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Social'Media'&'Teens Dr.&SeriaShia&Cha0ers2Smith,&LPC&&

and&

Dr.&Ka;e&Kostohryz,&LPC&(ID)&

Assistant&Professors&of&Counselor&Educa;on&

Penn&State&University&

&

'''1.'What'do'you'hope'to'get'out'of'this'presenta;on?''2.'Write'down'a'situa;on'that'was'concerning'to'you,'your'child,'someone'you'know,'or'something'you'read'about'with'teens'and'social'media.'What'are'your'fears?''3.'What'are'you'already'doing'(conversa;ons,'rules,'ideas)'as'it'relates'to'your'teen'and'social'media?'What'is'your'current'technology'usage?''*ACRONYM'IQ'Quiz''''

Opening&Ques;ons:&

A'Brief'Look'In'The'Teen'Brain

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Decision'MakingT'A'Work'in'Progress'

•  “The&frontal&lobes&of&the&brain&have&been&implicated&in&behavioral&inhibi;on,&the&ability&to&control&emo;ons&and&impulses.&The&frontal&lobes&are&also&thought&to&be&the&place&where&decisions&about&right&and&wrong,&as&well&as&cause2effect&rela;onships&are&processed.&In&contrast,&the&amygdala&is&part&of&the&limbic&system&of&the&brain&and&is&involved&in&ins;nc;ve&“gut”&reac;ons,&including&“fight&or&flight”&responses.&Lower∾vity&in&the&frontal&lobe&could&lead&to&poor&control&over&behavior&and&emo;ons,&while&an&overac;ve&amygdala&may&be&associated&with&high&levels&of&emo;onal&arousal&and&reac;onary&decision2making.”&–&Brain&Connec;on&&

•  Your&daughter&and&her&friends&find&a&cell&phone&accidentally&le[&behind&by&another&student.&The&phone&was&not&locked.&Your&daughter&and&her&friends&go&on&the&student’s&social&media&pages&and&post&a&series&of&status&updates&posing&as&them.&They&post,&“I&just&want&everyone&to&know&that&I&am&a&loser.”&They&use&the&student’s&social&media&account&to&go&on&another&student’s&page&and&profess&their&love&for&this&student.&They&also&go&into&their&photos&and&post&unfla0ering&pictures&of&the&student&on&their&Intsagram&account.&The&school&contacts&you&because&another&student&has&reported&your&daughter&as&the&culprit.&You&ask&your&daughter,&“What&were&you&thinking?”&&

• What&kind&of&cyberbullying&is&this?&&

•  Is&cyberbullying&really&a&problem?&&

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Cyberbullying'Sta;s;cs'T2015

• Over&half&of&adolescents&and&teens&have&been&bullied&online,&and&about&the&same&number&have&engaged&in&cyber&bullying.&

• More&than&1&in&3&young&people&have&experienced&cyberthreats&online.&

• Over&25&percent&of&adolescents&and&teens&have&been&bullied&repeatedly&through&their&cell&phones&or&the&Internet.&

• Well&over&half&of&young&people&do&not&tell&their&parents&when&cyber&bullying&occurs.&–&i2SAFE&Founda;on&Sta;s;cs&&

STATS: 13 to 17 self-reports•  71% received messages online from someone they don’t know. •  45% asked personal information by someone they don’t know. •  30% considered meeting someone they’ve only talked to online •  14% met face-to-face with someone they’ve only spoken to over

the internet (9% of 13-15s; 22% of 16-17s). •  40% usually reply and chat with someone they don’t know, •  18% said they’ll tell an adult. •  20% safe to share personal information on public blog/website. •  37% “not very concerned” about someone using information

they’ve posted online in ways they don’t want. •  33% of (13-17s) parents/guardians know little about what they

do online. •  48% of (16-17s) said the same •  22% parents/guardians never discussed Int. safety with them. •  More teens who’ve talked to parents or guardians ignore

messages from unfamiliar people, refuse to reply or chat, block unknown senders, report these occurrences to trusted adults.

