YOUR FEMALE RESOURCES

YOUR NATURAL BEAUTY

WILL BRING MORE SUCCESS

THAN YOULL GET FROM THOSE ETIQUETTE COURSES

GIRL 4

BUT, IF WE ASKED GOOD MISTER BUTLER

WHAT HE SAW IN MISS OHARA

WOULD IT BE HER DISPOSITION

OR THE SHADE OF HER MASCARA?

IF MARC ANTONY COULD ANALYZE

HIS LOVE FOR CLEOPATRA

DO YOU THINK HED SAY

THE WAY HER DRESS WAS CUT

WOULD REALLY MATTRA? (matter)

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GIRL 2

YES!

ITS SAD, BUT ITS TRUE

IF YOU WANT HIS ATTENTION

THERES A LIST OF INGREDIENTS

WE NEED TO MENTION

YOU NEED A MANICURE

A PEDICURE

YOU NEED TO SPEND A LITTLE MONEY

ON A CLASSY COIFFURE

YOUR REPUTATIONS AT STAKE

YOU NEED TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION, GIRL

WHATEVER IT TAKES

I SUGGEST

A BRAND NEW DRESS

TO GET YOUR POINT ACROSS TO HIM

WITH FASHION FINESSE

YOU NEED TO POUR ON THE SAUCE

MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION, GIRL

NO MATTER THE COST

TRIO

NECKLACES AND PERFUME

RINGS AND BRACELETS

WE NEED ALL THE JEWELRY WE CAN GET

LIPOSUCTION, TUMMY TUCKS AND FACELIFTS

ITS ABOUT ENOUGH TO KEEP A GIRL IN DEBT

ALL US GIRLS

WE NEED TO KEEP OUR CURLS

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TRIO (CONTD)

WE CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY

DIAMONDS OR PEARLS

AROUND OUR ANKLES AND NECKS

WE NEED TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION

ON THE OPPOSITE SEX

PURISTS TRY TO TELL YOU

SKIP THE MAKEUP.

BEAUTY IS A THING FOUND IN YOUR HEART.

PURISTS NEVER SEE ME WHEN I WAKE UP

NOTHINS GONNA KEEP ME

AND MY LIPSTICK APART

GIRL 2

ITS COMMONPLACE

TO SEE A GIRL IN LACE

SLAPPIN SEVEN LAYERS

OF THE STUFF ON HER FACE

TO KEEP THE GENTLEMEN HOT

YOU NEED TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION, BABY

LIKE IT OR NOT

TRIO

MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION, BABY

LIKE IT OR NOT

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ACT TWO SCENE THREE

SCENE: The kings throne room. AHASUERUS is busy studying a pa-

per with some of his aides. ESTHER walks in and AHASUERUS stops

and stares. All aides walk away except CARCAS.

CARCAS

When the king saw Esther, he couldnt

believe his eyes!

The KING walks center stage and really hams up the reprise.

AHASUERUS

TIME CAN STAND STILL

EVERY TIME YOU WALK BY

ALL THE STARS STOP AND STARE

AS THEY BURN IN THE SKY

IVE NEVER FELT SO INCREDIBLY NEW

LIFE WAS A DRAG TIL I RAN INTO YOU

AHASUERUS grasps ESTHERs hand and kisses it gently.

AHASUERUS (CONTD)

Tell me, Queen Esther. What is your

request? Say what it is you want and

Ill give it to you, even if its...

ESTHER and AHASUERUS look out into the audience at once as the

king emphasizes...

AHASUERUS (CONTD)

...half of my kingdom.

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ESTHER

If it pleases you, your majesty, I have

prepared a banquet today for you and

Haman. My only request is that you

would both do me the honor of

attending.

AHASUERUS

I would like nothing more, my beautiful

queen. Carcas! Fetch Haman at once.

Weve been invited to a party!

CARCAS walks across the stage where HAMAN is standing while the

banquet scene is set up with lots of balloons and streamers.

CARCAS sings first verse to HAMAN. HAMANS SERVANT primps and

prepares him for the party while CARCAS sings.

