Small Adaptation: Big Impact! Becoming an Adult Role ... · Impact! Becoming an Adult Role-Model...
Transcript of Small Adaptation: Big Impact! Becoming an Adult Role ... · Impact! Becoming an Adult Role-Model...
Small Adaptation: Big Impact! Becoming an Adult Role-Model for Social and Emotional Learning
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 1
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 2
Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Emotional Intelligence© 1999-2017 The Institute for Health and Human Potential
THE FOUNDATION IS SELF-AWARENESS
1. Self-Assessment (strengths and limitations)
2. Emotional Self-Awareness (identifying own emotions, values)
3. Self-Regard (confidence)
4. Optimism (growth mindset)
IHHP EI Model & SEL
Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Emotional Intelligence© 1999-2017 The Institute for Health and Human Potential
THEN EMOTIONAL MANAGEMENT (SELF-MANAGEMENT)
1. Impulse Control
2. Stress management
3. Self-discipline
4. Self-motivation
5. Goal Setting
IHHP EI Model & SEL
https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/burnout-and-the-brainSmall Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 5
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 6
Can Lead To Loss of Energy
Stress Exists without Burnout, But Burnout
Doesn’t Exist Without Stress
Can Lead to Loss of Motivation
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 7
The emotional residue or strain of
exposure to working with those suffering
from the consequences of traumatic
events. Compassion fatigue can co-exist
with burnout.
Compassion Fatigue is Separate from Burnout
Cumulative process marked by emotional
exhaustion and withdrawal associated with
increased workload and institutional stress,
NOT trauma-related.
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 8
http://developingchild.harvard.edu/topics/science_of_early_childhood/toxic_stress_response/ 7
Positive: Brief increase in heart rate,
mild elevation in stress hormone levels
Tolerable: Serious, temporary stress
responses, buffered by supportive relationships
Toxic: Prolonged activation of stress response
systems in the absence of protective relationships
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 9
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 10
This inability to get away from continuous
periods of stress is what causes the
greatest damage to health.
“Research shows that almost every
system in the body can be influenced by
chronic stress.
When chronic stress goes unreleased, it
suppresses the body’s immune system
and ultimately manifests as illness.”
Kerry Robinson, Ph.D. & Charol Shakeshaft, Ph.D. Superintendent Stress and Superintendent Health: A National Study, 2016.
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 11
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 12
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 13
Stress-Promoting Traps: Do You See Yourself in any of These?
• Indispensability/ Super Hero Syndrome: The belief that your presence is needed for things to run “right” and taking on excessive responsibility (saying yes all the time)
• Success Addiction: The strong desire to work harder, faster, longer than others. Long hours and completing difficult assignments defines your “success”
• Perfectionism/Type A Personality: Excessive drive for perfection, tend to be impatient, feel a constant sense of urgency
• Reinventing the Wheel Addiction- Constant updates and creation of materials, excessive pride in “making all of your own” materials even when it isn’t necessary
• Hyper-Empathy Syndrome: Worrying excessively about the emotional pain of others, taking on other’s problems as your own
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 14
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 15
Today is about identifying your own priorities and committing to even
one small change
16Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 17
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 18
On average, educators have 250 verbal exchanges with
students per hour
Borko, Livingston and Shavelson, 1990
In addition, educators
make approximately
3,ooo non-trivial decision in a school day
Danielson, 1996
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 21
#1
Super’s Life Rainbow
Life Role Time and Energy Related To:
Child Your parents
Student Learning, career training, personal growth
Leisurite Leisure activities: hobbies, relaxation, recreation, rituals, exercise, spiritual, personal growth, time with family and friends
Citizen Unpaid volunteerism, community/faith activities, contribution beyond one’s self
Worker Paid employment
Parent Raising and caring for your children
Spouse Nurturing a committed relationship, romance
Homemaker Maintaining home life: cooking, cleaning, repairing, shopping, etc.
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne
David E. Super’s: Life Career Rainbow
22
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne
The Life Career Rainbow was devised by psychologist Donald E. Super.
