Tau Delta Phi Fraternity Membership Resources

The twenty-first fraternity man is

expected to be comfortable in all

types of business settings, includ-

ing ones where they work with

and for women. Refer to these

tips on how you can create an eq-

uitable, gender-neutral environ-

ment.

Shake hands with everyone --

men and women -- the same way.

The one hand, straight up-and-

down handshake is the most ef-

fective and professional.

Use your full name when intro-

ducing yourself. Don't be "James

in accounting." Full names give

you more credibility and identity

as a professional.

It is proper and legal to address

women as "Ms." in a spoken or

written communication. The

woman may then advise you to

say "Mrs." or "Miss" if she pre-

fers it.

Introduce people in business set-

tings based on rank, not gender.

Avoid touching people, beyond

the one-hand professional hand-

shake.

People open doors for people, not

necessarily men opening doors for

women. If someone opens a door

for you, however, you should not

protest this act of politeness.

The host of a business lunch, the

one who did the inviting, pays for

lunch regardless of gender.

Avoid saying "Hon," "Dear,"

"Son," "Doll," and "Babe," to

people in the work environment

and over the telephone.

Adapted from Marjorie Brody

and Brody Communications Ltd,

2003 .

During your time as an chapter

officer, you will be introduced to

many campus administrators and

community leaders. It is

important to know some basic

etiquette when working with these

people; a positive impression, as

well as follow-up impressions,

could help your organization

tremendously.

First Impressions

Make a truly first impression:

Establish appropriate eye contact,

avoid colloquialisms and slang,

and have the right “support

materials” at hand. Have business

cards with your local chapter

information printed and in your

wallet or book bag.

Handshakes & Introductions

Know who should be introduced

first. Typically, you introduce

people to the highest ranking

leader; men are introduced to

women. Avoid offering a limp

handshake; make sure your grip is

confident and appropriate to the

situation. Manage unconventional

handshake situations by following

the other person’s lead.

Remember: You can use social

missteps as an opportunity to

display grace, wit, and poise.

Names Matter

Never ask, “Who are you?” Find

creative ways to determine the

names of people to whom you’ve

been introduced. Don’t use the

person’s first name unless you’re

invited to do so.

For Written Communications

When sending out written

correspondence on behalf of the

chapter, use both your spell-check

and human set of eyes to ensure

any documents you send out for

your organization is free of

spelling mistakes. Check it

carefully for grammar problems

too.

Make promises you can keep

when it comes to sending faxes, e

-mail transition, etc.

For Telephone Communications

When you reach someone directly

on the phone, explain why you

are calling. Leave enough

information in your phone

messages.

Make a point of approaching

people you don’t know; take the

time and make the effort to

become acquainted with them.

Adapted from Business Etiquette:

101 ways to conduct business

with charm and savvy, by Ann

Marie Sabath

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Page Three

Many of our fraternity rituals and

meetings require our members to

wear a shirt and tie. It is impor-

tant that all our members know

how to tie a tie, to prepare them-

selves for lives in the business

world and role model Starting

with these instructions, a sharp-

looking tie, a mirror and some

patience, you can become an ex-

pert in tying a fabulous tie. Be-

cause there are several different

ways to tie a tie, the tips below

are for the four-in-hand; other

styles can be learned by doing a

websearch for ‘How to Tie a Tie.’

Stand in front of the mirror. Your

collar should be up, your shirt

buttoned all the way to the top,

and the tie around your neck. The

wide end of the tie should be on

the side of your dominant hand.

So if you're right-handed, the

wider end should be hanging on

your right side. If you're left-

handed, the wider end should be

hanging on your left side.

Look for a seam on the front of

the narrow end of the tie.

Move the wide end over the nar-

row end so they cross each other

on the seam.

Pull the wide end behind the nar-

row end.

Bring the wide end around. It

should be facing off to your left.

Bring the wide end under the nar-

row end again.

Pull the wide end of the tie under

the loop around your neck.

Pull the wide end down through

the knot at the front of the tie.

Tighten the knot by sliding it up

the narrow end. Make sure your

tie is straight and the length is ap-

propriate.

The four-in-hand knot is a little

asymmetrical at the neck. Don't

worry about this; it is normal.

Many men with shorter necks pre-

fer the four-in-hand, because the

knot at top is very narrow and has

a slimming effect on the rest of

the neck.

