Self Improvement Small

8/2/2019 Self Improvement Small

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Character and Speech

"The best of you is the one who has the

best character." (Bukhari)

..No-one is a perfect believer until theywish for their brother what they wish for

themselves. (Bukhari, Muslim)

He is of the most perfect Muslims, whose

disposition is most liked by his own

family.

"Kindness is a mark of faith, and whoever

is not kind has no faith." (Muslim)

"Make things easy and do not make thingsdifficult. Calm people and do not arouse

their aversion/dislike." (Bukhari)


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Those who are merciful have mercy

shown on them by the CompassionateOne, if you show mercy to those who are

in the earth, He Who is in heaven will

show mercy to you.

(Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi).

"You shall not enter Paradise so long as

you do not affirm belief; and you will not

believe as long as you do not love one

another. (Muslim)

"Beware of suspicion. Suspicion is themost untrue speech. Do not spy and do

not eavesdrop. Do not compete with each

other and do not envy each other and do

not hate each other and do not shun each

other. Be slaves of God, brothers."(Muslim)


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"Whoever listens to people's conversation

against their wishes will be punished byliquid lead being poured down their ears

on the Day of Judgement". (Bukhari)

"The believer who mixes with people and

endures their injury is better than the

person who does not mix with people nor

endure their injury." (Bukhari) (enduring

peoples injury: accepting patiently their

misbehaviours.)

Three God loves [one of them is] a manwho has a neighbour who harasses him

and who is patient with his neighbour's

torments until they are separated by

death or journey. (Sahih by Ahmad)

"A believer is the repository of love. There

is no goodness in a man who does not

have love for anyone nor does anyone

love him." (Ahmad, Baihaqi).


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The Prophet (peace be upon him) receivedJa'far ibn AbuTalib, embraced him and

kissed him between both of his eyes

(forehead). (Abu Dawud)

Beware of hatred, for it is the razor. I do

not tell you that it shaves the hair, but it

shaves away the Deen (the religion/ way

of life)." (Bukhari)

Smiling in the face of your brother is a

charity. (Tirmidhi)

If one keeps apart from his brother for a

year, it is like shedding his blood. (Abu

Dawud) (In Islam, brother does not only

mean sibling by blood, but siblings in faith,in the belief of One God and One

Humanity, and this is a very real

relationship that is in many cases thicker

than blood (although God has ordained

that in some laws, such as inheritance,


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civil rights and kindness to parents, the

laws of blood take preference). Thisbrotherhood amongst Muslims in no way

implies that not being a Muslim makes

one less than human, just like having

blood-related siblings does not mean that

anyone outside of the blood-related

family is not a worthy and equal human.

The brotherhood and equality of humanity

is completely in place. However, the

Prophet (peace be upon him) was

addressing an audience of Muslims, and

was instilling in them the concept of unityand brotherhood, so most of his teachings

contain the word brother and Muslim.

This absolutely does not mean that the

teachings exclude non-Muslims. The

behaviour of the Prophet (peace be uponhim) and his followers showed that these

teachings are universal, for everyone.

Even enemies who had murdered his

relatives, attempted his assassination

several times, and destroyed Muslim lives


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for several years, received the most noble

levels of treatment and care.)

The actions of people are presented

twice each week, on Monday and

Thursday. Every trusting slave is forgiven

except for a slave who has enmity

between him and his brother. It is said,

'Leave these two until they turn in

repentance. Leave these two until they

turn in repentance.' (Muslim)

Should I not direct you to a thing which,if you do, will foster love amongst you?

Spread as-salamu alaykum (the greeting of

peace be upon you)" (Muslim)

When a man loves his brother, he shouldtell him that he loves him. (Abu Dawud)

It is unlawful to inflict harm upon

yourself and others. (Mustadrak al-

Hakim)


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"A man who is known for his good

character has the same degree assomeone who stands at night in

prayer."(Bukhari)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: I

guarantee a house in the surroundings of

Paradise for a man who avoids quarrelling

even if he were in the right, a house in the

middle of Paradise for a man who avoids

lying even if he were joking, and a house

in the upper part of Paradise for a man

who made his character good. (AbuDawud)

If anyone has four characteristics, he is a

pure hypocrite, and if anyone has one of

them, he has an aspect of hypocrisy untilhe gives it up: whenever he is trusted, he

betrays his trust; whenever he speaks, he

lies; when he makes an agreement, he

breaks it; & when he quarrels, he deviates


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from the truth, speaking falsely.(Bukhari

& Muslim)

No [believer] veils another in this world

without God veiling him on the Day of

Rising." (Muslim) (To veil one another

means to hide and protect and not expose

the flaws or faults of one another, just as

we try to hide our own faults.)

He who has done a wrong affecting his

brother's honour, or anything else, must

ask for his forgiveness for it now before hewill have neither dinar or dirham. If he has

any good deed to his credit it would be

out of his credit that the measure of his

wrongdoing would be deducted, but if he

has done no good deeds it will be takenfrom the other's evil deeds and laid upon

him. (Bukhari). (Dinars and dirhams are a

currency. Referring to the time of having

no dinar or dirham means the Last Day

when no worldly wealth will be any use to


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us, the only thing that will matter will be

our deeds, whether they were good orbad.)

Say to My servants that they should

(only) say those things that are best: for

Satan does sow dissensions among them:

For Satan is to man an avowed enemy.

(Quran: 17:53)

"The Muslim is the brother of the Muslim.

He should not wrong him nor surrender

him to his enemy. God will take care ofthe needs of anyone who takes care of the

needs of his brother. On the Day of Rising

God will dispel the anxiety of anyone who

dispels the anxiety of another Muslim. On

the Day of Rising God will veil anyone whoveils another Muslim." (Bukhari)

"You can only have envy for two things:

for a man to whom God has given wealth

which he spends for the truth, and for a


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man to whom God has given wisdom and

he acts by it and teaches it." [Agreedupon]

A man asked the Messenger of God,

may God bless him and grant him peace,

"What is backbiting?" The Messenger of

God, peace be upon him, said, "It is to

mention about a man what he does not

want to hear." He said, "Messenger of

God, even if it is true?" The Messenger of

God, peace be upon him, said, "If you

utter something false, then it is slander."(Imam Malik)

When we backbite, we lose our good

deeds to the person we are injuring, and if

we have lost all our good deeds, we beginto take from their record of bad deeds.


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O you who believe! Avoid most suspicion.

Indeed some suspicion is a crime. And donot spy and do not backbite one another.

Would any of you like to eat his brother's

dead flesh? No, you would hate it. And

show fear of God. God is Ever-Returning,

Most Merciful. O you who believe! Let not

a group scoff at another group, it may be

that the latter are better than the former;

nor let (some) women scoff at other

women, it may be that the latter are

better than the former, nor defame one

another, nor insult one another bynicknames. How bad is it, to insult one's

brother after having Faith. And whosoever

does not repent, then such are indeed

Wrong-doers." (Quran: 49:11-12)

(God equates backbiting to eating that

persons flesh when dead. We never know

what the true status is of anyone in the

sight of God, it may be that those whom

we are backbiting have done a single done


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act of sincerity that God loves more than

anything weve done in our own lives.)

"Woe to every fault-finding back-biter"

(Quran: 104:1)

A tale-bearer will not enter the

Garden/Paradise. (Bukhari) (a person

who carries tales/news or rumours, a

tattle-tale, gossiper.)

Do not be a people without a will of your

own saying: If others treat well you willalso treat well and if they do wrong we

will do wrong, but accustom yourselves

to do good if people do good and do not

do wrong if they do evil.

(Tirmidhi).

A man came to the Prophet (may the

blessings and peace of God be upon him)

and said: O Messenger of God, direct me

to an act which, if I do it, [will cause] God


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to love me and people to love me. The

Prophet (peace be upon him) said:Renounce the world and God will love

you, and renounce what people possess

and people will love you.

(Ibn Majah).

When a man tells something and then

departs it is trust. (Muslim) (ie: whatever

has been told by another person should

be treated as confidential: do not tell

others.)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) held his

tongue between his fingers, and then he

said: "Restrain this." Muadh said, "Oh

Prophet of God, are we accountable for

what we say?" He replied Is thereanything more than the harvest of the

tongues that throws people on their faces

(or he said 'on their noses') into the Fire?"


