She’s Just Trying to Get Attention! Ashley Lindberg [email protected].

She’s Just Trying to Get

Attention!

Ashley [email protected]

Agenda

Universal supports:for all children through relationships environments.

Prevention: targeted social emotional strategies to prevent problems.

Intervention: individualized intensive interventions

Why Talk about Attention Seeking?

Universal Supports to Prevent Attention-getting misbehavior

Science Daily Article

Reinforcement: The 5:1 rule

Gottman, J. (1994). Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last. New York: Simon and Schuster.

Relationships with tough parents

Note: these are not tough parents. They are my in-laws, and they are lovely.

PBS, it’s all about relationships

Build a relationship with every familyProvide info about child developmentGive parents a person to turn to if they are

ever ready to learn more about parenting.Help plan for the next transition. Report suspected abuse and neglect.

Barriers:

They are not that friendly

Your hardest kids probably have your hardest families.

Stuff that makes kids misbehave sometimes make adults misbehave.

Some parents are worried about your judgment, have a problem with authority, or have had past negative experiences in school.

Solutions:They are not that friendly.

5:1 rule phone calls, voicemail, email, bravo cards, photos, certificates, awards

Face time

Barriers: They don’t have time for you

Parents may be struggling with getting basic needs met.

Parents can’t get work off, don’t have transportation.

Solutions: They don’t have time for you.

Home-visitMeet them on their lunch breakMake plans months in advance, then

give reminder calls/notes/stickersGo out that dayOpen house v. graduation

Barriers: We don’t have time for them

•Many agencies don’t give staff members adequate time to build family relationships•Too much to do during the work week!

Solutions: We don’t have time for them.

• Once in a while deliver a forgotten coat• More Parent-Teacher Conferences• Open house• School productions/plays• Art shows• Graduation parties• Parents come in for a class party/event, etc. • Bravo cards• Photos home • Certificates or awards

Barriers: We can’t get a hold of them!

Stupid cricket phones

Solutions:We can’t get a hold of them

My business card laminated with my photo and a magnet for fridge

Communication notebooksTape notes to backsCall their emergency numbers

Barriers:We are mad at them

Its hard not to judge! We love their kid and we’re mad that they are making his life hard.

Solutions:We are mad at them

Everyone is doing their best with the education they have been given.

Solutions:We are mad at them

You can’t darn a sock starting in the hole.

“I’m not trained for this!” A recipe for a home-visit

Let simmer. Repeat.

1. Hi! (add positive story)

2. How are you? Last time we talked we talked about… How’s that going?

3. Encourage and build on their efforts!

4. Summarize “we have a plan. I will.. You…”

Yellow Zone

Prevention of

Attention-Getting Misbehavior

for At-Risk Kids

Prevention with At-Risk Kids

Social skills preschoolers needKnowing and liking your selfUnderstanding and managing feelingsMaking and keeping friends

Knowing and Liking Yourself

Same and different: stand up (or thumbs up or line up) if you have a sister.

Permission to like/dislike things

(Koplow, 2007). Read a “book” about a child

Knowing and Liking Yourself Compliments

Compliments“I like the way you…” Teach the song to the tune of Frere

Jacque (I do it on instrument day):

Hello Candice

How are you?

Compliment a friend and we’ll clap for you!

Knowing and Liking Yourself : Jobs

(Pictures from (Pictures from Board MakerBoard Maker))

Knowing and Liking Yourself : Jobs

Meaningful jobs help children feel responsibility and belonging Every child has a job? Sharing jobs?

Knowing and Liking Yourself: Songs

Compliment song Head shoulders knees and toes

Managing Feelings: Solve Problems Together

Have a class meeting• “Put it on the agenda” (Nelsen, et at., 2007).

• Time out was going badly: Sad coffee break

Act it out with puppets (Derman-Sparks,1989).

• Ask a child before hand if the puppet can use his problem.

• Children act out positive examples. Only puppets act out negative.

Managing Feelings: Songs

If you’re frustrated and you know it ask for help!

Making and Keeping Friends

Making friends: Know the kids names (including middle and last names)

• Up and down is the name of the game.

Practice finding a role (Nelsen, et at., 2007).

Keeping friends: What can you say when you don’t want to

play? CSEFEL

Making and Keeping Friends

Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning

http://www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel/

Intervention for to Attention-getting misbehavior for top of the triangle kids.

The ABCs

Antecedent Behavior Consequence

In this situation… I do this… to get this!

Competing Behavior Pathway

A B C

New Behavior

Mistaken Goals

Nelsen, J., Erwin, C., Duffy, R. A., (2007).

Positive Discipline for Preschoolers.

New York: Three Rivers Press.

Mistaken Goals

Special Service Power Revenge Assumed helplessness

Special Service

I’m important when I’m keeping you busy with me!

AnnoyedIrritatedWorriedGuilty

Special Service

I’m important when I’m keeping you busy with me.


