Welcome back to another round of fine legacy living, Uglacy style. The goal is to get an ugly, ‘could turn Medusa into stone’ sim by the 10th generation. And this lovely dog here is Boots. I actually didn’t realize until near the end of the first chapter that Boots is actually female. *ahem* Anyways, on with the legacy!

“Grrrr, what, you think you’re badder than me, I’ll show you! Ha!”This makes me so glad my dog doesn’t do this. Otherwise I think my ears would be bleeding from her constant barking.

“Hi social bunny, you want to be my friend, right?”Uh, Jona, the social bunny doesn’t come for kids...“I’m just practicing, because, you know, my whole family ignores me.”Not my fault. Now go chat on the computer with some random townie to boost your social needs. Weirdo. Pffft, who needs social interactions?

“Soooo, Joe, I see you’re also off today. You want to go have some fun?”“Um, uh, I have to skill here. Yep, gotta learn how to, erhm, get those toilets extra shiny!”

Ugs Mugs is still doing fine... Wow Wanda actually looks half decent. Amazing!

“Like, are those real? Ohhhh...”Perv.

“Like, omigosh! I look am-aaaaaaaa-zing!”“Yep, even though I only added on a hat. That’ll be $52 now.”

“Why hello there! I’m Edward- what? No, I’m not a vampire... NO I don’t sparkle, what is it with you people?! Anyways, I’m Edward Uglier, and I saw your ad. You are one fine ugly duckling if there ever was one!”

And Ed improves on his romancing ways when he can.

“Grrrr, back off Eafs, I was here first!”“No, you back off Rags! That knowledge kid is mine!”

Oh look, we got a lamp. Joe! Get out here and make your wishes!“Can I wish for brains for my son?”I said make wishes, I didn’t say ask for miracles!

“Woah! Like a pile of money almost landed on top of me!”“You idiot, that’s the money you wished for. Now hurry up and make your other 2 wishes, I’m late for a date with the matchmaker.”“The... Matchmaker?”“Don’t judge me!”

Joe: Alright everyone, time to act like we’re one big happy family! That means you too Nicole.“Pffft. So what, it’s just another birthday. Who is this kid anyways?”Jona: *sigh* what’d I ever do to be born in this family? Maybe my wish will come true and the social worker will take me away...

And not even a second after the candles were blown out and Jona grew up, 2 of the guests began to complain.“Seriously, are you guys as blonde as you look? The store is CLOSED! As in, not open to customers! You know what I have to say to you blondie?”

“Noogie! Hahaha!”...I think I love you Ed, if it weren’t for you being so stupid. And seriously, this is what he did as soon as she was done complaining. Teach them a lesson!

And where is Jona, you ask, in the midst of all this?

All by himself at the table.“*sigh* I just want some love... Is that too much to ask? You understand me, don’t you cake? Just a little family love.”

He’s rolled romance. Ick. Then again, maybe I should have seen this coming.

His nose blew up on growing up, but everything else is normal. Pfft, freak.

To try and match his desperate attempts at finding some love in his life, I gave Jona a makeover. Unfortunately I’m not the type who loves skinny jeans and emo glasses so none exist in my CC, but maxis items will suffice.“So bro, what do you think about my new look? Do you think it’s dark enough? You think chics will see me as a deep, anguished poet and go out with me?”“Dude, first, any girl that will go out with you will just turn around and cheat on you (probably with me), and secondly, all I see is a giant target saying ‘kick me, I’m a wuss.’”

“Hahaha! You’re such a joker bro! Your humor amazes me.”“...I wasn’t joking... Oh, and just to give you a taste of what you’re in for-”

“-Noogie! Hahahaha!”“Arrrgh! Stop it! I just spent several hours getting my hair like this!”

The next morning, Joe woke up to a realization.“AHHH! What is that thing?!”

That ‘thing’ happens to be your wife, Joe.“Was I blue* when I married her?”If so, then you’ve been blue for basically all your adult life.

__*to be blue in german means to be drunk. We learn such useful sayings in that class!

Hmm, you’d think pee puddles would freeze in the winter. But apparently I’ve come to learn that the law of physics do not stand in sim world. Ever.

“So, like, I heard you were arrested! Is that true?”“Uhm, yeah. But it was all because the cop said I looked too much like a sissy and I shouldn’t be wearing eyeliner, especially so badly, as he put it.”“Uh... You know, you should have just left it at ‘yeah’...”

