SELF-CARE ON THE INSIDE

Tips & Activities to Take Care of Yourself

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Self-Care on the Inside Guide First Edition April 2017

Written by: Everett Redente Featured artists: SRLP Prisoner Advisory Committee Members

Shaylanna L., Miguel M., Nouchie V., S. Torma, Robert, Chad W., & Mr. Rivera

Published by the Sylvia Rivera Law Project

147 W 24th St, 5th Fl New York, NY 10011

www.srlp.org

The Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP) works to guarantee that all people are free to self-determine their gender identity and expression, regardless of income or

race, and without facing harassment, discrimination, or violence

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Positive Affirmations:

Positive affirmations – or positive statements – are helpful in reprogramming our

subconscious mind. Our brains and bodies often hold on to the trauma, pain, and hate

associated with traumatic experiences. Sometimes this means we have automatic negative or

painful thoughts that may pop up in our day-to-day life without us even being aware of it.

When we practice positive affirmations, we are working to reprogram our brain to heal from

the abuse or trauma. Positive affirmations should fit your particular wounds, experiences,

and/or insecurities. For example, a positive affirmation should interrupt the pattern of getting

stuck in harsh beliefs by replacing the negative thought with a loving one.

Positive Affirmations in Practice:

When you look in the mirror and think “I am worthless,” look at yourself with

strength and say instead, “I am worthy of love and respect.” This isn’t easy! If

you keep having negative thoughts,

that’s okay! That’s just trauma still

living in your body. Choose any

affirmation you’d like and practice

saying it out loud daily or whenever a

painful experience/memory happens.

Positive Affirmation Examples:

I am strong, courageous, and brave. I am an incredible person. I am loved and

supported. I am grateful for my body and everything it does to support me. I

am beautiful. I am powerful. It was not my fault. I am worthy. I have a right to

3 exist. I am (your name) and my identity is valid. I am valued. I am resilient.

Breathing Exercises:

Sometimes memories of trauma or abuse can come back to us and make it feel as if we are re-

living them. When that happens, it is important to try and return back to the present. One

way to do that is through controlled breathing. Controlled breathing not only keeps your

mind and body functioning at their best, but it can also lower blood pressure, promotes

feelings of calm, and helps you relax. Breathing exercises can be something you do every day

or you can do these when you are feeling very heightened and triggered in any moment.

Breathing Exercises in Practice:

Try inhaling slowly through your nose for a count of four, and then exhale

through your mouth for a count of four. If you have not tried breathing

exercises before, start with just inhaling and exhaling for one minute. Work

your way up and try for at least 10 minutes a day – it may take some practice

and time before you can do controlled breathing for 10 minutes at a time.

Sometimes it can be nice to close your eyes, to do them in a quiet place, to do

them looking out a window or while sitting on a blanket, mattress, or pillow.

But find the way that works

best for you!

You can also try another

breathing technique by putting

one hand on your chest and the

4 other on your stomach. Take a deep breath in through your nose and try to fill

up air through your chest and stomach. Repeat this deep and slow breathing

pattern six to ten times per minute and try to work your way up to 10 minutes

each day. As you get used to doing this, it can be nice to take note of your

heartbeat and feel it calming down and to give yourself a compliment for your

great work taking care of yourself!

Meditation & Mindfulness:

Meditation and mindfulness are self-care tools that can be practiced anywhere. Like breathing

exercises and positive affirmations,

they help you to take your body and

brain back from the experience of

trauma. Meditation is a practice that

allows the mind to exist in a calm and

natural state. Mindfulness is the art

and science of paying complete

attention to the one thing you’re doing

in any given moment.

Meditation in Practice:

Start by sitting down and allow yourself to become very still, relaxed, and alert.

Try to focus your attention on one thing. It can be anything, but two good

places to start if you are new to meditation are either focusing on your

breathing or on a word or phrase (called a mantra) that you repeat over and

over for the duration of your meditation. Some examples could be: “I am

5 loved” or “I am enough.” Sometimes people prefer to make sounds that don’t

have a meaning but are soothing, like making a noise as you breathe out or

humming. As you do this, your mind will wander and that is okay! Try to allow

these thoughts to pass by, like a bird flying past clouds or cars passing on the

road. Your only job when you practice meditation is to bring your attention

back when it strays from your object of focus. You may find yourself falling

asleep at first and that’s also okay. As you practice, try to remember to stay

relaxed, still, and alert.

Meditation and mindfulness can also include other activities:

Body Scan:

A body scan allows you to pay attention and notice each part of your body.

This can help you to reconnect to parts of your body that might still hold

painful memories or be difficult for you to think about. Start by laying or

sitting in a comfortable position. Pay attention to your body. Start at your toes

6 and move up your body to your head. Focus on tightening each body part and

muscle group as you move up your body. Then, release it. As you release your

body part or muscle group, allow yourself to feel it getting heavy and relaxed as

you let go of the burden of carrying it.

Guided Meditation/Visualization:

This practice is like meditation

but you are imagining – or

visualizing – a story instead of

just a word or sound. Many

people will visualize a relaxing

place or the process of healing

happening. Sometimes people

will tell themselves a favorite

soothing story as they visualize

it happening. Maybe you want to visualize healing by imagining a ray of light

coming to you and touching your body wherever it hurts, bringing you a warm

glow and the feeling of safety. Maybe you

want to imagine yourself with a loved one,

making a favorite meal together. Think of

something soothing that allows you to feel

calm and at peace.

