Respectful Parenting Respectful Parenting Respectful KidsRespectful Kids

Madonna M. Thiner KellenMadonna M. Thiner KellenHead StartHead Start

Mental Health and Disability CoordinatorMental Health and Disability Coordinator

What legacy do you leave your child?

“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.”

Forest E. Witcraft

Why Respectful Parenting?• Respectful parenting helps a child to foster self-

worth, promoting academic and social success.

• Respectful parenting gives a child control over their life encouraging positive decision making.

• Respectful parenting fosters bonding between parents and children that lasts a life time.

• Respectful parenting helps a child to develop successful intimate relationships later in life.

• Respectful parenting helps a child to build healthy boundaries and successful friendships.

• Respectful parenting encourages open communication and dialog within families.

Respectful Communication• Really tune in to what your child is trying to say. • Listen when your child talks to you and respond to them with interest .• Set aside regular time to communicate with your child in private.• Be available. When they come to you, try to drop everything to talk with

them showing them they are important to you.• Get down to their level. Kneeling or squatting when talking with your

preschooler allows you to tune in to what she might be feeling or thinking.

• Active listening helps preschoolers cope and control their emotions. Instead of asking them to repeat themselves, repeat back to them what you think they are feeling saying, “I see that you feel…can you tell me about that?”

• Be patient. Try to let your child finish their sentences before interrupting. If what they are saying makes no sense to you, try saying, “I hear you saying…am I right?”

• Read books about emotions and feelings, books can serve as tools for communication. This can also increase vocabulary giving children words to express their feelings.

• Always be honest. When we lie to children, we lose their trust. When children lose trust, we promote anxiety and fear.

Foster a Children’s Self-esteemProvide More Successes than Failures for Your Child

Give Your Child the Freedom to Fail with Acceptance

Give Lots of Encouragement

Give Unconditional Love

Allow Independence

Eliminate the Negative

Don’t Set Unreasonably Standards or Goals

Avoid Ridicule

Praise Achievements

Be Available To Talk

Give your Children Responsibility

Be a Good Role Model

Take Their Ideas, Emotions and Feelings Seriously

Help Your Child Develop Talents

Set Limits & Boundaries

Allow Exploration and Encourage Questions

Play With Your Child!Be Consistent and Predictable

Respect is a Two Way Street• The relationship that you share with your

child is the foundation for all other relationships that your child will have in their life.

• Giving and receiving respect is a two way street.

• In treating your child with respect you

model respect that they will give back to you.

• This respect will also be shown to others that they build relationships later in life.

Fear Does Not Teach Respect!It Teaches….

•Obedience Without Reason•Distrust Causing Anxiety•Discontent and Unhappiness•Withdrawn or Low Social Skills•Hostility with Violence•Dishonesty•Low Achievement•Low Communication•Rebellion

Affects of Fear• Children from rigid homes are so

strictly controlled, either by punishment or emotional guilt, that they are often prevented from making a conscious choice about decisions because they are overly concerned about what will happen to them.

Respect without Fear Promotes…

•Happy and Content Children•Self-reliance•Self-controlled•High Social Communication Skills•Cooperative Team Players•Team Leaders•High-Achiever’•Less Disruptive•Lowers Delinquency Rate

Affects of Respectful Parenting

• Children whose parents have reasonable expectations for their children to fulfill commitments, participate actively in family duties, as well as have family fun, learn how to formulate goals and build healthy relationships. They also experience the satisfaction that comes from meeting responsibilities and achieving success.

Activity• Most of us raise our children

using the parenting techniques our parents used.

• In a group talk about the ways in which you were parented and the positive and negative outcomes of that.

• With what you learned today, what would you do differently using respectful parenting?

Assignment: Think of some appropriate solutions to the following

situations?1. Tommy is throwing a ball in the living room and knocks

over a lamp.2. Nicole is throwing sand at the other kids in the sand pile.3. Your three children are bickering in the backseat while

you are driving on the interstate.4. Jerry, eating in a restaurant with you, creates a

disturbance and humiliates you by belching and giggling loudly.

5. Amy keeps forgetting to take her lunch money to school. You are always having to remind her to do it or take it to her at school.

6. Jon won’t come in the house when you call him for dinner.

7. Heather takes her brother’s money from his piggybank and spends it.

8. Your teenager keeps the car out past the agreed time.9. Jocelyn refuses to do her homework.10. Craig leaves his dirty clothes on the floor instead of

putting them in the hamper where they are supposed to go.

Children Learn What They Live

• If Children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

• If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. • If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves. • If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy. • If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy. • If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty. • If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence. • If children live with tolerance, they learn patience. • If children live with praise, they learn appreciation. • If children live with acceptance, they learn to love. • If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves. • If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal. • If children live with sharing, they learn generosity. • If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness. • If children live with fairness, they learn justice. • If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect. • If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves

and in those about them. • If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place

in which to live. ©Dorothy Law Nolte