CARCAS

YOUVE BEEN INVITED TO A PARTY WITH ESTHER

YES, YOURE TO BE THE HONORED GUEST, SIR!

YOULL BE DOING LUNCH AT THE RESTAUR-

ANT IN THE PALACE OF THE QUEEN

BET YOU FEEL LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS

WASH YOUR FACE AND STRAIGHTEN YOUR COLLAR

ILL SHOW THE WAY SO YOU CAN FOLLER

ME TO THE PALACE OF THE QUEEN

THE KING AND THE QUEEN

REQUEST THE PLEASURE OF YOUR PRESENCE

A GREATER HONOR NO ONE COULD RECEIVE

(aside)

BUT HIS BUBBLE WOULD BE BURST

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CARCAS (CONTD)

AND HE WOULD LOSE HIS EFFERVESCENCE

IF HE KNEW THE QUEEN HAD SOMETHING UP HER SLEEVE

HAMAN

What was that?

CARCAS

(back to HAMAN)

YOU MUST BE UP ON THE HIERARCHY

TO BE A GUEST AT A PRIVATE PARTY

SPECIALLY AND PARTICULARLYONE IN THE PALACE OF THE QUEEN

HAMAN sings second verse as THEY walk toward the banquet.

HAMAN

IVE BEEN INVITED TO A PARTY WITH ESTHER

MY, WHAT A KIND AND NOBLE GESTURE!

WINE AND WOMEN AND SONG AND JESTERS

ALL IN THE PALACE OF THE QUEEN

IM CONSIDERING A PLEASANT NOTION

MAYBE THE QUEEN HAS MADE A MOTION

THAT I BE CONSIDERED FOR A BIG PROMOTION

HERE IN THE PALACE OF THE KING

ESTHER KNOWS

AHASUERUS IS WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGER

ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS WAVE HER HAND

AND THERES NOTHING IN THE WORLD

HE WOULDNT KILL HIMSELF TO BRING ER

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HAMAN (CONTD)

HER WISH HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE KINGS COMMAND

ILL SEE YOU IN ESTHERS PALACE

SET ME A PLACE WITH A CRYSTAL CHALICE

TELL MY BROKER, IF HE CALLS FROM DALLAS

IM HAVING LUNCH WITH THE QUEEN

HAMAN takes his place at the center of the table with ESTHER and

AHASUERUS on either end. CARCAS stands behind the table with a

towel over his arm serving wine. Three GUARDS stand behind ES-

THER, HAMAN and AHASUERUS.

AHASUERUS

Splendid party, my dear! Youve

outdone yourself.

HAMAN

I must agree, your majesty. Frankly,

Im flattered that you invited me to

such an exclusive engagement.

AHASUERUS

Darling, whats the occasion? Surely

there must be some reason for all of

this. I have told you that I would

give you whatever you ask, even up

to...

EVERYONE looks out into the audience at once as the KING empha-

sizes...

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AHASUERUS (CONTD)

...half of my kingdom. Now, tell me

whats on your mind.

ESTHER, AHASUERUS and HAMAN freeze.

CARCAS

There sat King Ahasuerus, there sat

Queen Esther, and there sat Haman.

Talk about a golden opportunity! This

could have been the biggest event of

the year for the Jews. She could have

saved all of her people just by saying

the word. She looked at the king, she

looked at Haman, and...

Rubber chickens fall from ceiling.

CARCAS (CONTD)

...she chickened out.

ESTHER

I...Im having another party tomorrow

and I would like both of you to attend.

Same time, same place.

EVERYONE ELSE

Sounds good to me!

THEY all stand and say their goodbyes while CARCAS speaks. HA-

MAN grabs a balloon on the way out and begins walking home.

EVERYONE bows to HIM on his way.

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CARCAS

Haman was on cloud nine. Imagine being

invited to two private Persian parties

in two days with the king and queen!

But on the way home...

HAMAN gets to MORDECAI and MORDECAI wont bow. They face off.