Statistics

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• Prevalence&of&cyberbullying&did&decrease&from&high&school&to&college&from&31%&to&19%&

•  15%&reported&cyberbullying&in&high&school&and&college&–&Significant&associa;on&between&cyberbullying&in&high&school&and&college&&

•  Female&students&were&five&;mes&more&likely&to&report&cyberbullying&than&males.&

•  5%&reported&being&cyberbullies&•  3%&reported&being&vic;ms&AND&cyberbullies&

Benefits of the Internet •  Education (formal/informal)

•  "As an educational...tool users can learn about virtually any topic..."

•  Information (local, global) •  about schools, government, vital health matters, or read a

newspaper •  Reference information

•  airline fares, encyclopedias, movie reviews, news, sports, stock quotes, and

•  Transactions •  banking, making travel reservations, shopping, and trading stocks

•  Communication •  e-mail with family, friends, and colleagues around the world.

•  Relationships •  new friends, dating

•  Entertainment •  watch video, listen to audio, virtually visit a museum, or play an

endless number of computer games.

Defini;on'of'Cyberbullying'–'PA'Law'hZp://www.legis.state.pa.us/cfdocs/legis/LI/consCheck.cfm?txtType=HTM&Zl=18&div=0&chpt=27&sctn=9&subsctn=0'

•  (a.1)&&Cyber&harassment&of&a&child.77&

•  (1)&&A&person&commits&the&crime&of&cyber&harassment&of&a&child&if,&with&intent&to&harass,&annoy&or&alarm,&the&person&engages&in&a&con;nuing&course&of&conduct&of&making&any&of&the&following&by&electronic&means&directly&to&a&child&or&by&publica;on&through&an&electronic&social&media&service:&

•  (i)&&seriously&disparaging&statement&or&opinion&about&the&child's&physical&characteris;cs,&sexuality,&sexual∾vity&or&mental&or&physical&health&or&condi;on;&or&

•  (ii)&&threat&to&inflict&harm.&

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Andrew

•  For the tenth day in a row, Andrew opens an E-mail that says, “I’m getting closer.” He doesn’t recognize the sender’s address. He wonders if someone at school is trying to scare him. On the other hand, it could be a stranger. Whatever the source, Andrew is scared. The next afternoon, Andrew is home alone. The E-mails come every few minutes. “I’m hiding in your house using a wireless Internet connection. You’ll never find me. But I’ll find you.”

•  Frozen with fear, Andrew can’t think what to do.

•  If he asks you for advice, what would you tell him?

http://www.netsmartz.org/safety/statistics.htm

Types'of'Cyberbullying'

•  1.&Exclusion:&deliberate&act&of&leaving&someone&out.&

•  2.&Harassment&is&a&sustained,&constant&and&inten;onal&form&of&bullying&comprising&abusive&or&threatening&messages&sent&to&your&child&or&to&a&group.&

•  3.&Ou;ng&is&a&deliberate&act&to&embarrass&or&publicly&humiliate&your&child&or&a&group&through&the&online&pos;ng&of&sensi;ve,&private&or&embarrassing&informa;on&without&their&consent.&

•  4.&Cyberstalking:&This&form&of&cyberbullying&can&extend&to&the&cyberbully&making&real&threats&to&your&child’s&physical&wellbeing&and/or&safety.&Cyberstalking&can&also&refer&to&the&prac;ce&of&adults&using&the&Internet&to&contact&and&a0empt&to&meet&with&young&people&for&sexual&purposes.&It&is&a&very&dangerous&form&of&cyberbullying&and&can&have&serious&consequences&if&something&isn’t&done&immediately&to&stop&it.&

•  5.&Fraping&•  Fraping&is&when&somebody&logs&into&your&social&networking&account&and&impersonates&your&child&by&pos;ng&inappropriate&content&in&their&name.&

•  6.&Fake&Profiles&•  Fake&profiles&can&be&created&in&order&for&a&person&to&hide&their&real&iden;ty&with&the&inten;on&of&cyberbullying&your&child.&

•  The&cyberbully&might&also&use&someone&else’s&email&or&mobile&phone&to&cyberbully&them.&This&would&make&it&appear&as&if&someone&else&has&sent&the&threats.&The&cyberbully&is&afraid&in&case&their&iden;ty&is&revealed,&therefore&they&choose&to&use&fake&accounts.&This&usually&means&that&the&cyberbully&is&someone&that&your&child&knows&very&well,&because&if&they&didn’t&know&them,&the&perpetrator&wouldn’t&have&to&hide&their&iden;ty.&

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Sondra

•  Sondra is planning a slumber party to celebrate her birthday. Her parents have set a limit of eight girls, so Sondra can’t invite everyone she’d like. Two girls who are left out overhear the plans. Angry, they plan their revenge.