23
24Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne
Parent, 2 Spouse, 5
Homemaker, 26
Child, 25Student, 5
Leisurite, 5
Citizen, 3
Worker, 35
Parent, 2
Spouse, 25
Homemaker, 10
Child, 15Student, 10
Leisurite, 13
Citizen, 5
Worker, 20
25
My RealityMy Goal
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 26
My Reality My Goal
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 27
What Triggers You Negatively?(Makes you mad, sad, anxious or feel unsafe)
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne
Trigger Type Person, Place, Thing Associated emotion and or sensation
Opposing Beliefs Work Ethic- when people don’t put enough effort into their job or “waste my time”
Disgust, disapproval- face gets warm, I become judgmental
Trauma
Ego Protection When I get the sense that I am not good enough
Sadness, self-deprecation-I feel numb, I either give up or go overboard to prove myself
Phobia Sea gulls aka Rats w/wings Fear, dread- heart beat increases, legs tingle- I want them eliminated from the earth
Emotional/Social
Other Hunger/dehydration Short-tempered or scatterbrained- Hard to focus, weak, hyper-focused on my body instead of environment: give in more easily, make poor choices28
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 29
30
All problems melt away when women get spa
days and massages
31
The media,
especially
advertisers,
promotes a gender-
biased stigma:
“Women are fragile
and need to care for
themselves.”
“Men however don’t
need any of that
self-compassion
B.S.”
32
Additional societal norms
promote the ideal that men
are the reason women
don’t have work/life
balance and are the
reason women need spa
days.
33
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 34
Self-regulation & Self-care require the discipline to do the hard and boring things that are good for us
Self-care requires tough-mindedness, a deep and personal understanding of your priorities, and a respect for both yourself and the people you choose to spend your life with
Neither of these definitions are going to increase the sales of wine, bubble bath, or massage gift certificates
Strategies for Mitigating Triggers & Emotional Hijack
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 35
Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth in uglier ways.” –Sigmund Freud
*Triggers exist for a reason, sometimes the heightened response is warranted. If your triggers are intimately tied to trauma and abuse or if you may have PTSD, these strategies may be seem temporarily helpful, but they should not replace professional diagnosis and assistance.
36
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 37
Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Emotional Intelligence© 1999-2017 The Institute for Health and Human Potential
One Trigger Management Strategy
S
O
S
S
top
xygenate
trengthen Appreciation
eek Information
Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Emotional Intelligence© 1999-2017 The Institute for Health and Human Potential
S.O.S.S. – Stop
Bring awareness to automatic response by engaging the
neocortex. (Don’t let your thinking brain get taken over
by the emotional brain)
Disengage from the trigger by pattern-interrupting the
hijack response indicators. (As soon as you feel a hijack
symptom (like increased heartbeat, physically or
emotionally remove yourself or prepare a response to
stop the trigger)
Not always easy to just “leave” a situation or remove
someone from your life
Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Emotional Intelligence© 1999-2017 The Institute for Health and Human Potential
STOP Strategy Examples
Face-to-Face Meetings/Situations:
■Have a drink of water or eat something
■Relax your shoulders.
■Uncross your legs and place
your feet flat on the ground.
■Open the palms of your hands and rest them on
your legs.
■Lean back (disengage from fight) or lean forward
(re-engage from flight).
■Write something down (perhaps what you would
like to say to the person)
■Say your own name (in your head) and tell
yourself to “Stop.”
■Practice Pausing (Don’t make rash decisions).
When Alone:
■ Stand up.
■ Save versus Send.
■ Count backwards from 100 by 3’s (by 7’s if
you are really triggered).
■ Walk away, clear your mind, then come
back to it.
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne
Say no
Set Limits
41
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne
Say Yes
Expand Limits
42
Power of Pausing:
Strategies (Suspend Your
Immediate Judgment)
• Take a deep, audible breath (especially on the outbreath)
• Use a short verbal cue to indicate you are thinking, such as “hmm…”
• Use a visual cure, such as looking up and to the side or furrowing your brow
• “I’m not sure. I’d like to think about that.”
• “Let me think for a moment.”
• “Can we pause for a moment? I’d like to gather my thoughts.”
• “This sounds important. I’d like to give it some time and thought. Can I get back to you?”
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 44
S.O.S.S. -Oxygenate
Physical, Emotional, and
SpiritualSelf-care
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne
45
Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Emotional Intelligence© 1999-2017 The Institute for Health and Human Potential
Consciously slow and deepen your breath.