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What is meant here by 'the harvest of the

tongues' is the punishment for sayingforbidden things. A man, through his

actions and words, sows the seeds of

either good or evil. On the Day of

Resurrection he harvests their fruits.

Those who sow the seeds of good words

and deeds harvest honour and blessings;

those who sow the seeds of evil words

and deeds reaponly regret and remorse.

Of course, many times God also lets us

taste the harvest of our deeds right here

in this life. Backbiting is one of those sinswhose harvest is reaped also on earth.

"What mostly causes people to be sent to

the Fire are the two openings: the mouth

and the private parts." (Abu Hurayra)

"The servant speaks words, the

consequences of which he does not

realize, and for which he is sent down into


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the depths of the Fire further than the

distance between the east and the west."

"Everything the children of Adam say goes

against them, except for their enjoining

good and forbidding evil, and

remembering God..." (Tirmidhi)

"A person will not feel greater fury or

anger for any part of his body on the Day

of Judgement more than what he will feel

for his tongue, unless he only used it for

saying or enjoining good." (said Ibn Abbas)

What actions are most excellent? To

gladden the heart of human beings, to

feed the hungry, to help the afflicted, to

lighten the sorrow of the sorrowful, and toremove the sufferings of the injured.

(Bukhari)


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And the good deed and the evil deed will

never be equal; O listener! Repel the evildeed with a good one, thereupon the one

between whom and you was enmity, will

become like a close friend. (34) And none

receive this great treasure except those

who are patient; and none receives this

except one who is extremely fortunate.

(35) And O listener! If a distracting

thought from the devil reaches you, seek

the refuge of God; indeed He is the All

Hearing, the All Knowing.(36) (Quran:41)

They (the Bedouins) said, 'Messenger of

God, what is the best thing that a man can

be given?' 'Good character,' he replied.

(Bukhari)

"No two shall exchange whispers in the

presence of a third person". (Abu Dawud)
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"If you were three, two of you should not

whisper to each other till you join otherpeople, lest the third feel offended".

Abdullah Ibn Umar was asked; "What if

they are four?" "Then this doesn't

matter", he answered; meaning it is not

then offensive (in a crowd).

"Beware of suspicion, for speaking on the

basis of suspicion is the worst kind of lie.

Do not seek out one another's faults, do

not spy on one another, do not compete

with one another, do not envy oneanother, do not hate one another, and do

not turn away from one another. O

servants of God, be brothers."

To harbour good thoughts (aboutanother person) is a part of well-

conducted worship. (Ahmad).

If a friend among your friends errs, make

seventy excuses for them. If your hearts


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are unable to do this, then know that the

shortcoming is in your own selves. (saidImam Bayhaqi) (ie. think of

excuses/justifications for their error, like

you do for your ownselves.)

The way of purity and sincerity is to look

at everyonefriend and foewith the eye

of sincere concern and mercy. The

Messenger of God (peace be upon him)

said that, Religion is sincere concern.

Be considerate and forgiving. Do you notwant God to forgive you? God is All-

forgiving and All-merciful. (Quran: 24: 21)

"A truthful and trustworthy merchant is

associated with the prophets.." (Tirmidhi)


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"Do not envy one another, do not outbid

one another (in order to inflate prices), donot hate one another, do not turn away

from one another, and do not enter into a

transaction when others have already

entered into it. O servants of God, be

brothers. A Muslim is the brother of a

Muslim. He does not oppress him,

humiliate him or look down upon him.

God-consciousness is here" - and so

saying, he pointed to his chest three

times. "It is evil enough for a man to look

down upon his Muslim brother. The wholeof a Muslim's being is sacred to another

Muslim - his blood, his wealth and his

honor are inviolable."

The Prophet, may God bless him andgrant him peace, instructed us to do seven

things and forbade us seven. He

mentioned visiting the sick, joining funeral

processions, blessing the sneezer,

returning the greeting, helping the


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wronged, accepting invitations, and

fulfilling oaths/pledges." (Bukhari)

The example of the value of this world in

comparison to the Hereafter is as if you

dip a finger in the ocean and then pull it

out. So see how much water sticks to it.

(Muslim) (So use material things for living

and to do good, but do not get attached

to them.)

Jesus, son of Mary, peace be upon them,

used to say, "Do not speak much withoutmentioning God because you will harden

your hearts. A hard heart is far from God,

but you do not know. Do not look at the

wrong actions of people as if you were

lords. Look to your wrong actions as if youwere slaves. Some people are afflicted by

wrong action and some people are

protected from it. Be merciful to the

people of affliction and praise God for His

protection." (Muwatta, Imam Malik)


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Certain people [] begged of Gods

Messenger and he gave them; then theyagain begged of him and he gave them

until all that he possessed was finished.

Then the Prophet said, Whatever wealth

I have, I will not withhold from you.

Whosoever would be chaste and modest;

God will keep him chaste and modest and

whosoever would seek self-sufficiency,

God will make him self-sufficient; and

whosoever would be patient, God will give

him patience, and no one is granted a gift

better and more comprehensive thanpatience. (Al-Bukhri and Muslim)

try to pass your mornings and evenings

in a state where your heart is free from all

ill feelings, jealousy and hatred foreveryone, and remember that this is my

Sunnah (habit), and he who loves my

Sunnah will be with me in Paradise (at-

Tirmidhi)


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"Do you know what is better than charity

and fasting and prayer? It is keepingpeace and good relations between people,

as quarrels and bad feelings destroy

mankind." (Muslims & Bukhari)

The Dua (prayer) of a person for his

Muslim brother in his absence will be

answered. At his head there is an angel,

and every time he prays for him for

something good, the angel who has been

appointed to be with him, says, 'Ameen,

may you have likewise.' (Muslim)

Abu Hamdun (from one of the

generations following the Prophet (peace

be upon him)) had a scroll on which was

written the names of three hundred of hisclose friends, and he used to pray for

them one by one every single night.-

Sifat al-Safwah 1/492


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"You have two characters which God likes;

gentleness and deliberation." (Muslim)."Verily, God is mild and is fond of

mildness, and He gives to the mild what

He does not give to the harsh." (Muslim)

"One who lacks kindness of heart lacks all

good." (Muslim)

"God is gentle and loves gentleness in all

things." (Bukhari and Muslim)

There is not a Muslim that visits anotherin the morning except that 70,000 angels

ask forgiveness for him until the night, and

if he visits him at night then 70,000 angels

ask forgiveness for him until the morning,

and he will have earned a garden in

paradise (At-Tirmidhi).

Whoever visited a sick person does not

cease to swim in mercy until he returns


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home, if he was to sit down he would be

immersed in it. (Muwatta of Ibn Malik)

The Prophet, (peace be upon him), said,

"A believer in respect of another believer

is like a building whose parts support one

another." And he intertwined his fingers.

(Bukhari)

You are sons of Adam, and Adam came

from dust. Let the people cease to boast

about [their] ancestors. (Abu Dawud) (ie.

we are all equal and of humble origin)

"The believing men and women are

associates and helpers of each other. They

(collaborate) to promote all that is

beneficial and discourage all that is evil; to

establish prayers and give charity, and to

obey God and His Messenger. Those are

the people whom God would grant

mercy" (Quran, 71)


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"Do not dispute with your brother. Do not

make fun of him. Do not make a promiseto him and then break it."(Bukhari)

A complete believer is he from whose

tongue and hand (actions) his fellow

Muslims are safe.

(Bukhari & Muslim)

He who fulfils a need of a person in order

to give him pleasure, has given me

pleasure; whoever has given me pleasure

has given God pleasure, He will give him

Paradise." (Baihaqi).

God says: "My slaves! I have forbidden

injustice for Myself and I have made it

forbidden among you, so do not wrong

(be unjust with) one another. (Bukhari)

He who believes in God and the Last Day

should honour his guest; he who believes

in God and the Last Day should not annoy

his neighbours; and he who believes in


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God and the Last Day should say what is

good or keep quiet. (Bukhari, Muslim).

