Date : 29th March 2014 (Saturday)

Time : 1.25am

Concept : Personal Influences

So half of today went on pretty smooth and I’ve decided to go to the studio

tonight to complete my technical drawing for Design Visualization. After a few

hours doing my work, one of my friend came in. She looked really down and sad

then she started having a conversation with me. It was because lately she felt

that she has been neglected or even avoided by the other friends around. She

started telling me her problems and I was just there listening to her.

She told me about the obstacles and problems she has been facing all

these while and she started tearing up. At that moment, I was kinda clueless of

what I can do to help her out. We all saw her problems and I saw them so clearly

I thought. So I went on giving her advises on how she should work on them and

what she could do to save her friendships with the others.

After a deep long talk with her, she finally told me that she felt better after

pouring everything out. I went back to my room after I got part of my work done.

Actually I was confused, I wasn’t sure if I have done things right. There I had an

introspection of myself, I was wondering if I was in the right position to be her

adviser? The problems she had was, she found it hard to mix with the friends

because they all thought she was way too emotional and sensitive. It made them

feel uncomfortable when her emotions can come and go so fast and the friends

around her find her hard to handle sometimes.

And then I thought about myself, am I playing my part well? As to myself

or to the friends around me. Because I could be very emotional and sensitive like

her too but just that sometimes I tried covering them up so that it wouldn’t affect

the others. So maybe in some ways I might have been the same as her and

made the ones around me felt uncomfortable with my existence. In what position

am I to tell her to do this or not to do that? I’m thinking if I’m good enough to be

her guide in her problems. I also thought that I might show her the wrong ways

and it’d eventually turn out to a bad result.

Slowly, I started having affective forecasting as I started thinking if one

day I was the one in her position, I was the one being hated or disliked by others

because of my attitudes? I wonder if I can handle it so calmly like how I told her

to? Or I would also become super down and cry every night hiding myself in

room? To be honest, I think I’m more to the second situation. I’m going to end up

not talking to anyone and brace myself so that nothing and no one could affect

me. Instead of getting better, I think I’m going to be real emotional for quite a long

time till I finally get over it.

This whole night I spent on having an introspection of myself really makes

me reflects a lot on my own words and actions.