•  The girls make a “We Hate Sondra Jones” Web site. They say that anyone invited to the party should not go. They tell everyone in school the site’s address. The girls invite everyone to add new reasons why they hate Sondra and to spread ugly rumors about her.

•  When Sondra hears about the site, she gets a sick feeling in her stomach. Unable to ignore it, she checks the site often. Each day she finds a new nasty comment or joke about her. She feels hurt and powerless to defend herself. Sondra is too embarrassed to go to school and tells her parents she is sick.

•  If you were Sondra’s parent, what advice would you give her?

http://www.netsmartz.org/safety/statistics.htm

•  7.&Dissing&•  Dissing&is&the&act&of&sending&or&pos;ng&cruel&informa;on&about&your&child&online,&to&damage&their&reputa;on&or&friendships&with&others.&

•  It&can&also&include&pos;ng&material&online&such&as&photos,&screenshots&or&videos.&The&cyberbully&wants&to&put&your&child&down,&so&draws&a0en;on&to&what&they&are&saying&about&them&to&make&other&people&think&they’re&not&cool.&The&cyberbully&is&usually&someone&your&child&knows.&This&can&make&it&really&upsemng.&

•  8.&Trickery&•  Trickery&is&the&act&of&gaining&your&child’s&trust&so&that&they&reveal&secrets&or&embarrassing&informa;on&that&the&cyberbully&then&shares&publicly&online.&

•  9.&Trolling&is&the&deliberate&act&of&provoking&a&response&through&the&use&of&insults&or&bad&language&on&online&forums&and&social&networking&sites.&

•  10.&Capishing&is&when&another&person&steals&your&child’s&online&iden;ty,&usually&photos,&and&re2creates&social&networking&profiles&for&decep;ve&purposes.&

•  A&capish&is&someone&who&wants&to&hide&who&they&are.&They&will&look&at&your&child’s&social&networking&profile&and&take&any&informa;on&they&want&to&create&a&fake&persona.&Some;mes&they&will&only&take&your&child’s&photos&and&use&fake&names&and&informa;on;&at&other&;mes&they&could&take&their&name&and&personal&informa;on.&It&can&be&hard&to&understand&why&a&capish&does&this&but&it&is&important&to&know&that&they&are&poten;ally&damaging&your&child’s&online&reputa;on.&

What'Can'Be'Done'About'Cyberbullying?

•  Awareness&and&educa;on&are&the&keys&to&the&preven;on&of&cyberbullying!&&

• What&about&students&with&disabili;es?&•  (1)&a&student&is&bullied&based&on&a&disability;&&•  (2)&the&bullying&is&sufficiently&serious&to&create&a&hos;le&environment;&&

•  (3)&school&officials&know&or&should&know&about&the&bullying;&&

•  (4)&the&school&does&not&respond&appropriately&•  Convene&IEP&Team&&

•  Students&of&color,&being&cyberbullied&on&the&basis&of&religion,&LGBTQIA,&etc2&Office&of&Civil&Rights&

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Tips'for'parents' •  Tell your child not to respond to rude e-mails, messages, and comments. •  Save the evidence, such as e-mail and text messages, and take

screenshots of comments and images. Note date and time. •  Contact your Internet service provider (ISP) or cell phone provider. Ask the

website administrator or ISP to remove any Web page created to hurt your child.

•  If harassment is via e-mail, social networking sites, IM, and chat rooms, instruct your child to “block” bullies or delete your child’s current account and open a new one.

•  If harassment is via text and phone messages, change the phone number and instruct your child to only share the new number with trustworthy people. Also, use phone features to block bully’s number.

•  Get your child’s school involved. Learn the school’s policy on cyberbullying and urge administrators to take a stance against all forms of bullying.

•  Make a report to www.cybertipline.com, and if you feel something illegal has occurred, inform law enforcement.