The worst of people is the one who other

people avoid, fearing his coarseness.

(Bukhari)

"The young greets the old, the one

walking the one who is sitting, and the

small group greets the larger group."

(Bukhari)

"Shall I tell you who is unlawful for theFire (Hell) - or the one for whom the Fire is

unlawful? It is unlawful for everyone who

is easy, flexible, modest and

uncomplicated." (Tirmidhi) (being

unlawful for the Fire means those forwhom God has made it unlawful for Hell

to touch them)

"Whenever a Muslim visits a sick brother

(Muslim) or merely goes to meet his


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brother, then God says: 'You are holy;

your walking is holy; you have arrangedyour abode in Paradise.'" (Tirmidhi)

A man asked the Prophet, may God bless

him and grant him peace, 'Which part of

Islam is best?' He answered, "That you

feed people and greet those whom you

know and those whom you do not know."

(Bukhari)

"The learned are heirs of the prophets,

and the prophets do not leave any

inheritance in the form of (monetarywealth), but they do leave knowledge as

their legacy. A person who acquires

knowledge, acquires his full share (of this

legacy)." (Riyad us-Saliheen)

Thabit al-Bunani related from Anas ibn

Malik that he passed by some children

and greeted them and said, "The Prophet,


used to do that." (Bukhari)


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"Son, if you are able, keep your heart...

free from malice toward anyone."(Tirmidhi)

Al-Bara' said, "A bedouin came and said,

'Prophet of God! Teach me an action

which will enable me to enter the Garden.'

He said, "The question is a broad one,

even though you have asked it in only a

few words. Free someone. Set a slave

free.' He said, 'Are they not the same

thing?' 'No,' he replied, 'Freeing someone

is setting someone free yourself. Setting aslave free is to contribute to the price of

setting him free. Lend an animal for

milking which has a lot of milk and treat

your relatives kindly. If you cannot do

that, then command the good and forbidthe bad. If you cannot do that, then

restrain your tongue from everything

except what is good."(Bukhari)


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You must be compassionate. Whenever

there is compassion in something, itbeautifies it, and when it is removed from

something it disgraces it." (Bukahri) (The

Prophet (peace be upon him) said this in

response to his wife Aisha. A group of

people nearby insulted and mocked the

Prophet (peace be upon him) but he did

not retaliate, and Aisha (may God be

pleased with her) wished he would

respond to their false accusations and

correct them.)

Ibn 'Abbas said, "The Messenger of God,


said, ' Teach and make it easy. Teach and

make it easy.' three times. He went on,

'When you are angry, be silent' twice."(Bukhari)


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"When you are told: 'Make room in the

gathering,' then make room and God willmake room for you! And when it is said,

'Get up,' then get up ..." (Quran: 58:11)

If anyone gets up from where he has

been sitting and comes back, he has no

right to it.

(Muslim).

The Prophet (pbuh) forbade anyone to

wipe his hand on the garment of anyone

whose clothing he had not himself

provided. (Abu Dawud)

Mercy is only removed from the one who

is destined for wretchedness. (Bukhari)

"Give good news, guide people and drawnear to one another. (Bukhari)

There is no good in most of their private

conversations, except in the case of those

who enjoin charity and kindness, or


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reconciliation between people. If anyone

does that, seeking the pleasure of God,We will give him an immense reward.

(Quran:4:114)

"One day a man became very thirsty while

walking down the road. He came across a

well, went down into it, and drank and

then climbed out. In front of him he found

a dog panting, eating the dust out of

thirst. The man said, 'This dog is as thirsty

as I was.' He went back down into the well

and filled his shoe, putting it into hismouth (holding it between his teeth to

carry it while climbing back up) and then

gave the dog water. Therefore God

thanked him and forgave him." (Bukhari)

"Two people are truly ungrateful: a person

whom you give advice to and he hates you

for it, and a person who is favoured with a

seat in a tight place and he sits crossed
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legged (taking up extra space)" (said Ibn

Araabi)

Anas ibn Malik said, "The Prophet, may

God bless him and grant him peace, was

the most merciful of people towards

members of his family. He had his son

(Ibrahim) suckled in part of Madina and

the husband of his wet-nurse was a

blacksmith. We used to go to him and the

house would be full of smoke from the

bellows. He would kiss the child and take

him in his lap."(Bukhari)

"Show mercy and you will be shown

mercy. Forgive and God will forgive you.

Woe to the vessels that catch words (i.e.

the ears). Woe to those who persist andconsciously continue in what they are

doing."(Bukhari)


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Warrad, the scribe of al-Mughira ibn

Shu'ba, said, "Mu'awiya wrote to al-Mughira ibn Shu'ba, saying, 'Write down

for me something which you heard the

Messenger of God, may God bless him and

grant him peace.' Al-Mughira wrote to

him, ' The Messenger of God, may God

bless him and grant him peace, used to

forbid gossip, wasting money, asking too

many questions, refusing to give,

disobedience to parents and burying

daughters alive." (Asking too many

questions is directed at those who do sonot to sincerely gain knowledge, but to

create unnecessary objections, waste time

in useless details, or go against discipline

and authority.)

He does not belong to us who does not

show mercy to our young ones and

respect to our elder ones, who does not

recommend what is good and prohibit

what is disreputable. (Tirmidhi)


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"I stand for praying, and I intend to makeit long. I hear a baby crying. So, I

shorten it, as I dislike making it

unbearable for the mother. (Bukhari)

The best house among the Muslims is the

one which contains an orphan who is well

treated, and the worst house among the

Muslims is the one which contains an

orphan who is badly treated. (Ibn Majah).

Touch an orphan's head and feed the

poor. (Ahmad)

"I and the one who takes responsibility for

an orphan, whether his own kin or of

others, will be in Paradise thus," and he

pointed his forefinger and the middlefinger with a slight space between them.

(Bukhari) (Meaning: if our hearts and

deeds in this world are good enough, we

will be companions of the Prophet (peace

be upon him) in Paradise. This means a lot


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for those who love him. Muslims are

required to love God and His Truth and HisMessenger above all else, including their

own lives, since love is one of the most

powerful and motivating human

emotions. Therefore we should love the

highest levels of Truth, Justice and Mercy.

Being motivated by anything less will

cause us to fall short of our best or spread

evil/injustice on Earth.)

"The one who looks after and works for a

widow and for a poor person, is like awarrior fighting for God's Cause or like a

person who fasts during the day and prays

all the night." (Narrated bu Abu Huraira)

"Look at those who stand at a lower levelthan you but don't look at those who

stand at a higher level than you, for this

would make the favours (conferred upon

you by God) insignificant (in your eyes)."

(Muslim) (If we start being thankful for


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what we have, we will have no time to

complain about what we think is missing.We do not know that God in His Mercy

and Wisdom did not want us to have what

we think we are missing, for our own

good. Maybe our patience during the

hardship is a means of attaining a high

rank in Paradise!)

"Wondrous are the believer's affairs. For

him there is good in all his affairs, and this

is so only for the believer. When

something pleasing happens to him, he isgrateful, and that is good for him; and

when something displeasing happens to

him, he is patient, and that is good for

him." (Muslim) (In other words, it is a win-

win situation, because there is blessingand merit in everything that happens in a

believers life. Patience in hardship is

rewarded; thankfulness in fortune is

rewarded.)


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The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: I

have only been sent to perfect goodmanners. (Bukhri).

A mischief maker will not enter

Paradise. (Bukhari, Muslim).

"He knows you very well, since He

created you from clay, and when you

were foetuses in your mothers wombs.

So do not claim purity for yourselves. He

knows best those who have fear of Him.

(Quran: 53: 32) (No-one may think theyare better than others. Only God knows

who is better than whom, since only God

knows with absolute certainty what is and

what will be in peoples hearts. Humans

have no such certainty and hence no rightto look down on others.)

Narated By Anas ibn Malik : I never saw

that when any man brought his mouth to

the ear of the Prophet of God (peace be


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upon him), he withdrew his head until the

man himself withdrew his head, and Inever saw that when any man took him by

his hand that (the Prophet (peace be upon

him)) withdrew his hand, until the man

himself withdrew his hand. (Abu Dawud)

(ie. The Prophet (peace be upon him was

never the first one to leave a handshake

or a hug.)

