Scrub, Timothy 1731 an Essay Upon Something (Ocr)
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Scrub, Timothy..An essay upon something: or something of an essay. Being a full andcompleat answer to all that has been, or can be published by the infamous, ...London,
1731. 29pp. Social Sciences
Full Citation | eTable of Contents
Title Page OR of 29
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[
]
lick
that
is his
Country
lofes
the
Adval
t age which he might be
of
to his Country.
Modefl:y
is
certainly an amiable Virtue
but we
are fo accufrom d toMifnomers as
tbe
Lawyers
term
them
that we are very
a.pt
to
deck
Vice with
the Name
of Virtue
andim-
pore al l our felv s as well as others: I have
often hea.rd a timid Bafhfulnef6 caII d by
the Name of Modefty; and have knownMcn
of
bright Parts
do
the Injury to the Publick
of fecretin g themfe ves, belng
confcious that
they
mip ht not make that igu.re in theiye
s
of tbe World
whicb might be
expected
from
them.
Tbis
c iminal
I
my [elf lVas
long
of
this la
of [en
and had not the Interefr of my Count ry a
waken cl me to a modefl:
AiTllrance
thofe
happy Talents with which Nature bas blefs d
me
\\ oul j have been loft in ObEt/ion.
Hunger
has
inJeed often admonih d
me
to {hake
if
this falfe
MQdefty,
whic
leads
us il1to an unj llflinahIe
Indolence:
But even
Hunger
hr over me
wl1idJ
my dear UIlf tlJ has, and wh alone has been
pre-
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Source Citation: Scrub, Timothy.An essay upon something: or something of an essay.
Being a full and compleat answer to all that has been, or can be published by the infamous,
knitty, lousy, shabby, scabby, paultry, insignificant, venemous, billingsgate, pickpocket
son-of-a-whore Caleb DAnvers Esq; By Timothy Scrub, of Rag-Fair, Esq;London, 1731.
Eighteenth Century Collections Online. Gale Group.
http://galenet.galegroup.com/servlet/ECCO
Gale Document Number: CW3306830606
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Copyrightand Terms of UseO SON
L
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U PO
SOM THING
OR
O
N
y
TIMOTHY
SCRUB
of Rag Fair
Efq
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AN
U P O N
SOM THIN
O F N
Being a full and compleat Anfwer to all
that
has bem,
or call be
publiJl ed
by
that
-
famous; Knitty Loufy Shabby Scabby
Paultry Inilgnificant Venemous Billingf-
gate Pickpocket Son of a Whore
Ch LEB
D N Y E R S Efq;
By T I M O T H Y SCRUB of Rag Fair Efq;
And here it cannot
be
improper to ot[er tJe, thP.t any Author.
who his U?ritings has no Manner
of
Regard to
Truth
Imd breaks through the eftablifhed Rules of
Decency
ana
Good Manners
will do
J,mJeIf much more Harm, than
the Perfon
he
writos againjl.
A
ReRder
mrtjl
be extream-
dull, who
is
not able to dlj1ingttrfh
Truth
from
Pal1ion
Ilna
Rearon from Refentmc:nt.
. Letter
to
the King of
Sparfa.
L 0 N IJ 0
Printed for S. W ST near St. PauJ f.
173L
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~
U PO
THING
T
is a
very
gfeat :M isfortune
to a Man of Merit to be
~
ried in Obfcurity: For Want
of being known he not on-
ly
leads an uncomfortable
Life himfelf but
his
Coun
try
is deprived of thore alents
which
might be vaftly advantageous the Pub
lick
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]
lick that is, his Country lofes the
Advan.
tage which he
might
be
of
to his Country.
Modefty is certainly
an
amiable
Virtue;
but we are fa accuR:om d toMifnorners, as the
Lawyers
term them that
we are very
apt
to
deck Vice with
the Name of
Virtue, and
im-
pofe on our [elves, as well as others; have
often heard a
timid
Baihfulnefli call d by
the Name ofModefty;
and
have known
Men
of bright Parts
do
the
Injury
to the
Publick
of
fecreting themfelves,
being
confcious
that
they
might not make that Figure in the Eyes
of
the World, which
might
be expected from
them. . hisis criminal
I
my
felf was long
of
this Clafs of Men;
and
had not the Intereft
of
my Country a
waken d
me to a rnodeR: AfTurance, thofe
happy Talents with l,vhich Nature has blefs d
me} would have been ft in Oblivion.