Get oxygen back to the brain.
3-2-4 breathing strategy.
Use a breathing app.
https://www.verywellmind.com/best-mental-health-apps-4588479
Create Play Lists.
S.O.S.S. - Oxygenate
Exercise & Movement
1. Controls Weight2. Combats Health
Conditions and Disease3. Improves Mood4. Boosts Energy5. Sexual Performance and
anxiety benefits6. Promotes Better Sleep
48
• "The psoas is intimately involved in basic physical and emotional reactions, and a chronically tightened psoas signals your body that you’re in danger, eventually exhausting the adrenal glands and depleting the immune system.”
• https://www.drnorthrup.com/psoas-muscle-vital-muscle-body/
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 49
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 50
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 51
Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Emotional Intelligence© 1999-2017 The Institute for Health and Human Potential
S.O.S.S. – Strengthen Appreciation
• The Brain struggles to experience anger/fear and
appreciation at the same time.
• Gratitude unshackles us from toxic emotions
• It is impactful even when it is private or only part of our
inner voice and it…
• causes molecular structure changes in the brain to help
fend off our negativity bias—it activates our rewards
center.
Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Emotional Intelligence© 1999-2017 The Institute for Health and Human Potential
You must consciously rest your mind on positive experiences for those experiences to shape your brain
SMALL ADAPTATION 2020 ROSEANN BAYNE
• Gratitude unshackles us from toxic emotions
• Gratitude is impactful even when it is private or only part of our inner voice
• Gratitude causes molecular structure changes in the brain to help fend off our negativity bias—it activates our rewards center.
Appreciate Things
that didn’t happen today
• No one in my family is sick today
• I’m using a lot less gas these days
• I didn’t get into any confrontations today
• My child didn’t have a meltdown today
57
https://www.wirlsummit.com/forget-conceal-dont-feel-instead-youve-got-name-tame/
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne
58
• Thank You Letters• Journals• Gratitude Jars/Boxes• Appreciation Anchors
SMALL ADAPTATION 2020 ROSEANN BAYNE
Create Appreciation
Anchors
Associate Positive Memories to a physical
item60
Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Emotional Intelligence© 1999-2017 The Institute for Health and Human Potential
Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Emotional Intelligence© 1999-2017 The Institute for Health and Human Potential
1. What is your moment in life that brings you great
appreciation?
■ Tying it to a physical movement or object helps recall
it more easily.
2. What could you use to physically recall it?
■ To install an appreciation anchor you must practice it
in non-stressful moments.
3. How will you practice your appreciation anchor?
Appreciation Anchor Application
Journals
Thank You Notes • Provides the brain with closure
• Stops rumination
• Interrupts hijacks
62
63
“50% of what we stress about isn’t even real, it’s imagined”
Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Emotional Intelligence© 1999-2017 The Institute for Health and Human Potential
Stop yourself from jumping to judgment by ask yourself...
■ Is this a real or perceived threat?
■Will it matter in 6 years, 6 months, 6 weeks, 6 hours, 6 minutes, 6 seconds?
■What would a person I admire do right now?
■ Is this reaction helping the bigger goals?
■What is my impact right now?
■What might their good intentions be?
■Do they feel heard/understood by me?
And then you are ready to re-engage with the person
with additional perspective and curiosity.
S.O.S.S. – Seek Information
65
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”-
Stephen Covey
Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Emotional Intelligence© 1999-2017 The Institute for Health and Human Potential
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 66
Read situationally relevant stories that
provide hope or solutions
The hippocampus creates memories from
what we read
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 67
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne
SleepPhysical Self-Care
68
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 69
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 70
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 71
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 72
https://www.wirlsummit.com/forget-conceal-dont-feel-instead-youve-got-name-tame/
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 73
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 74
“Your body is a very powerful pharmacy and the chemicals from stress and fear are very addicting”-Brene Brown
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 75
WATER
• The brain unlike other organs, cannot store water, thus requiring regular consumption
• Chronic dehydration shrinks the brain
• Each % of water loss decreases cognition by 5%
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 77
Small Adaptation 2020 Roseann Bayne 78
79