"Do not rejoice in the misfortunes of your

brother. For God may show him

compassion and create difficulties foryou" (Tirmidhi)

If you guarantee me six things on your

part, I shall guarantee you paradise: speak

the truth when you talk, keep a promisewhen you make it, when you are trusted

with something fulfil your trust, avoid

sexual immorality, lower your eyes and

restrain your hand from injustice.

(Baihaqi).


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God has revealed to me that you must behumble, so that no one boasts over

another, or oppresses another. (Muslim)

Anas said reported, The Messenger of God

(peace be upon him) said: "Do not hate

one another and be not jealous of one

another and do not boycott one another,

and be servants of God (as) brethren; and

it is not lawful for a Muslim that he should

sever his relations with his brother for

more than three days." (Bukhari).

"It is not lawful for a Muslim to break his

ties with another Muslim for more than

three days, in such a way that when they

meet, the one turns his face one way andthe one other turns his face the other

way. The better of these two is the one

who makes Salaam (greeting) first."

(Bukhari, Muslim).


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The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: It

is not allowable for a believer to keepfrom a believer for more than three days.

If three days pass, he should meet him

and give him a salutation, and if he replies

to it they will both have shared in the

reward; but if he does not reply he will

bear his sin and the one who gives the

salutation will have come forth from the

sin of keeping apart. (Abu Dawud)

(This breaking of ties is referring to the

intentional cutting off, ignoring, out ofanger, or hatred of some sort, not the

natural parting due to distance, busy lives,

etc)

Avoid envy, for envy devours good deedsjust as fire devours fuel. (Abu Dawud)

"Amongst the beautiful (characteristics) of

a person's Islam is that he pays no heed to

that which does not concern him."-


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Tirmidhi (ie. minds his own business,

doesnt gossip or care about other things.)

Modesty is part of faith and faith is in

Paradise, but obscenity is part of hardness

of heart and hardness of heart is in Hell.

(Ahmad, Tirmidhi).

God will not show mercy to him who

does not show mercy to others. (Bukhari,

Muslim).

He is not of us who does not show mercyto our little ones and respect to our elder

ones.

(Tirmidhi, Mishkat).

Wealth does not mean having a lot ofproperty. Wealth means having

contentment. (Bukhari)

"If you are given health and security from

evil in this world and the next, you have

attained felicity." (Tirmidhi)


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Believers are to one another like abuilding whose parts support one other."

He then interlaced his fingers. (Bukhari,

Muslim). (He interlaced them to show

how close believers are to one another.)

Anas said, "I served the Prophet, may God

bless him and grant him peace, for twenty

years. He never said 'uff' to me and he

never said about anything I had not done,

'Why didn't you do it?' or about

something I had done. 'Why did you dothat?'" (Bukhari)

Jabir said, "The Prophet, may God bless

him and grant him peace, was never asked

for anything to which he said,'No.'"(Bukhari)

"The dust of the path of God and the

smoke of Hellfire are never joined

together in the heart of a slave. Belief and


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greed are never joined together in the

heart of a slave." (Bukhari)

"Two qualities are not found together in a

believer: miserliness and ill-

temper."(Bukhari)

God loves His poor, believing servant

who refrains from begging and yet has

children. (Ibn Majah).

Consider how a matter will turn out; than

if you think its issue will be good carry onwith it, but if you fear going astray hold

back. (Sharra-as-Sunna)

Not a word does he (or she) utter but

there is a watcher by him ready (to recordit) (Quran: 50: 18)

Imam al-Shaafai: if a person wants to say

something, he should think about it: if it

seems to him that it will not do any harm,


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then he should speak, but if he thinks that

it will do some harm or he thinks that thisis most likely, then he should refrain from

speaking.

There is no harm in wealth for someone

who has God-consciousness, but health

for the person who has consciousness iseven better than wealth. Cheerfulness is a

blessing." (Bukhari)

"A believer is the mirror of his brother. A

believer is the brother of another believer.He protects him against loss and defends

him behind his back." (Bukhari)

If you search for the faults of the people,

you will corrupt them, or will nearly

corrupt them. (Abu Dawood) (ie. do not

be looking for flaws in others.)

Jarir said, "Since the time I became

Muslim, the Messenger of God, may God


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bless him and grant him peace, never saw

me without smiling at me." (Bukhari)

Moses' son Imran said, "My Lord, who is

the greatest of Thy servant in Thy

estimation?" and received the reply, "The

one who forgives when he is in a position

of power. (Baihaqi) (ie. when he had

capability to take revenge.)

Fear God wherever you are, and follow

up a bad deed with a good deed and it will

wipe it out, and behave well towardspeople. (Tirmidhi).

At evening do not expect [to live till]

morning, and at morning do not expect

[till] evening. Take from your health foryour illness and from your life for your

death. (Bukhari) (i.e. when in good health

you are able to perform your duties well

take advantage of this. The same applies

to the state of being alive.)


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Avoid three abominable acts (that is, the

one who does them is cursed by God and

by the people): defecating in streams,

defecating on roadways, and defecating in

shaded places. Cleanliness invites towards

faith, and faith leads its possessor to the

Garden. (Tabarani).

On the day of Resurrection, God will not

look at the person who trails his robe

behind him out of pride. (Bukhari,Muslim).

Anyone who has an atom of pride in his

heart will not enter the Garden. (Muslim)

Pride is to reject the truth and to view

other people with contempt. (Abu

Dawud)


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Do not stand up as the Persians do, some

people honouring the others. (AbuDawud, Ibn Majah).

(It is a sin and arrogance to feel in ones

heart that others should stand up in

honour of oneself, or that one should be

seated above others. All humans are equal

in humanity and in their humble reality

that they are sustained and given life not

by their own power but by God, the Only

True Power. And the Prophet Muhammad

(peace be upon him) would sit on the

ground with his companions, so that if aperson entering a room did not already

know him, they would not be able to

distinguish him from the others; he sat

with them equally.)

No one was more beloved to the

Companions than the Prophet (peace be

upon him). When they saw him they did

not stand up, knowing he would not

approve of it. (Shamail Tirmidhi)


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Being confined for room, the Messengerof God sat down upon his legs drawn up

under his thighs. A desert Arab who was

present said, "What is this way of sitting?"

Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,

"Verily God has made me a humble

servant, and not a proud king."

If people wanted to join him while he was

on his riding animal, he would offer them

a seat with him or let them ride while he

walked. If they refused, he would be tooembarrassed to see them on foot while he

rode, so he would request them to go

ahead and wait for him at the meeting

place.

"And be moderate in your pace, and lower

your voice; for the harshest of sounds

without doubt is the braying of the ass."

(Quran: Luqman: 19)


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Each one of you is a caretaker and is

responsible for those under his care.(Bukhari, Muslim).

The worst person is someone who is two-

faced. He is the person who comes to one

group of people with one face and

another group of people with another

face. (Bukhari)

The person who has two faces in this

world will have two tongues of the Fire on

the Day of Rising. (Bukhari)

A man came to the Prophet, may God

bless him and grant him peace, and made

a pledge to him that he would do hijra

(migration). He left his parents who were

in tears. The Prophet said, 'Go back tothem and make them laugh as you made

them weep.' (Bukhari)

The souls of two believers should meet in

the course of a day even if they do not


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actually see each other. (Bukhari) (ie.

remember or pray for each other)Umm ad-Darda' said, "Abu'd-Darda' stood

up in the night to pray. He was weeping

and said, 'O God! You made my physical

form good, so make my character good!'

until morning. I said, 'Abu'd-Darda', your

only supplication for the entire night was

for good character!' He replied, 'Umm ad-

Darda', the Muslim makes his character

good with the result that his good

character takes him into the Garden. He

makes his character bad with the resultthat his bad character takes him into the

Fire. The Muslim is forgiven while he is

asleep.' I asked, 'Abu'd-Darda', how can be

forgiven while he is asleep?' He said, 'His

brother arises in the night and performsthe night prayers and makes supplication

to God Almighty and is answered. He

makes supplication for Muslim brother

and his request is answered.'"


