Social Connections

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Relationships are at the heart of human experienceFamilyCommunityClassmates, teammates, colleaguesAcquaintances, friends, sexual partners

Relationships are fraught with difficultiesDivorceSingle-parent and blended familiesLiving alone“Hooking up”

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Relationships begin with who you are as an individual and what you bring to the relationship

Examples of important attributes are:A reasonably high self-esteemA capacity for empathyThe ability both to be alone and to be with others

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Friendship is a reciprocal relationship based on mutual liking and caring, respect and trust, interest and companionshipConsidered longer-lasting and more stable compared

to romantic relationshipsOffers a psychological and emotional buffer against

stress, anxiety, and depressionNetworks that provide social support also increase

one’s sense of self-worth

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Independence and maturitySelf-esteem and mutual respectGood communicationOpen expression of sexual affection and respect

Enjoy spending time together in leisure activities

Acknowledge strengths and failingsAssertive and flexible in wants and needsHandle conflict constructively Friends as well as lovers; unselfish caringGood family and friend relationshipsShared spiritual values

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People seem to use a systematic screening process when deciding if someone could be a potential partner

Factors that promote attraction are:Proximity or familiarityPhysical attractivenessSimilar characteristics, including values and attitudes

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Indirectness is not an effective strategyPeople who are straightforward and respectful in

developing a relationship are more likely to get a positive response

Partners are often found through social connectionsThe Internet is playing a larger role

Geography a less significant factorOnline social networkingImportance of caution: How much do you really know

about the person?

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Take things slowly; reveal information about yourself gradually. Do not feel the need to become physically involved right away;

become friends first. Get to know the person’s

friends and family members if you can.

Keep in mind that traits you dislike in the beginning will probably bother you more as time goes by.

Be honest about who you are.

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Sternberg’s triangular theory of love.

Nonverbal communication includes facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, body position and movement, and spatial behavior

Nonverbal and verbal communication cues make up the metamessage, or the unspoken message you send or get when communicating

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Communication

When you speak, know your feelings, motives, and intentions

Use “I” statements“I feel…when you…” vs. “You make me feel…”

As a listener, give the other person time and spaceGood communication skills help make conflict

constructiveAssertiveness: speaking up for yourself without

violating someone else’s rights

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Cohesion: the dynamic balance between separateness and togetherness in both couple and family relationships

Relationships are strongest when there is a balance between intimacy and autonomy

Flexibility: the dynamic balance between stability and change

Communication is the tool that partners and families use to adjust levels of cohesion or flexibility when change is needed

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Community: group of people connected in a way that transcends casual attachmentTypically, shared common goals and sense of

belongingBeing active in a community is likely to have a

positive impact on healthPositive relationships within a community are

essential to personal health and growthImprove self-esteemImprove social capital: sharing and exchanging of

resources

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Fulfilling community participation requires an understanding of your values, what gives your life meaning, and what you want to accomplish

Value system: set of guidelines for how you want to live your lifeValues underlie moral principles and behavior

Meaning in life comes from using one’s strengths to serve a larger end

When you identify and pursue personal goals, you take responsibility for yourself and your life

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Religious and spiritual communitiesSpirituality: experience of connection to self,

others, and larger community, providing sense of purpose and meaning

Spiritually connected people stay healthier and live longer

Spiritual connectedness is associated with high levels of health-related quality of life

Social activism and the global communitySocial causes can unite people from diverse

backgrounds for a common goodPeace Corps; Habitat for Humanity;

Greenpeace; Earth Charter Initiative; others?

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VolunteeringPeople who give time, money, support to others are likely to

be more satisfied with their livesOne-on-one contact and direct involvement are key to

positive effectsService learning

Meant to teach how to take the risk of getting involved in the lives of others

The artsEmbracing diverse cultures past and present; expressing

inner thoughts and feelingsInternet communities

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