Adapted from WikiHow “How to

Tie a Tie” www.wikihow.com/Tie-

a-Tie

Feeling some nervousness before

giving a speech is natural and

healthy. It shows you care about

doing well. But, too much nerv-

ousness can be detrimental. Life

in a fraternity will require its

members to speak publicly before

other fraternity members and in

front of other student leaders.

Take advantage of every opportu-

nity to practice your skills. Here's

how you can control your nerv-

ousness and make effective,

memorable presentations:

Know the room. Be familiar with

the place in which you will speak.

Arrive early, walk around the

speaking area and practice using

the microphone and any visual

aids.

Know the audience. Greet some

of the audience as they arrive. It's

easier to speak to a group of

friends than to a group of strang-

ers.

Know your material. If you're

not familiar with your material or

are uncomfortable with it, your

nervousness will increase. Prac-

tice your speech and revise it if

necessary.

Relax. Ease tension by doing ex-

ercises. Close your eyes and take

several deep breaths.

Visualize your-

self giving your

speech. Imagine

yourself speak-

ing, your voice

loud, clear, and

assured. When

you visualize

yourself as suc-

cessful, you will

be successful.

Realize that people want you to

succeed. Audiences want you to

be interesting, stimulating, infor-

mative, and entertaining. They

don't want you to fail.

Don't apologize. If you mention

your nervousness or apologize for

any problems you think you have

with your speech, you may be

calling the audience's attention to

something they hadn't noticed.

Keep silent.

Concentrate on the message --

not the medium. Focus your at-

tention away from your own

anxieties, and

outwardly toward

your message and

your audience.

Your nervousness

will dissipate.

Turn nervous-

ness into positive

energy. Harness

your nervous en-

ergy and transform it into vitality

and enthusiasm.

Gain experience. Experience

builds confidence, which is the

key to effective speaking.

As you continue to practice your

skills, you can become a success-

ful public speaker.

Answer TRUE or FALSE to the following questions – answers are on Page Six.

1. True False Casual dress on Fridays means that my attitude and language can be casual too.

2. True False Business casual means a man's shirt should have a collar.

3. True False If a man does not have time to shave in the morning before work he should keep an electric

razor in his desk drawer.

4. True False It's perfectly okay to ask a well dressed professional where they got their clothes and how

much they paid.

5. True False I can smoke in my own office even if the building is non-smoking.

6. True False If a co-worker is dressing inappropriately at work, I have a responsibility to tell them.

7. True False If I have to attend a formal function in the evening, it is perfectly acceptable to wear my for-

mal clothes during the day.

8. True False It cannot be construed as sexual harassment if I comment on co-workers appearance

whether man or woman.

9. True False Everyone should know that good grooming is an intrinsic part of any workplace dress code.

10. True False Chewing gum is a good habit to get into if you want to keep fresh breath.

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Page Five

Regardless of our skills or educa-

tion, our impact among others is

lost when we are lack the social

skills to know how to act around

others. Fraternity life allows our

men to learn how to exhibit the

skills that show that we care about

ourselves and each other, and

make positive impact in the lives

of our fraternity brothers and

those in our communities.

Courtesy and Respect Socially correct behavior is all

about observing The Golden Rule

you learned in childhood -- treat-

ing others the way you want to be

treated. This means acknowledg-

ing their presence with a pleasant

greeting, always remembering to

say "please" and "thank you," re-

specting their privacy, opinions

and possessions, and being a

thoughtful and considerate guest,

whether it is for a dinner or a

weekend stay. Opening doors,

giving up your seat on public

transportation or simply lending a

helpful hand to someone in need

without anyone asking are all

demonstrations of proper man-

ners. To this etiquette list is added

the necessity of giving others

your undivided attention by not

texting, taking or making cell

phone calls, or reading a book

while they're trying to interact

with you.

Conversations

Just because you have many

things to say doesn't mean you're

entitled to dominate every conver-

sation, constantly interrupt others

when they're talking, or engage in

loud, abrasive arguments if some-

one disagrees with you. If you are

a socially refined person, you un-

derstand why you have one mouth

and two ears and use them ac-

cordingly to encourage others,

keep an open mind, eschew gos-

sip and practice discretion. The

authors of "Social Graces: Man-

ners, Conversation, and Charm

for Today" advise that you not

only avoid controversial topics

when meeting others for the first

time but that you steer clear as

well of personal questions that

might make them uncomfortable.