Hunger
has in
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[
,re
valent enough to
make
me draw
y
Pen.
-
lance
before this have qppear d
in
Print;
but
it
was on the Side
of
a Party and anIy
as a SpeGimen which thinks itfel power
fuHy fupported by
ruth n d ~ e d
I wrote
then againft
my Inclination;
but I was
in
Hopes, t h ~ t thore for whom I have a Ten.,
deney, would have thought it worth
their
while to have bought
me
off,
and have em-
play d
me
onthe other Side ofthe
Queftion;
as I gave
them
a
true Detail
of
my
extraor
dinary
Qualifications.
This was aCting
like a Politician indeed;
for I look upon
it
one
of
:the fureft Marks
of a Statefman, the being quite different
from what he appears,
and
the
having
ruth
Abhorrencc.
-
But I fear I was too refin d for the
Heads
of that Party I wifh to
rerve;
fince I ha
ve
rcmark d, that
a fhort-fighted
Man
b r i n g ~
the ObjeCt he would examine to a very near
Diflance.
The Piece I now write, is to rouze thore
Gentlemen, for whore Intereft I
am
zealous,
to
-
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[ 4 ]
to take notice
of
what I am capable
if
theY
take me up
and: put me
in the u f t o ~ y
of
a
:i\fefTenger
I may
in fpite of themfelves be
of
Service to them for
both
their and
my
NecdIities are
fo great it
is poffible we
might
beget a very feafonable Plot which
would
be
of great Ufe to the Publick at the
prefrnt
Writing. For
I have
little
C1lzfeience and
they
a great
deal
of j l o n ~ } qUilndo Pecunia
gig
nit Iaper
Confcientiam
that
is
whe :
:Mony gets aftride
upon Confcience ris very feldom but the
Iffue is
of
great dvantage to the Common
wealth.
i Oculus v
mi
us
mew If
I and v
J
Friend laid our Heads and Purfes together
faciamus puteum fatis we may do well enough:
And really I don t think there s
any
Inequa-
lity
for Caput llfZ Zmm againft Cmmenam l l -
cuam; and
Caput ftvffatllm
againft Crumenam
fluifatam
is but juft
on
both Sides.
That
I have an
Abounding Head
there
Ef
rays
will
evince
that my
Friend or he
whom I am a
Friend
to has an Aboundinr;;:
Pu;Ie
~ r y
Englifhman
will
bear Witnefs;
for
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[ 5 ]
for
But my Reader has nothing to
do
with what was
going to fay; he pays only
for
what
I r y ~
beg Leave
to
detain my candid Reader
ut a very little longer in this my n t r o ~
duction; and it is to convince him that the
Love
o
my
Coumry
is
the only Reafon which
induces me to appear a fecond Time
in
Print.
was
directed by a Gentleman who
knows my Value to apply myfelfto a cer
tain Perfon in A
~ -- - n-Strer:t.
unhappily
mifl:ook the Door.
fent up
my
laft Per-
formance to the Mafter of the Hcmfe with
the Page doubled down where
:give an
Account
of
my felf: The Gentleman fent
1-Vord, He envy d my happy Talents, wlJic J
[vouid
certainly raife me,
I
addrefs d
my
l to
his
Next-doo, Neighbour.
was
loth to lofe
my
Labour and went
as ad vis d; but The Porter told me
His Mafter had already expericnc d that
Men of my Character only made Things
w ~ r f e
But
heark ye [aid
he
in
Ear can
Joufight?
humm d
on
the Q .leftion, having
never ask d
it
of
my
felf; and after a while
.
begg
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]
obftinately ihuts his Eyes> to ling to the
deaf?
or
advire a Coward not to fuffer re
peated Baftinadoes?
And
yet
we
fee our
Authors of the firft
C1 afs
endeavouring
at
thefe Impoffibilities. The Flying
Pojf
the
Free Briton the
London
Journal are all guil
ty of
there Follies when they attempt the
making an
obftinate, ftupid, ungrateful Peo
ple fenfible of, and thankful for the Blef
:G ngs
they enjoy under
a
vigilant and wife
Adminiftration.
