7/27/2019 SEXTHERA

1/4

BuddhaNet: Buddhist Info Network Buddha Dharma Education Assoc. Web Site: www.buddhanet.net PO Box K1020 Haymarket NSW 2000 Email: bdea@buddhanet.net Tel: +61-2-92123071 AUSTRALIA

SEX AND THERAVADA BUDDHISM

by Antony Woodsemail: antony272@hotmail.com

1st Edition 7th April 2000

Contents

IntroductionLove (metta) in the Theravadin teachingThe three main antidotes to attraction to the opposite sexSex and morality

The stories of restraint of Ven Anuruddha and Ven AnandaBuddha's positive comments on love and marriageConclusion

*** *** ***

Introduction

As one of the primal drives of mankind, sex is given extensivetreatment in the Buddha's teachings. Theravada monks are celibate, andextensive support is given to them through the sangha and the vinaya(monk's rules). However, total abstention from sex is considered to be

by far the most difficult precept to keep(1).

Love (metta) in the Theravadin teaching

"Love, but not the sensuous fire that burns, scorches and tortures,that inflicts more wounds than it cures - flaring up now, at the nextmoment being extinguished, leaving behind more coldness and lonelinessthan was felt before.(2)"

The three main antidotes against attraction to the opposite sex

The first is, "Think of every female (male) that you encounter aseither your mother, sister, or daughter (father, brother, son)(3). Infact if one accepts the theory of endless transmigration as literaltruth, every other human being has been, at one time or another, such arelative.(4)

The second antidote to sensual desire include the contemplation of thethirty-two parts of the body. The first five and visible parts are:

hair of the head, hair of the body (pubic hair), nails, teeth and skin.

7/27/2019 SEXTHERA

2/4

When considered in isolation, these body parts lose their attraction.This meditation helps to protect one's whole mental make-up -emotionally, ethically, intellectually against the insidious influencesof the media directed at the sex instinct(5)

The third antidote is watchfulness. In Burma, for example, the monk ishidden behind a screen to prevent him from being captivated by anyonein his audience or vice versa.(6)

Sex and morality

"If we have no moral commitment, then our instinctscan take control. For example, if we just followsexual desire without any reference to morality,then we become caught up in all kinds of thingsthat cause self-aversion. There is adultery,promiscuity and disease, and all the disruption andconfusion that come from not reining in ourinstinctual nature through the limitations ofmorality." from "The Four Noble Truths"by Ajahn Sumedho(4NOBLETR.ZIP)" p68.

Buddha's positive comments on love and marriage

In Buddha's time there was the devoted couple known as "Nakulasparents" The father once declared to Buddha that ever since he hadtaken her as a child bride, he had not transgressed against his wife,even in thought - "My sole wish is to be united with her forever, inthis world and the next." When Buddha heard the wife echo the samesentiments regarding her husband, he announced to his followers:

"This husband and wife are indeed well-matched - well-matched in faith,well-matched in virtue, well-matched in generosity, well-matched ingoodness, well-matched in wisdom. A perfect pair and a wonderful

example of wedded bliss, surely they will be together for eternity,enjoying great felicity."(7)

One of the Buddha's followers was blessed with a devoted wife who wasgood and virtuous as well as beautiful and charming. On a journey thecouple was waylaid by bandits. The gang leader threatened to kill thehusband and carry off the wife. The woman told the bandit chiefdefiantly, "If you kill my husband, I will kill myself on the spot."Seeing that there was no chance of getting their way, the bandits letthe couple go.

Buddha was told of the incident and said to the husband, "You are veryfortunate to have such a good wife. She also saved my life in a

previous incarnation. I was an elephant king and she was my mate. I wasdetermined to destroy a monster crab that was terrorising our herd, butit caught my leg with one of its claws. All the other elephants fled inpanic, and I was being pulled down into the river. 'Don't leave me!' Iyelled out to my mate. 'I will never leave you, noble husband, the oneI have adored for all these years,' she reassured me. She then trickedthe crab into slightly loosening its grip and I was able to crush themonster."