&

•  Talks&to&teens&about&cyber&bullying,&explaining&that&it&is&wrong&and&can&have&serious&consequences.&Make&a&rule&that&teens&may&not&send&mean&or&damaging&messages,&even&if&someone&else&started&it,&or&sugges;ve&pictures&or&messages&or&they&will&lose&their&cell&phone&and&computer&privileges&for&a&;me.&

•  Encourage&teens&to&tell&an&adult&if&cyber&bullying&is&occurring.&Tell&them&if&they&are&the&vic;ms&they&will&not&be&punished,&and&reassure&them&that&being&bullied&is&not&their&fault.&

•  Teens&should&keep&cyber&bullying&messages&as&proof&that&the&cyber&bullying&is&occurring.&The&teens’&parents&may&want&to&talk&to&the&parents&of&the&cyber&bully,&to&the&bully’s&Internet&or&cell&phone&provider,&and/or&to&the&police&about&the&messages,&especially&if&they&are&threatening&or&sexual&in&nature.&

•  Try&blocking&the&person&sending&the&messages.&It&may&be&necessary&to&get&a&new&phone&number&or&email&address&and&to&be&more&cau;ous&about&giving&out&the&new&number&or&address.&

•  Teens&should&never&tell&their&password&to&anyone&except&a&parent,&and&should&not&write&it&down&in&a&place&where&it&could&be&found&by&others&

•  Teens&should&not&share&anything&through&text&or&instant&messaging&on&their&cell&phone&or&the&Internet&that&they&would&not&want&to&be&made&public&–&remind&teens&that&the&person&they&are&talking&to&in&messages&or&online&may&not&be&who&they&think&they&are,&and&that&things&posted&electronically&may&not&be&secure.&

•  Encourage&teens&never&to&share&personal&informa;on&online&or&to&meet&someone&they&only&know&online.&

• Keep&the&computer&in&a&shared&space&like&the&family&room,&and&do&not&allow&teens&to&have&Internet&access&in&their&own&rooms.&

•  Encourage&teens&to&have&;mes&when&they&turn&off&the&technology,&such&as&at&family&meals&or&a[er&a&certain&;me&at&night.&

• Parents&may&want&to&wait&un;l&high&school&to&allow&their&teens&to&have&their&own&email&and&cell&phone&accounts,&and&even&then&parents&should&s;ll&have&access&to&the&accounts.&

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•  Integrate curriculum-based anti-bullying

programs into classrooms. • Educate teachers, students and parents about

the seriousness of cyberbullying. • Change the school or board's bullying policy to

include harassment perpetrated with mobile and Internet technology.

• Update the school or board's computer Acceptable Use Policy (AUP) to specifically prohibit using the Internet for bullying.

What schools can do

Disinhibi;on'Effect 1.  You&don’t&know&me&

2.  You&can’t&see&me&

3.  See&you&later&4.  It’s&all&in&my&head&

5.  Just&a&game&

&

Why&do&we&do&things&online&that&we&wouldn’t&ordinarily&say&or&do&in&the&real&world?&

&

Case'Example'for'teen'

•  Josh&clicked&open&his&Instagram&app&and&saw&the&latest&version&of&his&grade’s&new&favorite&game.&Someone&would&post&pictures&of&four&different&girls&on&Instagram&and&others&would&vote&for&the&most&a0rac;ve&by&“liking”&her&picture.&The&girl&whose&picture&received&the&fewest&number&of&likes&would&be&eliminated&and&pictures&of&the&other&three&girls&were&reposted&for&another&round&of&vo;ng.&The&sharing&and&vo;ng&process&would&con;nue&un;l&there&was&a&winner.&Josh&said&that&one&of&the&‘worst’&parts&of&the&game&was&that&the&girls&who&lost&might&actually&ini;ate&another&round&of&the&game&with&a&fresh&set&of&girls,&in&the&hopes&of&winning&a&separate&version.&S;ll,&he&didn’t&want&to&get&involved.&He&knew&that&games&like&“Hot&or&Not”&were&popular&in&other&schools,&so&he&figured&this&was&just&his&grade’s&version.&&

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Case'Example'Ques;ons:

&

• What&is&your&gut&reac;on&to&this&story?&How&do&the&people&whom&you&follow&use&Instagram?&&

