Respecting Differences - CoE

RespectingDifferences

This unit looks at the need to respectdifferences between people, whetherthese are based on gender, race,disability, appearance, or something else.The effects of people’s intolerance andunkindness are explored.

The Unluckiest WomanKey stages 1 and 2by Don Rowe and Enid Tickle

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Key ideas

l Respect for selfl Concern for othersl Similarities and differences

between people

The Unluckiest Woman

This story is intended to look at howchildren feel about themselves and howthis may affect their relationships withothers. Many people experience feelings ofinadequacy or wish they were someoneelse. Not infrequently, these feelingsemerge as a dislike of certain personalcharacteristics, such as skin colour or size.

These feelings may be exacerbated by otherchildren indulging in name calling or usingother devices to label or exclude. Childrenare painfully aware of how it feels whenthey are subject to such unkind behaviour,

but are often unable to make anempathetic leap to imagine how their ownbehaviour can hurt others. The story mayhelp children share with each other how itfeels to be hurt or labelled and thusencourage greater empathy and respect forothers. It may also help them focus on thereal similarities between people rather thanon superficial differences.

Towards the end of the story there is a hintthat only when Isabella, the centralcharacter, stops feeling so wrapped up inherself does she begin to feel better. This isa further area for the children to explore.

Note that this story is written rather in thestyle of a folk tale, drawing on the “tallstory” tradition common in many Englishfolk tales. If possible, the teacher shouldadopt an “oral tradition” style ofstorytelling. Ideally, the text should be usedonly as a reference point or reminder, withthe teacher working from memory andacting out the tale as much as possible.

Moralreasoning

l Was Isabella wrong to feel sorry forherself, in your opinion?

l Why was it wrong of the children totaunt Isabella in the way they did?Think of all the reasons you can. Makea class list about why name calling isunfair.

l To do this you might draw a diagramon the board of an individualsurrounded by a circle of people. Ask the children to think of why namecalling is wrong or unkind from thepoint of view of:

a) The person being taunted?b) The people doing the taunting?c) The quality of community life?

l What things most easily hurt otherpeople’s feelings, in your opinion?

Below are some of the issues you could explore arising from the story. Remember toask the children if they would like to raise any issues of their own for discussion.

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Storywriting

Thinking things through

Community building

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l In the story, some of the characterswere content with their situation in lifeand others were not. Consider eachcharacter in turn and try to say whyeach was content or not content andwhether their feelings were justified orreasonable?

l Why did Isabella begin to feel better atthe end of the story do you think?

l Why is it that people often do things toother people when they would notwant the same thing done to them?Do you think it is:

a) deliberate cruelty;b) thoughtlessness; orc) something to do with people who

themselves have been hurt?

l How do you think the way people lookaffects the way we treat them? Is thisright or fair, in your opinion? Why orwhy not?

l Do people have any kind of right not tobe teased or taunted for somethingthey have no control over? If so, doother people have an obligation torespect that right? Would it be all right(or acceptable) to taunt someone forsomething they had actually done andtherefore deserved?

l In your opinion, was Isabella right to beso upset at the size of her nose or hadshe got it all “out of proportion”. Talkabout what getting things “out ofproportion” means to you and how orwhy it happens.

l People can be divided into all sorts ofdifferent physical categories. What aresome of these categories? Do you thinkpeople are basically similar or basicallydifferent? What is your evidence forthis?

l Would you prefer to live in acommunity where everyone was veryindependent of each other and lookedafter their own interests first or werevery kind and supportive of each other?What would be the difference betweenthe two sorts of community? Howwould this apply in school or at home?

l Do you think that people often wishthey were different? Have you ever feltthis? Share your own thoughts on thiswith each other.

l The old woman in the story wanted tobe “different”. In what sense do youthink she meant this? Do you feel it isimportant to be “different” from othersand why do you feel this? At the sametime how important is it to feel a senseof being part of a group or community?Why do you think this is?

l Write a story about a person who istreated as different in some way. Writeit, as if you were the person who wasbeing treated badly.

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TheUnluckiestWoman

here was once a woman whosename was Isabella. Isabella

thought she was the unluckiestwoman in the world.

“Why did she think this?” you mayask. Well, it wasn’t because she waspoor. In fact, she lived in a verylarge house and had so manyservants to work for her, she neverhad to lift a finger. For example, ifshe wanted to go for a walk, shewould just tell one of her servantsand they would go for a walk forher. (And she could always goherself if she really wanted to,

though she rarely did.) So thatwasn’t why she felt unlucky.

And it wasn’t because she couldn’tdo anything. She could do lots ofthings well. She could sewbeautifully and she was verymusical. In fact, she couId play theharp so well that people passing bywould stop in the street at thesound of her music.

“What is that heavenly sound?”they would ask, as the musicfloated in the air like angel dustfalling from the sky. Yes, believe me,

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she could play the harp better thananyone. So that wasn’t why she feltunlucky.

And it wasn’t because she was nota nice person. The people whoknew her all said how kind andhelpful she was.

But Isabella had a problem. Eachmorning she would get up and gostraight to the mirror. There shewould stare at her reflection. Thenshe would burst into tears and cryfor an hour and all because of thesize of her nose. In truth it was abig nose. Her friends said it was amajestic nose, a noble nose, thequeen of noses - but they had toadmit it was a VERY LARGE NOSE.