We usually try:Doing things for the child that she could do herself, Reminding, Coaxing

The behavior stops temporarily but later resumes

The ABCs

Antecedent BehaviorAttention:Notice me!

Involve me!

In this situation… I do this… to get this need met!

Special Service

A: Avoid special service, plan special time.

Set up routines.

Set up a signal.

B: Problem solve with the child

C: Redirect with a useful task.

Ignore

Misguided Power

I want to be the boss!

“You can’t make me”

ChallengedThreatened

Defeated

Misguided Power

I’m important when I’m keeping you busy with me.

We usually respond by: Fighting, Giving in, Wanting to be right Thinking “you can’t get away with this”

The Child responds by:Intensifies behavior, Acts defiant


The ABCs of Misguided Power

Antecedent Behavior

Attention:Let me help!

Give me choices!


Misguided Power

A: Ask for help

Offer limited choices

Tell the child what you will do and do it.

Develop mutual respect.

B: Songs, books, social stories,

Conversations where you draw at the same time.

C: Be firm and kind at the same time

Let routines be the boss

Leave and calm down.

Revenge

Hurt

Disappointed

Disbelieving

Disgusted

I don’t feel like I belong, so I’ll hurt others. I can’t be liked here.

Revenge

We usually try:Retaliating, Getting even, Thinking “How could you do this to me?”

The Child:Retaliates/ Escalates Chooses another weapon

Hurt

Disappointed

Disbelieving

Disgusted

I don’t feel like I belong, so I’ll hurt others. I can’t be liked here.

The ABCs of Revenge

Antecedent Behavior

Attention:Express that I’m hurting.


Revenge

A: Build trust

Use active listening

Show you care, Encourage strengths

B: Songs, books, social stories, Conversations where you draw at the same time

C: Acknowledge hurt feelings

Avoid punishment and retaliation

Make amends

Act-don’t talk.

Assumed Inadequacy

Despair

Hopelessness

Helplessness

Inadequate

I’m helpless and unable. It’s not worth trying because I can’t do anything right.

Assumed Inadequacy

DespairHopelessnessHelplessnessInadequate

We usually try:Giving up, Doing for, Over helping

The Child:Retreats, Acts passiveNo improvement/ No response

I’m helpless and unable. It’s not worth trying because I can’t do anything right.

The ABCs of Assumed Inadequacy

Antecedent Behavior

Escape attention and tasks I could fail


Assumed Inadequacy

A: Stop all criticism

Encourage any positive attempt.

Show faith in child’s abilities

Enjoy the child. Build on his interests.

B: Teach/show how.

Break task down into small steps

C: Don’t give up

Encourage, encourage, encourage

Empathize

Write the Behavior Plan!

Work with family and team

List strengths and motivators

•To brainstorm rewards•To make our teaching tools kid-specific•To start meetings on a positive note

Any Questions?

[email protected]

Recommended Reading

Unsmiling Faces, Lesley Koplow Positive Discipline, Jane Nelsen Unbias Curriculum, Louise Derman-Sparks Bully Proofing in Early Childhood, Kayla McCarnes, Karin I.

Nelson, Nancy W. Sager http://www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel/

References Carr, E.,Dunlap, G., Horner, R., Koegel, R., Turnbull, A., Sailor, W., Anderson, J., Albin, R., Koegel, L., & Fox, L.

(2002). Positive Behavior Support: Evolution of an Applied Science. Journal of Positive Behavior Interventions, 4(1), 4-17.

Crone, D., & Horner, R. (2003). Building Positive Behavior Support Systems in Schools: Functional Behavioral Assessment. New York, NY: The Guilford Press.

Derman-Sparks, L., (1989). Anti-bias Curriculum. Washington, DC: NAEYC.

Gilliam, W. S. (2005). Prekindergarteners left behind: Expulsion rates in state prekindergarten systems. Retrieved March 12, 2007, from http://www.fcd_us.org/PDFs/NationalPreKExpulstionPaper03.02_new.pdf.

Gottman, J. (1994). Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last. New York: Simon and Schuster.

Koplow, L. (2007). Unsmiling Faces: How Preschools Can Heal. New York: Teacher’s College Press.

McCarnes, K., Nelson, K. I., Sager, N. W., (2005). Bully Proofing in Early Childhood,Building a Caring Community. Longmont, CO: Sopris West.

Nelsen, J., Erwin, C., Duffy, R. A., (2007). Positive Discipline for Preschoolers. New York: Three Rivers Press.

Squires, J., & Bricker, D., (2006). Activity-based Approach to Developing Young Children's Social Emotional Competence. Baltimore: Brookes Publishing Company.

Stormont, M., Lewis, T., & Beckner, R. (2005). Positive Behavior Support Systems: Applying Key Features in Preschool Settings. Teaching Exceptional Children, 37(6), 42-49.

http://www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel/, 2009

She’s Just Trying to Get Attention! Ashley Lindberg [email protected].

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Transcript of She’s Just Trying to Get Attention! Ashley Lindberg [email protected].