Eventually he got the sympathy kiss he was after, though the shot was ruined due to dogs running all over the place and then some random townie passing by...“Psst, run for the hills girl, while you still can! And get yourself a guy who wears less eyeliner than you!”

What the-?! I never realized pets could actually fight, but apparently Boots got mad at one dog passing by...Joe: oh no! My poor Boots, I hope she doesn’t get hurt!I’d be more worried if it was your youngest son against that dog Joe...

And later that evening, it’s time for Joe to elder-fy. I decided it’s best to avoid the disaster of last time and not invite guests. Idiots. Seriously, who complains about a store when you’re there for a party?

And after a change of clothes, we have old Joe. Hehehe. Hey, wait a minute, that shirt looks familiar-

?!?! Where did I get this outfit?! Nevermind that, for now on, I think my elders are going to wear this. Volkerball!

For those who don’t know, Volkerball is Rammstein’s live concert DVD. It has to be the most awesome live show on disc, EVER!

“Bowchikawowwow! I’m a stud. Girls are like putty in my hands.”I wish I was making this up, but no, as soon as he walked into the store, this was the very first thing Ed did. *facepalm*

Joe: hold it there, perfect! I think this is the best shot, wait a minute, you, sissy boy, move your ass! Oh, and Nicole, can you move so I only see your backside? This view right now, you might break the camera lens.“Can I grow up anytime today?”

A change of clothes and hair later, and Nicole joined Joe in elderhood. I have to say, she didn’t grow any uglier.Joe: that’s because she couldn’t get any uglier.

Of course, kids can’t stay kids forever. Between giving noogies to his brother, dating various girls, and skilling for scholarships, it was soon time for Ed to head off to college.

“By son, make us proud!”“Wow, look at this phone, the metal is so... shiny... and smooth.”“Uh... You are going to college, right?”

Seriously, Ed, are you sure you’re not at Homer University or something? D’oh. Always wearing this goofy look.

Anyways, he’s off to La Fiesta. I know most use State, but uh... Long story short, when I was trying to fix certain issue several months back, I found out that something happened to my Strangetown, it just got up and disappeared, including the pre-made files in the C drive. T_T why couldn’t you have taken Veronaville you stupid computer! So for now, this may be the only time I’ll get to play Fiesta.

Not even 2 dormies moved in later, the cheerleader has already showed up. Greeeeaaat.“You, dormie, cheer damn it! You think I dye my hair and risk getting skin cancer to get this tan so I can run around screaming ‘Vo Gerbits!’ all day?! Huh, do you?!”*note* stay away from this cheerleader

Mary: so, like you could totally lose some weight there. I mean, you’re practically a sumo wrestler.Dormie: Oh really? And did someone forget to tell you Halloween was 3 months ago? You can stop trying to look like a skeleton anytime now.

HEATH!!!“Uh, what? My name’s Charlie.”Oh... nevermind... continue on.

__This dormie is actually Heath in my other legacy and married my founder

“Dude, that is so nasty. How do you expect to get a professional job eating like you’re a primate?”“Mmmph... Shut up man... Mmmphomomon... At least I don’t look like one.”

“...and he was soooo dreamy, I’ll always remember his kiss...”Mary: oh yeah? Who was it?“Mystery sim... *sigh*...”Dormies: what?!“That cheater!”“He said I was his true love!”“Waaaaah!”And the dorm girls learned the sad truth about Mystery Sim.

“Well hi there sexy, want to get down with the streaker?”“Why me, why me? I just want to clean this shower.”

?!?! Holy cow! No pun intended. This is the cow mascot that’s been hanging around. Why can’t you jump over into my other legacy for?!Kiyoshi: He was over there, but you probably killed him.<.< Hush you! You shouldn’t know about that! And I shall hunt him down in the other neighborhood... He’s bound to respawn...

Seriously, this cow has issues. And it’s not just about setting off the sprinklers every 30 minutes...

...it’s the fact that nobody else is there when he does it. Dude, Yoshi, you’re supposed to set them off when others are in the kitchen!

“Wheeee! Water water everywhere! It’s a water park!”...I give up...

“..and to kiss I pucker like this. See Mary? Don’t I have juicy lips?”Mary: Oh gee, look at the time, I’m going to be late for my physics class. Don’t want to miss that.

I love the dormie’s expression here at Yoshi passing out.