Unfortunately, the children in thevillage were less kind. If they eversaw Isabella walking or riding, theywould follow her and chant unkindrhymes as children do.

“Isabella, Isabella,What do we all want to tell her?That she’s got a whopping smeller.Isabella, Isabella.”

For this reason Isabella only left herhouse when she knew the childrenwould be in bed.

Isabella had tried all sorts of waysto make her nose smaller.

She had tried vanishing cream butthat didn’t work. She had bought allsorts of potions and medicineswhich people had sold to her at agreat price. But none of these hadworked. Once she even triedblowing her nose all the time,hoping that some of it would beblown away. But her nose justbecame sore and swollen. Then shetried special kinds of make-upwhich, it was said, would make hernose look smaller. But she foundthat the make-up has not yet beeninvented that could do this.

Now one morning as soon as shewoke up, she went as usual to lookin the mirror. Even though she was

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sleepy she knew something wasdifferent but she was not preparedfor the sight which met her. There,on the very end of her nose, was aboil. A huge, bright red boil, shiningin the morning sun. It wasenormous and, of course, sitting onthe end of her nose it reached farout in front of her as she stood andstared. She could not believe herbad luck.

“I am truly the unluckiest woman inthe world,” she wailed.

She decided she could not face herfriends or servants. Quickly packingsome things she quietly left herhouse without letting anyone seeher. Mounting her favourite horse,she rode away, taking a large bag

of money and a few clothes. With acloak around her and a large hoodpulled over her face, she hoped noone would recognise her.

After a few days, Isabella came to atown which she had never visitedbefore and where no one knew her.By the side of the road were twomen – a blind man and a man withone leg. The sight of these poormen made her think.

“Good day to you,” she said to themen.

“I thought until now that I must bethe most unlucky person in theworld because of the size of mynose. But now I can see that youare much more unlucky than I am.”

“Me? Unlucky?”, said the blind man.“I’m not unlucky. I’ve had a goodlife. My family look after me well. Ihave a loving wife, five children andten grandchildren who visit meoften. And every day I come here tosit with my friend to talk about theold days.”

“You, then,” said the woman to theman with one leg, “you are unluckyto have lost a leg. Aren’t you moreunlucky than I am?”

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“I can’t complain”, said the man. “Ican get about on my crutches toenjoy the sunshine and the openair. And every day I spend timelaughing and talking with my friendhere. No, I can’t really complain.”

“Well I can,” said Isabella. “It’s trueI have my health and strength andI have lots of money and manyfriends but my nose is so huge, Ibelieve I shall never be happy.”

“Well, if I had a nose like yours, Ishould be proud of it,” said the one-legged man. “I would grow amoustache underneath it and showit off to the world. I would invitepeople to come and see it andcharge them money. Then I wouldbe rich.”

“And if I had a big nose,” said theblind man, “I should sit here andenjoy the smells of the world – thescent of the flowers, and of thepollen on the legs of the bees asthey fly to the hive. With a big noseI should smell the wind and knowwhat the weather was bringing.Imagine that! To be able to forecastthe weather! Farmers would give alot for such knowledge and I toowould be rich.”

“I cannot give you my nose,” saidthe woman, “but if it’s money youwant I can give you my money. Youcan see that it has not made mehappy.” And with that she gavethem all the money she had left.Then, bidding them goodbye, shegot on her horse and travelled on.

After a while she met an old ladycarrying a huge bundle of sticksacross her shoulders.

“Good day to you, ma’am,” saidIsabella.

“And good day to you,” said the oldlady, “what a fine horse you have.If only I had such a beast it couldcarry my sticks for me and I wouldbe happy.”

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“And if only I had a nose as smallas yours, I too should be happy,”said Isabella.

“Well if I had a nose as big asyours,” said the old lady, “I couldbe a great cook. I would be able tosmell exactly what was in any dishyou put in front of me and in thisway I could become the best cookin the world. No chef’s secret wouldbe safe any more. Besides, withsuch a nose I would really besomeone. People would look at meas I passed them in the street. Theywould say ‘Look there goes the oldlady with the big nose.’ At least Iwould be different from everyoneelse.”

“But you are different fromeveryone else,” said Isabella. “Noone is the same. And believe me, ifI could give you my nose, and theboil on the end of it, I would.”

“Boil?, what boil?” said the old lady.“You have no boil on the end ofyour nose. It is in good health, forall its size.”

“For this news, my dear lady,” saidIsabella, “I shall indeed give you myhorse. It is a fine animal but youcan see it has not made mehappy.”

The old lady thanked Isabella manytimes for the horse and, putting hersticks on the animal’s back, shecarried on homewards with alighter step.

By now Isabella was tired andhungry and she sat down by theside of the road. She had no moneyand no horse and she had not gotrid of her nose, but strangely shebegan to feel better inside than shehad for a long time. So she got toher feet, pointed her nosehomeward and followed it.

Did she ever get home again? Yes,of course she did, though it tookher many days. How she did it I amnot sure and she kept it a secretuntil the day she died. But I thinkher nose must have come in usefulafter all, don’t you?



Respecting Differences - CoE

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