CARCAS(CONTD)

Mordecai popped his balloon again.

MORDECAI pulls hatpin out and pops HAMANs balloon.

CARCAS(CONTD)

Haman was furious.

HAMAN

You will bow to me, Jew. Make no

mistake about it.

HAMAN storms off.

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ACT TWO SCENE FOUR

SCENE: Inside HAMANs house

HAMAN

(to ZERESH, furiously)

Look at us, Zeresh. We are the richest

couple in Persia next to the king and

queen. Ive got the second highest

position in the whole kingdom, I have

hundreds of servants at my beck and

call and the king respects me so much,

he will do virtually whatever I ask. I

decide what laws to enforce. I

supervise the royal troops. I am in

charge of all of the kings affairs,

foreign and domestic. I have just

returned from a private party with the

king and queenjust them and meand

Ive been invited to another one

tomorrow. I should be the happiest man

in Persia. But all of that means

nothing to me as long as I see Mordecai

the Jew standing at the kings gate day

after day after day.

ZERESH

(With an accent)

You really hate this guy, dont you,

Haman?

HAMAN

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Hate him? I wont have a moments peace

until Im able to spit in the hole they

bury him in!

ZERESH

Well, me neither, so you just sit down

right there and I tell you what we

gonna do. Okay?

When ZERESH says, Me neither, she punctuates each syllable

with a snap, outlining a Z in the air.

HAMAN

(Imitating her accent)

Okay.

ZERESH

Ill call the carpenters union and

have them send a few fellas over to

build a seventy-five-foot gallows here

in thee back yard. You yourself say

the king will do anything you ask, so

why dont you go bright and early in

the morning and ask the king if you can

hang Mordecai now on your brand spank-

ing new gallows as a kind of early

installment on Kill-a-Jew Day?

ZERESH whaps HAMAN on the behind when she says, spanking. HA-

MAN thinks for a moment, smiles, and embraces ZERESH.

HAMAN

Its brilliant! Its perfect! Youre

perfect!

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HAMAN

MORDECAIS TOO BIG FOR HIS BRITCHES

WHEN IM THROUGH WITH HIM, WELL, IT JUST

MIGHT MEAN HELL HAVE TO GET SOME STITCHES

HES GONNA TAKE A FALL

MORDECAIS ON MY BLACKLIST, BABY

THAT BOYS GOT HIS HELL TO PAY. BE-

FORE IM THROUGH WITH HIM, HELL PRAY HED

NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALL

THE HIGHEST OFFICIALS IN THE KINGDOM

ALL RESPECT ME

THEY WORSHIP AND ADORE ME AS I PASS

BUT THIS MORDECAI WONT BOW

AND ITS BEGINNING TO UPSET ME

HES A REGULAR PAIN IN THE

ASK ME IF ILL SAY HIS NAME AND

THEN YOULL KNOW WHOLL SOON BE HANGIN

FROM A GALLOWS BUILT BY HAMAN

OUT BY THE GARDEN WALL

MORDECAI IS GONNA DIE

TOMORROW HELL BE HANGIN HIGH

ILL BUILD A GALLOWS TO THE SKY

IM IN THE MOOD FOR HOMICIDE

WELL RAISE HIS BODY GOOD AND SLOW

AND WATCH HIM SWINGING TO AND FRO

WELL SELL SOME TICKETS TO THE SHOW


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HAMAN and ZERESH begin to tango

EVERY NIGHT THE THOUGHT OF HIM KEEPS ME AWAKE

IVE HAD ALL OF MORDECAI THAT I CAN TAKE

TOMORROW WHEN THE WEB IS SPUN

THE NOOSEANCE WILL BE GONE (PARDON THE PUN)

(He holds up a noose)

THE DEED IS JUST AS GOOD AS DONE


CARPENTERS enter as HAMAN sings and begin building the gallowsas a dance. HAMAN falls asleep with hangmans noose in hand.

During dance, AHASUERUS bedchamber scene is also set up.

CARCAS

Haman slept like a baby that night.

