SESSION 5 THE PRESSURE OF...

SESSION 5

THE PRESSURE OF CONFLICT

48 S E S S I O N 5 © 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay

What confl icts and competitions do you fi nd compelling?

B I B L E S T U D I E S F O R L I F E 49© 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay

THE BIBLE MEETS LIFEFranklin Roosevelt once said, “There is nothing I love as much as a good fi ght.” Fighting comes naturally to many people. On any given day they’d rather go for the jugular than give in.

James wrote that we often fi nd ourselves in the midst of fi ghts, arguments, quarrels, or some kind of dispute. We feel the pressure to fi ght each other over politics, relationships, work, and church. We quarrel over money, religion, sports, you name it.

We even fi ght ourselves. We feel pressure caused by a lack of contentment and a restlessness in our spirits that can’t seem to be satisfi ed.

We even feel pressure to fi ght God. You may be in confl ict with God right now, stubbornly refusing to yield, foolishly holding on tightly to the lesser things of this world. James teaches us how to handle the pressure of confl icts so they don’t become quarrels or wars.

THE POINT

Overcome the pressure of confl ict by humbly submitting to Christ.

50 S E S S I O N 5 © 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay

Key Words

Adulteresses (v. 4 ) – In spiritual adultery, people choose substitutes over God.

the proud (v. 6 ) – The term refers to those who align their hearts with anyone or anything other than God, thus making Him their rival.

humble (v. 6 ) – The term conveys a n attitude of lowliness, poverty, lack of power. Humble people have the right view of God and themselves . Rather than align themselves against God they learn from Him, trusting His leadership and will.

James 4:1-10 (HCSB)

1 What is the source of wars and fi ghts among you? Don’t they come from the cravings that are at war within you?

2 You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fi ght and war. You do not have because you do not ask.

3 You ask and don’t receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your evil desires.

4 Adulteresses! Don’t you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? So whoever wants to be the world’s friend becomes God’s enemy.

5 Or do you think it’s without reason the Scripture says that the Spirit who lives in us yearns jealously?

6 But He gives greater grace. Therefore He says: God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

7 Therefore, submit to God. But resist the Devil, and he will fl ee from you.

8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, double-minded people!

9 Be miserable and mourn and weep. Your laughter must change to mourning and your joy to sorrow.

10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?


James 4:1-5James began chapter 4 with a question. Where do our confl icts come from? If you are going to stop a fi ght, the best way to do it is to stop it at its source. James noted three sources of confl ict:

Self-centeredness. The lusts and pleasures in verse 1 come from the Greek word from which we get our word “hedonism.” Our fl eshly bodies long for pleasure—sexual or otherwise—and a life of ease. The pleasures of this world try to choke out God’s Word in your life (Luke 8:14 ). They act like soldiers waging war against our soul (1 Pet. 2:11 ). Self-centered desire for pleasure makes us demanding, unfaithful , greedy, possessive, murderous, covetous, and envious .

Prayerlessness. We fi ght because we don’t have, and we don’t have because we don’t ask. Too often, we are so busy fi ghting that we don’t have time to pray. Or we pray for the wrong things (v. 3). God is the giver of every good and perfect gift (Jas. 1:17 ). But we never know God’s provision because we don’t take time to pray. When we do pray, James says we don’t always get because we ask from a bad place. Actually from a cruel, evil, sick place. We give our wish list to God with one aim in mind: satisfaction of our own evil and selfi sh desires. James says that wastes (that’s what the word “spend” means in v. 3) God’s blessing.

Worldliness. Verses 4-5 refer to embracing the world’s values, living for the here and now, and seeking the world’s treasures, glory, and recognition. Seeking the things of the world brings us into confl ict with God. When you long for the things of this world, you commit adultery against God. Believers are the bride of Christ, and to turn from Him is unfaithfulness. Seeking the world also shows hostility toward God; we act hatefully and in opposition to Him, similar to before we knew Jesus (Rom. 8:7 , Col. 1:21 ). To make God your enemy literally means to stand against Him.

What cravings most often lead you into confl ict?

Q U E S T I O N #2

52 S E S S I O N 5

THE POINT Overcome the pressure of confl ict by humbly submitting to Christ.

© 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay

PRAYING FOR

CHECK YOUR MOTIVES CHECK YOUR MOTIVES CHECK

SELFISH MOTIVECHRISTCENTERED

MOTIVE

Praying for a car

Praying for someone's salvation

Praying for more money

How do motives relate to confl ict?

Q U E S T I O N #3


James 4:6-10James off ers fi ve practical ways to overcome the pressure of confl ict:

1. Humble yourself. God is opposed to the proud. When we persist with arrogant, self-centered, self-seeking actions, then confl ict and fi ghts remain part of our experience. The pain of confl ict is great, but James promises that God’s grace is greater. And His grace—His help, favor, and blessing—are given to those who choose to be humble. Humble people are teachable. Humble people don’t demand their way. Humble people admit their needs to God and others. Humble people don’t seek the things of the world to validate them. Humble people fi nd grace from God to start over and receive new strength. When you humble yourself in the presence of God, He will exalt you.

2. Submit to God. Submission is a command (v. 7). The verb “submit” is a compound word in Greek that means to align yourself under something or someone. Think of an organizational chart or a military formation. Christ is the head and we align ourselves under Him. Christ is our commander and we carry out His orders. We avoid and resolve confl ict by laying down our rights and following Jesus.