If you inadvertently offend some-

one or make a mistake, the so-

cially responsible thing to do is

apologize as soon as possible.

Gratitude

Everyone likes to know they are

appreciated for kindnesses they

have performed, writes Peggy

Post, author of "Emily Post's Eti-

quette." Whether it's a card, a pre-

sent or a favor, there's no excuse

for not taking the time to express

what it meant to you. In an earlier

era, this was by way of a hand-

written note. The advent of tech-

nology, however, has reduced this

simple courtesy to emails, voice

mails, text messages or, sadly, no

"thank you" at all. No matter how

busy you are, keep in mind it will

probably take you less time to

compose a thoughtful response

than it took your recipient to do

the kind deed initially. Another

important tradition that has fallen

by the wayside is the gracious ac-

knowledgment of social invita-

tions. Never leave your host hang-

ing by failing to RSVP or, worse,

bringing along uninvited guests.

Table Manners

If you dine with other people, fo-

cus on making it a pleasant ex-

perience for everyone at the table.

They may not act persnickety if

you accidentally use the wrong

fork. However, they will notice if

you talk with your mouth full,

chew with your mouth open, park

your elbows on the table, take

more food than everyone else,

burp, belch and slurp, or do a

farmhouse reach across the table

for something rather than asking

someone to please pass it to you.

Refer to the Dining Etiquette

Guide for more detailed informa-

tion.

Public Behavior

How you behave in the privacy of

your home is often different from

how you act once you step outside

your front door. Social graces dic-

tate your being mindful of how

others perceive both you and your

actions. Talking or yelling loudly,

engaging in inappropriate dis-

plays of affection, spitting on

sidewalks, littering, playing loud

music, swearing or cutting ahead

of others in lines are all discourte-

ous behaviors. If you travel

abroad, you must also follow the

codes of conduct observed by

other cultures. Consider your

physical appearance as well.

Dressing inappropriately and/or

smelling badly are not the trade-

marks of a well-bred person. No

matter your age, education or so-

cial status, modesty and cleanli-

ness are always in fashion.

Adapted from Social Manners &

Etiquette, 2013 Christina Hamlett

1. Casual dress on Fridays means that my attitude and language can be casual too.

ANSWER: False. Your attitude and speech style should be polished and professional at all times. Casual

attire means only your clothing is casual.

2. Business casual means a man's shirt should have a collar.

ANSWER: True. Business casual means men should wear collars. T-shirts and V-neck's are not really

acceptable.

3. If a man does not have time to shave in the morning before work he should keep an electric razor in his

desk drawer.

ANSWER: False. Your office desk is not your bathroom vanity. At no time should clients or co-workers

be witness to your personal grooming habits.

4. It's perfectly okay to ask a well dressed professional where they got their clothes and how much they paid.

ANSWER: False. Your office desk is not your bathroom vanity. At no time should clients or co-workers

be witness to your personal grooming habits. This applies to women too.

5. I can smoke in my own office even if the building is non-smoking.

ANSWER: False. Smoking is unacceptable when you are with clients and if the office has a no smoking

policy you should honor it.

6. If a co-worker is dressing inappropriately at work, I have a responsibility to tell them.

ANSWER: False. Unless you are the person's supervisor, keep your opinions to yourself.

7. If I have to attend a formal function in the evening, it is perfectly acceptable to wear my formal clothes

during the day.

ANSWER: False. It is unacceptable to wear formal clothes to the office unless the entire office is doing so

for some specific reason. Bring the clothes with you or rearrange your schedule to make time to prepare for

the function.

8. It cannot be construed as sexual harassment if I comment on co-workers appearance whether man or

woman.

ANSWER: False. Check your company policy on harassment. In business situations commenting on the

appearance or dress of the opposite sex is not an appropriate thing to do.

9. Everyone should know that good grooming is an intrinsic part of any workplace dress code.

ANSWER: True. Common sense dictates that you should go to work clean, neat and professionally

dressed even if there is not a formal dress policy.

10. Chewing gum is a good habit to get into if you want to keep fresh breath.

ANSWER: False. Chewing gum is a very rude and unsightly habit. Quickly and quietly take a mint in-

stead.

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