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Someone who makes peace betweenpeople by saying something good or

relates something good is not a liar.

(Bukhari)

Abu'd-Darda' reported that the Prophet,


said, "Shall I tell you a degree better than

prayer, fasting and charity?" "Yes," they

replied. He went to say, Improving a

state of friendship. Causing discord in a

state of friendship is what shaves thingsaway." (Bukhari)

Fear God and put things right between

you. (Quran: 8:1) (ie. believers in God

should fear His Displeasure, and strive tocorrect the problems/relations amongst

people. Let the people be ruled by God

and not their own egos.)


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God commands justice and doing good

and giving to relatives. And He forbidsindecency and doing wrong and tyranny.

He warns you so that hopefully you will

pay heed. (Quran: 16: 90)

"It is great treachery to tell something to

your brother so that he believes you when

you are lying to him."(Bukhari)

"A man visited a brother of his in a village,

so God put an angel in wait for him on the

road. He asked, 'Where are you going?' Hereplied, 'To a brother of mine in this

village.' He said, 'Is he responsible for

some blessing you have?' He said, 'No, I

love him for God.' He said, 'I am a

messenger of God to you. God loves youas you love him.'" (ie. the angel asked if he

was going to visit another person out of

expectation of being given something,

rather than out of pure selfless good will.)


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Gods Messenger, peace be upon him,

said, Help your brother, whether he is anoppressor or is being oppressed. People

asked, O Gods Messenger! We help the

one being oppressed but how do we help

an oppressor? The Prophet said, By

seizing his hand (preventing him from the

sin ofoppression). (Bukhari)

But if you trust one another, then let him

who is trusted fulfill his trust, and let him

be conscious of God, his Sustainer.

(Quran: Al-Baqarah 2:283)

"Be not like the hypocrite who, when he

talks, tells lies; when he gives a promise,

he breaks it; and when he is trusted, he

proves treacherous." (Bukhari & Muslim)

"It is better to sit alone than in company

with the bad; and it is better still to sit

with the good than alone. It is better to

speak to a seeker of knowledge than to


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remain silent; but silence is better than

idle words." (Bukhari)

Do not pursue material things too much

or else you will be absorbed by the

world. (Tirmidhi)

Your love for a thing causes blindness

and deafness. (Abu Dawud)

Whoever recommends and helps a good

cause becomes a partner in it: and

whoever recommends and helps an evilcause, shares in its burden: And God has

power over everything. (Qur'an:4:85)

A bedouin urinated in the mosque and

they went for him. (People rushed to graband stop him). The Messenger of God,

peace be upon him said, "Let him finish."

Then he called for a bucket of water and

poured it over it. (Bukhari) (Even though

the man was urinating in a clean place of


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worship, the Prophet (peace be upon him)

did not disturb him but washed after him,and told him nicely later that the mosque

is not a place to urinate. Muslims are

required to love the Prophet (peace be

upon him), in order to learn and take

inspiration from him and be able to

imitate his beautiful characteristics and

manners. Love is a natural prerequisite to

sincerity.)

Husayn, the grandson of the Prophet

(peace be upon him) asked his fatherabout the behaviour of the Prophet in his

gatherings. He replied,

The Messenger was always happy and

easy mannered. There was always a smileand a sign of happiness on his blessed

face. He was soft-natured and when the

people needed his approval, he easily

gave consent. He did not speak in a harsh

tone nor was he stony-hearted. He did not


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scream while speaking, nor was he rude or

spoke indecently. He did not seek other'sfaults. He never overpraised anything nor

exceeded in joking, nor was he a miser. He

kept away from undesirable language and

did not make as if he did not hear

anything. If he did not agree with the next

person's wish he did not make that person

feel disheartened, nor did he promise

anything to that person. He completely

kept himself away from three things: from

arguments, pride and senseless

utterances. He prohibited people fromthree things. He did not disgrace or insult

anyone, nor look for the faults of others,

he only spoke that from which reward

was attained. When he spoke, those

present bowed their heads in such amanner, as if birds were sitting on their

heads. (They did not shift about, as birds

will fly away on the slightest move). When

he completed his talks, the others would

begin speaking. (No one would speak


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while he spoke. Whatever one wanted to

say, it would be said after he hadcompleted speaking). They did not argue

before him regarding anything. Whenever

one spoke to him the other would keep

quiet and listen till he would finish. The

speech of every person was as if the first

person was speaking. (They gave attention

to what every person said. It was not as is

generally found that in the beginning

people pay full attention, and if the talk is

lengthened they became bored, and begin

to pay less attention). When all laughedfor something, he would laugh too. The

things that surprised people, he would

also show his surprise regarding that

He would say: 'When you see a person inneed, then always help that person'.

[He would hate it if someone praised him].

If someone, by way of thanks praised him,

he would remain silent, (because it is


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necessary that one thank a person for a

good favour or good deed. Some of thescholars have translated this as: 'If one did

not exceed in praising him, he would keep

silent'. That means if he exceeded he

would prohibit him). He did not interrupt

someone talking and did not begin

speaking when someone else was busy

speaking. If one exceeded the limits he

would stop him or would get up and leave

(so that that person would stop)".

When another is talking, one should showattention and concentration no matter

what. When the Prophet (peace be upon

him) spoke to someone, he would face the

person with his whole body, not simply his

face or neck, and not look from the cornerof his eye, but give them such full

attention that they would feel as if they

were the most important in the gathering.

Imam Ata ibn Abi Rabah said: "A young

man would tell me something that I may


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have heard before he was born.

Nevertheless, I listen to him as if I hadnever heard it before."

Khalid ibn Safwan al-Tamimi, who

frequented the courts of the two Khalif'as

Umar ibn And' al-Aziz and Hisham ibn

'Abd al-Malik said: "If a person tells you

something you have heard before, or

news that you already learnt, do not

interrupt him to exhibit your knowledge

to those present. This is rude and ill

mannered."

A wise man said to his son: "Learn the art

of listening as you learn the art of

speaking."

Listening well means to maintain eyecontact (when appropriate), allowing the

speaker to finish their speech and

restraining your urge to interrupt his

speech.


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O you who believe! You are responsible

for your own selves. If you follow theright guidance and enjoin what is right and

forbid what is wrong, no hurt can come to

you from those who are in error. The

return of you all is to God, then He will

inform you about (all) that which you used

to do. (Quran 5:105) (This is addressed

to believers in God. It is one of the many

ways that God encourages them to always

be happy in doing what is right, and

liberates them from worries about other

peoples opinions.)

God does not look not at your figures,

nor at your outward appearance, but He

looks at your hearts and deeds. (Muslim)

Anyone who seeks refuge in God will find

refuge with Him. Anyone who asks from

God will receive. (Bukhari)


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And your Lord says: Call upon Me; I will

respond to you. (Quran: Ghafir: 60)...Surely there is peace of hearts in the

contemplation of God! (13:28)

Adhere to truth, for truth leads to good

deeds and good deeds leads him who

does them to Paradise. Falsehood is

wickedness and wickedness leads to Hell.

(Muslim).

O People of who believe! Become the

establishers of justice, witnesses for Godeven though it be against yourselves or

your parents or your relatives. If he be a

wealthy or a poor person, then (know

that) God is closer to both of them.

Therefore, do not follow (your) desire in(the matter of) enforcement of justice.

(Quran: 4: 135) (never be prejudiced, or

arrogant, or show favouritism in being

honest, fair and just.)


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An honest and trustworthy merchant will

be with the prophets, the truthful, and themartyrs (in Paradise). (Tirmidhi).

'The people of the Garden are: a man in

power who is just and successful in

fulfilling his duty; a merciful man who is

kind-hearted to all his relatives ; and an

abstinent, modest man with a family.'"

(Muslim)

On the Day of Resurrection God will not

look at three (kinds of) persons nor purifythem. One of them is the person who

swears (to the truth) while lying about his

merchandise. (Muslim)

There are three classes of judges, one ofwhom will be in the Garden (Paradise) and

the other two in the Fire (Hell). The one

who will be in the Garden is a man who

knew the truth and judged accordingly.

