by Caitlin Bradley and Malia GriggsIllustrations by Erin Chiet

If you watched “The Daily Show” a few months ago, you remember the twelve minutes host Jon Stewart spent bashing the Palmetto State and his subsequent proclamation: “South Carolina has stepped up its game—from its Appalachian-trail-fabricating-Patagonian-gorp-munching Governor to its colorful-Socialist-fearing-Urkel-quoting Senator DeMint.” And he’s right. South Carolina has successfully found a place in today’s news. From the Cocks to FU to BJU, from Mark’s mistress to Miss Teen South Carolina, from Borat’s bus ride to Phelps’ bong bust, the state of South Carolina is infamous for its embarrassing blunders that, too often, make national headlines. Before you start grumbling about how we’re hating on your state (and this is your state, dear reader), let’s get the facts straight: Both authors were born and raised in Columbia, South Carolina. Our parents took us to Riverbanks Zoo before there was a botanical garden and we bubbled in the same circles of the PACT test for eight years. We know that real barbecue sauce is mustard based, and we know the correct pronunciation of Huger Street. We may not wear Lilly Pulitzer dresses or even claim to have Southern accents, but when we travel outside of the state, we are proud to call it our home. Ever since our state’s secession during the Civil War, we’ve gotten a bad rap from the media, and every time we slip up,

we make the front page. The tone of any story about our state is “Oh, there goes South Carolina again.” But here’s the thing—you see, we recognize the faults of our state and accept the consequences, but we are able to laugh at them too. The state of our state is something we love to hate. If you take a closer look at the way the media presents South Carolina, you’ll fi nd that we are generally portrayed as a conglomeration of ignorant, redneck, Confederate-fl ag-fl ying, pickup-truck-driving, grammatically-challenged, conservative fools. And by golly, there is a portion of our population that drives muddy trucks and fl ies fl ags that look like distorted Union Jacks. They’re happy with their lives, and that’s fi ne by us. But that leads us to wonder—are we merely playing into stereotypes we have been given or have we always been this way? Why are we the way we are? Do we deserve the attention we receive from the media, and above all, why do we laugh along? In order to better answer these probing questions, we embarked on a spiritual and intellectual journey through Russell House University Union to ask some of our classmates how they view South Carolina. What we found is that people generally think of this state in three different ways: as either fun, family-centered, or more than a little backwards. Jillian Pulverenti, a sophomore from New

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Jersey, told us, “I had never been to South Carolina before, so any connotation I had of the state was associated with Myrtle Beach and Charleston and big football games.” Her words call to mind a common national perception: South Carolinians spend less time hitting the books and more time hitting the beach. This isn’t difficult to imagine, as you can drive from the mountains to the beach in a matter of hours, not to mention that you can still catch a warm day on the dunes, even in December. Families love to vacation here, but tourist-driven beaches and Hard Rock Cafes are often all they kno w of our state. The second perspective of South Carolina deals with family and faith. Amanda Riley, a sophomore from Ohio, said, “Before coming here, I thought South Carolina was a place with a lot of good family values—a place with closer-knit people.” Alex Stroman, Student Body Vice President and a native of South Carolina, rationalized that this sense of closeness is caused by the way true Southerners never seem to leave. “Southern families come from the same area. People don’t move away, and this breeds closer-knit communities,” he said. Unlike other regions of the country, such as the North, that are famed for the movement of people and the tradition exhibited by small ethnic or religious groups, the South is more well-known for a culture not brought in, but brought up. The third and, perhaps, most complicated view of South Carolina is that we are a population of slow-moving, uneducated morons who frequently find ourselves in situations as hairy and unattractive as the mullet. People, and the media, are quick to mock

our state. “This guy I know from New York doesn’t even consider this state a part of the U.S.,” said John Gulledge, a sophomore from South Carolina. “He calls us ‘South America.’” Aaron Johnson, a sophomore from outside Columbia, explained it perhaps more eloquently: “The media tends to make fun of South Carolina. We’re portrayed as backwards. I think there’s some truth to it—having a Confederate flag on display is pretty awful. This shows we’re not a very progressive state.” While bigger “melting pot” cities like New York and L.A. thrive off of a mesh of cultures and ever-shifting diversity, the diversity of South Carolina emphasizes long-standing traditions. The idea of Southern hospitality stresses the beauty of what is already here. Instead of concentrating on change, South Carolinians invite you into their homes with a glass of sweet tea, onto their sunny beaches, onto the sweetgrass basket-lined streets of Charleston, and cannot understand how you could ever desire a different way of life. The slowness of progression that is so often perceived as ignorance is nothing more than a defiant pride, running as deep as the history of this state. If you have lived in South Carolina (or at least visited), then you can recognize that this sense of doing things the way they’ve always been done is present in every facet of the culture—from dress to diet—and it’s a bit ridiculous, you have to admit. Children are given last names as first names and are expected to go to cotillion. Everyone dresses up for everything, football games included. Girls (who are perfectly tanned and

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frosted) wear pink and green dresses with tie-on pearls, their quilted Vera Bradley purses swinging from their arms. Boys strut around in shorty-short khakis and boat shoes with their polo shirts popped and their sunglasses secured loosely around their necks by croakie straps. Monograms, religious symbols, and palmetto trees are emblazoned on everything from bath towels to beer koozies, and the island on which you vacation must be announced by an oval-shaped bumper sticker on your SUV. On Sundays, nothing stays open except church. After the sermon, families head home for a late lunch of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, iceburg lettuce salad, banana pudding, and Diet Coke. “There is such an emphasis on side dishes down here,” said Will Saitta, a junior from New York. “Or ‘fixin’s’, as you might say.” We’re not trying to blatantly insult the South Carolina lifestyle. Although seriously, is tailgating in a dress and heels necessary? What’s up with all the pine straw, potpourri, and wooden reindeer at Christmas? And as for the weather—well, as Saitta puts it: “You people get way too excited about a flake of snow.” If anything, we’re certain the true South Carolinians reading this will identify and do what they do best—laugh along. We dress up, eat the same foods, and bear our family names in an attempt to preserve a culture that has grown around one place. “South Carolina has a stigma attached to it—that we’re dumb, racist, backwards. A lot of this has to do with the prejudices the South has had in the past,” Stroman said, “and yes, sometimes our negative media attention is deserved. But people like Michael

Phelps bring it upon themselves and on the state.” There’s more to us than pearls and peroxide, and there’s more to us than, like, such as, a governor who tried to reject the stimulus package in South Carolina because he was too busy stimulating his own package in Argentina. For some, the national hostility the media deals us is a source of discomfort, but for others, it is a reason to willfully resist change—a change of mind, a change of pace and ideals. We are not a perfect state and cannot excuse some of the darkest periods of our past, but we are a state based on traditions as stubborn and as difficult to destroy as kudzu. And if you’ve ever been in a disagreement, you know that it is much easier to argue a point than to admit you are wrong. If all South Carolinians threw up their hands and said, “Okay, you win. We’ll change now,” then we would debase the very foundation of pride and history we have built as a culture. We do not want to spend the rest of our lives apologizing for the past, no matter the grievances we have caused. So—seriously, y’all, keep wearing your flip-flops and North Face jackets in our seventy-degree winters, chowing down on grits, and enjoy your time on “The Daily Show” because…hell, it’s funny. And perhaps, with this renewed sense of self, just as how in the 19th century we were the first to secede, in the 21st, we will be the first to succeed*.

*We refuse to pay royalties for that quote, Stephen Colbert. YOU LIE! Well, not really. We just had to put that in. Thanks a lot, Joe.

YouLie!