But Ahasuerus, he tossed and turned

half the night and couldnt get a wink

of sleep. Finally, he sent the

secretary down to the royal library to

get some books for him to read, so she

brought back a whole stack of the best

kinds of books to go to sleep to:

history books.

Lights come up on AHASUERUS bedchamber. AHASUERUS is in bed,

surrounded by stacks of books. One stack is conspicuously the

same stack that the secretary carried offstage after the plot

against the kings life. The clock on the wall behind his bed

begins to rapidly tick the hours away to daybreak.

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CARCAS

Even that didnt work. King Ahasuerus

read Persian history all night long and

never even felt drowsy.

The SECRETARY hands him one book after another and he turns and

piles them on the bed with all the other books.

CARCAS(CONTD)

Then, at daybreak...

Clock stops at 6am as the SECRETARY hands him the book with Mor-

decais story in it. Ahasuerus turns around and the book hits

him squarely in the eye.

CARCAS(CONTD)

...something caught the kings eye.

AHASUERUS

A plot against my life...uncovered by

Mordecai the Jew...Perpetratorsarrested and executed.

CARCAS

When the king read that, he called for

me immediately.

AHASUERUS

Carcas!

CARCAS

(To audience)

So I went to him.

(To AHASUERUS)

Yes, your majesty?

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(to audience)

He asked me a question.

AHASUERUS

Did we ever reward Mordecai the Jew for

saving my life?

CARCAS

(To audience)

So I looked at the book and said,

(To AHASUERUS)

No, sir, it appears we didnt!

(To audience)

Then the king said...

AHASUERUS

Carcas, weve gotta do something about

that! Whos out in the courtyard right

now?

CARCAS

(To audience)

So I looked out the window and said,

(To AHASUERUS)

Why, its High-man, your hey-ness!

(A take to the audience)

...I mean, its Haman, your highness...

(An embarrassed beat)

...and the king said...

AHASUERUS

Ah! Haman. Show him in.

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HAMAN is humming, Mordecai is gonna die while HE walks through

the courtyard.

CARCAS

(To audience)

So I said to Haman,

(To HAMAN)

The king wants to see you right away!

(To audience)

So Haman came up.

AHASUERUS

HAMAN, YOURE JUST WHO I NEEDED TO SEE

MY FAITHFUL ADVISER AND FRIEND

OF ALL OF THE MEN IN MY KINGDOM

THERES ONE ID ESPECIALLY LIKE TO COMMEND

IM SORRY I EVER NEGLECTED

TO PUBLICLY HONOR HIS ADMIRABLE DEED

SO IM MAKING AMENDS

AND IM COUNTING ON YOU

TO COME UP WITH THE PLAN THAT I NEED

HAMAN

(to HIMSELF)

SURELY ITS ME! SURELY ITS ME!

WHO WOULD THE KING WANT TO HONOR BUT ME?

IM FIRST ON HIS LISTAND ALL PERSIA WILL SEE

THAT AHASUERUS SAID IT

IM GETTING THE CREDIT

THE KING HAS OFFICIALLY SIGNED THE DECREE

WHO ELSE COULD IT POSSIBLY BE?

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HAMAN (CONTD)

ITS ME!

(to AHASUERUS)