The one who knew the truth but


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misjudged and the one who judged for the

people in the ignorance will be in the Fire.(Abu Dawud and others)

"Right guidance, good behaviour and

aiming for what is just and correct is a

seventieth part of prophethood."

(Bukhari)

"Under no circumstances allow the fear of

the people to prevent a man from

speaking the truth if he is aware of it, sees

it, or hears it." (Tirmidhi)

O you who believe! Remain conscious of

God, and speak with a will to bring out

[only] what is just and true - [whereupon]

He will cause your deeds to be virtuous,and will forgive you your sins...

(Quran:33:69-70)


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"No one should prevent his neighbour

from fixing a wooden peg in his wall."(Bukhari)

"The best of companions in the sight of

God Almighty is the best of them towards

his companion, and the best of neighbours

in the sight of God is the best of them

towards his neighbour." (Tirmidhi)

Worship God and do not associate

anything with Him. Be kind to parents and

near kinsmen, to the orphans and to theneedy, to your neighbor who is your

kindred, and to the neighbor at your far

side, and the companion at your side*,

and to the destitute traveler, and to that

which your right hands owns. Allah doesnot love he who is proud and struts,

(Quran:4:36) (*Companion at your side:

the person right next to you, living,

traveling, waiting in queue, eating, or

whichever situation you might be in.)
http://tanzil.net/#trans/en.qaribullah/4:36http://tanzil.net/#trans/en.qaribullah/4:36http://tanzil.net/#trans/en.qaribullah/4:36


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"He has not truly believed in me who eats

to his satisfaction and sleeps comfortablyat night while his neighbour goes hungry -

and he is aware of it."

"A person whose neighbours are not safe

from his evil will not enter the Garden."

(Bukhari)

"Conduct yourself in this world, as if you

are here to stay forever; prepare for

eternity as if you have to die tomorrow."

(Bukhari)


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The servants of the Merciful are those

who walk with humility on the earth, andwhen they are addressed by the ignorant,

they say: 'Peace;" (63) Who say: "O our

Lord, avert from us the torment of Hell: Its

punishment is surely continuous;" (66)

Who are neither prodigal nor miserly in

their spending but follow a middle path;

(67) who do not bear witness to falsehood

and who; if they have ever to pass by

what is useless/idle talk, they pass by like

dignified people: (72).. (Quran: al-Furqan)
http://tanzil.net/#trans/en.ahmedali/25:63http://tanzil.net/#trans/en.ahmedali/25:63http://tanzil.net/#trans/en.ahmedali/25:66http://tanzil.net/#trans/en.ahmedali/25:66http://tanzil.net/#trans/en.ahmedali/25:66http://tanzil.net/#trans/en.ahmedali/25:67http://tanzil.net/#trans/en.ahmedali/25:67http://tanzil.net/#trans/en.ahmedali/25:67http://tanzil.net/#trans/en.ahmedali/25:67http://tanzil.net/#trans/en.ahmedali/25:66http://tanzil.net/#trans/en.ahmedali/25:63


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Humor

Muslims (as well as many non-Muslim

historians) believe the Prophet (peace be

upon him) is a role model. Among other

qualities, he taught us through his

behaviour to be cheerful and refreshing,

without being foolish or non-serious when

required. He played with children often,

and smiled and joked with his wives and

companions. One of his companions

reported that he had never seen anyone

smile as much as the Prophet (peace beupon him) used to smile.

A man came to the Prophet (peace be

upon him) to ask him to give him an

animal to ride. The Prophet jokingly toldhim, "I will give you the child of a she-

camel to ride." He said, "O Messenger of

God, what will I do with the child of a she-

camel?" The Prophet said: "Are riding-


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camels born except from she-camels?"

(Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, others)

It was 7th

Century Arabia, where it was

normal and accepted for people to be sold

in the marketplace, and although God and

His Messenger (peace be upon him)

encouraged the freeing of slaves and set

about many social reforms to treat slaves

with utmost respect and to eradicate

slavery so much that a master is

forbidden to even call their slave a

slave. In this society, commenting onsomeone being sold was a socially

acceptable norm and not a form of

disrespect or hostility. There was a man

from the desert whose name was Zahir.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) lovedhim very much and would say, "Zahir is

our man of the desert, and we are his

town-dwellers." One day the Prophet

(peace be upon him) came to him whilst

he was selling some goods in the market.


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He embraced him from behind, and the

man could not see him, so he exclaimed,"Let me go! Who is this?" Then he turned

around and recognized the Prophet

(peace be upon him), so he tried to move

closer to him once he knew who it was.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) playfully

started to say, "Who will buy this slave?"

Zahir said, "O Messenger of God, you will

find me (unworthy of being) sellable!" The

Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "But in

the sight of God you are valuable." (Imam

Hanbal)

An old woman came to the Prophet

(peace be upon him) and said: "O

Messenger of God, pray to God that I will

enter Paradise." He said jokingly, "No oldwomen will enter Paradise." (Tirmidhi)

The old woman became upset, so he

informed her that the only reason he said

that was that all people will become

young again for Paradise.


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Aisha, his wife (God be pleased with her)said, "I went out with the Prophet on a

journey. At that time I was a young girl

and was quite slender. The Prophet told

the people, 'Go on ahead,' so they went

ahead, then he said to me, 'Come, let us

have a race.' So I raced with him, and I

won. He let the matter rest until I had

gained weight. Later, I accompanied him

on another journey. He told the people,

'Go on ahead,' so they went ahead. He

said to me, 'Come, let us have a race.' So Iraced with him, and he won. He began to

laugh, and said, 'This is for that."' (Imam

Hanbal)

It is reported that the Prophet was askedby his companions: "You are joking with

us." He said, "But I never say anything

except the truth." (Bukhari)


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One day he saw a child looking sad, so he

said, "Why do I see Abu 'Umayr lookingsad?" A man told him, "The nughar which

he used to play with has died, O

Messenger of God." (Nughar: a small bird

like a sparrow).

The Prophet (peace be upon him) began

to gently joke with the child, saying, "O

Abu Umayr, what happened to the

Nughayr?" (Hayat al-Sahabah) (Nughayr:

diminutive of nughar. In Arabic, this is a

play on words, because of the rhyme

between the boy's name and that of thebird.)

Shaddad-bin-Aws reported, (One day),

the Prophet, peace be upon him, came in,

at the time of one of the two eveningprayers, carrying (one of his grandsons).

Then, he went forward, laid the small child

aside, and started praying. (He was the

leader of the prayer). During the prayer,

he made one of his prostrations so long


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that I raised my head (up from the

prostration on the ground). I found thesmall child mounting on the back of the

Prophet, peace be upon him. So, I lowered

my head down again (continued the

prostration). After the Prophet, peace be

upon him, ended the prayer, the

companions asked: "Messenger of God,

we noticed that one of the prostrations

was so long, that we thought there was

something unusual, or that you were

receiving revelation (of some of the

Qur'an)." The Prophet (peace be uponhim) replied that none of that had

happened. But his grandson had been on

his back, and he did not want to rush the

little boys game before he had gotten

enough fun from riding on hisgrandfathers back.


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Charity

You will never attain true righteousness

until you give away of what you love.

(Quran: 3:92) (ie. not just extra things but

ones loved/favourite things.)

And be constant in prayer, and render

the Zakat*; for, whatever good deed you

send ahead for your own selves, you shall

find it with God: behold, God sees all that

you do. (Quran: 2:110) (No good deed of

a believer is ever wasted, when done with

the right mindfulness, so whether or not

people respond positively is no reason to

stop doing good deeds.)

(*Zakat is the third of the 5 pillars of

Islam; it is a percentage of ones wealth

that is an obligatory charity to be given by

every able Muslim every year. It is not paid


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on immediately consumable goods such as

food, but is paid out on those forms ofwealth (such as money, land or livestock)

which have the capacity to grow in value

or otherwise produce further wealth. The

purpose is to do more than provide

immediate meals to individuals, but to

assist the poor to come out of their

poverty, by distributing wealth in the

economy and stimulating further growth

and prosperity for the whole society. TheQuran lists the categories of people to

whom Zakat should be paid, including the

poor, the wayfarers, those who are heavily

under debt to help them pay off loans, etc.