We
are generally malevolent
in
~
Na
ture Self-Love and Envy often fhuts our
Eyes, and clofes our Ears, to
the real
Virtues
of our Fellow-SubjeCt; but guickens the
Sight, and makes us attentive to the Vices
laid
to their Charge, however fiCtitious;
efilecially, if the Subjects
of
our Envy
: as
by his confpicuollS Talents made himfelf
our
S
. /
upeno .
This
is
the evident
Reafon
why that Bole
feu, the Cmftfman is generally read, and the
Papers above mentioned almofi
as
general
ly neglected; tho its plain the Productions
ofthefc Authors thew a Genius vamy fupe
figr to that
of
N T
D
Awzms.
h r ~
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[ 8 ]
There may,
indeed
be another Reafon
~
ledged
..\Thich
is,
that
the
Genius
of
the
En-
glifb is fa
bent
to Politicks,
that they
can
not abide
anyThing
which bears the Mark of
mth
and as Squire aleb is
an
inexhauftible
Source
of Lies it
will
not be thought
f t r a n g e ~
that
the
u ~ u b r t i o n s
ofthat
fenfelefs
Pimp
that defpicable Tool that fcandalous 1n-
cendiary
that
emrious
Detractor that
Son
of
a ,Vhore,
that
Vilain that RaiCal, Beg_
gar Scoundrel, Billingfgate, Sodomitical
Perjlir d,
Empty Heretical Pett
y-fogging,
Dabbler
in
Politicks,
that
Tray
tor, Jacobite,
Enemy to hisCountry,
Hireling Stentoropho-
nick Tube to the
Devil
fhould
allure
while
theWorks ofPatriots,Men ofHonour andCon
fcience, who write from a
publick Zeal who
lay themfelves out for the
publick
Good
and expect no
Reward
but
that
which at
tends i r ~ u c are fo little taken notice of,
that they hardly pay the Prers
and
Paper
What in the
Name of
ti ifer and all his
Fiends the
infpiring Genii of
the
Craft man
would
the People be at? What the raftfmaij
aims at is viiible: He would write his
Patrons
into the Adminiftration; and
then
hopes:
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[ 9 ]
hopes his dirty
Work
will
be
rewarded with
a
Pofl
He
would
make
the People
the
Rounds
of a
Ladder
for his
Patrons
a:ld
h i m ~
felf to mount
by;
and then make them n ~
frble of the
imaginary
Evils
he has found
out
or them.. He makes
a noble
Perran
noted
for his
confummate
Wifdam
and
Ex-
perience,
a Perfon who is the Prodigy of
the Age,
and will make
the
moft
:hining
Figure in
Biftary;
he makes
him, I
[ay, a
Bcar and make
us
the Dogs to bait him.
Vas
there
ever
fuch
Impudence
on
one
Side,
and
fuch Stupidity
on
the other But I hope
to fee the Scoundrel made an Ev que de Cam
pagnl. ,
{pt i I dOni1ei Z
uei1f:diflion
ar::ec
les
pieds
But rot
him,
H:-lllging is too
good for fuch
a
Catamite,
[uell
a
Coxcomb,
fuch a muaal
Scribler,
fuch a T--- d - -
Can
this fellow, this :Mufhroom, prove
any
of the
Evils
which take Birth in his Pa-
pers,
from
their
Con[quences?
No;
the Dog knows he cannot:
But
I
will
prove
the :onfcqucnces
of
thofe
Vices,
which
is
fcurrilous, defamatory Pen
lays
~ t
the Door of a great
Man and)
as we are
C Strangers
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[ JO ]
Strangers to
fuch
Confequences
prove as
clear
as
poilibly any Thing can be proved
that he is an impudent brazen-faced hollow
hearted noify empty Jackanapes a Prig
and a Lying Jack-a-Dandy; and I now give
him theLye. aleb An Vti J Vhen you fay we
are not a rich People you
lye;
not a
p w r ~
ful People you lye egregiouDy; not reve
red for
our Councils at Home and dreaded
abroad the Terror of our Arms you lye
monftrouDy; not a flourifhing Nation you
lye
impudently; that our Trade
is
not
exte-
nuated mea
Extended
you lye horridly;
that we are
a
divided Nation you lye fil
thily; that you ever told a
Word of
Truth
you lie in your Throat; and as I have
crammed the
Lye
there
l l
make you fival
low
it;
I ll thruft it into your Stomach;
ram it into your Bowels where it fhall
work till you make more wry Faces than
you would with
a
Fit
of
the Cholick or the
Singing
TOur
Penitential P[alm under a
Beam
defl:incd for fuch Rogues as you
are.