FORGET ALL YOUR WORRIES AND SIT FOR A SPELL

AND LET ME UNRAVEL A SCHEME

A WAY TO EXHIBIT YOUR ROYAL APPROVAL

BEYOND ANY MANS WILDEST DREAM

EXTRAVAGANCE, OPULENCE, FASHION AND FLAIR

THESE ARE THE WORDS I WOULD USE

A POMPOUS PARADE ON YOUR VERY OWN STEED

AND A PAIR OF THE KINGS FINEST SHOES

A CROWN ON THE HEAD OF THE MAN YOU HAVE CHOSEN

AND, JUST FOR THE FUN OF THE THING

A ROBE ON HIS BACK, A STAFF IN HIS HAND

AND ON HIS FINGER, THE KINGS SIGNET RING

AHASUERUS

BUT, THE QUESTION REMAINS

AS TO WHOLL RUN THE SHOW

I AM STRANGELY UNABLE TO THINK

I SOLICIT YOUR LEARNED OPINION

BECAUSE IM AFRAID I AM DRAWING A BLANK

HAMAN

HE MUST BE A MAN OF POSITION

WELL RESPECTED AMONG THE ELITE

A POWERFUL VOICE IN THE KINGDOM

AND HE SHOULD BE WARMING A GOVERNMENT SEAT

A CABINET MEMBERA VOTE IN THE HOUSE

AN INTERNAL POLICY MAN

THE HEAD OF DOMESTIC AFFAIRS

OR MAYBE AMBASSADOR TO FOREIGN LANDS

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AHASUERUS

NOW I KNOW WHOLL HAVE THE HONOR

OF LEADING THIS MAN THROUGH THE STREETS

IN THE KINGS MOTORCADE

I WOULD BET THAT BY NOW YOU COULD GUESS

WHOLL BE RIDING MY HORSE IN TOMORROWS PARADE

HAMAN

SURELY ITS ME! SURELY ITS ME!

WHO WOULD THE KING WANT TO HONOR BUT ME?

IM FIRST ON HIS LIST AND ALL PERSIA WILL SEE

THAT AHASUERUS SAID IT

IM GETTING THE CREDIT

THE KING HAS OFFICIALLY SIGNED THE DECREE

WHO ELSE COULD IT POSSIBLY BE?

YOUR HIGHNESS, IM HONORED

AHASUERUS

WHO ELSE COULD I CHOOSE?

HAMAN

HOW CAN I EVER REPAY YOU?

AHASUERUS

THE PLEASURE IS MINE, MY DEAR HAMAN

AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO SHOW OFF AND DISPLAY YOU?

YOURE THE BEST MAN IVE GOT

AND YOU NEED TO BE FRESH

SO HERES WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO

ARRANGE EVERYTHING FOR THIS EVENINGS PARADE

WHERE YOULL LEAD AND HONOR MORDECAI THE JEW\

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HAMAN

(Jumping into the

throne)

ITS ME! SURELY ITS ME!

WHO WOULD THE KING WANT TO HONOR BUT...

HE suddenly realizes what AHASUERUS said.

HAMAN (CONTD)

MORDECAI??!!!

Parade music begins. HAMAN is pulled off stage in the throne

and the parade begins. Its a typical parade with banners, ba-

ton twirlers, clowns, jugglers, and cheerleaders.

CHEERLEADERS

Ready?

Okay!

M-O!

M-O-R-D!

M-O-R-D-E-C-A-I!

Mordecai! Mordecai! Hes our man!

If he cant do it,

No one can!

Gooooooo, Mordecai!

Whoo!

While parade happens downstage, ESTHERs banquet hall is set up

again. At the end of the parade is HAMAN leading MORDECAI

through the streets on the kings horse dressed in all the

kings finery. As the paraders exit the stage, they chant,

Mordecais the guy! Hey! Mordecais the guy! over and over

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in a conga line. After the parade, CARCAS leads HAMAN to the

final party with ESTHER and AHASUERUS. The party is arranged

identical to the previous one. HAMAN is still dazed as he takes

his place at the table with ESTHER and AHASUERUS. They take a

seat on the opposite sides of the table from where they sat at

the last party. There is a red balloon on ESTHERS chair. When

HAMAN sits down, everyone freezes except CARCAS. He walks

around the table, examining everything. He notices that the

KING and QUEEN are sitting in different places, so he makes them

switch. They roll their eyes and change places. ESTHER mur-

murs, I wanted the red balloon, and sits down in a huff in the

right chair. The GUARDS behind them switch places as well.

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ACT TWO SCENE FIVE

SCENE: ESTHERs banquet hall

CARCAS

Yep. Thats just how I remember it.

Now, this is about how that party went.

CARCAS steps behind table again in the role of a waiter as CHAR-

ACTERS unfreeze. EVERYONE seems tentative and on edge. CARCAS

picks a banana out of the bunch and begins to peel it.