3. Resist the Devil. The word “devil” in verse 7 is the Greek word diablos. It’s where we get our word “diabolical.” It’s a compound word that means “to throw or hurl against.” Satan casts insults and accusations against you. He whispers : “Demand your way,” “Give them a piece of your mind,” “You deserve better,” “You can’t let them get away with that,” and many other lies and temptations. But the diabolical one only steals, kills, and destroys (John 10:10 ). So, stand against him. Take every thought captive to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5 ). Put on the armor of God (Eph. 6:10-17 ). Hide God’s Word in your heart (Luke 4:1-12 ). My wife and I have learned that when our tempers burn hottest and we are really going at it, the only one winning is Satan. We’ve learned to stop and acknowledge that. My spouse is not the enemy; Satan is. We call that out for what it is: spiritual warfare. And then we work together to reject his attempt to devour our marriage.

Q U E S T I O N #4

What is involved in resisting the Devil?

54 S E S S I O N 5



When you resist the devil in the name of Jesus, he will fl ee. Why? Because you surrender to God and hide yourself in Him—Satan wants none of Jesus. That battle is already won.

4. Draw near to God. The Bible off ers several ways to foster close fellowship with God:

Read the Bible. It is God’s love letter to you. It shows how to draw near to God’s heart and plan.

Listen to God. God welcomes and enjoys your conversation. Like any relationship, both listening and talking are a must. Bible reading is how God talks to you. Set a daily time to read and pray. Doing so will re-adjust the altitude and attitude of your heart, and shed the selfi shness and worldliness that so often lead to confl ict.

Worship. Whether worshipping with your church family on Sunday or focusing on God during the week, keep God in your mind. When you draw near to God, He draws near to you.

5. Get rid of your sins. James commands us to cleanse our hands and purify our hearts. For confl ict to end, we must own our faults and wrongs, and seek to be made right. Invite the Holy Spirit to take over. He aligns your hands and heart with God, the essence of holiness. Cleanse your hands through repentance. Purify your heart by letting Him make your heart holy. The word “purify” translates to the Greek word “holy.” James adds that we need to purify our hearts because we are double-minded. More accurately, we can be double-souled. Our fl esh and Satan appeal to our soul to turn from God. But the Spirit of God within us beckons us to yield to God and follow after Christ. The most miserable person in the world is the one who claims Christ, yet follows the fl esh. We are not to have a divided soul.

What helps you draw near to Christ and humble yourself before Him?

Q U E S T I O N #5

" In every encounter we either

give l ife or we drain it.

There is no neutral exchange."

B R E N N A N M A N N I N G

Q U E S T I O N #5

" In every encounter we either

give l ife or we drain it.

There is no neutral exchange."


When the pressure of confl ict begins to rise in your life, take action. Based on the principles in James 4:1-10, consider these steps:

Check your motives. Evaluate your desires to determine if they are self-centered or Christ-centered.

Submit to Christ. Give up every thought and desire to the lordship of Christ.

Keep a prayer journal. Keep the proper focus by identifying how each request can specifi cally honor Jesus.

Confl ict may be compelling in the sports arena, but not in your life. Quit competing with God and live humbly under Jesus Christ.

Start Here

David felt like he was all alone—with a story no one in our small group could understand.

“Brittany cut her wrists last weekend. I don’t believe she intended to take her life, but I defi nitely heard the cry for help,” he said. “When I asked her why, she said, ‘It isn’t like you would miss me, Dad. You’ve always been so busy with your career. I’ve felt for a long time that I’m invisible to you.’”

To continue reading “Start Here” from More Living magazine, visit BibleStudiesforLife.com/articles.

LIVE IT OUT

you would miss me, Dad. You’ve always been so busy with your career. I’ve felt for a long time that I’m invisible to you.’”

PHO

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Healing

relationships

with grown

children

sometimes

means dealing

with past failures

to move

forward.

Start Here

David felt like he was all alone — with a story no

one in our small group could understand.

“Brittany cut her wrists last weekend. I don’t

believe she intended to take her life, but I defi-

nitely heard the cry for help,” he said. “When I

asked her why, she said, ‘It isn’t like you would

miss me, Dad. You’ve always been so busy with

your career. I’ve felt for a long time that I’m

invisible to you.’”

To his surprise, David quickly discovered he

was far from alone. John’s relationship with his

son Steven hadn’t reached a crisis point, but it

brought its own share of pained conversations

by Bill Farrel

in songwriter Harry Chapin’s haunting hit “Cat’s

in the Cradle.” How did we end up as the second

verse to the story of a man so busy chasing his

dreams he missed connecting with his young son?

The you-can-have-it-all myth had a lot to do

with it. It’s not just the women of our genera-

tion who bought into the idea that they could

have everything, from bringing home the bacon

to frying it in the pan. Men did, too. Many of us

thought we could find fulfillment by building a

career that would provide personal satisfaction

and material goods. We believed in ourselves and

in our pursuits, and we naively hoped our kids

would understand.

They did not.

They wanted us, our interest, and our interaction

— not just our things. They wanted us to believe in

them as much as we believed in our dreams.

Just as in that Harry Chapin song, we’ve

arrived in the second half of our lives and want a

when John urged Steven to look for a job.

Steven’s response? “Why, so I can be like you,

Dad? You have a lot of great stuff, but I want to

have a better relationship with my kids than I

have with you.”

THE HAVE-IT-ALL MYTH The Boomer parenting style was influenced by

our own distant relationships with our fathers,

whose core anthem was brought to painful light

34 MORE LIVING NOVEMBER 2012 NOVEMBER 2012 MORE LIVING 35

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REFILL YOUR EMPTY NESTTHE ADOPTION OPTION Talking About

My Generation 5 Boomer Leaders

Tell It Like It Was (and is)

DO WHAT MATTERSUSE YOUR SKILLS TO SERVE YOUR CHURCH

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56 S E S S I O N 5



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