“Hey! So I know we’ve only talked for a day, but that’s like 3 months in our time. So what do you say you come over to get to know each better?”Who’s that on the line Ed?“Oh an ugly duckling, if there ever was one. I think my mom will like her.”Um Hm...

“Oh wow! Your campus directory pic does you no justice at all!”“Hehe, oh Ed, you’re such a charmer.”

...woah. Just, woah. I think she’s surpassed your mom in the ugly department Ed. Congrats.

I decided to give her a makeover with the chair. She looks a bit better, but honestly, there’s only so much you can do when the sim is just that ugly.

“Why Mona, come on over to my makeover chair. I’ll make you my own Mona Lisa masterpiece.”“Yeah yeah, but don’t even think about shaving my eyebrows off. I like mine just fine, thank you very much.”

“Hey hey, watch the broom kid, kapeesh?”

*sigh* Ed has gained part of his namesake. For some odd reason, half the girls that pass heartfart all over him and he’s not even a romance sim. >.<

“Vooo Gerbits!”“...this conversation wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have a llama’s ass in my face.”At least you’re only seeing his ass. You want to take a stab at what’s on the other side of that?

Back home, the usual is going on. By that I mean the family generally ignores Jona.“I shall pain all the blackness I feel inside onto a canvas.”...yeah...

“Man, this sucks. I bet even the dog gets more attention than me.”Boots: woof woof! hey, meat popsicle, when you’re done with that, fill my food bowl.

So Jona then decided to try sneaking out, in hopes to have some fun in his life.“Fun? No, that’d ruin my image. I’m sneaking out in hopes I can wallow in my despair with others.”Nothing like spreading the sadness.

Uh, Nicole, big limo outside the freaking window.“Really? Simselves must be moving in.”>.<*

Ok, that’s it. Jona, you officially suck. Loser. Getting caught when he tried to sneak out. How pathetic is that?

“You want me to what?!”Smustle. You know, to bring up the party score.“Uh, how about I just ignore that request 5 billion times.”GRRRRR! Jona, you obnoxious sim!

What does this look like?! This isn’t a spa idiot, out of the tub, out!

>.<*Apparently it’s a fad now to take a bath while at a party.

After the party Jona went and got wasted. All on free will no less. And probably would have continued to drink them down if I hadn’t finally sent him off to bed.

And school wasn’t much better. He must be starting an emo club at school judging by the look-a-like getting off the bus.

Hey, look Jona! A woman that actually isn’t repulsed by your eyeliner and whiny self! Go greet her!“But I don’t wanna-”Too bad, I say greet her or I’m setting your ass on fire.

And sensing downtime in the family, I decided let’s start a garden to liven it up a bit.“Dad, why do I have to be out here again? My image is suffering, I’m actually getting a tan out here!”“Ah shut up, the sun is good for you, and you need your vitamin A.”“...I can take pills for that.”“Just plant the freaking seeds.”

“Now that is one good looking man. Oh yeah.”...so this is where Ed gets it from. And speaking of Ed...

I never gave you a close up, did I? Well, here he is, in all his disfigured glory. There’s been plenty worse out there, but I say for only 2nd generation, we’re well on our way.

Meanwhile, a professor outside was talking trash to the mailbox...“Oh yeah buddy, well I can so take you down! What’re you going to do, huh? Throw bills at me?! Oh, wait, please don’t!”

“Smile for the camera you idiot! I want some face time!”“Fine, fine, now can you get your arm out of me?!”“Uh... Hehehe... Uh, I think it’s stuck...”“Greeeaaat. Now we can walk around like the Dixie Chicks. I am sooo looking forward to that. Jerk.”

__Hint: Futurama reference...

And appearing right across the street was the youngest son, Jona, who I had to makeover. I was never going to use this particular design, but it works for Jona, hehehe.“I want to write my term paper.”Wow, you really are a loser. You’re a romance sim, ROMANCE for plumbbob’s sake!

...and he proves he’s even more of a dweeb on trying to talk to some of the girls...“Why is this bad impersonation of goth talking to me?”

After unsuccessfully trying to start conversations with the dormies, we pull out the makeover chair...

...and what do you know, he scores! He ended up giving makeovers to about half the dorm, the rest can wait.

“Wow, you’re really good at chess Jona. Care to take this queen for a private lesson?”“Uh, well I can’t take your queen, the rook is in the way.”Well, at least by playing chess, he can score a few points with the dormies, if nothing else >.<

Despite all odds, however, Jona actually seemed to have his own club going in the dorm. 2 girls in particular constantly stalked him. And I am NOT joking. This blonde, Allyn, if he was playing chess, even with someone else, she’d come to watch and just... stare...

