hey!How have you been? In good spirits, I believe.Well, whatever you're about to read in here, is one perspective. I would like a second perspective, just to complete the picture and I really hope you cooperate. This mail has been in my drafts for about a few weeks now, the only reason being my indecisiveness about myself. Sending you this now, because I want the new year to be what it is, new, and not let old things from the past creep in. I seriously don't know how to start or how to tell you exactly what is it that I need you to solve for me. Crazy, you say? I hope not. :)You see I never was a person who likes surrounding herself with too many people. I like my solitude and then that's probably what makes the people who i manage to get close to indispensable, like nothing could ever replace them. Everything was fine between us, well, more than fine i guess till I started to feel something was wrong, somewhere. I even asked you a couple of times, if something was up and you said everything was fine. I tried believing that, but then you weren't really convincing and I definitely wasn't convinced. I let it drop for some time, for the fear of coming off as nagging. But worrying got the better of me and i ended up complaining to you about how you haven't been yourself lately and that you have been ignoring me and even tried to make you promise that you wouldn't do it and you somehow didn't make that promise which worried me even more. I was even rude to you at times and didn't wanna talk to you. Every time I tried talking to you about it, like if everything's fine then why do I feel this way, you tried deflecting the topic, got defensive or simply said no and walked away. Then started the decline in the texts, then you completely ignoring my calls and so on and so forth. I tried telling myself you were busy but then, you could have called back. No one's that busy. Talking to you was the easiest thing in the world, now somehow, I think twice before sending you a text or even calling you, for now it feels like I somehow bother you. And believe me when i say it isn't such a nice feeling. Remember the note along with a picture of us that i gave you for your birthday? And remember the number of times I asked you, if you read it? I wasn't really expecting you to cry out a sea or write me back another epic but a simple thanks would have been okay, heck even a smiley would have sufficed. But all I got was anushk telling me how he read that note before you did, and, I still don't know if you've read it even now. Why am i talking about that simple note here as if that's the single most important thing between us? The very same reason you asked me to listen to the mp3 you sent me, just because you thought I hadn't. Acknowledgments for the right reason somehow become necessary. I tried texting you, tried calling you, but to no avail. You never took the texts seriously and you conveniently avoided the calls. Your not wanting to be in contact seemed to bother me for the simple fact that it made me feel unimportant, unloved and uncared for. Now put all that together and on loop for about 6 months, coz that's probably how long I have felt this way, and you would know why i am writing all this to you, why do I probably sound paranoid and why telling you all this is important. Nobody likes being ignored, certainly not by the ones they love and definitely not without a reason and I am no different.I do not intend to sound like somebody who, you know, is trying to tell you, oh you did this wrong and did that wrong or anything. What I really wanna ask is, did I do or say something that hurt you and hence this indifference towards me? Because if it is, then you should tell me and all i request is a chance to try and set it right. If it is not me but something else, then too, you should tell me, because I apparently, used to be, to use your own words, "the girl you could talk to about anything and not think twice" and I want you to trust her one more time. I wouldn't have written to you if it weren't absolutely necessary. I usually call up and talk things out, but in this case, when I wasn't even sure if you would pick up my call, talking things out seemed nearly impossible. I am sorry if I ruined your holidays just now, but I couldn't hold it in any longer and I fear any delay might make this permanent. I have been hurt enough, and denying that there isn't any problem, is and never will be a solution. Relationships change over time, for the better or for the worse. It is quite possible that you don't want me to be a part of your life anymore, don't wanna be friends with me anymore. But atleast tell me that and give me a reason and I promise I'll walk away.Don't make me play this guessing game, of trying to figure out where I stand with you, am tired. Your reply is important. A lot depends on it. I am done listening to your "everything's fine" statement because your actions don't show this. I want you and need you to be truthful this time. All I am asking you for is a reason, whether the reason is to stay or walk away is your decision. Call me when you've made one. Love,