Tis very common for the rafifmanto lay
to
w
Charge
nf
a
gi erzt im
a
moft
noble Per-
b;7
the enriching himfelf and
.Family as
.a
heinoui
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i
]
heinous Crime; and not lefs frequently does
he
tax
him
with
Folly: How evident a
Con-
tradiction is this?
Had
he
tax d him with
being
a eggflr and a
Fool
the
Puppy
had
been confifient. ut it
is
an incorrigible
illiterate Blockhead.
There is Jlardly a Crime
which
any vi-
cious Minifier
has been
iloted
for in Hif-
tory, but he rakes it up, and lays the Loa
at the Door of this good
and
great
Man
and
he made
to
anfwer as the Principle,
for
the Mifcarriages, Blunders, and Overfights
of other People, though
il l
another King-
dam: Nay, I have heard this truly noble
Patriot
accufed
as the Author of Wood s
Pro
jects, both of that of
the
a l f ~ e n c e in
Ire-
land
(though
I
believe this
great
Ivlan was
never in that Kingdom,) and of that in
ngland
for refining or fmelting Iron. And
yet I have
heard hIs
Enemies acknowledge
he
never yet
rcfin d
Upon
any Thing; and
that
he
woulcf
as
foon
meddle with
Poifon
as
Fire.
this g n ~ a t Man anfwer d the Picture
which the i nfamous Caleb draws for
him
the
Confequences
would
[Don
juftify the Charge
C 2 . fat
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[
]
for if he bv bribed Parliaments
:l1:ruck
at
-
our L i b e r t i e ~ ;:ue not the Funds fettled
-by
ACt of Parliament? Has he not a fl:anding
Army;>
and cm
it
l1 Jt 1112.kc
thole Funds
pcrpetu:.il,
and
f l l ~ u r c Parliaments unne
c d r ~ r T > And
has
any Thing like
this
been
att ;mpted? Has a de:l;otick
rower
been
ever
fqilinted
at?
~ Y
Jocs
not
the AfTertion
of
t h ~ t
R-::ptile,
Cde: prO\:(
th:lt grc:lt
7\ a
1125
not;li 1g
more at Heart tLau
cur Li
belti;:::> ; [Cl if a Parliament is the Barrier
b ; : t ~ \ e c n
the
Prerogative ()f the Crown,
and
the
Liberty
of
the
People, how
much
are
\ C
oblig d to him who 11aJces it his
BuD-
n::[s to pick
out l \ l e l ~
of Probity
to dif-
c:::uge fo great a Truft and guides
the
C h n i ~ of the Freeholders at the Expence
of
his Puree,
knowing
how
eafily the
com
mon People may be impofed on by fpecious
Harangues, imaginary
Dangers,
and ficti
t us Zeal.
A heavy Charge of this
Male-Content
is,
The
Spaiiiai ds
taking
our
Ships.
Had a noble
Colonel raviihed a l\Iaid
of
Honour,
would be as
jufl:
to
condemn
the Mother of
the
Maids
for the Rape: But
is the
1Varm
iNho
brings this Charge a
proper
Judge
to
d e t e r ~
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[ 13
determine w11at is moft
proper?
Or can he
tell what Meafures are deiign d to aifert
the Honour of the nglifb Name, and
vin_
dicate our Dominion of the Sea? Why, No
and
that
is onc of t Rcafons for the O
verflowing of his
Gall
This feditious.
Fel
low, were he to
lay
down a Scheme of
Government,
and
not
a
vc
a
Hand
in
the
Management, would mutiny againfl: his
own l\1eafures.
If
we are forbearing, in
Hopes
of
con[erving the Peace
of
urope
we betray the Honour of the Nation,
and
ruin
our Merchants,
for
Impunity
encou
rages t ~ f frequent Depredations And
ihould wc exert ourfeJves, and demand Sa
tishtGion Sword-in-Hand,
we
l)lunge the
Nation into Calamities We are too poor
to
fupport
a
,Var;
and,
like
an
old
Maftiff
~ r h i h has loft his Teeth, we may lay hold,
but ihall not annoy: The harge of Peace
has rencler d
us
unable to fupport the -
pence
of
a
War
Now, who knows how to
pleafe this
laufy
Ragamuffian
?