•  Have&you&ever&heard&of&anything&like&this&happening&on&social&media?&&

•  Do&you&think&there&is&a&difference&between&the&kinds&of&pictures&girls&share&of&themselves&and&the&kinds&of&pictures&boys&share?&&

• What&would&you&have&done&if&you&were&in&this&situa;on?&

•  Sex;ng&Handbook&for&Teen:&h0ps://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/uploads/connec;ng_families/sex;ng_handbook_ce_0816.pdf&

IG'terms'of'use,'decoded: “Don’t&bully&anyone&or&post&anything&horrible&about&people.”&

“Officially&you&own&any&original&pictures&and&videos&you&post,&but&we&are&allowed&to&use&them,&and&we&can&let&others&use&them&as&well,&anywhere&around&the&world.&Other&people&might&pay&us&to&use&them&and&we&will&not&pay&you&for&that.”&

“Although&you&are&responsible&for&the&informa;on&you&put&on&Instagram,&we&may&keep,&use&and&share&your&personal&informa;on&with&companies&connected&with&Instagram.&This&informa;on&includes&your&name,&email&address,&school,&where&you&live,&pictures,&phone&number,&your&likes&and&dislikes,&where&you&go,&who&your&friends&are,&how&o[en&you&use&Instagram,&and&any&other&personal&informa;on&we&find&such&as&your&birthday&or&who&you&are&chamng&with,&including&in&private&messages&(DMs).”&

h"ps://www.washingtonpost.com/news/paren3ng/wp/2017/01/08/a9lawyer9rewrote9instagrams9terms9of9use9in9plain9english9so9kids9would9know9their9privacy9rights/?3d=sm_D&utm_term=.373dac4c1162&&

&

&

Grief'and'Loss

•  Loss:&the&real&or&perceived&depriva;on&of&something&deemed&meaningful&&

• Grief&is&an&intricate&interpersonal&and&intrapersonal&response&to&loss.&Can&be&emo;onal,&physical,&cogni;ve,&behavioral,&social,&cultural,&spiritual,&historical..&

&*Humphrey,&K.&M.&(2009).&CounselingJstrategiesJforJlossJandJgrief.&Alexandria,&VA:&American&Counseling&Associa;on.&

&

What&type&of&losses&do&you&think&you&teen&faces&right&now?&

&

&

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Types'of'Losses….to'name'a'few...

• Rela;onship&breakups&• Family&divorce&&

•  Illness/addic;on/abuse&&• Disability/Diagnosis&&•  Loss&of&freedom/independence/safety/security/hopes&and&dreams&

• Transi;ons/role&changes/sense&of&self/development&&

• Cultural&loss/loss&of&faith&• Others?&• How&does&social&media&help/hinder&teens&who&are&grieving&&these&loses?&

Trends'in'Grief'&'Loss' &

•  Recogni;on&of&grief&in&everyday&loss&&•  Recogni;on&of&the&uniqueness&of&the&griever&•  Recognize&that&loss&and&grief&occur&in&mul;ple&and&fluid&contexts&of&personal,&family,&social,&cultural&and&historical&contexts&

•  Variety&of&healthy&responses&to&grief&•  Assump;on&of&“grief&work”&challenged,&nonlinear&models&over&linear&models&

•  Recognize&that&grief&does&not&end,&but&it&does&change&•  Con;nuing&bonds&

•  (Humphrey,&2009)&

#RIP&

• How&does&social&media&help/hinder&teens&who&are&grieving&?&&

• How&did&we&grieve&before&social&media?&&

• What&messages&do&teens&receive&about&grief?&&• TV&shows,&Ads,&Ar;cles,&Newsfeeds:&&

• Current&and&real&;me&events&witnessed&online&• #orlando&#&PrayforParis&#TerenceCrutcher&

• Secondary&trauma&• Triggers&

• Social&media&Apps,&Timehop&&&rela;onships&triggers&

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Social'Media'and'Grief

•  Connect&to&others,&family,&friends&or&strangers&who&are&also&grieving&online&&

• Maintain&a&rela;onship&with&the&deceased&•  Grieving&on&Social&Media,&young&boy&sets&up&memorial&page&to&keep&the&memory&of&his&friend&alive&h0ps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXCHiumnWno&

•  E;que0e&•  Feels&strange&and&almost&inappropriate&for&some,&natural&for&others.&&