AHASUERUS

Splendid parade you put on there,

Haman. I certainly couldnt have

pulled it off without you. What did

you think, my dear?

ESTHER

(anxiously)

Oh, it was wonderful. Im very happyfor him.

AHASUERUS

Yes, yes, of course. How about some

more grapes, Haman?

HAMAN

(still dazed)

Er...um...no. No thank you, sire.

AHASUERUS grabs CARCAS arm and offers the banana to HAMAN.

AHASUERUS

Banana?

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HAMAN

No, thank you. It doesnt have appeal.

(a peel.)

The GUARDS do a little drum roll with two snaps and a pop on

their fists.

AHASUERUS

You? Not hungry? Whats gotten into

you? Youre a million miles away.

Esther, would you please pass me some

of that venison? Ah! Thank you,

Darling!

HE takes a bite of the venison and speaks sarcastically.

AHASUERUS (CONTD)

Mmmm! This is gooood venison!

EVERYONE mimics HIM by saying, Mmmm! AHASUERUS eats in si-

lence for a moment while EVERYONE watches. Finally, AHASUERUSslaps the table, causing EVERYONE to jump.

AHASUERUS (CONTD)

Good grief! Its too quiet in here!

Its like eating in a graveyard. And

Esther, youve been as jumpy as a

rabbit since yesterday. If youd tell

me whats troubling you, Im sure its

nothing that cant be immediately

solved. Ive told you Id give you...

Once again, EVERYONE looks out into the audience at once as the

king emphasizes...

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AHASUERUS (CONTD)

...half of my kingdom if you asked me

for it. Now, what the devil is going

on?

AHASUERUS, CARCAS AND HAMAN

HALF OF THE KINGDOM!

ESTHER

(Singing to herself

anxiously)

HALF OF THE KINGDOMDO I WANT IT?

NO, I DOUBT IT

IM REALLY BETTER OFF WITHOUT IT

HALF OF THE KINGDOM

ITS MORE THAN I DESERVE

HALF OF THE KINGDOM

LET ME THINK ABOUT IT

DO I REALLY HAVE THE NERVE?

BUT SOMEONE SHOULD DO IT

OR TRY TO PURSUE IT

ITS MORE THAN THE LIFE OF JUST ONE GIRL AT STAKE

MAYBE HE WILL KILL OR REJECT ME

SOMEHOW I SUSPECT HE

WILL LISTEN AND QUICKLY CORRECT HIS MISTAKE

AHASUERUS invites the GUARDS to join in. THEYRE having a good

ol time singing.

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AHASUERUS, CARCAS, HAMAN AND GUARDS


ESTHER

HALF OF THE KINGDOM

YEAH, HE SAID IT

I THINK HE MEANT IT

HE WOULDNA SAID IT IF HE DIDNT

HALF OF THE KINGDOM

BUT WHO AM I TO ASK?

HALF OF THE KINGDOM

GIVE ME JUST A MINUTE

ITS A MONUMENTAL TASK

IM TREMBLING AND SHAKING

WHILE HAMAN IS MAKING

THOSE SOFT, SUBTLE SELF-RIGHTEOUS SIGHS IN MY EAR

WHEN I TELL THE KING HOW HE TRICKED HIM

AND MADE ME A VICTIM

IT WONT BE A GOOD DAY FOR HAMANS CAREER

WHAT WILL THEY WRITE IN THE HISTORY BOOKS

THAT A LITTLE QUEEN

TRIED TO INTERVENE

PUTTING EVERYTHING ON THE LINE

OR WHEN THEY ARE PUTTING

THEIR PENS TO THE PAGE

WILL THE BLAME FOR A PULVERIZED NATION BE MINE?

