SECOND SATURDAYPRESENTATION OUTLINES

INTRODUCTIONWelcome to Second Saturday. We’ll be together for X hours today, so introduce yourself and say hi to those around youSome of what you say today may be intimate and personal, so let’s all take a vow not to talk to others about what is disclosed today. What happens at Second Saturday stays at Second Saturday!

About the workshopThis Second Saturday presentation is to give you general information about divorce, and it is not a do-it-yourself workshop on how to get a divorce. We can’t provide you with individualized information in this short a time, and what we say will address only the law and divorce process in this state.

Second Saturday workshops are presented by agreement with the Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org), the oldest and most trusted non-profit devoted to female financial literacy.

LEGAL ISSUES

1. A little bit about you and how you came to practice in this area, and what your philosophy is re divorce and how your view have evolved over the years

2. Overview of the divorce law in this state Description of the general law and what it means– community property, equitable

distribution, or whatever best describes your state law What constitutes marital property, and what is separate property What are the grounds for divorce in your state, and fault vs. no-fault What jurisdiction the courts have, and what they may decide – property division,

support, child custody

3. The divorce process Initial paperwork – summons and petition and response, restraining orders,

declarations of disclosure Court procedures – judicial officer assignment to case, status conferences,

mandatory settlement conferences, mediation of child issues, etc – whatever is required in your state

Discovery process – document production requests, subpoenas, depositions, etc. Trial if you cannot settle your case – how that works, whether it is judge or jury,

preparation for trial (pleadings, legal research, etc.) How long it will take

4. Your rights and optionsTemporary restraining orders

Temporary orders regarding support and property use Orders regarding where the children will live while the divorce is pending Decisions about who will pay the mortgage Pre-division of some assets and bank accounts Discovery issues – how will you find out what’s there? Should you wait to get a job until the divorce is over?

5. Ways to approach divorce Litigation, assisted negotiation, private judging Alternative dispute resolution – mediation, collaborative Do it yourself, paralegal

6. The law regarding common divorce issues

Second Saturday workshops are presented by agreement with the Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org), the oldest and most trusted non-profit devoted to female financial literacy.

Child custody and visitation – legal vs. physical custody, how visitation schedules work, how disputes are handled

Child support – guidelines re how determined, how long it lasts, modifications, tax consequences, who takes children as tax deduction, how various child-related expenses are handled (medical expense, day care, extracurricular activities)

Alimony – guidelines re how determined, how long it lasts, modifications, wage garnishments, vocational evaluations, tax consequences

Health insurance – whether it can be terminated before judgment is entered, whether it can continue beyond judgment, whether the other spouse must pay for it, COBRA rules

Attorney fees – whether each pays their own or one spouse must pay the fees of the other

Property divison – how personal property is divided (cars, furnishings, jewelry), how real estate is divided, how debt is divided, how businesses are handled (whether they are marital property or separate, how they are valued, etc).

7. Post judgment issues – how legal agreements are enforced, what is subject to modification post-judgment.

8. How to choose an attorney – what to look for, particularly with certain issues, how the attorney enlists a team of professionals to help (appraisers, child specialists, financial professionals, etc).

Second Saturday workshops are presented by agreement with the Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org), the oldest and most trusted non-profit devoted to female financial literacy.

FAMILY AND EMOTIONAL ISSUES

1. The divorce process The process for you and the family – going from “love and together” to “apart and

at odds” to “separate and stable” Coping with the death of a dream – not the marriage as it was, but how it could

have been Divorce stages of grief and loss: anger, denial, bargaining, shock, sadness,

ambivalence, acceptance How the process differs if you are the one leaving vs. being left Divorce stresses – family, emotion, money, social support

2. Divorce strategies Choose a good support team for you and your children Write things down – take notes, keep a notebook, assemble relevant paperwork,

stay organized to cut down on turmoil Strategies for communicating with your spouse during this time Stay in control in communications – don’t respond in anger, wait before you hit

Send, think it through before you react Anticipation is your greatest asset – be proactive, not reactive

3. Helping your children Telling the children and answering questions – different strategies for different

ages Importance of not speaking ill of your spouse, and dealing with a spouse who

speaks ill of you to the children Techniques for keeping channels of communication open – what it is okay and

not okay to share with children Watching out for danger signs and what to do about them

