Rural youth are:• Up to 4 times more likely to commit suicide• Up to 5 times more likely to be involved in a motor

vehicle accident• Up to 4 times more likely to commit an alcohol

related crime• Up to 3 times more likely to die from external

causes and injury• Up to 7 times more likely to become pregnant• Up to 11 times more likely to experience physical

abuse if female (as compared to males) living in a rural community

• 1 in 3 rural youth aged 14-19 have been victims of alcohol related verbal and/or physical abuse

• More likely to use illicit substances

Resilience Rather than focusing on the shortcomings of young people who are at risk of academic failure, drug use, or other at-risk behaviors, the resilience idea attempts to identify factors that account for success

(Gonzalez, R. & Padilla, M, 1997).

“Resilient children have a positive attitude toward their environment, hold a strong sense of purpose, develop a strong internal strength enabling them to see life’s obstacles as challenges that can be overcome.”Herbert 1996

Stanley Coopersmith observed that four basic components of self-esteem are:

* significance/identity

* competence/achievement

* power, and

* virtue/purpose

Mastery

Belonging

Generosity

Independence

Belonging

Child rearing was not just the province of biological parents, but children were nurtured within a larger circle of significant others.

Dr Karl Menninger, observes that today’s children are desperately pursuing “artificial belongings” because this need is not being fulfilled by families, schools and neighbourhoods. Living with and loving other human beings who return that love is the most strengthening and salubrious emotional experience in the world.

The International Youth Foundation put it this way;

" Every young person needs at least one adult who is irrationally committed to their well-being. Millions of children grow up virtually alone - disconnected from adults. No love. No supervision. No positive role models. Yet these people must still find their way – they still grow up to become adults. Children can endure the most miserable conditions - even thrive in the midst of then when - if they have at least one loving adult committed to their success.” New Directions p66

Mentoring happens when adults commit themselves to young people, not because they have to, but because they want to. Urie Boronfenbrenner of Cornell University describes this as having an "irrational emotional attachment" to a young person... It is, in Boronfenbrenner's words, "the illusion that comes with love."

New Directions p66

Emmy E Werner's landmark conclusions were:“The strongest predictor of resilience (of children who grow up in abusive situations and then go on to live productive lives) was an adult mentor outside the immediate family -- grandmother, a minister for example -who gave them a sense of being loved and important.”

Starting Right p147

Research shows that young people seek help only from adults that they see as caring and nurturing.

“The systems in the human brain that allows us to form and maintain emotional relationships develop during infancy and the first years of life. Experiences during this early vulnerable period of life are critical to shaping the capacity to form intimate and emotionally healthy relationships.”

Dr. Bruce Perry

If we wait until a young person is around 14 or 15 years of age to address the potential hazards that face him, that is wait until he has experimented with drugs, sex or been severely influenced by many different media exposures we are starting much too late.

Social Support Lack of social support is associated with problem behaviors (drug and alcohol use, delinquent acts) among youth. Strong social support attenuates this adverse effect. (McCreary, & Slavine, 1996).

Social support is often less present in the lives of youths at risk of school failure. (Rickman & Rosenfled, 1998).

Roberts et al., 1995, defined “school as a community” as a place where students and teachers care about and support each other, actively participate in activities and decisions relating to school, feel a sense of belonging and identification within the school group, and have common goals and values.

“When students had a high perception of their school as a community, they tended to read more outside of school, enjoy reading more, enjoy class more, like school more, avoid work less, and were more academically motivated. They trusted and respected school more, enjoyed helping others learn more, had higher educational aspirations, and higher educational expectations. Academically, they achieved higher on reading and math achievement tests. In the area of personal attitudes and behaviours, they had more concern for others, higher self esteem, and resolved conflicts better.” It Takes a Church, p 54

“When teachers had a high perception of their school as a community they had higher expectations for student learning, trusted students more, enjoyed teaching more, were more satisfied with teaching, and had a higher overall satisfaction with their job. When the school climate was rated as having a high sense of community, the principal was more competent and supportive, parents were more supportive, and there were more positive student-teacher relations.”

It Takes a Church, p54.

Mastery

When the child’s need to be competent is satisfied, motivation for further achievement is enhanced; deprived of opportunities for success, young people express their frustration through troubled behaviour or by retreating in helplessness and inferiority.

