Shakespeare Written Today

“Romeo and Juliet”

Juliet texts Romeo

CMP! TKNG FL PSHN 2NITE.

NO WR-EES. LOL

C U @ CRYPT.

OXOX--J

Friar Laurence, needing to get a hold of Romeo, tries to fax and

call him at the Mantua Homestead Suites, but can’t get through.

(Hey, it’s Italy.)He’s called to Vespers before the

line is clear.

Romeo, doesn’t understand Juliet’s message. He tries to call Friar Laurence, but the friar’s phone is busy. (Go figure.) He finally gets the friar’s voicemail.

Frustrated, he decides to head back to Verona in his Alfa.

Juliet is found “dead,” and is buried.

Friar Laurence finally checks his messages

And desparately tries to call Romeo,but the road between Mantua and Verona

is a dead zone.

Friar Laurence must get to the tomb before Romeo arrives

and Juliet awakes.

He finds his Vespa has been stolen whilehe was at Vespers.

He goes on foot,at night.

Romeo arrives at the tomb first. He fights and kills Paris. He finds Juliet, kisses her,

drinks poison and dies.

Friar Laurence gets to the tomb just in time for Juliet to awake.

He tries to get her out and to a convent. She refuses to leave.

Friar Laurence flees to figure out how to spin these events.

Juliet decides to join Romeo in death, takes his dagger and stabs herself.

Everyone arrives to find Paris, Romeo and Juliet, all dead.

Friar Laurence comes clean.Montague and Capulet end the feud.They swear to erect a statue to theirchildren’s love.

The End