Buddha concluded, "With such a fine woman as your wife you are assured

7/27/2019 SEXTHERA

3/4

of eternal happiness and joint attainment of enlightenment.(8)". (Notethat enlightenment is normally considered to be a solitary attainment.)

Ven Anuruddha's story of restraint

There were monks who took their vows seriously. While on a journey,Anuruddha requested lodging at a rest-house in a certain village. Thewoman proprietess welcomed him, but soon after he was taken in a grouparrived and also asked to be put up.

The proprietess became enamored of the handsome monk and invited him tospend the night in her quarters on the pretense that the rest-housewould be too crowded and noisy for him. Anuruddha consented, and thewoman moved quickly to prepare the chamber. She set up a luxuriouscouch and dressed herself in her most alluring clothes and wore hersweetest perfume. When Anuruddha entered, she declared her love for himand added that they would make a perfect couple. She cast off her gownand paraded before the monk. But even when she slipped onto the couchnext to him, Anuruddha admirably retained control of his faculties andsuccessfully resisted the woman's considerable charms.

Amazed at the monk's dignified self-control, the woman asked forforgiveness, listened keenly to the monk's Dhamma discourse through the

rest of the night, and that morning took refuge in the Buddha'steaching. Word got out about the episode, and Anuruddha was, rathersurprisingly, censured despite his noble behaviour and conversion ofthe woman - he had allowed himself to be alone with a woman in hersleeping quarters, and that is absolutely forbidden.

Ven Ananda's story of restraint

Few can reside in a state of true celibacy in both body and mind.Ananda, for instance, was Buddha's personal attendant for years. Hebecame Buddha's follower primarily because of the Master'stranscendence of sex: "When anyone becomes inflamed by sexual passion,

his mind becomes disturbed and confused, he loses self-control, and hebecomes reckless and crude. Besides, in sexual intercourse the bloodbecomes inflamed and adulterated with impure secretions. Naturally,from such a source there can never originate an aureole of suchtranscendently pure and golden brightness as I have seen emanating fromthe person of [Buddha.....and that is why I became] one of his truefollowers."(9)

With that kind of example ever before him, we might expect Ananda to bethe ideal celibate, but no - it was very rough going even for him.Ananda seems to have had a much more pleasant personality than many ofthe other lugubrious monks and was consequently a great favourite ofthe women in the community. It was Ananda who lobbied the Buddha for

the establishment of the Order of Nuns. Women, including nuns,continually fell in love with Ananda (his name means "Beloved") andmore than once he had to be rescued by miraculous intervention from theclutches of some adoring female(10) He did, however, stay the course,and he remains an inspiration for celibate Buddhists.(11)

Conclusion

Theravada Buddhism gives very thorough treatment of the issue of sex

7/27/2019 SEXTHERA

4/4

and the monks are supported by strict rules regarding sexuality.Laypeople too are given advice to reduce sexual craving and Buddha gavea positive message to some marriages - that they could lead to thejoint attainment of Nibbana/Nirvana.

Notes

1) Tsomo, "Sakyadhita: Daughters of the Buddha", p298, Ithaca, N.Y,Snow Lion Publications, 1980.2) Nyanaponika Thera, "The Four Sublime States", Buddhist PublicationSociety, PO Box 61, Kandy, Sri Lanka.3) Rahula, Gotama's son, was given similar advice: "Regard all women asyour mother - gracious, sweet, beautiful, and chaste (Jones,"Mahavastu", Vol.2 p254, London Pali Text Society, 1973)4) Stevens, John, "Lust for Enlightenment - Buddhism and Sex" p45,Shambhala, 19905) Nyanaponika Thera, "The Heart of Buddhist Meditation"p66, BuddhistPublication Society, PO Box 61, Kandy, Sri Lanka.6) Bechert and Grombrich p317) Woodward and Hare, "Gradual Sayings" Vol.2 pp69-708) Jataka 2679) Goddard "A Buddhist Bible" p112, Boston, Beacon Press, 196610) Goddard "A Buddhist Bible" p110

11) Woodward and Hare, "Gradual Sayings", Vol.1 p148ff, London , PaliText Society, 1973.