A child’s self value is based upon their perception of how you value them.

Independence

In contrast to “obedience” models of discipline, Native child rearing is strongly influenced by the principle of guidance without interference. Elders teach values and provide models, but the child is given increasing opportunities to learn to make choices without coercion.

“Well-regulated freedom” was designed to give the child abundant opportunity to learn from experience and natural consequences In this manner, the child who has been given responsibility to make his own decisions in childhood would become a responsible, disciplined adult.

“Adolescents need oases - places where they can go and make mistakes and be imperfect - places where they can test themselves in the presence of safe, caring, and accepting adults and peers.

An adolescent who is given the zip-it silencing treatment,learns quickly not to experiment or trust himself.”

Starting Right p308

“It is clear that young people grow to maturity by being around those people who have such maturity themselves. Margaret Mead, the renowned anthropologist, warned of the dangers of what she called a co-figurative culture a culture in which all learning is horizontal, and little or no learning comes from an older and wiser generation.”

Starting Right p144

Anthropologist Ruth Benedict, criticised our culture for excluding youth from responsibility only to blame them for their irresponsibility

Generosity

Long before he could participate in the hunt, a boy would look forward to that day when he would bring home his first game and give it to persons in need.

Today, little is asked of young people except that they be consumers. A vast industry serves youth with schooling, entertainment and goods of all kinds, but there are limited opportunities for the young themselves to produce goods and services for others.

Deprived opportunities for genuine productivity, lured into consumptive roles, young people come to believe that their lives make little difference to the world.

More and more people today have the means to live but no meaning to their existence.

Normal Distorted AbsentAttached Gang Loyalty UnattachedLoving Craves Affection GuardedFriendly Craves Acceptance RejectedIntimate Promiscuous LonelyGregarious Clinging AloofCooperative Cult Vulnerable IsolatedTrusting Overly Dependent Distrustful

Belonging Belonging

Normal Distorted AbsentAchiever Overachiever NonachieverSuccessful Arrogant Failure OrientedCreative Risk-Seeker Avoid RisksProblem-Solver Cheater Fears ChallengesMotivate Workaholic UnmotivatedPersistent Delinquent Skill Gives Up EasilyCompetent Inadequate

Mastery Mastery

Normal Distorted AbsentAutonomous Dictatorial SubmissiveConfident Reckless/Macho Lacks ConfidenceAssertive Bullies Others InferiorityResponsible Sexual Prowess IrresponsibleInner Control Manipulative HelplessnessSelf-discipline Rebellious UndisciplinedLeadership Defies Authority Easily Led

Independence Independence

Normal Distorted AbsentAltruistic Noblesse Oblige SelfishnessCaring Plays Martyr AffectionlessSharing Co-Dependent NarcissisticLoyal Over involvement DisloyalEmpathetic Servitude HardenedPro-social Bondage AntisocialSupportive Exploitative

Generosity Generosity

Mending the Broken Circle

One may need to answer questions like these:Is this revenge by a child who feels rejection?Is this frustration in response to failure?Is this rebellion to counter powerlessness?Is this exploitation in pursuit of selfish goals?One cannot mend the circle of courage without understanding where it is broken.

In a conversation with his aging grandfather, Belleroe posed the question, “Grandfather, what is the purpose of life?” After a long time in thought, the old man looked up and said, “Grandson, children are the purpose of life. We were once children and someone cared for us, and now it is our time to care.”

“We don’t teach a kid how to become resilient. We surround them with social support and a loving and caring environment, we learn their names and greet them personally taking a few moments to talk one on one, and we develop enduring relationships with them”

It Takes a Church, page 4

“But suppose that they look at the model and find a person with whom they can truly identify.

Suppose they find a warm, loving, accepting, compassionate heart. Suppose they find high personal standards coupled with a great understanding of human weakness in others.

Suppose they find one who has purpose in life, who knows where they are going, and who journeys on their way with a song on their lips and a radiance on their face.

Will they not say, " That's what I want let me follow you. Teach me how to find the richness of life that you have found.”

Do you know the names of the children who live next door to you, who live in your street?

Do you regularly engage them in conversation?

Do you do most of the talking or most of the listening?

Are you a significant adult in the lives of the children within your circle of social contact?

You may be the single most important factor within a child’s life that protects them from risk.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Anthropologist Margaret Mead