Visoka skola strukovnih studija za obrazovanje vaspitaca u Aleksincu

Visoka skola strukovnih studija za obrazovanje vaspitaca u Aleksincu

SEMINARSKI RAD Predmet: Engleski jezik Tema: Fairness and consistency in childs upbringing Student: Professor:

Stojanovic Snezana Dr Stanojevic Maja Index No. 1559

Year 2009/2010 Aleksinac CONTENTSIntroduction.....................................................................................

Cosistency.......................................................................................

Fairness...........................................................................................

Citation............................................................................................

Discipline, Punisment and Fairness...............................................

Developmental milestones of kindness(8 months to 12 years).....Conclusion.....................................................................................

INTRODUCTION

The training and upbringing of a child is not an easy and simple task that the parents can perform with little or no effort. This task requires, in fact, delicate handling and temperament. There are myriads of fine points to be considered to achieve success in the efforts. The mentor has to relate himself with the spirit of the child. He cannot perform the task without knowing the spiritual, psychological, educational and practical niceties of the job. A childs world is a world of his own and his imaginations and fantasies will be unique to him. These cannot be compared to the thought process of the adults. The childs spirit will be delicate and will be very impressionable. The child will be a human being in miniature that has not as yet assumed a permanent identity but it has the capability to attain this change. The mentor of the child has to be capable of fathoming and identifying a human being and, also, identifying the mind of the children. He should have a keen eye on the intricacies of the process of upbringing. He should be aware of the human capabilities and failings. He should have sense of responsibility and keen interest in the job on hand. He should be patient and courageous that the hardships dont overpower him. Besides, the rules of training are not rigid and cannot be implemented the same way under different circumstances. In fact these rules have to be modified and applied to each individual child according to his physical make up and mental capabilities. The parents must keenly observe the physical built of the child and educate him keeping this factor in mind. Otherwise, the effort may not bring about the desired result.

From the day the child is born, he begins to learn about the world around him. They learn what they can trust, and what they cannot trust. As children grow, their young minds continue to reprocess the messages that they receive. In order for them to make sense of those messages, they need to be consistent and fair.

CONSISTENCY

When parents are consistent and fair from the start, children learn what they can expect from their parents. This helps in the bonding process. Consistency and fairness gives a child a sense of security. They know when they cry, a caring parent is going to be there with a bottle or ready to change a diaper. Babies with consistent parents experience less anxiety. They learn they can rely on their parents and trust that their needs will be met.

Consistency means samenessthe same rules and consequences over timeConsistency basically means that things are the same from one time to another. Consistency and fairness makes the world predictable and less of a chore to deal with.

Consistency is important with regard to schedules and consistency is important with regard to interactions with people. When a child doesn't know if he has to go to bed when he is told to, there is a lot of thinking and haggling that seems a good idea when involved in fun things. He gets in a lot more arguments and has a lot less brain time and brain space to devote to figuring out life when there is no question about when bedtime is.

When a child knows that dinner is always a certain amount of time after dad comes home and dad always comes home a certain amount of time after Sesame Street ends, her stomach begins to get ready to digest dinner at an optimal time, she knows about how much time she has to play with her toys and instead of using her thinking time and thinking energies on figuring out when dinner might happen, she can use her thoughts and energies on thinking about and figuring out her world in other respects.

She ends up being able to be happier and less stressed and she digests her dinner better -- all because dinner is at a consistent time every day.

Feeling happy and being able to optimally handling life requires a lot of thought. Everyone -- especially children -- function better, learn better, have better interactions with others and and are generally happier people -- when they do not need to spend time and energy on thinking about issues like whether or not directions are optional, when mealtime is, when bedtimes is, what the rules are.

When a child's life is consistent, he or she has more brain to devote to other things Keeping regular routines with a child is also an important part of consistency. Days are less chaotic and arguments more infrequent if a child knows what is expected of them upon rising, after school, or when going to bed. Consistency helps a child develop a sense of responsibility in that they know exactly what is required of them.

Children are also less likely to test boundaries or push limits that are firmly set when they know that there will be consequences for deviant behavior. They learn that no means no. Consistency teaches children cause-and-effect relationships, which helps them as they grow with their ability to make wiser decisions.

FAIRNESS

Fairness is a great part of child upbringing. You're aiming for consequences that feel as natural and strong as physical laws, right? Gravity and inertia are nothing if not consistentthat's why they're laws of nature.Consequences should be applied not based on your moods, biorhythms, or whether the Sox won the game. Consequences and discipline work best when they are consistent and fair.When a parent is consistent and fair in expectations and responses to his or her child, the child more effectively and more rapidly develops values, self-esteem and an understanding of the world. Inconsistent parenting causes confusion, poor self esteem and goofy, sometimes very negative, values. CITATIONThe most difficult politics is bringing about changes in the habits of people." (Ghurar al Hukm, p. 181)Habits settle down upon people. (Ghurar al Hukm, p.580)

Habits become second nature." (Ghurar al Hukm, p.260)

Overcoming bad habits is amongst benevolent invocations." (Ghurar al Hukm, p.176)

Dr. Jalali writes

Whosoever has the responsibility of upbringing a child should occasionally do introspection on his own character and behaviour, realize his responsibilities and try to correct his failings."DISCIPLINE, PUNISHMENT AND FAIRNESSCrossing boundaries is some thing that children do more than we want. Teenagers get out of line as well. In fact kids act like this so much that crossing the line seems like a natural part of growing up and raising kids. When children at any age test the limits, they usually discover what the world allows and expects, what people will tolerate, and what happens when they get out of line. More than cause and effect, children hopefully learn the impact their behavior has on others. And they will hopefully take that into consideration in the future.