IVE NEVER BEEN STRONG ENOUGH

SMART ENOUGH

GOOD ENOUGH

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MORDECAI

BE WHO YOU ARE


ESTHER

NEVER HAD ALL MY STUFF UP TO SNUFF

PLAYED IT TOUGH

MORDECAI



ESTHER


MORDECAI


ESTHER


MORDECAI

NOW YOU UNDERSTAND

ESTHER

I WAS SELECTED TO WALK IN THESE SHOES

FROM THE MINUTE MY STORY BEGAN

MORDECAI

MINUTE YOUR STORY BEGAN

ESTHER


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MORDECAI


ESTHER


MORDECAI

I WILL TRUST IN YOU

ESTHER

AND PLACE EVERY ONE OF YOUR BETS ON THE FACT

THAT IM WHO YOU NEED TO BE

MORDECAI

YOURE WHO YOU NEED TO BE

MORDECAI invites some other GUARDS into the room to join in on

the singing.

EVERYONE BUT ESTHER


ESTHER

HALF OF THE KINGDOM

YEAH, YOU HEARD IT

YOU HEARD HIM SAY IT

IVE GOTTA TELL HIM RIGHT AWAY

ITS NOW OR ITS NEVER

BUT REALLY, WHATS THE RUSH?

HALF OF THE KINGDOM

NO, I WONT DELAY IT

NO, I CANT AFFORD TO BLUSH

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ESTHER (CONTD)

WONT WAIT ANY LONGER

IVE GOT TO BE STRONG OR

WERE NOTHING BUT NIGHTCRAWLERS ON HAMANS HOOK

EVEN IF I PERISH IVE GOT TO

ITS TOO CRUCIAL NOT TO

IF I KEEP ON STALLING, OUR GOOSE WILL BE COOKED

HALF OF THE KINGDOM

DO I WANT IT?

NO, I DOUBT IT!

Oh, your majesty, its not your kingdom

I want...its my life. Someone is

trying to kill me.

AHASUERUS

(furiously)

WHAT??!!

ESTHER

And thats not all. He also wants to

kill all of my people.

HAMAN begins to pooh-pooh the idea. HES still unaware that ES-

THER is talking about HIM. HES agreeing with all that the KING

is saying and chuckling to HIMSELF as if the thought of someone

plotting against the QUEEN is absurd.

AHASUERUS

(Rising from his chair)

Who would dare touch a hair on your

head? What kind of an idiot would try

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AHASUERUS (CONTD)

to kill all of your people while Im

alive?

ESTHER points to HAMAN.

ESTHER

(confidently)

Haman.

AHASUERUS

(livid)

WHAT??!!

HAMAN snaps out of his confident attitude with a look of horror

on his face. ACTORS simulate slow-motion in action and speech.

AHASUERUS flies across the table, grabbing HAMANs collar.

AHASUERUS (CONTD)

You lying, murdering piece of...WHO DO

YOU THINK YOU ARE??!!

AHASUERUS flings HAMAN across the room. CARCAS joins the king

in beating HAMAN up, laughing, and tag teaming, all in slow-

motion. An alternate way to do this scene is to have the lights

go down and come back up on different scenes of HAMAN being

beaten up. A simulation of a slide show, so to speak. After a

few seconds, ACTORS resume normal speed. AHASUERUS storms down-

stage with CARCAS on his heels. HAMAN falls over onto ESTHER,

pleading for his life.

HAMAN

(in a panic)

Oh, your highness, please! Please! I

had no idea you were Jewish. I take it

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HAMAN (CONTD)

all back, I promise! I swear on my

mothers grave that nothing will happen

to you. Please talk to the king! Talk

to him!

AHASUERUS turns around and sees HAMAN on top of ESTHER.

AHASUERUS

Great Scott! Not only does he want to

kill my wife, he wants to do it in

front of me! GUARDS!! I want him out

of my sight and under the dungeon.

HAMAN

Your majesty, please listen. I had no

idea that Esther was related to

Mordecai. Its all been one big

mistake and I swear to you Ill make it

right!

AHASUERUS

(Furiously)

Shut up!

(to CARCAS)

What should I do with this filth?

CARCAS

(Like a game show an-

nouncer)

Well, your majesty, hes got a brand

new seventy-five-foot gallows in his

back yard!

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Star Queen 2011

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Transcript of Star Queen 2011