And then there was Breanna. She’s the less creepy of the 2 that stalk Jona in the dorms. Well, what do you know Jona, all that chess playing on growing up has proven to help out afterall.

...even if you got creepy stalkers out of it.“Uh, Allyn? It’s your move.”“Oh, no, I’m not playing. I’ll just watch you play Jona... You’re so talented, and your hands look so smooth when they move the pieces...”Yep, Allyn wins creepy stalker award. And seriously, this is what she did. She just sat down at the table and watched Jona play chess by himself. O.o

Uh, Jona, I don’t think sizing up your brother’s girlfriend is such a good idea...

“I know, I’m like, soooo hot.”And Jona starts showing his romance colors. By heartfarting over himself. If that isn’t one with a large ego, I don’t know what is.

“Dum de dum-Jona, what are you guys doing in here?”“Oh, um, Kelly was just showing me some stretches to do before I jump rope. Nothing big Allyn.”“Ah, I see. Well, I wouldn’t want you to injure yourself. Continue on.”___I am NOT the smartest player when it comes to romance sims. I was *this* close to Allyn almost seeing Kelly and Jona flirting. Yeah, he has about 4 different girlfriends, and to make matters worse, all of them are in the dorm. Yeah, me = not smart!

“Oh Jona, how could I ever hate you for catching you flirting with someone else? Besides, you’ve dumped her sorry ass, haven’t you?”“Of course Vi, I have no eyes for anyone else but you.”“You’re sweet. But remember, I’m not a Gothier for nothing. You best pick out your plot if you so much as look at another girl again.”

__I’m not joking, her last name is Gothier, like the Gothier graveyard.

In that case, Jona should have picked out his plot 4 times now. Let’s count the girlfriends, shall we? There’s Allyn, Vivian, and here is Breanna...

Kelly...

And the most difficult one, Marion. They actually had negative chemistry at the beginning, so I had to build their relationship up before Jona could successfully flirt with her. So yeah, we’re juggling 5 different girlfriends, and all of them are in the same dorm, Vi caught him flirting with Allyn near the beginning, but that’s cooled off pretty quickly.

“What the heck are you two doing?”“Dancing dude, come on, just feel the music!”“Er, I’m just copying him. I have no idea what I’m doing either.”“Dorks.”

“You are under arrest, Uglier, for going over the dorm’s phone minutes.”“What?! That’s absurd, landlines don’t have minute plans.”“Well, with the whole cutting budgets, the university decided to buy minutes for phones. Cheaper that way. Now hands behind your back!”

After being introduced to the Secret Society, Edward came back to find something on the roof.“Could it be-? But where’d it come from? So... beautiful...”It came from buy mode Ed, now hop to it, the night is a wasting.

“Well alright. Besides, what can a flashlight possibly do with a telescope?”Oh nothing, nothing at all Ed... <.<

PT 1053: uh, PT 807, I’m getting a light reading from sector 45.PT 807: hmm, it appears this subject is using a flashlight into a telescope. Can we get a closer look 1053?PT 1053: oh my mothership. 807, I think it’s a new species on this planet! It appears to be a cross between an ape and a human!PT 807: really?! Hang on boys, we’re picking this one up!PT 1053: DiscoveryUniverse here we come!

“AHHHHHH! I can’t go, I have class early tomorrow morning, can’t I take a raincheck!”Nope, now happy trails Ed!

-several hours later-PT 807: subject dropped safely back where we found him.PT 1053: uh, sir, I don’t think being tossed from 50 feet in the air and landing on one’s face is defined as ‘safe’.PT 807: for him it is. Now hit the accelerator, I want to get back in time to see the newest Spaceships’s Funniest Subject Videos!

“Aw man, why’d the aliens choose him for? I’m better looking!”“Woo, go Ed! That jump from the ship was killer dude!”Ed: oh motherlode! I think that fall broke my jaw, now my face is ruined!

Yeah... And I think I’m going to end this chapter here for now. I know I’m kinda slow with these coming out, but please keep in mind, it’s not called ‘side order of Ugly’ for nothing, as the main one takes a bit longer to put together. So for now until whenever I get the next one out, happy simming!

“Hahaha! Look at Pitt cry! He’s a crackup!”