Zakat comes from the Arabic root that

means purity, and is a way to purify

ones wealth. It stems from the belief that

God is the Only True Lord and Owner of


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everything, hence whatever we have been

given is not ours to claim but a gift fromHim to be grateful for and to use well. The

fraction of wealth to be paid in Zakat

therefore does not truly belong to us, but

the poor are its rightful inheritors. Rather

than charity, a better translation for

Zakatmight be poor-due.

It is Haram/unlawful to give Zakat to the

Prophet (peace be upon him) or his family

line, since the Prophet (peace be upon

him) was the carrier ofGods Message for

the benefit of all of humanity, not for any

advantage of his own. There are more

rules to Zakat, such as what is the

percentage, what is the minimum level of

wealth in ones ownership that makes one

eligible to pay it, etc - but they are beyond

this booklet. Also, the above specifics


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mentioned are only for the annual

obligatory Zakat. Aside from Zakat,regular charity is recommended to be

given to any one at any time such as food,

clothing, etc. Furthermore, according to

Islamic belief, one of the ways that

misfortunes, illnesses, etc in ones life may

be warded off are by giving more in

charity.)


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Whatever wealth you spend in charity,

it is for your own good. As you spend ofyour wealth to win God's pleasure, you

will be given full reward for whatever you

spend and you will not be deprived in the

least of your rightful due. (272) (Charity is

for) those who are engaged so much in

the cause of God that they cannot move

about in the land to earn their livelihood

and are, therefore, in straitened

circumstances. An ignorant person would

suppose them to be well off because of

their self-respect; you can know their realcondition from their faces, for they are

not the ones who would beg of people

with importunity. And Allah will surely

know whatever you will spend on them.

(273) Those who spend their wealthsecretly and openly by day and night, will

have their reward with their Lord, and

they have nothing to fear nor grieve. (274)

(Quran:2)
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God says, "Anything you expend will be

replaced by Him." (Quran: 34:39)

God says of the people of Paradise, "They

give food, despite their love for it (or for

the love of God), to the poor and orphans

and captives; saying We feed you for the

sake of God alone, we desire not

recompense from you, nor thanks"

(Quran: 76:8-9)

When a Muslim plants a plant or

cultivates a crop, no bird or human beingeats from it without its being accounted

for as a (rewardable) charity for him.

(Bukhari, Muslim).

If anyone plants a tree, patiently

protects it and looks after it until it bears

fruit, God the Mighty and Glorious will

count as charity for him anything for

which its fruits are used. (Ahmad).


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Some of the Companions worried that

they could not earn as many good deedsas the rich, since the rich gave much in

charity. They said to the Prophet (peace

be upon him): O Messenger of God, the

rich ones have made off with the rewards:

they pray as we pray, they fast as we fast,

and they give away in charity the

superfluity of their wealth. The Prophet

(peace be upon him) said: Has not God

made things for you to give away in

charity? Truly every tasbiha (to praise God

from imperfection) is a charity, everytakbira (to humble oneself in reminding

oneself of Gods greatness) is a charity,

every tahmida (to be grateful and thank

God) is a charity and every tahlia (to

testify that there is no God but God) is acharity; to enjoin a good action is a

charity, to forbid an evil action is a charity

and in a sexual act each of you there are a

charity. They said: O Messenger of God,

when one of us fulfils his sexual desire will


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he have some reward for that? The

Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Do you[not] think that were he to act upon it

unlawfully, he wold be sinning? Likewise,

if he has acted upon it lawfully he will

have a reward. (Muslim).

"Every right thing is charity." (Bukhari)

"The good word is charity." (Bukhari)

Each person's every joint must perform a

charity every day they comes up: to actjustly between two people is a charity; to

help a man with his mount, lifting him

onto it or hoisting up his belongings onto

it is a charity; a good word is a charity;

every step you take to prayers (i.e. onyour way to the mosque) is a charity and

removing a harmful thing from the road is

a charity.

(Bukhari, Muslim).


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The most meritorious form of charity is

the effort to help a poor man, made insecret, by one who is himself of little

means.

(Ahmad).

Seven will God shade on the day when

there will be no shade but the shade of

His Throne: one of them is a man who

offers charity without his left hand

knowing what his right hand has given.

(Bukhari, Muslim). (Your own other hand

not knowing the actions is referring toanonymity. Among the best charity in the

eyes of God is one that not even the

receiver of the charity knows who gave it.

That is truly sincere charity, without

concern for any showing off or returns.)

Smiling in the face of your brother is a

charity, enjoining good and prohibiting

evil is a charity, showing someone the way

when he is lost is a charity, helping the


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weak-sighted is a charity, removing a rock,

a thorn, or bones from the path is acharity, and pouring water from your

bucket into the bucket of your brother is a

charity. (Tirmidhi)

Sa'id ibn Abi Burda related from his

grandfather that the Prophet, may God

bless him and grant him peace, said,

"Every Muslim owes charity." He said,

"What do you think he should do if he

cannot find anything to give?" He replied,

"He should find work and thus benefithimself and be able to give charity." He

said, "What do you think he should do if

he cannot or does not do that?" He said,

"He should help someone with a great

need." He said, "What do you think heshould do if he cannot or does not do

that?" He replied, "He should command

the good." He asked, "What do you think

he should do if he cannot or does not do


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that?" He replied, "He should refrain from

evil. That is charity for him." (Bukhari)

"God curses anyone who misguides a

blind person and leads him away from the

path." (Bukhari)

"The upper hand is better than the lower

hand. The upper hand is the one which

expends, and the lower one is the one

which asks." (Muwatta, Imam Malik)

"Your putting some of the water from

your bucket in your brother's bucket is

charity. Your removing stone, thorns and

bones from people's path is charity. Your

guiding a man in a place where there areno guides is charity."(Bukhari)

If you spend (to help others), O son of

Adam! I [God] shall spend on you.

(Bukhari, Muslim).


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"(Each one) of you should save himself

from the (Hell) Fire by giving even half of adate (in charity). And if you do not find a

half date, then (you can do it through

saying) a pleasant word (to your

brethern)." (Bukhari)

"Spend, (or give out) and do not hold

back, or God will hold back from you. Do

not refuse to spend your surplus or God

will deny you His." (Agreed upon)

"The best charity is that given to a relativewho does not like you." (Tirmidhi)

"If anyone gives in charity as much as a

date from honest (Halal) earnings - and

God only accepts what is good (Halal) -God will accept it in His right hand and will

then increase it in size for the giver, just

like one of you might rear a foal, until it is

the size of a mountain." (Agreed upon)


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Charity given to a poor man is just

Charity, but when given to a relative itserves a double purpose, being both

Charity and a connecting link. (Ahmad,

Tirmidhi, Nasaai).

Satan threatens you with poverty and

orders you to immorality, while God

promises you forgiveness from Him and

bounty. And God is All-Encompassing and

Knowing. (Quran: 2 : 268).

"(the poor) will enter Paradise (before)the rich. Do not turn away a poor

man...even if all you can give is half a date.

If you love the poor and bring them near

you...God will bring you near Him on the

Day of Resurrection." (Tirmidhi)

(There was) a man (who) never did a

good deed, except that he removed a

thorny branch from the road... God


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accepted this good deed of his and

brought him into Paradise. (Abu Dawud)

"Verily, God, the Exalted and Glorious,

would say on the Day of Resurrection:

"O son of Adam, I was sick but you did not

visit Me."

He (the man) would say: "O my Lord; how

could I visit You whereas You are the Lord

of the worlds?"

Thereupon God would say:

"Didn't you know that such and such

servant of Mine was sick but you did not

visit him - and were you not aware that if

you had visited him, you would have foundMe by him?

O son of Adam, I asked food from you but

you did not feed Me."


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He would say: "My Lord, how could I feed

You whereas You are the Lord of theworlds?"

God said: "Didn't you know that such and

such servant of Mine asked food from you

but you did not feed him, and were you

not aware that if you had fed him youwould have found him by My side?