Praying:

If prayer is important for you, it can be a

7 great way to integrate mindfulness and meditation. The next time you pray, be

aware of straying thoughts and calmly bring yourself back to your prayers. If

your prayers are physical in nature, become aware of the movement of your

body as you pray. Think about how your hands feel when they move: Do you

feel graceful? Do you feel strong? Make your prayer take up your whole body.

Reflecting:

If you are having a day where your thoughts seem very fast or very scattered, it

can be helpful to describe

your day to yourself.

Include small things that

you did and give yourself

credit for all the work you

put into surviving the day

(examples could be: today I

woke up. I opened my eyes,

I stretched my arms, and I

got out of my bed. I made

my bed. I washed my hands

and splashed water on my

face, etc.). This kind of

detailed description can help you to feel centered and it can remind you of the

many things you have power and control over, the things that you chose to do

with your day like open your eyes or stretch. Those are choices you make for

your body and you deserve credit for them!

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Grounding Techniques:

Grounding is an exercise that helps keep you in the present moment and in reality. It can be

helpful in managing overwhelming feelings, intense anxiety, or nerves. It can also help you

regain control of your mental focus from a place of intense or high emotion. Grounding

techniques can also help bring you back to the physical space where you are. When

memories of trauma make you feel outside of your body, these activities can bring you back.

Here are some grounding activities to try:

54321:

Name 5 things you can see in the room

with you, 4 things you can physically feel

against you, 3 things you can hear right

now, 2 things you can smell right now,

and 1 good thing about yourself.

Questions:

Ask yourself questions to help bring you into this moment. Where am I? What

day is it? What is the date? What is the month? What is the year? How old am

I? What season is it? It is okay if you do not know the answers to these

questions. If these questions are difficult, you may want to try another activity

listed in this guide.

9 Description Game:

Plant your feet firmly on the ground.

Physically hold an object and try to

describe each detail of it out loud like you

wanted someone on the phone to be able

to see it. Try this with a comforting object

like a blanket or a favorite shirt. Now try

it with an object that is cold. Try it with

an object that is rough.

Get Creative:

Whether it’s writing, drawing, or making music,

expressing our story or experiences can be an

important tool to help us let go of emotion, pain,

and/or trauma. Creative expression can use our

whole body and brain and this helps us to remove

trauma from where it may be stuck inside of us.

When we create something, we have the option of sharing our art with our community.

Whether it’s a beautiful drawing or a letter, turning our pain into creativity can be a powerful

experience – both for us and for others.

Make Music:

Music does not have to be made with a traditional instrument. We can make

music using our bodies, our hands, our voices, and items like pens or pencils.

You can try to make a familiar tune you love, or you can write your own piece.

10 Physical Exercise/Movement:

Sometimes our experiences can’t be captured on paper. Use your whole body

to express what is inside of you. Try wiggling your toes and fingers, stretching

different parts of your body, shaking out your arms and legs, or walking

around. Notice the rhythm of your steps and breath and use this natural beat

to create movement.

Write Letters:

Write letters to people who care about you

and support you. Write letters to your

idols, your past or future self, people who

have hurt you. In the letters, you can say

what you wish you had known, what you

wish you had said, what you want to say

one day. You can choose to send these

letters, keep them, destroy them, or throw

them away.

Journal:

Document your daily interactions,

important events, or whatever comes to mind at the moment. Allow yourself

to write freely without judgment. If words don’t come to you, use drawings.

11 Read:

Read something new or re-read something that makes you feel good.

Memorize a favorite line and use that line to inspire you during meditation.

Stay in Contact:

Stay in contact with at least one person & ask for support when you need it. You can stay in

contact with Sylvia Rivera Law Project’s Prisoner Advisory Committee, contact a friend or

loved one, or write to other pen pal organizations including:

Black and Pink,

614 Columbia Rd,

Dorchester, MA 02125

Beyond These Walls,

PO Box 13006,

Portland, OR 97213

Prisoner Correspondence Project,

QPIRG Concordia c/o Concordia

University,

1455 de Maisonneuve Ouest,

Montréal QC H3G 1M8 Canada

(extra postage necessary)

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Ask for Additional Resources:

Healing is an ongoing process. As you work your way through these tips you may want to

move on to other work. The work that you are doing is fantastic. Below are a few examples of

places to reach out to when you are ready.

Yoga:

Many people find yoga to be a helpful and healing practice. You can write to

the Prison Yoga Project and ask for a free book: The Prison Yoga Project, P.O.

Box 426, San Quentin, CA 94964.

Writing:

If you have found that writing is a helpful tool, you may want to reach out to

the PEN America Program, which publishes the work of people in prison and

has a free handbook for aspiring writers: PEN America, 588 Broadway, Suite

303, New York, NY 10012.

LGBT Books to Prisoners:

If you want to learn more about healing and trauma – or anything else – you

can write to the LGBT Books to Prisoners program and ask if they have books

on certain subjects. They might not, but they may be able to find other books

for you: LGBT Books to Prisoners, c/o Social Justice Center Incubator, 1202

Williamson St #1, Madison, WI 53703.

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