Sacraments of Service

Matrimony

A Lifelong Covenant• God’s plan for Marriage

– Importance of God’s covenant– Planned by God at the beginning so that man and woman would be pledged

to each other, and to the procreation and education of children– Man leaves his mother and father and clings to his wife, and the two shall be

one– Marriage is a sign and symbol of God’s covenant with his people

• Marriage and the Old Covenant– Developed slowly– Hosea

• Depicts the unconditional love of God for the Israelites

– Song of Songs• Love between a man and woman, God and Israel, Jesus and the Church

• The Wedding at Cana– Jesus’ presence as a blessing

• Sermon on the mount– Exhortation on divorce

Witnesses to Love

• Modeled on Christ’s love for the Church– “24But as the Church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be

to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,…”

• Equal partners– Talk things over and make mutual decisions as

adults• Indissoluble– As the Church and Christ can not be separated so

it is with the marriage covenant

The Rite of Marriage• Always public and always in Church

– God’s love will be shared by the married couple and also the community

– In the presence of a priest or deacon, two other witnesses and the community• Hears consent • Gives blessing

• The matrimonial covenant becomes a– Religious action– An act of worship

• Ministers of the Sacrament– The couple marry each other

• Essential element of the rite– Exchange of marriage vows

• Words• action

Requirements of Marriage• Unity

– Marriage unites the husband and wife in an unbreakable and exclusive union. Adultery and polygamy are sins against unity of marriage

• Indissolubility– The marriage bond cannot be dissolved. Spouses make a

commitment to lifelong fidelity. Divorce and marrying another is a sin against the permanence of Marriage

• Openness to children– The couple must be open to children and accept them as gifts from

God. Therefore, artificial contraception is a sin against this openness.• Natural Family Planning (NFP) is accepted by the Church as a way to limit the

size of your family. This method charts a woman’s fertile time and can be used to prevent a pregnancy.

• Artificial contraception includes: birth control pills, “morning after” pills, condoms, diaphragms and other barriers

Lifelong Journey• The Grace of Matrimony

– Prepares the newly married for a lifelong journey– Helps unconditional love– Strengthened for fidelity to each other

• Domestic Church– Foundation for the Catholic family– First teachers– Extended family helps

• The Gift of Children– A gift not an entitlement– Education– Care– Love

Preparing for a Catholic Marriage• Meet with your parish priest as soon as you are

engaged.• Set aside at least six months for preparation of the

event and to reflect on your relationship and your plans for the future. Set aside time for prayer and discernment.

• Attend an approved marriage preparation program.– Pre-Cana conferences

• Meet with a married couple• Converse with other engaged couples• Priest or deacon

Are you ready?• Evaluate your friendships:

– How well do I listen?• Do I always argue small points?• Do I allow others to have a choice in a friendship?• Do I dominate relationships?

– How do I handle conflict?• Impulsively?

– How do I feel when my plans are upset for some reason?• Am I angry, resentful, or flexible?• Do I look for ways to include others’ needs in “Plan B?”

– Do I admit it when I’m wrong and do I offer an apology?• If I’m right, do I seek to reconcile the misunderstanding?• Do I bring up past mistakes?• Do I understand the “Art of Arguing”?

FOCCUS QuestionsGeneral Questions Agree Disagree Uncertain

We are in agreement about the husband and wife roles each of us expects of the other in our marriage relationship.There are qualities about my future spouse that I do not respect.

We have discussed the ways our families solved problems and how this may affect our problem solving.We disagree with each other over some teachings of the church.

I am concerned that in-laws may interfere in our marriage relationship.My future spouse and I have agreed we will not have children.

My future spouse and I can talk about our sexual fears, hopes and preferences.We are in agreement about how we will make financial decisions between us.I sometimes feel that this may not be the right person for me to marry.My future spouse and I agree that our marriage commitment means we intend to pledge love under all circumstances.

UnMarry?

Divorce• Attempts to dissolve what is

indissoluble• Not accepted by the Church• Is only valid by the state

Annulment• The marriage never took

place. Its validity is in question.

• Annulments are granted by the Church after a thorough investigation.

• Since a valid marriage did not exist the persons are free to marry in the Church