What Is Discipline?Family discipline is one word that tries to describe many things. The commonly accepted definition of discipline means to raise, train and teach children. However the word discipline also means to punish. But punishment is a very small part of what we call discipline.

Discipline requires parents to recognize the requirements for successful living and then to create or allow experiences that provide guidance. These experiences should include activities within an emotionally bonded relationship and consequences for a childs behavior. So it is esential to implement fairness in an any disciplinary action .What is Punishment?

The most commonly accepted use of the word punishment means to impose consequences on a child for their actions or their lack of actions. For some people the word punishment conjures up images of spanking a child, inflicting emotional pain or hurting a child in some manner. That is a very old and narrow view. Punishment may involve taking something away from a child such as toys, bicycles, a car or other privileges such as going out in the evening to be with friends. In other cases punishment may involve giving a child additional chores, work or any activity such as completing a second driver education course before they can drive the car again.

Consequences. Discipline based on the "rule of consequences" usually requires the least amount of parental involvement. Using this approach, parents will become more involved when a child does well or when a child gets out of line. For the most part, parents allow society and nature to teach their child what works and what doesnt work.

If you express consistent expectations of children, they develop predictable views of the world. When guiding young children, be consistent and clear with directions and explanations, and of cours be fair. If your requests and reasons are inconsistent, children become confused and unsure about what is expected. When you are consistent with your requests and reasons, children feel safe in exploring the world and trying new things. They feel secure that their caregivers will consistently guide and teach them.

Children learn to care about others when they feel cared for themselves. Young children learn best when they are not frightened or angry. By using guidance based on love and respect, you can help young children become aware of the consequences of their behavior for others.

Research says that harsh physical punishment can hinder the development of positive relationships between children and adults. Reliance on physical discipline weakens children's trust in adults. Physical punishment does not help children learn self-control or understand the connection between unacceptable behavior and discipline. When adults use physical discipline, children feel angry with adults and ashamed of themselves.

Positive guidance blends respect and love for the child with clear messages and understandable reasons. When young children experience consistent and positive guidance, they are more likely to act kindly toward others.

DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES OF KINDNESS(8 m-12 y)

Research has documented the development of kind behavior in children. Although there are differences in how and how often children act kindly toward others, almost all children go through a set sequence of developing kind and caring behavior. For example, some children may cry harder than others when a friend's cat is hit by a car, but almost all children will recognize this as a very sad situation.

AgeCharacteristicExample

8 to 18 MonthsChild can understand that own behavior can make another happy or sad."If I make a silly face at Andrew, he will smile and laugh."

Child can understand adult instructions for kind behavior when words are combined with actions.Adult instructs: "Be gentle with the baby" and softly strokes baby's cheek and neck. Child can understand and imitate adult behavior.

2 to 3 YearsChild begins to show empathic behavior.Child may spontaneously comfort a crying peer.

Child complies more often with adult requests, especially adult requests for socially responsible behavior. Child more willingly takes turns, says, "Please" and "Thank You", and helps clean up at home and in the classroom.

4 to 6 YearsChild starting to recognize concept of fairness.Child starting to recognize concept of fairness. "His piece of cake is bigger than mine!"

Child begins to understand that selfish behavior may be wrong."If I use all of the play dough, no one else with be able to play with it."

Child engages in more kinds of empathic behavior.Child can share, comfort, protect, and encourage.

Child can plan in advance to do something nice for another. "When these winter clothes are too small, I can give them to someone who doesn't have enough winter clothes."

6 to 12 YearsChild can take perspective of another and can recognize possible reasons for another's feelings and actions."Jason is the new kid this year. I wonder if he's lonely because he hasn't made new friends yet?""LaDonna is sad because her grandma just died."

Child can understand right from wrong and think about what might happen after doing something wrong."Cheating during a game of checkers is wrong.""If I cheat and win the game, I might feel guilty."

With adult assistance, child can recognize the implications of his/her own behavior for another."If I don't invite Felicia to my party, she might feel left out."

Child begins to develop internalized kind behavior. Child can engage in kind behavior without encouragement and prompting from adults.Child may try to "right a wrong" action, child experiences guilt without adult intervention, child may confess to a wrong behavior, child may apologize without being told.

Kids thrive on routine and a balance of activities in their family life. Too many children

spend most of their time on one activity. If its not the TV (babysitter!), they are spending five

days a week at ballet or soccer lessons because they have to be a star. Overemphasis on

competitive activities teaches kids wrong values and robs them of their ability to enjoy lifes simple pleasures.

Carve out routines that balance all the needs of your children: physical (sports) but also

spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and social.

Balance can mean different sports and physical activities, reading and crafts, going to

cultural or spiritual activities and sharing in family fun as well as school work. Stability is

found in routine and family patterns that kids can rely on. When these are in place, the world is a reliable place for them, and they feel happier.

CONCLUSION

Its true: youll turn around one day, and children will be young adults. Parenting, though, never stops. Theres never an age to stop praising, encouraging or listening to your child.

Children need models Optimism is the faith that

rather than critics. leads to achievement

Nothing can be done without

Joseph Joubert hope and confidence.

French Philosopher Helen Keller

If you do the best you can, you

will find, nine times out of ten,

that you have done as well as or

better than anyone else.

William Feather

BIBLIOGRAPHY

-Internet

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