4. Taking care of yourself Divorce can be all-consuming, so take frequent breaks to rest, exercise, talk to

friends about other things When you might get stuck, and how to move beyond that – dealing with your

anger, denial, blame, resentment, guilt, feelings of revenge Shoring up your self-esteem – who were you, who are you, who will you become Look for opportunities to grow – in divorce you can deal with your old issues and

do some powerful personal growth Read about the process – recommended books for you, recommended books for

your children of various ages

Second Saturday workshops are presented by agreement with the Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org), the oldest and most trusted non-profit devoted to female financial literacy.

Second Saturday workshops are presented by agreement with the Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org), the oldest and most trusted non-profit devoted to female financial literacy.

FINANCIAL ISSUES

1. Getting started Preparing for divorce – gather documents, pay down debt, make repairs to

property you want to keep, buy wardrobe you’ll need for your career, inventory safe deposit boxes, copy important records

Shoring up financial resources – how to get the funds you’ll need to go through divorce, getting control of your share of joint bank accounts, getting credit cards in your own name

2. Navigating the divorce Separating emotions and economics – money as power, revenge, reward,

punishment Taking an active role – learn as much as you can about your financial situation Take control - don’t spend money looking for every dime, but don’t just take

whatever is offered – there is a middle ground you can find

3. Determining support Support is based on your relative incomes – how to determine income from a

business, how a spouse’s ability to earn factors into the equations Child support isn’t taxable if you receive it, alimony is; child support isn’t tax-

deductible if you pay it, alimony is Who should claim the children on their tax return? Protecting support with life insurance in case he dies

3. Dealing with the family home Transfer of title between you isn’t taxable, but the tax basis (what you paid for it

plus improvements) may cause you to pay taxes when you sell it if gain is greater than $250,000

Deferred sale of home – each spouse can claim $250,000 exclusion of gain on sale of home if the resident spouse is granted exclusive use in a legal document.

Can you really afford to keep the home? What must you sacrifice, such as savings, retirement accounts, and is it worth it?

4. Retirement plans How Social Security works for divorced spouses Military benefits – how they are divided, when you can get direct payment,

medical and commissary privileges, Survivor Benefit Program insurance How retirement plans are divided, and when a Qualified Domestic Relations

Order is needed

Second Saturday workshops are presented by agreement with the Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org), the oldest and most trusted non-profit devoted to female financial literacy.

How to transfer your share of retirement accounts to your name

5. Other assets and debts Property you receive in divorce isn’t taxable to you, including cash payments in

exchange for your right in real estate or business Valuing a business, and getting your share of income from a business Dividing your stuff – furniture, jewelry (when it’s a gift and when it’s marital

property), vehicles, collections Miscellaneous property – frequent flyer points, accrued vacation and sick pay Separate property issues Reimbursement issues How to deal with joint credit cards Put an indemnification clause in your divorce agreement to deal with income tax

issues that may arise related to the period of the marriage Health insurance issues – COBRA coverage, your own coverage, coverage for the

children

6. Deciding what is best for you The pros and cons of trading retirement plan assets for the home Creating a budget – your former lifestyle vs. your current reality – what can you

afford now, what will you give up? Considering your future needs as well as your current needs as you negotiate a

settlement Career issues – who will you be now, and what do you want for your future?

7. Moving on after divorce Getting your financial life in order once the divorce papers are signed and filed Creating new goals and objectives Estate planning The importance of getting good professional advice

Second Saturday workshops are presented by agreement with the Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org), the oldest and most trusted non-profit devoted to female financial literacy.

FINANCIAL ISSUES – THE TWELVE FINANCIAL PITFALLS OF DIVORCE

Divorce is about family, emotion and money, not the law. And it is probably the biggest financial transaction of your life. Here are some of the pitfalls that people fall into as they go through divorce, and ways that you can keep from falling in.

Pitfall #1. Not enough cash Money makes us more secure, and cash buys power Divorce is very cash-hungry – filing fees, attorney fees and retainers, mediation

fees, apartment rent, counseling costs Stash cash before you leave – don’t conceal it, control it Other sources of cash – home refinance (but control the proceeds), credit cards

(get credit in your own name) Pay off bills from joint funds before you leave, so they aren’t hanging over your

head in divorce.