O son of Adam, I asked drink from you but

you did not provide Me."

He would say: "My Lord, how could I

provide Thee whereas Thou art the Lord

of the worlds?"

Thereupon God would say: "Such and such

of servant of Mine asked you for a drinkbut you did not provide him, and had you

provided him drink you would have found

him near Me.""

(Muslim)


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Anger

"Repel (the evil) with one which is better,

then verily! He, between whom and you

there was enmity (will become) as though

he was a close friend." (Qur'an 41:34)

(Meaning: when someone is bad to you,

instead of paying them for it by being bad

to them in return, repay them with

something good, better than what they

did. From personal experience, I can tellyou it works wonders, especially when

done with pure intentions.)

In reference to the qualities of those who

will be from Paradise, God says: "Those

who give in times of both ease and

hardship, those who control their rage

and pardon other people. God loves good-

doers." (Quran: 3:134)


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"Those who avoid major wrong actions

and indecencies and who, when they areangered, even then forgive" (Quran

:42:37) [it is one thing to control oneself in

a moment of anger, and another to

actually go further than just controlling

oneself but to forgive in that moment].

"There is nothing that is swallowed

greater with God in reward than a slave of

God who swallows and contains his anger

out of desire for the pleasure of God."

(Bukhari)

The strong man is not the good wrestler;

the strong man is only the one who

controls himself when he is angry.

(Bukhari, Muslim).

"The strongest man is the one who, when

he gets angry and his face reddens and his

hackles rise, is able to defeat his anger."

(Sahih al-Jami)


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I guarantee a house in the surroundings

of Paradise for a man who avoidsquarrelling even if he were in the right, a

house in the middle of Paradise for a man

who avoids lying even if he were joking,

and a house in the upper part of Paradise

for a man who made his character good.

(Abu Dawud Book 41, Hadith 4782)

"A person should be cautious from being

angry."(Bukhari)

A Muslim is never allowed to stay angrywith his Muslim brother over three days,

because he who does that, then dies will

go to Hell. (Abu Dawood)

To extinguish anger, we perform ablution(washing) or drink water, as the Prophet

(peace be upon him) said: Anger is the

effect of Satan and Satan was created

from fire. And water extinguishes fire."


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"If a man gets angry and says: "I seek

refuge with God," his anger will go away."(Sahih al-Jami)

"If any of you becomes angry, let him keep

silent." (Sahih al-Jami)

The Messenger of God said: "If any of you

becomes angry and he is standing, let him

sit down, so that his anger will go away. If

it does not go away, let him lie down."

(Musnad Ahmad)

Whoever controls their temper God will

take away punishment from him and who

so ever safe guard's his tongue God will

conceal his sins. (Tabrani)

"Do not become angry, and Paradise is

yours." (Sahih al-Jami)

Whoever controls their temper in a state

that if he wanted he could have took


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revenge. Then on the day of judgement

God will call him in front of everyone andwill give him the choice of picking the

Hoor of his choice. (Tirmidhi and Abu

Dawood) (Hoors are a heavenly female

companion, not as normal human women.

And as opposed to common

misunderstandings, it is not that only men

will have heavenly female companions.

Women will also have heavenly male

companions in Paradise. And Paradise is

full of cleanliness, purity and modesty. So

we do not imagine indecencies would takeplace there.)

Anas reported that the Prophet (peace be

upon him) said, Who so takes up his

tongue as treasure God will keep hissecrets concealed and who so restrains his

anger God will withhold his punishment

on the resurrection day and who so

ascribes excuse to God will accept his

excuse.


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Sulayman ibn Surad said, "Two men

abused one another in the presence of theProphet, may God bless him and grant him

peace, and one of them began to get

angry and his face got red. The Prophet,


looked at him and said, 'I know some

words that, if he says them, will remove

this from him. They are: "I seek refuge

with God from the Accursed Shaytan."

'Umar ibn al-Khattab said, 'Do not let your

love be a total infatuation. Do not let youranger be destruction.' I asked, 'How is

that?' He replied, 'When you love, you are

infatuated like a child. When you hate,

you desire destruction for your

companion.'" (Bukhari)

Abu Salih related from Abu Hurayra that a

man said to the Prophet, may God bless

him and grant him peace, "Advise me." He

said, "Do not get angry" and repeated that


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several times, saying, "Do not get angry."

(Bukhari)

According to another narration, the man

later said: "I thought about what the

Prophet said, and I realized that anger

combines all kinds of evil." (Musnad

Ahmad)

"And march forth towards forgiveness

from your Lord, and for a Paradise as wide

as the heavens and the earth, prepared

for the righteous; those who spend inprosperity and in adversity, repress anger,

and pardon men. Verily, God loves the

good-doers." (Quran:3:134)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) taughtthree ways to control anger:

1) Say "I seek refuge in God from the

outcast Satan"

2) Do ablution/wash or drink water.

3) Lie down on the floor


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When a person is lying he can be humble,

being close to the earth, which has thequality of being low and not bursting. This

is the opposite to fire, which is the origin

of Satan, which results in pride. When a

person is lying down he is far from

revenge than a person who is sitting, and

farther than one who is standing.

Be considerate and forgiving. Do you not

want God to forgive you? God is All-

forgiving and All-merciful. (Quran: 24: 21)

(Partly adapted from an online article. Id

like to add when hurt or struck by

negative feelings, when I put my hand

over my heart and say the Arabic formula:

There is no transformation or strengthexcept through God, God makes my

negative feelings literally melt away,

leaving only tranquil sanity!)


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O humankind! There has come to you a

good advice from your Lord, and a healingfor that which is in your hearts*, a

guidance and a mercy for the believers.

(Quran: 10: 57) (* that which is in the

heart: refers to troubles in the heart such

as arrogance, doubt, hypocrisy, ignorance,

restlessness, conflict, anxiety, anger etc.)


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Gifts

"Exchange gifts; Exchange love" (Bukhari)

It is better to give no gifts or charity than

to offer something and then say things

that make the person feel burdened orindebted by that charity, as God says:

The example of those who spend their

substance in the way of God is that of a

grain of corn: it grows seven ears, andeach ear has a hundred grains. God gives

manifold increase to whom He pleases:

And God cares for all and He knows all

things. (261) Those who spend their

substance in the cause of God, and do not

follow up their gifts with reminders of

their generosity (making the recipient feel

obliged or burdened) or with injury,-for
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them their reward is with their Lord: on

them shall be no fear, nor shall theygrieve. (262) Kind words and forgiveness

are better than charity followed by injury.

God is free of all wants, and He is Most-

Forbearing. (263) O you who believe! Do

not cancel out your charity by reminders

of your generosity or by injury,- like those

who spend their substance to be seen of

men, but believe neither in God nor in the

Last Day. They are like a hard, barrenrock, on which is a little soil: on it falls

heavy rain, which leaves it (just) a bare

stone. They will be able to do nothing with

aught they have earned(264) (Quran:2)

An important point to note is not to expect

gifts, or to try and give that which is

greater; for truly all actions are but by

intention. We should give to increase love
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and for the sake of God, not to compete,

or show our wealth; as this may constitutearrogance. We should also remember the

basic etiquette's of giving and receiving in

that we don't give just because we receive,

and we don't belittle or show lack of

gratitude for a gift, no matter what it is.

Even if we don't like it.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "I

shall accept the invitation even if I were

invited to a meal of a sheep's trotter, and I

shall accept the gift even if it were an armor a trotter of a sheep."

"O Muslim women! None of you should

look down upon the gift sent by her she-

neighbour even if it were the trotters ofthe sheep (fleshless part of legs)."

(Sahih Bukhari)

A further note to add here is that often in

disagreements, people are renowned to


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"take back their gifts". The Prophet (peace

be upon him) clearly forbade this:

"One who takes back his gift (which he has

already given) is like a dog that swallows

its vomit." (Sahih Bukhari) (Taken from

islamic adab online).

'A'isha said, "I said, 'Messenger of God, I

have two neighbours. To whom should I

give my gifts?' He replied, 'To the one

whose door is nearer to you

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