Win
you
be
content with Peace? No. Will
you be
plea-
[l d with a War? No. A Truce? No. And
I
think tis plain
by
his \Vritings,
that
he
is not at all fatisfy d with the prefent hap
py
hermaphroditical State we now enjoy;
that
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that
juR
Medium
of
neither Peace enough
to
become
luxurious, nor War enough
to
drein
us
Were
I a paffionate Man, this vile
Pro-
cedure would tempt me. beyond Patience;
and. wou d I follow the Example of the
fcun y
\Vri
ters on
alcb s
Side, and
retort
their Billingfgate DialeCt, how juflly might
I expecr to be excus d by the Publick; but
Decency and Mildnefs are always the Com-.
panions of
Truth
and Juftice. The Mode
ration with
which
I
treat this contemptible
Animal, is
greater
Proof
of
the
Integrity
of my Caufe, than
the
injurious beggarly
Language,
with
which
he embellifhes his
nonfenfical
Productions, can be of the
Up-
rightnefs
of
that he efpouIes. What he
wants
in
Yrttth
he fupplies
with
Scurrility
and
if he can t
argue,
he
ihews
he
can
caU
Names.
Rut
Reproof is loft on
him;
and I
mifpend Time in epdeavouring y any Re-
prefelltatiol1 to
correa
the Manners of fuch
a knitty loufy Tatterdemalion. I fhall
therefore proceed, and
hew
a
few
more
of
this
oxcomb s
Blunders.
Yot
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[
J
You hall find
in
almoft one and the fame
:Sreath, he talks
of
the Poverty of the Na
tion, and our bribing all the neighbouring
States. :Now Caleb prick up your
fs s
Ears, and learn Argumentaticm. f we are
poor, how can we bribe our Neighbours?
f
we
can bribe our Neighbours,
how
can
we be poor ? You
fee
how eafily you are
confuted. This
is
your Way of forming Syl
logifms:
Who
tells Lyes
is
a Swundrel
ut newy told a Lye in Life
Ergo, am a
Scoundrel
Go to the Schools again, you Puppy: You
a
Politician
You mine
A
Wou d I recriminate upon your fquab
Patron, which I [corn to do, though
he is
a
:f ovenly
dirty, ftinking, cowardly, beg
garly Tun-of-Guts, you would be too bury
in
inventing Lyes for his Juftification to
be abufi ve and I don t know but
it
would
be the anIy Method to make you write
fomewhat more like a Gentleman, and
tre t
you. Betters with a
little
Decency; ~
I
beg
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[ 6
J
I eg Pardon
for fiepping afiele to fpeak
about fuch a
C
fe
who
never
bites beyond. the Skin
and
oFlly caufcs
an
Itching when
he
fancies he has
made
his
Antagonift [mart.
As
I
abominate
the
Raking
into
Dirt
I
will leave the filthy Defcriptions of this
Pfeudo-Statefinan ; and as I promifed
ihew
the
neceffary Confequences flowing from
the Adminiihation
of
a felf-interefled lvIi
nifter;
and
as
all
the
orId
will
acknow
ledge we neither feel nor apprehend fuch
Confequences I fhall flaili Conviction in
his
Face
and every
Man
of Sente
will
pifs
upon
him if
ever he dares to prefurne to
write
again.
I
ihall
to
this
End chufe
ap
proved Hiflory; or eIre as he has the -
pudence
of
the Devil he may
pretend
to
deny my
Inferences fhould
I
make em.
I ihall
only
add
one
Thing
more to
ihew
that I am calm nd r.ot to be moved by
his l\lalice and
Calumnr;
and that is
he fuould hereafter fupported by a tripplc
Front of Bra[s take again
his
Pen in Hand
and continue his abuflve Way of Railing
he {hall be anfwered with regard to
own Cbarauc:- with
oo
eafm
and
I
hope
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[
17
]
hope he
will
though I know him vilain.,
ouf1y unjufl:)
allow
I
have in
this Pam-
phlet
treated
him in
another Sort of Man.,
ner, than
he treats his Adverfaries.
