Sha's dNYel Wedding Gift

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The un-official dNYel Instruction Manual: To Sha On her Wedding Day All sorts of advice on Marriage and Bliss

Transcript of Sha's dNYel Wedding Gift

Page 1: Sha's dNYel Wedding Gift

The un-officialdNYel

Instruction Manual:

To Sha

On her Wedding Day

All sorts of advice on

Marriage and Bliss

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NICE

Shahida dear,

Remember to treat one another with kindness. It will take you through the long journey together.

Lots of Love,

Cikgu Kalida

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COMMITTED

Love your husband with all his faults and idiosyncrasies, and that includes his family. He comes as a total package – non-refundable and non-replaceable. Remember that you have already checked him out before you decided to love him.

Lucy

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STOIC

Dear Sha...Dear Sha...

Congrats on becoming Congrats on becoming “MRS”!“MRS”!

Wishing you bliss in your Wishing you bliss in your married life and married life and remember,remember,

““Tolerance” is the key.Tolerance” is the key.

Love BLohLove BLoh

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MEDIATEDMEDIATEDDear Sha, Dear Sha,

Monroe said, “TheMonroe said, “Theonly thing I wearonly thing I wear

between the sheetsbetween the sheetsis Chanel Nis Chanel No.o. 5”… 5”…

Which is by far theWhich is by far thebetter option tobetter option to

Channel 5.Channel 5.MinMin

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PECUNIARY

Ah Sha Mie Na…

Never let the Man decide how you should spend your money. They always forget women are the best accountants ever

Ah Heah

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DIPLOMATIC

Sha Sha Mei Na…When the Man acts “bimbo” as a means of magnifying his ego, zip up the mouth

and stop talking. They need to know that contrary to their

belief, women DO know how to shut up and when to.

Communication resumes when a pair of Ferragamo appears at the bedside.

Ah Heah again

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PROLIFICDear Shah,

Congratulations!

Have a blessed marriage and have lots of kidsssssss!

Love Ivay

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ENVIRONMENTAL

Dearest Sheikh & Shah

Wishing you a house full of sunshine,

hearts full of cheer,

love that grows deeper

each day of the year!

Jo

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MATHEMATICAL

Dearest Shahida,Dearest Shahida,

Let nothing limit you…Let nothing limit you…

go forth and multiply! :Pgo forth and multiply! :P

CynthiaCynthia

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MULTILINGUALDearest Shahida…

“Meilleurs Voeux!”

Never go to bed angry!

Make up, kiss and the rest is history…

Anne V

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RESPONSIBLE

Dearest Sha,

Congrats! Have a blissful marriage and don’t bully your mum (do your own laundry)!

Here’s to the little Sheiks & Shahidas!

Amy

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CARNALHey Shahida…

Rule No 1:

Finally, licence to have SEX!

Rule No 2:Don’t EXHAUST

yourself on the 1st night… Space out!

Shasila

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DOMESTIC

The 4 most important words in ANY marriage… “I’ll do the dishes!”

Elizabeth

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COMMON SENSICALCOMMON SENSICALNever attempt the Never attempt the

Kama SutraKama Sutraafter a heavy dinner.after a heavy dinner.

PaulPaul

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CLASSICAL

Just Do It.Nike (?)

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TACTICAL

Invest in an Arsenal of sexy negligee and initiate sex often.

An anonymous Arsenal fan’s wife

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CONFIDENTIAL

Dear Shahida,Dear Shahida,Learn to trust, commit and forgive – that’s Learn to trust, commit and forgive – that’s how my marriage has lasted 3 decades how my marriage has lasted 3 decades and more!and more!One more secret: food for the soul and stomach may do wonders, so start investing in those cookery books!

Kam Chuen

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TRAVELOGICAL

Dearest Shahida.

Congratulations on your most memorable & beautiful day.

Your journey begins now and you’ll discover new strengths and possibilities. Togetherness is great.

Julianna

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THERAPEUTIC

Be ever cheerful, ever joyful.

Laugh always.

Hwee Teng

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MONOCHROMATIC

say Yes to your man,

yEars later he’ll still

Love you

Love you and

hOnour your

voWs.

Anonymous yellow person

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GOURMET

Marriage is lik

e a long dinner with a

Marriage is lik

e a long dinner with a

series of courses to

satisfy the vario

us

series of courses to

satisfy the vario

us

appetites. F

or service satisfaction,

appetites. F

or service satisfaction,

think low, don’t a

im too high.

think low, don’t a

im too high.

Anonymous gourm

and

Anonymous gourm

and

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COMMUNICATIVE

Men want to hear things like this:1. “You turn me on”2. “I feel really safe when I’m with you”3. “I appreciate the way you handled the

situation”4. “Thank you for working so hard”5. “If only my friends had husbands like you”

Especially in that order!

Kah Lin

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PARADOXICAL

Just be submissive and you’ll be EMPOWERED.

Anonymous

Pet owner

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PR

OV

ER

BIA

L

Joshua

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EPICUREAN

Dear Shahida

Just bear in mind this wise advice from the married women in our Dept:

“The way to a Man’s heart

is through his tummy.”

Gladys

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EXISTENTIAL

Dear Sha,

Just one word…

ENJOY!!

Hee Hee…

Anonymous laconic