•  People&and&their&grief&are&unique&•  What&to&say&vs&not&to&say;&What&to&post&vs&what&not&to&

•  Trolling&&&•  What&it&means&to&make&room&for&your&own&grief&while&being&sensi;ve&to&those&closest&to&a&loss&&

•  Hierarchy&of&grief&

Social'Media'and'Grief' &

•  Media&can&help&people&make&sense&of&loss&and&&grieve&

•  Apps&to&adapt&•  Mindfulness,&Insight&Timer:&h0ps://insighmmer.com&&

•  Inspira;onal&quotes,&funny&videos,&helpful&ar;cles&&•  Coloring&your&way&through&grief:&h0p://well.blogs.ny;mes.com/2016/05/16/coloring2your2way2through2grief/?_r=0&

•  Digital&storytelling:&•  Video&diary&of&pet&loss:&h0ps://vimeo.com/122375452&

•  Rela;onship&loss:&h0p://storycorps.org/anima;on/danny2and2annie/&

•  Disconnect&from&social&media,&limit&use&•  h0p://;me.com/4096988/teen2instagram2star2essena2oneill2quimng2social2media/&

•  Others?&

•  h0p://blog.flickr.net/en/2015/02/20/a2painful2past2fuels2photographers2passion/&

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•  I&Recreate&My&Late&Father’s&Photos&To&Reconnect&And&Accept&His&Passing&

•  h0p://www.boredpanda.com/daughter2traveled2and2re2create2late2fathers2photos/&

More'Tips'and'Take'Aways &

•  Ground&rules&•  Family&contracts&&

•  Change,&modify,&edit&rules&at&any&;me&

•  Educate&yourself&•  Family&Online&Safety&Ins;tute:&hNps://www.fosi.org&•  Our&Family&Toolbox/Common&Sense&Media:&hNps://www.commonsensemedia.org/educators/connec;ng7families/share&

•  Privacy&Semngs&•  Google&Safety&Center:&h0ps://www.google.com/safetycenter/families/start/&&

•  FB&privacy&page&:&h0ps://www.facebook.com/policy.php&

•  Filtering&So[ware&&•  Net&Nanny:&h0ps://www.netnanny.com&&

•  AT&&T&Family&Map,&Verizon&Family&Locator,&Sprint&Family&Locator&&

Tips'and'Take'Aways

•  Teachable&Moments&

•  How&and&when&to&talk&to&your&teen&• Model&It&

• Disconnect&from&technology&&

• Connect&with&other&parents&•  Take&Ac;on&

•  Talk&to&your&school,&others,&use&choices&and&rights&you&have&as&a&parent&• Other&ideas?&&

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Key Resources

•  h0p://www.netsmartz.org/internetsafety&

•  h0p://www.netsmartz.org/TipSheets&

•  h0p://www.netsmartz.org/cyberbullying&

•  h0p://www.wiredsafety.org &&

•  h0p://stopcyberbullying.org/index2.html&&

•  h0p://www.bullying.org&•  h0p://www.cyberbullying.org&&•  h0p://www.bewebaware.ca&•  h0p://www.media2awareness.ca&

•  h0p://www.cyberbullying.us/aboutus.php&&

h0p://www.netsmartz.org/Cyberbullying&&

&

Dear&Colleague&Le0er&on&Transgender&Students&

•  h0ps://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/le0ers/colleague22016052;tle2ix2transgender.pdf&

&

Dear&Colleague&Le0er&on&Bullying&Students&with&Disabili;es&and&Sec;on&504&

•  &h0ps://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/le0ers/colleague2bullying2201410.pdf&

&

Dear&Colleague&Le0er&on&Sexual&Violence:&h0ps://www.whitehouse.gov/sites/default/files/dear_colleague_sexual_violence.pdf&

Can&parents&be&held&responsible&for&their&child’s&behavior?&

&&h0p://cyberbullying.org/holding2parents2responsible2for2their2childs2bullying&

h0ps://www.legalzoom.com/ar;cles/are2parents2legally2responsible2if2their2kid2is2a2bully&

&

PA&Parent&Responsibility&Law&

•  h0p://www.nolo.com/legal2encyclopedia/pennsylvania2parental2responsibility2laws.html&