But
I
mufl beg Pardon of my Reader for
a Moment, that I may, z
Pa.ffant,
take
notice of a Lunatick, Tatterdemalion Gaol
Bird, who is not of Confequenle enough
to be
the
Particular SubjeCt of my Pen.
This
Fellow
had the confummate
p u ~
dence to endeavour
at
introducing the
Tur .
kifb Polic.v among us
Protejlants
; for he hacl
read, that when in mky Perfon had fur
fer
l fame
netorious
InjltlJ in which the
Prime
ViJiet was a Confederate, or Principal or for
which he had not caufed Juflice be done,
the
Party injur d had Liberty to
~ f p e l
to
the
Grand Seignior himfelj: The Ceremony is
this: He who is aggriev d puts Fire on his
Head, enters the Seraglio, runs haftil T
anl no Boiy dare flop him,) till he comes
to the Prefence
of
the Sulta11, to whom
he
has the Liberty to flate his I 1jmJ .
Now
this
Monkey,
being
hot
headed,. and
carrying the Fire of Rancour in his Heart,
took
it into
his Fool s Noddle
,
that by a head-
D lefs
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[
]
Iefs Tale of imaginary Wrongs fuffer'd from
a moft noble
Perfon
who
is
as
hul trl re
and gocd
as this Rafcal
is
enviottS
and
illy
I
fay,
he,
like a Puppy, fancy'd he could
fet
an Eng-
lifh Court in a Flame; and in
his
raving
it imagining our King
a
great u r k ~
and a great
Man
to be a Prime Vifier,
writes a Petition
to
his Majefty, and de-
fires the
Bow-String might be rent to
_ ~ -
and he might have
his
Head And this,
upon my Reputation, upon
my
Veracity,
upon my Word and Honour, and on my
Credit,
as
an impartial Author, is the Pur-
port of this Concomb's Petition.
. 'What meant he,
you'll
fay, by fuch an
idle Procedure? Why, the Fellow's mad I
told you and he's a
Milhometan,
and was
born
in
Turk ,
let
him deny
it
as
much
25 he pleafes: And
as
there it's nothing
furprizing to fee the man Abject rife at
once
to the highe Dignities, fa he had
given himfe1f this great Man's Poit; and I
fancy the following Story fell in his '\Vay'
and occanon'd his Vinons of Grandeur.
t
happcn'd it s not a
H a l f ~ P e l 1 1 1 Y
1\tatter how) that in Cvnjlrllirinople there
w ~
\
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[ ]
a w s o
great a Scarcity of F1eih,
that
who was
at Market
at
the
ufual
Time
for making
their
Day's Provifion, were
obliged to
take
up
with
Duke
umphrey s
Table. Now, a Cook belonging to a
Chamber
of
Janizaries came one Morn
ing
too
late
to
get
any
Meat;
the Con
fequence of which he was
well
fatisfy'd
would be a liberal Baftinado; for that
Chamber of Janizaries would
that Day
faf t . The Reflection on the Punifhment
he was fure of, as
if
he had
it in
his Poc-,
ket
put him into a violent Paffion: He
told his Misfortune to the People
in
the
Streets exclaimed againfl:
the
GQvern
ment;
and,
with
all the Generolity ima-
ginable, was making :at v y Step, a
Prefent of fame Magiftrate or principal
Officer to the Devil.
The
Grand Seignior palling
in
Difguife,
and feeing this poor Fellow in fuch a
taking
ask'd
him
the
Reafon
of
his
Pallion.
I
fuall get no Remedy
nor you n
great SatisfaCtion, faid the Fellow,
in
fa-
2
lifying
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[20 ]
c: t i s f ~ y i l g :rour Curiality; for the Grand
Seianior
alone
is able to redrefs the
l
'\\'rong by which I
am
fme to fuffer;
t h ~ T ~ o u g i 1 t s o which is the Caufe ofmy
prefent Trouble. Howe','er, on the repeat-
eel Iaflances of the Sultan, the ellow
told him his ;vIisf(xtune ; and added, that
t 1e Prime Viller, and
other
Officers, were
too intent
on
their ovm Intereils, and tl1e
c,
er:ric11ing
t h e m f e h e ~
to
loole
into
anJ
reaify t11cfe Difoders which t y thought
G bebw their
Dignity
to infpeB:; but,
were I Prime ]\{inifier, I would take
Care that t is great City ihould be fa
well
fupply'd with Fldh that it ihould
be found at
all
Hours
of
the
Da Y.
a Nmv, prar cDntinued he, what Good
has the
Telling my
Misfurtune done
yeu?
