Self Edit for The Bean TreesEssay

Format: pts. Taken off if missing:

1. double spaced?

2. 12 pt font?

3 paragraphs indented

4. Title? (think of one that works for essay)

5. Name and hour

Are title and author mentioned?

• Do you see any words such as:• Great, beautiful, famous, brilliant, or

amazing in your intro?• If so cut them right now. We all know

Kingsolver is a Your purpose is not to review her work but to analyze it.

Introduction• Make sure title is underlined or in italacs• Do you have any “I think’s? If so cross them out.• Does the introduction start out a with general

statement that narrows down to supporting ideas and thesis?

• If not: Is there a broad statement about your thesis that you can mention (friendship, family, state of the world, community, Rhizobia definition, Kingsolver’s purpose?) that might work as a lead?

Or, if you are really stuck try beginning with a quote or well known proverb on your topic that will lead you into topic.

• Do you have a preview of 3 supporting ideas?

Underline them• Does the thesis statement come at end of

paragraph?.

Introduction continued

Inserting previews into thesis statement: make sure punctuation is correct if one word:

______, _______, and________ .

Or phrases:

___ ___ ____; ___ ____ ____; and ___ _____ ____.

Parallel construction in thesis?

• He sits, he stands, and he weeps in iambic pentameter.

• He is the first to arrive; the first to volunteer; and the first to leave.

• The themes of hope, rebirth and adaptation.

• …their similarities, their differences, and their influence on each other

Writing

• Read quietly to yourself for any awkward or run-on sentences. Make a mark if you hear one. Look for is how, is when, is because and revise any sentence that has them.

• Check punctuation. Circle semi-colon or colon if you are unsure of its use.

• Are commas inserted after introductory clauses and between items in a list?

• Make a quick note in the margin what you need to rework to clarify.

Use third person p.o.v.

Cut out any I thinks or I.

First Paragraph

• Read the topic sentence out loud to yourself. • Is it introducing the main idea of the

paragraph, or is it summarizing a part of the story? Make sure it clearly states the idea.

• Does the topic sentence correspond with the first supporting idea mentioned in the introduction?

Are you writing in present tense?

• Turtle is thrust into Taylor’s car.• Taylor moves into Lou Ann’s house.

First exampleDoes it relate to supporting idea in topic

sentence? (if not cut it-or revise topic sentence)

When you present your example is context provided?

Make sure context is short and not a summary.For example: While signing the adoption papers,(context) Esperanza experiences a catharsis.

Are you relating your example to thesis or topic sentence?

If not, make the connection for your reader.

First Quote

• First quote: Is context provided? – At Dog Doo Park Lou Ann says, “….”

• Is it introduced with colon or comma? • is speaker identified?

– Before quote!

• Page number? Period after final parathesis? (78).• Does commentary follow your support?• Do you explain how the quote relates to the topic

sentence?

Commentary• This is the most important part of essay.• Have you first explained the quote in your

own words if necessary? • Then comment on what the quote reveals.

Does it reveal character or theme?

• Is a transition used to introduce your next supporting detail?

• In addition, Also, Another, (for related ideas)

• However, on the other hand, (for different ideas)

• Avoid using the phrase : “Another example of this is when…” If you see this phrase underline it and try to rephrase it into active voice:

• Have you commented on secon example?

• Does the paragraph end with commentary?

• Do you have more than one sentence in your commentary?

• If not, deepen it.

• Does commentary clearly relate back to topic sentence or thesis?

• Read your paragraph again silently.• is there coherence? (Are the sentences related to each

other). If you find one that jars you away from previous thought, mark it and insert transitional phrase later.

• Do you think you have given enough analysis? Add one more thought to explore later. (you may or may not use it.)

• Is there too much summary in any of the paragraph? Replace it with analysis.

Second Paragraph

• Is there a smooth transition between the first paragraph and the second?

• 2. If not, ask yourself what the connection is between the two paragraphs and find a way to ease from one to the other. Think of your thesis as the thread tying the paragraphs together. Does that help?

• Repeat steps above.

Look at 2nd topic sentence

1. Does it introduce the second supporting idea from your introduction?

2. If it starts with summary-stop and figure out a way to present idea as analysis and not summary.

3. Tip: rephrase supporting idea from introduction.

Read 2nd paragraphs for

• 1. 2-3 examples that support T.S.• At least one quote in each para.• 3. Commentary clearly explains how

examples support your thesis?• Unity: everything relates to topic sent.• Coherence: ideas flow together well• Transitional phrase used between

ideas?

Read 3rd paragraphs for

• 1. 2-3 examples that support T.S.• At least one quote in each para.• 3. Commentary clearly explains how

examples support your thesis?• Unity: everything relates to topic sent.• Coherence: ideas flow together well• Transitional phrase used between

ideas?

Writing

• read the rest of the paragraph out loud and listen for awkward or run on sentences. Look for passive sentences and change them into active voice. (clues: the reason is that,

Not:The girl was taken by TaylorRight:Taylor takes the girl.

• Is present tense used? If not fix it.Not: Taylor left Pitman to avoid failure

Right: Taylor leaves Pitman to…

Final home edit

• Ask someone at home to read your paper. • Have them circle anything that doesn’t

make sense or that isn’t clear.• Feel proud about your hard work!

AT Home:Read essay out loud

• Mark any sentence that sounds awkward-if it sounds awkward, it probably is.

• Check for commas after introductory and parenthetical phrases.

• However should not be at the beginning of a sentence.

• Correct: Taylor, however, is confident.

Turnitin.com

• Course numbers and passwords• 4626254 English Honors 4 coco1• 4259630 English Honors 5 coco2• 4259639 English Honors 6 coco3