Pitfall #2. Too little preparation With preparation, you are less afraid and better able to act rather than react Before you leave, talk to a financial professional, discuss your options with an

attorney The right timing is important – after a bonus or lawsuit settlement is received,

after you’ve reached the 10-year mark for social security (discuss how social security works for divorced people)

Before you leave, fix the car, buy clothes, get dental work done

Pitfall #3. No records If you have full access to records, great. If not, copy everything that you can find. Get copies of tax returns and read them, or see a financial professional to help you

– they are treasure maps that show where assets are and how much income is Analyze your spending for at least two years, to establish your standard of living

and to help you budget for your life after divorce List all your assets, with cost and market value, as well as debts. If you’ve

refinanced a loan, the loan application has a listing of the assets and debts. Assemble all documents that you’ll need to trace your separate property

Pitfall #4. Overlooking assets Smaller assets include assets in safe deposit boxes, frequent flyer points, deferred

vacation and sick pay – how to handle them Businesses and side businesses – do they have value? Retirement plans – what they are worth, how to divide them

Second Saturday workshops are presented by agreement with the Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org), the oldest and most trusted non-profit devoted to female financial literacy.

Furnishings, vehicles, jewelry, hobby equipment Ph.T degree (Putting Hubby Through) – whether it has value in your state

Pitfall #5: Ignoring tax consequences The tax consequences of keeping or selling the home – exclusion of $250,000 of

gain for each owner/occupant Rental property can be worth a lot less when you consider the income taxes you’ll

pay when you sell it Taxability of support – child support is non-taxable/ non-deductible, alimony is

taxable/deductible Filing a joint tax return – if he doesn’t report all his income, should you file

jointly? How innocent spouse rules work.

Pitfall #6: Ignorance is bliss Learn as much as you can about the legal process – how divorce works in your

state, what documents you need to gather, the various ways to get through the divorce (litigation, negotiation, mediation, collaborative, do-it-yourself) – recommended books

Learn about your finances – review credit card charges and debit charges on bank statements to get a feel for your expenses, review brokerage statements to see what’s been deposited and withdrawn – get a financial professional to help you as needed

Learn about the family and emotional issues – talk to your counselor about how to handle your spouse and support your family emotionally

Explore your career options – is there a way that you can improve your employment situation to augment your income?

Pitfall #7: Mixing money and emotion Do your crying at home, not in an attorney’s office Don’t let guilt rule you – don’t give him everything out of guilt. Don’t use money as a weapon – that is very expensive and not very effective

Pitfall #8: Not fighting for what’s yours Don’t make nice and sacrifice your own needs: divorce is about survival, not

manners Include all your needs in your budget – health insurance, educating your kids,

saving for the future Don’t underestimate your needs – remember that any alimony you get will be

taxable, so only a portion of it will be spendable

Second Saturday workshops are presented by agreement with the Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org), the oldest and most trusted non-profit devoted to female financial literacy.

Pitfall #9: Not taking control Protect your support with life insurance, so you’ll collect a death benefit if he dies

that you can use for your family’s support Get lump sums wherever possible, rather than being tied to him (for example, use

a QDRO to get your share of a retirement account transferred to your IRA) Listen to your attorney’s advice, but remember that the ultimate decisions are up

to you, since this is your life and your future

Pitfall #10: Not being ready for the worst Don’t let money rule your decisions Don’t stay in a bad marriage for the money – if you need to get out, get out Think of the worst things that can happen and how you will deal with them – what

does actually happen will be more manageable

Pitfall #11: Not developing your career Supporting two households is expensive, so see if you can earn more income If you aren’t working, or have a job instead of a career, this is a good time to

figure out your future career, go back to school

Pitfall #12: Not getting good professional advice Whether you go through mediation, etc. or traditional channels, you’ll need a

good attorney to talk to during the divorce Most people going through divorce will benefit from talking to a therapist and

joining a support group as well. And good financial advice is imperative – I’d be happy to meet with you, this is

how I work, what I charge, and what I can do

Second Saturday workshops are presented by agreement with the Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org), the oldest and most trusted non-profit devoted to female financial literacy.