Or
what Likelihood is there ofmy
eiCapi:lg PUJliihment
?
~
Grand
Seignior
returning to the
Seraglio,
c o n f i d e ~ d 011 what the Cook
{C
had faid ; and fending for him, made
m
Prime Viiler; and it's recorded that
c the City was
wdl [en/J
under his Ad-
;
minjftration ; and that he proved
an
Ex-
cellent Minifter, Kow
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[ 2 I ]
Now this
fool,
having,
I fuppofe,
nay,
~ t fignifies fuppofing,) read this
to-
ry, and I lJ
take
my Oath he has read it,
tho I never
faw
the
forry Dog in my
Life,)
I
fay, he,
upon the
Reading
the Story
I have
juft
given
you, the Numfcull,
the
Zany,
the
Bedlamite, the Pierro of
the Political
Stage, the Harlequin,
and Scaramouch,
thought
Noire:
Impudence, and
the
Title
of ,Squire, which we allow, in the Mob-Ac
ceptation;
he has
a
Right
to,)
would
raife
him from a Gaol,
as Truth did
the
Cook,
a Court: But, he is a dirty, fenfelefs,
Coxcombical, fartical,
turdical, phiftical,
and
fcphiil:ical, afthmatical Son of
a
,
I ;will
no longer
tire my Reader s
Patience,
y
a
farther Refutation
of
the Booby s 1Vri
tings, which
I
would fcorn
to
wipe my
wi t h; and fa I will
methodically
proceed, as I at firft intended, to fhew,
that the raftfman
is a
poor, worthlcfs,
cankered, fe If-interefted,
vilifying Incendia-
ry, y laying
the Confequences down
from
Hifiory) of fuch, and fo
vile a Minifter,
~ s
he
would infinuate,
like
a
Kennel-Raker,
as he
is,) that
our moft noble
Patriot
actu
ally
reprefents.
I t
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It
is a filly idle
lYfethod,
taken by
[oJI1e
of
oill Authors
and
I
myfelf
have
fome-
times fanen
into it, of
begging Pardon
of
their Readers
for
a Digreffion.
I
think
it a Meanners below the CharaCter of a
diftinguifhed
Writer;
and therefore moft
heartily
beg
my
own
Pardon for
having
lead
my
[elf by Force of
Cuftom
into [0
foul an Error;
that
is I
Timothy
Si.mb of
Ragg-Fair Efq;. having inadvertently affront-
ed Timothy
Scmu
of the
aforefaid Place, a
very noted Political Vlriter do make this
publick
Acknowledgment
and
heartily
beg
his
Pardon.
For
tbe
future fhall therefore to keep up
to
the
Dignity of a
Son
of A/oil} fiep
afide
from my Subject as I fhall fee Occafion
without giving
any Rearon for my fo doing:
or troubling my
Head,
whether my
Reader
is
ple2.s J or dif;.f leas d.
Jnft as I was going
to
infbnce what I
have bf fore
promis d
one
brought
me a
paultry, faHy Farcel of Rhimes called by
t he u ~ h l r a Poem.
is
intitled, Sir Robert
Brafi
;
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[
3
]
Brafs; and the
RafCal that wrote
it
has pro.
pban d
the Name of Butler,
by
faying After
the
Manner of Hudibras.
This
virulent Piece
is
a
Galimatias,
an
Oglio,
a
Hotch Potch of
L
yes and
Nonfenfe fupported with an
imitable Vein
of
Dulnefs; and
is
a Proof
of
the
Weaknefs
of that Party
which
muft
have
Recourfe
to
fuch
poor
Stuff
to keep
up the Spirits of the Faction. You fhall
fee how eafily
I
will
refute and
confute
this envenomed Wretch this
malignant
poor A Worm who muft
certainly
exneB: a canfiderable
Reward
for his
In
wecrives
You, Sir
who
write like any
Mars
A; e OU a Poet? ~ you mine A -;
A
Poet. Foul ne'
er
wrote Jucb
Ditty
And
when
tbey
IJe,
their Lycs are ' witty.
LJing alom
uiV
mver do,
And
IDr your Ve;fe, twill male oue -
Tott
think
we ll
take mmleaning Jingle
For Poems? No Jot poor Tom Dingle;
No
you
loufy, [lar'Ving 1Vight;
On
Lines like
JOurs 'T.V9 com to
Fol'
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[
For wor fe
than
any
Jakef
they
JUnk
So
for the future ve Jour Ink
l\ow I have dOlle with this CoxcoJ7lb
and given him a full I may fay a kiZ k-
doWi2
Anfwer;
I hall caft a Weaver s
Knot
on the Thread of
my
Difcourfe where
it
be-
broke
off
and
proceed_
One EeElas
in
the
Time
of Sultan lvL;z-
homet
ELm
who fupported
by
the Grand-
~ l o t h e r
of the Grand Seignor rofe to the
higheft
Dignities;
and.
by
the Metbods
common}
y
purfued
by
wicked
.i\Iinifrers
among which was coining Afj efS with
more Tin than Silver and forcing them
oll. the People
for
good l...Ioney poiTeifed
himfelf
of
immenfe Riches.
But
his
Thirft
of more growing with his increafing
1realth, and
his
Ambition
ftill rifing with
his Power he oppreifed his FellowSubjeCts
till
they
began to
think
of
doing them-
feI ves Jufiice: BeRm percei ving the Re
..
fentment of
the People grow high thought
a
Change of Government
the
only
Way
to
[ccure himfclf
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[
]
cordingly projected
to
dethrone h o m ~ t
Ban and fet up his Brother.
In
Purfuance
of this Defign which the Queen
Grand-
Mother readily came into he affembled
his Partifans and fill d the Streets of
Con-
flaminople;
but the Vigilance and
Loyalty
o f
Melek Ahmet
defeated
all his
Views; pre-
ferv d the Prince and this Traytor
m et
with the
Fate
he merited. was made the
Scorn
and
Derifion of the People whom he
had fcorn d and derided
and
died
by
a
Cord.
As the Eng ijh are as fenfible of
Injury
as the Turks and much lefs accufi:omed to
defpotick Power; and as we fee no Mutinr
no
Relentments
from
the
People to
the
moll:
NQble Per{on
who is
the Envy
of weak
and
difcarded .Wotld-bt
Minifiers we may
very.
well conclude we labour under no Oppref-
flon ; and all the Evils mentioned
in
the
Rafcally
Craftfman
are
purely
imaginary;
for no other Conclufion can be made, ex-
cept that we are a degenerate, pufilla -
mous People and funk
under
Oppreffion;
which I believe the mo impudent
of
the
Cr4tfman s
lying,
fcandalous infamous.
E weak
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[ 26 J
weak, and divided
Faction will not dare to
mutter.
I hope
my
Reader will obferve, that
have throughout this Effay ever had art
Eye to
Deceitc ,
and kept ftriCtly
within the
Bounds
of
Good
anners
which
Example
would be of Ufe to
our
Ad
v d f r i ~ s
could
they follow
it.
But
that can t
be eXpected,
where Railing mnft make up
for
Want
of
1vlatter,
and ill Language muft fupply the .
Place
of
Argumer.t;
and that this
is
the
Cafe
of
that defpjcable Party, and their
louf}r ragged
Hirelings,
I think
is fufficient-
y
proved by their
own
vll1anous, nonfen
fical, virulent,
imi?ious, a t h ~ i : i c a l
trayte-
rous Libels: And
d
nand
em,
for a Pack
If
obflinate, harr;1:headed, in-
-
corrigible,
opinionated lvfongrells, I
fhall
fur the
f lure think em
below my Notice,
and
do
here declare,
that in Cafe they
have
any
of
them) the
Impudence
to
make
a-
ny Reply
to the
prerent Pamphlet,
1 ihall
fcorn
to
anfwer their Ribaldry, and will
corr:mit their ,, ork
to
the
only
Place
viII
defer-le (ihould it come to
my
Hands)
.
WIthout
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[ 7
without reading it Reader dieu LeG
you fuould not happen to perceive I
am
come to a Conclufion
my
E{fay and
vainly expect more I think proper
to
let
you know I have now made an End Wit
nefS the Word
N